For Your Own Good
I felt like writing something sad the other day and poor Tiggy became the victim of it. XD
Tig cheats on you after Dawn dies because he wants you to leave him so nothing like that happens to you.
After his Dawn was killed, Tig had started pushing you away. He wanted you to think you two were growing apart, hoping that you would just leave and he didn’t have to do anything drastic. He knew you were okay with what the club life entails and even Gemma was impressed with how well you adapted to club life, but what happened with Dawn, he couldn’t let happen to you. He loved you too much to let you be around him anymore.
Pushing you away and practically ignoring didn’t work, he knew in the back of his mind it wouldn’t. You knew him too well, you probably just thought he was grieving and gave him his space to do so. Besides, giving up was never like you, that’s why your relationship had worked so well. Despite that, he knew staying close to him would only put you in danger. He needed to make you would leave him permanently.
He knew you were headed over to the clubhouse so he had it all planned and, well, it had gone according to plan. You walked into Tig’s room only to find him balls deep inside a croweater.
He had turned around when he heard you open the door. He tried to keep his face expressionless when he saw you standing there looking shocked and hurt. You were still working things through your mind as the croweater frantically got dressed and left, fearing the fury of an Old Lady.
Tig watched your expression changed from hurt and shock to rage as he put his pants back on.
“What the hell was that, Alex?!” You yelled, shoving him. He let you shove him and just shrugged it off.
“A croweater.” He replied plainly.
“Aren’t you going to explain yourself?!” You screamed.
“There’s nothing to explain, doll.” Tig scoffed. “I got bored of you. I found someone else to fill my time.”
“What?” You were suddenly quiet and the color rushed out of your face.
“You heard me.” He shrugged. “I found someone else.”
“But you said you loved me.” You whispered, a tear ran down your face. Tig’s jaw twitched. It took everything he had to keep from stopping this act and begging on his knees for you to forgive him. The only thing that kept him going was the feeling that he was doing this to protect you.
“That was just to get you to stay.” He said coldly. “Don’t take it personal, doll.”
He stood there, waiting for your reply. Your expression turned angry again, your brow furrowed and your jaw clenched. Tig wanted you to get angry. He wanted you to scream and shove or slap him again but you didn’t. You just looked at him and said in a hurt filled voice,
“Well, fuck you too, Tig.” Then you left, shutting his door behind you and that was the last he’d seen of you.
He’d gone to your house a week later, hoping that things had cooled off enough to where he could get his things and return his key. Your house was empty except a couple boxes of his stuff with his name on them.
You’d left no note, no sign of where you had gone. That’s when Tig really realized how badly he had screwed up but he pushed it from his mind, telling himself that he would have only gotten you killed.
He returned to the clubhouse and started gathering up all your things from his room in case you ever came back for it. Tig’s door opened without anyone knocking. It was Gemma.
“That was a damn good woman you shit on, Tiggy.” Gemma crossed her arms, standing in his doorway. “You really messed up now.”
“I know, but I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if anything had happened to her.” Tig shook his head.
“That’s bullshit, Tig and you know it.” Gemma told him. “She knew what the club life was and she would have stuck with you through thick and thin but you threw that all away because you were too damn afraid to face it. I hope you can live with that.”
Then she left but her words stuck in Tig’s head. Now he realized how big of an idiot he’d been. You had only ever been there for him and this was how he repaid you? How could he have thought that he was actually protecting you?
He picked up a photo strip that he had of the two of you from the photo booth at a carnival from a while back. You and Tig looked so happy, so carefree. He hadn’t realized how much of a weight you took off his shoulders until you were gone. Now it felt like his world was crashing down around him. He hadn’t realized you were his rock or that you were the only sane thing in his crazy life.
He sat down on the edge of his bed and rubbed his face with his hand. Maybe you’d come back. Maybe he could beg you to take him back and try to fix this.
Now it’s been months since Tig had last seen you. He didn’t realize how much he’d miss you when you were actually gone. All that time he had spent pushing you away you had still been there but now… Now you were gone and he didn’t know where you were or if you were safe. He missed you.
He stared at the bottom of his empty glass and wondered how he’d managed to screw up everything he’d ever done right in his life. He should have accepted the support you offered instead of being a coward and pushing you away. He should have married you instead of forcing you out. He could still tell himself that you were safer wherever you were now than you had ever been around him but it no longer made him feel any better.
What made it worse was that he could never escape you. Every time he closed his eyes all he saw was the hurt on your face. Every dream he had was about you. He tried to drown you out with croweaters but all he could think of when he was with them was you.
His heart was empty without you. It made his grieving worse. He missed his daughter. He felt guilty for her death, he knew it was his fault. He hadn’t realized just how much simply having you around had helped him cope and now he had lost you from his life too. All he could do now is keep lying to himself that he did this for your own good.