this is horrible ide



Here to shake things up

[Ko-fi / Redbubble]


Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: It’s your birthday, and this is Bucky’s late gift to you. (No plot, just smut)

Warnings: smut. Unprotected sex(Wrap it before you tap it) daddy and kitten kinks, sergeant kink, ties and such

A/N: Happy birthday to my babe, @jamesbarnesblog! This one is for you, bb.

Bucky backed you up against the door of his quarters, smashing his lips against yours as his hands roamed your body, your hands playing with his white collar and tie in a hot and heavy kiss. “Easy, Sergeant.”

Keep reading

i am going to Self Destruct 

presenting: ??????? THE ??????S?? from the ever growing sonic character generator meme oh my god

I dug up and drew as many as i could i know i missed a ton but featured here are those of: mine, @squeakybat @criminalcrow @plebiantologist @rauthrraven @veggiemadness @drawloverlala @fini-mun @spiritsonic @shinyzango @squigglydigglydoo 

they’re all horribly beautiful disasters and i unconditionally love all of them

id Love to shade and highlight these but 

If you ever do your own, tag it Sonic Character Generator so I can see! or SCG Meme for short!

Tacky Flowers

Here’s a little something for @clexaweek2017 Enemies to Lovers

“Can you believe she called my flowers tacky?” Clarke paced back and forth across the parlor waiting room. Raven and Octavia were just watching the Clarke bomb explode, hoping it didn’t get too nasty too fast.

“Clarke, she is a botanist. She’s just… passionate,” Octavia said. She knew Lexa personally thanks to Lincoln, and she truly was passionate about her plants. Octavia had seen how dedicated she was, even though it seemed a bit much. Talking to plants? Admitted, it was a little unusual, but it obviously worked for her.

“I don’t care if she’s the best damned botanist in the world. No one calls my art tacky.” Clarke stopped pacing. She had to talk to Lexa. There was no way she was going to let some flower girl  tell her how to draw plants. She couldn’t even draw. How dare she have the nerve to tell an actual artist how to draw a damn flower.

Raven and Octavia watched in horror as Clarke stormed out of the tattoo parlor. Damn Clarke and her ego. It was a bit harsh for Lexa to say her art was tacky, but she hadn’t realized the monster that was Wounded Ego Clarke. Both girls kind of wanted to go watch to see what Lexa had really unleashed, but they knew better than to get in Clarke’s way when she was on a rampage.

They just hoped Lexa would survive long enough to fill them in on the details.

Lexa had been trying to help a customer when Clarke tried to throw her shop door open. She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from laughing at the attempt. Clarke would have been successful, but Lexa had a door closer that slowed the speed of the door, so it looked like she was opening it in slow motion. It was pretty comical.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. What else did you say you would like?” Lexa tried to listen to the customer, but she was a bit distracted by Clarke’s apparent bad attitude. Her brows were furrowed and her hands were clenched at her sides. What had happened to make such a gorgeous lady become so angry?

Thankfully, Lexa had a customer to help so it kept her mind off of the beautifully angry Clarke standing in her shop’s doorway. She went around gathering the flowers that she felt her customer would be satisfied with, considering her situation. Lexa couldn’t begin to count how many people came to her trying to make up for mistakes in relationships. This younger lady was no exception.

“Here you go. I hope everything works out.” Lexa smiled and handed over the flowers. Her customer thanked her before backing out and almost running into Clarke. Luckily she realized she was in the way and moved over just long enough for the customer to leave, but then she flipped the “Welcome” sign to “Closed.”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Clarke, but it’s only 2:30. I’m not closed for the day.” Lexa didn’t have time to enjoy her teasing because Clarke was already at the counter. As cliche as it sounded, her blue eyes held a storm in them. The fact that the storm was directed at her made Lexa as turned on as she was scared.

“We need to talk.” Clarke’s mouth was moving, but Lexa was too distracted. She should’ve been paying attention. Clarke wouldn’t be this angry over nothing, and it was probably something Lexa had done. But dammit, angry Clarke was kind of hot.

“I’m listening.” Lexa could tell that Clarke hadn’t been expecting that kind of answer. Maybe she had expected her to argue already?

“Who do you think you are to call my flowers tacky?” Clarke had never been one to hold back or beat around the bush. Her father had always said to just spit it out so as not to waste anyone’s time. She had thought it was an excellent piece of advice. Especially when she wanted to start arguments.

“A person who got a degree in plants and someone that runs a flower shop. Really, Clarke, I thought you knew that already.” Lexa knew she was just stroking the fire. She also knew that angry women could be very dangerous. But she deserved to have a little fun in her life, right?

“You know nature, not art.”

“Art imitates nature.”

“Art imitates feelings. It’s just a coincidence if those feelings appear in the form of nature.”

“So when you draw flowers you feel inadequate?” Lexa knew immediately that she had said the wrong thing. Clarke’s eyes narrowed while she clenched her jaw. This wasn’t going to be good. Lexa had unleashed the beast.

“How dare you call me inadequate. I’ve dedicated my whole life to my art. Can you say the same about your stupid flowers?”

“I don’t have to take a lifetime to be good at something.”Clarke’s jaw dropped. She went too far.

“Don’t act like you’re better than everyone else. You sell flowers. It doesn’t take a passionate botanist to do that.”

“Maybe it doesn’t, but it definitely takes a special kind of person to tolerate you.”

“Tolerate me? Honey, people enjoy me.” Clarke knew they were getting petty and starting to take cheap shots. She hadn’t expected this to end up so… childish. She had honestly just wanted to confront Lexa about the insult to her ego. This back-and-forth argument didn’t really help, though.

“Oh yeah? Prove it.” Lexa didn’t know what she was expecting. Maybe she was expecting Clarke to pull out pictures or a video. She could have even spurted out a story about how much fun she had had with some of her friends one time. What she hadn’t expected, though, was for Clarke to grab Lexa’s shirt, pull her close, and kiss her. And she definitely hadn’t expected what was happening soon after.

“That was hate sex. Just so you know.” Clarke hadn’t really planned on, well, doing what she did. It was just once. Oh, and it was to prove a point. It’s not like it had meant anything. It’s definitely not like she had enjoyed it. Or so she told herself.

“I’m not so sure. I think you just wanted to act out that scene from “Imagine Me & You.”” Lexa was too smug. She was very happy with what had happened. It had been unexpected, but it was definitely pleasant. Clarke was right. She did enjoy Clarke. Maybe a little too much.

“Oh whatever. You couldn’t live up to Luce no matter how hard you tried.”

“Whatever you say, Griffin.”

Clarke looked at Lexa a little longer. She hadn’t solved her problem. She still hadn’t convinced Lexa that her art was beautiful. It was the whole reason she had gone over there in the first place. The reason she had interrupted both hers and Lexa’s businesses for the day. Well, she guessed she would just need to visit Lexa more often until the ‘situation’ was solved. Yeah, that seemed like a very good plan.

honestly all y'all doing lists of wrestlers you’d sleep with amaze me like…y'all have such restraint bc mine would just be like;

most of them; because i am a h o e

feelmyroarrrr  asked:

Could I have 18 36 & 59 for lance please?

18. “Would you let me kiss you..? Just once?”
36. “What do you mean, ‘never been kissed’?”
59. “I would never hurt you.. you know that, right..?”

“Y'know, honestly.. and this is going to make me sound like such a manwhore, but uh..” Lance paused, his signature smirk taking over his face. “Just because I fuck a woman, doesn’t mean I’ll kiss her.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes and taking another small sip from your wine glass. “What is that supposed to mean, Lance? You’ll eat a girls pussy, but won’t lock lips with her?” You giggled, shaking your head slightly when you saw a blush appear on his cheeks.

He let out a chuckle, taking a sip of his drink, too, and clearing his throat before he spoke again. “I won’t even do that for just anyone.” He told you, his tone softer than before. “How many girls do you think you’ve kissed?” You asked, staring at him over the edge of your glass.

He took a few moments to think about it, scratching his chin and pursing his lips. “Not counting the flings in highschool, cause they were horrible, Id have to say.. less than 10.” You couldn’t hide the shock on your face. Only 10? “Okay, but how many have you slept with?” You prodded, and he suddenly looked a little uncomfortable. “Too many.. trust me.” He murmured, swirling the remainder of his drink in his glass.

You watched him carefully as he stared into his glass, not being able to remember the last time you saw him this vulnerable. You two had been friends off and on for years, but you hadn’t really gotten a chance to spend any quality time with him until this weekend, when he’d invited you to his cousins wedding with him. It meant you’d get to stay in a fancy hotel, eat amazing food, and drink all the booze you could handle, free of charge. Of course you said yes.

“How about you?” He asked, pulling you from your thoughts. “How many girls have I kissed? Zero.” You told him with a chuckle. He shook his head, scooting a little closer to you on the couch. “No, I mean.. how many people have you kissed?”

It was your turn to be uncomfortable.

“Well, Tucker.. the answer to that would also be zero. I’m part of the never been kissed club.” You replied, adverting your gaze, gulping down the rest of your wine. You heard him sputter over his drink, coughing a few times before he spoke. “What do you mean, never been kissed?” He asked, awe evident in his voice.

You shrugged, still not meeting his eyes. “I don’t know, Lance, it just never happened.. I guess I have my lack of allure to thank for that.” You tried to joke, but he didn’t laugh.

“Look at me.” You heard him whisper, his voice soft, nervous almost. You looked up slowly, sucking in a breath when you realized how much closer he had gotten to you. “Would you… let me kiss you..? Just once..?” He breathed, tentatively bringing his hand up to caress your cheek. You let out a shaky breath, licking your lips. “I.. I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Lance.. I..” You stopped, a blush rising onto your cheeks. “I would never hurt you.. you know that, right..?” He murmured, his thumb stroking your jaw softly.

“I bet you say that to all the girls, hm?” You flirted, leaning into his touch slightly, unable to help yourself. He hums softly, leaning forward and resting his forehead against yours, a sudden rush of whiskey and toothpaste taking over your senses. “Mm.. you’re different.. you’ve always been different.” He tells you, nuzzling your nose with his own.

You could hear your heart beating in your ears and your breath hitched in your throat at his closeness, your hands instinctively coming up to rest on the back of his neck. “Different, how?” You wondered, letting your eyes fall shut as you leaned further into his touch.

“Different as in.. I’ve never wanted to kiss someone as much as I want to kiss you right now.” Was his reply, his lips brushing yours with each word he spoke. “I bet you say that to all the girls.” You managed to repeat, a small whimper escaping your lips at the end of your sentence. He smiled widely, moving his hand to the nape of your neck. “Just shut up and let me fucking kiss you already.” He mumbled before pulling your lips to his, immediately darting his tongue out to swipe at your lip.

Originally posted by sergeantskinnyjeans

Originally posted by relationshipaims

Either Ask Her Out Or I Will Do It For You! (Lafayette x Reader)

You slowly disinfected and patched up the wound. Marquis de Lafayette, a french military officer had been brought into your portion of the hospital tent about ten minutes ago. A bullet had grazed his side in battle, and although it was nothing serious, it still needed to be cleaned and patched up in order to avoid infection. He was sitting upright on the hospital cot, as you fiddled with your roll of gauze. You pressed the material over the wound as he winced in pain.

“You really have to be careful out there, you know.” You said, finally securing the gauze on his ribcage.

“Ah, if this is all I suffer for independence and keeping you safe, it will be worth it.” he responded, in his thick french accent.

You reached into your bag and pulled out a bandage.

“Sir, this is not the first time you have been in to see me. Please be more careful. One of these days, the wound may be more serious.”

Mi amor, I will keep getting injured if that is what it takes to see you again.”

You scoff as you finish placing the bandage on him. You and Lafayette had a long history together. Ever since you first treated his dislocated knee, it seemed every time he got injured, he came running to you as quickly as possible. Since then, you’ve treated everything, from viruses to gunshot wounds. You didn’t mind at all, he was a very charming and handsome man. But there was no way he could have had interest in you. He was a busy, dedicated worker, with no time for a relationship. His flirting with you must have been a result of the pain killers.

“You need rest, sir.”

He sighed as he slowly lowered himself into a flat position, laying on the cot with his head propped up by a very thin pillow. 

“Thank you Miss (Y/N). You are truly un ange.”

You smiled.

“Please stay safe, sir.”

“Call me Marquis,” He responded.

You smiled, stepped away from the bed and pulled the curtain that surrounded the cot over. He needed to sleep and heal. 


Hours later, and it was time to check up on Lafayette, and clean his wounds again. As you approached the area, you could see that the curtain was still drawn over, but you could see a figure standing upright behind it. You began to rush.

“MARQUIS!” you yelled, and the figure turned its head around.

“You are not supposed to be standing up yet! That could reopen the w-” 

As you snatched the curtain back, you realized it was not Lafayette standing up, but instead Alexander Hamilton, visiting your patient. Lafayette was still lying in bed, a grin spreading across his face as you realized you had just screeched at the right hand man of your boss.

“Oh sir, please forgive me, I thought I saw Lafayette standing up, and that could have reopened the wound, and then we would have to start tr-” 

“Not to worry,” Alex replied, “I can tell you didn’t mean harm.”

“No sir, I am truly sorry, it won’t happen again.”

“Nonsense. In fact, Lafayette was just telling me about how smart, skilled, and cute his nurse is. And by what I’ve seen, he must be talking about you.” He smiled, grabbing your hand and kissing it. You blushed.

“Thank you, sir. I’ll…um… let you two finish your conversation.” You stammered, stepping our of the space and pulling the curtain over again. 

(He thinks I’m cute?)

You stepped over to a nearby cabinet to check the hospital inventory while you waited. Those pain killers you gave Marquis should have worn off by now, but apparently he was still saying delusional things.

“So that’s her?”

You paused. Obviously thinking that you were gone, Alexander and Marquis continued their conversation.

“Yes, she always takes care of me when I’m injured. Of course I don’t let any other nurse take care of me, but what’s the difference.”

“I don’t blame you, Laf. She’s gorgeous.”

(He always requests for me?)

“She’s incredibly intelligent as well. She speaks fluent french and is the most knowledgable nurse here.” Lafayette stated, completely unaware of your presence.

“Ask her out, Laf!”

“Ah, non. She is a busy woman, I am not good enough for her.”

“What are you talking about, Laf? You’re a great guy!”


“Either ask her out or I will do it for you!”

“Alex that’s a horrible ide-”

Hamilton burst through the curtian.


You spun around, pretending not to have heard the entire conversation.

“Is something wrong?”

“You see, my buddy, the idiot who got himself shot, has been telling me how ravishingly beautiful and intelligent you are,” he beamed. 

You glanced over to Laf. He had buried his face into his pillow. 

“He also would like to know if he, an idiot who got shot, might be able to take you out some night, ya know, after you heal his wound.”

You grinned and looked at Lafayette, still hiding his face in his pillow from embarrassment. 

“Does the idiot who got shot know how to dance?” you grinned.

You saw Laf peek out from the pillow.

“You bet he does!” replied Alexander, “He’s the full package! Able to dance and not entirely bulletproof!”

You laughed out loud.

“Well tell him that once I heal him up, I’d love to go dancing with him some night, and that he shouldn’t be so shy around a nurse.” You chuckled, giving Alexander a wink.

You turned on your heels, and walked out of the tent.

Once you exited, you heard two victory cries and the sound of a high-five.

You blush and smile to yourself. There revolutionaries have no clue how sound travels through cloth. 

  • <p> <b>Someone:</b> oh no Dr Flug is literally the shows punching bag!!<p/><b>My masochist ass that heavily IDs with Flug:</b> oh noooo what a Horrible thing to happen. whatever will we dooooo<p/></p>

anonymous asked:

i really wish i could have pets bc id order a horrible drawing in no time ok. sadly my dads allergic to most fur and mom doesnt like the idea of any non-fur animals as pets. one day.....

I’ve had pet-less folk order monsters & animals ;) what a Horrible Drawing gets you is a 5x7 card with whatever beast you like on it!