this is hella awk

the verb “can” is so fuckin weird

for starters, most verbs have a “to” like “to love”, “ to want”, “to fight”, but you can’t say “to can”. in fact, you’d say “to be able to”.

which brings me to the fact that “can” is basically a random substitute for “to be able to” depending on the indicated time ???

like for example:

Past: I wanted
Present: I want
Future: I will want

Past: I was able to (or I could, it depends)
Present: I can
Future: I will be able to

like you can say “I can go to the store” but you can’t say “I will can go to the store” you have to say “I will be able to go to the store”.

and like technically I guess we could replace the present “can” with “to be able to” and it would work but just sound hella awk like “I’m able to go to the store”

PLUS it doesn’t get conjugated AT ALL

ex:

I want, he wants
I fight, she fights
BUT
I can, he can
You can, she can

IT NEVER GETS AN “ S” it’s never “he cans” or “she cans”

like I’m sure there’re very logical yet bizarre and fascinating linguistic reasons for all this but just like whatthefUCK “can” ????!??!??

For a while, he’d thought that thing, that nightmare, would never end. Somewhere deep inside of him, he’d believed it was true, believed every word the voice that called itself fear had said. And while he wasn’t much one for hugging and physical intimacy, when he finally registered who was approaching, he found himself sweeping them into a tight hug - attempting to banish the image of their lifeless eyes, staring into nothingness from his mind. “Thank the heavens,” he hummed, holding them tighter and breathing in their scent. It was strange the things you missed about people, when you thought you’d never see them again.

I told myself that I would stop yelling but do they ACTUALLY EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE that Mary made two different DVD’s, one where she’s all serious and like ‘I am probably dead as you’re watching this. Sherlock, you need to save John Watson. Save him. Put yourself through hell. Fucking die for all I care’ and the other where she’s like 'hi guys!!!!! In this vlog I just want to say, because I somehow know that everything went ok as I’m a fucking omnipresent force or something idk, I love my Baker Street boys!!!!!! Btw it doesn’t matter who you really are and I hope you find this DVD before the other one because that would be HELLA AWKS lmao peace out bitches xoxoxoxoxox’

the couple im hanging out with are fighting in front of me rn and it’s hella awks so here’s some fluffy tyler/mark headcanons:

- tyler loves trolling mark just as much as mark loves to troll him, it’s their most common way of flirting tbh.

- like tyler loves to sass mark especially when mark is being cranky. mark gets mad sometimes but it always ends up chilling him out eventually.

- tyler insists on having a weekly date night where there’s no youtube talk and it’s just the two of them bc couple time is essential. sometimes they just sit at home and watch netflix, sometimes they go out somewhere nice.

- mark knows tyler really appreciates romantic gestures so he gets him little presents like flowers or drones.

- mark always starts out joking when he tells tyler to spank him or calls him daddy or tries to get tyler to pin him down when they’re wrestling but it’s cuz he’s still shy about liking to be dominated/manhandled sometimes. it’s ok though bc tyler knows this and is the one to transition the playing around into sex. he’s got you, bb.

- mark expected tyler to be hesitant about bottoming but tyler’s just like ??? dude, i wouldn’t be with you at all if i didn’t trust you, like, it’s all good. also i’ve done it before.

- ethan jokingly ships them and teases them all the time about how they’re practically a couple, he was SO HAPPY when they finally hooked up.

- they are both blanket hogs and fight over the bathroom in the morning, like, it’s a constant war for resources between them about everything down to the last cookie.

- tyler is constantly pushing mark to try new things and express himself and maintain a healthy work/life balance and mark sometimes calls him his supportive wifey and even though they’re both aware that’s sexist/heteronormative af it kinda sticks, so mark changes tyler’s name on his phone to wife and always greets him with a solemn “hello, wife”

- tyler is super deadpan so mark often gets nervous that he’s mad or annoyed with mark and sometimes tyler doesn’t correct him and say nah dude i’m good, cuz the longer mark is nervous the more likely he is to apologize for something tyler didn’t even know he did yet

Hear me out now guys 

A Pimmbits AU where Kent Parson goes to Samwell and that’s actually where he and Jack meet. They’re in the same year. Jack still has a troubled past, and Kent is wicked at hockey but hadn’t got the training he needed to make it to the NHL the same time he did canonically. The two of them become best friends, and eventually start dating secretly, much like the pre-draft but less messy because theyre both a little older and just a tad more mature/experienced. 

Enter Bitty. It’s Jack and Kent’s third year. Bitty is still a pain to Jack, but because Kent and Jack are co-captains they can play a little good cop/bad cop. Eventually the three become decent friends. They get closer as time goes on, yada yada. It gets exciting, though, when Bitty catches the two of them kissing the day he moves into the Haus his second year.

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inhabitedisland  asked:

hi! could you write about Lily stuck in dress and James who helps her to take it off? thank you :)

I’m going for marauders era :))) 

  • lily had been in her dorm room for the past hour and dresses should not have this many straps
  • honestly, getting it on was easy but getting it off is a completely different task
  • Marlene already left bc her stomach could be heard for miles
  • lily was thinking of asking remus for help but of course the full moon was yesterday and hes still in the hospital wing 
  • she even thought about asking sirius 
  • but he and peter were with remus
  • she finally just gave up and poked her head into the common room
  • right as james was walking through the portrait 
  • fantastic 
  • with a deep breath she called out james’ name 
  • james’ eyes lit up like a bloody christmas tree ffs
  • “wow evans.. i didn’t know dresses had that many straps” 
  • lily rolled her eyes bc potter is such a fucking dork oh merlin why 
  • but a cute dork no wth head stfu
  • lily sighed and stepped further into the common room with her hands out at her sides 
  • “i’m stuck” “well I’ll say” “Potter.” “right, sorry. Do you… want some help?” “that would be ideal, prat” 
  • james just laughed bc he’s been head over heals for evans since second year
  • so he walked over as lily turned around so he could try to undo the strappy mess on her back
  • easier said than done!!!!!
  • they’re standing there for a full hour because both james and lily are laughing their arses off trying to figure out the straps
  • lily got even more tangled 
  • neither of them cared because its hilarious
  • finally lily slid her arm through an opening in the straps and boom shes finally free
  • of that arm 
  • it only got worse from there
  • the second arm became so tangled that even lily’s extra arm couldn’t help free it
  • after another twenty minutes of the two of them cracking tf up trying to free her, lily got her other arm out
  • then it got hella awks bc shes just chilling with her dress half on 
  • she turned around to thank james thinking he’d be staring at her cleavage bc its Potter
  • but no 
  • he’s staring at her eyes bc they’re just so green
  • and when he told her that, she kissed him
  • that’s how peter, sirius, and remus found them
  • lily and james attached at the lips with lily wearing half a dress and james flushed and fully clothed with his cloak thrown over the back of the chair

that was the cutest fucking prompt ever thank you!!!!

my ask box is always open! || send me prompts!!

ok ok but this is what i want next season:

i want cas to touch dean to figure out who he loves - i dont care why he does it i just want him to fucking do it

and like. he just gets these wide eyes. and flies away. 

destiel is confirmed as canon because we all know what just happened 

and then i want some super hella awks conversation where cas tries to talk to dean about it and i dont even care what happens from there lol pls