this is gonna be a good fight

anonymous asked:

Hi so, you don't really have to do this, but I was wondering if you had any headcanons about Keith and pidge? Or maybe Shiro and Pidge (romantic or platonic) (this message took forever to type because my phone kept trying to autocorrect pidge to pigeon)

Keith and Pidge:

  • They send each other music they think they might like!
  • Keith helps Pidge learn how to fight better and use her size as an advantage in combat.
  • Keith is the only person Pidge can tolerate when she’s on her period because he sits with her and doesn’t talk.
  • They both love their pizzas extra cheesy and soaked in grease.
  • Pidge likes saying things to freak him out like “Dude, if you marry Allura you’re gonna be, like, king of the Alteans. Good luck with that.” Keith tells her to shut up… and then he doesn’t sleep for five days.
  • PIDGE HELPS KEITH TRACK DOWN HIS MOTHER BECAUSE SHE GETS IT.
  • Keith looks at Gunther. “…what’s wrong with your dog’s face?” Pidge snaps back “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE?!?!?!?!”

Shiro and Pidge:

  • Pidge is the only person who can tell when Shiro is drunk.
  • They have this uncanny ability to understand each other that only gets better with time. After a few years they can have entire conversations with glances and minor changes in facial expressions.
  • As Pidge works on Shiro’s arm, he asks her to leave her own mark to show that it’s not the Galra Empire’s arm anymore. She engraves a large flower into the inside of it.
  • Once, they fought over the 3DS and Colleen took it away from them.
  • They sometimes meditate together.
  • Neither of them know how to cook. Bless their hearts.
  • He lets her get away with waaaay more than she should.

anonymous asked:

Ut and uf main 4 plus mettaton react to being the only monster in the underground that their s/o is not afraid of

i’mm just gonna do uf bc i have Good Ideas for them - M.M.

Underfell-Sans:

Really? Well, that’s a first. He might be one of the weaker Monsters, but everyone still knows better than to pick a Fight with him. Not that you’re trying to Fight him, but it’s still a bit of a surprise. He might try to spook you once or twice, just to get your reaction, but other than that–eh. Ya win some, ya lose some.

Underfell-Papyrus:

He is. Insulted. Seriously?! He’s the most terrifying Monster in the Underground, & you’re not scared of him?! It’s inconceivable, unbelievable–he’s got to right this wrong!! Count on him to constantly try to scare you afterwards, with increasingly ridiculous results. No, Papyrus, a cape does not make you any scarier. You’re just fashionable, now.

Underfell-Undyne:

Oh, that’s not gonna work. She’s Captain of the Royal Guard, & has frightened even the King himself!! So–be scared, you little brat!! Be terrified!!! She goes a little overboard trying to scare you, going so far as to throw a few spears–only to realize that Actually This Isn’t So Bad. It’s nice to not have someone screaming in terror & cowering as soon as she steps foot in the room. Sorry for the spears, babe, she loves you.

Underfell-Alphys:

Doesn’t surprise her. She knows that physically she’s not the most intimidating, & her stutter gives less-than-intended results. But she can be pretty dark-mannered when she wants to, even when she doesn’t mean to be. That “fearlessness” of yours is going to waver sooner or later in her presence. They don’t call her the Royal Scientist for nothing, after all.

Underfell-Mettaton:

He’s equal parts happy, confused, & a little irritated. You’re serious? He’s a conglomeration of mismatched parts & weaponry. & you’re not scared of him? It’s befuddling. He just doesn’t get you, darling. But he’s relieved, too. You’re not scared of him. That means you trust him, & for that, he’s very thankful.

10

I like to think that Efi is a big fan of Lucio and also looks up to him as a role model since he’s not just an international music icon but also a freedom fighter that literally led an uprising to free his city. All before the age of 30.

Bonus art:

Mandatory group pic after meeting your favourite celebrity!

Our party—a bard, a fighter, and a ranger—were on a one-off side quest to deliver a letter to somebody. He wasn’t at his house (learned after breaking in, to the DM’s dismay), so we found out the general area he was in and went there, confusion in our wake and a spring in our steps. I, the bard, had decided that I would funnel every ounce of skill I possessed into charisma, and at level 5 had a +6 modifier. I had been using that power at every opportunity that arose. We wander through the foothills full of caves, looking for this guy, when our fighter rolls a nat 20 perception trying to look for any signs of life.

DM: You—okay, so. Yeah. With that, you actually notice about fifty feet away that a particular cluster of bushes is rustling just slightly, but not with the breeze.

Fighter: Oh. Cool. “Hey guys, I think there are some folks in those bushes over there.”

Me: “Cool beans! HELLOOOOOOO, MY DUDES!”

DM: There’s a few seconds of silence before four guys come slowly forward from the bushes. They look pretty rough and tough, and uh—

Ranger: Can I roll perception? Uh… that’s a 15.

DM: You deduce that they’re probably bandits or something. They’re walking forward and one of the guys says, “Who are you little pests, and what’re ya doing in these here foothills of ours?”

Me: “We’re just hanging out, traveling, and actually it seems like a good time to break for breakfast if you lovely gents would like to join us! I can brew us up some chamomile, I have like a thousand mushrooms I got earlier—”

Fighter: “I got that chicken, too, and jerky.”

Me: “Oh hell yeah, we’re gonna chow down if y'all want in on that action.”

DM: That’s, uh… that’s persuasion, advantage because you’re offering them food and seem too dumb to be dangerous.

Me: Thanks man. Uh… 14 total.

DM: *head in his hands* I just—okay, they join you for breakfast I guess. And yet again you avoid a fight I planned for you. One of the dudes breaks out some eggs from somewhere.

Ranger: What’re their names?

DM: Uh, uh, they—it’s got. There’s Bablo, Sanchez, Kent, and uh. Eskabar.

Me: Cool. I roll to flirt with them.

DM: ………<i>all of them???</i> I mean… sure?? I guess??

Me: Hells yeah. Rolling.

Proceeds to roll: 16, 19, and <i>two natural 20s</i>.

DM: *head on the table* Like. You—you make your fellow party members super uncomfortable. You are piled under boys, it’s kinda gross but super chill for you. Kent wasn’t super into the whole group thing before, but now he would straight up die for you. He’s learning a lot about himself today.

Me: I’m gonna write those names down for later. Can I put “a boys harem” in my items list?

100 Harry Potter Prompts: Part 1

This list is #$@&%*! amazing, amigos! Thanks for all the submissions. Here is part 1:

  1. Parseltongues aren’t the only ones who can talk to certain animals; There are a number of hereditary abilities that allow wizards to understand and communicate with other species. You are a young wizard who can understand birds, and it is driving you CRAZY.
  2. 10 years later, on the day of the battle of Hogwarts. George is standing in front of the mirror, looking himself in the eyes, wishing that his reflection was someone else.
  3. Harry Potter prompt: The Basilisk from the Chamber of Secrets is back! …but now it’s the size of a thread snake.
  4. A muggle angered by the fact that there are only 10 dragons in this world and 7 of them are European, sets off to find more dragons.
  5. Your entire family is full of Hufflepuffs, so during your sorting you begged the Sorting Hat to place you there. Now you’re older and definitely a Slytherin and you need to hide it.
  6. Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes has an adult section in the back.
  7. after Ron picks up the wrong hairs for a polyjuice potion Hermione is making, the two find themselves in each other’s bodies.
  8. You are the new heir of Slytherin, capable of opening the Chamber of Secrets and talking to snakes. On your first visit you find the monster dead. Not that you care, you never hated muggles anyway. Instead you start giving guided tours, charging a couple of Sickles for each tour, trying your best not to make the teachers notice.
  9. You’re a muggle born sorted into Slytherin of all places. The other students warn you that the Bloody Baron hates muggles, but to your surprise, the ghost has somewhat of a different view on muggleborns like you…
  10. Harry DOES get sorted into Slytherin when he asks not to be and becomes best friends with Draco as well.
  11. No one knew Voldemort was the last line of defence against them. Now he’s gone, and they are coming.
  12. Many years after the Dark Lord Voldemort was killed, a new dark lord has come. He’s part of the ministry and the new candidate for minister of magic..
  13. When Harry Potter dies in his first year at Hogwarts, Hermoine Granger takes on the duty of defeating the dark lord and succeeds in her task in the second year. The wizarding world is safe once again. Describe how she managed this.
  14. Write about Hermiones struggles and success as Minister of Magic.
  15. The dementors may suck the souls out of their victims with their kiss, but what happens to the soul after that?
  16. As a young gifted wizard, Sirius Black once found the Mirror of Erised; but what did he see as he glanced upon its glass?
  17. Hagrid comes every year to celebrate Harry’s birthday
  18. Harry never got a letter. He goes through his day to day life as a muggle, never noticing obnoxiously weird things around him. Write a day in the life of harry the muggle
  19. You’re invited to Tom riddle’s 6th birthday party
  20. Magical patronuses are extremely rare. It’s said that only the pure or the purely evil can conjure them. You’re a Slytherin trying to prove what they say about Slytherins is wrong. In Defence against dark arts, you just found out your patronus is a Hungarian horntail.
  21. “Don’t worry, Potter,” said the Dark Lord, “killing will get easier. And as my right hand man, you’ll need to get used to it.”
  22. Au where Snape is the chosen one and Harry is the Potions master
  23. In second year, Draco writes in the diary of Tom Riddle instead, and gets some pretty sound advice.
  24. “You went to school for seven years and THIS is what you use your skills on? Just- Just tell us why THIS branch of Animagi…?”
  25. Harry’s a girl, and has to deal with all the Voldemort shit when she has cramps so she’s extra pissed off.
  26. The Nimbus 3000 just came out, you are one galleon short but you desperately want it, how will you get your hands on the new broom?
  27. You somehow stumble into Filch’s office and grab the nearest artifact before you escape.
  28. Both Harry and Neville are the ‘chosen ones’. Only together are they able to defeat the Dark Lord. Unfortunately, everyone thinks only Harry is the ‘chosen one’. Follow Neville and co. as they discover the truth.
  29. Divination has a new muggle-born teacher, who seems more intent on teaching useful life lessons than magic.
  30. “You’re a wizard, Hermione.”
  31. “How many times have I told you to leave your dragons in Romania?!”
  32. “You’re a wizard, Harry.” “No shit!”
  33. All the Harry Potter character have switch roles, so that the heroes are now the villains. Who’s who and what happens?
  34. Mcgonagall, after noticing Harry’s letter is being ignored, goes to the Dursleys to check on the young wizard.
  35. Harry wonders what the fuck kinda school this is when Dumbledore says “ The third floor corridor is out of bounds for anyone that doesn’t want to die a most painful death.”
  36. Hermione Granger is one of those kids who is in classes meant for those a few years older than her, she is a genius.
  37. You are a muggle, yet direct magic doesn’t affect you, you wander into Hogwarts, you are not harmed by the shriek of mandrake plants, a basilisk cannot petrify you, magical devices break at your touch. you are a magic null.
  38. You thought you’d made a simple mistake in potions. As you sit outside the headmaster’s office, straining to hear the grave conversation from behind the door, it dawns on you that your error couldn’t have been as simple as it seemed.
  39. Harry goes on a journey of self-love by hiking around an Arby’s parking lot at 2am.
  40. The series is entirely the same but Voldemort and Snape have swapped noses .
  41. A day in the life of Dobby.
  42. Lucius is sacrificed by Voldemort and dies in the Wizarding War leaving pregnant Narcissa disillusioned and scared. She seeks help from Dumbledore and becomes a double agent.
  43. “Hmm, courage… yes… plenty of intelligence too! Very loyal… but crafty… hmm. Tricky, very tricky. I’m sorry, but you don’t seem to belong in any specific house. Better be… HOGWARTS!!!”
  44. Harry and Ron/Hermione and Ginny become the canon ships.
  45. Hermione and Ron visit America for a family vacation. Write about their adventures.
  46. Sassy harry calling Snape and Dumbledore out on their bullshit   24/7.
  47. Ravenclaws have a chamber of secrets, but it’s just a library of infinite knowledge too nerdy to touch.
  48. Post-apocalyptic Draco and Harry, where Draco needs the help of Harry in order for both of them to survive.
  49. You thought you were a muggle-born witch/wizard and then you find one of your long before ancestors in the portraits of the school’s corridors.
  50. You can do magic without a wand. You are the second most wanted after Voldemort.
  51. Disco balls and disco and lgbt folks at Hogwarts
  52. A student is accepted into Hogwarts only to find out it was a mistake and they don’t actually have any magical abilities. Tell their story of trying to make it through Hogwarts after all these years.
  53. Remus Lupin adopts Harry.  He never lived with the Dursleys. Tell us his happy Wizarding Childhood.
  54. You’re a historian writing a critical paper on The Battle Of Hogwarts. You believe the existing discourse has ignored the significance of one woman: Mrs Norris. Write a paper discussing her much-maligned role in the Battle of Hogwarts.
  55. A story about the lonely, never-useful life of Snape’s shampoo bottle.
  56. Rumour has it the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher has already arrived and is hiding. Whoever finds them gets 500 points for their house.
  57. write the wizarding sex ed pamphlet that gets handed out to fifth years.
  58. everything’s the same except every character is a lizard.
  59. Describe the three trials in the next Triwizard Tournament.
  60. “Nobody knew about the fifth Hogwarts founder, and the secret they hid in the castle… until now”
  61. Minerva McGonagall is quite puzzled by Dumbledore’s recent hires for Defense Against the Dark Arts, and would like to have a serious talk with him about it.
  62. You decide to try flying on a broom just for shits and giggles. It works, and now you need help. A lot of help.
  63. The previous magical protection of the prime minister has been retired. You have taken their place.
  64. The Wizarding World decided it’s time to explore space.
  65. Doleres Umbridge is now the head teacher of Hogwarts and president Snow form panel is the minister for magic. They have reinvented the triwizard tournament to have aspects of the hunger games. Tell the story of this year’s tributes.
  66. “When I wished to be part of the world of Harry Potter, I was hoping for an acceptance letter to Hogwarts, not for the bridge I was crossing to be demolished by death eaters on my way home from work!”
  67. You are a squib from a long line of witches and wizards who has never made any contact with the Muggle world. Today is your first day of high school.
  68. Hermione blinked. “You’re right, Ron. I’ve been doing it wrong all this time.”
  69. Through a series of events, you land yourself in the world of Harry Potter. The catch? You’ve never read a word from the books and have absolutely no clue what’s going on.
  70. The entire series but everyone is emo as hell.
  71. You are Harry Potter’s less famous twin sibling. All you want is a quiet wizarding school life.
  72. Write the science behind magic.
  73. You are in the infamous library where no books have titles. Somehow, you pick up Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. You want to help in any way you can.
  74. “The wand chooses the wizard” except this time three have chosen the same master. And they’re attempting to duel each other.
  75. Re-write one of the quidditch chapters from the perspective of the snitch.
  76. Harry being raised by Sirius and Remus because they actually caught Wormtail
  77. Dumbledore reads My Immortal and thinks it’s really good.
  78. “The Death Eaters stole this from the Muggles. What is it, Hermione?” “Ron, I…I think it’s a Nuke.”  "WICKED! Dad’s gonna love this!“
  79. Draco and Ron get in a wizard’s fight; Harry has to reveal his love for Draco by protecting him.
  80. While looking through Filch’s files of rescinded objects, you find something extremely dangerous. Just as you put it in your pocket for later investigation, you get caught by Peeves the poltergeist.
  81. A deaf Ravenclaw, a disabled Slytherin, a mute Gryffindor, and a black trans Hufflepuff help together to cope with each other’s’ problems.
  82. You’ve just received a Howler in front of the whole school. What does it say and how does the school react?
  83. A very derpy Dementor who doesn’t even try and suck souls, but just wants to be friends with everyone and gets sad easily so everyone has to cheer it up.
  84. As it turns out, Neville is the strongest wizard of all.
  85. Write a love story about Dumbledore and Grindelwald.
  86. Your boggart and your reflection in the Mirror of Erised show the same thing.
  87. Who maintains the enchanted ceiling at Hogwarts? How did they get the job and what’s their life like?
  88. Finally, Hogwarts gets its Wi-Fi hotspot.
  89. After a traumatising first year at Hogwarts, Ginny Weasley has to learn to deal with the long-term psychological effects of having been possessed by a dark wizard.
  90. Someone didn’t focus enough when trying to apparate somewhere and somehow wound up on Mars.
  91. You show someone the Mirror of Erised for the first time. You ask what they see, and they just look at you strangely. “What? Did you forget how mirrors work? I just see us.”
  92. A story written from the perspective of a student who died in the battle of Hogwarts, and is now a ghost there.
  93. Hogwarts wants to open a school in another part of the world.
  94. It’s been a hundred years, or so, and you’re still stuck in this dusty, shabby place. As a wand, it would be nice if you could finally choose the perfect wizard to wield you.
  95. You hide pictures of Voldemort in most  unusual places to freak other students out
  96. AU where all spells are imaginary. They’re basically running around with sticks yelling nonsense.
  97. The DA learned their most important lesson from Hermione - always bring a gun to a wand fight.
  98. Write about the day the magical world discovered internet (and proceeded to make their own WizNet)
  99. Harry Potter where Harry’s dad survived but is left emotionally destroyed by Voldemort’s attack.
  100. Harry Potter lowers his wand at himself. He swore he would rid the world of Horcruxes. He was about to make good on that promise.

 Let’s make a new list right away. Do you have a prompt for us?

the best cure for being miserable is the misery of someone you hate. or puppies.

“Captain America Fitness Challenge” um I need to know more???

  • is this like……. Standard Curriculum™ that every highschooler has to do?
  • or is peter’s phys ed teacher just That Cool that he brings in this stuff in a last ditch effort to get the kids to actually participate
  • how does it compare to the pacer test
  • what does it involve?? Does it actually have anything to do with the way cap fights
  • or, in other words, is there a frisbee involved
  • if it is based off his fighting style how many children need to get injured before the school drops the vid
  • is there one… for every avenger ??
  • or was Steve just deemed the Wholesome One
  • why is it still being used after he became an international fugitive and all that isn’t all that shit like Not A Good Example
  • and is that actually steve who filmed it or a look alike
  • I’m gonna assume it’s steve bc that makes it much funnier
  • how many of these… have been made
  • is there a whole series?
  • so
  • many
  • questions
I roll to pet the dog.

DM: okay, so, Spoons (the party’s bard) is up first. the dog is charging at you. Natalia (the lady we were fighting) is seeming to charge some sort of magic. what are you gonna do?

bard, OOC: i’m gonna do this. -plays the kazoo to cast speak with animals-

DM: you can communicate now, it’s like

DM, as dog: give her the fucking book. I’m an angry dog.

bard: why are you so angry?

the dog explains why he is so angry.

bard: I mean…I think I know what can solve that. how ‘bout a tummy rub?

DM, as dog: gonna have to roll a nat 20 on persuasion my dude.

bard, OOC: aww a nat 20? come on!

-proceeds to roll a nat 20-

bard, OOC: oH MY FUCK -the sounds of hyperventilating-

some disbelief and one screenshot later:

DM: -whispers- what the fuck.

bard, OOC: I’m gonna pet the FUCK out of that dog.

DM, still in disbelief: the dog…is a pacifist now. you get to pet it. it walks away. he slinks away into the shadows.

bard, OOC: no! first I’m gonna tell him he’s a good boy!

the DM then proceeds to make dog noises for the bard as the dog is pet and praised, and the party has one less enemy to fight.

bad times with adhd:

  • cant read
  • can read, but cant comprehend what ur reading
  • boredom more like Time To Suffer
  • rsd
  • u wanna watch a video thats any amount of time??? thats too long, even if the video is like 10 seconds
  • becoming too aware of how things feel or how u do certain things or just regular bodily functions like breathing or blinking
  • staying up until 4 AM or later for no reason aside from adhd said so
  • that sinking feeling when u realized uve spaced out for most of a conversation and u feel too bad abt doing it to ask the person to repeat what they said 
  • overstimulation
  • meltdowns
  • when u have the motivation to get shit done, but executive dysfunction is like “lmfao nope”
  • trying to get certain stuff done and ur managing ok, but u still get distracted on occasion and u scold urself every time u do but u cant stop urself from doing it
  • the antsy anxiousness that comes with being confined to doing smth for too long
  • “i hope i remember this” u didnt remember it
  • outbursts which cause u to snap at ppl and then u feel bad but u couldnt help it
  • no volume control so ur constantly told to stop yelling but u cant make ur voice quieter 
  • *someone explains instructions and its a rather simple thing* “ok got it” u dont got it
  • getting irrationally irritated over the smallest shit but u cant help it everything is just So Frustrating 
  • “u know what i think im having a good day” and then mood swing that makes u either Super Sad or Super Mad for no reason
  • having what ur gonna say right in ur head but somehow u still space out in the middle of talking and forget what u wanted to say
  • forgetting why u were upset but still feeling upset
  • the sinking feeling of remembering why u were upset and now ur even more upset
  • when rsd is being extremely irrational and u know its bullshit but u dont have the energy to fight it so u just sit there in sadness
  • when rsd makes u self conscious abt stimming in public
  • having absolutely no time perception at all. what even is time ive never heard of that in my life
  • needing to get smth done and u manage to focus, but ur focusing on the wrong thing
  • overanalyzing past stuff thats happened and realizing other shit u couldve said that wouldve helped the situation and damn why didnt u think of that when u were in the situation
  • this is long i should stop now

we all know victuuri are yuri’s dads but the family is much larger than that listen here:

big sis mila

  • suggested beating a kid for making yuri drop his ice cream
  • “cant go out because of homework?…please tell me you didnt just say that”
  • teached yuri how to cheat in class
  • “dont tell lilia”

grandpa yakov

  • gives yuri some money every time he wins something or gets a good grade
  • “how old are you again”
  • in constant competition with yuri’s grandpa
  • “did victor do something dumb again”

big bro-tabek

  • taught yuri how to ride a bike
  • “no you cant kick someone because they said cats suc- mila stop encouraging him
  • “can you make a remix of never gonna give you up with victor’s voice”
  • yuri tried to get victor to adopt otabek at least five times

vodka uncle chris

  • gives great advice but only when tipsy
  • gets in fights with his boyfriend and asks yuri who’s right
  • bonding over cats
  • “wanna see my album of embarassing young victor pics?” “hell yes”

Lance: Hey, have you guys noticed how every Galra we meet has the same like, head ridge thing? Like a mohawk except it’s their skull or exoskeleton or whatever

Hunk: I honestly hadn’t really noticed, but now I’m gonna spend the rest of my life looking for it, so thanks for that Lance

Lance: I’m just fighting the good fight my guy. But anyway, my point was- Keith, do you think you also have something like that?

Keith: No?? I mean, you’d be able to see it, right? If there was… (voice trailing off) nothing in…

Lance: (triumphantly) Exactly! Keith, your weird mullet is covering it up!

Keith: (nonchalantly begins to frantically pat top of head) I. What? No, no there’s no way. You guys are being ridiculous. (dodges Hunk’s hands) Stop touching my hair!

Pidge: There’s only one way to find out for certain. I’ll get the razor.

Keith, immediately: You are not shaving my h-

Lance: (stands on the couch in a victory pose) HASTA LA LATER, MULLET

So like, what if Blue gets electrocuted when Lance is inside it? And Lance is in the pods for SO LONG, it’s worrying everyone sick, because his vitals are perfect, everything is good as new, but the pod is still keeping him in, tryna fix something, but they have no idea what? Eventually, they let him out, because without Voltron there’s gonna be blood shed (and with Coran in the infirmary, Allura can’t fly Blue AND the Castle at the same time). So Lance comes out, everything is fine, blah blah blah.

But then on one mission he’s in some hand on hand fighting, THIS close to being hurt. He puts his hand up as he’s crumpled on the floor, ready for the impact.

It never comes.

When he looks up, the Galra fighter is… frozen? And his hands, they’re so, so cold. They’re… icy.

Lance got Blues powers in the accident, that’s why he was in the pod so long.

But then Hunk runs over, along with the rest of the team, and wraps him in a hug (Or Keith, I wouldn’t be opposed to that) As Lance’s hands touch Hunk’s back, the bigger boy drops him in shock.

Ice is forming on the back of his uniform where Lance’s fingers grazed the metal, and he can feel the cold through the suit.

Lance can’t touch anyone without special gloves covering his hands, and they take weeks for Pidge to make (they are fighting in a massive fucking war after all).

Fun addition: Just imagine how bad that gets when he has an anxiety attack and there’s no one to calm him down

Jack Zimmermann was accustomed to dealing with difficult situations; he was captain of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team after all, but this? This was never in the job description.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Bitty whispered into the side of Jack’s neck, breath hot and sweet against his skin. The kegster ended a while ago but Bitty was still feeling the effects. When he fell off the coffee table attempting to dance to All the Single Ladies, Jack swept in ready to piggyback him to bed.

“Alright,” Jack said, mouthing I got this in Lardo’s direction before heading to the stairs.

“I don’t wanna be a single lady anymore,” His voice faltered and Jack became acutely aware of Bitty’s thighs around his hips. “I want a person. Everybody else has got a person.”

“With moves like that I don’t think you’ll have to wait long,” Jack said, supressing a chuckle.

“Mmhmm,” Bitty mumbled, fighting a losing war against sleep. Jack pushed open the door to Bitty’s room with his foot and ducked inside.

Keep reading

Pre-Kerberos! Matt HC

[Pre-Kerberos! Matt]

★ Matt is the whitest of the whites, he eats one hot chip and it’s game over.

★ He’s allergic to pickles

★ He got Katie into aliens and cryptids

  • He doesn’t regret it                                                                             

★ Him and Shiro were friends, even before the Garrison.

★ He’s a little shit, the Garrison teachers expected him to be the perfect student since he was Sam and Colleen’s son.

  • They were wrong, he started a black market and wasn’t found out until it was too late. He made more than $500 bucks cash.

★ Whenever he was called into the office to talk about his future he just answered with “Kick ass, go to space, represent the human race.”

The cost of losing a bet with him was high

  • Once a kid had to go up to Iverson and ask if he was a furry and if his boyfriend was bigfoot.
  • They were required to help Iverson for the rest of the year during their free hour.

★ Anytime anyone asked if him and Shiro were dating, he did finger guns and awkwardly backed away.

★ Has been the cause of the science lab blowing up at least 5 times.

  • Shiro was apart of three of them.

★ Puns were his shit no one could escape

  • Shiro does this make us…..Kerbros?”
  • “If it weren’t for the laws of this land, I would’ve slaughtered you, Matt.”

★ Would fight you if you said Pluto wasn’t a planet

★ Is the most oblivious of people, two kids had a crush on him at the same time and he never noticed

  • But he can somehow notice when people have crushes on each other??

★ He met Neil Degrasse Tyson once and cried

★ Katie and him show their love by roasting each other on the daily

★ “I know you love those peas, Dad.” was only the tip of the Yikesburg™ .

★ He dyed Shiro’s hair once

  • It went as well as expected
  • It was neon blue

★ He smuggled Pidge into the Garrison once with the help of Shiro

  • Keith found them dragging her through the window
  • He just stared silently and walked away

★ He can do a perfect Yoda impression

  • Katie sadly found out when she on the verge of sleep at 3am

★ Subs always liked him for some reason, no one really knew how or why though.

★ He could name all 206 bones in the human body, and he taught Keith how to break every one of them

★ Katie popped out the lens in his back-up prescription glasses

  • He cried

★ He can quote back to the future word for word

★ “What are you gonna do punch me???”

  • The kid decked him
  • He broke their leg

★ He threatened to sell Katie to the Garrison for a pizza

  • A guy’s gotta do what they gotta do to get some decent food

★ “How’d you do in your flight test, Matt?” “Oh, I nearly killed Shiro. it’s chill though.”

★ He cries whenever he sees dogs since the Garrison is in the middle of nowhere

  • He once cried for more dog deaths in three school days than his entire life

★ “Hey Matt, high-five the stars for me okay?” “Of course, Katie.”

  • She hasn’t found out if he did or not.

★ It was his idea to name their dog Gunther

  • “What the fuck, Matt” “It haS CHARACTER KATIE”

★ Him and his mom are kickass together.

  • Everyone is low-key terrified of them

★ He crashed his bike into a tree once

  • “Lol you guys will never guess what happened”
  • “What”
  • “My bone is no longer in my leg”

★ “Do you think Iverson and—” “I’m gonna stop you right there.”

★ He hacked the speakers in the Garrison to play Bill Nye the Science Guy when someone said he wasn’t a real scientist

★ Believes in the multiverse theory and soulmates

  • Maybe in some other universe him and Shiro are happy

★ He’s pan and poly, fight me   

  • Katie got him a shirt that read “Pans for Bigfoot”    
  • He wore it everywhere

★ He finished the office in a week and stares at a security camera whenever something stupid happens

★ Someone confessed to him once and he panicked and said “Thank you”

★ Matt is actually a super good crossdresser???

  • Shiro and Keith are surprised???
  • Katie had to get it from somewhere y’all

★ Lowkey likes to make fun of Keith for being Texan

  • “Y’all’d’ve done good if y’all had listened to me.”
  •  “I hate living because of you, Matt.”

★ Bill Nye the Science Guy is his dad and you can’t tell him otherwise.

  • He’ll fight you if you say he isn’t a real Scientist

★ MATT REALLY LIKES AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER, LIKE I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN IT BUT I KNOW HE DOES.

★ Him and Katie learned Latin for kicks

★ Speaks fluent meme

★ **Drops one piece of candy on his room floor** “,,,,,,,,” **Kneels down to look for it**

★ 10/10 doesn’t know how to handle any crushes he has

  • He realized he had a crush on Shiro with the “help” of Katie and Keith
  • He tried to eat an entire jar of pickles afterwards

★ “Matt, you have a crush on my brother, admit it” “New glasses, who dis?”

★ “Shiro, when I was your age,,,,,,” “One day, you’re just not going to wake up.”

★ He somehow convinced Shiro to dress up as Watson while he was Sherlock

★ Hamilton’s number 1 fan

★ He spits out facts at random

  • “Y’know Alexander Hamilton spelt Philadelphia wrong in our Constitution?” 
  • Katie, who has been running on 3 hours of sleep: please shut tf up

★ “You’re a little shit Matt” “Atleast I don’t quote Fairy Tail any chance i get”

★ Matt: THIS BITCH EMPTY 
★ Katie, grabbing his backpack full of assignments from the Garrison: Y E E T

★ He hates coffee but will drink 5 cans of soda in an hour

★ “YOOOOO I TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY WANT” “SO TELL ME WANT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT” “I WANNA–”

  • Sam Holt voice: Please,,,,just go to sleep”

★ He’s a Gryffindor

★ Someone bet him that he couldn’t eat 2 of the new Grand Macs

  • He ate 4, Katie ate 5
  • Everyone was impressed and low-key terrified

★ Shiro: bro take off your glasses
★ Matt: bro everything’s a blur
★ Shiro: that’s my life without you
 Matt, tearfully: Bro… 

Iverson: any questions?
Matt: Yeah, first of all, how dare you?

★ “Would you slap Katie for $2,000?” “I’d break both of Katie’s arms and my own leg for a small fry from McDonald's”

★ Shiro gave him one of his sweaters when it was cold out once

  • Shiro hasn’t seen it since

★ He had an emo phase that lasted 2 months before he got tired of the eyeliner

  • Katie likes to bring it up at the worst times

He’s covered in bandaids 90% of the time

  • Most times it’s because he and Katie were fucking around while building smth

★ “The amount of uses for a dead horse is infinite” “Matt, honestly, just go to church”

★ His mind is just a constant loop of that scene in VeggieTales where the realized they didn’t have hands and just sadly looked at each other

★ “KATIE POKEMON PIDGEOTTO HOLT

★ Mashed potatoes can and should fuck him up

★ Learned to play the kazoo for meme opportunity

★ Once burnt off one of his eyebrows from boiling water

★ Him and Katie do the handshake thing from Zack and Cody

★ Whenever someone asks to see a picture of Katie, he just pulls out a picture of Pidgey from Pokémon

  • Matt: Isn’t she pretty?

★ He beat every island in poptropica

★ He can make really nice flower crowns nobody has questioned it

★ He talks with his hands a lot

  • He’s hit Keith in the face more than once because of it

★ You know when it snowed in Egypt for the first time in years and that guy had that giant ass snowball and was gonna fucking dunk it on his friend?

  • That’s Matt

★ He can dance?? Where did he learn it? Nobody knows

★ “Keith I came as soon as i heard! I can’t believe it I knew you two were close”
★“Wtf are you talking about?”
★“Punk is dead, Keith”

★ When the rumour that MCR was coming back you bet your ass Matt was ready to blast every song whenever he saw Keith

★ “I’m Matt, the radar technician”

★ He recreated BB-8 from Star Wars: The Force Awakens and cried

★ “Bitch, I am a gift of God, square up”

  • Get it? Because Matthew means gift of God??

★ He can solve a rubix cube behind his back in under 35 seconds

★ If he laughs hard enough he’ll start snorting

  • 50% of the time he won’t notice because he’s too busy laughing
  • The other 50% he’ll stop and frown in disgust at his own snort

★ He found out Shiro poured his milk in before the cereal and kicked him out their dorm

Matt: Hey, Shiro, want to stay for dinner?
Colleen: Do you want to stay forever?

★ Iverson lowkey reminds him of Snape, so by default he just doesn’t like him

★ “Work, work!” “Matthew!”
    “Work, work!” “Katherine!”
    “,,,,,and Keith”
    “The conspiracy theorists!”

★ Unlike his sister, he likes to garden and starts one in their backyard with their mom

★ Matt would totally force Shiro to cosplay Team Rocket for Halloween with Pidge being Meowth and Keith being an edgier version of Ash Ketchum

  • Shiro as Jessie and Matt as James of course

★ He owns every pokemon game in existence

  • Pokemon Snap was his shit when he was like 7
  • He 360 noscoped the Pokemon with apples

★ Has read all of the Harry Potter books three times

★ He tried to teach Shiro how to dance

  • They never finished though because neither of them could take the sexual tension

★ He was more into the galaxies and multiple universes part of space, while Katie was excited for the tech advances 

  • They were both 100% ready for aliens though

★ Shiro told him he couldn’t create the Marauders Map, so he did out of spite

★ Talked in nothing but Shakespeare for a day to piss off Katie

★ He loved ducktales

  • Too bad he can’t see the reboot

★ Barbie and the 12 dancing princesses was his shit

★ When Katie was born, he brought a potato with him when he went to the hospital to compare the two

★ He always wore sweaters that didn’t quite fit him, so he could have Sweater Paws

★ There was a supposed ‘haunted’ house on his street, so him Katie and the Broganes all snuck out to investigate

  • A window broke while they were in there
  • Keith shapeshifted into Sonic and bolted, Katie started hysterically crying and laughing at the same time as she ran, and Matt jumped into Shiro’s arm and Shiro fuckin’ booked it
  • They all agreed not to talk about it

★ Once in gym, a ball was about to hit someone in the face but instead of yelling “duck!” he yelled “dICK”

  • To this day no one has let him live it down

★ Uses an absurd amount of emoticons when texting

★ 10/10 would meme again

★ Used the word “Yo” too many times to count

★ Tried to bury Katie underneath a bunch of snow when she was 10

★ He can’t swim

★ He’s cried during nearly every Disney and Pixar movie


[Read Part Two// Post-Kerberos! Matt HC here!]

rhodey is the cutest person i can’t believe this,,, saying “boom” when something goes his way…Dad Jokes™… being So Into Being War Machine oh my god literally every one-liner rhodey has is life-changing i can’t believe how good he is??? “welcome to the dance floor, boys. oh no, i didn’t say you could leave” “I think it’s weird. you look like two seals fighting over a grape” “you look damn good mr president but i’m gonna need that suit back” WAR MACHINE,,,COMIN AT U,,, “no, it’s your fault, I just wanted to say I’m sorry”

he adapts so quickly to ridiculous situations he’s brave and resilient and selfless and incredible and his password is WARMACHINEROX with an x all caps what a giant dork i love him @ marvel where the fuck is my war machine movie

Top 9 Most Fight-Able Characters in Mystic Messenger

(ranked by the likelihood of winning from least to most likely)

9. “Mary” Vanderwood, Secret Agent Murdermonster

Result: A swift and painful death

Are you shitting me? You’ll be goddamn eviscerated on the spot. Not to mention nobody will ever find your body. This is completely fucking unadvisable. DO NOT DO THIS unless you have a DEATH WISH and want to disappear from the world completely. Vanderwood is not to be messed with. They’ve killed many a worthy foe, and you will not be one of them. There’s not much else to say here. I don’t care who you are, you should not challenge Vanderwood. Say your prayers, fucker

8. Unknown/Saeran Choi, Total Edgelord

Result: Utter defeat, probably followed by torture + imprisonment

I don’t think you need me to tell you that this kid is fucking off his rocker. Let’s be real, he’s probably killed a few people, and he enjoyed every minute of it. You can bet your ass he’ll likely torture you after defeating you, too. And you know, some of you sick fucks will probably enjoy the whole damn ordeal. You’re probably the only ones who’d WANT to fight him just to have him fucking step on you. Well congratu-fucking-lations, you got what you wanted. He still beats your ass. The only reason Vanderwood beats him in this ranking is because it’s possible he’d keep you alive for fun, and some of you would enjoy that, so at least it’s a fuckin victory for somebody. Fuck.

7. Jaehee Kang, Smarter than the CEO

Result: Total annihilation + jail time

Do you see this face? This is the face of someone who has been repressing violent urges for fucking years for the sake of keeping her job. If she could snap Jumin’s neck, she would in a heartbeat. You do not want to give her a justifiable reason to unleash that utter fucking rage on your sorry ass. Did you forget she has a black belt in judo? She could beat my ass. She could beat your ass. She could beat anyone’s ass. I don’t care WHO you think you are. And after the fight? She’ll report you to the proper authorities, pick up a cup of coffee, and finish her daily tasks like nothing fucking happened. What a wild bitch. I fucking love her to death, tbh. And you know what? How dare you challenge her. She deals with enough shit in her life. I hope she beats your ass with a righteous fucking fury. Have fun in jail, dipshit.

6. God 707, Meme Lord Supreme

Result: Depends on your approach, but probably a failure

Honestly Seven’s about as fucking predictable as a lunch box full of wasps. What am I even supposed to say here? He’d probably imitate that shitty ass vine meme the first time you punch him and say “I can’t believe you’ve done this”, complete with a British accent, but when you keep hitting, it’ll confuse him. The element of surprise is probably your best bet, but you also have no fucking clue what he’ll do. He might beat the shit out of you. He might scamper away on his scrawny ass legs and proceed to hack into everything you once loved or held dear. He might lay down on the ground and let you kick the shit out of him. In the end, it depends on his mood. Is that reliable at all? Absolutely fucking not. So go for it, but I literally have no idea how it’s gonna turn out for you.

5. Zen/Hyun Ryu, A God Among Men

Result: You have a good chance of winning, but at what cost?

OK BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR MIND LISTEN THE FUCK UP. Why is Zen higher up on the list, Nani??? you ask me, pouting, clutching your Zen body pillow(s) in agony. Zen had a bad past!! He’s not easy to fight, he was such a bad boy!! v//w//v He’s so tough and strong and he’s our knight in shining armor! Hey!! Good for you! But GUESS FUCKING WHAT!! If you’re female, he’ll probably forfeit to you immediately, unlike the barbarians before him on this list, so technically he’s easier to fight! He’d probably LET you beat the shit out of him if it made you feel better. It’s not even a fucking question of who would win if a woman challenged him, so we’re gonna move on.
Now, if you’re a GUY, he’d be more willing to square up, and my advice is go for his face. Pretty boy doesn’t like messing up his pretty mug, and if you play dirty, he’ll get scared real quick. His ponytail is a disadvantage for him, so yank it real hard. You have a better chance of beating him with perseverance, but if you let him get the upper hand, you’re deceased because he’s probably a heavy hitter. Also, you will incur the wrath of all his fangirls, and probably the angels above, and you will spend the rest of your life MISERABLE AND CURSED, so proceed with caution. If you can get away with it without anyone knowing your identity, you’re golden. Good luck, but also, why? do you even want to??

4. Jumin Han, Mistah Trussfund Kid (The CEO)

Result: Instant win, but your life will be RUINED

Honestly, I think certain RFA members would actually be very glad if someone handed Jumin’s ass to him, but good fucking luck accomplishing that without having your entire life destroyed. On a purely physical level, Jumin is no competition. He may be the tallest motherfucker around, but he’s never fought anyone before in his LIFE. You’d probably only have an issue here if you were short as shit, and even then, go for the knees, amirite? He’ll fall like a fucking oak tree, and then you can rip him a new one while he’s down. Easy peasy, right? WRONG. He’s got a horde of like 50 bodyguards that you have to sneak past or defeat first or something. And if you somehow make it to Jumin first, they’ll swarm your ass after you first start swinging and have you incapacitated in a few seconds. Are those first few swings worth it? Maybe. But he’s gonna sue your ass for everything you own. The whole world will know your name. If you don’t get jail time, you’ll wish you had. It will be an easier life than trying to live in the public. Zen and Jaehee might love you forever, though, so maybe they can pull a few favors for ya. You better pray they do. Good fuckin luck out there, champ.

3. Yoosung Kim, Small Child

Result: Victory, but with a catch

Look into this child’s eyes. Look me in the eyes. Tell me that Yoosung isn’t a fucking pansy. You can’t, can you? It’s because Yoosung is a fucking pansy. This kid would be down for the count after exactly one (1) punch. He might enjoy it a little too, which’ll be awkward as shit for both of you. HOWEVER. If you trigger his Yandere side, which is bullshit but whatever, he might put up more of a fight. How do you do this, you may ask? Insult Rika. or MC. (Probably Rika tho). Something inside him will snap, and then he’ll be trickier to handle. He’ll probably play dirty when he’s like this, so expect to get shanked or bitten or something. It doesn’t change the fact that his scrawny ass can’t fight for shit, so you’ll still probably win, but not without a few injuries yourself. Hurting Yoosung is probably the moral equivalent to kicking a puppy. If you can be ok with yourself after that, then I mean, go for it.

2. Rika, the Antichrist

Result: Certain victory, but extremely dangerous

Look, maybe I should’ve put her lower on the list considering she’s got an entire cult following her every order. But, honest to God, you would be morally obligated to fight her. Please beat the shit out of her. Physically, her scrawny ass could do nothing to stop you. She’s ruined the lives of her friends, as well as countless other people, because of her deranged and, quite frankly, selfish desires. Basically, she’s a little bitch. I don’t know how you’ll do it, but god damn, you’ll be everyone’s hero. The downside to this is that she might sick Saeran on you, which is gonna be a pain in your ass, and Yoosung might hate you forever, but I think you can live with that, right? Do us all a favor. Fight Rika.

1. Jihyun Kim/V, aka Flower Angel Sunshine Man

Result: Total Victory, but you’re basically Satan

BEFORE YOU SEND ME ANON HATE, REMEMBER: this is a list based on how likely you are to win. And V? V would let anyone beat him. He probably thinks he deserves it. He might defend himself a little, but he couldn’t bring himself to hurt you. Your victory would be almost immediate. There is no catch to V. You’d just win. But you’re a fucking monster for it. And you know what? I’ll beat the shit out of you if you hurt this man. So don’t even think about it, asshole.