this is going to make its way on my body

10

Daisy Johnson in Agents of SHIELD: ‘Farewell, Cruel World!’

Here’s the thing.

I am a transgender man (see photo of my mug for context).

I love all trans people and I love non binary people. But lately some of my trans spaces (both on the web and irl) that are mainly non binary have started to feel a little hostile.

I want to make something perfectly clear before I continue - I love and respect non binary people, I think their genders are valid and I am in no way suggesting they are any less important that myself or any other binary trans person. I also need you to understand that this isn’t meant to be a post calling out non binary people at all, it is just me talking about my personal experiences in the hope that it can get people to be a little more considerate sometimes?

In university spaces, it seems that there is a growing population of non binary people that tends to dominate trans groups. Which is good in lots of ways, especially since it shows how this generation has become much more relaxed and aware that gender is a construct and fluidity is key. However, amongst people I know there is a lot of ‘ew gross men’, or 'ew gross trans men that are masculine’, while at the same time being predominantly DFAB populations.

Now trust me, I very much understand the dislike a lot of dfab trans people have of men. A lot of us are survivors and I think that does play a big part in how we feel about the gender overall. Not to mention it is not uncommon for men to be, for lack of a better word- wankers. However, I don’t think people consider trans men when we are talking about this.

Making a comment like 'ew men are so fucking gross’ to a room of trans people means that to a trans man you are saying one of two things - 1) you are gross, or 2) you aren’t gross because you’re not a Real Man, and you are excluded from this statement because you are and always will be, partly a woman. Even now I feel uncomfortable 'complaining’ about this. I have to remind myself that just as suggesting that a trans woman is somehow different to other women would be considered incredibly offensive, so is it for trans men.

I didn’t realise how much this stuff affected me until it did. Constantly being around people that talk about, how body hair on men is gross, masculinity is by default toxic, making jokes about my masculinity being toxic when I excitedly tell people that I’ve started going to the gym and its making me feel better about my body. No, it’s not funny. It’s MY dysphoria I’m trying to ease. I as a trans person want to feel supported and loved when I do things that have a chance of making me feel good about my body.

It hit me like a brick wall when I realised how much it had affected me. I was with my partner, and was trying to have sex, but I just broke down. I felt so incredibly disgusted with my body and myself. So much hair, so masculine. The noises I made, gross. The way I touched him, creepy. I couldn’t get out of my head the idea that later in life he would talk to people about how gross and unshaven I was, just like I had heard friends describe ex boyfriends so many times before.

I felt cheated because these were the changes I WANTED my body to make. But now they felt ruined. Spoiled.
It was after that realisation that I decided I had to get out. I stopped going to some of student socials and instead started attending a group for older trans people. It was so refreshing to meet other trans men for once (just because I rarely meet them at uni, and it was nice to talk to someone similar.) It was awesome to be around people who weren’t shitty about trans people being stealth (as I remember I once was.)

There are some important things to take away from all of this:

1) Telling trans boys and men that they are disgusting for wanting to be like men will only destroy self esteem and feed into the toxic environment that a lot of cis boys grow up in.

2) Non binary people are extremely valid and awesome, but also must accept they have a responsibility to cultivate a supportive and friendly atmosphere in spaces where they are dominant (I put this in here for university spaces especially)

3) Laughing at a trans man/woman for being excessively masc/fem presenting if you are a dfab nb person who mainly presents as fem or androgynous is facetious and not respecting that they may have to present that way to stay safe, (especially in the case of trans women that may be more 'obviously trans’) and that despite suffering prejudice in many ways, the one thing you are not realistically facing is street violence and such because you inevitably are not going to be clocked as trans. (which yes, does NOT make your transness invalid but we have to respect the different struggles people in our community face.)

4) Someone being stealth does not mean they are adhering to 'toxic gender roles’. It means they are either 1) trying to be safe or 2) surprise surprise they want to live their life as the gender they identify with. Trans people are not less legitimately trans because you think they are 'acting cis’.

5) Being a binary trans person does not give you privilege over nb people. Like seriously, trans women are literally the most likely to be murdered. Don’t be a dick. Erasure is a problem yes but it’s not the same. I read names out at the TDOR vigil and pretty much all of them were trans women of colour. Respect that. Help the community. This isn’t about scoring points over who has it the shittiest.

6) The idea that the only good kinda of trans men are 'soft sensitive kinda trans masc guys that don’t have surgeries and shave all their body hair’ is shitty and offensive (tho that kind of trans man is totally valid, that not what i mean). Its shitty because one you’re sexualising them either as more childlike or more feminine (both is rude, former is creepy), but its perpetuating the idea that trans men aren’t really men and the best ones are the ones that YOU think still kinda look suitably enough like women.

Lover Boy | Jeff Atkins

Requested by @cra-zy-vib-ess14 this one is for you! I had a lot of fun doing this and it came pretty naturally that I even wrote it the same day I got the requested, you lucky duck haha! Anyway I hope you enjoy, and everyone else who reads this! Don’t be afraid to request something yourself but be aware writing takes time and you may not get your request answered asap. Thank you for reading and enjoy ♡

Warning: smut, public, rough

Originally posted by alcantara420

I sat next to Justin pointing out how he had done the math equation wrong by putting the x in the wrong spot, he groaned and ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up in frustration.

“Why is this so hard for me?” He mumbled mainly to himself, I guessed so I reassuringly patted his shoulder and said, “that’s what I’m here for, to help you get better and make this easier” I offer him a smile and he nods going back to his work.

I look around the library appreciating the quietness but I couldn’t help but feel that something was missing, I look at the desk that was usually occupied by Jeff and Clay and frowned as it was empty.

“Looking for your lover boy?” I heard Justin ask and without even looking at him I knew he had a smirk across on his lips.

I stop looking at the unoccupied desk and back at my hands on the table blushing “he isn’t my lover boy” I mumble in embarrassment.

“You wish he was though” Justin replied back with knowing tone in his voice, I looked at him and he had a small smile of his lips instead of his usual smirk “He wishes he was too” he added.

I look shocked as the words left his lips “what?” I asked confused.

“Jeff, he likes you too y/n” Justin explains now smirking at me, he softly pats my hand leaning in to say something else but then quickly pulled away, I give him a look of confusion but then notice him looking behind me.

I slowly turn and see Jeff angrily leaving the library, “what just happened?” I asked Justin concerned.

He laughs slowly closing his books “I think you better go after him, your lover boy may be jealous” I blush at the thought of Jeff getting jealous but listen to Justin leaving him to pack up his stuff and go home.

I walk outside of the library to an empty hallway, I turn a corner hoping to at least get a glimpse of Jeff but sadly I was just met with another deserted hallway “Jeff?” I call out wondering if he was even still here.

Looking intensely at the end of the corridor I didn’t notice a hand creep out of the boys’ locker room, I let out a muffled scream in an attempt to call out for help afraid one of my worst fears would be coming true as the person dragged me inside the locker room, but instead I was met with a familiar pair of blue eyes.

“Jeff” I whisper is relief, I let out an awkward chuckle “you scared me half to death” I admitted but then noticed the frustrated look painted on his face.

Keep reading

Roll for Seduction (Part 2)

Our dragonborn ranger uses grog of whimsy to summon charmed cleric out of the sea. Our drow sorceress then attempts to seduce the cleric so she doesn’t jump back in the water. She succeeded 17 to 12.

DM: you are now doubly seduced. You’re like, “This one speaks my language!”

Cleric: She speaks in a way I understand.

Sorceress: I speak body language.

DM: “…and this one has the right number of limbs!”

The aboleth jumped aboard to reclaim its “girlfriend,” so everyone started discussing how to dispatch it.

Cleric: Maybe someone else seduces it.

DM: *joking* Everyone seducing it—eventually it joins the party.

When the monk finally killed it, it looked kind of mournfully at the cleric before it died.

Cleric: Oh my goodness, I feel sort of bad now.

Ranger: It was going to take you away to make you its tentacle hentai queen! Don’t feel bad!

Behind Closed Doors // A Thomas Smut

Prompt: It is forbidden at all costs to sleep with the only girl in the glade, but that’s not gonna stop Thomas from being with her in the slightest.

Relationship: Thomas x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Sneaking Around, Swearing, Dirty Talk, Slightly Rough Thomas I Guess, Sexual Harassment, and Super Fucking Sexy Thomas Because Come On.

Word Count: 6,863

A/N: Because I was in the mood for some maze runner smut.

Your name: submit What is this?

Not being able to hold back the pleasure built up inside of me any longer, I let out a loud moan the second Thomas reattached his lips on my pulse point and nibbled on it. His chest pushing up against me rubbed my back on the wall and his fingers lightly grazed me over my soaking wet panties, sending excited shivers down my spine. My entire body was begging for more of him, but I knew that we wouldn’t have enough time out here to have sex and make it back.

“Thomas, we need to go back to the glade.” I tried, but he didn’t stop what he was doing. Instead he just pushed my panties to the side with his fingers. “We still have to map out what we saw before we forget it and it gets dark.”

“We’re not gonna forget.” He hummed against my neck, his voice vibrating my skin.

“Babe, we don’t have time for sex.” I disagreed, but immediately whimpered when his middle finger slid through my folds and separated them.

“Who said anything about sex?” Thomas smirked, applying pressure on my clitoris and slowly circling it. “I just want to make my girl feel good before we have to pretend like we’re not together.”

I wanted to protest and I wanted to be responsible here, but as he worked my nub in such an incredible and addictive way, I couldn’t find the will to actually stop him. I knew we wouldn’t have the same freedom in the glade that we have out here in the maze, thanks to Alby’s most strict rule of No one ever touches (Y/N) because she’s the only female and whomever does will be punished, so I decided to just give into him and let Thomas do whatever he wanted to me.

I brought my hands up to his neck and pulled him away from mine to attach his lips on my own. Our kiss was passionate and full of lust, his tongue already gliding on the bottom of my lip to ask for an entrance. I opened my mouth for him to slip his tongue inside and I instantly moaned at how skillful he was with it.

Thomas’ finger increased its pace against my nub, my hips bucking at the delicious feeling. The way he was working on me made me feel so hazy that I couldn’t even focus on kissing him correctly, my mouth too lazy to properly move. All I could do was allow the pleasure to build up inside of me and moan into his mouth as Thomas now used his finger to slide inside of my warmth. My hands gripped onto his neck tighter in response along with my arching back and my secret boyfriend smirked against my lips. My eyes fell shut to the incredible sensations he was provoking, but a whine escaped my mouth when he broke our kiss.

“Does this feel good?” He teased, his finger slowly pumping inside of my core.

I just nodded, my body too lost in the pleasure to be able to form any sentence or say a single word for that matter. Thomas knew exactly how much it turned me on when he talked dirty to me and I didn’t even need to open my eyes to know he was grinning smugly at me right now. His finger moved a little faster inside of me before I could even ask and the shameless moan that escaped my lips would’ve been embarrassing if I wasn’t too lustful at this moment.

“Do you want another one?” Thomas smirked, the movements of his finger bringing me close to my peak. I nodded my head and he just tsked sexily. “I need you to say it, baby.”

“Y-Yes.” I somehow managed to speak through the desire and Thomas immediately responded.

Another finger of his pushed itself into my core and I hitched my leg around his waist for him to have more access. Thomas moaned at my sudden action and instantly pushed his fingers deeper, an immediate mixture of a moan and a scream falling from my lips. I didn’t care that I was so loud and open with Thomas, our relationship was too intimate for me to worry about being vulnerable around him.

“T-Thomas, please.” I begged him for my orgasm and, believe it or not, his pace increased even more.

The spring in my stomach was coiling more with every passing second and Thomas definitely knew. With his other hand, my boyfriend slipped it under my shirt and runner gear to squeeze my breast. His hand began kneading it, Thomas’ calloused fingers tightly pinching my nipple and it was enough to further the pulsing in my core. I desperately wanted his mouth attached to my perky bud but I knew that that wouldn’t be possible thanks to the annoying runner’s wear and how incredibly difficult it was to remove.

It was when Thomas curled his fingers inside of me to press against my G-spot he was well aware of and his thumb put unbelievable pressure on my clit that I couldn’t hold it back anymore. The spring inside of me snapped, releasing the extremely anticipated orgasm all throughout my body. My back arched, my legs shook and a mixture of embarrassing moans with lustful screams erupted from my chest.

“Shit, baby, you sound and look so beautiful.” Thomas moaned, my mouth only able to moan in response.

Once I whimpered at how sensitive I’ve become, Thomas carefully removed his fingers from inside of me and gently placed my leg back on the ground. His other hand detached from my breast and fixed my shirt so it looked like nothing happened. As soon as I opened my eyes, the first sight I saw was Thomas happily sucking on his fingers that worked on me. His tongue grazed his skin and, even though I just came, this sexy sight immediately made me ready for another orgasm with him. He smirked at how in awe I was and I almost melted right then and there when he winked. Pulling his fingers out of his mouth, Thomas adjusted my jeans and I watched him with hooded eyes.

Bringing my back off of the maze’s wall and managing to stand on my own, a grin spread across my lips with a deviant idea. Thomas’ eyebrows quirked up at me before I prepared myself for what I was about to do.

“Last one to the map room is a rotten shank!” I challenged, immediately sprinting towards the glade.

Looking behind me with a huge smile planted on my face, I realized Thomas instantly played along and was already hot on my trail. We both ran like maniacs towards the door with joy flooding through our veins and not a single care in the world. Considering Thomas and I are the best runners in the glade, it didn’t take long for us to maneuver our way through the maze and quickly reach the entrance. An excited squeal escaped my lips when I looked behind me and realized Thomas was no longer there, but was now right beside me. The wind blew in my hair and stung my face, yet all I could focus on was how beautiful and happy my boyfriend looked as we suddenly entered the glade and rushed towards the map room already in sight. The two of us completely ignored all of the stares and shouts the gladers were sending us, both too consumed by each other.

“No, no, no!” I screamed when he started winning, but it was no use. Thomas was just as determined as I was. It’s our best, but also most annoying quality.

“See you on the other side, rotten shank!” He shouted back at me, not even bothering to turn around before reaching the map room and quickly opening the door.

“Thomas!” I tried to stop him, but of course it didn’t work.

My boyfriend rushed inside and I groaned when he beat me at my own game. Running in after him, Thomas’ smirk was wide and smug as I shut the door to the map room behind us. That’s always how our sessions worked, behind closed doors to avoid getting caught. I wish that we could be open about our relationship, but at the same time I like how the adrenaline flows through our veins every time we meet in secret. With the door closed every facade falls. The disguise we display to the world fades away and all we desire is to fuck each other’s brains out.

“I’m glad you could finally come.” He teased and I narrowed my eyes at him as I approached Thomas slowly.

“Well, it’s a good thing I already did.” I clicked my tongue, Thomas’ eyebrows quirking at my comment. “Because something tells me if you keep this up, you won’t.”

“Oh, is someone upset I won?” Thomas grinned, the both of us now inches apart from each other. “Can’t handle being slower than me, can you?”

I decided to ignore him and just glare at him instead of saying anything, hoping it would make him take back what he just said. But, no. An even wider and cockier smile pulled at the corner of his lips and as much as I hated to admit it, he looked incredibly sexy.

“Screw you, Thomas.”

“If you insist.” He shrugged before grabbing my cheeks and crashing his lips against mine.

I instantly moaned into his mouth, his impressive lips molding with my own in such perfect harmony. If there’s something Thomas certainly knows how to do is kiss me like there’s no tomorrow, always making my knees go with with his touch. His tongue didn’t even ask for an entrance instead he just pushed it past my lips and made its way onto mine, the both of them waltzing together so beautifully that no dancer could ever compare. Our love so much more stunning than any piece of art out there in the world.

Thomas’ hand wrapped around my waist to push my chest into his warm one as he backed our bodies up to the nearest table. Our kiss never broke even when he cleared all of the pens, pencils, papers, and pieces of scrap with one swift movement of his hand off the table. Excitement boiling inside of me as his hands settled on my ass to pull me up on it and sit me down on the surface. My legs instantly spread for him at the same time that Thomas began unzipping my jeans and pulling them down, my lack of air starting to make me feel light-headed. My jeans were pooling down on the floor when I decided to separate our kiss, begrudgingly, and my hands flew to his belt. As I unbuckled it, Thomas removed my leather runner’s gear. At the same time that I opened his pants and let it fall to the ground, my boyfriend pulled at the hem of my shirt telling me he wanted it off. My shirt was the first to go then his and as soon as we were only in our underwear, Thomas’ mouth immediately latched onto my breast to give it the attention it desperately wanted earlier.

Even though his warm and wet mouth working on my nipple turned me on immensely, there was nothing I craved more than to feel him inside of me. As soon as I tugged at his boxers, Thomas got the message. He bit down on my nipple, a squeal escaping my lips, and pulled at it with his teeth before taking his mouth off of my breast with a pop.

I brought his boxers down to his knees and instinctively wrapped my hand around his delicious shaft, not being able to hold back how much I craved to touch him. As I slowly pumped his erection, my thumb caressing his swollen and wet with precum tip, Thomas growled at the feeling and ripped apart my panties all of a sudden. Even though I wanted to get mad at him considering I only have three, well now two, I couldn’t find it in myself to be anything but turned on by his lustful actions.

Putting his lips back onto mine, Thomas spread my legs for him to stand in between. One of his hands settled on my waist as the other removed mine from his cock to position himself in my entrance, moans escaping both of our lips when he wet his tip with my juices. His swollen head sliding amongst my folds and caressing my clitoris, my chest already arching into his at the contact. It’s not my fault I easily come undone with Thomas, it’s his fault for being so damn sexy all the time.

Thomas pressed himself into my core and our breaths hitched in our throats as he slowly stretched me, both of us melting into the incredible feeling. His hand on my waist moved to my lower back so he could push me closer to him, his dick entering deeper inside of me. My eyes immediately shut at the fullness and Thomas’ head fell to my shoulder, his lips placing gentle kisses on my skin. Once he was buried deep inside of me, my boyfriend didn’t even need to wait before thrusting thanks to how turned on and ready I was for him.

Thomas started out at a normal pace, enjoying the feeling of our bodies connected again. We haven’t had sex in about a week because sex in the maze is careless and dangerous and it’s been nearly impossible in the glade because of all the attention he was getting lately. So, needless to say, we’ve been craving each other too much and the built up sexual tension between us is so strong it almost hurts.

Just as he increased his thrusting, Thomas’ free hand moved up to my neck and gripped onto the back of my hair. I whimpered in response and he smiled into my shoulder blade. We didn’t talk about it because it was just a normal thing, but the both of us absolutely love it when Thomas pulls my hair. It’s our favorite kink we share and have no shame in falling prey to it. The way he pounds into me as he grabs my hair, his fingers intertwining with the strands, was so exciting to us.

“Thomas!” A voice suddenly called from outside of the map room and before we even knew it or could do anything to stop what was about to happen, the door flew open. “Are you alright? Why were you guys running so fa-”

My eyes widened in fear as Gally appeared in front of us, his sentence immediately stopping as soon as he caught sight of Thomas fucking me. Who had instantly halted his actions when he realized we were no longer alone and picked up his head from my shoulder to look at the intruder with not only a shocked expression, but a glare blazing in his brown eyes.

Gally’s pupils fell to our connected and wet groins, Thomas growling when he did. As soon as he began to pull out, a moan escaping my lips at the most inappropriate time thanks to the friction, the now terrified glader immediately backed away. Turning around to face the door, Gally ran out of the map room without another word.

“T-Thomas, he’s gonna go tell Alby.” I panicked the moment Gally was gone. “We s-should stop.”

“No.” Thomas grunted, pushing back inside of me and picking up his thrusts again. “We just have to be fast before they get here.”

“Thomas, you’re gonna get in trouble.”
I argued, but moaned loudly when his tip hit my most sensitive spot he was very well aware of.

“I’m gonna get in trouble either way.” He stated, his pace fast and hard. The desk pounding against the wall along with his thrusts, our breathing in sync with the rhythm as well. “Might as well enjoy this last moment I have with you.”

His words stung in my heart the second he finished saying them because we knew Alby wouldn’t take this “crime” lightly. Thomas was going to get punished and fear mixed with the lust in my veins at what exactly said punishment consists of.

“Okay, then you’re gonna want to go harder than that.” I teased, my hands now flying to grip his flexed biceps in preparation.

Thomas followed my directions instantly and pounded harder into me, my body already getting a taste of the sweet edge it will soon be falling over. His mouth crashed back onto mine and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. I kissed him back with as much fervor and passion, neither one of us wanting to say goodbye through words so we let our bodies do it instead. Which at the end of the day, would do a much better job than anything our minds can come up with. Thomas’ and my body are so in sync with each other that they just know exactly how to express our care and love without needing to fumble over sentences.

“I-I’m close.” I confessed, feeling my orgasm creeping up on me.

Thomas’ hand that was on my waist moved to our connecting groins and began to furiously circle my clit, my legs already shaking in response. I tried to kiss him back as focused as I could, but it was too hard to concentrate when I knew I was about to fall apart. Thomas, however, did an amazing job keeping our kiss going and he even slipped his tongue inside of my mouth.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I shouted, no longer concerned about hiding my moans.

The second Thomas applied more pressure onto my nub and, suddenly, pulled at my hair, I lost it. I completely fell over the edge and jumped into the overwhelming pool of pleasure waiting for me, my orgasm touching my skin like water in a lake. Clenching down on his cock, Thomas let out a strangled moan and the sound itself would’ve made me cum a second time.

Once I came back down from my high, I noticed Thomas was still chasing after his release. Bringing my mouth to his earlobe, I nibbled on it and ignored the sensitivity in my core. I was just as determined to have him orgasm as he was.

“It’s okay, baby.” I whispered into his ear, my boyfriend shuttering at the feeling of my warm breath fanning across his sweaty skin. “Forget the world outside and just cum for me, Thomas.”

With the mixture of my dirty words and my core purposely clenching down on him, Thomas moaned into my mouth as he finally reached his much anticipated orgasm. At the same time that he pulled out to release on my stomach, four unexpected figures suddenly appeared at the doorway and my body froze. Thomas didn’t even notice them, his eyes were shut tight in focus and he grunted loudly as his hot cum coated my skin. It wasn’t until then that I noticed just who was at the door, all of their eyes wide and jaws dropped in complete shock.

Gally, Alby, Newt, and Minho’s terrified eyes averted from the scene before them and all of the lust inside of me was replaced with horror. The four keepers of the glade just witnessed their newest Greenie cumming on the only girl here. My cheeks immediately felt hot and I knew they were painted with red blushes.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Thomas’ husky voice snapped me out of my fear and my eyes shifted to look at him. He was furrowing his eyebrows at me in confusion and all I could do was stare.

“Thomas clean her up and meet us outside.” Alby spoke up with a voice full of authority and my boyfriend gasped. “Now.”

He didn’t even dare to turn around, I just watched as Thomas’ face became as red as mine. Alby quickly turned around and left, the three other boys following in his footsteps.

“Thomas, I’m scared.” I confessed, my concerned eyes piercing into his. “I don’t want to lose you.”

A soft and genuine smile appeared on his lips as my boyfriend placed his hand on my flushed cheek.

“You won’t.” He promised and I believed him.

Thomas grabbed what was left of my torn panties and used the cloth to clean his release off of me. As soon as he finished, both of us quietly put our clothes back on. Our minds too full of thoughts about what we were going to face to put together a conversation.

“Ready?” He asked me, his hand about to push open the door.

“Ready.” I nodded.

Slipping my hand into his free one, Thomas opened the door and lead us out into the glade. My heart beat violently against my ribcage as we approached the group of people formed in front of the maze’s doors, Alby already staring at us with his arms folded across his chest. I noticed how it was getting darker by the second, meaning the doors to the maze would be shutting any minute now.

“Look at that shuckface!” Gally suddenly shouted, pointing at Thomas and I didn’t understand where this anger was coming from. “He’s nothing but a piece of klunk!”

“That’s enough, Gally.” Newt defended as we entered the group.

Alby unfolded his arms and settled them beside him, he walked over to us and Thomas gulped at the proximity. He cleared his throat due to his nervousness and shifted on his feet, but never took his hand out of mine. The leader’s eyes flickered to it before they returned to their angry post on the Greenie, disappointment also evident in them.

“We don’t have many rules here in the glade.” Alby spoke up. “And yet, Thomas, you have managed to break the most important.”

I expected my boyfriend’s head to fall to the ground in shame, but instead he stood his ground. Thomas was in no way challenging or disrespecting Alby, he was just telling him through his actions that he didn’t agree.

“You’re going to have to be punished for going against our law.”

“Banish him!” Gally yelled and my entire body went weak.

“Alby, we can’t banish him.” Minho suddenly intervened, his eyes concerned about his good friend. “He’s too important.”

“Maybe we should just put him a night in the pit with no food.” Newt offered and the scoff that came out of Gally’s mouth was so loud it almost scared me.

“Absolutely not!” The annoying glader disagreed, his head shaking as he pointed at Thomas. “That’s too easy, he’s just gonna do it again!”

“So?” I spoke up, surprising both the gladers and myself. “I’m the one that decides wether or not someone touches me, not you guys!”

“(Y/N), you don’t know what you’re saying-”

“Yes, I do Gally!” I shouted in frustration. “Thomas isn’t hurting me and it shouldn’t be a crime if I like it.”

“She has a point, Alby.” Minho agreed with me and an actual smile placed itself on my lips.

“No, she doesn’t!” Gally hissed. “Alby, don’t listen to this. He can’t just spend a night in the pit, he needs to be kicked out.”

Alby lifted his hand to order silence in the glade and everyone immediately complied. A nervous lump formed in my throat as I realized that the leader had made his decision.

“Thomas, you won’t be spending a night in the pit.” Alby stated. “You’ll spending it in the maze.”

The entire world around me stopped so I could feel it quickly crumble into pieces beneath my feet. A static noise buzzed in my ear and my eyes became blurry with instant tears as I felt an icy cold hurricane crash down on me and drown me in fear. My heart pounded against my body as if it belonged to Thumper from Bambi and I was certain it was going to break through and fall down to the floor.

“No, no, no.” I shook my head in denial but no one said anything. It was already decided.

Out of nowhere, the sudden sound of the doors to the maze began to close and the ice water inside of me froze every single one of my limbs. Pain invaded my cells and tore them apart without any bit of mercy. The last thing I heard before I completely succumbed to my fear was Alby’s upset voice telling Thomas it was time to go. My breathing shortened and a sick feeling punched me in my stomach, warning me I was going to throw up. An invisible hand wrapped around my throat and forbid me from properly breathing and a mixture of hot and cold flashes sparked through my body. It was as if I were dying and I knew exactly what was happening to me. And by the way Thomas stood in front of me and placed both of his hands on my cheek, he also knew I was having a panic attack.

“Breathe.” He instructed and I tried to follow the way he was showing me breathing exercises. “It’s okay, just breathe. I’m going to make it, (Y/N). I need you to believe me.”

I wanted to say I believed him but all I could do was replay Chuck once telling me No one survives a night in the maze over and over again in my mind. Thomas continued to try and comfort me even though he was the one about to face the Grievers, yet we both knew my panic attack wasn’t going to go away anytime soon.

“Thomas, let’s go.” Alby stated, pulling his hands off of me and began leading everyone towards the moving doors.

We approached it and I did my best to ignore my panic attack as Thomas turned to look at me one last time. His eyes were begging me to be okay and I wished I could grant him what he wanted, but I wasn’t going to ever be okay again. My boyfriend quickly wrapped his arms around me and I ignored all of the stares from the gladers as he separated to place a kiss on my lips. It was short and of course I craved more, but mainly because a part of me knew I would never feel it again.

“I love you.” Thomas said to me for the first time and my heart actually jumped. My eyes flickered over to Alby for the slightest second and I could see the hurt in his own eyes. He didn’t want to do this, but he needed to enforce the rules.

My boyfriend walked through the doors to the maze and my legs ran to him, hot tears streaming down my face that I hadn’t even noticed until now. Newt immediately grabbed me before I could go in and I watched with a heart in agony as he entered the maze and turned around to look as me one last time.

“I love you, too.” I shouted through my hysterical sobbing.

Thomas gave me an encouraging smile before the rocks connected and he was trapped behind closed doors.

~

The entire night was one long and drawn out nightmare. My mind kept picturing the worst scenarios of Thomas in that terrifying maze, always ending with him being teared apart by the Grievers that showed him no mercy. His pillow was completely stained by my salty tears at this point and my cheeks were stiff with all of the dry water stuck to them. I was no longer sobbing uncontrollably like I had since the moment Thomas left, but I was now entirely numb inside.

Usually, I loved getting up early in the morning to see Thomas quickly before we had to run off into the maze for the day. However, today I dreaded the idea of leaving his hammock that I have already claimed my own. His smell still lingered in the sheets and I, in no way, was ready to part from the small piece of him I still had left. No one ever survives a night in the maze and Thomas is still relatively a Greenie which means he was no different.

Watching as the sun rose in front of me, the normally beautiful and vibrant colors no longer having an effect without Thomas here for us to marvel at them, I felt a small finger tapping on my shoulder. Turning around, Chuck looked at me with pity but also a small glimpse of hope in his eyes. He was laying on his hammock and I instantly noticed the dried tears on his freckled cheeks.

“He’s gonna make it.” He spoke up, his voice not groggy like I expected it to be which meant he also didn’t get any sleep last night. Our minds were too worried about our favorite person in this glade. “I promise you. Thomas is gonna walk right through those doors today and surprise us all.”

“Don’t get your hopes up, Chuck.” I stated, the lump in my throat now permanently lodged there. “It hurts more than just accepting the horrible truth.”

“This is the truth.” The chubby twelve year old sat up in his hammock, his eyes determined as they looked at me. “I’ve been in this glade as long as I can remember and never have I ever met someone like Thomas before. He’s strong, fast and– most importantly– he’s ridiculously smart. If someone’s gonna figure out a way to survive against the Grievers, that someone is definitely our Thomas.”

His words weren’t just made to comfort me and they weren’t full of pity or false hope, Chuck meant every single sentence that came out of his mouth. And from how certain he was about them, I couldn’t help hut feel like they were laced with truancy. I know Thomas better than anyone here and because of that, I was well aware he would never give up without one hell of a fight. My logic and my mind were telling me he was already long gone, but my heart suddenly felt a small spark of faith. All thanks to how sure this small yet incredibly courageous boy was.

“Thank you, Chuck.” I smiled for the first time since yesterday. “I needed to hear that.”

“And I needed to say it to someone​ other than myself.” He confessed with a kind smile that I gladly returned. “Now come on, let’s get some breakfast.”

Chuck shot up from his hammock and I let out a loud squeal when he turned mine, suddenly dropping me on the ground. The grass prickled my arms and legs, but I was now too focused on immediately standing up to get my revenge on him. The youngest glader let out a mixture of a scream and a laugh when I charged for him, already running away from me. But, I was determined and Chuck knew that which is why in a matter of seconds as we ran through the glade, not caring who saw us, I was able to wrap my arms around him and grab the kid. Instantly pinning him to the ground, Chuck shouted and giggled as I mercilessly attacked him with the tickle monster.

“Stop, please!” He pleaded through his loud laughter, the gladers waking up because of us. “Okay, okay! You win!”

“As always.” I smirked, pulling away from him. Chuck immediately let out a deep breath of relief and rested his elbows on the grass to glare at me.

“You’re an evil, woman.” He challenged and all I could do was laugh.

“I like to think of it as a gift.”

Winking at Chuck and then walking away, the sudden loud sound of the solid doors to the maze roared through the glade and warned us they were now opening. My heart instantly stopped and I didn’t even notice I was sprinting towards the heavy doors until I felt unexpected wind stinging against my cheek. I could see the maze already and my heartbeat paced faster than it ever has, not because I was running but because I was convinced that Thomas would be on the other side.

From my peripheral vision, I sensed Minho and Newt running along with me and Chuck right behind us three. We didn’t care that we looked desperate and insane, all we wanted was to see our Greenie again. I internally cursed my legs for not being fast enough and getting me to Thomas as soon as possible.

Once I had finally reached the entrance of the maze, my legs halted to a stop and my eyes immediately peered around the inside to see if they could spot him. I didn’t even mind that my breathing was completely unstable, that my heartbeat was pounding against my eardrums or that my lungs were burning in my chest. All I could think about was: Where the hell is he?

Thomas was nowhere in sight. The maze was completely empty and as I felt Chuck reach up and stand beside me, my mind began to slip back into the state it was in before. The panic and despair came back along with the pain and agony in my heart. All of the hope and faith Chuck had convinced me of instantly washed away only to be replaced by anguish and anger. The hurt I felt watching Thomas enter the maze is nothing compared to the wound that I will now have because he hasn’t come out of it. The once numb girl was now completely broken and shattered into a million pieces.

How could I have let myself think that things would’ve ended any differently?

Everyone knows people don’t make it with Grievers surrounding them, no human has a chance against those monsters. Thomas, the love of my life, was gone and there’s nothing I could do to get him back. He’s dead… and it’s all my fault. Why did I get involved with him when I knew it would put his life in danger? Why did I repeatedly be with him even though I was well aware of the possible consequences?

All I cared about was momentary passion and now Thomas has suffered a permanent punishment because of it- because of me. I’ll never forgive myself for what I have caused and I’ll never be able to live with the guilt either. Although, I won’t ever forget all of the fun times we had with each other and the love we shared. I don’t care that I can’t remember anything that happened to me before the glade, what really matter are the memories Thomas and I created together.

“So much for walking through those doors and surprising us.” I stated to Chuck as my voice broke, not even bothering to look at him.

I didn’t care how possibly hurt he was now, all I managed to do was look at the vacant maze one last time before tearing myself away from it and heading towards anywhere but here.

My legs carried me to the woods once again to cry alone and away from everyone else just like I had yesterday. But, this time it was so much worse. I couldn’t even see properly with how blurry my vision has become thanks to the non-stop tears. The back of my eyes burned as they cried, but it didn’t compare to the burning in my heart. It carried a weight like no other, a pain like never before. Leaning against a tree and slumping down to the uncomfortable ground, I allowed myself to just completely lose it.

Suddenly, the sound of a twig snapping pulled me out of my own depressing thoughts to look up at the source. Rage and hatrid flowed through my body the second I wiped away the pooling tears in my eyes and came face-to-face with the one person I despise the most, Gally. He stood there in front of me with a disgusting grin planted on his face and I desperately wanted to slap it off.

“What the hell do you want, shuckface?” I hissed, forcing myself to stop crying so he wouldn’t see me so vulnerable and, to my surprise, it actually worked. Mind over matter, I guess.

“You.”

The word came out of his mouth so naturally that I almost didn’t believe it, it wasn’t until he unexpectedly rushed over to me and lifted me off the ground that the reality hit me. Shockwaves of panic and fear immediately spread throughout my nerves like fire, instantly destroying me in its wake. A terrified and pained grunt escaped my lips when my attacker, all of a sudden, roughly pushed me up against the harsh tree. My body was so shocked with what was happening that I couldn’t even respond, my muscles frozen in place although my mind was screaming desperately at me to fight and run away.

“G-Gally!” I cried, my lips the only part of my body able to react as he gripped both of my wrists with one of his hands and settled it over my head. “Stop! What are you doing?!”

“What do you think I’m doing?” He spat back with a smirk and flashes of horror consumed me.

“You can’t do this!” I shouted frantically, my voice desperate and unstable.

“Why not?” Gally’s black and dark eyes pierced into mine, his icy stare making me feel cold. “Thomas did.”

The mention of his name sparked something in me I couldn’t explain and I, suddenly, felt stronger than ever. My body finally responded​ to the commands my neurons were sending to my muscles. Immediately and harshly stepping down on his foot, Gally let out a yelp of pain and out of instinct, let go of my hand.

“I wanted Thomas to touch me! You’re just disgusting!” I shouted at him with intense fury before sprinting away from the psycho.

“Oh, no you don’t.” I heard him comment and I knew that he was already hot on my trail.

Before I even expected it, I was abruptly tackled to the ground by his forceful body and to say it hurt wouldn’t be a fair description. Adrenaline ran through my veins, but it didn’t matter how much I fought back because Gally was a lot stronger than me. As soon as I tried to scream for help, his hand instantly covered my mouth and stopped me from trying to escape. His other hand grabbed my wrists like before and there was no use in trying to get away anymore, I was completely submitted to Gally’s strength.

I’m disgusting? You’re the whore, not me.” He hissed, tears already returning their posts down my cheeks. “I’m one of the leaders here and my voice is heard, not yours. If you say anything about this, (Y/N), no one’s ever gonna believe you.”

“I will.”

A sudden and familiar voice that didn’t belong to neither me or Gally spoke up from behind us and I immediately recognized it. My attacker’s eyes widened in fear, meaning he also knew exactly whom it belonged to and relief spread through my once terrified nerves when he quickly stood up.

There, standing over us, was the one person I desperately wanted to see the most. His shirt was torn, his shoulder covered in yellow slime, all of his skin painted with dirt, blood and sweat- but he never looked more beautiful in his entire life.

Not being able to handle waiting, my legs jumped up and instantly ran towards Thomas. His arms already welcoming me as I crashed into his embrace. I couldn’t care less about Gally anymore, all that mattered was that Thomas was alive and well. I hugged him so tight because I was afraid he would disappear if I let go, but instead of wincing my boyfriend just hugged me as tight right back. My tears of joy stained his shirt even further, Thomas caressing my hair whilst I cried into his chest.

“Baby, what do you want me to do with Gally?” He asked, the sound of his voice music to my ears.

“I don’t care.” I shrugged. “I just want to hold you forever now that you’re back.”

I didn’t know how it was possible, but Thomas hugged me even tighter and I loved every second of it.

“I’m too tired to kill you, Gally. Just get out of my sight.” He warned, his voice stern. “Go now before I change my mind!”

I tuned out the sound of Gally’s feet crushing grass and twigs as he ran away from us, my mind only focused on the steady pace of Thomas’ beating heart in his chest. He placed kisses on my temple continously and it didn’t help to stop the salty tears streaming down my cheeks.

“I thought I lost you.” I cried.

“Well, I promised you wouldn’t.” He chuckled, his body shaking the both of us as he did. “And I’m not one to break a promise.”

“I’m just glad you’re home with me.”

“(Y/N),” Thomas pulled away so he could stare me deep into my eyes. “You are my home.”

anonymous asked:

Hi! do you have any tips on anatomy? i struggle so much at it. your art is so cute btw!!!

hi anon!! thank u so much!! im gonna try my best to offer some tips to u!!!! im still learning with anatomy as well (& im not so good with tutorials…) so bare with me:

SIMPLIFY AND BREAK DOWN EVERYTHING IS MY #1 PIECE OF ADVICE. for example lets start small with a hand. instead of looking at a reference or ur own hand and trying to perfectly capture every detail, look at the basic shape!! its p much a square for ur palm, 4 sticks of varying sizes, and as i have described here the little pouring part of a teapot (idk what its called) for a thumb.

u can apply this anywhere!!! just like the hand, other parts of the body like legs and arms have basic shapes too!! ive seen many artists explain it this way so i picked it up as well, but they have this rhythm where one side is curved and the other is straight (its more subtle in realistic art, but if ur going for cartoony u can exaggerate this too). depending on the drawing or sometimes if my drawing is small i’ll just make straight rectangles for arms or legs but rly it will make things more interesting and technically correct if u show these variations in the appendage shapes.


really the best thing in art ever for me is to simplify simplify simplify, im not great @ anatomy but learning to break things down and represent them in the most minimalistic ways has rly helped me a lot and made my anatomy look better too. to be honest i have not done figure drawings in ages and i rarely use real life references when drawing (IM NOT ADVOCATING FOR DOING SO, I KNOW IT HELPS MANY PEOPLE A LOT BUT I JUST CANT EVER GET INTO IT). whenever i use real life reference, i feel like my art becomes stiff since i tend to replicate the image too closely thus making a cartoony style have the proportion and anatomy of a real person which doesnt really fit the style.. i prefer to study the work of other artists especially animators since they have a great grasp on appealing simplification and stylized anatomy (bc u know its hard to have an animated show thats super detailed). craig mccracken and genndy tartakovsky both have really cool simplistic cartoon styles so i draw a lot of inspiration from their art (and i hope to use varying shapes and exaggerate my anatomy more like theirs as well). 

(one little other important thing i didnt rly mention but ill keep it short since everyone says this. of course u have to practice too. i know it sucks to hear “just keep doing it” from everyone when ur frustrated with ur abilities and dont want to keep doing it, but continuing to draw bodies will boost ur abilities so much. u can look at art and read a million tutorials, but actually drawing will continuously build up ur muscle memory for drawing arms, legs, etc and after a while it comes naturally!!)

tldr practice & study not just from real life but look at how other artists break down and simplify shapes of the body. also remember art doesnt have to have flawless realistic anatomy to look good! there are so many incredible artists who bend the rules of anatomy whether its as a stylistic choice or to exaggerate emotion or perspective, etc.

in which flash lives in a fancy house and peter and michelle are far too dorky for their own good. parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, NINE (this one!)

  • okay, so like. mj always knew that flash was wealthy, you know. he drives a really fancy car and he wears an expensive watch. his hair is always styled in that…rich dude way. but she’s never really had to face how wealthy he truly is until she’s driving deep into the suburbs, surrounded on either side by houses that keep getting larger and more grandiose.
  • ned is in the back just, gawking. “that house is the size of my apartment building!” “oh my goodness, is that a fountain?” “that car has a rolls royce just parked in the driveway!” and ned’s gasping breaths are the soundtrack to their car ride because peter’s phone died and they don’t know the radio stations this far out of the city.
  • when they finally pull up to his house, there is a large driveway that leads up to an even larger house. cars are lined up and down the block and they seem some people from school walking up the driveway. mj parks around the corner and takes a deep breath. she turns around to look at ned and betty and smiles, “ready?”
  • when she looks back at peter, he has the odd look on his face that she doesn’t really want to deal with right now. “ready, loser?” she asks him. and before he can answer, she opens the car door and stretches. when she walks around the car, peter is waiting for her. “ready as ever.” he answers.
  • she can’t help it so she wraps her arms around his shoulders and he wraps his arm around her waist. they walk like that to the party, peter snug under her arm and him pulling her close.
  • she ignores the smug look on ned’s face when he wiggles his eyebrows at her. she just turns and looks straight ahead, allowing herself to enjoy the feel of his fingers squeezing at her waist.

Keep reading

Bear’s Story (part 3)

Having pushed the enemies into the heavily desecrated temple of Pelor.
DM: The fireball hit most of you for full damage, Sorcerer, looks like you bearly survived by making your save.
Bear: I charge up to the guy and yank the fireball wand from him saying, “That’s MY SORCERER!”
DM: Roll for it, str check, no attack bonus.
Bear: (easily makes the check) “YOU NEVER HURT MY SORCERER!” and then I snap the wand.
Everyone at the table gasps.
Bear (ooc): What?
Cleric (ooc): Not sure if it’s official, but when you snap a wand, all its charges go off in an explosion.
DM: And just like her player, Bear has no way of knowing that would happen. So… that’s 49 fireballs all going off in her face. The temple is on fire, the main villain is gone (scratched off the sheet of loot on his body), all that stuff is gone, two henchmen obliterated, and… let’s not make it all bad. Most of the statue is missing now, revealing the stairs into the basement tunnels.
Cleric (ooc): Sorry, Bear. Short life, but that was one hell of an exit.
Once we put out the fires most of the party goes into the tunnels.
Sorcerer (ooc): The planter box in the middle of the temple, if it’s still in good condition, I’d like to plant an acorn in it. “Thank you, Bear. You were the best bear I ever knew.”
Cleric (ooc): Best bear? Heck, I think that’s the only person your character has ever shown any care or concern for in the past 9 years of gaming with you.

Ripples - Part 1

Synoposis: What happens when you wake up married to Steve Rogers in a Las Vegas hotel suite? Especially when you have feelings for his best friend and his best friend has feelings for you? Only time can tell.

Reader X Steve Rogers X Bucky Barnes

Warnings: Language for now. SMUT down the road, but not the first chapter :) 

A/N: I was watching The Hangover and read a great story by @imhereforbvcky and was inspired. Going to make this a series because choosing between Bucky and Steve is literally one of my internal conflicts.

This first Part will capture everyone’s perspective and afterwards each part will be in a particular character’s voices.

Tag List: @sidneycrosbysdick, @denialanderror @sexylibrarian1

Tags are open for the moment!


The harsh, bright rays of the Nevada desert shone into the small hotel room, slowly making its way over two distinct bodies. One of them was solid and strong, the defined muscles relaxed as an arm draped across the second body, smaller and softer. The first groaned, shifting in its stiff movements  before waking up,  allowing the remnants of the Asgardian ale to take one final course through his body. How much he had drank the night before to allow the effects of the ale to linger in his system was unknown to him as he shifted, becoming very aware of the warm body next to him.

His eyes popped open as he took in the soft features of the woman beside him.

No.

Steve Rogers became very aware of the cool sheets draping over his naked body, the same sheets that were draped over your own.

No, no, no.

The words ring in his head as he sits up in bed, allowing his eyes a second to adjust before he realizes he’s not waking up to his room in the tower. Instead of the navy blue walls greeting him, he is awarded with cream walls wallpapered with gold swirl designs.  He scans the room - bottle of champagne, a tux lying idly on the floor, a wedding dress on top of that…..

He stops. A wedding dress?

He looks down at his left hand and sure enough a simple gold band dones his left ring finger, glistening under the soft light..

“NO!”

He articulates the words booming behind his drunken stupor, startling you awake and you moan, shifting your head so that the sunlight can’t ruin your sleep, the throbbing in your head unmoving.

“Steve, please don’t make me monitor your trainings this morning. I feel like I drank a gallon of really cheap tequila.”

You give a heavy sigh before your eyes pop open.

Steve?

You sit up quickly, instantly regretting the movement as Steve stares at you, his rich blue eyes flicking down at your chest before he quickly shifts and turns the other way, a blush adorning his chiseled cheeks.  You’re confused for only a second before you’re aware of the cold air hitting your chest and you look down to see the thin, cotton sheets slipping down your body, your nipples taunt from the movement.

Panic sets in and you lift the sheets higher, grabbing for the thick comforter laying at the bottom of the bed in embarrassment.

Why were you naked lying next to Steve. You look at him and notice he’s just as naked as you and you close your eyes, trying to remember the events from last night.  

“What…what happened?” you finally ask trying to calm your heartbeat, confused on how to digest what the clues were pointing at.

Steve sighs, his back toward you and you can’t help but admire the way his muscles contract with the breath. Then you shake your head of the thought, causing more pain in your head and you groan, bending down to rub your temples.

“….I…..I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

He looks over his shoulders at you, worry in his eyes.

“I don’t think we’re at the Tower though. Unless you choose this very posh decor for your room?”

His voice is hopeful and you will yourself to look up, trying to digest your surroundings. You look around the room, your trained eyes going through the same process Steve’s had and you feel the panic attack stampeding toward you like warriors going to battle. You knew where you were.

“….we’re in Vegas.”

He groans, placing his head in his hands.

“That explains a lot.”

“Does it?” you give a half mocked laugh, trying to find some humour - any humour in the situation. This couldn’t be happening to you. You were just a simple- highly trained assassin gone assistant to Tony Stark and The Avengers team. Not a young, reckless girl who went to Vegas to have random hook up sex.

Steve looks back at you, his perfectly chiseled jaw set as he mumbles,

“That’s not even the best part,” he lifts his left hand, revealing a gold band that glitters in the sunlight. “I think we might be married.”

That was all you needed. You think about all the things that make you happy. Ice cream. Laying on the beach on a hot summer day. Reading a good book during a rainstorm. It isn’t enough to contain your body from shaking as you lift your left hand, praying to god that he was wrong.  

The gold band compliments your delicate ring finger and glistens like Steve’s in the sunlight. Your breathing stops, the irregular huffs causing Steve to furrow his brow in concern and he turns into you now, no longer ashamed of your nakedness as he wraps his arms around you.  

Even in a crisis Steve could be relied on to support you.

“Steve…how…what..and…” you were going to throw up. You were going to throw up - that was it. Steve’s hold tightens around you and you feel the way his chest rises and falls against your own, trying to ignore the way his touch made you want to explore more of him. Though you weren’t going to say it, you both were thinking the same thing.

What the hell were you going to tell Bucky.


James ‘Bucky’ Barnes stood in the living room of the Avengers tower, a cup of coffee that had long gone cold in his hands as he watched the sun rise. He gave a deep sigh as he heard the faint sound of heels clicking toward him, stopping once they hit the living room.

He knew that the young blonde was waiting on him to say something - offer breakfast, get her number, anything - but he had wanted her gone the moment he realized the dumb mistake he had made. He only mumbled,

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. - can you escort our guest off of the property. Call a cab for her.”

The supercomputer responded yes and he knew the woman was angry, the quick sound of her heels carrying her to the elevator. He gave a sigh of relief, sipping the cold dark coffee as he tried to collect his thoughts.

He had to figure out how to admit to what had happened without ruining his relationship with Y/N. He hadn’t realized how much he had cared about you until he saw you last night, the sapphire body con dress drawing him into the essence that could only be described as you. The night had started well. You had walked to him directly, checking on his comfort. You might have, and he was only trying to be positive, even flirted with him.

But then, Steve had left in a tiff and you had offered to check on him, knowing that the breakup between Sharon and himself was still raw. Bucky hadn’t thought anything of it until he was still waiting for you 2 hours later.  He was aroused and needed some relief - relief he had hope to find with you - but instead drunk Bucky who had sipped way to much of the demi-god’s ale had found an easy target with the blonde. He didn’t even really care for blondes but…..he just didn’t want to be lonely. By the time he had realized what he had done, she had passed out beside him and he was up all night, debating whether you were left wondering why he had left you.

He had hoped to catch you this morning to apologize. Everyone knew that you came in early every morning, refusing to move into the complex tower but knowing that things needed to be accomplished. You always went for an early morning run, so early that the sun would barely break through before making coffee making coffee and preparing the reports of the day for Tony. First one to arrive and last one to leave.

But you hadn’t this morning.

He was worried and distracted, trying to debate whether to go to your apartment to check on you when he hears the elevator ding. Hopeful, he turns expecting to see you coming in, sweaty off your run.

Instead, he was rewarded with Tony who was fuming.

The tall man barrelled through the open space, his hands balled up in two angry fists as his eyes locked onto Barnes.

“Where is he Barnes?”

Bucky raises a curious brow and Stark rolls his eyes,

“Listen, I don’t need you and your Lost Boys bestie covering each other. Not today. This is a serious offense. Flying off with the quin jet to god knows where is not the best publicity we need right now. Lets just hope no one that’s pissed off at us followed him.”

The blank stare Bucky returns to Stark lingers before Bucky shakes his head, returning his eyes out of the patio window.

“Who the hell are you talking about Stark?” he mumbles and Tony takes in Bucky’s confused face.

“Wait - you don’t know that your 1945 girlfriend absconded with my quin jet in the middle of the night not to be heard of? Turned off all the tracking systems and F.R.I.D.A.Y. so I can’t find him and beat him for ruining my morning with Pepper?”

The incredulousness in Tony’s voice is evident and Bucky shrugs, giving him a side glance before shaking his head. Tony gives a loud sigh, banging his fist on the kitchen island.

“Fuck! Do you know if Y/N is here yet? We need to get an angle on this stat.”

Bucky hated when Tony referred to you as though you were another robot in his lab, even though he knew that Tony thought more of you. He loved you like a younger daughter even if he took you for granted.

“She hasn’t come in yet.”

“FUCK!” Tony yells, storming to a cupboard to grab a cup for coffee. He finds one and pours, shaking his head in fury.

“You throw one fucking benefit dinner to prove to the public that The Avengers have changed and Steve has to go off and ruin it. Why am I not surprised.”

Tony leans against the counter, crossing his arms before he takes a sip of coffee before spitting it out.

“Jesus why does this taste like black acid!? Who the hell made this coffee?”

He looks up at Bucky, who hadn’t moved from his spot in the living room and rolls his eyes.

“Of course you made it. Taste likes its been boiling in a hydra base for over 60 years.” he gives an annoyed sigh,  dumping the contents of the pot into the sink before starting to make a new brew and Bucky chuckles, walking into the kitchen and shaking his head.

“Sorry you’re not man enough to handle a dark brew.”

Tony snorts when something rings, causing Bucky to jump up in alarm, his eyes searching the facility as Tony rolls his eyes.

“It’s just my news alarm can opener. Calm down.”

Bucky frowns. If there was nothing more obnoxious than Tony Stark, then it was all the machines that ringed and dinged and shrilled randomly throughout the day. He still didn’t understand the world that literally held the news in the palm of his hands, glass and metal separating him from a world of knowledge.

Tony’s glasses frost over, a news report flashing in front of his eyes and he groans, asking F.R.I.D.A.Y to remove the report from his view and quickly pushing a button on his watch, hastily heading toward the balcony.

“So you got the report.”

Neither of them are surprised to see Natasha, already equipped in her Black Widow attire as she walks into the living room.

Bucky is the first to ask,

“What report? Is this about Steve?”

“Is this about Steve?” Tony mocks, his hands stopping on the patio door handle before looking at the large super soldier. Bucky’s eyes scrunch together in frustration as Tony continues,

“Listen, Tin box, hold down the fort while mommy and daddy reign in the kids. When Y/N gets here, tell her she’s going to have to help with covering this mess Captain has got us in.”

Bucky can’t help to narrow his eyes, his left arm flexing before Natasha places a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t let him get to you. Just let Y/N know it’s probably nothing. Better that few of us go and clean this up,” she turns to Tony,  “There’s a mini jet I can take. Sits one.”

“Already informed Roadie. He’ll meet us there as well.”

And then Tony’s stepping off the balcony, only to fly upwards seconds later in his Iron Man suit. Bucky had been so distracted by the action that he doesn’t catch Natasha’s absence until he hears Sam’s voice and he groans. This morning keeps getting better and better.

“Take it they’re going after Steve?”

“Why the hell does everyone know where Steve is!?”

Sam laughs, turning on the TV in the kitchen as he pours himself a fresh cup of coffee.

“We call this machine a television Bucky. It usually reports out current events and false drama to distract humans from their day to day lives.” His voices is laced with heavy sarcasm but Bucky is to distracted with the news feed to care.  A quinjet had been found in the Las Vegas airport and he chuckles, shaking his head. He didn’t take Steve as a mourn yourself in Vegas kind of guy but if it helped, it helped. It’s only seconds later that Sam is spitting out the coffee, cursing under his breath.

“Did you make this watery crap!?” he asks, taking the coffee pot and pouring it into the sink.

“Tony. He said my pot was too strong.” Bucky chuckles and Sam nods, before frowning and looking back at him.

“Where the hell is Y/N? She’s the one thats figured out the recipe for making good coffee that pleases all of us.”

Bucky shrugs.

“Your guess is as good as mine.”


You watched as Steve roamed the room in his boxers, looking for the small paper before you hear him exclaim,

“Aha!”

He bends over, his ass stretching underneath the sheer fabric and you look away, taking in the decor as he picks up the thin paper.

What the hell had gotten into you?

He walks back to the bed as you sit up, the large stiff cotton shirt he wore with his tux the night before falling loosely over your body. He tries to ignore the haphazard way you had buttoned it up, exposing enough of your cleavage to draw a response from him as you leaned over his broad shoulders. Or the way your hair smelled as it brushed against his exposed skin. The same thought echoed in his brain.

What the hell had gotten into him?

“What does it say?” you bite your lip reading the document before groaning.

“Shit!” he flinches hearing you curse and you mumble a quick apology before continuing, “This is official. We definitely got married last night. No random marriage hiccup here.”

You sigh as you lean over the nightstand, drinking the expensive coconut water you had found in the rooms fridge. It was a worthy ten dollars, soothing the small throbbing in your head. Steve had mentioned he had been drunk off of Asgardian ale and that you probably had a sip, causing the massive pain pounding throughout your body.

You could only agree.

Steve; however, was thriving, his drunken stupor burned out of him minutes after he woke up.

Stupid, super soldier serum.

“So…..what does that mean?” he asks uncertainly and you can’t help but give a small laugh, amused by the worry lines creasing his forehead. Not that they would stick.

Steve’s innocence was always something you found adorable.

“Means that I am officially Y/N Rogers. Congratulation - you have a wife!”

He can’t help but laugh, a genuine smile spreading across his face and for once this morning, a small light of happiness seeps through. You were worried about him. You knew how much Sharon meant to him. This wasn’t helping. Part of you was worried that the scowls that had cast itself across his features had to deal with the disappointment of being married to you.

Though that shouldn’t matter. You liked Bucky. Everyone knew that.

Except, of course, Bucky.

“Well, while this is one of the best honors I can add to my life experiences this isn’t right,” he turns to you, his calm blue eyes looking into your own.

“You deserve better than marrying some old guy in a sketchy Vegas chapel. At least you should be able to remember it.”

You nod your head, the smile still unable to leave your face.

“Well,” you crawl back to him, placing your chin on his shoulders, feeling his muscles tense underneath you. God this man was built.

“I’d rather have my random marriage experience with you than anyone else. Could you imagine if I accidentally married Thor. God of obliviousness. He’d be a string of questions from the moment we got up to find ourselves in this mess to the second I divorce his demi-god ass.”

“Language…” Steve says under his breath though he’s chuckling and then his eyes lock on yours again. There’s something different this time. Curiosity and something else. Something you can’t put your finger on.

You’re unaware that your faces were getting dangerously close to each other until you hear a loud bang at the door. It only takes Steve seconds  to respond, blocking your body from the intrusion, before the door bursts open in a small cloud of smoke. Natasha walks in, an amused smile on her face as she takes in Steve’s semi-naked state.

“Steve.” she calmly says, crossing her arms in amusement. You try to hide your body further behind his large frame before Tony is walking in, the mask of his suit lifting with Roadie not far behind him.

“Morning Captain. Don’t mean to burst in on you like this - I know that you probably wanted to check out the breakfast buffet downstairs -heard it crazy delicious,” he staring down Steve with angry eyes and you groan, Steve easily covering it up with a cough, “But I came to retrieve some property. You know, the quin jet you absconded with.”

Steve stands tall, giving a curt nod as Natasha takes in the room. The tux, the wedding dress, the empty champagne bottle, the second pair of legs hiding behind Steve’s.

“Steve….didn’t take you and Sharon for a random Vegas type.”  she says, cutting the silence.

This causes Tony to snap toward Natasha and then back to Steve. Steve’s jaws clenches and he gives a slow sigh before mumbling,

“…not with Sharon.”

“Really?” Both Natasha, Roadie and Tony ask simultaneously and you know you’re busted. You give one last sigh before stepping from behind him, lifting your arms up in surrounding and giving an uncertain smile

“Surprise?” you say weakly.

do u ever wonder..what happened after the gang went to family fight? like how did they drag dennis up from the floor? who calmed him down? who drove him home? does dennis have breakdowns like that often ? does mac has special things he does to calm him down? did the gang make fun of him on the way back or do they ~know~ to say nothing when hes like that? my point is…mac drove him home and put him to bed and laid down next to him and dennis cried and mac pulled him into his chest and wrapped his big boy arm around his back and reassured him that its fine but mac knows its not fine bc he always falls into depressive episodes after those breakdowns and stops eating and doesn’t want to go to the bar and mac has to carry his bony body from the living room floor to his room and clean his bloody knuckles because he’s always breaking the bathroom mirror.

What is Self-Care and Why is it Important?

Self-care is addressing the needs of your body, whether it be physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. Because we are all built differently, self-care isn’t going to look the same for all of us. For some, self-care is gathering the strength to get out of bed and take a shower while for others it’s finding 15 minutes in their busy day to sit alone outside. There is no RIGHT way to self-care only YOUR way. So it’s essential that you listen to your body and allow it to lead you towards what you need in order to care for yourself.

As stated above, there are 4 areas of yourself that require acts of self-care to stay in balance and working properly. Though they are separated, they are also very much connected. Ignoring one area has the potential to negatively affect the others so it’s important to scan through all aspects of yourself and not disregard any. Below is a further explanation of each area and examples of how to self-care.

  • Physical - The physical refers to the physical body and out of all 4 areas it’s probably the easiest to spot when it’s out of sorts. It’s also the area society puts the most focus on. Sickness, pain, exhaustion, fatigue, soreness, and just an overall sense of feeling like crap are some indicators that you need some self-care in the physical area. Some examples of self-care are adding healthier foods into your diet or making sure you are getting enough of each of the essential vitamins and minerals, doing some kind of physical activity (even just taking a walk outside), adjusting your sleep cycle so that you are getting enough GOOD sleep, taking a warm bath to soothe tired and achy muscles, and most importantly RESTING! Your body is sacred and when you treat it as such the world becomes a lot less formidable.
  • Mental - Sadly, mental health is still struggling to get out of the shadow of physical health. Theres so much stigma on mental health that a lot of times this area goes untouched which can cause the other areas to fall apart regardless of how much self-care you throw at them. So let me stress with bold italics to make it clear: MENTAL HEALTH IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS PHYSICAL HEALTH!!! Okay one more time just in case anyone missed it. MENTAL HEALTH IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS PHYSICAL HEALTH!!! Whew, glad we got that out of the way now we can continue. Mental and physical health are equals in regards to our overall health especially because they are strongly linked. It’s been my own experience that when one is off the other is soon to follow, but thankfully it also works in the opposite direction. Improving one will also help improve the other. So a lot of the examples of self-care listed for physical can also apply to mental. Though that doesn’t work for everyone or it will only get you part of the way. It’s important to understand that we all have our own individual struggles with mental health, with some being more severe than others especially when you take into account our home lives, our environments, our experiences, and of course our access to healthcare. So this area especially is going to have many different forms of self-care and like I said before, there is no right way just your way. Some examples for mental self-care are seeing a professional, taking your medication as instructed, finding healthy coping mechanisms, being kind and patient with yourself, meditation, rewarding yourself for even the littlest of achievements, and allowing yourself to have bad days without punishing yourself.
  • Emotional - So some might think that the emotional should tie into mental and though it is true that emotional and mental have an EXTREMELY close link, emotional can operate outside of the influence of mental allowing it to be its own area. Other than mental and physical, the emotional aspect is deeply connected to our life experiences and our interactions with people. So in a lot of cases when our emotions are in a state of chaos it’s an indicator we haven’t properly dealt with a painful experience. Or we are currently experiencing a traumatic event or relationship. When your emotions are running rampant the most crucial and mandatory act of self-care is to LISTEN! It may seem like the emotional is just being a cruel bitch, but it’s actually trying to tell you something important. Its sounding an alarm, trying to bring your focus to an area that desperately needs your attention. It’s like when your body sends pain signals to your brain when you have a wound or a broken bone. It’s telling you that there’s parts of your body that needs healing. The same goes for your emotions. They are telling you that there’s issues that you haven’t yet healed from or even dealt with. So absolutely part of your emotional self-care should be allowing yourself to heal from whatever it is that’s caused you trauma, pain, and distress. Other examples of self-care for the emotional aspect are journaling, confiding in someone you trust, allowing yourself to cry, treating yourself to what comforts you, finding or creating a place you feel safe and relaxed in, movie marathons or netflix binge watching, and being very gentle and loving with yourself. Oh and it’s also important to note that for some of us it’s natural to get emotional flare ups, especially for those of us who menstruate. In those cases, it’s still imperative to listen to your emotions (and body) which are most likely telling you to rest and take it easy! Seriously, one of the best acts of self-care for any (and really all) areas is to allow yourself time to really rest.
  • Spiritual - It’s my personal opinion that this is the hardest area to gain access to yet it also has the greatest ability to positively affect not only the other areas, but your own relationship with self-care itself. I have to say feeding my spiritual area was a game changer for me. It’s the reason I made self-care a vital part of my life and it’s the reason I’m here typing up this post. Its allowed me to start healing from my abusive relationship (emotional), its helped me learn to cope with and control my anxiety and depression (mental), and its aided me with treating my body like the sacred temple it is (physical). Now i’m not saying that all your problems will be fixed by putting all your efforts and focus into the spiritual, I just think when you make taking care of yourself part of your religion or practice, you are much more likely to see it as a priority. So ways to self-care the spiritual are being outside and soaking in nature, going to a place of worship, earthing, sitting outside during the full moon, going to the beach, meditation, sit with a deity or some kind of higher power, enjoy some silence, and spend time in sacred space (create sacred space if you don’t already have one).

I also want to stress that self-care should be a part of your everyday life not just when one of the areas goes into chaos. Getting into the habit of checking in with yourself routinely and practicing self-care daily makes it much less likely that you will even reach the point of complete chaos or at the very least you will find stability a lot quicker. Though in order to truly make a habit of practicing self-care the key concept that you absolutely need to accept and embrace is that YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! Repeat it. Say it right now! Say I AM WORTH IT! You are 100% worth dedicating time and energy to yourself! You are 100% deserving of love, patience, rewards, and kindness from yourself! You are 100% entitled to all the self-care and self-love you need. You are worth it, my friends. You are so worth it. Now go give yourself some much deserved love and care!

~Jessie

slowly, and then all at once

It’s not like Jyn does it on purpose. It’s like her body is an iPhone, and she constantly ignores the low battery warnings whenever they pop up, until at some point, it just shuts off altogether on its own.

Cassian knows full well that it’s not exactly a healthy system. Even so, Jyn seems to have found a way to make her body adapt somehow.

It’s probably sheer stubbornness, Cassian thinks wryly.

Even so, it doesn’t mean he’s just going to leave her like that.

Or, the one where Jyn has a habit of falling asleep around the apartment, and Cassian develops a habit of carrying her back to bed. Because he’s a Gentleman, and a Good Friend.

[READ ON AO3]

DIY: the Poppet Edition

Since people apparently really liked Ada, my joy poppet, I thought that maybe some of you would like a tutorial… So here goes!

Disclaimer: Since I’m in the broom closet and that I’m a real life dollmaker, I tend to make my poppets as complex and “clean looking” as possible so that people assume it’s just yet another of my dolls. You definitely don’t have to do it the way I do it, or even to follow a remotely similar aesthetic.

You’ll need:

• some paper
• a pen
• scissors
• fabric (stretchy is best for beginners)
• a sewing needle and some thread
• herbs
• crystals
• small items
• a taglock (since I only do these poppets for my own use, I use a small lock of my hair)
• stuffing
• something blunt and long, like a screwdriver.

First, draw the body’s silhouette on paper. I try to make mine fairly symmetrical because it makes creating the clothes easier but it’s not necessary. Also, you should think about what you’re planning to use your poppet for. For example, Ada’s job is to bring more happiness in my life and help me fight off anxiety, so she’s shaped like a cat because cats make me happy. Lucia, which I’ll be building in this tutorial, is a mourning poppet: her job is to help me mourn my father, dull the pain and help me accept that everything must end, so she’ll be shaped like a skeleton. Think about what your poppet is for, choose its body accordingly.

Then do an arm and a leg the same way. As you can see, I tried giving her a little hand and curved the foott, but a simple rectangle will do the job just as well. Her leg here is super short because I’m going to make her boots out of polymer clay. I don’t need it to be as long as it should since I’ll glue the boots on later.

Now pick a fabric and draw each part twice. Chose the color accordingly to your poppet’s purpose and your personal taste. Also, if your poppet is going to be small like Ada and/or you’re a beginner… Pick some stretchy fabric, like an old t-shirt! Afterward you’ll have to turn it inside out and the stiffer the fabric, the more you’ll cry. Trust me.

Using an old t-shirt you don’t wear anymore makes your poppet even more personal! Yet another side benefit of loving yourself instead of keeping on using linen because you love the feel of it, but your poppets are pretty much drenched by tears of frustration by the time you’re done. Why do I keep doing that.

Now cut the silhouettes off, leaving some wiggle room. If you use a fabric that doesn’t fray, like an old t-shirt hint hint, you don’t have to leave a huge amount of fabric on the side. If you picked something that was probably weaved in hell, like satin, get your pinking shears out. if you don’t have pinking shears, use some fabric glue to stop the fraying. If you don’t have fabric glue, well. Good luck.

I sorta forgot to take pictures of the in-between stage, sorry. So uh. Just sew the two body silhouettes together, and each limbs, folding them on themselves. Remember to leave a hole big enough so that you can turn everything inside out.

Don’t worry too much about it being perfect: as long as it’s tight enough to not spill the stuffing, it’s good enough. While I try to make my seam lines as discreet as possible (to be more discreet about my practice), I find contrasting seams super appealing visually. So if you want to experiment with that, knock yourself out.

Start stuffing the limbs. For Lucia, I’m using the stuffing I stole from an old pillow. For Ada, I used leftover wool because that’s what I had handy. For others I used rice. Whatever works for you. As you can see, I’m using a screwdriver to push each little cotton ball all the way down. Don’t stuff the arms too much, or your poppet won’t be able to lower it arms. Unless that’s what you want.

For the body, I usually just stuff the head and the bottom of the body with cotton balls and then keep the belly and chest empty so I can fill it up with herbs and items. You could fully stuff the poppet with herbs if you’d like, or just mix a pinch with the cotton balls. See what works best for you.

Here Lucia already has one arm sewed on because I got impatient.

Here, I got my herbs ready in my mortar and put them in a small cup for easy access. Start filling up the poppet’s chest and belly (but not too much, you want some space left). Just so you know, that step tends to be pretty messy so… Do that somewhere where getting herbs everywhere isn’t much of a problem.

Pick herbs related to your poppet’s mission. For Lucia, I used linden (grief-relief after death), thyme (provides strength and courage, wards off grief), lavender (eases heartbreaks, soothing) and sage (self purification, deals with grief and loss, removes negative energy).

I didn’t take the previous step in pictures, because the items I picked where pretty personal and I don’t feel like showing them. But I can list them.

Here’s what I put inside of her:
• pink quartz (for love)
• a skull bead (for death)
• a taglock (I always use a lock of my hair tied with a red thread)
• something that belonged to my dad (it was hard to let go of it)

Again, pick everything according to the poppet’s mission. If you give yours the job to ward off curses or to help you cast spells, your list will be probably very different from mine. Take time to research what you want to use, think of how it symbolizes her mission.

I sewed on the limbs because I felt like it. You can do this later if you want, it doesn’t really matter.

So now the step shown in this picture is “the letter”. It’s an important step because that’s where you state the poppet’s purpose. And it’s also where you name your poppet (names have power, take time to think about it)! It’s not a very complicated step, though, you just need a pen and some paper.

My letters usually go this way:

“Dear (name),

You are my (purpose) poppet. You will always do (thing). You will always help me with (thing) by doing (thing). I give you this (crystal) to symbolize (thing), this (item) to symbolize (thing), this (precious thing) to symbolize (thing). I also give you my (taglock) to symbolize our bound together.

With Love,

(my name)”

Personalize it whichever way you see fit. Fold the letter tightly, put it inside the poppet, finish filling it with the herbs.

Now that the poppet’s all filled up and ready, sew close the hole and sew on the limbs if you haven’t done it already. You can now give your poppet a face. You can embroider it, paint it with fabric paint or acrylic, or use beads, or markers, or buttons, or anything you want. Be as creative as you want.

Once you’re done, you can add a sigil on it (I like to do it some place others can’t see, like under the clothes), and give some hair and some clothes to your little one. Or don’t! It all comes down on your instincts now, what feels appropriate and what doesn’t. Even if your poppet isn’t perfect, take some time to appreciate its existence. At first there wasn’t anything but a bunch of supplies and you made SOMETHING. And if that’s not magic, I don’t know what is.

As you can see on that picture, Lucia isn’t finished yet, but I’m working on her clothes and accessories right now. Once she’s fully clothed and ready, the only thing she’ll need will be to be activated, so I’ll leave her to charge on my altar for one night. And in the morning, I’ll wake her up by kissing her forehead so she can start doing her job.

To insecure self typed INXJs (and others needing insight in Fi/Fe distinction)

SUBMITTED by rainismyfavouritecolour

This is a personal, very recent discovery that I’m indeed INFJ. It took me a very long time to understand, but now that I’m finally here, I want to share this with you.

Maybe you’ve been told you don’t look like an INFJ. Maybe you can’t fully identify with hunches or always being right. You might have read a ton of Ni vs Ne descriptions and found the Ni one always more accurate, but were too filled with self doubt to really go with it.

There’s no surefire method I can tell you will work for you, other than continuous study of the functions and yourself. But maybe some of what I’ve written will help you identify yourself better. This is my very subjective experience only, but I’m sharing it in hopes that this will help at least some of you.

— O —

On Ni:

I get hunches. Constantly. And I go with them so fast, I don’t even notice. It’s an immediate reaction, a bolt of lightning hitting me from above. The reason I didn’t realize it before was because I was much more insecure and self doubting. I didn’t pay enough attention to this happening, nor did I trust it. Instead of implicitly trusting myself, I constantly analyzed and questioned, wondered if I was wrong - running around in constant circles. But tuning into myself a bit more, I caught it. I took it for so granted and natural before, I didn’t see what was meant by ‘hunches’.

I don’t think about it, in fact, I will usually be elsewhere with my thoughts or preoccupied with something completely different, and suddenly the solution to some thing I’d been worrying about appears (provided I have enough/correct info). That’s Ni.

I easily see parallels and similarities between things that may not appear similar at all. That sounds Ne but you need to pay attention to what your mind does with all the impressions you take in. If they converge, that’s Ni. If they diverge, that’s Ne. See, when I draw parallels, separate entities become essentially the same thing. They carry the same meaning, become a symbol for the same thing. Ne would likely assign two (or several) different meanings to a single object instead.

Another thing is that it’s stated pretty much everywhere that Ni is always right. That’s false. Ni THINKS it’s right. It doesn’t have to be. That’s an important distinction to make. Ni’s accuracy largely depends how much accurate information is available. The more there is, the more likely it will be that Ni actually will be right. The less information is considered, the more likely it is that Ni will completely miss the mark.

So, coupled with how insecure I was, how was that stereotype anything I could much identify with at all? I’m very well aware I could be wrong, even believe I will be, because that’s what the majority of my life taught me to believe. It’s really hard to trust yourself if you’ve got no self belief. If you don’t know how to.

So, some advice for insecure Ni-doms, or really anyone - work on trusting yourself, on self belief. Take a step back and stop questioning/analyzing. It’ll become clearer in time and your confidence will grow.

On Fe:

I display a number of behavioral characteristics that are both Fi and Fe. That made it difficult to identify with either over the other. What decided it for me though, was how I process emotion. Of course, Feeling functions aren’t primarily about emotion but that’s an important part not to be overlooked. I use Extroverted Feeling simply because I don’t process emotion internally. I can’t. I need to, ideally, talk them out to truly understand what I’m feeling, the exact nuances of it, why I’m feeling it etc. I share them naturally, openly, one of the few things about me that actually are external. I’m vaguely aware of my feelings, when I have them, but trying to figure it out in my head is headache inducing. I simply don’t work that way. Writing my feelings out works as well, but there seems to be something in the act of sharing or hearing it verbalized that makes it a better solution than just writing.

Fi, introverted Feeling, cannot do this so easily. It feels everything much more internally, and sharing emotion is extremely uncomfortable, impossible even. This is a very clear distinction I can see between real life Fi vs Fe users, more easily in high Feeling types. Fe will tell you exactly what they’re feeling, raw and in the moment. Fi will do that indirectly by hurling insults or accusing you of things. Emotion is obvious in both but one is direct and to the point, while the other is less so.

If I talk about my feelings, they see it as whining about my problems. They don’t see that this is how I process and identify my feelings and problems in the first place. To them, it’s an unnecessary and tedious thing to do.

Now, Fe values are about making sure other people are comfortable first while Fi is about making themselves comfortable first. The reason I use Fe is because of how natural and easy it is for me to look out for how people feel/may feel. That’s not because I value being kind and considerate. It’s instinctive. It just happens.

An example of this is how I react to criticism. I don’t wonder if it’s true or how I feel about it, but panic about how to best adjust my behavior to remedy whatever the criticism was about. I adjust myself to make the other person more comfortable. For example, my family once remarked on how odd it was that I continuously, naturally explained my reasoning behind doing certain things (thanks to one of Charity’s posts I realized that was Fe - sharing ‘emotions’ openly). I’ve grown up in a pure Fi family. No Fe whatsoever. So, doing that was perceived as me being defensive which never even occurred to me. Taking this as an unconscious command of 'don’t do it, it’s making me uncomfortable’, I did away with that. I still want to do it and often catch myself in the middle of it - but wanting to maintain outer harmony is so unconscious, it’s like breathing air. You don’t pay attention or aren’t even aware but it’s still happening.

This kind of stuff has been influencing me so much, I blended in with my Fi family. I now superficially appear like a Fi user despite not being one. Often, I’m told I look like an IXFP. My empathy is so high and unconscious, I take on the attitudes and emotions of others and don’t even realize it until slapped in the face with it. I’m just learning that I’ve adopted a lot that way. The differences only become apparent if you know me (and MBTI) well enough. I’m simply unable to do anything without considering what consequences this may have on someone else.

Now, I’m not the stereotypical host. I’m not particularly warm or fuzzy unless you know me well. That’s because my brand of Fe doesn’t care primarily whether you’re physically comfortable, something that probably has to do with with low Se, but if you’re okay emotionally. That you feel safe and comfortable, unjudged and not rushed. That you feel understood. I want to make sure you’re feeling good. I instinctively wait for others to 'give permission’ before proceeding, all because of this unconscious need to be considerate, even if I really want to do it. Like turning on the AC when it’s hot. My sister and mother just go for it while I always either ask if it’s okay with them and wait until they say yes, or silently consider whether one of them has a cold or whatnot, if the AC will make them feel worse. If they object, I don’t do it.

Additionally, my 'values’ change and expand constantly. Sure, I’ve got a few that are pretty set, but generally, if you can make me understand, it becomes adopted into my world view and values. Live and let live, for example, is a pretty Fi value. Fe is about collective values which is why 'live and let live’ can be bypassed in favor of 'the greater good’. The individual can be ignored as long as the majority are taken care of. I remember my sister telling me how intolerant I was being by not going by 'live and let live’ - now, it’s a natural part of how I think. I can’t even pinpoint when it became part of me, but it did.

On Ti:

Aah, Ti. How I love and loathe thee. Truth be told, I’ve probably been stuck in a Ni-Ti loop for a really, really long time. I still am in one. To keep it short and simple -

Ti needs to understand something before it can apply it/is taken in. It takes apart a thing into its single elements, examines each one from all angles until fully understood, and by the end can put the whole thing back together any way it wishes. It continually adjusts itself with each piece of incoming information, making sure its always consistent with its inner logic. Ti asks 'does this make sense to me?’

I have never been able to apply any concept until I fully understood it, going by exactly that process.

On Se:

The ultimate blind spot. I get lost embarrassingly easy to the point of getting anxiety attacks. My body coordination is complete crap. I continuously run into walls or door frames (it gets worse the more I try concentrating on how to avoid it). I cannot react right away but need time to process. Try to force me and I become catatonic, unresponsive. I slow down and come to a standstill, a mental stutter and state of paralysis.

I’m wary of physical intimacy to the extreme. I’m quite disconnected from my body or the physical world. The line between my thoughts, imagination and reality is blurred and very easily questioned. But solitary exercise or walks are amazing. They make me quiet my mind until I’m left with nothing but pure physical sensations and the inner peace and calm it fills me with.

— O —

I hope this has been at least a little bit helpful.

I want to thank Charity for her amazing explanations, her infinite patience with putting up with so many of my (sometimes really stupid) questions, and finally for letting me post this.

Charity note: there are no stupid questions. :)

office parties and painful memories

pairing: yoongi x reader
word count: 2.4k

    → listen i don’t know what this is. i can’t defend it. i have no idea. this is a shitpost. this is a circus of a fic. the worst. the absolute worst. i don’t know what this is. it’s specks. yeah, specks.


The first time Yoongi sees you, you’re standing by the piano with his mother in your navy blue dress and red shoes that sparkled so brightly that it always looked like you were walking on stars. He didn’t know yet, but he’d grow to love the bouncy pigtails that rested on your shoulders and your big eyes, which were filled to the brim with wanderlust and a childlike curiosity.

“Yoongi plays the piano?” you asked his mother, shyly tracing the bars of white and black.

“He’s very good, too.” she confirms, smiling empathetically before turning her head to the doorframe, meeting the deep, shy eyes behind raven locks. “Yoongi, you’ve come downstairs. This is Y/N, her family just moved in next door.”

His eyes only meet yours briefly before panic bleeds into his dark eyes.

All girls had cooties.

But not you.

Keep reading

BTS Reaction | Meeting your pet dog

BTS boys reactions to meeting your dog for the first time. I may just do one with cats later… let me know if you want it *-*

Kim Seokjin

Originally posted by jitamin

As soon as you dog was in the room Jin would be jumping around, trying to get its attention. You watched with giggles as the boy moved from side to side, your dog moving around with him. It looked almost comical, how excited both your dog and Jin were, but it warmed your heart.

“How have I never met you big guy? Was bunny hiding you from me?”

Kim Namjoon

Originally posted by joonjuly

Your dog ran too Namjoon as the rapper crotched down, his hands instantly coming to meet the animal’s soft fur as he smiled. He played with your pet excitedly, making cute noises and laughing every time your dog barked back.

You watched both with a soft smile, a blush creeping onto your face as Namjoon looked at you,

“Who would have known that he would be as cute as you?”

Min Yoongi

Originally posted by apgujeon

It didn’t matter how grumpy he was, how sleepy, how annoyed, as soon as your dog was in the room, Yoongi was smiling. A sweet smile opened on his face as your dog ran towards him, instantly in trans with Yoongi. You watched carefully as the boy started asking your dog all sort of cute questions, making you giggle

“Excuse me, we are having a conversation here” Yoongi groaned as he picked up your dog, taking him away while he told the puppy, “she doesn’t get it fluffball”

Jung Hoseok

Originally posted by sugutie

As soon as your puppy was in the room Hoseok was swooning, he was all over the small creature, walking around it and crouching down to its level.

“Can I touch him?” he asked, eyes shining with excitement.

The puppy was so small, Hobi didn’t want to break him, but there was no way he could keep away from it for much longer

Park Jimin

Originally posted by parkjmzl

Jimin waited for your dog like a little kid waiting for presents. He sat on the ground with an excited smile on his face, but as soon as your pet was in the room he was calling it towards him, his hands itching to touch its soft fur. Jimin grin from eye to eye when he noticed that your dog seemed to like him back, 

“Do you like me? You do don’t you? You like me even more than you like (y/n) right?” he grinned as his soft eyes shifted towards you

Kim Taehyung

Originally posted by watanuki-sempai

As soon as he got to your house, Taehyung made a beeline to your dog, completely ignoring your frame as you stood there, waiting for a hug. He didn’t wait before he picked up your small puppy, snuggling it’s soft fur against his face. He spent the next couple of hours with your dog in his arms, the puppy looking pretty content with all the cuddles he was getting, but as the time for Taehyung to leave came closer he didn’t want to say goodbye

“Let’s go cutie, I know you want to come with me. We don’t need (y/n) anymore” he mocked as he got up and walked out of your house with the dog, prompting you to run after him.

Jeon Jungkook

Originally posted by cupidhitmehard

Jungkook’s eyes widened as he heard your dog’s loud barks. As soon as you large pet was in view, Jungkook braced himself, your dog’s body crashing into him a second later. He laughed loudly as your dog started licking all over his face, his large body trying to fit anywhere on top of your boyfriend. You watched with a smile as the two basically had a hug contest, a blush making its way onto your face as Jungkook smirked towards you, 

“I think you’re going to have to fight for my attention from now on”

anonymous asked:

This is just kind of a general vent: it's really frustrating when congenitally thin/attractive people post "any body is a bikini body," etc type posts. I understand embracing your body can be hard at any size (especially if you have an ed) but at the end of the day you're still considered thin and society is going to accept your thin body more than they will ever accept my fat one. Idk it's just really frustrating and a lot of it feels so false when you know people won't treat you that way

Absolutely. I think this runs in the same vein of thin people trying to be a part of the body positivity movement. It’s one thing to BE body positive, because yes everyone has insecurities, but thin people will NEVER experience the systemic pitfalls and social stigma that surrounds fatness—especially fat women.

Fat is an identity, and compounded with other oppressed identities, becomes something society makes you apologize for in a variety of ways. Not to mention the lifelong internalized hatred that can accompany people from a young age.

The majority of thin people arrive at their teens or twenties and realize “Hey, beauty standards aren’t cool.” Good job. They’re not cool. But trying to step into a movement that does not belong to you does more harm than good! Fat bodies are further erased! Imagine how much more fat bodies would be loved if thin people had not stolen “thick” and “curvy” ~aesthetics~ in order to establish brand spankin’ new beauty standards that are even MORE impossible to achieve: not just thin, but thin in the waist with an ample bosom and a huge butt and even big thighs.

Thin people: absolutely post pictures in bikinis posed however you want. You do you. Just don’t claim to be FAT just because you gained five pounds in a year. As if your conventionally attractive body is a huge slap in the face to a society that already. accepts. you.

(P.S. gaining weight and then saying you’re “still” healthy and fit devalues fat bodies because you’re essentially saying that 1) to be fatter ISN’T to be fit and healthy and 2) a body that happens to not be fit/healthy is not valuable.)

Just friends

A/N wow who knew my titles could get even shittier. okay so i dont wanna be like slacking all the time, and i know i said this fic would be up last week but my mental health has been absolutely shit so im sorry. anyway 90% is dialogue and its pretty shit but yeah here you go i guess. im lowkey proud and my goal for this fic is 300 notes (i got 280 on my last one so far). if you like please like/ reblog and send me prompts!!!

WARNINGS/ TAGS: excessive dialogue, minimal editing, lots of praise, fluffy smut, riding, friends to lovers, mentions of kickthesticks oops


Dan walked around the cafeteria in his worn out converse and ripped jeans, trying to spot which table his friends were at today. As usual they were in the very corner of the cafeteria, all huddled together and laughing. Dan sat between Byrony and Phil as soon as he reached the table. Once he placed his school lunch down on the sticky table Phil instinctively wrapped a protective arm around his best friend’s waist. Phil didn’t know it, but Dan had a huge crush on him, anyone who met them definitely knew. Thats why their friends made fun of them constantly, because Dan had told them his obvious secret.

“Tone down the PDA mate,” PJ laughed from the other side of the table.

“Oh shut up PJ, you’re just jealous because you don’t have someone you can do this with,” Phil shot back. PJ just scoffed and Dan giggled, leaning into his friends touch.

“As if, Chris clearly wants PJ to fuck him,” Dan said without thinking.

“Dan! You said you could keep a secret you dick head!” Chris blushed violently and hid behind his own hands.

“Wait what?!” PJ exclaimed as if it wasn’t obvious. Everyone laughed except for Chris, who was still hiding. PJ took Chris’s hand from his face and held it while whispering something that no one else could hear.

“Oi, tone down the PDA mate,” Phil mocked.

“Oh shut up Phil,” Byrony but in, “So how long have you and Dan been together Phil?” Dan blushed and hid in Phil’s side. If they kept making jokes like this Phil would find out soon, and he couldn’t have that, it would ruin his friendship with Phil.

“Come on ass hat. You all know were not together and never will be,” Dan remarked.

“Mhm sure honey,”

~~

Later that day they were all going out to a movie, Dan had a backpack with a blanket and “secret” snacks to sneak in for him and Phil. Knowing them, they’d end up putting away the arm rest in the theater and cuddling while wrapped in the blanket, no matter what movie it was. Dan found it as his own personal heaven and suggested movie nights each week months ago. It was his only way to get the physical affection he craves and not be teased by Peej.

“Hey Phil, do you want to come over tonight? My mums not home, we could stay up all night.” Chris asked waiting in line for their tickets.

“Sorry mate I’m already going to Dan’s tonight.”

“Yeah to fuck!” Peej laughed at his own dumb adolescent joke. Byrony giggled and nodded her head.

“You aren’t funny dick, we’re just friends!” Dan defended.

“You literally sat in Phil’s lap on the way over here,” Byrony said while giggling more, “And he played with your hair!”

“Thats what friends do!”

“Uh huh sure”

~~

During the movie Dan had somehow migrated into Phils lap again. Phil was playing with his hair with one hand and rubbing agonizingly slow circles on Dan’s hip with the other. Dan had no clue how Phil did this and still somehow payed attention to the movie. The entire time he buried his head in Phils neck and he was imagining fucking Phil. He knows its wrong to think about these things while he’s in his best friends lap but he cant help it.

Slowly Dan started to grow hard, he shook his head and tried to think about anything else. grandma grandma grandma.

“You okay babe?” oh yeah, another thing, they always called each other babe and baby, but they’re just friends mind you.

“Mhm just tired,” Dan faked a yawn and snuggled farther into Phil’s neck.

“Go to sleep then, I’ll carry you out to the car later and wake you up when we get back to your house.”

“Mmk darlin, night.” Although Dan was faking the yawn he was quite tired, and he wanted to stay up late tonight. He decided it was best to just stick with the lie and go to sleep on Phils chest.

~~

Dan was currently snoring lightly on Phil’s chest and muttering something incomprehensible while being carried out to the car.

“Oi, wake princess up,” Chris snickered.

“I’ll just sit him on my lap and buckle him in with me. Let him sleep asshole.”

“You know he likes you right?” Byrony stated matter of factly.

“Yeah right, stop joking guys, you know I like him, theres no need to get my hopes up,” Phil scoffed and sped up towards the car.

Their three friends shook their heads behind him. Dan and Phil would find out eventually. Right?

~~

“P-Phil,” Dan said lightly while tightening his grip on him. Phil thought that Dan had woken up so he responded with a small “hm?” but got no response. They had just dropped off Byrony and now were heading towards Dan’s house. Since Phil didn’t get an answer he just assumed Byrony slamming the door woke up Dan for a split second.

That was until Dan grinded against Phil’s thigh. Phil felt a surge of arousal shoot through his body. Dan did it again and Phil gasped. Dan opened his mouth to moan again but Phil quickly covered his mouth. He couldn’t believe this. His best friend, not to mention his crush, was having a wet dream. In his lap. In the back of their friends car. Moaning Phil’s name! Phil debated waking him up, or just waiting until they got home and ignoring the whole situation. His awkwardness decided the second option was best.

Only seconds later Dan was grinding again and panting against Phil’s hand which was still covering his mouth. Phil prayed to every god he could think of that this car ride would be over soon because he was starting to get hard under his sleeping friend. He knew that he shouldve moved his hands from where they were on Dan’s hips because he didnt want to invade his friends space during a dream like this. Phil’s self conscious had a different idea though and moved his hands somewhere worse. Dan’s plump ass. He knew it wasnt right but he couldnt fight his instincts. Dans grinding slowed, but only so that he could push back into Phil’s hands.

Phil squeezed hard and Dan’s eyes shot open.

“Oh no,” Phil whispered almost completely silent.

“Ph-”

“Okay guys, we’re here.” Peej announced from the front seat, “See you guys Monday. Have a good weekend.”

Dan slowly and cautiously crawled out of Phils lap, careful to hide his hard on from his friends as they said goodbye. When Chris and PJ pulled out of Dan’s drive way Dans mouth failed to make a sound even though he opened it.

“I’m so sorry Dan! I dont know what i was thinking but you were grinding on me- and- an- and you moan- moaned my name! My body was just reacting I’m so so so sorry!!” Phil spat out quickly.

“Hey, ba-Phil, don’t worry, its okay, I lik-” Dan paused and didnt finish his thought, “Lets just go inside. We dont have to talk about it if you dont want to okay babe- Phil.”

“Oh god I’m so sorry for making things awkward I didnt mean to but you kept going and oh god im so sorry-”

“Has anyone ever told you that sometimes you need to shut up Philly?”

“Make me,” Phil shot back but instantly regretted it. “Oh my god I didnt mean t-”

He was cut off by Dan’s lips against his.

“Do you really think you touching my ass bothered me? You even said yourself that i was moaning your name idiot.”

“Shh,” Phil joked and grabbed Dans hand. The kiss had boosted Phil’s self confidence, and he thought back to what his friends said about Dan having a crush on him. “How about we go up to your room baby? We can handle the little problem I have and sort our relationship out afterwards.”

“O-okay,” Dans usually dominating voice was small and timid now. He led Phil into the house and tugged his hands up the stairs. He wasnt leading because Phil didnt know where to go, of course he did, but because Phil was going at the slowest pce possible so that Dan would have to wait. “Please Phil, come onnn~” he whined.

Once they reached Dans room he flung the door open. “Calm down baby, you’ll get what you want if you wait.”

“But I want you now-” Dan was going to continue complaining like a child but he was cut off by a kiss.

Phil pulled away and smirked,“Thats pay back for cutting me off earlier dick.”

“Philly! No cussing!”, he playfully hit him on the chest. He was glad that his crush changed nothing. Hell, him grinding on his friend while having a wet dream changed nothing. They were still best friends and this moment made that clear to Dan. Phil smiled goofily at him and leaned in again, only to end up kissing Dan’s cheek though because Dan moved at last minute. Dan giggled and did it again when Phil attempted another kiss.

“Oh whatever babe, now come on, I wanna kiss you more.”

“Hmm- Nope.” Dan slid out of Phil’s grip and giggled as he ran across the room and leapt onto his bed. Phil chased after him, laughing also. He sat down next to Dan and just gazed at his friends eyes.

“You’re so gorgeous Dan,” he said as he reached out and cupped his face, “Can I kiss you again?”

“I dunno can you?” Dan teased. Phil rolled his eyes and leaned in slowly. Their lips collided and Dan swore he could feel his heart beating out of his chest. It all seemed so real, Phil’s hand in his hair, Phil’s lips on his own. Quickly he became paranoid. Even though they had this moment of goofing around would their friendship change after tonight? Would they end badly? Apparently Phil could hear him thinking because he pulled back.

“Dan, baby calm down. We can stop if you want, we dont have to do anything. We can even pretend this never happened if thats what you want. I would never do anything to hurt you love.”

“I’m just scared- I want you though, now come here again,” They kissed at Dans pace and soon Dan leaned back and rested his head against the pillows. “Will you touch me? Please? I dont care what you do. Just please-”

“Of course princess. Can I straddle you?” Dan nodded and Phil climbed into his lap. He lowered his hands down to Dan’s sides and looked up for consent before putting his hands under Dan’s shirt. It was all so intimate, Dan couldnt help but moan at the light little touches running up and down his chest.

“Please- just give me more please baby I’ll do anything.”

“We’re gonna go slow okay? Just wait and you’ll get what you want.”

Phil took Dans shirt off after asking if it was okay and slowly started to kiss over his chest. “You’re so pretty, have such a nice chest and a lovely stomach.” He pinched Dan’s side in a joking manor and smiled up at the giggling boy.

Dan blushed and looked away,“Oh come on youre just saying that,”

“I know you just found out I fancy you, but ever since we met I have thought that. Youre truly breathtaking Dan, and if youll let me I’d really really like to touch you right now.” He kissed down Dans stomach, closer and closer to his pant line.

“Plea-” His plead was cut off by a loud moan as Phil kissed his dick through his skinny jeans. “More. More More More Please!”

Phil unzipped Dans skinny jeans and started to pull them off. They got stuck at mid thigh and Dan burst out laughing. “Stop laughing you dick!” That only made him laugh more. Phil silenced him though by mouthing over Dan’s briefs. Dan gasped as soon as he felt the warm sensation through his underwear and Phil could feel his friends cock twitch.

“How far do you wanna go love?”

“Can- I- um-” Phil was sliding Dans skinny jeans off fully as Dan was attempting to speak.

“Mhmm?”

“Can you fuck me?” Dan said in one breath. Phil smiled up at him while he took his own shirt off.

“How about you ride me? That way you can control the pace baby. Does that sound nice?” Dan glanced at Phil’s exposed chest and was only half listening when he nodded. “Have you ever prepped before? If you know what im trying to say…” Phil stared down at his feet and blushed as he was saying this. Dans confidence had shot through the roof with all of the compliments Phil was giving him so he decided to go with his cocky response.

“Of course I have, I did this morning in the shower. Thinking about your nice thick cock. I want it everywhere. In my hand, in my mouth, in my ass.” Phil groaned and hurried to take off his own skinny jeans while Dan kept going. “I even did after school too, before the movie. I was thinking about you touching me the whole time. Thinking about your fingers trailing all up and down my chest. Thinking about your lips nipping at my neck-” he was cut off by Phil doing just that. He left a love bite right above his shoulder and then carried on with more all over Dan’s neck. He left one right below his jaw, one on his collarbone. Anywhere he could reach.

“So I dont have to stretch you then?” Phil laughed in a teasing way and asked Dan where he kept the lube.

“Be-bed side table-” Dan blushed as Phil pulled Dan’s boxers down.

“Hm? Why are you so nervous? What else am i going to find?” He said casually as he slipped off his own boxers and reached for the drawer.

When Phil opened the bed side table he expected pornos, or the pair of joke hand cuffs PJ got Dan last christmas. But not all of these. No. He would never guess that dan would have these.

Lets just have a run down of what exactly Phil was looking at. A drawer full of bright pink and purple dildos. And vibrators. And lacy panties. Black ones to be specific. And two bottles of empty lube and one fairly empty bottle of lube. His jaw dropped as his picked up a huge vibrator. Phil would say that hes a pretty big guy down there but this fucking vibrator was at least ten inches.

Dan hid behind his hands as Phil examined all of the different vibes and such.

“Hm.. maybe we’ll have fun with those later, but for right now I think I’ll just have you ride me.” He smirked again cheekily and Dan just rolled his eyes and grabbed the last bottle of lube and a condom.

“Shut up and turn over so I can ride you, you dick,” he said as he rolled the condom onto Phils dick.

“Oh look at Mr.dominant coming out. Who wouldve guess you’re dominant with all of those toys in there?” Phil snickered at his own joke but Dan just hit his chest and shut him up with a kiss.

Since Dan was acting so needy Phil decided it was best to just get on with it. So he had Dan straddle him and positioned his cock right at Dan’s entrance. As Dan slowly sunk down onto the tip of Phil’s dick they both groaned. Phil had to try with all his might to keep his needy teenage body from bucking up into Dan.

“Oh god- can I go further?” Dan asked.

“Of course you can doofus.”

Dan tweaked his nipple for that comment; which was simultaneously causing pain and pleasure for Phil. He began to go further, taking in an inch at a time and pausing to groan and take a breath. It was pure agony for Phil to just sit there completely still so he tried to distract himself with praises for Dan.

“Good job baby boy, you take me so well, look so good like that.”

While Phil let these praises out Dan had nothing to do but gasp and moan. When he finally got all of Phil’s cock inside him Phil stopped with the praises and instead bit all over Dan’s neck again. The love bites from earlier were already starting to fade since they were nothing more than a little nip, but Phil was determined to leave a mark this time. He sucked and pulled at the skin with his teeth, pulling away only a couple times to kiss over the freshly bruised skin. When he was done leaving a bright red mark Dan was panting and pleading him to let him move.

Of course Phil immediately told him to go whenever he was ready so Dan began bouncing up and down. Even though Phil knew Dan was a virgin he guessed by all of the sex toys that Dan was used to having something up his ass.

“Please Phil, its not enough, I need you to fuck up into me~”

Phil listened and started to thrust up at the same time that Dan was coming down. He knew he found Dans prostate because Dan gasped and went even faster at the same angle.

“God baby you look so good, fucking yourself so good. Can’t wait to see your pretty face when you cum.”

These little comments only seemed to spur Dan on more, but soon it was too much and he was completely wrecked. He lifted himself up off of Phils cock and laid next to him.

“Phiw- is too much- need you to fuck me, m’ legs are too tired…”

“Of course they are you lazy oaf,” after his remark Phil got right to it. He slid his cock right back into Dan and started to thrust back and forth. He could see Dan getting needier by the second, begging for more and blushing and gasping. Phil was entirely blissed out by all of the sounds Dan was making and by how good it felt.

“Do you think you can cum untouched baby?” Dan nodded fiercely and moaned at the though of it. He reached behind Phil and pulled him down closer by his neck.

“Fuck- Phil I’m getting close-”

“You look so good baby, I bet you’ll look stunning when you cum. Begging for more, youll look so perfect.” Dan moaned at his words and started to grind back against Phil movements. Phil found Dans prostate again and pounded into it relentlessly, still letting little praises come out. “Such a good boy. Take me so well. You feel so good.”

Dan writhed on the sheets beneath Phil and clenched his sheets tight with both fists. “I need you Phil- need to kiss you.” Phil obliged and leaned down to kiss the needy boy beneath him while keeping the same speed.

“Are you going to come baby boy?”

Dan groaned and released as a response. He felt as if he was floating for a second. His vision got blurry as he released white streaks all over him and his best friend. When Phil saw the completely blissed out face of Dan he locked eyes with him and released inside the condom.

As Phil pulled out Dan found himself feeling empty. Even though some of his toys were huge, none of them felt that good. Phil reached over to Dan’s bedside table and grabbed some tissues that were obviously there for this reason.

“So..”

“No- no talking now please. Jus’ some cuddles please?” Dan looked up with a pleading, almost innocent look and Phil just couldnt resist. He threw out the tissues and the condom and laid next to Dan. Dan instantly wrapped his legs around Phil’s waist and arms around his neck and kissed him swiftly on the cheek. “Night cutie, we’ll talk in the morning over some pancakes and tea okay?”

“Sounds great love, goodnight.”

NCT As Things I've Said In My Groupchat
  • Ten: There should be a law against people like me giving advice on anything.
  • Doyoung: If I put half the effort I put in pretending to care about people, into actually caring, I would be a good person.
  • Taeyong: Listen I hate saying I used to do something as a kid because it means I'm not a kid anymore and just no.
  • Jaehyun: This just got kinky very fast
  • Haechan: If you die we have to like refrain from making jokes about you.
  • Taeil: Coffee represents Capital Punishment?
  • Yuta: I don't confront things, I fuck them.
  • Johnny: (at 3:14pm) It's pi time
  • Hansol: I cried. Well not really, I don't register such mild human emotions.
  • Winwin: I don't know how to react to these[compliments], should I be a basic bitch and say thanks or throw some more shade your way like an encore
  • Kun: One of these days I'm going to need an intervention.
  • Mark: My body is going through some weird shit I don't have time for, I already have to deal with a brain that can't get a grip.
  • Renjun: Amazon is such a tease.
  • Jisung: I have the coherence of an armadillo this early in the morning.
  • Jeno: I'm going to eat raw cookie dough and write fluff.
  • Chenle: ALL MY CRUSHES ARE OLDER THAN ME. wait. MOST OF MY CRUSHES ARE OLDER THAN ME.