Wow. Ok. I very much despise this ask. It’s been sitting in my inbox for awhile now, and I think it’s time to give it a swing.
Tumblr has a problem that often gets called “call out culture,” but I think I will be slightly more mean about right now and describe as “tattle-telling.“
I do want people to feel comfortable coming to me when they sense I’ve done something wrong. If I’ve fucked up in any small way, please come speak to me. That is not overreacting or anything bad. I want to hear.
If I’m interacting with someone you view as bad though, the rules change slightly. I am curating a space for you: this blog. This blog has rules for interaction and community. I’m trying to curate a certain open, welcoming environment so that folks are introduced to gaming well. But others that I’m interacting with don’t necessarily need to follow those rules in their own spaces that they make for themselves.
I don’t ask that of them. Me doing that would be real WIERD and rude in it’s least harmful state.
There are a few things I WOULD like to be informed of abt folks that I interact with. They all pretty much boil down to: if I am likely to give someone work and that person is ABUSIVE, it would be useful for me to know so that I can shut down work streams and protect my community.
But this other shit??? Fuck this.
This is censorship, and I ain’t having it, kids.
Rexoka aside, which we will get into later, let’s put this into some pretty explicit terms.
I’m a rape survivor.
I do not like content that involves noncon or dubcon. It’s highly triggering for me. There are other things that are highly triggering for me due to these circumstances. People still make this content. People still make this content with my favorite characters.
I DO NOT think this makes them bad people.
I don’t think about the people who make the content much at all.
If I were to think about them, I’d acknowledge that a non-insignificant number of nonhet-cismen are sexually abused, and many folks work things out in fiction spaces. There will be others in there who are figuring out what to do with feelings of sexual sadism. And there are lots of people on either side of the equation who have rape fantasies.
Fiction is a safe space for people to work out their stuff.
SO LONG AS PEOPLE TAG THEIR CONTENT, I have no reason to ever think about them.
Why would I? That presumes so much about their lives. That’s fucked up of me. I’m NEVER going to tell someone else, especially someone who isn’t a cishet white dude, that they can’t create a piece of fiction for their own piece of mind.
Back to tags briefly! Here’s why they’re important. Tags let me avoid things I don’t want to see. Using tools like xkit, I can block rape and noncon, and have those posts flagged and minimized in my feed. I can have power over what I see.
I hear there are ways to blacklist tags for mobile stuff too now.
I suspect the hoops Tumblr has made y'all go through to opt-out of things that trigger and squick you is in part responsible for this fan culture where ya pile onto folks who do a thing you dislike. But friends, this is an ugly look. It looks like you hating other women and non-binary folks.
Look. Back in the days of livejournal, we had this term squick. That thing squicks me. It basically means “I don’t like it and don’t want to see it” without the moralizing hoops Tumblr for some reason seems to need to go through these days. It’s OK for something to squick you. Things squick me without me having a like trauma related trigger reason.
I am squicked hard by razors. I have them blacklisted.
A notp can be a squick.
Let’s talk about Rexoka.
Some people ship this thing that you don’t like.
Your reasonings are usually two fold.
1. During a portion of Rex and Ashoka’s lives, Rex is an adult and Ashoka is a teen, so it is possible that people ship a pedo ship.
2. It takes away from queer ships.
Guys. You can blacklist the ship and not harass folks.
To the first point, it’s possible for a young Snips to have an unrequited crush on Rex. Teens have feelings
They’re also adults during rebels. I don’t know if y'all have a problem with that, but it’d be odd and ageist to me if ya did.
I’m sure there ARE gross people out there. You can block them. But that doesn’t mean the whole ship HAS to be hands down terrible.
In that one Travis book, Snips went on about how overwhelmed w/ love she was for Rex. I read that as SUPER platonic. But like. We have so much textual support for how much these people matter to each other. They matter the most. And emotions can shift in wartime. *shrugs* I don’t like telling people they can’t ship close friends.
As to point two, Holy Bi-Erasure, Batman!!
*shrugs* I love Barrissoka and Herasoka as much as the next girl. AND I hate Lux and wish none of that ever happened what terrible writing die in a fire Bonteri. But like… Hi? Bi people exist?
I guess I just don’t see how some folks doing their thing takes away from other folks doing their thing. It also confuses me as plenty do both.
You can’t know someone else’s experiences. If they tag their content, that’s all that they owe you. You now are empowered to not see what they create that has the power to harm you. Please, don’t further seek to harm them. That sort of ill wishing is drinking a poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Stop hating other noncishet white men. We need to love each other and understand each other better.