this is goin on my about me page

game grumps ask meme (pt 2)

“Your mouth is saying those words but your eyes say bullshit.”

“Those coins are probably worth tons of coins.”

“UM. EXCUSE ME. Those arms look like hugging machines!”

“Hopefully these paper-thin bushes will protect me from cop bullets.”

“What’s up you salty sailors?”

“Don’t give me your fucking alliteration.”

“Oh, you feel them. You can feel a seething hatred and I can sense it.”

“And I know I love it because I do it. Wait.”

“These weird looking fish have been showing up lately were about to eat me.”

“At age 6, I was born without a face.”

“First of all, I think he’s got a very nice ass.”

“Haven’t you ever heard Cheese Nipples by The Fruit Barfs?”

“Oh just lick my ass.”

“There’s two things I don’t make fun of people for… music and their laugh.”

“I’m super excited about failure.”

“I’m glad I get to give this guy a hand job everyday!”

“My plan, it worked.”

“We had that in the bag. And you grabbed ANOTHER FUCKING RHOMBUS.”

“I love video games, and they’re fun, but this one isn’t.”

“I’m a poet and fuck you.”

“I’m not in a position to come at anyone, bro.”

“I was this close to lining up my knuckles and punching you square in the groont.”

“Practice is for the weak!”

“Five coins in the bank, invested in stocks. Apple. Gotta get it early!”

“Okay. Okay. Alright BOUNCY BOX.”

“I’m gonna take him out back, and give him some chocolates.”

“Oh, you’re talking about your penis.”

“Every minute of this I just get harder and harder.”

“Step on him. Step on him and crush him. Mail the remains to his family.”

“It’s probably the wrong one but bear with me, I’m an idiot.”

“I wish you were fast.”

“Alright, uh, aliens dude. This concludes our service please come up for the crackers.”

“You may not recognize me because I was wearing sunglasses. I wrote an internet song about dinosaurs and lasers in 2010.”

”I mean I can’t tell you the specifics because it involves tradingyourlifeforces.”

“I’m glad we came to that conclusion. Separately. From each other.”

“Pussy built this place and pussy will tear it down!”

“I have a specific set of skills… and they all involve masturbating.”

“Yeah go on, tell me how you would have sex with the cat.”

“You can’t open up the story of my life, and just fucking go to page 738 and think you know me.”

“This game looks like it should be in black and white and in French.”

“The Bananas has gone bad!”

“Come on computer, use your thinky bits!”

“Folks, strap on your butts ‘cuz we’re goin’ in!”

“I could totally stab someone to death or something.”

“620 blaze it.”

“I’m like… low to moderately scared someone will steal my kidneys.”

“This game is a glitch that occasionally breaks out into a game.”

“WHAT KIND OF PIKACHU IS THAT?!”

“Siri, how many boobs does a fox have?”

“Truly the game of life is about money and bitches.”

“Let’s have some hot duck action.”

“It’s not murder, it’s for science.”

“Ya’ know aesthetically, this game is just above a piece of shit.”

“All of this time used for playing this game could have been used for smoking heroin.”

“That five seconds is all I need to punch myself repeatedly in the face.”

“Welcome back, I’m your toast with the most!”

“I just like to start shit.”

“This experience is really teaching me alot about what being bread is all about.”

“I sure hope talent is sexually transmitted for when we make love later.”

“Hold on I am clearing my google search term of ‘echidna penis’ and replacing it with ‘Bowie pressure lyrics.’”

“That’s how you help things, funnels of death.”

“First of all, language. Second of all, FUCK!”

“That’s when I get twice as high, at 8:40 at night. That’s for the professionals only.”

“There was no Twitter. It was 1980.”

“I wish my whole body was a party.”

“I could see them doing a Peanuts anime.”

“The rumour come out: Does Bruno Mars is gay?”

“What am I? Some kind of guy who doesn’t read tutorials or anything?”

“You have mastered the code of chivalry. Take your complimentary fedora.”

“A dump smells better than I do.”

“Can we form a new band where we just do, like, pop-punk…but we only dress up as the King of the Cosmos from Katamari?”

“"I would never joke about not being your friend.”

“Do you gain pleasure from the suffering of others?”

“We always finish games, except when we don’t.”

“…I’m just going to say lots of 1994 shit.”

That was actually a really charming episode. Vidalia is a riot, and Amethyst actually got some good healing progress goin’ on a little. Helped out with the tough home situation, and all that.

Onion’s still a freak. I love Onion.

Yeah, a cozy episode. I rate episode 65, Onion Friend, a 9/10.

See you next time! (Really, last episode today, for real). Come chill on the Discord! A link is found in my About Me page.

Just a lil update on my Leopika Doujin

It looks like enough people are interested for for now for me to go ahead with this wwooooooo!!! Thanks so much for all your enthusiasm :0

Again, if you would possibly be interested in buying this 30+ page DC arc leopika doujin then please let me know!! 

on 25 pages right now, still goin’ strong.

although everything is sketchy and horrible at the mo, here’s a couple of sneeka peekas


(gay)

(gayer)

(*ping* ur gay)

Calum Hood - Mature Girls
  • Request: Basically Calum is like wow and tries to be all manly but fails and it results in fucking <3
  • Rating: R
  • Warning: nothing but smut at the end. 
  • POV: Calum

We had just finished a show. I smiled brightly, beads of sweat leaving trails down my face. The other boys were no different; jumping around stage for hours at a time was a workout, no doubt. Everyone exited the venue with haste, hoping to get a glimpse of us outside. Sadly, we had an interview with a local radio station. They were kind enough to come to us, hoping to catch us in action. 

I sat my bass on the stand, following my three brothers down the stairs back stage. We met the fans who rightfully paid for their VIP. I took several pictures, had a few mini conversations, and gladly signed merchandise. 

I took a sip from a water  bottle, sitting on the couch. I watched in happiness as the fans finished up with the boys, sitting around the lounge. The interview would begin soon, and these girls would be a sort of mini audience. There was only about twenty-five of them. 

“Where are they?” Michael groaned, leaning back and kicking his feet up on the table. Two girls giggled and whispered to each other at his actions.

“I don’t know, could you wait a moment? I’m tired anyways.” Ashton huffed. 

“I am too. Man, was this a bad idea. I’d rather do it in the morning.” I confessed. It was true. It’s almost eleven pm, we got to leave in seventy-three or so hours to the next city. 

“Yeah but Michael promised to take me to get hot dogs tomorrow.” Luke said with a pouty lip. The girls awed at him, admiring our coolness. 

Before we could carry on with our conversations, the door slammed from behind me. Our manager walked in two young ladies; our interviewers. 

People who usually interview us are twenty-five and up. One of them surely was in their late twenty’s, but the other girl looked to be about twenty herself. She looked a little too young to interview us. 

“Sorry we’re late.” The older one said sympathetically. “I’m Carrie. This is Y/N – she lost her backstage pass. Security wouldn’t let us through.”

“It was not my fault, someone pocketed me for it.” Y/N insisted. I smiled at their banter. 

“Well, you’re here now. Take a seat, let’s get this goin on.” Ashton said, gesturing to the empty couch in front of us.

We began with simple questions about our music. It was mainly Carrie asking us questions. Y/N was either taking notes or jotting down our answers. I was lost, watching her pen glide against the rough notebook pages. It was almost as if it put me in a trance.

“Calum!” Luke said. Before I could even react, Michael punched my side. I clenched the area, my eyes squinting with pain. The girls laughed.

“What was that for?” I complained. 

“Pay attention, you’re being rude.” Michael scolded me. 

“As I was saying,” Y/N intertwined her fingers on her lap and cleared her throat, looking at me dead in the eyes,“your performance was quite the show. How would you explain your preforming spirit?”

Her voice was deep yet feminine. Her sharp eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Her H/C hair hung perfectly, her clothes formal for her age. I noticed her notebook closed and in her bag beside her. So she was taking notes? Is she some intern? How long was I spacing out for?

“Uh, hyper, crazy.. entertaining I guess. It’s the same with the rest of the boys.” I replied, mimicking her formal tone of voice. 

“I see. Are there any bands you look up to now? If so, which ones would you like be more like?” She said, still looking at me as if she was a police officer interrogating me.

“I like a lot of the classic rock bands, and the boys like that too. I guess I’d like to bring that kind of stuff back to this generation.” I replied.

The questions began to change. They were more fun, and a bit personal. Carrie took wheel again, asking us about how we feel about being away from home to what color underwear we wear. 

“Who’s your celebrity crush?” Y/N announced. I sat up straight. They said things like Haley Williams and Will Smith. I said that I didn’t have one.

“Bullshit, Calum. You’re always crying over Ariana Grande like she was a meal you couldn’t afford.” Michael laughed. I sent him a cold glare. 

“Lying. Lying. Lying. I don’t really like any. I was only kidding.” I tried to brush it away. It was weird, because I felt Y/N look down in the corner of my eye.

“Alright, then. Are any of you in a relationship?” She continued. 

“Yes, Yes, I’m with Luke right now.” Michael said, Luke scooching over onto his lap.“We may or may not be getting married. We’re deciding.”

“You guys are weird.” I said with embarrassment. They all shot me a hurt look.

“Calum is acting different.” Luke declared.“Says the one with Pokemon underwear, cuddles with us, and has his dick pic on the internet.”

I blushed with rage, until I heard Y/N giggle. I decided to drop the attitude; Luke’s right. I’m boyish and weird. 

“Man, I can’t do this.” Y/N continued to laugh. “I’m eighteen, not twenty-five." 

"What? You looked twenty.” I said, surprised.

“Nah, I have to act like that. But not anymore, I can’t take it serious when interviewing goofballs like the four of you.” Y/N said to Carrie. Carrie nodded. 

We all had a laugh the rest of the interview. Y/N was herself, I was myself. Once it ended, I walked Y/N to her car. Everyone else was still inside, playing this weird game they invented on the spot. 

“It was nice to meet you.” She smiled. I took her hand and guided her into the backseat of their car. 

“Sorry, it was cold out. And thank you, I’ve never met someone as interesting as you.” I tried. Why am I flirting with her?

“You’re such a dork,” She laughed,“a cute dork.”

“Nope, I’m manly.” I smirked. She couldn’t help but laugh again.

“Can I try something?” I asked. She nodded, red forming on her cheeks as if she new what I was going to do.

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