“You want to protect free speech and privacy? Embrace the idea that threatening the press for doing their jobs is damaging. Consider asking yourself who in history is known for trying to silence journalists for saying things that they don’t like. Then look at where you’re standing. Which side of history are you actually on?”
kendall really out here on twitter like “i love my fans!!! spread love!! i’m gonna add exclamation points after all of my tweets so it seems like i’m a decent person!! forget what you just read about all of my shitty decisions!!” like honey give it up
“My Family’s Slave” and the people who don’t want to understand Filipino culture
I got blocked within 1 minute of sending the second tweet
Instead of listening to actual Filipinos about Lola and her legacy, Miss “I study and value diversity so I will never listen to people who actually know the culture and context in which this occurred” just blocks them for disagreeing with her
So here’s a message for all y’all who think you can fight for Lola’s story but then entirely disregard the culture from which she came:
Shut up and listen.
I am so fucking disgusted by every “oh this is so sad” “how could anybody do this” “she should have killed that family” comment from a westerner who has no context of our culture or how they themselves contributed to it
The country that makes a Filipino maid joke every other time we as a race are mentioned shouldn’t take the moral high ground because you suddenly feel sad about it
You don’t understand how Filipinos treat family, how they’re willing to humble themselves to extremes, how being in America is already a huge fucking deal for those who grew up in the province, how that contributes to the “utang na loob” culture that while not necessarily good, is a big part of how every Filipino operates
Yes, what happened to Lola was bad. I call her Lola because 1) She would not have gone by eudocia, not even with her own family and community. Filipinos have nicknames, always, with some exceptions (our driver Tommy’s actual first name is Tommy, so). 2) Lola means old woman as much as it means grandma, so for a lack of a name that isn’t just on her grave stone and birth certificate, we call her Lola, which people in the community would have called her at that age regardless. Which Kendall might have known had she not blocked every single Filipino who actually knows a thing or two.
What happened to her was slavery yes. Not because she served an abusive family, but because she didn’t have a choice and they didn’t pay her. It is not the kind of slavery you can put a black American context to, which is what Kendall did. In order to understand just why she didn’t leave even at the opportunities she was given, you have to understand her culture as much as her situation.
To do otherwise is an affront to anybody who’s experienced or experiencing the same. Filipino maids are being abused in every country, even paid. They’re treated like slaves today, at this very moment, but are not considered such because they have income, little as it is. But instead of saying “huhu how sad” and “we have to end their slavery!” think about why we do it and what could be done to make sure they’re treated fairly.
Why does Planned Parenthood spend money on elections when you’re worried about losing your funding?
Someone asked us:
I’ve given a lot of money to Planned Parenthood because I know politicians are trying to cut your funding and you’ve been asking for donations to help keep your clinics open. But then I found out you also gave a bunch of money to political candidates, so I guess you don’t need my donations as much as you say you do? I support Planned Parenthood, but I don’t want my money going to any politicians, no matter what side they’re on.
First off, thank you so much for your donations and support. This is a super common question with a pretty simple answer: like many nonprofits, we’re actually made up of multiple organizations — at the national level, there’s Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA) and Planned Parenthood Action Fund (Action Fund), plus dozens of state and local Planned Parenthood organizations. It gets kind of confusing because many people just refer to the whole family as “Planned Parenthood,” but PPFA and Action Fund (and the state and local orgs) do different things and get funding from different places.
Planned Parenthood Federation of America works to support health care providers at Planned Parenthood health centers across the country, educate the public on issues of reproductive and sexual health, and advocate for policy to expand access to health care. PPFA has 56 independent local affiliates that operate more than 600 health centers throughout the U.S, which provide critical health care services and sex education programs. In addition, PPFA partners with more than 100 organizations across Africa and Latin America to advance the health and rights of young people, women, and families.
Both Planned Parenthood Federation of America and Planned Parenthood Action Fund do important, lifesaving work, but it’s understandable to have preferences about which type of work your money supports. The good news is, you can totally make that call by choosing which Planned Parenthood organization you donate to.
just remember every time you see kendall, gigi or bella in a runway show they are taking the place of a real model who has worked hard and dedicated their life to their careers, while these girls have rolled out of bed one day, decided to become models & have shamelessly used their connections, family power and money to get where they are
A/n: This is an updated version of an imagine I’ve previously uploaded. I know Hendall is so 2015. I get it.
Masterlist linked in bio.
The red wine leaves a particular stain on Harry’s lips that he hadn’t noticed until Kendall pointed it out to him.
“It looks like you’re wearing lipstick” she laughs, “I didn’t know you were going to dress up this much for the party.”
They are currently sat at his mum’s kitchen island, drinking red wine while munching on some chips left out for the guests. The house is filled with familiar faces, friends and family all throughout London coming together for Anne’s birthday celebration.
They hosted one every year for as long as Harry could remember, a time of year where nearly every one of his family members, including his step family, would unite. It was their favorite time of year, believe it or not. Despite all the excitement for the holidays, Anne’s birthday celebration was certainly something special.
It was Kendall’s first time attending, considering the fact that Harry had only really talked to her whenever he was assigned to be with her for publicity. It wasn’t always ideal, however, he built a stable friendship with her, so he didn’t mind the extra company with him from time to time.
She was invited last minute, of course, since his management called last night to ask if there was any way for them to be seen together. With Harry’s new movie coming out and his solo album just released a couple weeks ago, it was almost a given for him to be rumored with a girlfriend. That’s how it’s worked all throughout his career.
He normally wouldn’t have minded, however, this was the worst possible date for him to be with Kendall.
Because it’s Anne’s birthday party, this means that it’ll be the first time in one year that he’ll be seeing Y/n. They have been best friends since they were five years old, basically growing up in the same house as they went through school together. But as time went on, and as they both went to their separate ways, it was hard to keep in touch with each other all the time.
She remained in the small towns of London while Harry was traveling world wide, where his name became known everywhere as Y/n’s was only known through people she attended school with. Of course, they still talked, considering they both admitted to having more than friendship feelings, but their lives were busy in their own ways, preventing them from being more than what they wanted to be.
For the past couple months, Harry planned that this would be the day he’d finally move forward with Y/n. Or, at least attempt to. With the loss of her over the past year, it made Harry realize just how much he couldn’t imagine a life without her. It had been so long—too long, and he couldn’t stand how long he’s lived without keeping in touch with her.
But now, everything he planned for the two of them is becoming impossible. He can’t begin to imagine how Y/n would feel knowing he brought Kendall to his mum’s birthday party after they both confessed their love for each other. In all honesty, he wouldn’t blame her for giving up on him. He keeps doing this to her, even if it’s unintentional.
He watches around the kitchen at the guests he hasn’t seen in quite a while. His leg bounces with impatience when each new person walking in to attend the party isn’t Y/n. It’s been nearly an hour and has never been so late to anything before.
And as horrible as it sounds, he almost wishes she doesn’t come, just so that she can avoid the heartbreak that will come when she reunites with Kendall again.
“I’m sorry I’m late!”
Harry’s head whips around when he hears the voice he’s been deprived of for the past year. The first thing he notices are her lips, and the way they move around her words so softly. They’re slightly glazed with a lipgloss, painting her lips with a rosy shade of pink. They look so much fuller to him now, but he knows not a trace of them are artificial.
His eyes only drift from the shape of her lips when her fingers reach to tuck loose pieces of hair behind her ear. It’s then he notices just how much shorter her hair has gotten. What was once so long and lank is now falling just above the shoulder, set in luscious curls he can only imagine twisting around his fingers.
His jaw goes slack when he sees the pale pink dress she’s wearing. It’s made from silk, the metallic fabric glowing with each step she takes. He gulps when he notices just how much the dress accentuates the curvature of her body and how much of her legs are put on display for him to see, and he can’t help but to wipe the sweat off his palms when he watches her greet his mother with a proper kiss on the cheek.
He notices that his eyes haven’t shut since he’s seen her, but he’s so completely intrigued by how much has changed in her. Something about her seems so much more real—so much more vibrant—and he can’t seem to stop himself from praising how time has done her so goddamn well.
“You never told me she was going to be here.“
His body jerks at Kendall’s sudden appearance, her body slowly occupying the seat next to his at the kitchen island. If it wasn’t for her, he swears he would have caught himself drooling.
“Didn’t think I had to,” he says with a shrug, “she’s been my best friend since we were five. She’s basically apart of this family, she wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”
Y/n hasn’t missed a single one of Anne’s birthday celebrations since she’s known Harry. Their bond is irreplaceable—so irreplaceable, in fact, that Anne has been convinced Y/n is a miracle for their family. She was there for them through all the troubled times; helping them through their hardships and family instabilities.
When Anne and her husband first got divorced, Harry and Y/n were seven. Harry didn’t understand much of what was happening, all he knew was that his mum and dad weren’t going to love each other anymore. He was hurting, even when Gemma was there to try and keep him together. He started to believe everything between his parents was a lie.
She understood the whole separation process. Her mum left her at a young age, leaving her alone with her father. They were close, of course, but she always missed having a mother figure in her life. It made her upset to know she could only listen to one voice in the house, but as she grew older, she accepted it more.
By the time she met Harry, he kept bringing her over to his house as the years went on. Anne was the closest she had to mother, and their bond became unbreakable by the time Y/n was a teenager. Nearly seven years of Y/n being like another member of the family, Y/n started buying Anne Mother’s Day cards.
So when Y/n watched her second family fall apart, along with Anne’s heart, and she was determined to patch them back together again. Even at her young age, she’d pick flowers from her garden and give them to Anne everyday after school. Y/n said they represented her, and how she felt being a woman with such love and beauty could die all too quickly. Harry never understood what it meant, but Y/n did, which is why she never stopped until she heard Anne laughing again.
She also started to draw pictures and write her letters, reminding her of how loved she was by everyone. As much as Anne was heartbroken during the time, she took the letters everywhere she went and kept every flower alive for as long as she possibly could. Anne would always tell Harry “That girl came into our lives for a reason, my love. She’s a special one, our little miracle, never let her go. You hear me?”
Harry didn’t understand what it truly meant to let someone go, but he did his best to do anything but that. And now, as Harry sits on his mother’s kitchen island and seeing Y/n for the first time in a year, he feels he’s done just that.
“Guess not.” Kendall mutters, taking her last sip of the red wine left in her glass. “She’s just so strange, I guess. I can barely hold a conversation with her without her making an excuse to leave.”
Kendall and Y/n never really got along, it was extremely noticeable to everyone who held a conversation with the both of them. They just don’t see things in the same light. Y/n is very outgoing and lively; an extreme extrovert that seeks adventure—and Kendall can’t stand it. She thinks Y/n does it for attention, especially because she’s remained a small town girl while being surrounded by well-known celebrities. And even though it may seem like Y/n likes the attention, that’s not her purpose. She gives all her attention to others, never to herself, and it has always been something Harry loved the most.
And when it comes to Y/n, Kendall was that one thing that was constantly in her way of Harry. No matter how many times Harry and Y/n discussed how there was something between them, Kendall always found her way back to haunt her. She was her worst goddamn nightmare. She was perfect for Harry in the public eye, and nothing made Y/n feel worse than knowing she’ll never be her type of perfect, especially when it came to Harry.
But Kendall doesn’t know that. All she knows is that Y/n is extremely stand-offish with her, and she’ll never understand why.
“She’s not used to our lives. It’s extremely difficult for her to understand how we live, you know? She’s normal.”
Kendall scoffs, eyes rolling around the room because she hates that word. She feels so divided, like she’s in a categorization in society and everything about it makes her teeth clench.
“We’re normal, too, you know. I don’t understand why she feels so intimated and feels like she has something to prove.”
Harry’s jaw clenches slightly at the negative connotes Kendall has about Y/n’s life. Something about it makes his stomach twist the wrong way, and he can’t help the underlying growl in between his words.
“We’re not normal. Deep down, you and I both know that. You also don’t know Y/n, so stop making irrational assumptions about her.”
Kendall narrows her eyes at Harry, a gaze full of confusion and disbelief at the undeniable grumble in his tone. Any rational conversation they have about Y/n always end the same—with Harry quick to end the discussion and jump to her defense. It’s times like these Kendall never understood the true extent of Harry and Y/n’s relationship. They always claimed it was platonic but there has always been a sense of something stronger in them, like unaddressed or unchased feelings, or a past they shared that was kept between the two.
Either way, it annoyed the shit out of Kendall because they both were hiding something that she’ll never be able to get answered.
“Fine, whatever.” She sighs dramatically, scooting her chair back until she has room to stand properly. “Want some more wine? Getting some.”
Harry slides his empty wine glass so that it’s in front of her, muttering a small “yeah, thanks” before she’s on her way to the counter across the room, retrieving extra wine and mingling with some of Harry’s family.
Harry sighs while his head rests at the palm of his hand, eyes gazing directly to where Y/n is standing. His lips tug up lightly when he hears her laugh from the living room, his tongue running over his bottom lip ever so slightly as he watches her mouth lift and her eyes squint shut as she catches up with one of his uncles about his grand annual weekend fishing trip.
And as his eyes stay so transfixed on the woman in the other room, he can’t help but imagine seeing that type of perfection every day for the rest of his life.
“And everyone thinks Sweet Creature is about me..”
Harry’s head snaps to Gemma’s figure leaning over the edge of the island, her elbows hitched on the counter as a small smirk plays on her lips. She found it abnormally amusing how he didn’t even acknowledge her presence until she spoke, too invested in hawking over Y/n’s every move.
Harry grumbles, but the smile from Y/n’s laughter is permanent on his lips when he does so. Gemma even notices his cheeks brighten with pink, another hint of confirmation to the words she spoke.
“Shut up, Gem.“
She puts her arms up defensively, “Hey, don’t take it out on me. I’m just making an observation.”
Harry rolls his eyes as Gemma wraps her arm around his neck, hunching over so that her lips are close to his ear and eyes are directed toward Y/n again.
“She has gotten hotter, hasn’t she?”
She has no idea. All Harry can think about is how someone already so beautiful has grown to be so perfect. Everything about her makes Harry want to get down on his knees and worship every inch of her body. He has to bite down on his bottom lip to stop himself from thinking how much of a wreck he wants to make out of her.
“I don’t know how she did it. You better get her while you still have the chance, I know many, many men who want a taste of her.”
No is the first thing Harry thinks when the words leave from Gemma’s mouth. As hypocritical and selfish as it is, knowing other men have shown an interest in her makes his skin crawl. And he can’t help but feel his throat tighten at the moment Y/n realizes he had brought Kendall to this party.
“Is she—“ he can’t even finish his sentence without his jaw tightening again, hindering the rest of his question from leaving his lips.
“Oh, quit your worrying, H. She’s single, I don’t think she’d ever date someone who isn’t you. Besides, I don’t think you can do much about it with Kendall here.”
Gemma lifts a finger to where Kendall is standing, still in the same spot as she talks to his aunt Leslie. His heart hurts knowing what Y/n will feel when she finds out. He knows that there is always a part of her that feels discouraged whenever there’s a new woman in his life. In between Harry and Y/n’s love for each other was a mix of false hopes and miscommunication, and it always fucked them up whenever anything else was put in their way.
Gemma pats his shoulder before making rounds to her family and friends again, leaving Harry slumped against the counter with not a drop of wine to numb his scrambling mind.
When Y/n finishes catching up with the rest of Harry’s family, she finds that her patience is wearing thin. It’s been a year since she’s seen the love of her life, and knowing that he’s somewhere near her is enough to get her heart racing.
When she sees him sitting alone at the kitchen island, wearing his infamous pink suit and staring down at his fingers, it’s as if her body starts to malfunction. Her legs stop moving and her lips part, eyes glistening with admiration as she sees him for the first time in so long.
He’s as beautiful as ever, his new haircut accentuating his facial structure. His lips seem so much more red, too, which are complimented greatly by that goddamn suit. Everything about him radiates, like he’s developed into a whole other person. She’ll never quite grasp the idea that she’s about to reunite with him; something about it makes her palms sweat.
Harry lifts his head up to look at her in all her glory. His heart warms at her presence more than the wine did, and he can’t help but to take a breath of relief when he finally hears her voice again.
“Y/n.” He breathes out, his fingers instinctively reaching up to the ends of her cut hair.
He chokes out a laugh of admiration when he sees her this close to him. She is so much different—so much more perfect than he ever remembers her being and it takes his breath away.
His fingers twist her hair, wrapping them around the digits before letting the strands fall back in place again. He never saw her without her hair down to her waist, and now that he has, he never wants to see her hair past her shoulders again.
“It’s so beautiful” he whispers, “you look so beautiful like this, Y/n. I absolutely love it.”
She blushes, her chin tucking slightly into her neck as if trying to hide how much of a reaction he got out of her. No matter how many years she’s known him, she was never used to the way he spoke to her.
“It was spontaneous. Really wanted a change, and it looks like I’m not the only one.”
Her hands reach to his hair, which is so much shorter compared to the last time she saw him. She remembered she couldn’t keep her hands out of it last year, constantly finding ways to tangle her fingers at the ends. Harry found it hysterical, actually, and thought it was the cutest thing she’s ever done.
“It’s just so soft” she’d say, “it’s like a whole other world in there!”
But now her only option is to tangle her fingers at the roots, and as she does so, her mind drifts to all the other occasions she could have her hands in his hair again.
“It’s so much shorter. Look at that! I can barely tug on it anymore!” She laughs in amusement, her fingers slipping as she pulls too hard.
He smirks up at her, a giggle falling from his lips as he watches her utterly amused reaction. They begin to catch up with the part of their lives they both have missed. Harry talked about his album while Y/n started discussing her new journalism job.
Talking to Y/n is one of the only normal parts of him left, it always gave him a sense of grounding whenever he felt his career was taking off to heights he wasn’t ready for. She is one of the only sense of normality he has left in his life, and it’s another reason as to why he admires her so dearly. She brought out parts of him nobody else could reach, and it’s another reason why he feels so upset he’s barely talked to her.
“Y/n?” he asks hesitantly, reaching his hand over so that his fingertips graze her hand.
Her breath breaks when he touches her, the softness in his voice proving that what is about to be discussed is far more important than their previous conversation. She notices the stress lines in between his forehead and the parting of his wine stained lips when he begins to speak.
“I’m so sorry I haven’t kept in touch with you. I know how it makes me look, especially after everything that happened between us. With the new album and everything, I’ve just been so busy with—“
Harry’s head jumps to where Y/n stares dumbfounded, Kendall holding two glasses of wine in one hand while the other is carrying a plate of chicken wings. She’s looking down at Y/n, too, her eyebrows lifted up in an intimidating manner. There’s a scowl present on her lips as she continues to tower over her.
Y/n feels tears building in her eyes as she takes in the situation at hand. She was so fucking dumb to think that Harry was going to come to Anne’s party alone, especially since his new album just released. This is Kendall’s prime time appearance, when Harry needs a familiar famous face beside him to advertise his solo career.
This isn’t anything new—this isn’t anything unfamiliar, but the pain feels like a fresh wound to her heart. Harry and Y/n are nearly 24, with having known each other and felt something for each other for years, she thought that if anything were going to happen, it was going to happen now. But everything between them has remained stagnant for so long that the last sliver of hope she had for their potential relationship has been completely taken away from her. By Kendall, again.
“W—Wow, I’m sorry. I didn’t—I didn’t know Harry had invited you.”
“Yeah,” Kendall nods, “he invited me last night.”
Y/n’s lips purse together, nodding her head as her eyes drift around the kitchen. Anything to avoid Kendall’s eyes—anything to feel as unimportant as she does now.
Harry’s eyes squeeze shut, a small hissing releasing from his tongue at how wrong it all sounds, considering absolutely nothing happened between Harry and Kendall the previous night besides being demanded that the two of them are to be seen together again.
“Right,” Y/n’s voice cracks, “well, I’m sorry to interrupt your time together. I’m going to go to Gemma’s room, got a phone call from my dad a while ago so I should go check up on him. I’ll see you guys around.”
She musters up a pathetic smile before practically running away from them. After everything they both told each other, after all the feelings they’ve had toward each other, how could Harry keep doing this to her? How could he keep being with Kendall when he says he loves Y/n?
She doesn’t even find the strength in her to hold in her tears before she approaches the steps, not daring to look back at them again. She never wants to see them in the same room again, it’ll be too much her heart can handle.
“You’ve really got to be fucking kidding me, Kendall.” Harry growls.
His hands fist around the wine glass, his knuckles turning white and he’s absolutely shocked it hasn’t shattered into pieces in his hands from all the anger pulsing through his veins.
“Jesus, Harry, neither one of you can take a joke. Does she not understand that all of this is for the press? She keeps acting like we’re a couple.”
“Could you really blame her after that? ‘He invited me last night,’ you’re really getting a kick out of making her uncomfortable, aren’t you?”
He grumbles as he takes a long sip of his wine, hoping that the alcohol loosens his muscles enough to restrain himself from doing anything he regrets. He loves his mum too much to start an argument during her birthday party, and as much as Kendall’s shifting Harry’s mood, he still appreciates her as a friend to ruin anything.
“That wasn’t even my fault, you both dug into that way too deep. Last night does not mean while we were fucking. It’s a time of day.”
“It’s the way you said it.”
“Are you being serious, Harry?”
He slams his glass down on the island, grumbling under his breath while he stands up from his chair. No matter how much anger is in him now, the only thoughts swirling in his brain are wondering if Y/n’s okay. She would have never left the party to go into a secluded room, not even if her dad called her.
“You leave her the fuck alone, Kendall. I mean it.”
He storms away from her, desperate to find Y/n because God only knows what’s really happening in that bedroom. Y/n’s emotions and feelings are always positive, always so bright, and he refuses to be the reason they turn upside down. She doesn’t deserve all he keeps doing to her, she doesn’t deserve him.
When Harry nearly swings himself onto the first step, he can already hear the soft murmur of Y/n’s and Anne’s voice, which makes him stop from approaching them any more than he has already.
“Y/n? Y/n, darling?” Anne asks with worry when she sees Y/n climbing up the top step with tears in her eyes, soft cries falling from her throat as her hand attempts to silence them.
She reaches an arm out for her, tugging at the front of Y/n’s dress slightly to get her attention. She’s grateful it was Anne who found her this way instead of any other guest at the party, considering nobody besides her and Harry have seen her with a frown on her face.
“Y/n, baby, what’s going on with you?”
The lights are off in the hallway, with no guests permitted in the area, which gives Y/n the proper time to fully allow her tears to fall down her cheeks.
“I’m so s—sorry, Anne.” Y/n cries.
Anne’s hands rub her shoulders, reassuring her that there’s absolutely nothing for her to apologize for. It also lets her know that she’s willing to listen to her, no matter where or when—she’ll always be there.
“I’m almost 24, Anne, and I’ve put so much of my life on hold for him.”
She knows instantly who Y/n’s talking about. It wasn’t difficult to notice the undying connection between Y/n and her son, especially as the years went on. They have grown so strongly together, there has never been a doubt in Anne’s mind that Y/n is going to be the girl Harry ends up marrying. Everyone in the family called it a destiny waiting to happen, but it has been so long since anything has happened between them, and Anne can’t help but feel heartbroken to know Y/n’s carrying the wrong idea about him and Kendall.
“And I’ve sacrificed so m—much to continue waiting for him, but I don’t think I can keep doing this anymore. We’re nowhere near where we should be, especially when he keeps spending time with Kendall and I just—I just don’t know if I can—“
“Oh, my darling.” Anne sighs, cradling Y/n’s head against her shoulder as she rubs down her back.
She shushes her through her tears, rocking her slightly in an attempt to calm her from her cries. It’s extremely rare for Y/n to feel upset, so when she does so, Anne knows she deserves all the comfort and love she can get.
“I know you so well, and I know my son. I always knew you were a match made in heaven, my dear. I knew from the start you were more than just an ordinary girl. You’re so special, to everyone in our family, but especially to him. He may not have his head screwed on right most of the time, but if I can promise you anything with all my heart, it’s that he loves you. Please, no matter what, never forget that.”
Y/n nods against her shoulder, thanking her through her violent cries before Anne insists she takes some time to herself. And as much as Y/n wanted to refrain from going into Harry’s bedroom, it’ll be the only place that brings her a sense of comfort.
Harry already knows he’s in for a lecture the second he sees his mum coming down the stairs with bewildered eyes. She grips his shoulders, her face tight with frustration.
“You go over to her and you be the man I taught you to be, Harry.”
Harry’s eyes widen at her words, swallowing thickly at the thought of disappointing another person in his life.
“She loves you and you love her. Stop doing favors for other people and start thinking about you before you ruin both of your lives forever. You hear me?”
Harry nods feverishly, determined and more motivated than ever to fix all that he’s caused. Love comes first, always, and he needs to remember that before he breaks Y/n’s heart completely.
She’s it. She’s all that matters to him.
He barely responds to Anne before he’s racing to his old bedroom, completely clueless as to what he’s going to say, but willing to do anything to get her back.
“Y/n?” Harry calls through the door of his old bedroom. “Y/n, can I come in?”
He knocks on the door lightly, just using the knuckles of his pointer and middle finger. He hears her feet pad over to the door, opening it to reveal her tear stained cheeks. Her hands are trembling against the knob, her breath broken with soft, gentle cries. Her eyes are widened with sadness, wet and red from tears she barely ever cries.
“Y/n.” He whimpers, tentatively reaching his shaking fingers up to her cheeks. He wipes away the tears from the bottoms of her eyes, sighing upsettingly as her eyes close at his touch. “Never seen you like this. Please talk to me.”
Her lips quiver as another sob rips through her, her hand reaching up to capture his between her fingers. Her saddened and wet eyes looking down at the intertwined hands now resting against her lap.
“I’m so tired, H.” She whimpers, “So tired.”
His lips press against her forehead, “I know, love. I know.”
She wraps her arms around him, her face burying in between his chest as he lets her tears soak in his undershirt.
“I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought I’d finally be alone with you after all this time. I missed being close to you, I wanted to be closer to you and I thought you felt the same about me and I didn’t understand, Harry, I didn’t get it and—“
“Hey, relax for me.” Harry mumbles, his lips grazing tenderly along her cheek.
She takes a deep breath, her fingers fisting the back of his suit tighter in her fists. She rests her chin on the top of his chest, tears still roaming down her face as she lets out an exasperated sigh. Her fingertips trace patterns on his back, her eyes fluttering closed as he pushes some of her hair off of her face, refraining them from sticking to her wet cheeks.
“I didn’t get it,” she whispers, “I was so confused, and when you didn’t answer my calls or texts I thought you didn’t find me important. And I was under no right to be upset about it, because you’re busy and you have priorities. But when I saw you today, I didn’t see you as the Harry I always have, I still can’t tell you what I saw but I wanted every part of you more than I ever have before. But when I saw Kendall I—“
Her cries and words die down when she feels Harry’s tender lips against hers. She’s taken aback at first, and before she has any time to really kiss him back, he’s already pulled away.
“Let me fix this.” He breathes out, “let show you that I only want you.”
His lips press against the side of her mouth, not allowing himself to kiss her the way he wants to until she lets him. They then begin to travel down her neck, along her jaw, around her mouth.
Y/n’s breath is stiff as he does so, embracing the feeling of his mouth against her skin. They’ve only ever kissed a handful of times, none of them being passionate or loving. They’ve shared pecks while saying goodbyes or after confessing their feelings, but none quite like this—none quite like the one anticipating to happen.
His breathing his hard when he continues to kiss along her skin, his fingers moving longly in her hair the more his mouth presses against her.
“Will you let me?” He whispers when his lips are ghosting over hers, “this okay?”
She nods feverishly, hitting the point of desperation when she feels his breath fan over the skin of her face. She’s been needing this for far too long now.
His thumb runs over her bottom lip one, two, three times before he finally leans in. Their lips mush together passionately, only breaking apart to move their position before locking again. Their tongues meet in the middle, making the both of them moan at the unfamiliar spark coursing through their veins.
Harry walks toward his bed until Y/n’s knees hit the edge of it, making her back meet the mattress. Their lips haven’t detached once, not daring to break away from the feeling they’ve both been deprived of.
They’re both making out on Harry’s childhood bed, grinding onto each other half naked like two hormonal teenagers. Their clothes thrown across the room, lips swollen from all the suction and nibbling, and hair completely knotted from either of their fingertips, the party below them long forgotten.
“Wait, wait wait wait!” Y/n gasps, lifting herself off of his chest.
Harry’s chest rises and falls rapidly, trying to catch his breath as he looks up at Y/n in confusion. He watches as a smirk lifts from her lips as she peers down at his flushed face, giggling slightly at his complete fucked out appearance.
She notices that his lips remained stained from the red wine—a little faded—but still making her body weak at the sight of it.
“’s the matter?” He croaks.
His voice is thick—an entirely different level of raspy, and Y/n wonders how she’s lived so long without hearing him speak in that way. Between all the kissing, all the touching, all the moaning, his voice has a particular roughness to it that Y/n could feed off of if she had to.
“We shouldn’t do this, right? I mean, we’re about to fuck during your mum’s birthday party. Your entire family and Kendall are downstairs, anybody could walk in at any second, or hear us, and your mum could find that so disrespectful and—“
Her rambling is interrupted by his lips, meeting hers passionately between her words.
There is no way in hell he’s leaving this room tonight. Everything that’s been stagnant between them is finally moving in the right direction, and he can’t find it anywhere in him to walk away from it.
“You think I’m letting you go now?” He whispers, his thumb running along her bottom lip. “I have been waiting for this moment with you since high school, sweetheart.”
His lips reattach to her neck, sucking on spots he hasn’t already left marks on, soaking up every bit of the time he has with her before it’s over. This is the first time they’re going to make love, and he wants to feel and remember every bit of this moment.
“B—But your mum—“ She moans, her fingers nearly tangling at the ends of his hair as she hisses in pleasure from his tongue.
“Every single person downstairs knows about us. This—this happening right now, has been expected to happen since I first brought you home. I guarantee you, nothing will make her more happy than knowing her son and his future wife are finally acting on our feelings instead of pushing them to the side again.”
His words make Y/n blush like no other; her cheeks turning the shade of pink on her dress she wore previously. It’s then he notices just hot fucking pretty she is in pink, how every tint of the color compliments her in ways he can barely wrap his head around.
“Future wife, hm?” She smirks, tapping the pads of her fingers against his bare collarbones.
He kisses her again.
“Thought you knew that, love. Wouldn’t know a single soul I’d rather spend the rest of my life with.” His fingers dig into her hips, “’s always been you.“
Y/n pushes Harry’s back against the mattress again, trailing her fingers down his torso. She giggles when his teeth clench at her touch, finding it almost irresistible to embrace the way he responds to her touch so easily.
Harry greeted from the doorway of your shared bedroom, his eyes looking discreetly at the clock that stated it’s 1 AM in the wee hours of morning.
“Told you not to wait up for me.”
He took his polo off that was slightly damp from his swear along with his jeans, leaving him in his boxers, going to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth, feeling the extra fatigue come to his system once he felt fresh from having been tired in the studio and having a few drinks in the bar.
He went to your side of the bed and pressed a kiss on your cheek, a downgrade of what used to be a long kiss on your lips or a hug in where he’d nuzzle his face on the crook of your neck, completely inhaling your scent before pressing little kisses.
“How was your day?”
“’S good, finished some backing vocals. Had a few drinks with Nick and Kendall.”
Your stomach slightly felt queasy at the mention of her, but the feeling lifted for a second to realize that Harry’s your boyfriend, not her’s.
You weren’t blind to not see the older pictures of Harry and Kendall every time you scrolled down your feed of any social media account, nor the times Hardy made clear and evident that she was just a friend yet with him being a bit more talkative when she was there.
Yet deep inside you, you had the assurance that Harry loves you, yet not eaxactly as much as expressive as you are.
“You tired, baby?”
You asked, your hand going through his hair which made him release a sound of comfort, his head pressed upon your palm, humming out an answer you expected.
You immediately relaxed once you heard Harry’s voice the moment he accepted your call, the bass of the loud music as his background not going unnoticed.
“Where are you, love?”
“O — oh! I forgot to tell you this morning! It’s Kendall’s birthday today!”
The plan of spending a special night with Harry crumbled underneath your fingertips, making you take a deep breath to control yourself.
It was supposed to be a night to be spent completely between the both of you, especially now that you were promoted a rank higher in your job, something that you’ve hoped for ever since the start.
“What time are you going home, H?”
He hummed, the image of Harry probably looking at his watch striking in your mind, making you wait anxiously.
“Maybe a few minutes after midnight? And Y/N, baby, I told you not to wait up for me. ’S the reason why you’re always tired in the morning.”
“God forbid I get tired, Harry. Wish her a happy birthday for me, will you?”
“Will do, love,” he almost shouted since he couldn’t hear himself through the music, the sound of his name being called by probably one of his friends being heard by the both of you.
“Okay. I love y-…”
You were cut short with the line being completely dropped, upsetting you maybe a bit more than it should, making you turn your attention to the drink in front of you.
“Cheating. They call it emotional cheating.”
Harry’s eyebrows immediately furrowed from what you were saying, stopping himself from putting some clothes in his duffel bag that would last him for a day and in his toiletries, his attention completely turning towards you whose arms are crossed and standing in the doorway.
“Love, what the hell are you saying?”
He asked, nearing towards you and putting his hands on your shoulder, a concerned look on his face.
“Is this about your birthday tomorrow? Baby, I told you I would make up for it. You know I promised James I would come to his baby shower. Which happens to be in a yacht for a day.”
“I would be lying if I tell you that I didn’t notice how invested you are in Kendall. Every time you see her, the picture; the conversations.”
Harry breathed out since he noticed you lately of you changing your habits slightly, of how your eyes looked tired.
Yet beyond that, he didn’t seem to notice on how much you compromised. On how much you adjusted your life around him so you could be simply with him.
“Love, it just happens that James invited Kendall too. It isn’t my decision.”
You stared at your feet, feeling the hollowness in your heart for what felt alike in the past few months, your hands being put on top of his shoulders.
“You love me, right?”
It was obvious.
The moment Harry appeared on the door from the night after James’ baby shower, he already knew that you knew it.
And in fact, you already knew it, if it wasn’t for the people tagging you on posts numerously that your phone blew up with notifications, nor the text James sent saying that he’s sincerely sorry because if he knew, he wouldn’t invite either of them and even scold Harry.
He was looking at you expectingly, the tears already flowing out of his eyes as his heart dropped on the sight of you sitting silently on the couch, cussing himself silently of how much he messed up.
“Please say something.”
His voice cracked, pleading for you to say anything, whether it would favor him or not because at that moment, the silence was killing him slowly. He knew how well you could give a silent treatment and remembered a promise to himself long ago that he wouldn’t cross you again because he hates it.
He hates every single bit of it.
“That’s a nice birthday present.”
His heart tightened of what she just said, regretting the things he’ve done faster than when he did it, fully knowing that you can’t and you’re not looking into his eyes.
“I’m giving you a choice. So you wouldn’t think of me as being selfish.”
You stood up, looking down the floor until your feet was a good ruler away from his shoes, making it as a basis so that you wouldn’t get close to him.
“Five days. First choice is I stay here and not talk nor do anything that has to do with me interacting with you. Second is that I stay in a hotel and we could talk. On the phone, one call. Five minutes a day.”
“Love-…” Harry cut himself short, clenching and unclenching his fist at the weight of the moment he carries.
“It would kill me to not either see you nor talk to you.”
You wanted to fight him with what he said, but you took off the urge, your gaze still fixed on the floor.
Harry gulped, desperately wanting to fix what he caused in the first place.
He knew it. He knew it better than anyone should to not break your trust. Especially when you cussed at him while fighting. And yet again, he brought it upon himself. The both of you suffering.
Harry hiccuped out his answer amidst his tears, feeling the pain sear right through his seams that he felt shitty to say the least.
Would he use his five minutes now?
It was less than thirty minutes after you left the house on the same day he went home, bringing yourself and nothing else but your car, your keys, your phone and your cash.
You figured that you would buy clothes in the mini botiques the hotel has once the air gets too suffocating in your room.
You figured that you would rely on the hotel’s complimentary incentives for the toilteries.
You figured that you would have a drink or two from the mini bar they consider that’s in their mini refigerator.
Harry thought of it for a moment if it would be a good time to use his five minutes. Even better is what’s he going to say.
Your commitment is hanging on by five phone calls he’s going to make, your judgement, and maybe includes his prayers for you to be back on his arms.