this is for all the people who keep saying that they want to live with us

Andrew thinks he doesn't like kids. Andrew's wrong.

Andrew doesn’t like children on principle. They’re noisy, excitable, annoying, and regularly deplete the chocolate ice cream supply in his local shop before he can get to it.

So why he is now driving hundreds of miles solely to visit a pair of four-year-olds is anyone’s guess. Although, he has to admit, the blue-eyed man to his right might have something to do with it.

For some reason, Neil adores Dan and Matt’s kids. He met them as babies - crying, snivelling, wrinkly things - and yet was not put off. Andrew can’t understand it. They’re twins, for God’s sake. Double the attention-seeking nuisance. He gets enough of that from the cats. He ended up having pictures of them shoved in his face for the next four years as Neil excitably told him about Willow’s first steps, Clara’s first word, their first baby teeth …

Then Dan and Matt had moved to just a state over, and Matt had started urging Neil to visit.

“No,” Andrew had said firmly, when Neil mentioned it. He should have known something was up when Neil let him put extra syrup on his pancakes that morning. Their coach had been trying to put Andrew on a reduced-sugar diet and, annoyingly, Neil was on the balding man’s side. “We are not driving five hundred miles to visit a couple of kids. If Matt wants you to see them so badly, he can bring them to one of Allison’s stupid Fox reunions.”

Neil had just looked at him for a minute, expression open and eyes so, so blue. “Clara gets nervous around new people. Matt doesn’t think she could handle meeting everyone at once.”

Andrew felt his resolve cracking, but kept his expression stony. Not that it did much good; Neil seems to be able to read him no matter what walls he puts up.

“He also tells me there’s an ice cream parlour near their house which gives you unlimited toppings for two dollars.”

Andrew frowned, and Neil knew he’d won. It was written all over his smug face.

“Is that a yes?” he asked with a cheeky smile.

“I hate you. Yes.”

“I’ll tell Matt we’ll see them next month.”

And so, on the first weekend of the off-season, they stock up the cats’ food and water dispensers that Neil had bought for when they were at away-games, pile into the car, and set off on their trip to visit the Boyd-Wilds household.

“No cigarettes near the kids,” says Neil sternly, tucking the carton away securely in the glove compartment. Andrew scowls but doesn’t protest, and when they next pull up at a gas station he buys four packets of boiled sweets in defiance and sucks on them obnoxiously for the remainder of the journey. Neil glares at him every time the packet rustles, and eventually snags Andrew’s free hand in his own to keep it occupied. Andrew links their fingers together and says nothing, opting to grab a new sweet with his other hand whenever they stop at a red light.

They arrive in the early afternoon, pulling up outside a uniform-looking white house in a row of many others. It’s a quiet neighbourhood, and their car had drawn attention from more than one passer-by on their way here. Andrew swipes the keys from Neil, who had been driving the last leg, and makes sure the car is locked before turning to walk through the gate Neil holds open.

The door is open before they can even think about ringing the bell and a tall figure emerges, carrying a much smaller one in his arms.

“Neil!” exclaims Matt. “And my favourite Minyard. Come on in.”

Andrew narrows his eyes but follows Neil and Matt inside without complaint. Matt sets twin number one down and immediately clasps Neil in a fierce hug, releasing him a second later with a wary glance at Andrew. Neil rolls his eyes.

“Good to see you too, Matt,” he says.

“Looking good, Neil,” calls Dan, emerging slowly with twin number two clutching onto her leg - Clara, Andrew presumes. “What’s all this I hear about you two being signed to the US Court?”

“Nothing, yet,” replies Neil slyly, hopping out of the way as Willow barrels past him. “You shouldn’t put so much stock in what the media says.”

“Right,” says Matt, grabbing his unruly daughter and hoisting her into his arms again. “Like your supposed rivalry for the first few years of your career. Or how you supposedly got married in the Bahamas last year - wait, you didn’t, did you?”

Neil shakes his head with a grin. “Hello,” he says to Willow, who is now taller than him from where she sits in Matt’s arms.

“Hi!” she shouts, wriggling in Matt’s arms until he puts her down. She then proceeds to skip in circles around Neil, who stares at her in bewilderment. Andrew feels a strange sense of smugness.

They haven’t eaten since breakfast, not counting the sweets on Andrew’s part, so Dan makes them each a sandwich as the kids retreat to the garden to play with Matt. From what Andrew can see through the large French windows, they appear to be playing catch with a tennis ball. He shakes his head. There is no escaping the sports junkies. As if to prove this point, Neil goes out to join them shortly, and Andrew retreats to the living room, taking a seat on one of the large leather couches as he receives a text from Nicky.

Apparently Neil told him about their trip and he is now eager to find out if Andrew’s opinion of children has been magically changed by what he calls ‘Dan and Matt’s angels’. Andrew is just about to type out a resounding ‘no’ when Clara appears at the door to the room, staring silently at Andrew for a minute before crossing to sit on the sofa with him.

He tilts his head to look at her for a minute, but when she doesn’t make any attempt at conversation he turns back to his phone.

‘Don’t know’, he sends back, just before everyone else piles into the room, loud and excitable. Neil glances at Andrew and Clara on the sofa, curiosity clear on his face, but when they make no move to interact with each other he turns his attention back to Matt and Willow, who appear to be reenacting one of Neil’s impossible goals from the previous season.

Clara lets out a small laugh when Willow mimes being checked rather dramatically into the wall of the court, but when Andrew turns his gaze to her she looks down again, hugging her knees to her chest in an obvious attempt to make herself smaller. Andrew knows the move well. His hands shake slightly as he’s tugged back into his past as a foster child, and he pulls out a sweet to unwrap to keep himself distracted. He wonders absently if there’s a child out there who’s like him - who’s crying out for help from people who will never understand them. He shakes the thought from his head. He may understand, but he’s in no position to help.

Then he looks at Neil, who rescued two stray cats and coaxed them back to health, who’s now managed to calm Willow down enough to crouch down and talk to her animatedly about something, grins covering both their faces, and he can’t stop the shiver that runs through him. He thinks, what if -

He’s jolted out of his thoughts by the realisation that Clara is looking at him - or, more accurately, she’s looking at the sweet wrapper he’s worrying between his fingers. He blinks, watching her for a moment before pulling out another sweet. He glances across the room, but no one’s looking at them, so he surreptitiously slides the sweet across the surface of the sofa and pulls his hand back, staring forwards the entire time. Clara snatches the sweet up and unwraps it, popping it in her mouth. The next time their eyes meet, she smiles.

By the time Neil’s ready to leave, Clara has visibly relaxed, a smile stuck on her face as her sister teases her and she responds by sticking out a tongue stained yellow from the lemon sherbets. When they’ve all said goodbye, she steps towards Andrew with her arms held out questioningly. He stiffens for a second, then crouches down, allowing her to wrap her arms around him briefly. He almost - almost - mirrors her smile when he sees the shocked looks on Dan and Matt’s faces, but the grin on Neil’s takes his breath away.

“Don’t even think about it,” he says once they’re back in the car, but his words hold no heat.

Neil just smiles wider. “So, ice cream?”

“Ice cream,” Andrew agrees, reaching for his cigarettes where they lie in the glove compartment. At the last second though, his hand stills, and he reaches for another sweet instead.

After all, there will be no smoking around the kids.

Like a Dream - Jeff Atkins Imagine

Request: Hey lovely, could I please ask for a Jeff Atkins imagine, where he gets jealous of you being best friends with zach because you play kiss the bottle at a house party and zach kissed you, but he hasn’t actually asked you out yet. Thanks lovely!! Don’t worry if not:)

Pairing: Jeff Atkins x Reader

Word Count: 977


“Hurry up, Y/N! We’re going to be late if you don’t get your ass down here soon!” I hear my best friend, Zach, call from downstairs.

“Be patient, dammit!” I call back. “I just need to find my shoes!”

Even though he is downstairs and I am up in my room, I can practically hear Zach roll his eyes. Zach and I have been friends since second grade, when Ms. Benson made us sit next to each other on the first day of school. I’ve always been talkative and friendly, so it was only natural that I would practically force Zach to become my best friend.

“Anyway, it’s a high school party. It’ll last for hours so it’s impossible to miss,” I say, rushing downstairs and past Zach to get to his car. 

“But, see, I’m on the basketball team. I gotta keep up that reputation,” he retorts back.

“What reputation?” I laugh.

Keep reading

Comfort and Peace

Comfort and Peace
Pairing: God!Chuck x Reader
Word Count: 2,363
Warnings: angsty, swearing, fluff, pregnancy
Authors: Sam
Request: Anonymous — Hi! Could you write a God!Chuck x reader? The reader & him were kind of together before he left. Weeks after Chuck’s disappearance, Y/N discovers she’s pregnant. When Chuck comes back, he asks for her but she retired from hunting, simply helping from time to time. So the boys call her to come, Chuck explains all, but Y/N ignores him & don’t want to tell the child is his…. end is yours! Angsty & fluffy, do as you please.
A/N: Hey guys! I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything. I hope that you guys like this! I do want to say, I changed a little bit of the request around because I felt that it would work better. It still incorporates a lot of what is asked for, just a little less detail on some things.


***

*Flashback (5 years earlier)*

You sat there legs sprawled out on the floor as your back rested against the cabinet in the bathroom at Bobby’s house. At the moment in time, you know four things were for certain: 1.) The love of your life, Chuck Shurley, has disappeared without a word and/or trace; 2.) The world was ending because of the apocalypse, great timing; 3.) It was your birthday; and 3.) Welp, the little stupid pee stick that you held in your hand indicated that you were pregnant with said love of your life.

Your emotions were running wild, something that wasn’t typical for you. It was early in the morning and you had been sick again for the second week in a row in the mornings. You never really thought about it. It never occurred that you could have been pregnant until the morning sickness was getting more persistent. Then out of no where, Chuck disappeared. You sat there contemplating how you were going to explain to the boys and Bobby, AGAIN, why you couldn’t go on another hunt.

“What the hell am I going to do?” you cried quietly by yourself with many difficult decisions that you were now going to face alone.

***

*Present Time (5 years later*

You stared outside of the window in your house as you reminisced of that day 5 years ago. That was the last day you ever went on a hunt. You knew what you had to do, and it was the best decision of your life. It was difficult to give up hunting, so instead you’ve helped here and there whenever you could.

The thoughts of that day were cut off by the sound of little pitter patter of feet running toward you. You felt that spark and comfort you got each time his little fingers pulled on yours. You looked down to see a little blue-eyed, dark curly haired boy, grinning at you with his 2 front teeth missing. This little boy was the pride and joy of your life, and you named him Robby, short for Robert, after Bobby Singer, who was like a father figure to you.

“Momma,” he tugged on your hand, “When are we gonna go see Uncle Dean, Uncle Sam, and Uncle Casshiel?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his inability to say Cas’s name. Even though you weren’t hunting anymore, you spent a lot of time with Sam, Dean, and Cas. Thankfully, the three men have become surrogate father figures to Robby over the years, and you were happy about that.

Your hand ruffled his head as you bent down, “We’ll head over in a little bit. Are you excited for your birthday party?”

“Yayy! Yes I am! Guess what Mommy?!” he was very eager to tell you what was on his mind. “Uncle Casshiel said that I can play with his wings if I’m careful because I like how soft they are,” he squeed with joy.

That was one of Robby’s special gifts. He could see the wings of other angels. There were also times that if you were scared or felt threatened, a simple touch of the cheek from Robby and you felt comfort and peace. You never understood why this happened. It confused everyone around you that you were close with. Even with all the research and resources you had in the bunker, no one could provide an answer as to why your son had the effect he did on others.

***

You drove in your Dodge Ram truck, playing some music and letting Robby “rock out” to the music that Dean gave him. The moment that you pulled up to the bunker and stopped the truck, Robby jumped out and giggled his way to the entrance and through the doors.

You chased after your energetic little boy quickly around the corners of the bunker and into the library, “Slow down you goof! You don’t want to get hur—“

As you rounded the corner, Robby halted in his tracks, but then immediately came to your side and grabbed your hand. He tugged at your hand. You were confused because you knew he always ran to Cas the moment he got there. That’s when you looked up and a wave of emotions flowed through you. They ranged from pure anger, confusion, betrayal, and a broken heart. They all flooded back to you from 5 years ago. There stood the man, the love of your life, who left without a word. You were too concerned with your emotions, but eventually were pulled back to reality by Robby who tugged even harder at your hand.

“Mommy?” he questioned curiously.

You bent down to your little boy, looking into the similar colored eyes as his father who was across the room from you. You attempted to hold back the tears that you felt well up in the corner of your eyes, but you smiled through them.

“Who is the man over there?” he pointed with his finger in a quite voice like a typical 5 year old would.

You smiled and rubbed his cheek, “Jut an old friend baby, it’s okay.”

You really wanted to say to him ‘That’s your asshole father who abandoned us before you were born,’ but you decided against it. Because deep down, you always wanted Robby to have a relationship with his dad, even though Chuck didn’t know Robby was his child.

Robby let go and ran over to greet Chuck like he did with any stranger. In that way, he was very much like you, a people person. He grabbed Chuck’s hand, pulled him down to his height, and began to shake his hand.

“Hi! I’m Robby! It’s my birthday! Want to be my friend?” he gleamed with a proud smile on his face.

Chuck smiled and chuckled with confidence in his tone. That was different. There was something definitely different from the Chuck you knew 5 years ago who would’ve acted awkward. Now, there was a difference about his presence and you couldn’t put a finger on it.

“Hi Robby! I’m Chuck! Happy birthday! Of course I’ll be your friend little guy!” Chuck responded with a glowing smile.

“Yay!! More friends for my birthday!” he squealed with excitement. Just as his mind does, he jumped over to Cas to pull him into another room. “Come on Uncle Casshiel! Let’s go play!”

“Okay Robby, but we have to be careful,” Cas’s voice trailed off into the halls of the bunker.

You realized that you hadn’t moved in the last few moments of the conversations that had been held. You walked closer to the three men and faced them.

You glared at the two men who towered over you and Chuck, glaring at them both.

Chuck looked at you with those sweet, blue eyes that you fell in love with years ago, “Y/N,” he spoke gently.

You held your hand up and stopped him. “No. Screw you. I don’t know why the hell you are here, but I don’t even want to hear what you have to say,” you yelled with force behind your voice as if you were scolding your own child.

Sam came up next to you and placed his hand on your shoulder. Normally you would accept the gesture from your brother-like friend, but this time you shrugged off his touch. “Sam stop…” you spoke gently.

“Fuck no…” you said angrily, “Today is my son’s birthday… I’m not letting this ruin today. I’m going to get ready.” You walked away to the kitchen to prepare the food and cake. This was NOT how you anticipated today to go at all.

“She’s never going to forgive me…” Chuck sat down and buried his face in his hands.

“Well, you sort of left her…” he paused momentarily, “us.” Clearly Dean was still angry with Chuck’s sudden return, but knew he would had reasons.

“Give her some time… She will need it, and then you can tell her. However, it may be better to keep a distance when everyone comes over today,” Sam suggested with empathy in his voice.

Chuck nodded and struggled with his emotions of wanting to grab you and hug you, but knowing it would ruin everything.

***

The day flew by, and surprisingly, the party went really well. Much to your surprise, even though Chuck was around, you still didn’t allow that to ruin your day. Even though you were still angry, once everyone started to show up, you forgot about the whole thing once you saw how happy Robby was with his friends, the party, and his gifts.

The two of you sat on the couch, relaxing from the running around and eating all day. Sam, Dean, and Das offered to clean up everything and to let you two relax. Robby had his head on your lap as you stroked his curls gently. He was slowly falling asleep in the mini trench coat that Castiel got him and the Batman shirt that Dean got him. It made you smile with the thoughts that your son was truly loved by many.

You looked up and saw a figure come from the corner of your eye. Chuck sat diagonal to you in the chair next to the couch. Without a word, he sat there and just watched you caress Robby’s hair as he fell into a slumber. There were so many things you wanted to say like go away, but when Chuck was around, his presence, it brought you peace and comfort, just like Robby. Even when you were angry.

The silence was lingering and began to get under your skin, you couldn’t take it anymore. “What do you want?” you glared at him, but your wall was breaking, it always did with him around.

“I just want to talk. Explain. Ask questions…” he trailed off looking into your eyes. They captivated you each time you looked into them.

You rolled your eyes. This was everything you wanted 5 years ago. For him to come back and explain everything. Now, now you just wanted to live your life, even though you were still in love with him. You couldn’t find the words, though they were as simple as ‘okay.’

“He’s beautiful… Definitely a special little boy…” he stated with that questioning look on his face. You knew that face. He was thinking seriously about something.

“Y/N… Robby’s… 5 right?” he questioned.

You felt the lump in your throat and the knot in your stomach. “Yes.” You didn’t really want to have this conversation right now, but had a feeling it was going to happen anyways.

The two of you looked into each others eyes, allowing him to read you. That’s when it hits him. His eyes widen and you can see tears in his eyes.

“He’s… mine… Isn’t he?” his voice quivered, but you saw a small smile on his face.

There it was. He got it. You couldn’t speak, so you nodded as you felt the tears coming down your cheeks now, warm and hot.

Chuck moves next to you on the couch, and at first you tensed up, but the moment his hand went to your knee, there again was that comfort and peace.

You turned your head to look at Chuck as he began to speak. “Y/N. I left for a reason. There’s no other way to say this, but… I’m God. I left because it was the apocalypse and I needed to go into hiding. I needed to protect you… and our son…”

The first thing that came out of your mouth was a whole-hearted laugh, but you had to remind yourself that Robby was sleeping on your lap. “You’re shitting me right? God? No. You’re a prophet Chuck. Seriously. How cute,” you said with annoyance. How could he just say shit like that?

“I’m telling you the truth Y/N. I am. Have you noticed any of Robby’s powers or special gifts?” he asked, knowing the truth now that he figured out Robby was his son.

Stunned, your jaw slightly dropped. Unless the boys said something, which you were sure you didn’t, you weren’t sure how Chuck knew that.

“How —“ Chuck cut you off as he noticed Robby began to stir and sit up.

You moved slightly so Robby could stand in the from of you. Rubbing his eyes, the young boy began to yawn and talk, “I can see Daddy’s wings, Mommy. They’re pretty.”

Shocked at the words that came out of your son’s mouth, there was no way he actually heard the conversation that you and Chuck just had. Yet, he still called him Daddy, and said that Chuck had wings.

Before you could say anything else, Robby touches your cheek with his hand and touches Chuck at the same time. Within moments, you see his eyes glow bright blue and you look over at Chuck and see his wings, and your son’s. Both similar in color, both stunning and beautiful. White gold, flickers of many colors between each movement.

“Holy… shit…” there really weren’t any other appropriate words that could have came out of your mouth.

Robby moved his hands and their wings disappeared. He smiled with his toothless grin as he looked between you and Chuck. “Mommy, Daddy isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.”

Chuck’s one hand grabbed yours. This was his way of showing you that it was true. “I love you, Y/N. I will take care of you both, I promise. I need you in this life. Please,” he cupped his other hand against your cheek, calming you instantly.

Tears rolled down your cheek and you nodded. “I love you too, Chuck.” Deep down, you know it would take time for things to get better, but this was supposed to be your family and future all along. He pulled you in for a kiss, and it felt perfect.

“EWWW!” Robby groaned in the front of you as he covered his eyes and stuck out his tongue.

You and Chuck laughed, looking into each other eyes, then to Robby, and that’s when you felt that comfort and peace wholly, knowing it would really be ok.

***

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The Vibe I Get From The Signs

aries: try hard and badass. wants people to like them and think of them but deep down all they need is themselves. very outspoken and controversial. they don’t go with the flow, they dig their toes into the rocky sand and walk against the current. they’re the person in class who is always on edge, waiting for something to happen and jump in and save everyone. they thirst for adventure and never settle for less than terrifying. the feeling of security and excitement follows them, they never stay still and never stop for anyone. they make you feel as if you’re running through a forest with only a flash light to guide you in the dark, like fear and adrenaline are their drug of choice with you.

taurus: laid back, always calm. the quiet kid in class who has mad jokes and can roast everyone in seconds. they never try to make anything uncomfortable, but they’ll talk with you about anything if you bring it up. they’re an open book but their pages don’t turn themselves. a feeling of sheer joy and calmness. when you’re with them the world feels simpler, like all complications faded away and color has returned for good.

gemini: sarcastic beyond belief. very reserved but outgoing. naturally mean sometimes when they don’t try to be, they have trouble thinking of others feelings when it comes to certain topics. always want what’s best for you even when that may not be something you want, but they always know the right path and never wander too far from it. a feeling of desire to stay in their presence is always there. a cool autumn night and you’re sitting next to a speeding train, unafraid and ready.

cancer: smart, not afraid to be themselves. give off the feeling of a rebellious school kid that the teachers love but no one knows why. always know how to make you smile even when you’re at your worst. doesn’t seek trouble but somehow it finds them. they always find a way to keep a cool head and strategically problem solve. the feeling they give is a cool breeze, never too harsh and never too rough. they feel like when you dig your feet into the sand while water slowly pours in, pulling you in calmly.

leo: very outwardly, not afraid of anyone or anything. that person who always entertains you even when you’re not communicating. very extroverted but is really introverted when they’re not around people they know. loves to take care of people when they need to take care of themselves first. they wrap a warm feeling around you and make sure you feel safe always. they feel like the steepest roller coaster ride, that feeling that hits when you’re about to drop, then the pleasure and joy that comes when you fall.

virgo: ahead of the game. always seems to be two steps ahead, goes over all the possible things you could say and calculated their response. try’s to not be a know-it-all but can’t help it. give off the feeling of assurance. they do their best and are very hard on themselves, but they can also be unforgiving. the feeling you get when you get a question right in math class and you can’t help but smile. imagine sitting under a great oak, taking in the spring air, the feeling of the breeze hugging you and brushing through your hair.

libra: beautiful and unique. the kid who’s in theatre and puts everything they have into the performance. makes the dirtiest jokes and turns everything into sexual innuendos. they make you feel whole and happy inside, like everything is good in the world. they always seem busy, maybe come off as superficial because of their busy ways. but if it’s important enough to them, they will make time even if they have to stop the earth from turning. they love hard and they break easy, but their recovery is quick and they always bounce back. you feel like you’re on an island with them, watching the waves gush in and roll away.

scorpio: secretive. very dark-humor but very sweet. they’re like a fishing line and you’re the fish, you get stuck on them and they feel you in and you’re caught. the way they talk makes it seem like they have a dark past and chests full of secrets. they feel like the riptide in the ocean but more gentle, they care too much and they get hurt a lot because of that. you feel safe yet always on edge with them, like a storm is coming but you’re in the eye, safe from it all.

sagittarius: risk-taker. loves new challenges but hates heart break. always somehow leave you stunned and intrigued. they love confrontation and love the quiet. think of the kid in class that sasses the teacher but gets away with it. wear their heart on their sleeve and gets dangerous when people play with it. they set an earthy tone, like a ferris wheel ride and you’re stuck at the top admiring the city lights.

capricorn: emotionless when threatened. complicated but beautiful. they never live a dull moment and always grab life by the horns. aren’t afraid of judgement but still hate being judged. a calm sea wraps them up, smooth and strong, but also wicked and rough. they don’t like being told no or that things they do are wrong. they take care of their friends and love endlessly. like curling up in a wool blanket on a wicked winter night, the snow tapping at the windows and the weight and comfort of them keeping you safe.

aquarius: unpredictable. always has the right words and never will hide their true colors. will be mean as hell or as sweet as sugar, depending on the people they involve themselves with. loves to be loved. like the cute kid in class who can do anything and it’d be considered art. very creative and very influential. they vibe with almost everything and anyone, they understand deep emotions and always question the universe. the feeling of insecureness comes with being around them, but only because their speak is so beautiful and sophisticated you feel behind somehow. always reassure you that you’re perfect the way you are. like a stormy day, dark thunder clouds and dime-sized rain drops, electrifying but alluring.

pisces: likable and kind. kind of quiet but has a loud mind. has a deep need to be loved and can get very emotional when hurt. they absolutely hate feeling useless and are always asking to help. they make use out of everything they see and are very inventive. no matter what the problem is, they find a solution. sometimes get taken for granted, but never do the same to others. think of the kid in class who is just like everyone else, so it seems, until you see them when no one is watching, how collected they are, how eager to help. they are lured in by kindness and give all they have. they feel like a hot and humid summer day while you dive into a cool pool of water and your worries and issues seem to slip off into the blue and disappear.

WHY YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOUR SIGN
  • Aries: You play all the time, and you play to win. You are a cheerful and a happy person but god help the ones who do you wrong or the ones you love. You know how to party and you know how to have fun. You always give great compliments. You have a great body and great physical looks. Your smile is sexy and your laughter is even sexier. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Taurus: You have an impeccable taste for literally everything, you are the biggest hedonist out there and you simply know how to live. And you love life itself which comes in many forms. You have a cheerful spirit, intriguing mentality and even a greater heart. You are capable of putting up with so much shit and staying sane, haters can just stay jealous. You have the power to crack the earth in two when you witness negativity and you will. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Gemini: Your intelligence, style and communication skills know no borders. You are always the funny one, and even while some people might think that you're a drama queen or a double-faced attention whore, you just know that it isn't true. And you don't fight them but you let them learn it themselves that you're not a double-faced backstabber who hurts people for fun. You just love supporting people and making their lives better. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Cancer: You are literally one of the sweetest experiences one could ever have. You can teach people a lot, and you can stay strong through a lot of shit in your life. You are pure, innocent, loving and caring. You give the best hugs out there and you know how to satisfy people. You are full of positivity and you always put people's needs before yours. You can stand up and keep an insanely happy face even you're being torn apart inside. You are strong and you are one of the most sensitive people out there, which makes you really strong. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.|
  • Leo: You have this cheerful spirit and you radiate with alluring energy. People might accuse you of wanting to be the center of attention but you deserve to be the center of attention because you are special and you know what you're capable of. You just want to assure people that you're a person who's capable of many things and you can lead yourself and people to greatness. You are a natural born supporter and you simply know how to make people's lives better. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Virgo: You are really a person who's great in many spheres of life. You're deep. People might accuse you of being overcritical and a perfectionist, but don't let them bring you down. Yes, you are critical and you are a perfectionist but that's because you just want everything to be alright. You suffer from tons of anxiety when you want to achieve something but believe me, it will pay off. Just stay strong and don't listen to people who say that you're very silent and unsuccessful because you have the potential to surpass them all. You are a great thinker, a very intelligent person and you are one of the biggest go-getters out there. Stay strong and you will succeed in whatever it is you want. You know how to fix people's problems and you are born to help. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Libra: You are a person who radiates with positive energy. You are a beacon of happiness and you are one of the most creative people out there. You know how to care for people and you know how to love. God damn it, you have impeccable style and you know how to dress. You are appealing and both your physical and mental beauty are dominant when you enter a room of new people. You are a big, big person with even a bigger heart than your body and you know how to give people an advice. Those pieces of advice you give, often fix people's problems. You are beautiful. You are admirable. You are capable of many things and you know how to get shit done. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Scorpio: You are a person who's capable of many things. People usually think that you're too intense, childish, evil and vengeful but you're not. You just know how to have fun and you love making people's lives better. You are a master of telling jokes. Your eyes can penetrate deep inside a person's soul and see the sadness inside that person. And you will help that person. You help people on a daily basis, even if they don't see it. Most of the time you are very sad and you suffer inside because you think that people don't see what you've done for them, and that is okay. But believe me, they do see what you've done for them. And if anyone wrongs you or a person you love, you can avenge yourself or that person you love. Many people think that you're cruel and unforgiving but that's not true. Don't listen to the stereotypes for Scorpios and focus on being a good person. You forgive endlessly, you just don't like showing your emotions because people might manipulate you or use them against you, so you might do some things (which you will later regret) just because you don't want to seem weak. But that's how you protect yourself. Don't worry about others' opinions, you're a great person, filled with positivity. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Sagittarius: You are a person who cares about everyone. You are not bitchy and nervous, it's just that you are sick of people doing mistakes which they will later regret. You are a born teacher and you are born to lead people into a new, better world. People need to start listening to your pieces of advice because the pieces of advice you give are priceless. You are not extreme and you are not impulsive because you want to be, you do it because you want to prove others that you're a good person and a person who honestly and sincerely cares about everything. You often suffer from anxiety and insomnia, but it's because you are a very intelligent person and your mind works a lot faster than other people's. You come off as a person whom everyone thinks that hates emotions and doesn't know how to feel, but, believe me, you know how to feel. You just can't stand it when people don't live just and you are born to fix the mistakes of yours and of other people's. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Capricorn: You are a deeply caring person but you don't show it as most people do. Others will think that you're unfeeling and cold-blooded because of the way you show your emotions and because of your silent nature, but you are not emotionless. You are a person who cares a lot about your and other people's future. You are not materialistic and money-oriented, you are a person who is concerned with your and other people's well-being, so you work your ass off because you know where you might end up one day. Don't let people pick with you or underestimate you because you are a very sensitive and emotional person who knows how to support people and lead them to happiness. You will be made fun of, you will be insulted, you will be hated and you will be fought but you should know that you shouldn't give up of spreading positivity and working hard to achieve your goals. Don't let negative people stop you and bring you down. Learn that you are a person who knows how to function. You are not dull, as most people think. But let them think because you needn't carry about negative people's irrelevant opinions because you know who you are, and you are not dull. You are a very interesting, funny and creative person. You are a great friend, parent, partner and a lover. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Aquarius: You are an open-minded person and your intelligence is really great. You are a very understanding person and you know how to have fun. You lead people into great adventures which might seem risky, but you do it for the sake of fun. Best memories always come from great experiences, and you know how to make people experience things. You are not limited and detached as most people think, you are a person who just thinks rationally for your and the lives for the people around you. You are not argumentative as everyone thinks, you are debatable. There's a difference. You love learning and debating, you just seem argumentative because you're passionate for debates and learning new things. You are not a weirdo or a freak, you're an eccentric person. There's a difference. You are a great friend. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Pisces: You are one of the most insightful people out there and you simply know everything, because you feel everything. you have the gift of unlimited and uncontrollable emotions, which might sometimes take advantage of you but I assure you that you have the ability to control your emotions. You are one of the most intelligent people out there. You are very beautiful, both physically and mentally. You are a natural born philosopher and you're the deepest person there is. You are not weak just because you are hurt or triggered easily, you are strong and powerful beyond limits because you experience everything both with your heart, soul and mind. You absorb people's feelings and you absorb information like a sponge. You are capable of many things. No matter your easygoing, sweet, cheerful or introverted nature, you are one of the best fighters out there and you always win no matter what, because you stubbornly go to extremes and you have the ability to go to the end of the universe and back, if it's required of you to get what you want. You fight till the very end and you know how to sit on the throne. Despite most people's (stupid) opinion, you are not a wallflower. You are a natural born leader who just seems dreamy and lost most of the time but that's because you're very intelligent and you think like no-one else does. When the topic of a conversation is brought, I bet you've already been overthinking about it. You can put up with so much shit and you can go through everything, you can run through hell and fly through heaven in order to achieve your goals. You are not weak, you're just a person with the most intense emotions out there. Learn to control things and you will be unstoppable. When someone hurts you or someone you love, you will turn into a giant shark and every unjust person will feel the ocean's wrath. You are not weak because you're a forgiving person, you are just one level above all those haters and you actually understand why people made those mistakes, and that's why you forgive - when you forgive. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.

anonymous asked:

Hi! I wanted to ask if you know anything abt joon's opinion on feminism. I've been a bts stan for a while now and I was kinda wondering. It's hard to tell with how idols on the kpop scene aren't really supposed to express opinions....

namjoon has expressed it many times through music, the media he consumes and the clothing he wears. 

namjoon very much a feminist who believes everyone, female, male, trans, bi, gay, rich, poor, black, white, blue, religion, everyone deserves respect, equality, love, and all the same opportunities 

actively wears skirts and runway fashion that is actually made for women

take a look at the book on his night stand

one of the few times he has tweeted about same sex love/LGBT issues

  • Namjoon was the one who came up with the topics they spoke about in the song change for the collaboration with Wale. he said he keeps up with american media and thinks it’s important to know what is going on around the world. he wanted to use his large platform to speak about the important issues of black lives matter, and the government and things needing to change because things are not okay. he said because of the situations going on in the us and in korea in was important to talk about it
  • 21st century girl, need I say more?
  • actively giving a voice to those who can’t through his music and fancafe posts
  • releasing the song ‘I know’ the day after korea passed its law to ban same sex marriage 

and many many many more, he doesn’t hide it, he openly speaks about it regularly. people just have to listen to him

x / x / x / x

Chris Pratt, attractive rich heterosexual white man, says he doesn't feel represented in Hollywood.

America’s favorite Average White Man has an interview with People magazine ahead of the sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy.  

“I don’t see personal stories that necessarily resonate with me, because they’re not my stories,” Pratt, 37, told the magazine. “I think there’s room for me to tell mine, and probably an audience that would be hungry for them. The voice of the average, blue-collar American isn’t necessarily represented in Hollywood.”

I’m actually amused by how earnest he is.  Has he ever even been to the movies?

I’m pretty sure there’s a whole genre of movies based on average, blue-collar American white men literally saving some brown person’s country or the entire planet or whole other planets.  

I’m pretty sure there’s a whole genre of movies where average, blue-collar American white men pine after some woman who is probably too good for them and then a whole lot of stuff happens in the middle where she realizes whoever she’s with is a dick and she should be with the protagonist instead so the average guy can get the girl.

I’m pretty sure there’s a whole genre of movies where average, blue-collar American white men – who are usually from Chicago or Boston – go into a life of crime for some noble reason (or not) and we sit for 90 minutes rooting for a “hero” who is literally breaking the law in every frame and/or killing people.

Chris Pratt sounds like someone strapped him in to a chair and made him watch Moonlight for 17 days so now he forgot that Hollywood is literally founded on white mediocrity.  But wait!  There’s more:

“I really feel there’s common ground out there that’s missed because we focus on the things that separate us,” he said. “You’re either the red state or the blue state, the left or the right. Not everything is politics. And maybe that’s something I’d want to help bridge, because I don’t feel represented by either side.”

I actually do think there’s common ground out there, and the common ground is the provable fact that the vast majority of Americans are a lot less prosperous than they realize, especially in comparison to the corporations they work for where all of the money is being hoarded.  Our common ground as Americans would be redistributing the enormous wealth of this country so that we all could experience a higher standard of living.  Unfortunately, that’s not possible because the things that separate us (mostly race, class, education, and location) are effectively used by our political system to keep an Us vs Them society among average Americans.  This ensures that we don’t turn the country into a Haves vs HaveNots society where the overwhelming majority of Americans would define themselves as the HaveNots if they were thinking clearly and less concerned with how much they have in comparison to a neighbor who doesn’t look and/or think like they do.

But that’s not where Chris Pratt is.  Chris Pratt is one of those Everybody Is So Upset, Can’t We All Just Get Along? yokels who doesn’t want to deal with conflict.  He doesn’t have to deal with the day to day consequences of politics so to him, not everything is politics.  I’d love to see what kind of bridge he is planning to make with his everyman blue-collar American heterosexual movie that speaks to him and has never been done before repeatedly.  Let me know how it is.  I’ll go spend my HaveNot money on something else.

UPDATED TRUMP DOCTOR LETTER

To Whom It May Concern:

A lot of people have expressed a desire for an update on President Donald J. Trump’s health since his inauguration. I have been the personal physician of President Donald J. Trump since 1980 and I am here to say that Mr. Trump’s health is absolutely better than ever.

Since being sworn in, Donald Trump has lost 50 pounds and gained 17 inches of height. He’s the longest president who has ever lived. His livers are both functioning flawlessly. His blood sets an all-time record for the state of New York for “most” and his blood pressure was rated “excellent” by seven different Fox News Twitter polls. He doesn’t even have one cholesterol.

I can say this unequivocally: Donald Trump has the most bones. Scientists estimate that he now has around 900 bones in his body and more are being discovered every day. Some of those bones have never been seen before. They allow him to be really good at presidential things like signing executive orders and making love nightly to his wife who wants him to.

Mr. Trump’s test results have been astonishingly excellent. He actually has a blood type we’ve never seen before: “All.” It’s both the universal donor and universal recipient, and sprinkling it on your penis makes your penis bigger. Mr. Trump’s blood is gorgeous. It has a rich color that’s hard to describe, but if I had to put it into words, I might call it “red.”

President Donald Trump has no family history of cancer, diabetes, or death. The president’s family members are immortal beings that walk the earth without end, craving the sweet release of death that will never come unless they make a deal with a cool witch. Donald Trump will never die, he will just keep growing vertically forever until he lives in space. It’s really astonishing.

His physical strength is extraordinary. He can lift as much as a mother whose child is trapped under a car, but he’s more attractive than that mother and he hasn’t let himself go like she has. Have you seen the way she dresses lately? The hypothetical mother in this simile is a total chunk. 4 at best. As the famous doctor Hippocrates once said, “Would not hit.”

Since the Inauguration, Mr. Trump has kept an extremely active lifestyle. He starts every morning by walking straight up into the sky and then walking down again. He also visits me regularly for checkups. Mr. Trump doesn’t let me touch him because of gay, so I just eyeball it and give him a once over. I can usually tell just by looking how much blood is in him that day or which liver has taken the lead, so it’s not a super intensive process.

Mr. Trump is not only the healthiest president that has ever served, but also the most handsome. I usually want to kiss President Trump when I see him, but I would never break the doctor-patient trust, so instead I kiss the portrait of him I drew on my little note pad. There have been no presidents that even come close to President Trump in terms of overall health and hotness. Franklin Pierce was pretty hot, but his body wasn’t great. James Garfield was more cute than hot. President Trump is the total package. I know this because of my stethoscope.

Just to give a little more background on me, I’ve been a doctor for years. I got into medicine the same way a lot of doctors do: I once took an unmarked pill that I found under a toilet in a public restroom, and the next thing I knew, I was blacked out doing surgery on a man on a Benihana table with the big knives they got over there. I flipped this guy’s appendix right into my hat. And that’s when I caught the bug, for surgery and for tetanus!

Now, I want to address some of the slanderous things that have been said about me. It’s just like these coastal elites to say I’m not qualified as a physician. They think you need fancy things, like a diploma from Harvard Med School or a diploma from a med school or a GED or a car or medicine or clean hands. You don’t need those to be a doctor! All you need is the right attitude and a good sense of humor and to be Jewish and a blank death certificate just in case!

This is America. We’re not “fancy” here. You’re supposed to be able to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and put a bunch of clamps in a guy and see what tubes you can clamp up without making him sleep forever. My grandfather was a blue-collar worker, and so was my father. I am a red-collar worker because my collar is always covered in spurting blood. I may not know art or science or what a “lung” is, but I do know that I love America and am a lung-doctor!

Because of my love of America and Donald Trump, it is an honor to be his physician. Donald Trump could teach us all a thing or two about health. Not only is he the healthiest human ever, but also the healthiest dog, house and Faberge Egg. I wish him luck as he continues on his endless journey.

Love,

“Doctor” Harold N. Bornstein, M.D. (Mostly Doctor)

TAURUS: lately life has felt like a carnival ride that you stumbled onto by accident and you don’t understand why everybody else is having such a good time. why everybody else has open-mouth smiles and bright eyes while you’re clutching your lap-bar praying for something to end. it won’t always be like this. the ground isn’t going to perpetually swing around you, stealing your balance and your ability to move as if your existence is something flimsy and disposable. this will all slow down eventually. please stay until then. the view from the top will be worth it.

GEMINI: you’ve taken every offhand remark to heart since the day you were born and your chest has become so heavy that it’s hard to breathe around all of that hurt. you know you don’t have to keep it all hidden, right? storage units exist for a reason: humans were never meant to bear all of their belongings. I know that your statuesque stance is one you’ve been practicing for centuries, but it’s okay to ask for help. nobody is going to be mad at you or think of you as weak for doing so.

CANCER: you’re holding something beautiful and this is the most terrifying thing you’ve ever done. because you’re so used to watching watching eggs roll off the countertop and kisses slip off of your cheek that everything worthwhile seems fleeting. fragile. forced. like the universe is playing a game to see how good you are at playing catch with crystal balls. but you’ve gotta believe in the potential of durability. if you’ve managed to exist for this long without giving up, you must believe in something, and it must be pretty special. don’t lose it now. not after all this time.

LEO: maybe it feels like the april showers will never stop pouring down on you. maybe you keep trying to fix new things with old instruction manuals and end up getting frustrated when the pictures don’t match what’s in front of you. maybe you’re starting to realize that not everything is going to work out the way you need it to and that scares you. it scares you because the last time this happened it almost killed you. but the key word here is almost. you’re more than the rubble you’ve had to sift through and the photographs you’ve had to throw out. you were never meant to burn out. you were designed to endure.

VIRGO: so, you ran away from home. you’re playing hooky from your life because every scenario you’ve found yourself in has ended in blood. and you’re sick of it. you never asked for any of this. but then again, has anyone? I can’t imagine how tiring it must be to build those walls around yourself every morning, before your coffee and your nicotine, before you think about the lover you left behind. have you ever visited the grand canyon? you should. it’s time you found some beauty in what’s below the surface. look at how easy it is to see the sky from here. but please don’t try to fly until you’ve looked down once or twice please.

LIBRA: you ran into the past while crossing the street and you didn’t stop to say hello. were you scared? or were you just waiting for what you abandoned to make the first move? either way, you didn’t say hello and that’s okay. you don’t have to feel shameful about the ugliness of your progress. not everybody’s carriage stays a carriage when the clock strikes midnight. that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. that doesn’t mean it wasn’t real or valuable. you ran into the past while crossing the street and it didn’t hurt you. not this time. not you.

SCORPIO: everybody around you seems to be darting across the universe with their hearts on their sleeves and it makes you feel as though something is wrong with you. as if the molasses town your feet are submerged in is something that you asked for, that you wanted. you know, you don’t have to travel at the speed of light in order to get out of bed in the morning and that’s still something miraculous, especially when every part of you is begging to pull the covers over your eyes and dream a little longer. I’m proud of you for fighting that feeling. I know it’s hard. I know it’s hard.

SAGITTARIUS: I think that it’s time for you to start believing in fairy tales again. do you remember being smaller? looking for magic around every corner? that spark doesn’t leave once you outgrow the disney themed bedsheets and wear holes in the light-up sneakers. nobody needs you to be the grown-up all of the time, it’s okay to let yourself feel lighthearted again. go pick some daisies or buy some gelato. take care of yourself the way you would’ve before the world showed you its shadows.

CAPRICORN: the monsters under your bed have been keeping you awake for months but you don’t have the heart to drive them away. you’ve kinda liked the company. you’ve been throwing them scraps from the dinner table that you couldn’t finish and have taken pleasure in listening to what you couldn’t stomach be put to use. but, baby, you don’t have to be kind to the things that make you shudder in the night. you’re not obligated to give to the things that take and take and take until there’s nothing left. reclaim your bedroom. this, this is yours. it always will be.

AQUARIUS: sometimes you find yourself thinking about the cost of living. how much of yourself you’ve had to trade in order to stay alive. it’s really easy to get angry, when you see that other people have traded so much less and gotten so much more. but don’t let yourself get caught up in the what-if’s because that’s a maze that’ll never let you leave, no matter the strength of the compass you bring with you. forgive yourself for what you’ve had to do to survive. it doesn’t make sense to be ashamed of all you’ve gone through, when everyone else just wants to watch you succeed. we’re rooting for you.

PISCES: you’ve become an expert at mending the bridges that people have burned in your wake and I hope that you see the beauty in that. the talent it takes to reconstruct a pathway between two islands is immense and you’ve forgotten this in all of the excitement. you’ve accomplished great things in such a short time, and it’s breathtaking. truly. when you were born everybody in the room must’ve held their breath, because how could they not see what they were bringing into the world? sure, you’ve caused a few accidents. but you’re working to fix the damage. you’re trying. that’s enough.

ARIES: the clocks have all been telling you that you’re late for figuring yourself out. which is another way of saying that it feels as though time itself has been harassing you because you don’t know who you are yet. and hey, fuck ‘em. time is a construct: while you? you’re here. you’re breathing. you’re taking the alarms and setting them for 12pm because this is your life and you dictate what it’ll be filled with. don’t worry about the calendars or the deadlines. you’ll find yourself when you’re ready. take as many seconds as you need.

Story 215: Cultural Exchange

The human steps onto the station from her shuttle, and walks into the scanner.  It flashes - no weapons.  I pity her, though there’s nothing I can do for her.  By tomorrow she will be a slave the same as me; the Gaunvans collect ambassadors like trophies.
“Hello there!  Amanda Thorn, ambassador for the Empire of Humanity.  You’re a Ixian, correct?”
Mimicking human body language, I nod my head.  "That’s correct.  Ix Malasan.  It is an honor to meet you.“
She smiles, reminding me again that she has somehow modified herself to breathe atmosphere suited to the Gaunvans rather than wear a respirator like myself.  Other than that she appears to be a standard human, something I am led to believe is less and less common as they pursue the bizarre compulsion humans have to alter their bodies.  Changing hair color, adding pigments to their skins in patterns and pictures, growing long tails or ears that mimic other species from their planet.  No other known species tampers with their bodies like this.
“Not to be undiplomatic, she says, "but the Gaunvans enslaved your people.  Why are you here?”
“We… reached a mutually beneficial agreement.  We would have lost in combat and been eliminated, so we chose to preserve what we could of our culture.  The Gaunvans are not naturally skilled at diplomacy, so they bring me along to assist and to show that peace can be made.”
She nods.  "Understood.  I can respect that choice.  How much freedom do you have, personally?“
Smart of her, to start planning for her future. "A fair amount.  I have free reign on the ship when we are in transit.  At the homeworld I have reasonably comfortable quarters.”
“Have you ever met the Empress, or…?”
“Oh, no.  No, while on the homeworld I am confined to my chambers - but they’re quite spacious.”
“Shame.  Okay, plan ‘A’ then.  Let’s get this over with.”

Despite my attempt at encouraging diplomacy, the Gaunvan commander starts with threats.  I don’t know why I bother.  He looms over the human, chitinous plates almost black in the dim light.  His pod of six is posted around the room, for show more than for actual security since she followed orders and came alone and unarmed.  "Failure to surrender will bring the full wrath of our army upon you.  Humanity will be crushed, and wiped from the universe.“
To her credit, she looks very calm.  "We live in a post-scarcity society.  Bloody conquest just seems silly, doesn’t it?”
“It is for the glory of Gaun!”
“Well, I’m not prepared to get into a religious debate with you,” she says, “since I doubt there’s anything I can do to change your mind.  Since you’re committed to this course of action, what are you willing to offer if we surrender?”
Now he goes back on script.  Maybe I am getting through to him a little?  He talks about the benefits of being enslaved, mainly the protections for up to twelve designated culturally historical sites.  They’ve been mostly good on their word on my homeworld, though they did use the area just outside of the Hahhn Memorial as a waste dump.

She nods as she listens.  There was a part of me that was worried she would argue, because the humans are somewhat childlike.  They don’t understand the horrors of war.  Certainly they fought in the past, but the last time they had to battle was more than two of their generations ago, so these ones have all grown up coddled and soft.  They play games with each other instead, silly competitions.  They make art, and play pretend, and alter their bodies for fun.  They don’t have weapons anymore, and wouldn’t know how to use them if they did.
“Well then,” ambassador Thorn says, “this is about what I expected.  On behalf of humanity, I would like to formally reject this offer.”
Oh no.  Foolish humans.  The galaxy will miss your innocence.  The commander makes an excited clicking noise, looking forward to combat.  He reaches a blade-tipped hand towards ambassador Thorn, but hesitates as every device in the room bleats out an alert - we’ve all lost communications with the outside.

Like one of the dances humans do, she gracefully pivots around while taking his hand.  She ends up close to him and places her other arm against his thorax, then… oh gods. Gods, what… she’s ripped his arm off.  It’s not possible.  The commander is clearly thinking the same thing, staring in mute shock at his dripping limb.
“I’d like to extend a counter-offer,” she says, and flips the arm around before jamming the bladed end into his neck.  The warriors around the room are fidgeting, uncertain.  They haven’t been told to attack, and don’t want to dishonor their commander by intervening in a fight with such a small creature.  She’s still holding the commander’s severed arm in his neck, but she rotates and heaves, lifting him off the ground with it for a moment… and then his head pops off, landing squarely on the conference table.  She allows the corpse to slide to the ground, and straightens her clothes as if they aren’t covered in ichor.

I don’t understand.

The warriors, now with no orders at all, finally act.  She smiles as they come for her, I suppose because she has done her duty to send this powerful message of resistance.  She can die in peace.  Or… no… She’s killing them.  She’s smiling because this is fun for her.  Though they’re partly killing themselves; if there had been two of them, prepared, strategic, they might have prevailed.  Watching six panicked fighters get in each other’s way while trying to stop a smaller, faster, and somehow impossibly stronger foe is almost hypnotic.  At least one is killed by the stab of a friendly lance due to pure confusion.  It’s over faster than I would have thought possible, severed limbs strewn across the room.  I’ve got some fluids splashed across my clothing.  Only one yet lives, and he is retreating.  She seems to be allowing it.

She follows behind, holding a lance.  The wounded and scared warrior scurries down the hallway towards his ship, looking back behind him as he goes.  She’s just… walking.  Calm.  And for some reason I’m following.  The last Gaunvan reaches the airlock and the second he enters his code she throws the lance - throws it! - and spears him.
“Come on, we’re stealing their ship.”  She says it like this is the most normal thing in the world.
“There are thousands more on board!  Thousands!  Almost all warrior caste!”
She smiles again, and keeps walking.  I see errors on the screens that we pass, messages indicating communications have been lost.  They can’t tell anyone what is happening here.  Even the communicators within the ship are on nodes rather than being wired, so the warriors at one end of the vessel won’t be able to coordinate with the other end.  Do they even know they’ve been boarded?
“How?”

We enter the bridge after she kills a handful of other guards with ease.  They’re too shocked by her presence to act in time.  Once the door are sealed and she is working on the control systems she starts talking to me again.
“Well, you know, we do like to be prepared.”
“But you… you ripped his arm off.”
“Yeah, that was super satisfying.”  She looks at me appraisingly.  "Oh, come on.  Is it really that surprising?  You knew we were into changing ourselves, right?  Being strong enough to pop an overgrown bug’s forelimb off isn’t rocket science.“
"Your people are so peaceful…”
“Oh, sure, most of them.  But we did that, too.  Tweaked ourselves over the years to decrease aggression and some of our tribalistic tendencies, increase empathy… all stuff that can be undone if needed.  Though for a good cause even the nicest of us can squish a bug or two.”
“You bond with Ry'ling devourers!”
“Those are the big fuzzy guys that look like cats, yeah?  Those guys are adorable!  But… look, liking some things that could kill us doesn’t mean we’ll sit back and get enslaved.  We didn’t put up with it well when we enslaved each other, and we certainly aren’t going to go for it now that we’re… finally… on the same page about slavery being unacceptable.  It was, uh, a longer time than we like to admit before the last hold-outs were convinced of that one.”

I can feel the ship un-dock.  We’re moving.  "What about all the warriors on board?  They’ll break through the doors eventually!“
"Not according to this control panel here.  Take a look.”
It says there’s no atmosphere in the rest of the ship.  Life signs are negative on all but two of the warriors, presumably the only ones that got to their suits in time.  She disabled all the safety measures, somehow.  She just killed… I check the life signs readout again to confirm the number… three thousand, six hundred, and fourteen soldiers.  Wait, how is it tracking that unless… “Are communications back up?”
“Yeah, I’m calling some friends.  The military is right around the corner, so to speak.”
“But Earth doesn’t have a standing military.”
She laughs.  Not just a little bit.  She’s actually doubled over for a moment, unable to catch her breath.  "Sweet Jeebus, you guys actually fell for that?  No standing military.  Have you read about us at all?“

Three ships appear seemingly out of nowhere, and one docks with the Gaunvan vessel.  Once the atmosphere is restored we head to the airlock to meet them, and I’m surprised by an entire platoon of Gaunvan warriors.  Speaking English.
"Okay boys, send your last goodbyes!  This is in all likelihood a one way mission.  Commander Thorn!  It is an honor to see you again, and might I say you look exquisite drenched in the blood of your enemies!”
She bows to him, blushing, and then salutes the Gaunvans.  Or… humans?  Can they change themselves this drastically?
“You’ve got two holed up in here somewhere.  Bridge is clear, have the techs bring the new brain on board.”
“New brain?”
She looks at me like she’s forgotten that I’m here, and then turns back to the others.  "Men, this is our new friend Ix Malasan who has just been liberated from his captivity.  He’s going to be helping with our intel.  Malasan, yeah, a new brain for the ship.  Once this vessel is cleaned up and back in service with a new crew we’ll be able to take it over whenever we want even if all of our boys get killed.  We cooked up a really sadistic AI for it.“
"But how do you know the protocols?  This was your first contact with the Gaunvans, they’ve never lost a ship anywhere near here!”
“No?  There wasn’t a mining colony disaster two years ago?”
“But that was just an accident… and you weren’t even involved in the war yet… and…”

The faux-Gaunvans have finished boarding.  The one that was talking to them before puts a bladed claw on ambassador - commander - Thorn’s shoulder.  "You coming with?“
"Naw.  Orders said I could only come if they allow ambassadors near extremely high value targets.  Malasan here says they don’t, so I need to wait for my next mission back on Earth.”
“It would have been nice having you with us, Thorn.  Well, maybe we’ll see each other again.  Suicide mission or not, I think I’ve decided to live through it.”
“Bold choice,” she says, and kisses him next to his lower mandibles.
He nods at me, then turns back to his men. “Okay everyone, we are now officially on the job.  And what is that job?”
In unison, they start chanting.

“FUCK! SHIT! UP!  FUCK! SHIT! UP!  FUCK! SHIT! UP!”

For a moment I nearly feel pity for the Gaunvans.  Nearly.  Commander Thorn leads me off of the ship, and I start thinking about what useful information I can provide the ‘harmless’ humans.  Fuck shit up, indeed.

rollingstone.com
Harry Styles: Singer Opens Up About Famous Flings, Honest New LP
One Direction's Harry Styles goes deep on love, family and his heartfelt new solo debut in our revealing feature.

January 2016. There’s a bench at the top of Primrose Hill, in London, that looks out over the skyline of the city. If you’d passed by it one winter night, you might have seen him sitting there. A lanky guy in a wool hat, overcoat and jogging pants, hands thrust deep into his pockets. Harry Styles had a lot on his mind. He had spent five years as the buoyant fan favorite in One Direction; now, an uncertain future stretched out in front of him. The band had announced an indefinite hiatus. The white noise of adulation was gone, replaced by the hushed sound of the city below.

The fame visited upon Harry Styles in his years with One D was a special kind of mania. With a self-effacing smile, a hint of darkness and the hair invariably described as “tousled,” he became a canvas onto which millions of fans pitched their hopes and dreams. Hell, when he pulled over to the side of the 101 freeway in L.A. and discreetly threw up, the spot became a fan shrine. It’s said the puke was even sold on eBay like pieces of the Berlin Wall. Paul McCartney has interviewed him. Then there was the unauthorized fan-fiction series featuring a punky, sexed-up version of “Harry Styles.” A billion readers followed his virtual exploits. (“Didn’t read it,” comments the nonfiction Styles, “but I hope he gets more than me.”)

But at the height of One D–mania, Styles took a step back. For many, 2016 was a year of lost musical heroes and a toxic new world order. For Styles, it was a search for a new identity that began on that bench overlooking London. What would a solo Harry Styles sound like? A plan came into focus. A song cycle about women and relationships. Ten songs. More of a rock sound. A bold single-color cover to match the working title: Pink. (He quotes the Clash’s Paul Simonon: “Pink is the only true rock & roll colour.”) Many of the details would change over the coming year – including the title, which would end up as Harry Styles – but one word stuck in his head.

Keep reading

... Somehow, Still Talking About This Captain America Shit (Now With Bonus Spider-Man and Agents of SHIELD)

So now Secret Empire has revealed its Shyamalan Twist and given the readers a Good Guy Steve Rogers as well as Hydra Cap, and the kinds of dickbags who, when this whole bullshit began were dismissing people’s complaints with “oh come on, don’t you know how comics works, it’s all going to be put back at the end, blah blah blah…” are crowing I-Told-You-So’s.

But here’s the thing:

Yeah, fucknuts.  We always knew this.

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A MESSAGE FROM AVI
Hello everyone. If you haven’t yet watched the video then these words might come as a shock to you. If you have watched, know that this is exactly what I would have said in the video, if filming it wasn’t one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to do. This morning, I announced that I will be taking a step back from PTX.
I’ve struggled with this decision a lot. It has been the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make in my life. Before I explain why, I want you all to know that the past 6 years have been the most unbelievable years of my life. The things we’ve accomplished, the places we’ve seen, the people we’ve touched with our music… It surpasses anything that I could have ever dreamed up for my life.
I believe one of the big reasons why we have been so successful and accomplished all that we have is because of the unbelievably fast pace that we keep. Throughout my journey with PTX, this pace has always been a struggle for me. It’s been hard for me not to be with my family and friends when I need them or when they need me. It’s been hard to not be able to escape into nature when I’m feeling overwhelmed or just need some time to myself.
Through all of this, I’ve done my best and I’ve kept pushing myself to keep up. Really, the reason why I’ve been able to push so hard and for so long has been because of you guys. You all have inspired me and lifted me up every single day and, for that, I am eternally grateful.
I do love you all so very much, but I’ve come to a point where I just can’t keep up anymore and I would never want to inhibit any type of success that we have because I truly do believe in everything that we’ve done and everything that they will do. I just know that I can no longer continue at this pace and so I have to do what’s best for the group and I have to do what’s best for me.
I do want you all to know that I’m still going to be doing music and I’m going to be doing it with my whole heart. I will ALWAYS do my best to lift others up with my voice. I hope that you’ll all support my decision and that you can understand where I’m coming from. And regardless of anything, I just want to thank you for all that you’ve given to me. I have been so unbelievably blessed and humbled to be a part of all your lives in any way and I wanted you to hear this from me. From my voice. And from my heart.
I love you all deeply and I thank you for everything. Truly.
And just so you know, I will still be performing at all of our announced shows, so come say hi and give me a hug. I love hugs.
Avi


I know the announcement is already going around tumblr but I thought I’d upload the video. Watching it made me realize how sad and sorry he is. And even though I’m upset about the news, I think I’m more worried about him. I’m seeing lots of support and love for him on the internet, and I hope he’ll see it. Hopefully his decision will allow him to take back control of his life, get some rest and focus on whatever he wants. Maybe he’ll finally ask Sara Bareilles out, who knows… I just want him to be happy. It’s going to be hard for the band and for us fans, but both Avi and Pentatonix will still be able to make good music and succeed; except now he’s going to be able to breathe and go at his own pace.
Also, give him a hug from me if you can! x

what's a fire and how does it - what's the word? - burn

so i have this disney playlist i listen to usually when i’m driving and i was blasting poor unfortunate souls this morning and i was thinking

what if ariel didn’t sign the scroll?

because she’s about to, okay, and she looks at the paper. the parchment made of seaweed, the ones that’s specially treated to survive underwater. and she thinks of her cave of treasures, her books that remain perfectly preserved underwater. “no thank you,” she says slowly, becoming keenly aware of air of this place, of the not-people she’d seen who hadn’t been able to pay the price for sea witch’s bargain. “i – no. thank you. but no.”

ursula tries to convince her otherwise, but ariel runs. she goes back to her cave, destroyed as it was by her father’s anger, and thinks.

she’s the daughter of triton. her books never got wet, though she lives in the ocean. she feels a pull inside her, to the land, to somewhere else, but what if – what if –

what if she doesn’t need the sea witch or her father to perform magic for her? what if she has her own?

ursula had wanted her voice because that’s how she performed her magic. singing in this cave had given it powers and protection, and when she saved her prince from the sea – she sang then too, to keep him safe, to guide him back to life and away from death.

so she has magic. she only needs to figure out how to use it.

so that’s what ariel does now. she’s quiet and keeps to herself, and her father and sisters think that it’s because she’s upset with her father, that she’s busy licking her wounds. she’s moved on from that. she has no trident, and is uninterested with fueling her magic with the souls of the damned like ursula has. so she needs to figure something else out.

she does what she’s not supposed to do, and goes where she’s not supposed to go, slipping past the guards and patrols to the one place in the sea that is forbidden to all of them.

the crevice in the earth where what remains of her grandmother lives.

ariel goes to amphitrite, and the sea goddess is so much bigger than ariel, the size of great whale as she curls at the bottom of the sea floor, too old and too tired to do anything more than sleep. “granddaughter,” the great being croaks, opening an eye as blue and as unfathomable as the sea, “you look like me.”

“they say i look like my mother,” she says, and to herself adds: that’s why father can barely stand to look at me.

“you have more of me in you than your mother,” she says, and she shifts and pulls her mass of red hair over her shoulder. “more of me in you than your father does, even.”

“i have magic,” she says, pulling her bravery to the fore as she swims closer to her grandmother, “i want you to teach me how to use it.” amphitrite pushes herself up, and it’s the first time she’s moved in a millennia, and ariel notices for the first time that her grandmother isn’t a mermaid – she has legs.

she has legs.

“you have power,” amphitrite corrects fiercely, “and i will teach you to wield it.”

and so she does. ariel spends her nights by her grandmother, learning to harness the power of the sea that runs in her veins, and sleeps her days away while her sisters and flounder and sebastian grow more and more concerned, but she refuses to tell them why. she refuses to be stopped.

but her heart still aches. she fell in love with her prince, and she wants him still. so she swims to the edge, goes to the beach where his castle resides in the dead of night when her lessons with her grandmother are complete, and sings

. she’s careful not to let any magic leak through, only her voice. she does not want to enchant him. she wants him to love her as she is. so she sings, her voice clear and powerful and cutting through the air. she hopes he can hear it.

then one day a figure walks to the beach, and it’s him, her prince. “hello?” he calls out, “are you out there? are you – please, it was you that saved me, wasn’t it? won’t you come out and let me see you?”

so she does, waves her tail at him until he catches sight of her and takes hesitant, disbelieving steps closer.

“you’re a mermaid,” he says, eyes wide, “i thought i saw – but it couldn’t be.”

“i am, and it can,” she says, heart beating wildly in her chest. he’s just as handsome as she remembered, and she wants him just as much. “my name is ariel.”

“ariel,” he repeats, and pulls off his boots and goes wading into the water, watching her to see if she flinches away from him. she doesn’t, and his strides grow bolder. “my name is eric.”

“eric,” she whispers, and when he’s close enough he touches her, trailing fingers across the bare skin of her shoulder and tangling them in her hair.

when he kisses her, she feels powerful enough to undo the world.

so there’s that now, spending her nights with her grandmother and her prince, and she knows how to make her own legs now, could walk onto land and be made a queen among the two legged men.

but she’s a princess here first, and before she can do that she needs to take care of something.

ursula.

the rotten sea witch with her rotten sea magic won’t be allowed to torment her people any longer.

she tells her grandmother, and amphitrite smiles and says, “an excellent decision, child. i’ve enjoyed our time together, but i think it’s time for me to sleep once more. i’ve taught you everything i can.”

and tears prick ariel’s eyes, but she holds them back. she knew that it couldn’t be forever, that her grandmother can’t die but no longer desires to live and this is the in-between.

“you’ll be an amazing queen,” amphitrite murmurs, and closes her eyes for a millennia more.

this isn’t something to be done in the dead of night, although it would be easier to do it then.

she will make a spectacle of it, she will remind the sea that her people are not to be trifled with.

once upon a time they feared a blue eyed, red haired sea queen with the power to destroy them all. it’s time for them to do so again.

so she drives ursula to the center of the city. her sisters cower and people hide, and her father comes rushing forward to save her.

“you’ve committed great crimes against my people,” she says, not flinching as lightning gathers in the sea witch’s hands, “so now shall a great crime be committed against you.”

“foolish girl,” the sea witch snarls.

triton is yelling. he won’t get there in time.

he doesn’t have to.

she doesn’t need to sing anymore. instead she lifts her hands and pulls ursula apart without ever touching her, not only renders flesh from bone but also sets free the souls she’s been hoarding, reverses the magic done to those who’d fallen into the sea witch’s trap.

they all stare at her, her people, her father, and her sisters. she looks to triton and says, “i’m not a little girl anymore.”

he opens his mouth, closes it again, then says, “i can see that.”

all at once everyone’s perceptions are turned sideways about their youngest princess. she commands a power that even her father doesn’t have access to, she’s not depressed and dreamy – she’s powerful young woman who knows exactly what she’s doing.

so she does what she wanted to do, she gives herself legs and steps onto the sand and launches herself into eric’s arms. she becomes his bride, and the rumors run rampant of what she is, of where she came from, but they can’t prove anything and so they rule.

they live long, happy lives. ariel is his consort, his advisor, his wife, his tactician, and his best friend. all those years reading drowned books have certainly paid off. she ages herself along with her husband, bears his children and then teaches them they ways of her – their – people.

her husband dies, and she disappears, like the stories of selkie women that everyone whispers around her. their children give their father a sea burial, and vow to see him again one day. what they know and none of their subjects do is this – their father’s body isn’t in that casket.

she returns to her ocean, her legs form into her glittering green tail, and she goes home. she uses her terribly powerful magic, and brings her husband with her. she went from princess ariel of the sea to queen ariel of the land, and now she’s back again.

she’s not quite a teenager, but neither is she the old woman she pretended to be on land. she’s returned her and her husband to the prime of their life, and as she gained legs to be with him, he now gives his up to be with her.

eric becomes a merman, and a prince by virtue of being ariel’s husband.

she returns to her family and her world without missing a beat, and they all welcome her as if she never left, treat her husband with kindness and respect.

because they all know.

it doesn’t matter that she’s the youngest. when, far in the future, triton’s reign ends –

ariel’s reign will begin.

Energy Tethers 101

Updated (again): 04.28.17

*this post is fueled by angst*

Okay, no, seriously though, it really does make me sad that so many people seemed to have no idea what I was talking about when it comes to connecting things for energy transfer.


So, what even is an energy tether?

I personally use the term “energy tether” to describe this type of energy work, but they could be called anything - energy cords, energy feeds, etc. Basically, it’s a metaphysical connection to allow a direct and continuous flow of energy from a source into a target. And I say target, because it doesn’t need to be an inanimate object - it’s possible to do this with yourself too.

That sounds a little convoluted, Richtor; can you break it down a bit more?

Yes, I know, I’m fancy with my words. You’re creating an energetic line between two things, one thing to be used as a battery, to allow energy to constantly flow from the battery into the second thing, keeping it charged / powered forever.

Are you serious?

Yes.

Why don’t we do this for everything in magic?

Honestly, I don’t know. If you’ve got an understanding of energy work and visualization, it really isn’t even that hard to create one. It can even be done with representational magic if you really wanna go that far, but it’s not that complex when you get down to it. 

I’m assuming it’s just a case of, people don’t think about it like that, or, it wasn’t as widespread a thing as I thought it was.

Can’t we just do this with passive charging, like how we charge things in moonlight?

Yes, but objects only hold a limited amount of energy before they become full; once you’ve used up the energy, you need to recharge it again. Creating an energy tether allows a constant flow of energy, so as it is being used up by your intent or goal, it just refills itself.

To me, passive charging is no guarantee that the energy will stick or be absorbed by the object, and that is also why I prefer things that require focusing on the energy yourself (direct channeling), or this method.

What *can* you use energy tethers for, anyway?

Basically anything you want to keep charged for extended periods of time. Optimal for sigils, any sort of charms - hell, you can even connect thoughtforms / servitors this way. But, seriously, anything you want to keep constantly charged with minimal effort, this is a way to do it.

What can you use for “batteries” or power sources?

Anything that produces an almost endless amount of energy. The sun is the first and most obvious one I think of. You can use anything else that produces a lot of energy, though. If you live near a dam, or those electricity windmills, those would work. Power lines and electric generators are awesome, and a great way to incorporate different feels of energy (and tech magic) into your practice. Space, even; like, the entire damn thing. If it produces energy, it can be tethered.

What do you mean about different feels of energy?

This isn’t specific to tethers - all things that have and produce energy have different “feels” to them. The sun is more hot and energetic than the moon, which is cool and calming. Rose quartz is a bit more gentle than, say, jasper, which is hot and fire-y. Tiger’s eye is more solid and stable than clear quartz, which is fluid and mold-able to almost any intent. 

We all experience feels of energy differently, however; these are just how I “energetically feel” those things.

(You also don’t need to “feel” anything to still do energy work, but that’s like a  whole ‘nother post.)

Can you tether to something that doesn’t have unlimited energy?

Sure, yeah, but you’ll drain it, and then it won’t be fulfilling its purpose anymore.

So, you could use yourself as a power source?

You could, but it’s super draining and I wouldn’t recommend it. That object would constantly be taking your energy away from you, and it could have bad consequences, including physical ones - physical exhaustion is a side effect that can occur when you use too much of your energy, and I see it happen often to people who are not careful about their energy expenditure.

However.

You can create switches for your tethers. As in, you can cinch them, close them off, to stop the flow of energy. Like you can turn on a pipe to get water flowing, then shut it off just as easily - you could create a “modification” for a tether similar in that manner.

Can these energy lines be broken?

Yep, absolutely. You can do it yourself if you no longer want them, someone else could do it if they could sense them, or they can naturally fade over time if you don’t give them proper upkeep and care.

Wait, upkeep? What happened to endless energy?

Yes, upkeep. You’re creating something to funnel energy, with energy. Energy needs to constantly be molded and kept in shape, or else it tends to just drift away. It really isn’t that hard to upkeep, though.

How do you keep your energy tethers safe from other people? 

Just program that into them when you make them.

Any disadvantages to using an energy tether?

It depends on how you view the term disadvantage. 

I think the thing that energy tethers lack is that bit of personalization that we often talk about being important in witchcraft. For example, you can keep a thoughtform powered by the sun, but it won’t contain your energy, won’t be as personally tied to you as if you charged it with your own energies. That can lose a lot of impact, when you really think about it, especially considering the nature of thoughtforms and the like.

Not to mention, you can overwhelm yourself with energy if you use a tether to connect yourself to an external source that produces more than your body can handle. You know how you can be overwhelmed by external energies, just by walking around? Yeah, now imagine that pumping straight into your body without a natural exit channel. Not fun.

Are there any other applications for energy tethers?

Fuck yeah. Use them to draw energy out of a target, in the form of a curse - literally sap their energies away so they have none left for their daily lives.

You can even connect yourself and another person with energy tethers, if you want to be able to share energy more freely and with more ease. (This is basically what I did with @ashesforeverashes​, in a sense.) 

Some people don’t like their energies taken without consent, though, and certain witchy protections can even prevent these sorts of tethers from forming in the first place, so keep that in mind.

Okay, all this talk about tethers, are you gonna show us how to make them?

Only if you ask nicely.

Please?

Okay that’s better. 

It is essentially just a combination of energy work, intent, and visualization.

The first thing you need to do, is have an object you want charged.

Now, pick an energy source. You don’t need to be able to see it, but it can help.

Relax yourself, clear your mind if you can. Hold onto your object in your hands. 

If you can, look at your energy source; this is clearly not applicable with the sun, so close your eyes and have your face turned toward it. If you can’t see your energy source, picture it in your mind as clearly as you can. Try to get a feel for its energy as well as you can, too. 

Once you are confident with your source, imagine a cord connecting from it and to your object you want to keep charged. A nice visualization for this would be seeing the particles form together out of thin air to form your tether - literally materializing out of nothing and attaching to the source, creating a line that is slowly building down from the source and to your object. This can be done in whatever way you wish - just make it.

Take as long as you need to allow the cord to be build from your energy source to the target - it can take some time, depending on the distance and how experienced you are with energy work.

While you are creating it, focus on any attributes you want it to have - a thick cord that is hard to break, a shimmery appearance so no other magic users can see it, etc. Keep in mind the purpose of the cord, what you want it to do, how you want it to behave, and fuse that into it as it is being formed. If you wish to incorporate a switch, in order to turn on and off the flow of energy, now would be the time to do so - more visualization and intent, and declarations of “I can halt this flow of energy whenever I desire” should do the trick.

Once the cord is in place, you want to draw energy from your source and into the object, through the tether. Make it clear that energy only flows one way through this particular tether. Continue to draw from the energy source and down into the target, until you begin to feel the energy flowing through the tether naturally. Once energy is accumulating into the object on its own, you know the tether is complete.

For the upkeep; about once a week or so, focus on the tether and visualize it still being strong, without any gaps for energy to sift through. See a smooth, clean flow of energy from your energy source and into the target. If there are any obstructions, break them down and funnel them out.

What was this “representational magic” method you mentioned?

Oh yeah. 

As a boost, you can have a representation of your energy source physically attached to the object or target, if you can. So, for example, you could have a tiny model of the sun, connected to the physical vessel for a thoughtform, by a piece of string. This can help keep the energy tether strengthened in a “physical” aspect, especially if you bind the physical to the energetic. Not to mention, just looking at it, you are reaffirmed that the tether is there and the object is charged, and that can assist with the upkeep.

Are there any “modifications” for energy tethers?

Totally. You can change the “material” you make the tether out of. Think of how people can put spikes onto personal shields, or make them have reflective surfaces - it’s sort of like that, but moreso changing the tether itself into something besides a beam of light. It can be a black cord like the ones electronics use; it can be made out of natural rope or hemp; it can be just a metal pipe that the energy slides through. Try to think about how each “material” might impact the flow and/or feel of energy.

You can also have one tether break off and charge many items at once - you don’t need a separate tether for each thing. Just focus on your tether and how it can fork, and imagine another branch coming from it naturally. Or, if you’re adding a separate line after the original tether has been “installed,” imagine a separate line growing or being molded from the first and down to the new object.


And there you have it - my post on energy tethers. Obviously this isn’t complete or all encompassing. This is just my view on these energetic cords, what they are, and how they can be made and used. I wrote this off the seat of my pants, but I think I covered everything I intended to. (And it feels hardcore like the old windvexer posts to me, which I’m not bothered by lol.)

I hope this helps you guys, or inspires you, or whatever. If you have any more questions, I… guess I can open my ask box, as long as y’all behave. Good luck, and have fun!

episode two :: Yuri realizes, suddenly and terribly, he might be a little bit in love.  


Victor doesn’t even try to go to sleep.  He just lays in bed with his laptop, watching the thirty-seven takes of Yuuri trying to get “hi, I’m Yuuri Katsuki, and I’m the Bachelor” out of his mouth.

Don’t they know who I am?” Yuuri slurs on screen.  

Yuuri, you have to put the champagne bottle down, you have to pretend to be sober,” Phichit says off camera, all authority gone from his voice.  He’s trying not to laugh.

Phichit,” Yuuri says, and he takes a big swig from the bottle, bubbles pouring down both sides of his lips. “You can’t tell me what to do.  I’m Yuuri Katsuki, and I’m the motherfucking Bachelor.

Keep reading

history of the entire world, i guess; a transcript

hi. you’re on a rock, floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it, actually most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you. how did this happen? a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why its been everywhere. it’s been so everywhere, you don’t need a “where”. you don’t even need a “when”. that’s how “every” it gets. (pause). forget this. i wanna be something, go somewhere, do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start. and that’s exactly where it started. (background noise) woah. i… paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing, in a place. don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet. it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees. (about no seconds later). great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three called a “proton” or a “neutron”. and there’s something else flying around too that wants to join in but can’t cause it’s still to (HOT). (about ten minutes later). great news! the protons and the neutrons are now happily married to each other (some of them even doubled up). (about 380,000 years later). great news, the electrons have now joined in. congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together. it’s a staaaar. new shit just got made. some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit. space dust! which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into even crazier space dust. so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example. holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks, and it kinda made a mess. which is now the moon. weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space. weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside them and now there’s Hot Steam in the sky. weather update: cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava. weather update: its raining. severe flooding alert: the entire world is now an ocean. volcano alert: that’s land. there’slifeintheocean. what? something’s alive in the ocean. oh cool, like a plant or an animal? no. a microscopic speck! it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup which is being served hot and fresh made from gnarly space ingredients leftover from when it was raining rocks or whatever. oh yeah, and it can do that. it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say. tired of living at the bottom of the ocean? now you can eat sunlight. using a revolutionary technique you can convert sunlight into food. taste the sun. side effect: now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky’s blue. then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while, maybe even a coupla times. it’s a sponge, it’s a plant, it’s a worm and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish. it’s the Cambrian explosion. “wow, that’s animals and stuff.” but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land? NoO. why? the sun is a deadly lazer. oh okay. not anymore there’s a blanket. now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land! “nope, can’t walk yet. and there’s no food yet so i don’t care.” (100 million years later) ok, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here? “maybe,” said some bugs, and fish. “uh. uh. uh.” (five million years later) “ok so i can go on land but i have to go back in the water to have babies.” (idea) learn to use an egg. “i was already doing that.” use a stronger egg, and put water in it, have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg, baby, in the water, in the egg. works for me. bye bye ocean. aaand now everything is huge. including bugs. wanna see a map of the land? sure. ah fuck, now everything’s dead. just kidding here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one because its about to become the dinosaurs. here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart, don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor. and the dinosaurs are gone. its mammal time! here come the mammals. look at those breasts. now they’re gonna dominate the world, and one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like ‘that’. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make… pointed rocks. “ouch.” and set things on fire. “yeouch.” and make crazy sounds with their voice (“gneurshk.”) which can mean different things. that’s a human person. and now they’re everywhere, almost. ice age. what? you can walk over here? cool. not anymore. i guess we’re stuck here now.

let’s review. there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food. fuck it, time to plant some grass. look at this, i control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food. this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this. tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground. better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping. guess what happens next. more food, and more people who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in, and people to make the houses. and now there’s more people and they invent things, which makes things better and more people come. and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people. and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power. sociiiety. coming soon to a dank river valley near you. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed. why is all my metal so lame and lumpy? tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing bronze, made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land. i don’t know, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what - egypt. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also, china. and did i mention indusrivervalleycivilization. norte chico. the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it’s in the middle of the east. knock knock- er, clop clop, it’s the people with the horses? and they made an empire! and then everyone else copied their horses. greeks! ah look, it must be the greeks, or a beta version of the greeks. let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization. they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china. new arrivals in india. maybe it’s thosehorsepeopleiwastalkingabout or theircousinsorsomething. and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff. you could make a religion out of this. there’s the bronze age collapse. now the phoenicians can get down to business. also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks. look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel. and they believe in god. just one though, he’s got like a ten step program. here’s some huge heads, must be the olmec. the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies. here comes the assyrian empire. nevermind it’s the babylonian- median- it’s the persian empire. “wow, that’s big.” ah, the buddha was just enlightened! who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this. oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking confucius was figuring out how to have good morals. ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff. and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea, he was…great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them. knock knock, it’s chandragupta, he says, “get the hell out of here, will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? ok thanks bye; time to conquer all of india- or most of india”. but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve got spices. who would like to buy the spices? “me,” said the arabians, swiftly buying them and selling them to the rest of the world. hey, china put itself back together again with good morals as their main philosophy. actually they have three main philosophies. out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city. let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload! “bye,” said the parthians, “bye,” said the jews. “hi,” said the parthians, taking over the entire place. “heyyyyyyyy,” said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland. “hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular, and then gets arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this. want silk? now you can buy it from china! they just made a brand new road to the world…or you can get there on water. “sick, new trade routes,” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast. hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom. there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again. “remember the persian empire? yup,” said the persians, making a new one. axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick. has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together. china is whole again…then it broke again. still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels. “hell yeah, now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves. “hi i live in the roman empire and i was wondering, is loving jesus legal yet?” “no” “actually ok sure,” said constantine, moving the capitol way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall. it’s the golden age of india. there’s the gupta empire. not chandragupta, just gupta, first name chandra, the first. guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. or actually, just half is just fine. but it’s not in rome anymore so let’s give it a new name. the mayans have figured out the staaars. oh, and here’s a huge city, population everyone. the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks. how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together. how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them. korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.

deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear, so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods, and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this. and maybe conquer the world as well. the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors. here’s all the wisdom, in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom, just in time for the islamic golden age. “let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast. remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now. wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere? the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise, you’re the new roman emperor,” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france. the northerners, or just norse if you don’t have that much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north, and they find some land. two types of land, and they name them accordingly. they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as vikings. there’s the rus, the kievan rus. are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. ok, fair enough. the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire, the holy roman empire. it’s actually germany but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms! christianizeallthekingdoms. which brand would you like? “mine’s better,” “mine’s better,” “mine’s better”. “time to conquer england,” said william. it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s the seljuk turks. “ahh!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small it almost doesn’t exist anymore, “we need help!” they need help, so they call the pope. “hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you wanna take back the holy land.” “yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.” crusade. they did many crusades, some of which almost didn’t fail, but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals. goodbye mayans. hello toltecs, goodbye toltecs, hello mississippi. look at those mounds. there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff. guess who’s here? khmer. where? here, and pagan is there, and vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government. china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis. i bet that will last a long time! some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india. is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time. i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold. look at this chad (means lake), there’s an empire there, right in the middle of africa. the king of mali is so rich he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said. the christians are doing a great job of conquering iberia which will soon be called spain and not spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you are still christian when you least expect. whoops, half of europe just died. ming. china’s back, yay. hey khmer, time to share, new kingdoms here and there. oh look who controls all the islands, its the mahajapit. majahapit, mapajahit, mahapajit, mapajahit, majapahit? oh, italy’s really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth. here’s a printer, lets make books. so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? “yep,” said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. whoops, you missed a spot; don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade. “what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless. well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india. “wait,” said christopher colombus, probably smoking crack, “if the world is round, lets go this way to india!” “nah, don’t worry we already got this,” said portugal. so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to go find india by going around back of the world?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.” “please?” “ok.” so he sails into the ocean, and discovers more ocean, and then discovers ‘the indies’ and ‘japan’. let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world. the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent. the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other. move over lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again. move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again. let’s make it the other kind of islam, the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy. hey christians, do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell. “that’s bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that’s a scam, fuck the church, here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation. “you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman, wearing an onion hat, “what if the ottoman empire was really big, which it is now.”  “what if russia was big,” said ivan, trying not to be terrible. portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade, and then that dream was real. and spain realised that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” question one: can you get to india through north america? no, but at least there’s beaver. question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question but the dutch did it anyway. sugar. guess where all the sugar’s made? in brazil. stolen! in the carribean, and it’s so goddamn profitable you might forget to not do slavery. the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger. britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world, more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did, it’s britain. guess who’s broke? also britain. so they start taxing the hell out of america.

“fuck you,” says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it. france helps them win, now france is broke. and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent. wait if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses? “let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off. you could make a reli- no don’t. haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?” wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back. luckily, they banished him to another island. there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin america wars of independence. britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains, and conquer india and maybe put some trains there. “hey china,” said britain, “buy stuff from us.” “nah, dude we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked actually, but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy-fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island. britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afganistan. also the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now, that’s just where he lives. india had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before. technology is about to go crazy. the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. “it’s bad,” they decided. and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land, and maybe kick out the mexicans too. “i know, let’s rape africa,” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia.  britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand. the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more. hawaii. cuba. wait spain controls cuba. “well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on them? let’s blame the maine on spain!” so they blame the maine on spain. now we’re in business. to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans. britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go. china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government. europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns. it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany. russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government. now everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism, in the soviet union. the arabs revolt, and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind. “let’s cut the cake,” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire. except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey. and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do. hello? yes, it’s the 1920s calling. let’s get in a car and drive to a party and listen to the jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy’s great and it’ll probably be great forever. just kidding. germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model. he’s mad at the jews for existing. japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it. hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all the jews is a bad idea, but he kills himself before they could explain it to him. that’s world war two. bonus round: pacific showdown, united states versus japan. fight! finish him. let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace. seems legit. “hi i’m gandhi and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india i’m going to starve myself in public. wow, that worked?” bonus: now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans. one of them can be bangladesh later. the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me”, they both said at the same time. “let’s divide up the land so everyone’s happy.” sike! they both get angrier. look out china, there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! “no thanks,” said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china. there’s the korean war, korea versus korea, nobody wins, then it’s on pause forever. let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. fight! wait no that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs. “i’ll race you to space. now let’s make some more countries fight themselves.” europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map, with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by. the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it. let’s check the world population. woah. okay. technology’s better too, that might keep happening. the soviet union decides to relax a little and accidentally falls apart. europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money; except britain because they don’t feel like it. let’s check the mail. surprise! it’s on the computer! whoops, someone just attacked america, i bet they’ll remember that. phone call, surprise, it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise, it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket. whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to. surprise, flying robots! with bombs. wanna print a brain? some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic. “let’s save the planet,” said everybody, not knowing how. “let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool. by the way, where the hell are we?

Aisles [M]

Aisle Two

Summary: Jungkook was your best friend. You held onto his secrets. And he knew all of yours. Except for one. One that would change your friendship forever. You were in love with him.

Pairing: Reader x Jungkook

Genre: bestfriend!au, college!au, angst, smut

Word Count: 6,772

Originally posted by sugutie

Aisle One Aisle Two

Your apartment was like a ghost town. The emptiness echoed every time you stepped foot in the sad space. His shoes were missing by the front door. Your keys were never on the side table. There was evidence that people lived there. Ramen packets in the trash. Used coffee cups on the sink. But no one had really been around for two weeks.

Two weeks. This was the longest you had gone without speaking to Hoseok, yet alone seeing him. The fight at Yoongi’s was the worst you ever had. His sharp tongue dug wounds that even stitches couldn’t heal. He had been keeping himself occupied at Yoongi’s or the dance studio. Your heart sank into your chest anytime you came home and heard the washing machine running, only to find that the person who was wearing them was nowhere to be found.

A small part of you enjoyed the quiet. You were able to spread all your materials out on the coffee table. Bags of chips and half empty iced lattes were littered in between stacks of highlighted notes. He wasn’t there to yell at you when you fell asleep face first on your microbiology homework, the lines of the pages leaving imprints on your cheeks.

You did miss him. The two of you had been friends for years. But this time it was not your turn to say sorry. If Hoseok wanted things to go back to normal, he would have to swallow his large amount of pride and apologize.

But you had never heard Hoseok apologize in his life. 

Keep reading

I know it’s all chaotic now because Sana’s love interest turned out not to be Muslim, and that’s a challenge to be honest. But I want to see things here from Yousef’s perspective.

Yousef Acar is a Muslim name, he’s more likely to be born into a Muslim family, but throughout his growing up, he just let go of the Islamic faith to adopt non-religious beliefs. So, everyone just assumes he’s a Muslim, until he points out the opposit. But, that doesn’t happen often. I mean, for a Norwegian person to say they’re not Muslim, it’s not something that would come off as unusual, but for someone from a Muslim culture to say they’re not Muslim, the reactions to that differ. I relate to this point so much. I was born in a Muslim country, into a Muslim family, where everyone just assumes I’m Muslim and if I say I’m not, it’s first taken for a joke. But, in fact, I’m not Muslim, but my family, my society, my name, everything says that I am. 

And to be very honest, you DO get judged for being an ex-Muslim (even though I don’t indentify as the such, ‘cause I never really willlingly belonged to the Islamic faith, I just was taught the religion and lived by its teachings); and that’s possibly why Yousef doesn’t tell people often that he’s not Muslim. I mean, Elias’ parents there think he’s Muslim and he didn’t justify his “drinking Vodka” by his not being a Muslim, but he used the “it’s for a friend” excuse. Because explaining that he’s not is bothersome. It’s not like a typical Norwegian (Even for example) saying the Vodka is theirs, in that situation, the mom wouldn’t even ask “Do you drink ?”, it’s different ‘cause they have prejudice, because your culture and heritage all point out to your being a Muslim, but nah, you’re not. People judge. Especially the elderly. I mean, i never got to tell my parents I’m not Muslim, and it’s not happening soon. (and let me note here that this could be an issue Yousef is going through with his family too, if, according to my theory, he’s an EX)

That’s why, I, same with Yousef, try to keep our beliefs to ourselves and just go in with the talk when people assume we’re Muslim, unless it gets pretty serious, or when I’m close enough with someone to trust them and know they’re open-minded enough. Now, when it comes to romantic relationships, I know how much of a big deal it is to a Muslim person who seeks a SERIOUS relationship to be with someone who is Muslim, that’s why I actually keep this info from my love interests, fearing it’d put them off. But, Yousef here actually told Sana even though he’s SO crushing on her. He was probably worried as fuck when he wrote those words to her, because he likes her and he’d love to be her partner, and he realizes that that info might drive her away from him, YET he told her. And that touched me to be honest. It spoke to me in levels, it was beautiful, that he valued her enough to tell her and throw the ball to her side now, as if telling her “here’s my puzzle, sort it out for I can’t do anything with it”, as if admitting to her the issue that they’ll face in a potential relation and asking from her to have an opinion on it, and that shows how much INTERESTED he is in her.

That’s my “theory”.

Tweeter and Skeeter.

This is long, be warned. I live in a lowish income neighborhood. My little section is pretty nice, but if you go a few blocks in any direction, it gets pretty shitty. That means I’ve had a few run ins with skeevy meth heads and small time thieves.

This started when I moved in to my house. I noticed that on trash pick-up days, people would go up and down the alley where the trash cans go and dig through looking for recyclables. One of them was a guy I called Old Bob.

Old Bob lived a few houses down. He said he collected to buy presents for his grandkids. I don’t think the kids liked pints of Dark Eyes vodka, but he was harmless. So I started bagging up my cans separately so Old Bob didn’t have to dig through my trash.

Then, there were Tweeter and Skeeter. They would roll up and down the alley in a junky old truck with no exhaust that belched blue smoke. They looked like the after pictures from Faces of Meth. After they saw in was bagging cans for Old Bob, they started grabbing them. This didn’t sit well with me.

The next time I saw Old Bob, I told him I would leave my stuff just inside my yard, up against my shed, where you couldn’t see the bag from the alley. This went on for a month. Then, I heard and smelled Tweeter and Skeeter rumbling down the alley. I didn’t think anything of it, then I heard the rattle of a bag of aluminum cans being thrown into the bed of a truck. Those fuckers had gone into my yard to grab Old Bob’s drinking money. That shit would not stand.

I went to the hardware store; I bought a cheap pair of locks and some latches. I put the latches on my trash cans, I would unlock them when I left for work, which was about 15 minutes before the trash truck came down the alley. I also gave Old Bob a key. By this time, we were becoming downright neighborly. I would chat with him and have him help me around the yard and throw any spare cash his way.

After a few weeks, I heard Tweeter and Skeeter again. I heard them stop, then rattle the can lids, then drive off. I came out the next morning and the fuckers had pried the latches off my cans, and stolen the locks, too.

Now I was pissed. They were stealing Old Bob’s drinking money, and they had fucked with my shit. I stopped keeping cans separate, and started dumping used cat litter over everything.

Tweeter and Skeeter would still roll up to my trash area, but they weren’t willing to dig through shit to get anything. Old Bob was still helping me around the yard, so I would hands him bags of cans when he was over, in addition to the extra cash.

Everything was quiet for a few months. Then, we had a bad storm and the gutters on the alley side of my shed got messed up. They were in OK shape, but the underlying board and gotten torn up. It was too late in the day to do anything, but I figured Old Bob and I could take care of it the next day.

That night, I was woken up by Tweeter and Skeeters damn truck. But before I could throw pants and shoes on and chase them off, they were gone. So were the gutters on my shed.

Needless to say, I was fucking livid. After I calmed down, I went to Home Depot to get a new gutter. As luck would have it, I heard the fucking meth-mobile start up in the parking lot as I was walking in.

I wasn’t about to confront them directly, since I like having all of my blood and internal organs on the inside. What in did do, though, was get a good look at their liscense plates.

They were expired (of course) but the layer of soot from burning oil had obscured the sticker. You wouldn’t notice it from more than 5 feet away.

Finally, I had a way to get back at them. I called a relative who knew a few of the local PD. They said the address on the last registration was a house that had since been burned down in a meth lab fire. They never caught the cooks, but they going to keep an eye out for the truck. If nothing else, they would get a ticket and have to put current plates with a real address on them.

I was OK with this, but I wanted blood. I got my wish when the city did heavy trash pick-up.

I put an old grill in my back yard and scratched “Not Trash”, on the underside, along with spraypainting the smokestack white. Sure enough, Tweeter and Skeeter saw it and couldn’t resist. Once they had done that, I spent a few hours on a Saturday driving around the shittier parts of my neighborhood until I spotted my grill sitting in a yard.

I called my buddy with the police contacts and told them where they could find Tweeter and Skeeter and their un-registered vehicle, along with a stolen grill.

A few hours later, Tweeter and Skeeter came home to a few cops waiting for them. Since scrapping from heavy trash pick-up had been good to them, they were caught with a not insignificant amount of Meth and a lot of precursors to make more.

Tweeter has to serve out a 5 year sentence in prison. He also pinned the lab fire on Skeeter, who will be serving 10 years along side him.

Old Bob still helps me out, too.