au where @danisnotonfire and @amazingphil get into a heated debate over grammar which ultimately results in them sharpie-ing their foreheads to prove a point and phil pulling the ol’ “english language and linguistics degree” card
so like. too much stuff has gone on tonight for my liking and while i wish to be a positive sunshine flower, i’m unfortunately a human being who is going through some rough times atm with tumblr - whether i wish to stay in it or not, whether people are willing to be patient or not w/ my slow reply speed, whether it’s all worth it in the end w/ how toxic tumblr is as a community and me just not feeling comfortable in it anymore. this isn’t a post announcing i’m leaving. it’s a post saying that i think i need a break from this website. i don’t feel like i’ve been here much, and since tumblr seems to be in a slow period now anyway and past rp partners are disappearing left and right, i think i’m putting my blogs on hiatus.
i’m not in a good place right now and being on here has provided more stress than it’s worth for a very, very long time. i thought i’d have fun here and tbh when i first began rping on tumblr, it really was. there was no drama, and i got along with people without issue. things have gotten so bumpy and confusing that … the fragility of my relationships here on tumblr, and how volatile they are, have made me question myself as a person and have really made me doubt my self-worth more times than once. i do base my self worth on acceptance. i do base it on the friends i have. i take rejection very, very, harshly, and it’s shown time and time again.
this is not a healthy way to be. but i feel that rejection here has become the norm, and given how tired i am with the glorification of lack of communication between rp partners and the daunting feeling/stigma that you can’t be real and emotionally open on your blogs has not made me feel mentally safe on this website. if anything, i feel that it’s bad for my mental health as it stands right now. i feel that, being a human being with responsibilities, mental illnesses, and insecurities, the rp community tends to shun or avoid people who have these. it’s always. you’re not replying fast enough. you haven’t replied to my thread yet so i assume you don’t want to rp with me and will unfollow ( and subsequently ignore all your other efforts to interact ). or people simply twisting my words and actions around to accuse me of some ridiculous falsehood to support why they want to avoid me. i’ve made the efforts to improve my communication with others, but this hasn’t seemed to bear the fruits i’ve wanted. in some instances, i feel like it’s made things worse. and i’m just. kind of tired of it? i’ve been trying to push past it little by little and it’s not working. i feel like lots of people i’ve called friends have left without a single word and never looked back. some people i’ve tried to worked things out with but they already made their decision before they even allowed me to speak, and ignored everything i had to say in the process. i think … that you can only take so much of it before you just want to call it quits. but i don’t think i want to. i just can’t be here atm.
tl;dr: i’m tired of tumblr community atm and need a break. my blogs will be on a short hiatus.
if you really wish to rp with me and are ok with doing it via discord, catch me at
kei nagay ( diarmuid, kei )#3027 idc who you are. add me, but let me know who you are if possible.
*whispers* Fox!William appearing to take back his brothers and discovers they have Human mates and kits.
AHHHH what if William is really defensive? He knows that kitsunes aren’t supposed to show their forms to humans, never mind mate with them! Armie and Tearley (Techie!) must’ve been coerced into mating and been forced to breed.
He follows his brother’s scents and find a door with a little cat flap on it…and his brother’s scent all over it. William enters, growling at the dark haired human who looks started. He holds two human pups in his arms, and Armitage emerges from another room with another two…but Armitage is in his human body…and William feels sick at the thought of what his brother must’ve been through. But Armie soon settles things with his big brother, don’t worry!!
My moods are fluctuating to a point that almost everything irritates me and it’s hard to concentrate.
Svan muse is completely dead, and she’s deader than usual that I can’t help but cry. So I’ll be withholding myself from writing until then. I apologize to everyone waiting and especially to the people that I worried. This is no ones fault, this is a combination of irl issues and my own mind telling me to give in and accept the bad. Because of these demons I left certain areas to prevent my depression from festering and ruining good times for others. No one deserves to face the brunt of a depression attack and I know this very well.
I will still be ingame, not sure if that means anything but I’ll be somewhere trying my best.
I may be dumb but englisch isn't my native language... I really don't get it why the song is called eraser and why he sings "keep erasing it now" for example. I got that he talks about drugs etc. but I don't know. Sorry for that!
Don’t worry, you’re not dumb! An eraser makes things disappear, right? So throughout the song, Ed talks about finding comfort in his “pain eraser,” which would be something that makes pain disappear. The part that goes “keep erasing it now, somehow” comes just after a comment about the world being filled with hate, so what Ed is saying here is to find some way to make the hate disappear… or possibly make the world disappear so the hate doesn’t affect you (I just realized that lyric’s actually a little ambiguous).
Something I find pretty interesting about Eraser is that when you listen to the extended version, it becomes pretty clear that he’s talking about drugs being a pain eraser, but when you listen to the album version, the pain eraser actually sounds like it could be referring to music, or performing, which of course we all know that Ed loves to do and could possibly be considered a pain eraser for him (despite the fact that the more he performs, the more famous he becomes, and he does say that fame is hell). If you read the lyrics of the album version with that in mind, the whole song means something completely different. I have no idea if this was intentional or not, but it works so well that I really want to believe it was. And it’s a perfect explanation for the inclusion of the “welcome to the new show” part, which might seem a bit unrelated otherwise. Anyway, I love that there’s this entirely alternative interpretation of the song and what the pain eraser is which still makes absolute sense within the context of Ed’s life. That’s some smart writing, right there. :)
Trying to figure out if you’re ace or aro can be so much harder than other
sexualities because it’s like, trying to find the absence of something. Imagine
you’re at a pond and you want to know if there are any turtles, or fish. Say
you find a turtle and you’re like “great! Now I know there are turtles.” Or a
fish, now you know for sure there are fish. Or you find both, and now you know
for a fact there are both turtles and fish in the pond.
But like, if you don’t find any turtles it might be that there are no
turtles or maybe you’re just really shitty at looking for turtles and maybe you
THINK you saw a turtle over there or maybe it was just a stick. Maybe there are
only a few turtles. Maybe you need to do something special to find the turtles. Maybe a bunch of these rocks are actually turtles but you couldn’t tell them apart.
Maybe there are no turtles. You have no idea. Meanwhile some people are saying “Oh
there have to be turtles! You’ll find them eventually ;)” or “How many turtles
have you found in your pond?” or “Try planting some vegetables at the shore to
attract the turtles.” Or “Oh no! What disaster happened to your pond that there
are no turtles?” And you’re just standing there wet with an empty net and a
But whatever because whether there are turtles or fish or not your pond’s
ecology works just fine without them because that’s what eco-communities do
they form a system around what they have. You aren’t missing anything if you
don’t have turtles you just have a pond system without turtles. If someone
tried to change you by pouring a bunch of turtles into your pond it would
probably fuck something up.
So you don’t have to be entirely sure. You don’t have to search every inch of the damn pond before you can decide there are probably no turtles. If you want to take the aro or ace label because you think it fits go for it. And if you do find your turtles you can rename the pond. That’s fine.