this is exactly what is happening right now

A Comment on Padparadscha

Originally posted by fishbelliez

On one hand, I really enjoy all the internet explorer memes about her because she’s precious and hilarious.


On the other hand, I feel like y’alls is really missing out on the potential here. 

Para doesn’t have future vision, she has hindsight, and from the looks of it, it takes an active effort for her to try to stay even a minute behind the present.

Garnet herself has stated that the difficulty with future vision is that there are an endless number of ways that the fates can go, and it’s a matter of probabilities to try to determine which one it’ll be. 

It’s not really the same with the past. The past has happened, events are set (especially given that this show’s version of ‘time travel’ is actually just jumping and/or creating timeline branches rather than traveling within the same stream). 

So what am I getting at?

Para may be more powerful than we’re giving credit for. With a clear view of the past, unconflicted by the branching probabilities of the future, how far back do you think she could see if she wasn’t trying so hard to stay in the present?

Who’s to say that Para isn’t exactly what the team needs? Especially with all the questions right now, where everybody is questioning what really happened 6000 years ago?

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 3

And we did it again, amigos! 

  1. “My sock is missing.”
  2. “I must say it can be rather therapeutic”
  3. “Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
  4. “You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
  5. “What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
  6. “I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
  7. “If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
  8. “What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
  9. “I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
  10. “I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
  11. “You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
  12. “I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
  13. “What is this, a concert for ants???”
  14. “I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
  15. “It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
  16. “When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
  17. “The wolves eat tonight.”
  18. “Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
  19. "When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
  20. “Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
  21. “Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
  22. “How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
  23. “I think I misplaced my right hand”
  24. “I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
  25. “Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
  26. “Have your eyes always been that colour?”
  27. “I’m going to fight the sun!”
  28. “You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
  29. “I’m not into that kinda thing.”
  30. “Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
  31. “I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
  32. “Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
  33. “Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
  34. “What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
  35. “What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
  36. “Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
  37. “Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
  38. “This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
  39. “Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
  40. “ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
  41. “Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
  42. “Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
  43. “Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
  44. “Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
  45. “Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
  46. “Wait. You’re aroused?”
  47. “Why would that surprise you?”
  48. “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  49. “okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
  50. “I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
  51. “I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
  52. "Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
  53. “how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
  54. “…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
  55. “For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
  56. “Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
  57. “Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
  58. “_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
  59. “What the heck happened while I was at the store?
  60. "What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
  61. “Despreate times call for cows.”
  62. “Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
  63. “You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
  64. “Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
  65. “Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
  66. “Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
  67. “Dude, no.”
  68. “I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
  69. “I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
  70. “I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
  71. “Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
  72. “So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
  73. “dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
  74. “Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
  75. “What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
  76. “WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
  77. “PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
  78. “PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
  79. “What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
  80. “Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
  81. “You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
  82. “Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
  83. “Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
  84. “So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
  85. “Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
  86. “Tell me why,  exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
  87. “Look, I’m not a liar, alright?  And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me.  So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now.  And maybe a million dollars.”
  88. “Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
  89. “Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
  90. “Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
  91. “Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
  92. “Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
  93. “This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
  94. “So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
  95. “I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
  96. “Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
  97. “Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
  98. “I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
  99. “Every time you speak I literally die a little”
  100. “One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”

“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)

The 8 Steps of a CHARACTER ARC

You know that moment as a writer, when you’ve been charging through the story, high on how fantastic it is, and then suddenly…it all STOPS.  The next scene doesn’t form in your head. You’ve got nothing. 

Behind your characters, a string of bright and captivating scenes mark the trail of that rocket of inspiration; ahead of your characters, a foggy expanse, stretching to who-knows-where, a few shapeless blobs that should be scenes floating in the nothingness. The rocket is dead, and not refueling any time soon.

Well, to everybody who’s suffered this, or is currently suffering it, there’s a way to navigate through that fog. A map. Directions and a destination.

Or, more specifically, events that form the underlying structure of the story. 

This post is going to focus on one facet of story structure: character arc. Structure is something people subconsciously recognize and expect, and if the story doesn’t match those expectations, they feel cheated (though usually can’t explain why). Every good story follows a structure. So if you know structure, you’ll always know where to go next, and won’t get lost in the fog. 

So here are the 8 steps of a character arc:

1) Hero: Strength, Weakness, and Need

This happens in the setup of the story, when the main character’s ordinary world is being introduced. First, the main character’s strengths must be displayed; we must be given a reason to like them, or if not exactly “like” them, empathize with them, and be fascinated by them. The reader needs to bond with the character, feel concerned about how it all turns out for them. Or in other words, feel that the main character is worth experiencing the story. There are easy traits that do this: courage, love, humor, being in danger, being unfairly treated, being highly skilled at something, having a powerful noble goal. (Courage is the one they all need. If the character doesn’t have the gumption to actively pursue what they want, they are automatically a background character.) 

After this, still in the beginning of your story, let the character exhibit what needs to change. Show their weaknesses of character and self awareness.
And lastly, hint at what they NEED to learn. Sometimes this is even stated to the character, and they don’t understand it, refuse to believe it, or condemn it. Like “A Christmas Carol”, when Scrooge’s nephew says his speech about Christmas and how wonderful it is, and Scrooge replies “Bah Humbug!" 

2) Desire: This is the moment when the character knows what they need to pursue, in order to obtain what they inwardly want. It is not the inciting incident or catalyst, the event in a story that disrupts the ordinary world and calls the hero on an adventure. This is a separate step entirely, occurring after that catalyst has shattered life as the main character knows it. They believe obtaining this goal will calm whatever inner turmoil or conflict they’re battling. And always, they’re not quite right.
Think of Mr Fredricksen: His goal is to get the house – a  symbolic representation of Ellie and the life he shared with her – to Paradise Falls, which he believes will heal his grief and guilt. It won’t. Once he obtains it, the achievement feels hollow. But I’m getting ahead of myself. So on we go! 

3) Plan: Once in Act Two, the character is going to scramble for a plan of action. The inner want has solidified into a tangible goal, but they need a strategy to achieve it. This also spells out for the reader what to expect in that second act.  

4) Conflict: What’s going to try stopping them? A hero with a goal is one thing, but to make it a story we need something that stands in the way. An obstacle. A force of opposition. If we didn’t have obstacles, books would be as interesting as "Harry Potter and the Trip to the Grocery Store.” (Although honestly, I’d probably read that.) After the catalyst has changed everything, after the character crosses the threshold into Act Two, everything from here on out will be laden with conflict. This is usually when enemies, or more accurately forces of opposition, begin to appear. Everything is accumulating to complicate the main character’s pathway to achieving what they want. The forces of opposition come from not only the villains, but from the actions that have to be taken to achieve the desire. Whatever this action is, it’s exactly what the main character is not suited to do, an action that pressures their flaws, exposes them to exactly what they need to become but can’t right now. 

Like Stitch being forced to be the family dog. He’s not suited to this task.

5) Battle: The forces of opposition are amping up, growing stronger, fighting with greater intensity. The main character is taking the punches and working around them, relentlessly plowing forward. Hero and allies are usually punching back too.

6) Midpoint: This is the event where they first encounter what they need to learn, what they need to become. Something happens that forces them to behave in this new, life-saving way. But once they’ve seen it, they don’t know what to do with this knowledge. 

7) Dark Night, Revelation, Choice:
This is always the darkest point in the story, where all seems lost, and death – of a literal or spiritual nature – is in the air. And in this moment, something usually happens that makes the main character wake up to what is wrong, and what they need. More often than not, this revelation will arrive from the “love story” or relationship of the plot, and will be the thing that helps them pull themselves out of despair and see the light. And once this is uncovered, once the revelation of the truth about themselves is recognized, they are faced with a choice. Of course, they’ve been faced with choices in every beat of every scene, but this is the big choice that is going to determine if their story has a happy ending or a tragic one. The choice is this: “You are being faced the truth that you need to heal. Are you going to choose what you need, let your old self die, and become someone better?” And always, always, always this is a hard choice. The revelation must be significant to them. And it’s never easy. It can’t be. We don’t write stories about heroes who make easy choices. Villains have it easy. Are you going to adopt this new way of living, adopt this truth, and let your old self die? Or are you going to stay the way you are (which feels safer and is much less challenging) but end up stuck in a sort of living death? Most of the time, of course, they choose the right thing. 

This moment is usually always the saddest scene in the thing. Like this scene with Stitch.

8) New Life: This is their changed life. After experiencing the trials of the story, after realizing what they need and choosing to be reborn, they are going to be different people – and are going to live a different life. This is what follows the statement “And every day after …” What has changed? Show the audience how things are different, how things are better, because they want to see that. This is the resolution, the wrapping up of everything we’ve been through with the main character, and having this in the story is often what gives that feeling of satisfaction after seeing a really well-told story. 

So! To show off how this works, I’ve chosen the character arc of Carl from Up. 

1) Hero: Strengths, Weakness, Need

Strengths: Reasons to like Carl are packed into that heartbreaking opening sequence. By the end of it, we love him, love Ellie, and are crying our eyes out.

Weaknesses: Now Carl is curmudgeonly, grumpy, cold, and won’t pay attention to a living soul. He’s also plagued by grief, regret, guilt, and loneliness. (Which we are all 100% okay with, because we already like him.)

Need: He needs Russel. The statement of what he needs to learn isn’t outright said (as it will be later) but Russel represents it. 

Step Two: The catalyst was when a truck knocked down Ellie’s mailbox, Carl hit a construction worker in the head with his cane, and for this a judge declares him a public menace and orders him to go to Shady Oaks Retirement Village. The DESIRE is this moment. 

Carl escapes in a flying house, thousands of balloons lifting him skyward. He even says the desire of the whole story out loud, “So long boys! I’ll send you a postcard from Paradise Falls!” The tangible goal is “live out the rest of his days in his and Ellie’s house, on the edge of Paradise Falls, South America.” (“It’s like America … but South.”)

Step Three: The plan and the conflict overlap, as they are wont to do. We have a scene where Carl is unfurling sails, setting a compass, and settling back in his chair for a smooth journey. But later on, after some conflict has arrived, we have Russel figuring out how to actually make it there. And after even more conflict has arrived, we have him telling Russel “We’re going to walk to the falls quickly and quietly, with no rap music or flash-dancing.”

Step Four: The moment he settles back into his armchair, high above the city, and here’s a knock on the front door, nothing is going to be easy for Carl. First, we have opposition in the form of Russel. Then we have a storm. Then the house lands miles away from the Falls, so they’ll have to walk it. Then we have Kevin, the giant bird. Then we have Dug. Which means they’re also being chased by a legion of talking dogs. Which brings us to Muntz, the main villain, and Carl’s shadow – the representation of Carl’s flaws, and the consequences of refusing to let go of the past. 

Step Five: This is the trek to the Falls. It’s also the battle with every complication that arises. And it’s also exactly what Carl is not suited to do. He’s a curmudgeonly old guy, bent on living out the rest of his life alone. Well, the story says “Nope, Carl, that’s not how it’s going to be” and promptly gives him a surrogate grandson to take care of, a dog who adores him, and even a giant mythical bird. And he has to lead them all, if he’s going to get to the Falls. 

Step Six: The moment when Russel invades Carl’s heart. Which is what he needs, but he doesn’t understand. (I have the scene beated out in the previous post.)

Step Seven: Finally, he gives in to the worst of himself and chooses his goal of living in his broken house on the edge of Paradise Falls. But somehow this doesn’t feel like victory. He’s still alone, next to Ellie’s empty chair, and she is still beyond his reach. 

He picks up her adventure book, and leafs through the photographs, missing her; he pauses on the page scrawled with the words “Stuff I’m Going To Do”, lets his hand rest on it, grief and regret overwhelming him. He begins to close the book, and the page shifts … revealing the edge of another picture. Surprised, he turns the page. It’s their wedding picture.

Ellie added picture after picture of their happy marriage, the whole wonderful life they shared, all the things she did. And on the bottom of the last page is her last message to him: “Thanks for the adventure! Now go have a new one! Love, Ellie.” Exactly what Carl needs. He doesn’t need to be guilty, he doesn’t need to regret the past. The past was beautiful, and she will never truly leave him. 

Choice: So, Carl can make the choice to throw everything out of the house to go save Russel. 

New Life: Sitting on a curb, eating ice cream with Russel.

In the credits, we see a whole new life – or new adventure – with Carl, Russel, Dug, and even a bunch of new puppies.

So, it’s actually pretty simple. And once again, it’s fun to develop your own stories like this, but it’s surprisingly fun to analyze movies and books with it too. It improves your storytelling ability, I’ve found. Practice makes perfect.

I hope this post helps somebody out. It’ll make the ten times I cried while writing it, while watching scenes from Up, worth it.

“W-T-actual-F” Tarot Spread

For when you’re fed up with a situation’s bullshit and unhelpful vague advice. Best results if you shuffle while screaming at any extraplanar influence involved in what the actual fuck you’re trying to reason to show up and fucking help or get their claws out of your life. Or anything you want the advice of.

  1. what the fuck
    Contributing factors from the past; part of what’s “wrong”; state or event
  2. WHAT THE FUCK
    What’s happening or what’s needed right now; what is just over the horizon; state or event
  3. What The Actual Fuck
    The root of what’s up, what all this is about; what’s at the end of the tunnel; concept or event either in the immanent future or Right The Fuck Now
  4. +  5.  Actually, though…
    Contributing or clarifying aspects of #3; components of the situation; ‘friendly advice’

Bonus: it looks kinda like a raised middle finger. Y’know. If you’re just that pissed at the whole mess.

Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!
→ nudes, not flowers | 02

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

☆ pairing → Hoseok x Reader x Jungkook

genre → smut, fuckboi!au

warnings → … voyeurism + exhibitionism, dom!junghope, power play?, dirty talk!!!, jealousy, demeaning names during sex, the threesome, & probably other warnings byE 

word count   → 10.4k 

You’re not supposed to fall for Jung Hoseok and his repertoire of awful pick-up lines—but you do. The problem is: he’s afraid of commitment, and bolts at the idea of settling down. After that, you decide to stay far away from fuckboys, but his friend decides to test your new found resolutions.

or : Jungkook wants to see how far he can push Hoseok until he snaps

  ↣  01 | 02 (final)

a/n; okay…so… this is just porn, but if you squint, there’s kind of a plot. you should probably start with pt 1 if you haven’t already!! 
+ shout out to the mutuals who encouraged the filth fest in this part esp @gxtsmxt @itsrainingmin !! we can have a prayer circle later to cleanse our souls
+ also tomorrow is my one month anniversary on tumblr :’)) thank you so much for all the love i’ve received this past month  ♡

Keep reading

MORE QUESTION SENTENCE STARTERS.

❛ Why are we doing this again? ❜
❛ Is this a bootycall? ❜
❛ Did you really just ask me that? ❜
❛ You don’t think I’m going, do you? ❜
❛ What happened between you and _____? ❜
❛ So, are you two dating? ❜
❛ You think you control my life now? ❜
❛ What did you do? ❜
❛ How far along are you now? ❜
❛ Was this your plan all along? ❜
❛ Why didn’t you just tell me? ❜
❛ Are you sure you’re not keeping any secrets? ❜
❛ Are you sure you’re telling me everything? ❜
❛ Why would you even begin to think that? ❜
❛ Did someone tell you that? ❜
❛ What’s the time again? ❜
❛ Are you ever going to come back? ❜
❛ Wait, what? Where did you hear that at? ❜
❛ Are you here to lie to me again? ❜
❛ Did you really think that? After all this time? ❜
❛ Why are you leaving me? ❜
❛ Why should I believe you? ❜
❛ Why don’t you understand? ❜
❛ Do you really think I’m going to trust you that easily? ❜
❛ You mean, you weren’t joking about that? ❜
❛ Is that really how you feel? ❜
❛ Do you remember anything, at all? ❜
❛ How could you go behind my back and do that? ❜
❛ You didn’t tell me about this? ❜
❛ So, is there any exciting news to hear? ❜
❛ You think I’m inclined to believe that? ❜
❛ How long do you think I will wait for that happen? ❜
❛ Why aren’t you laughing, was it not funny? ❜
❛ Why are you staring at me like that? ❜
❛ Are you okay? What the hell happened? ❜
❛ Did you go somewhere else without me again? ❜
❛ Is it you or is it me? ❜
❛ You think I owe you an apology? For what? ❜
❛ What did I ever do so wrong to you for you to hate me? ❜
❛ Why do you hate me so much? ❜
❛ What did I ever do to you? ❜
❛ Okay, where is all this coming from exactly? ❜
❛ Are you trying to break up with me right now? ❜
❛ Is this part where we kiss? ❜
❛ Are you trying to kiss me right now? ❜
❛ Are you going to let me by or not? ❜
❛ So, are you in or are you out? ❜
❛ Are we going to stand out here all night? ❜
❛ You didn’t even bother to tell me about this? ❜
❛ What else are you lying about? ❜
❛ Are you hiding something for me? ❜
❛ Did you even notice that I was gone? ❜
❛ What are you doing here? ❜
❛ You know you aren’t allowed in here, right? ❜
❛ Did you kill someone? ❜
❛ Are you sure you’re not hiding anything? ❜
❛ What, you think this is some kind of game? ❜
❛ What are you having doubts about? ❜
❛ You don’t think we’re wasting time? ❜
❛ Is that a threat or a promise? ❜
❛ Oh, so you don’t kiss and tell anymore? ❜
❛ What more do you want me to do? ❜
❛ What am I going to do without you? ❜
❛ How long have you known about this? ❜
❛ You’re not starting to like me are you? ❜
❛ Is this your way of saying sorry? ❜
❛ Who would buy that? ❜
❛ You know, I don’t want to see you, right? ❜
❛ Have you been drinking? Are you drunk? ❜
❛ How much have you had to drink tonight? ❜
❛ How’s that hangover from last night? ❜
❛ Long night, huh? ❜
❛ So, did I miss anything interesting? ❜
❛ What are you watching over there? ❜
❛ Who are you texting? ❜
❛ Who’s got you smiling? ❜
❛ You didn’t hear that? ❜
❛ Is this a date or? ❜
❛ Are you going to ignore me forever? ❜
❛ How long before your silent treatment breaks? ❜
❛ What can I do to make up for it? ❜
❛ Will you please just talk to him/her for me? ❜
❛ Are you here to apologize? ❜
❛ Do you ever stop talking? ❜
❛ Is that really still a thing these days? ❜
❛ Are you laughing at me or with me? ❜
❛ What was it like before she/he was here? ❜
❛ Do you remember me at all? ❜
❛ Are you in trouble? ❜
❛ You’re not in any kind of trouble, are you? ❜
❛ There was something you needed to tell me? ❜
❛ Are you insulting me right now? ❜
❛ Is that supposed to be some kind of an insult? ❜
❛ You do realize you’re wrong, right? ❜
❛ What’s so wrong with that? ❜
❛ Is that such a bad thing? ❜
❛ You’re not going to be sick again, are you? ❜
❛ You really the police? Why would you do that? ❜
❛ You really don’t trust me anymore? ❜
❛ Aren’t we friends?
❛ Why do you always lie to me? ❜
❛ Why is it so hard to face the truth? ❜
❛ Why is it so hard for you to tell the truth? ❜
❛ Where do you think youre going? ❜
❛ So that’s it then? You’re just going to walk out? ❜
❛ Don’t you believe me? ❜
❛ Do you love me? Do you even like me? ❜
❛ What’s stopping us from being together other than you? ❜
❛ How come it took you so long to answer? ❜
❛ Why are you ignoring me? ❜
❛ I thought we were friends, how could you do this? ❜
❛ Are you really wearing that? ❜
❛ You really think that will help? ❜
❛ Do you ever think about us? ❜
❛ Why are you standing on my porch in the middle of the night? ❜
❛ Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? ❜
❛ What did I say? ❜
❛ Why are you having such a hard time believing me? ❜
❛ What’s your excuse? ❜
❛ Did you think I wouldn’t find out? ❜
❛ How did you find this out? Who told you? ❜
❛ Are we really going to this stupid party? ❜
❛ Why are you always so sad? ❜
❛ Why do you care so little about everything? ❜
❛ What was it like? ❜
❛ Are you setting me up? ❜
❛ As long as you aren’t setting me up for failure, okay? ❜
❛ Do you believe in love? Do you believe in us? ❜

anonymous asked:

What's the huge thing about Victor in episode 8? TELL US, PLEASEEEE

lksjaklsj okAY SO,,,anon is talking about this post i made abt a day ago

and i’m lauhguhingh cuz i said specifically ‘victuri-related’ but ur like,,,,what’s the huge thing about vIcToR  and i feel personally called out by that, actually alskjaklsajaskl but you’re not wrong either. what i noticed happens to be very much about victor’s PoV, which in turn reflects heavily on his relationship with yuri at that point. so lesgo???? [starts playing celine dion]

so in ep. 8 yuri is the 3rd skater to perform. there’s the skate kees at the kees&cry, then he and my som are off to interviews&stuff:

[zooms in on vivic’s proud heart-eyes] mmmNOICE

moving on,,,yurio is next on the ice. there’s some teen angst going on,,,,i make a sandwich cuz i don’t care that much,,,then it’s jeans jack’s turn,,,,wrow he got some ego issues there,,,i monch on my sammich,,,,,,,,then THIS:

as you can see, Gay #1 and Gay #2 are watching the performance together. 

cut to more scenes of jeans on the ice,,,i dissociate,,,,,,,the performance fiNaLLy ends, there’s applause, then this:

now this part is important because you gotta wonder why yuri’s all “huh?” here. one could say that’s his reaction to the applause jeans is getting, but i don’t think that’s the case. there were lots of pressure on his back at times he did get affected by his competitors’ standings, but on this night, he’d already given a perfect performance, made his coach proud in his home country, got hugged and praised by said coach… it was just an overall chill, gay night okay. plus, this shot is weird. notice how victor is nowhere to be seen? he should be by yuri’s right side, but the shot looks purposefully cropped there. why would they choose to cut victor out and put some random guy behind yuri instead? seems to me there’s intention in making yuri appear alone. 

now the most important question, and the crux of this whole thing arises: when you’re responsible for the care of a dog and something happens, who do you call first? who do you think has a right to know what’s going on first, the dog’s owner, or your brother? yeah

so i think yuri, who’d been intently watching the tv, didn’t notice when victor got a phone call from japan. victor, polite as ever, walks away to answer. yuri only realizes he’s gone after the performance ends. 

next time we see yuri, he already has mari on the phone. she tells him what happened, and he’s pretty much in shock:

some more jeans jack,,,i roll my eyes so hard i see my childhood,,,,,,then…

look at victor’s face. yuri hasn’t even acknowledged him yet, and he looks petrified. he probably zoned the fuck out once he got off the phone, then just zombie-walked until he found yuri, the only face he can recognize right now. the only thing attaching him to reality.

yuri doesn’t even bother explaining the situation, because as soon as he looks at his face, he knows victor knows. 

now the most important screencap of this Entire Thread actually scratch that, imma make a gif cuz this Warrants it,,,,,just a sec [elevator music]

now,,,,,,the most important gif of this Entire Thread:

victor. is. shookt.

we always discuss how much trust yuri has for victor, how he perceives their relationship & his insecurities about it, but what about victor’s? don’t you think this softé, gentlé boy who’s been so starved of real connections and affection for decades isn’t uncertain either? that he’s not scared? that he doesn’t ask himself how exactly yuri feels about him - whether he’d still want him around if they weren’t coach/student? for all victor knows at this point, yuri just up and left after the banquet. no calls, no postcards, no nothing. then there was the video, and his first weeks in japan, and yuri unknowingly acting like nothing had happened, which sent him all kinds of mixed signals. they got closer, and closer, then china happened. 

this, right here, is probably the most delicate stage of their relationship - the moment they’re working out exactly what this is and where they stand with each other and where do they go from here, and i’m pretty sure victor has been terrified. he’s been terrified because it’s real now, the kiss made it real, he actually has this and he doesn’t want to lose it. yuri is literally victor’s safe haven - the first person he feels deeply connected to, the guy he quite literally wants to spend the rest of his life with, and he’s desperate to know if yuri wants the same, if what he feels for victor goes way beyond professional admiration and gratitude.

and this, right here, confirms it.

the guy who puts their professional relationship and the fucking grand prix series aside and tells victor to haul ass to japan to be with his sick dog isn’t so much victor’s student as he’s victor’s boyfriend. he’s the guy who loves victor regardless of what victor can do for him and his career. and now, more than ever, victor knows that.

anonymous asked:

Clarke has grown to think of Bellamy as a brother, nothing more. That's apparent right now. Who knows what will happen in s5? And although Eliza may be against it now... that too may change going into another season.

Apparent to whom, exactly?

Was she thinking of him as a brother when he had his arm on her shoulder and his body right next to hers, speaking into her ear?

Was she thinking of him like a brother when they were flirting on Unity Day?

Was she thinking of him as a brother when she buried her head in his shoulder every damn time they hugged?

I mean, really? Does any of that look like something you’d see a sister do with her brother? Even the lengths of the hugs themselves say that she doesn’t think of him like a brother. Because they go on for. fucking. ever. Watch those scenes again. When’s the last time you’ve hugged your brother or seen someone hug their brother for that long? Pulling them closer all the while?

And, really, what is the basis for the “Clarke thinks of Bellamy like a brother” / ”Bellarke thinks of each other in a platonic way only” line of thinking anyway?

It can’t be that they never show physical affection to the other, because they do that all. the. damn. time. 

It can’t be that neither have said the words, because while they haven’t said the elusive “I love you”, they’ve spelled it out in countless other ways. And on Clarke’s end (because that’s the basis of this ask), Clarke has only said the words to her previous partners when they’re on their death bed or literally on the other side. And yet people had no trouble believing Clarke was in love with Finn or Lexa.

It can’t be that they haven’t had any romantic moments, because they have. They’ve just been extremely subtle, given that their relationship has also been subtle.

Because, here’s the thing: the show has been paralleling Bellarke to the canon romances of the show from the very beginning.

Clarke comforting Finn after he kills a reaper?

Looks pretty damn similar to Bellamy reaching for Clarke after torturing Lincoln to save Finn.

Clarke running to and then hugging Finn when she finds out he’s not dead?

Looks nearly identical to Clarke running to and then hugging Bellamy when she finds out he’s not dead.

Abby comforting Kane after the City of Light is destroyed when he’s distraught over everything he did?

Looks similar to Clarke comforting Bellamy when he’s distraught over everything that he helped cause in Arkadia.

Abby kissing Kane’s cheek?

Looks similar to Clarke kissing Bellamy’s cheek.

Lincoln caressing Octavia’s face?

Looks a lot like Bellamy caressing Clarke’s face.

Octavia cleaning Lincoln’s wound and holding his hand?

Looks very similar to Clarke looking at Bellamy’s wound and holding his hand.

Hell, the entire Bellarke goodbye in 2.16 is a giant ass parallel to the Linctavia goodbye in 1.10.

Clarke wrapping Lexa’s hand?

Is shot in the exact same way as Bellamy wrapping Clarke’s.

Clarke showing worry when Roan has a spear pointed directly at Lexa’s heart?

Is shot in nearly the exact same way as Clarke showing worry when Roan has a sword pointed directly at Bellamy’s throat.

(And these aren’t even all of the examples–not by a long shot!)

So, here’s my point: if the Clexa scenes, and the Kabby scenes, and the Flarke scenes, and the Linctavia scenes are meant to be read as romantic, why wouldn’t the very nearly identical Bellarke scenes be meant to read as romantic or on-the-verge-of-romantic or definitely-more-than-just-friendship?

Because they haven’t banged yet? That would make 98% of the Clexa scenes not romantic and ~70% of the Kabby scenes not romantic.

Because they haven’t declared their love? That would make all but one of the Clexa scenes and Flarke scenes not romantic, all of the Kabby scenes not romantic, and nearly every single Linctavia scene would not be romantic!

Who knows what will happen in season 5? Hell, who knows what will happen in the second half of season 4! Bellamy and Clarke are very quickly verging on the path toward romance.

And, as for Eliza, she most definitely isn’t against Bellarke. Yes, I’m sure she’s a bit sick of the media (and a portion of the Bellarke fanbase) being so Bellarke focused and not focusing on the current storylines.

The way Eliza has handled Bellarke has been exactly as expected for a storyline that hasn’t quite broken. She has been completely supportive of the relationship as it stands on the screen right now: two people who are each other’s rocks, who center each other and support each other and care very deeply about each other.

Of course she isn’t shouting from rooftops about Bellarke! Actors only do that for two reasons: it’s the ship currently happening (like how Ricky was all during Linctavia, or how Paige and Ian have been with Kabby and how Chris has been with Marper…and how Eliza and Thomas were all during Flarke and how Eliza and Alycia were all during Clexa and how Eliza still is while Clarke is still in mourning) or when it’s never gonna happen and they’re trolling (like Bob and Richard have done for Murphamy). It is the actors’ job to promote the show and the story being told, but they’re also allowed to have fun and joke around with things they know won’t give away future storylines.

The second the episode drops where there is 100% Confirmed Facebook-Official Bellarke Romance™ you bet your ass you’ll see Eliza (and Bob) be completely on board.

(Like I legit can’t tell if you’re a Bellarke shipper who honestly believes Clarke thinks of him like a sibling but think maybe in S5 that’ll change, or if you’re anti-Bellarke but acknowledge that the show might go there but hasn’t gone there yet…either way, sorry for this long ass rant. I had feelings.)

8

“My generation, who I am so honored to stand representing now, know exactly what is going on despite what many adults tell us. We know what’s happening because it’s happening to us too. We are so actively engaged in these conversations surrounding intersectionality and what freedom actually means that we are willing to risk our lives for it. It is a time so vulnerable that you see the world in two very honest ways, human rights or the lack there of… “ Fifteen year old activist Rowan Blanchard gives a self written speech on behalf of her generation during the Women’s March in Los Angeles. 

vld cast as monsters

WHY DO I DO THESE????!!!

  • So Keith’s a witch 
    • “Not a warlock, you dumbass, a witch. I don’t need entrails to actually do things, read a book for fucks sake.”
    • In case you didn’t notice, he gets all miffed about the comparison 
  • Allura’s a sorceress
    • The main difference is Keith basically needs a spell book (Lance calls it his cookbook, since he never really ‘casts’ things, just bakes potions) 
    • Allura doesn’t need a book, but she does have to say enchantments
  • Shiro’s a zombie
    • His family adopted Keith
    • Then a few years later he died
    • Keith went all witchy tying to get him back.
      • Obviously, Mr. and Mrs. Shirogane flipped but, eh, they got their son back so no biggie
    • TBH tho Shiro’s lost his arm so many time’s now that Keith’s given up on sewing a new one on him and just got him a prosthetic
  • Hunks a werewolf, comes from big family of them
  • Shay and her brother are were’s, too, but they were Turned, not born
    • Hunk’s family (nobles) don’t give a crap about all that
    • So they took Rax and Shay in when they could
  • Coran’s a seer
    • He’s prophetic and can actually tell what’s going on past all the illusions and glamour thrown around
    • Save for that, Coran’s normal
    • He met Alfor a little after Allura’s mom died and they kind of hit it off
      • He’s pretty much her second dad
  • Lance is mer
    • No, they don’t have tails 
      • they evolved from that eons ago, duh
      • They just control water and have gills, so they move the currents underwater to swim
    • His family lives by the beach near campus so everyone visits often
      • It’s funny cause Allura and Lance’s twin often try and see who can bewitch more people during parties
        • It’s crazy and Coran nearly dies every time
  • Matt’s a ghost
    • He didn’t die, he’s just in a coma, has been in one for a year or so now
    • He hangs out everyone since…
    • …Well…
    • …Let’s just say Keith done fucked up 
    • So now Matt’s tied to the college campus!
    • And he can’t leave whatsoever!
    • Great, huh?
      • “Keith, what the fuCK?!!!”
  • Speaking of college, everyone’s in the same fraternity … sorority … thing ..
    • Well, there’s no gender separation 
    • So it’s just everyone in the same building 
      • As they try not to kill each other and
        • Or blow up the entire campus
  • So one of the most annoying things they all have to deal with is Pidge
  • Kinda
    • So, Pidge is human and doesn’t know about the supernatural
      • Obviously
    • But because Pidge is mortal, they can’t find out about, well, everything
    • But they kinda did?
    • Oops
  • Anyways, it all started when Hunk and Lance brought Pidge home for a project
    • And Matt flipped his shit
      • “…Huh, now that you mention it, she does kind of look like you.”
    • So of course now everything is awkward
    • Hunk is all careful around Pidge, never really talking about his dorm and shit
    • Lance honestly didn’t change cause he’s an awesome liar 
      • Siblings + blackmail = a 100% guarantee he won’t spill the beans 
      • But Pidge will just suddenly look at him, all judgmental and stuff and he’s just like
      • Sweating bullets, like, what the fUCk Hunk how do you deal with this??
      • “I’m feeling something?? is this guilt??? why do I feel guilt?!?!?!”
    • Then there’s Allura and Shiro, who happen to be in a poly relationship with Matt as of second semester
    • One time Shiro almost spills the beans
      • “Honestly, your nothing like your broth - brochure! ….You’re nothing like your brochure?”
      • “…Thank you?”
      • *Allura screaming in the bg*
    • Eventually they all get over it and Pidge is allowed back in the dorm
      • Cause, ya know, they kicked them out for a bit
        • “This place is awesome! How do you apply?”
        • “………. Uh, I don’t really know, Hunk, uh … Lance?”
        • “Ya know, Hunk’d know more about it. He’s the one that got Shay and Rax in.”
        • “What?! I … RAX! Come explain?”
        • “…..fuck.”
    • And now Pidge just frequents the place
    • Sure, there’s weird things going on every other second
      • Like that one closet that Keith won’t let anyone into
      • Or when Shay and Rax get all crabby at random times of the month
      • Or like people including non existent entities in on conversations
      • Or perhaps those moments when random things start to move 
      • “… Why did that mug just … ??? … you know what? Fuck it. Hunk! Come here, I wanna blow shit up!”
    • Everyone manages to keep them in the dark for a whole six months
    • It’s a big project, just keeping Pidge from figuring things out
      • The main problem is because they’re fucking smart and don’t believe in coincidences
        • “No, Pidge, that glass didn’t move. Are you feeling okay?”
        • “No, Pidge, you didn’t just see Allura jump from the second story down without breaking a leg.”
        • “No, Pidge, Keith just really likes his book. Okay. He really likes his book.”
          • “…Is it some kinda kink?”
          • “…Sure. Yeah, let’s go with that.”
            • “Lance, why the fuck does Pidge think I have a fucking book kink?!!”
    • Allura casts a few masking spells and Keith manages to brew a few sealing potions for certain … areas of the dorm
      • But Pidge is sneaky
      • Not to mention immune to Wolfsbane
        • “What the literal fUCK?”
        • “Come on, it can’t be that bad.”
          • Te-he, it’s that bad
            • “Wolfsbane is the basis of all things, the foundation, the - the - the … the flour in cookies!! You can’t just leave the flour out of cookies!!”
            • “…You can still make cookies without flour.”
            • “But they’ll be fucking terrible cookies!”
    • Lance smooth talks them out of a few things, too
    • Turns up the charm and Mer’s his way outta things
      • At least, he tries to
      • But Pidge is ace
      • They don’t feel sexual attraction
        • “I can’t do anything! My voice doesn’t work, my charms don’t work, hell, I could flash them and they wouldn’t react.”
        • “Oh trust me, they’d react.”
    • And now Shay and Rax have to come up with stories about all their pills
    • Hunk, the lovable jerk, doesn’t need pills
      • But he does need to explain how he can grow a full on beard in two days
        • “…Blame my mom?”
    • Coran stops doing his freaky glowing eyes thing 
      • Well, he tries
      • He has a few … episodes when Pidge is around and boy
      • Those were fun to cover up
      • Turns out Pidge now thinks Coran’s big into theater and bright blue contacts
    • Even Shiro takes a few precautions
      • He re-sews his stitches nightly so they don’t fly off in the middle of Taco Tuesday
      • He drinks those disgusting potions Keith makes
        • “They keep your body healthy!”
        • “They taste like butt, Keith, like butt.”
      • He spritiz himself in perfume after Pidge notes that he “kinda smells like the earth
        • “Pfft! Smells like the earth? Yeah, that’s eau de coffin.”
        • “Matt, shut up.”
  • In the end, it’s actually Keith who finally spills their secret
    • You see … he and Lance were kind of making out
    • And Mer’s kinda … sorta … glow when they release endorphins
    • So Pidge walks into the living room unannounced and there’s Lance just
    • Sitting there
    • Glowing like a fucking angler fish
  • Covers blown just like that
  • They actually take it really well
    • “… So Lance is a mermaid?”
    • “Kinda.”
    • “And Allura’s a sorceress who’s over ten thousand years old?”
    • “Sort of.”
    • “And Shiro’s dead?”
    • “Oh definitely.”
    • “…Okay.”
  • So, yeah, Pidge now knows what’s going on around the house
  • And after a few quick spells, courtesy of Allura, they can see all the ~magic~ (rainbow, shiny, sparkly) they couldn’t before
    • That also means they can now see the fact that Keith has freaky ass veins after he brews a few potions
    • He can also see Lance’s gills
    • Oh, and the fact that Allura’s hair is fucking silver
      • “Holy shIT! ow the hell did I miss this?!!!”
        • “Uh, hello, Pidge, it’s me, Matt, you haven’t seen me in a year.”
  • But, of course, since Pidge knows now….
    • Hehehe
    • Oh boy
    • Buckle up, everyone
  • First come the questions
  • Everyone, and I mean everyone, had an hour long interrogation interview on how the hell they got away with all this shit
    • It involves lots of secrets, the occasional assassination, and  ~magic~ (rainbow, shiny, sparkly)
  • After that, Pidge pulled Shiro aside and had him explain how the fuck he’s alive
      • “So Keith … dug you up and force fed you a radioactive cockroach?”
  • Then comes Lance’s weird ass explanation of his powers
    • “Let’s see, I can make myself seem beautiful, though I already am~~~, I can breathe underwater, I can force involuntary drownings-”
    • “WHAT?!”
    • “-I can pitch my voice up to a C9, which is awesome cause it’s not even on the keyboard, and …. oh! And I can make people fall in love with me! That one’s fun.”
      • Which then, of course, leads to the awkward explanation of how he and Keith got together
        • “So, let me get this straight, you had a crush on him and he had a crush on you.”
        • “Yup.”
        • “But neither of you knew so Keith gave you a love potion, which then spurred you into pulling your charms and forcing him to fall in love with you.”
        • “Uh-huh.”
        • “And then he thought you didn’t like him so he voodoo’d you both?”
        • “Yup.”
        • “And now you’re technically soulmates with bound hearts?”
        • “Yeah … is that weird?”
        • “No, no, it’s perfectly normal - of course it’s weird, good god what the literal fuCK Keith?!”
  • They question Hunk next
    • The most they manage to get out of him as to how he does what he does it magic (~rainbow, shiny, sparkly~)
    • Shay and Rax don’t fair well, either
      • “I think I’d be more concerned about turning into an over glorified Chihuahua rather than exactly how it happens.”
      • “Speak for yourself. I always thought of myself as a Shih Tzu.”
  • Pidge tried with Allura but she dove right into runes and spells and they just zoned her out after fifteen minutes
  • Keith didn’t fair well either
    • “Why are you purple again?”
    • “…It’s an after effect.”
  • All in all:
    • Everyone is crazy
    • Allura and Lance blow up half of campus trying to make magical lush products
      • “Too much bomb, not enough bath.”
      • “Shut UP, Lance.”
    • Keith raised the dead
    • Again
    • Hunk accidentally runs around campus as both a wolf and a very, very naked man in the same night
      • Pidge was chasing after him with a net
    • Shay and Rax convince everyone to play spin the bottle and it ends with Keith and Lance actively making out in the corner while Shiro strips
    • Matt has managed to accidentally get kids ‘expelled’ ten different times due to his inadvertent need to poltergeist
    • Coran sees the future twice in one day and each time it included chicken nuggets, a thong, and one of Shiro’s detached limbs
    • They nearly destroy the world five times and save it once
    • That involved ketchup, a fourth wall break, and a klance fanfic written by Shay and Pidge

so if anyone at the panel is on tumblr right now, what exactly is happening? from what ive put together from all the posts:

  • pearl gives herself up to homeworld
  • theres a new gem named emerald
  • lars steals a ship
  • lapis is not interested on fighting the diamonds (who are attacking them)
  • rainbow quartz 2.0 is confirmed
  • the diamonds are attacking earth
  • theres a flashback scene with white diamond
  • lars and sadie confirmed as a couple

so what exactly is happening just as confirmation?

How the first episode of the Defenders should go:
  • *Luke is let out of prison*
  • Luke: Thanks you guys, it's good to be free again-who the hell are you two?
  • *points at Matt and Danny*
  • Jessica: Don't look at me, I don't know either. All I know is that Claire needs our help.
  • Claire: Okay, Luke, Jessica, this might sound strange but we have a situation on our hands.
  • Luke: Claire...please. I'm a walking bulletproof man.
  • Jessica: And I took down a man with mind control powers.
  • Luke: Exactly. You'd have to really TRY in order to weird us out anymore.
  • Claire: Okay, in that case, I'm gonna let Matt and Danny explain what's happening.
  • *Matt and Danny step up*
  • Matt: The city is under attack from an ancient, Japanese cult of ninja called "The Hand".
  • Danny: Right now, they're trying to harness the power of the "Black Sky" from a woman named Elektra Natchios, who was killed but later resurrected through a blood ritual involving some weird, ancient pod.
  • Matt: Also, Elektra's my ex-girlfriend. And she's part of an ancient organization called "The Chaste", who are the Hand's nemesis.
  • Danny: Oh, and did I mention that I was raised in a mythical city by monks and I can charge my fist with mystical chi energy?
  • Matt: And I'm blind but my senses have been heightened to the point that I don't need sight. Oh yeah, and I'm Daredevil aka the Devil of Hell's Kitchen. Are you with us so far?
  • Luke: ...
  • Jessica: ...I need a drink.
  • Luke: Same.
Paper Hearts (Part 14)

Originally posted by tbhobi

Genre: Angst/fluff

♡ Pairing: Reader x Jungkook // Reader x Jimin

♡ Length: 5.1k

♡ Summary: It has been nearly a year since you started writing anonymous letters to Jungkook, giving him words of encouragement behind the thin mask of a paper. He never considered you as a possible suspect behind these letters, because you were nothing more than a best friend. And you couldn’t put all the blame on him either, after all, you were too afraid to confess in fear of tarnishing your precious friendship.

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Sana has her ammunition, she could easily destroy Sara at any moment. She has Noora’s password too, she could easily spread all of those nasty messages from her email and let her take the fall. I don’t think she will, because she’s been there, she’s made that mistake. This is what I want to happen now. I want her faith to be what changes her mind, I want her faith to be what helps see her through this. Not Eva, or Chris, or Isak, or anyone else. I want Islam to be what guides her, to be what helps her make the right choices. It’s what we need to see. We need to see exactly how Sana’s faith is a positive thing that can influence her life for the better, not be continuously reminded of the ways in which it causes her to feel anguish or isolation.