this is exactly what i look like when i bowl

Craiglist (or whatever similar site) Masterpost

I finally found this really informative post, been searching this for weeks. This is from an awesome longtime SB with really great advice posts @itsnecolbitch, whom already deactivated her account few months ago. Enjoy!!


Are you ready to give craigslist a try? Here are some ads that I have used in the past that worked for me. Pick any of them to choose from.

1. Undeniable Moments- (Insert City Here)


Would you like for me to spice up your night? Lets go out to dinner and lets have a great time. I have went on a few dates but I felt not only something was missing but also my time being wasted. Have you ever felt that way before? Would you like to meet a woman who is exciting and that you hit it off with mutually?

I would like to be spoiled.

2. It’s Never Too Late For Happy Hour- (Insert City Here)


You’re in the middle of a hectic project and you would like to go out for an evening or two. You are in fear of going alone. You don’t have to be afraid anymore as this is when I come to the picture. Your personal social butterfly is here to rescue you. Do you accept this challenge?

3. 777, Jackpot- (Insert City Here)


I am an attractive young lady. My goal is to meet a gentleman and I just hope that chivalry still exists. He must be well traveled as i love to talk about different destinations. I am interested in art, golf, and trying the best restaurants that (insert city) has to offer.

What you’ll learn about me is that I am an elegant individual with a sense of style.

Please be at least 35-55, as I prefer my men older.


4. Lonely Lunches & Dull Dinners- (Insert City Here)

I enjoy to be your oasis, you can forget the issues of everyday life in. I will be happy to experience times of adventure with you, and discover new worlds with you. When we are together, I’ll make you the center of your universe. I will be devoted to satisfying your desires. Just let the rhythm flow through your mind, body and spirit.


I’m not opposed to refreshing yet exciting experiences that make me grow as a person and evolve my professional possibilities. My primary goal is to find a gentleman who is sincere, honest and charitable.


5. Fountain Of Youth- (Insert City Here)

My ideal gentleman is someone who is financially secure as well as intelligent, older and knows how to keep a woman happy. If you are interested in leading more about this exciting opportunity let’s go out for drinks.

6. Discrete Daddy Wanted- (Insert City Here)

A little bit about myself, I am nice, have a bubbly personality, not to mention, I am a spicy, sassy, sweet, sexy petite mixed creature. I would like to be taken care of. Does it sound like you? If so, please email me. Gracias!

7. Establish An Agreement- (Insert City Here)

I enjoy the company of ambitious, successful, gentlemen. I thrive when expectations are clear and well defined in the beginning letting the rest take care of itself as it all unfolds.


I am seeking a gentleman who desires the benefits of companionship, without the entanglements of a traditional relationship. I would like to be spoiled and pampered.


8. The Ambiance- (Insert City Here)

People tell me I have an exotic look. Natural beauty by day, and dressed to the nines at night. I love the finest things life has to offer and will not settle for less. I am ready for fun and ultimately looking for one person to share my life with. I am attracted to powerful men. Honesty and loyalty are very important to me. I love black tie events, the opera, movies, both domestic and international travel, exotic/luxury cars, golfing, skiing and shopping. I believe in chivalry, romance, and sensuality.

I know what I want and when I find it, I will be off the market.


I spend my free time searching for the man of my dreams. He is worldly, educated, classy, fun, and sexy. A man that enjoys taking care of himself and the woman he is crazy about. A man that loves to travel, both planned and spontaneous.

9. Intelligence Is The Ultimate Aphrodisiac- (Insert City Here)


Don’t open the bottle of wine just yet. Just wait. Aren’t you missing something? No, I’m not talking about the appetizers or the main dish. You are missing, me.


My world is rich and diverse. My standards are high. I reserve the right to say no to invitations when appropriate.

I am most definitely not opposed to seeking an arrangement with a gentleman who is diplomatic, refined, exceptional and a philanthropic. You be will be impressed with my confidence along with my presence. I can’t wait to meet you.

10. Dinner With A Beautiful Woman- (Insert City Here)


I am a woman who enjoys having a man truly be a man and a provider. I like spending my time with a mature individual who knows how to treat a woman, and he knows how to make the most of each moment we spend together.

I am seeking a successful man who is interested in exploring a relationship that is mutually beneficial. I want to meet an individual who is open to new things and enjoying quality time.


After you have posted your ad, it’s time to play the waiting game.

You’ve got a response! What’s next? If it sounds intriguing, you can either do two things:

1. Send a personalized email about yourself and what you are looking for OR you can use my example spam message but of course you would have to reword it and it goes like this:

“Thank you so much for responding to my ad. I would love to get to know you better and hopefully you’ll give me the opportunity to do so. I hope you don’t mind my age as I am _____ years old, however I do consider myself as a young face with an old soul, therefore, I am comfortable in any setting. If you don’t mind me asking what exactly is your occupation because I do consider myself as an entrepreneur. I can’t wait to hear back from you.”

After you send that and he replies again, that means you are in there for scheduling a date. Remember to agree to meet at a public place.


Bonus tips: You are allowed to post at least 5 ads a day, so please post, never feel discouraged when they flag it.


1. Be very firm when they ask you what exactly you are looking for. When they ask, do not be shy. Tell him exactly this: At this time, I am looking for a gentleman who isn’t opposed to exploring a relationship that is rather mutually beneficial to as I have done something like this before and the experience was great to where I would like to try again. If he doesn’t know what that means, do not delete his email. Explain to him that in other words you are seeking a sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement.


Good luck ladies!

Imagine Chris taking care of you.

A/N: I’m never going to find a man like him. 😢😂

You awoke with a hoarse throat and a stuffy nose; every bone in your body ached and you knew you had come down with the flu. You cleared your throat then grimaced at the discomfort as you reached for your phone. You had to text your boyfriend, Chris, to cancel the day you had planned together; the last thing your superbly busy actor boyfriend needed was a cold to slow him down. You sent the text off then fell back asleep as you waited for a response.

Chris arrived at your apartment shortly after he got your text because not even the plague could’ve kept him from you. With him were a paper bag filled with groceries from Whole Foods so he could cook you proper food, and a plastic bag from CVS filled with lozenges and medicines that will hopefully speed up your healing process. His keychain jangled as he entered your apartment which was quieter than usual. The assumption was that you were sleeping because that was all you did when you were sick, you barely ate and always forgot to take your medicines. Hence why your boyfriend had to come over, to make sure the love of his life got the care she needed.

He quietly lowered the bags down on your kitchen counter top then padded down the hallway to your bedroom where you were asleep with your phone still clutched in your hand. He leaned against the doorframe and chuckled softly with a shake of his head before moving towards you to gently pull your phone from your hand. He put it aside then carefully adjusted you, your pillows, and your covers before leaving you to rest. He pulled his phone out of his pocket as he made his way back to the kitchen, dialing your home phone to speak to your grandmother. You’d always raved about her chicken macaroni soup when either of you had the flu, claiming it had magical healing powers. You’d made it once for him before and it did make him feel better, so he figured he’d make it for you too. But first, he needed the recipe.

When you woke up again, light clanging noises could be heard coming from your kitchen; you figured it was just your mind playing tricks on you. You breathed in then cough, choking on your own stuffiness. You groaned as you sat up, gently massaging your neck with your hand. God, you hated the flu. For such a common illness, it really was a bitch. You shuddered even though it wasn’t cold out and grabbed your fleece throw, wrapping it around you like a cape before shuffling outside with small steps. The closer you got to the kitchen, the louder the noises got. Your eyes narrowed; had someone broken into your place? You stayed close to the wall then poked your head out around the corner, eyeing the mysterious man standing over the stove. A smile broke out when you realized it was Chris because did you really expect him to leave you alone?

“What are you doing here?” You chuckled softly and he turned around, smiling. “I thought I specifically told you to stay away from me and my apartment today.” He walked over to you, wrapping you into a warm hug and kissing the top of your head. You can’t afford to get sick, Chris.“ You tried to push him away but he only hugged you tighter.

"I can’t afford my beautiful girlfriend to suffer alone,” he pulled away and cupped your face in his hands. “You’re so warm, do you have the fever too?” You shrugged and he chuckled, dropping his hands. “See, how can I not come over? You’d be the death of yourself.”

“It’s just a cold, Chris,” you rolled your eyes.

“Well then,” he smiled, “let’s kick it together, shall we?”

You smiled and took the hand he was holding out, he led you over the sofa and sat you down. “I got Mulan in the player and The Princess and The Frog ready to go straight after, ‘cause Lord knows those are the movies you watch when you need motivation and strength.” You chuckled as he turned on your TV, pressing play. “Assortment of medication on the kitchen counter that we’ll get to after you have some food.”

“I don’t really feel like eating, Chris,” you told him what he’d expected to hear.

“I’m sure you’ll change your mind once you hear what I’ve got for you to eat,” he said with a smile that peaked your curiosity. You took your eyes off the TV and looked to where he was, scooping something out of a pot and into one of your ceramic bowls. “I gave Grandma Elsie a call,” he began as he made his way back over to you; the smile you had on your face told him that you knew exactly what he’d made.

“You didn’t.” You gasped when he nodded. “Chris,” you cooed then pouted adorably. “Thank you, baby.” He passed you the bowl which was insulated by a Minnie Mouse tea towel. “You’re the best.” He pointed at his lips, gesturing for you to kiss him. “No way,” you laughed. “I’m not getting you sick.”

“Fine,” he huffed. “How about one on the cheek?” He asked, turning his cheek for you. You sighed and leaned in to give him a quick peck, knowing he wouldn’t let up. “Ah hah,” he turned right at the last second and you got him on the lips instead. “Don’t worry,” he chuckled when you shook your head at him, trying not to smile. “I took anti-viral pills before coming over here, I had a feeling I was going to want to kiss you. I was very right,” he chuckled when you laughed.

“I love you,” you told him and he smiled, carefully wrapping an arm around you so you wouldn’t spill your soup. “And I love that you went through so much effort for me, you’re the best.” You spooned some soup with macaroni and shredded chicken into your mouth, grinning when it tasted exactly like your grandmother’s.

“The soup’s pretty good too, right?”

“Pretty good?” You chuckled. “Sweetheart, you nailed it.” He smiled and kissed your forehead before letting you enjoy your soup. “Honestly, Chris.” You turned to him, smiling as you watched him intently. He turned away from the TV and raised an eyebrow at you, “I don’t think I’ll ever meet another man like you.”

“God, I hope not,” he chuckled and you smiled. “'Cause I’m a lover, not a fighter.” You rolled your eyes, chuckling. “But you know something?” He pressed his lips against your head and whispered into your hair, “I’d fight both heaven and hell if it meant keeping you in my life.”

“Yeah,” you smiled, “I don’t think I’ll ever meet another man like you.”

youtube

I knew exactly what love looked like- in seventh grade.

Even though I hadn’t met love yet, if love had wandered into my homeroom I would’ve recognized him at first glance. Love wore a hemp necklace.

I would’ve recognized her at first glance, love wore a tight french braid.

Love played acoustic guitar and knew all my favorite Beatle songs.

Love wasn’t afraid to ride the bus with me.

And I knew,

I just must be searching the wrong classrooms,

just must be checking the wrong hallways, she was there, I was sure of it.

If only I could find him.

But when love finally showed up,

she had a bowl cut.

He wore the same clothes every day for a week.

Love hated the bus.

Love didn’t know anything about The Beatles.

Instead,

every time I try to kiss love,

our teeth got in the way.

Love became the reason I lied to my parents.

I’m going to- Ben’s house.

Love had terrible rhythm on the dance floor, but made sure we never missed a slow song.

Love waited by the phone because she knew that if her father picked up it would be:

“Hello? Hello? I guess they hung up.”

And love grew,

stretched like a trampoline.

Love changed.

Love disappeared, slowly, like baby teeth, losing parts of me I thought I needed.

Love vanished like an amateur magician, and everyone could see the trapdoor but me.

Like a flat tire, there were other places I planned on going,

but my plans didn’t matter.

Love stayed away for years, and when love finally reappeared, I barely recognized him.

Love smelt different now, had darker eyes,

a broader back, love came with freckles I didn’t recognize.

New birthmarks, a softer voice.

Now there were new sleeping patterns,

new favorite books.

Love had songs that reminded him of someone else,

songs love didn’t like to listen to.

So did I.

But we found a park bench that fit us perfectly,

we found jokes that make us laugh.

And now, love makes me fresh homemade chocolate chip cookies.

But love will probably finish most of them for a midnight snack.

Love looks great in lingerie but still likes to wear her retainer.

Love is a terrible driver, but a great navigator.

Love knows where she’s going, it just might take her two hours longer than she planned.

Love is messier now,

not as simple.

Love uses the words “boobs” in front of my parents.

Love chews too loud.

Love leaves the cap off the toothpaste.

Love uses smiley faces in her text messages.

And turns out,

love shits!

But love also cries. And love will tell you you are beautiful

and mean it,

over and over again.

You are beautiful.

When you first wake up,

“you are beautiful.”

When you’ve just been crying,

“you are beautiful.”

When you don’t want to hear it,

“you are beautiful.”

When you don’t believe it,

“you are beautiful.”

When nobody else will tell you,

“you are beautiful.”

Love still thinks- you are beautiful.

But love is not perfect and will sometimes forget,

when you need to hear it most,

you are beautiful,

do not forget this.

Love is not who you were expecting, love is not who you can predict.

Maybe love is in New York City, already asleep, you are in California, Australia, wide awake. Maybe love is always in the wrong time zone.

Maybe love is not ready for you. Maybe you are not ready for love.

Maybe love just isn’t the marrying type.

Maybe the next time you see love is twenty years after the divorce, love looks older now, but just as beautiful as you remembered.

Maybe love is only there for a month.

Maybe love is there for every firework, every birthday party, every hospital visit.

Maybe love stays-

maybe love can’t.

Maybe love shouldn’t.

Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to, and love leaves exactly when love must.

When love arrives, say,

“Welcome. Make yourself comfortable.”

If love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her.

Turn off the music, listen to the quiet,

whisper,

“Thank you. Thank you for stopping by.”

Um, no it is not too early for Christmas headcanons what.


But can you imagine Lily and Remus’ face when they walk down to the kitchens together for some more tea and a study break and find James and Sirius already down there, brewing hot chocolate and singing Baby It’s Cold Outside at each other.

It starts out nice and soft like maybe James just kind of starts mumbling it to himself as he stirs the melting chocolate, “I really can’t stay…. I’ve got to go way… This evening has been-”

And then Sirius just kind of mumbles back a, “Been hoping that you’d drop in..”

And James doesn’t miss a beat, “So very nice,”

Sirius has his head in the cupboard, looking for marshmallows, and his voice is all echoey for the next line, “I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice.”

And Lily and Remus walk in just as Sirius is singing, “I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell.”

James licks the spoon he was stirring with and then hands the mostly empty bowl to Sirius to have, “I ought to say no, no, no sir.”

And Sirius is trying to scrape the last bits of chocolate from the bowl and sings a little absentmindedly, “Mind if I move in closer?”

And Remus and Lily are just standing there open mouthed behind them like how have we not witnessed this before?

“I really can’t stay,”

“Baby don’t hold out,”

And then finally, when they sing together, not exactly on key, Remus and Lily just look at each other, rolling their eyes but each of them knows what the other’s thinking,

I’m in love with an idiot. 

“Baby it’s cooold oooutsiiide.”

deep blue flowers

read it on ao3

Alex hasn’t been listening to Elliot for about the past half hour. If he’s going to barge into the training room and start rambling about Danny while pacing around the treadmill that Alex is currently on, he’s going to have to accept that Alex is not focusing on him. Not once he’s been running for over an hour and needs to focus on breathing, anyway.

“…so I was hoping that you knew a way to get into Ouranos and—”

“What?” Alex almost topples off the treadmill. “You can’t go there unless you’re dead. Everyone knows that.”

Elliot shrugs. “I’m dead, technically.”

“And why do you want to do this again?”

Keep reading

A simple wishing spell

You will need:

☆A square piece of paper, the prettier the better. Plain paper is fine– I use sticky notes. But decoration, while not strictly necessary, is appreciated.

☆Knowledge of origami, or any form of paper-folding. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy– I like to make a butterfly, because lighting along the wings makes the flame less likely to go out before I want it to. Any animal or shape will do, but the more complex the better.

☆A safe, controlled space where you can light a small fire. You WILL use caution during this spell. I won’t have some idiot spoiling my spell by lighting a paper crane on their carpet floor and burning their house down. I like to use a small glass candle holder I got at a craft store. It looks like a little red mosaic bent into a bowl shape. The light through the little glass pieces is very pretty.

☆A way to put out the fire. I like to end spells, particularly fire spells, myself. There are no misunderstandings that way– the forces I appeal to when I light my flame know exactly what I’m asking for, and to what extent. When I’m done, I use the lid of one of my other candles to suffocate the flame. I don’t like to blow out paper fires, as I might just end up with hot ashes flying around. If you want to let the fire burn itself out, you be my guest, but you will not leave the fire until it is completely out.

☆A pen, and a clear head.

So here’s what you do:

◇ Write your wish. Word it clearly, like you’re talking to a genie who wants to trick you, with no room for backfire or loopholes.

◇Draw any sigils you’d like to include. Today I wished for my boyfriend to have a good day at work, and for his drive to be safe when he comes to pick me up tonight. Below, I drew the sigil I made of his name. I signed the wish with my own name sigil. Fire is a great way to activate sigils, when you’re careful.

◇Decorate your paper. If you pray to deities, now is the time to incorporate their symbols and other stuff they like into your drawing. I do simple designs, stars, flowers; whatever feels right and relevant. The more effort you put into this, the more effective the spell.

◇Fold your paper. I like butterflies because, like I said, they burn well, but if a certain animal is more relevant to your wish– cats for vigilance, dogs for protection, hummingbirds for afterlife-related stuff, etc– feel free to use it instead. Be careful to let your ink dry well, and don’t smudge it while you fold.

◇Place your paper animal in a SAFE PLACE and burn it. Burning along points and edges works best for me. Using a long-nosed lighter or very long matches (like barbecue matches) is probably a good idea. Don’t burn yourself. Bad form. Again, PRACTICE FIRE SAFETY ABOVE ALL ELSE. I cannot stress this enough.

◇Gently fanning the fire is fine, but be careful not to put it out. You can always relight, but it may send some weird messages. If you screw up, be sure to apologize and explain yourself. You’re not in trouble, but magic is tricky. You don’t want to leave any loopholes.

◇Say any prayers you want to say. In this particular spell, I told the fire that my boyfriend can be a little impatient and drive recklessly, and that I’d appreciate it if it could help him stay safe. Prayers don’t have to be ancient incantations. A casual conversation is perfectly acceptable. Be polite and respectful.

◇When the paper animal is no longer recognizable, put out your fire, or let it burn out. If you let it burn out, do not leave it until it is completely out. If you’d like, you can scatter the ashes. Cleanse the space thoroughly. And I mean literally clean it. Clear up any ashes or remains. Again, fire safety.

◇If you’d like, say another prayer. Thank your respective deity for listening. If it’s important to you, you can formally end the spell by doing a spiritual cleanse, but for me the spell ends with the fire.

PRACTICE FIRE SAFETY. OPEN A WINDOW TO LET THE SMOKE OUT. DON’T LIGHT FIRES AROUND PEOPLE OR ANIMALS THAT SHOULD NOT BE NEAR FIRE. BE RESPONSIBLE.

Thanks. Fair fortune.

Lava, Leo, and Love.

Can you do one where your crush invites you over to hang out when his parents aren’t home and fluff/other stuff? Thanks : )

Hi! I was wondering if you could do one where you and your crush get intimate for the first time.

*so as I keep getting more requests, some of them are related, and so they’ll become combined imagines so that I can get through them all faster!*




Your phone buzzed.

‘Hey, do you want to come over? Watch a movie?’

That was the message that you received at 5:06 PM. It was a Friday night after school, and you had just finished your homework for the weekend. What great timing.

The message was from (y.c.n).

Your phone buzzed again.

‘Please? Mom and Dad are visiting my sick aunt. I’m all alone.’

You grabbed your phone and typed a reply, ‘Do you have popcorn?’

‘For you, yes I do.’

‘Give me ten minutes.’ you said.

You had just pulled into (y.c.n)’s driveway and you saw his eyes watching you from the front window. You giggled, it was cute.

You got to the door, and you heard him stand up from his spot on the floor by the window, and then the door opened, and he quickly pulled you inside.

You were giggling, and he put a finger over your mouth. “Shh…” he said, looking around.

“Uh…” you stood there utterly confused.

“The volcano just erupted! Quick, up here!” he said, jumping onto the couch.

“Uh…” was all you could say.

“(Y.n)!” he said, “Get up here! Your feet will burn off!” he motioned for you to follow him up onto the couch.

He offered you a hand, and you took it. He pulled you up onto the couch. The cushions were soft beneath your feet, and you almost lost your balance, but (y.c.n) caught you and held you steady with his hands on your waist.

“I think we’re safe as long as we don’t touch the ground.” he said.

“So what about the popcorn?” you asked, pretending to be worried.

“It’s in the kitchen!” he said, snapping his head across the room in the direction of the kitchen.

“Well that’s a lost cause.” you said, crossing your arms, and pouting.

“No!” he said. “We’ll get the popcorn!” Then he started to move to the coffee table, then to the chair that was close to the doorway. He turned around, motioning you to follow. You cautiously stepped onto the coffee table, and then the chair. He moved around the doorway and onto the chair around the corner. You followed him until you had made your way to the kitchen counter, and he bent down grabbed the bowl of popcorn.

Then together you two made your way back to the couch. When you got there, you sat down and he grabbed the remote from the coffee table and pressed play. The movie started and you were surprised that he had picked Titanic.

“Really?” you asked, looking over at him.

He shrugged. “I like this movie.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.” You said. “It’s a chick flick!”

“So?” He scoffed, “Just because I’m a guy means I can’t like Leo?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what it means.” you said, stealing a handful of popcorn.

“That’s totally sexist.” he said.

“Eh.” you shrugged your shoulders.

As you turned your attention back to the movie, he turned his attention to you. He periodically stole glances at you during the duration of the film, and as it neared the end, you started crying.

“No, don’t cry.” He said.

“Don’t you get it though?” you asked, “They can’t win, they can’t make it together.”

“But you’re too beautiful to cry.” he said, not even caring that Jack was dying as he clung to Rose’s hands.

“But, he’s dying!” you said.

“It doesn’t matter, don’t cry.” he moved closer to you, and put his arm around you, and you cuddled into him, holding on to him, your wailing tears staining his sweatshirt. He rubbed his hand up and down your back as the movie finished, and you continued to cry into him. He traced circles and other designs on your cardigan, and your breathing evened, and slowly, your tears stopped.

You uncurled yourself from him, and looked up at his eyes, which were already looking at yours. “You good?” he asked.

“Yeah.” you said. “Sorry, I’m such a wreck.”

“No no no, it’s okay, really.” he said.

You wiped a few final tears away, “Okay.”

“You’re beautiful, you know that, right?” he asked.

“Not right now, I’m not.” you blushed.

You looked away, only for his fingers to tilt your head up slightly to meet his eyes again. You got lost in his big brown orbs, and they began to close as he leaned in slightly until your lips touched.

You pulled back, shocked.

“Don’t be scared.” he mumbled against your lips.

Then he tried again, and you didn’t pull away, but instead let him kiss you. And before you knew what you were doing, you were kissing him back. Your hands rested on his chest, and he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you on top of him, so you straddled his lap. You never broke the kiss, and your lips were tingling with pleasure.

When he pulled back for air, you were looking down at him. You smiled, and he gently squeezed your hips with his large hands. You pecked his lips one more time, which made him smile.

“Where did that come from?” you asked.

“I don’t know.” he said. “Maybe I was jealous that Jack got a pretty girl and I wanted one of my own.”

“Maybe?” you smirked.

“Alright I want one of my own.” he caved. “I want you.”

Your heart fluttered, “Alright.” you played it cool.

His face contorted with worry, “You don’t want me too?”

“No, I do.” you nodded.

He let go a breath of relief. “That’s good.”

You leaned in again, and before your lips touched, you whispered, “Indeed it is.”

“Bugging Out”

Another Karmagisa fanfic inspired by the Ask Karunagi blog and their cute and adorbale pictures of my OTP. Here are the links to the pics that have inspired this oneshot. Enjoy and check them out if you haven’t already!

http://karunagi.tumblr.com/post/146872862223/a-few-times-yeah-bonus

http://karunagi.tumblr.com/post/147425457118/i-guess-you-could-say-that

He was just minding his business when “it” decided to come along the top of the couch. He was watching his favorite anime show while Karma was in the kitchen, making a late night snack for the both of them. It was their typical Friday where they would stay in for the night to watch a movie together. Tonight, they were going to watch the newest Sonic Ninja move that had just been released on DVD and Nagisa was pretty excited. So while he waited for Karma, he decided to turn on Pokémon, and was so engrossed in the current battle that was on the screen, that he didn’t see “it” slowly making its way down the front of the couch.  

Ah yes, Nagisa’s guilty pleasure when it came to anime was indeed Pokémon. Only Karma knew how much of a Pokémon fan Nagisa was. He had been watching the show since he was a little boy and started collected the trading cards when he was about nine. Karma was a Pokémon fan himself anyways but was more into the video games aspect of it, including the newest mobile game called Pokémon GO! So really they were both secret diehard Pokémon fans, but it was nice to have each other to geek out with and talk about everything Pokémon related without feeling embarrassed.

A popping sound could be heard from the kitchen, the faint smell of butter and popcorn wafting in the living room, as Nagisa’s red-headed roommate came stalking out, his face staring intently down at his phone. Nagisa chuckled knowing full well what Karma was up to.

“Going for a quick walk?” he asked, his eyes still glued to the tv screen.

“Um. Yeah. There’s a Cubone nearby, I’m thinking it may be outside the apartment. Just gonna double check. Be right back,” Karma replied, slipping on his flip flops and opening the front door, not bothering to look up from his phone. Nagisa smiled. He sure was cute when he was determined.

“Okay, I’ll wait to start the movie. I’m finishing up this episode anyways,”

“K”

The front door closed at the same time that the microwave dinged. Popcorn’s ready! Nagisa thought as he paused the episode and made his into the kitchen to get their bowls prepared. Once he had two white bowls piled mile high with steaming hot popcorn, Nagisa took his own bowl and returned back to the couch, plopping down and crossing his legs. He was already in his pjs for the night, blue shorts and a white tee, with his hair wet from his recent shower, teeth brushed and face washed. He was ready for movie night.

He pulled the nearby red, flannel blanket over his lap, getting comfy before Karma showed up to claim the blanket for himself since it was really was Karma’s blanket. They could just share it, Nagisa thought, pressing the play button to resume watching his show.

The “it” that was on the couch though was not interesting in the show at all but instead, was inching it’s way near Nagisa’s blanket and his delicious popcorn that was sitting in his lap. The smell alone gave away the location of the food and it wasn’t trying to be discreet any longer. Its beady little eyes were now eyeballing the yellow and fluffy puffs that Nagisa was absent-mindedly stuffing into his face. It slowly made its way up the mounds of the flannel blanket, hoping to not the catch the attention of the boy in front of it. But Nagisa was so engrossed that he wouldn’t have noticed if even Korosensei, himself, would have appeared by his side and started to eat his popcorn. So “it” deemed it safe enough to venture farther onto to blanket and onto the boy’s lap. Slow and steady wins the race but it needed to make it to the bowl before all the yellow fluff disappeared. It was getting closer, its antennas merely centimeters way from feeling its way up the bowl when suddenly….

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!”  

The world around “it” was tossing and turning about as it was thrown off the blanket, landing surprisingly  on its tiny legs on the far side of the couch. The yellow bits of fluff were now thrown in every direction as the bowl itself landed on the carpet with a thud. Then the front door opened.

“GISA! GISA! Look! Look! Not only did I catch a Cubone but I also found a…what…the…hell?” Karma’s eyes widened at the scene in front of him. There was popcorn all over the floor and all over his favorite blanket. A bowl was upside down on the ground and a freaked out Nagisa was suddenly behind Karma, shaking and pointing to the couch. How the hell did he get behind me so fast? Karma thought as Nagisa clung to Karma’s elbow, still pointing and sputtering about.

“Ka-Ka-ka-karma, Do something! Ki-ki-kill it! Kill it! Something!” Nagisa spitted out, his voice shaky and his eyes filled with terror. Karma was growing concerned, looking all over the room for whatever “it” was Nagisa wanted him to kill.

“Kill what, Nagisa? Did someone break into the apartment?” Karma asked with an edge to his voice, as he opened the nearby closet, pulling out the baseball bat that he kept for such times.

“No-no-nooo,” Nagisa whimpered.

“Then what is it? Did a bat or a bird fly in here or something?”

“N-n-no, it’s not…a bat…or bird…either”.

Karma turned to look at Nagisa with a confused look on his face. He had no idea what else could have caused the bluenette to be in such a state of panic. Nagisa was always good at keeping his fears in check. He was so good, in fact that when it came out that his mom was psycho, Karma was shocked because Nagisa never did show that he was ever fearful of his mom’s behavior.

Carefully Karma took Nagisa’s shaking hand and laced into his own.

“Then what is it that scared you?” he softly asked the bluenette.

Nagisa finally looked up at Karma.

“It’s….it’s a bug, Karma. A bug the size of my hand! It is creepy and black and made its way onto my…my lap while I wasn’t looking.”

Karma glared at him then back to the couch, searching over it with his golden eyes. Finally after a few moments, something black caught his eye on the left side of the couch. Letting go of the shaken up Nagisa and leaning the bat on the wall, he stalked over to the couch and found what appeared to be a large, black, carpenter ant making its way down the couch arm. Karma had to fight back the laughter that was blubbing over in his mouth. He couldn’t believe out of ALL THINGS to scare Nagisa into such a tizzy, it was a harmless ant.

Suddenly a mischievous thought crossed his mind as a Cheshire grin appeared across his face. It was almost as if devil horns were growing out of his head as he leaped back away from the couch with drama.

“OH. MY. GOD!” He yelled, running and hiding behind Nagisa.

“What?! Did you see it? It’s huge right? I told you!”

“You said it was the size of your hand! Not the size of mine, Gisa! Jeez, why would you lie to me like that?” Karma whined, pretending to also be shaken up. “I don’t think I can just spray that thing down, Gisa. I think…I think we need to call pest control for this one.”

Nagisa nodded his head up and down furiously and then realized that Karma was actually pushing him forward.

“What…what are you doing?”

“I think we need to get a closer look don’t you? So we know what to tell pest control what we are dealing with,” Karma stated as they sauntered towards the couch together.

“Right, right. Good point,” Nagisa agreed, with serious bloodlust in his eyes. He was fully determined to see where the bug went and what exactly it was, getting a hold of himself and his fear finally.

“You saw what I saw right?” Karma asked from behind Nagisa.

“Yeah it was a huge black…”

“Spider! A black widow, I think. Good thing you moved when you did, Gisa. You could have been poisoned,” Karma interrupted him, with a serious tone in his words.

Nagisa began to tremble again. His fear back, and his courage gone like the wind.

“You…you  really think…I could have been…been poisoned?” Nagisa whimpered, suddenly regretting being the one in front as they stopped in front of the bowl on the ground. Nagisa looked around carefully before reaching down to pick it up, when suddenly, the bowl moved. Nagisa yelped, retracting his hand and before Karma realized it, he was back hiding behind the bigger boy, pushing Karma to the front.

“It…it…moved, the bowl moved, Karma! We have to call pest control now!”

“Quick, get the bug spray, I’ll try to sedate it while we call,” Karma ordered, trying so hard not to laugh at the nervous Nagisa who moved with lightning speed to the kitchen. While he was gone, Karma leaned down and lifted up the bowl to find the ant happily walking about the few pieces of popcorn that was left in the bowl. He smiled down at his new friend. He could have dragged this on for a while longer but Karma really did want to settle down eventually and watch the Sonic Ninja movie they rented. So in that instant, he decided to be caught.

“Um…Karma…what are you doing?” Nagisa questioned the other boy, holding the bug spray and glaring down at Karma who now had the “black widow” crawling about in the palm of his hand.

“Playing with our new, dangerous ant friend. I named him “Black Widow,” Karma cheerfully replied, humming to himself. “My, my, mister Black Widow, you sure did give our friend, Gisa here, a terrible fright when you jumped into his lap didn’t you?” Karma petted the black ant on the head, ignoring the heat of Nagisa’s glare that was drilling holes in the back of his head. But since Nagisa wasn’t speaking up, Karma turned around to find him giving Karma his infamous death stare with his arms folded.

Another mischievous thought came to mind.

“Oh no,” Karma groaned as he fell back onto Nagisa who put his hand out, instinctively,  catching Karma in midair and pushing him up.

“Karma, what are you doing?!!!!”

“It seems Black Widow is taking me down with his dangerous force. Gravity is increasing on me as we speak,” he whined, putting more of his weight onto Nagisa, who was falling backwards, and losing his balance against the larger male.

“KARMA GET OFF OF ME! AND GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!”

Thump.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I HATE YOU, KARMA! YOUR’E CRUSHING ME! UGH!”

Karma’s chuckling filled the room as footprints were heard, stomping from the living room and into the bedroom.

Slam.

Welp, there goes movie night, Karma thought as he picked up a piece of popcorn off the floor and popped into his mouth.  His friend “Black Widow” had managed to escape from the whole ordeal and was crawling under the couch, dragging a piece of popcorn behind. 

And I didn’t even get to tell Gisa about the Lapras I found before the app froze….maybe I should go cheer him up.

With that last thought, Karma flipped himself up and off the ground, making his way towards the bedroom door. He knew exactly how to cheer up his Gisa. Pulling out his chapstick, he popped it opened and began to rub it all over his lips.

“Oh Gisaaaaaaa, I’m ready to make up nowwwww.”

The End. Hope you guys enjoy :)

Here is a post-Extraction fic that I have been meaning to write for a while now, mostly inspired by @lenleg‘s liveblogging, specifically this post, appropriately named “dfghjkjghdyusidfugyutrediksdnhvbgyutrdik” 

Trick of the Mind

The worst dreams come in free fall.

Breathless, helpless, unending falls that defy the laws of time and space.  Even when there’s no more fall left, he’s still plummeting, robbed of his chance to shatter across an undefined bottom.  His gut stretches and squishes.  His heart paces in his chest, as if trying to decide whether or not it should abandon ship.  It’s a constant state of all that will happen—a constant awareness of what’s to come—until, all at once, the bottom appears, and he regrets every wish he’s made for an end.

He wakes up with the landing, life renewed.  He’s drowning in his own sweat, hair stuck to his temples, breaths heavy and tasting of salt.  The soreness lingers through some sort of half-baked dreamer’s hallucination, every bone in his body shattered, every muscle torn apart, until reality catches up with him and his mind realizes that the fall is as fake as the pain.

Except his back.  That pain is very real.

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Request: Cuddles with Wonwoo imagine

You had a stressful day to say the least. Nothing seemed to be going your way. First you walk into your math class only to realize there was a test you had forgotten to study for, and you teacher threatened to call your teacher. Even after the real school day, your extra-curricular activity was running late and you would miss the movie that you planned to see with your boyfriend Wonwoo. You decided to call him to let him know, better to tell him now than have him disappointed later. You punched in his phone number and waited for a few rings before you heard his low voice.
“Are you almost here y/n?” Wonwoo asked, clearly eager to see you.
“Wonwoo…” you responded, dread filling your voice. You really didn’t want to cancel him but it was already 6pm and your movie was supposed to start in 15 minutes.
“What is it?” He responded, curious as to what could make you seem so upset.
“I’m not gonna make it to the movie, I’m really sorry Wonwoo, its just-“ You began babbling, trying to explain why you weren’t going to be able to see the movie with your boyfriend.
“Yah,” Wonwoo interjected, trying to get through your frantic explanation “it’s okay y/n.” his voice was calm and even and you would be lying if you said it didn’t relax you.
“r-really?” You asked, fully prepared to provide an extensive explanation about how you didn’t mean to stay for so long but you needed to talk to your math teacher and you couldn’t just skip out on extra-curriculars and you’re really sorry it’s just-
“Of course. But I still want to do something today, you wanna watch a movie at my house instead?” Wonwoo asked. You still couldn’t believe that he was so okay with missing the movie that he paid for tickets for and was talking about for days beforehand.
“Yeah, of course, I’ll be at your house in like 30 minutes, if that’s okay,” you said warily, still surprised that he wasn’t upset.
In 30 minutes or so, you arrived at the door, and Wonwoo opened it for you with a smile. He led you to the living room, telling you to look through his movie collection while he prepared some popcorn. Looking through the movies he had at his house, you stumbled upon one of your favorite romantic comedies, with a predictable plot and quirky and trope filled high schoolers. You stood up with the movie in your hands, as he emerged with an enourmous bowl filled to the brim with popcorn.
“Hope you’re hungry,” He smiled, raising his eyebrows at the movie you chose “you know that was my favorite movie throughout all of elementary school?” He asked, moving to put the movie in the DVD player, leaving you to start eating the popcorn he had made.
“No way!” you exclaimed, handful of popcorn in your hand
“Yeah,” He laughed lightly, looking at you and slowly moving to your side on the couch “I thought that this movie was going to be exactly what high school was like. Boy was I disappointed when I actually just went to class and complained about said classes to my friends.”
“What, your highschool wasn’t filled with blonde girls clearly in their 20s trying to make a move on the playboy star of the basketball?” you asked, laughing as you handed over the bowl of popcorn and moved to grab the blanket strewn over the other side of the couch.
“Tragically not. There were just a lot of people doing their homework 5 minutes before it was due” Wonwoo laughed again, and you couldn’t ever get enough of it. He scooted over towards you and helped you throw the blanket over the two of you, while also trying to get close to you.
As the movie droned on, you could feel yourself getting bored. You kept looking around, taking tiny bits of popcorn and playing with them. Wonwoo could tell, constantly glancing back at you and shooting you a smile, but then sending his attention back to the screen. Eventually your boredom was too much to bear and you felt yourself slipping into sleep, leaning on your boyfriend’s shoulder to support you.
“Y/n” Wonwoo said, slightly shaking you awake, you felt bad for falling asleep, after all Wonwoo practically just told you about how much he loved the movie, but his concerned expression led you to believe that’s not why he woke you up.
“what is it?” You asked, rubbing your eyes a little to adjust to the harsh light of the TV.
“You were squirming a lot and you had a frown while you were sleeping.” Wonwoo frowned as he explained, rubbing your shoulder soothingly. “Is anything wrong?” He asked
You sighed. Not even in your sleep could you escape the stress the day had put on you. “Yeah,” You managed, running your fingers through your hair. “I just had a really stressful day.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?” He prompted, sitting back a little so that he could listen to you better.
“It’s just my math teacher has been constantly on my case because I’m really bad at math and no matter how much I try I always do bad, and we even had a test I forgot about and I swear to god I was about two seconds away from just turning out the door as soon as I saw calculators on the desk-“ You went on, explaining every detail of the day and how it had been working against you, and Wonwoo sat there attentively, rubbing your calf to ensure you of his presence
As you finished talking, he gathered you into his arms and hugged you tight “I’m so proud of you,” he murmured into your hair. “You’ve been working so hard lately.” Wonwoo laid both of you down on the couch, snaking his arms around your waist and pulling you close. You sighed contentedly, simply feeling the warmth emanating from your boyfriend’s body. You could feel yourself falling sleep again, snuggling back into his body to press yourself against him. Absentmindedly you thought that your mom might be worried, but you’re sure she would ask Wonwoo’s mom if you were there before she got too concerned.

This was super fun to write!! Sorry it took so long I’ve been having a super hectic life recently, but I’ll be back on posting soon!
Requests are open, either message or inbox me :)

Hearts and Flowers

Darcy is sad seeing all the Avengers with their significant others, and complains how no one will give her chocolate and roses. Loki brings her Asgardian food and flowers from his mother’s garden. For ovaries-bfore-brovaries

Attending an Avengers Valentine’s party probably wasn’tthe best choice considering Darcy had just got broken up with. Over text message. By Ian Boothby of all people. She had always taken him for the dumpee type. But apparently she didn’t deserve even that kind of closure. Just a single message: ‘I think we should be friends.’

Typical.

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I’m Always With You || Stiles Stilinski

Stiles x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Feels.

Word Count: 2,812

Summary: The Void has almost taken over, and Stiles wants to install an insurance plan in case it gains full control. 

A/N: I’m SO SORRY IT’S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I’VE POSTED AN IMAGINE BUT LET ME EXPLAIN PLS! Yes, it’s another void!stiles kind of thing, I know. I can’t help it, I’m obsessed. But I promise the next Stiles one will not involve Void! Sorry for not posting, but school is starting back up soon and I’ve pretty much been procrastinating my work till the last second, per the usual. I’ve also been trying to write that Derek fanfic and managing all three of those things has proven to be hard. Not to mention, I’ve been in and out of the hospital with a fever and a sprained ankle AND an infection in my knee that I cut open after I tripped over a damn dog. It’s been a fun last couple of weeks. During the year, I’m thinking it’ll be 1-2 imagines a week, so I’ll try to keep on schedule. Thanks for bearing with me!

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by stilesstilinskiandlydiamartin

Rain was beating down onto the ground- hard. I could hardly even see out by bedroom window, so imagine my surprise when I saw the two blaring headlights of a blue Jeep driving down the street. I ran down my porch steps, greeting the tall scrawny boy who drove the Jeep as he got out. At this point I was soaked in the cold rain, and so was he.

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What’s the difference between a 6-foot-3-inch, 230-pound, black 17-year-old and a 40ish, 5-foot-6-inch black man? Depending on the circumstances, I knew, not much.

It was the late 1970s, and I was that large, 17-year-old, high-school kid—getting good grades and college-bound. I was walking home from Bowlero, a bowling alley in Alexandria, La., on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. I was carrying my bowling bag, complete with a 16-pound ball, shoes and a towel.

I noticed police cars speeding around. Several passed before a Louisiana state trooper stopped. He told me to be careful: There had been a fatal shooting in my neighborhood, and the suspect—a 5-foot-6-inch black man—had escaped on a bicycle.

I walked on until I heard a screech of brakes and looked back. A Rapides Parish sheriff’s deputy—Louisiana has parishes, not counties—got out, crouched behind his car door and pointed his .357-Magnum at me over the top of the door. When you’re on the wrong end of it, the barrel of a .357 looks exactly like a tunnel to eternity.

I knew a few things instinctively: Don’t run, don’t move, don’t argue, and above all, don’t ask why I’d been stopped. Stay calm to live, I thought. The cop had the gun, but it was my responsibility not to do anything to push him to use lethal force against me.

“Turn around real slow,” he said. That’s just what I did. I asked if it was OK to put down the bowling bag, slowly. I knew I had to do everything I could not to create any fear in the officer. Dead but innocent is still dead.

I said little, even as the deputy pushed me down on the hood of his car and handcuffed me.

I was saved when the state trooper who had first stopped me drove back by. He ripped into the deputy, asking him questions, and I answered—which, in another situation, could have been a comedy routine. Does this kid look 5-6? I answered, I’m 6-3. Does this kid look 40? I’m 17. Does this kid look 150 pounds? I’m 230.

The trooper ran through several descriptors for the suspect. I matched just one of them. I asked, “Outside of the basic black, is there any part of the description I fit?”

“Don’t get smart, boy,” the deputy hollered. But the trooper, who also was white, ended the discussion. He was livid. I thank God for him.

Years later, there is still no doubt in my mind that if I had moved in any way that frightened or angered the deputy, he would have shot me, and a reason would have been found to justify it.

  • Regina: (looking through kitchen cabinets) Emma, did you move my mixing bowl?
  • Emma: (from the other room) I'm not exactly sure what your mixing bowl looks like, babe. Just use a different bowl.
  • Regina: I don't want to use a different bowl - I HAVE a mixing bowl. I didn't buy a mixing bowl to not use it when I need to.
  • Emma: It's just a bowl.
  • Regina: Emma, if you don't come in here and help me look for this thing right now, I cannot be held responsible for the things I'm going to do to you.
  • Emma: (walking into the room) Alright, alright, I'm coming.
  • Regina: (pauses upon seeing Emma) Emma, are you eating popcorn?
  • Emma: Yeah.
  • Regina: Do you... know what you're eating that popcorn out of?
  • Emma: A... bowl?
  • Regina: ...
  • Emma: ...
  • Regina: ...
  • Emma: Oh.
  • Regina: Yeah. Hand it over.
  • Emma: How was I supposed to know?
  • Regina: (sighs) What am I going to with you?
  • Emma: Love me until death do us part like you said?
  • Regina: (smiling) Hmm, we'll see.

So I rewatched the Season 3 premiere and noticed how adorably different Monroe and Harper look during Bellamy’s speech, and then I had to write a fic about it. So apparently I have another ship now. 


It’s three months after the Mountain, and Monroe considers it great progress that she’s not angry all the time anymore. Today, however, she’s already in a bad mood when she shows up for sparring, and it doesn’t help at all that Harper is smiling at a shirtless, sweaty Bellamy like some lovesick puppy.

Of course, Monroe can see how he’s kind of nice to look at, objectively speaking, and she would go to hell and back herself for the guy who’s still more of a leader to her than any Chancellor will ever be. As far as crushes go, Bellamy’s a pretty good choice, not that anything could come of it now that he has a girlfriend. But it still irks her when Harper smiles bashfully, eagerly hands him the bag with Lincoln’s uniform jacket and nods along with his every word. So what if it’s a rousing speech, it’s not like they haven’t heard one of Bellamy’s speeches before. And even if Monroe is a little bit moved herself, there’s no reason for the amount of heart-eyes Harper is throwing in Bellamy’s direction. It reeks of hero-worship, and Monroe knows her friend is better than that.

After all, she thinks when Bellamy orders them to team up and Harper automatically turns to her, isn’t Harper a hero herself? Joining up with Bellamy’s gunners to defend the dropship camp, getting captured and tortured after being instrumental in Monty’s plan to contact the Ark from inside Mount Weather – Harper has been through some shit even by earth-standards. If anything, people should be looking at her the way she looks at Bellamy.  

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it’s been a long few months

idk just a little drabble thing. ~600 words


Thor answered the door without hesitation, not even pausing to maybe take a look through one of the narrow windows at either side of it or the peephole.

He nearly dropped his coffee from the shock of seeing Loki standing in front of him, completely soaked from the rain that had been pouring down since the night before and giving him a nervous smile.

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a tiny daisuga single daddies for flenserfics because i have been sorely neglecting our enormous AU, and who doesn’t love volleychildren

word count: 665

It’s silent when he wakes up.

Which would be an absolutely gorgeous way to start the morning, if they didn’t have two four-year-olds in the house.  

Suga learned long ago that silence at any other time besides napping and sleeping meant mischief, and Shouyou’s slow influence on Tobio was starting to show itself more prevalently lately.  Two little ones and a noiseless morning spells nothing but trouble.

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