this is exactly how shitty i feel

It’s January 1st, the first morning of the new year, and Harry can’t imagine being more hungover than he currently is, right now, in this moment. His head is pounding, the Denver sun too bright even through the closed shades in the living room, and Louis will not stop fucking whining that he needs coffee, needs a sweatshirt, needs to unpeel his contacts from his eyeballs, needs something to throw up into.

“Lou, baby, for the love of God, shut the hell up,” Harry groans from his position behind the kitchen counter, wincing as the refrigerator door slams behind him.

“No, it’s your fault I feel so shitty. You forced me to drink.”

Keep reading

Had a girl come in today and give me a 50 for her 8 dollar order.
But I wasn’t mad.
I wasn’t mad because she was nice and understanding and I saw her uniform under her jacket.
She apologized profusely and told me she felt so bad because she knows exactly how shitty it is to be handed a big bill for a small order.
I told her I only had fives and ones, and she literally was like “I used a big bill, fives and singles are all I deserve. I didn’t have time to stop at the bank, I’m on my lunch right now, I’m so sorry.”
Girl.
You’re being nice about this, and I already know you feel me. I’m not mad tbh

Holy shit

The reason why we only find out about stripper Yuuri now and why we only get Victor’s pov NOW is because Yuuri only found out about this drunken shenanigans in episode 10. This anime is viewed from Yuuri’s eyes. You know how everything is clicking in place for us now?

Pretty sure our precious katsudon loving main character feels exactly the same way in that episode.

Kubo and MAPPA are geniuses. A+ writing.

Cheater PART 1

It might be shitty but remember that this is a learning experience for me and I hope it gets better!! Please tell me if you would like to be tagged in the next part!!! Hope you guys like it:)

Bucky x Reader
___________________________________________

Never would I have thought the love of my life would betray me this way. Each time he comes into the room my heart always skips a beat. Every single time. Natasha always says that I “always look at him like he hung up the stars and moon for me.” It’s exactly how he makes me feel- used to make me feel. Bucky comes into the apartment smelling like her and a smirk on his face I would honestly like to slap off. I ignore his presence every single time he comes into my vicinity, I can’t let him know that each time he closes that door it breaks my heart every single time. I follow Bucky into our bedroom and watch him get undressed. He then climbs into bed and I flick off the light. No words have yet to be exchanged. The tension in the air is thick. Right now my love for him is hanging onto a single thread. Bucky breaks me out of my thoughts by saying, “I love you so much Y/N I can’t even imagine my life without you.” Bull FUCKING shit. I just pretend I’m asleep. What he isn’t aware of is that I know where he goes late at night and where he comes from every morning. I’m leaving him tonight, I won’t have the strength to if he’s awake. I slowly get out of bed trying not to wake Bucky up. He looks so peaceful and so handsome. I love him with my entire being but I know he doesn’t feel the same. I get out the suitcase out from under the bed and quietly creep over to my… his dresser. Taking out all of my belongings while tears cascade down my face. As I zip up the large suitcase, Bucky wakes up frantically. “What are you doing Y/N? Has something happened baby?”
“No just go back to sleep.”
“Why are you holding a suitcase right now, where are you going?”
I say nothing as I leave the room slowly turning around to see Bucky with a look of fear on his face as he sits.. alone. As I go down the stairs I hear Bucky’s heavy footsteps walking towards me. He grabs my wrist asking, “Why are you leaving me? What did I do wrong?” I say nothing trying to hold back the sobs threatening to go past my lips. I can’t even look him in the eye knowing I’ll just go right back into his arms. His fingers then grab my chin making me look into his eyes filled to the brim with tears threatening to fall down at any moment.
“I can’t stay here anymore. We haven’t been "us” in a long time. You stopped giving me hugs and kisses when you left for a mission and when you got back from one. You would leave immediately after you got home thinking I didn’t know where you were going. Making up an excuse about a debriefing with Steve, but we both knew that wasn’t the truth. You were going to see that woman. To love her just like did to me. To shower her with your affection and talk about the future you would both have together. I know who you talk to late at night trying not to wake me up with your giggling. I know you don’t love me anymore and that’s okay. Because I’d rather you be happy with her than be unhappy with me. So I have to do this even though I’m incredibly in love with you. I used to dream of growing old with you but now that just seems to be a far off fairytale. But each time I think about you being with her I feel my heart shatter each and every time so just please let me go. Just let me be happy just this once. I don’t want to be in love with you anymore. I don’t want a life with you anymore. I don’t even want to know you. I don’t want hear from you or the others talking about you. I want this to be over.“ By now the tears are falling down my face and my bottom lip is quivering. My head is spinning and Bucky is unresponsive. I knew from then that Bucky wanted me to go and that he wasn’t in love with me anymore. I just wish I had been enough for him. I slammed the door as I had finally left and as I went into the elevator I let myself break down. I started to sob as the elevator door closed with one thing on my mind. Going to Natasha.

______________________________
*Bucky’s POV*
I stood in silence as Y/N walked out of our apartment and out of my life for good. I walked into our bedroom where we shared so many great memories.
Making love for the first time.
Us cuddling in the very early hours of the morning.
Y/N calming me down from the nightmares that made me rack with sobs.
I could go on forever. But what she had said was on my mind.
"I don’t want to be in love with you anymore.” It’s on repeat in my mind. The only thing I can hear and think of at this very moment. I'be never felt this alone in my life and I realized that Y/N is the love of my life and I let her slip through my fingers. She loved me so selflessly and I loved her so selfishly. I am the monster the public makes me out to be. The woman I have been seeing amounts to nothing of how much Y/N makes me feel. That woman couldn’t even be compared to my Y/N. Y/N is the one who got away and I have to make sure she end up happy. Even if it’s with someone else. But I hope to fucking God her future is going to be shared with me.
————————
So that’s the end of part 1! I would love some feedback on how this was and make sure to give it a LIKE or whatever. Let me know if you would like to get tagged in part 2.

The Enemy of My Enemy is Probably Playing Pool With Him

So there’s this thing. Say you really love or identify with Character A. Character B does something to A that you think is awful. You hate the Awful Thing, and you hate B for doing it. Because you identify so much with A, it’s very easy to assume that A must feel exactly the way you do about the Awful Thing. Furthermore, A must feel exactly the way you do about Character B.

The classic example of this in Buffy fandom is the Buffy Tells Everyone They Suck fanfic. You know the one: Buffy finally snaps and tells Willow, Xander, and Giles what shitty friends they’ve been and how much she hates them for bringing her back from heaven/betraying her with Robin Wood/trying to control her love life, and storms off to be with The Only Person Who Really Understands Her (which may be Angel, Spike, Faith, or whoever floats the author’s boat.) I’ve also seen the Xander Tells Everyone They Suck And Gets Superpowers story, the Willow Tells Everyone They Suck And Gets A Goth Makeover Story, and the Giles Does Not Tell Anyone They Suck Because That Would Be Undignified But Cuts The Scoobies Cold And Runs Away To England story. Not to mention the The Character I Like Best Who Should Be The Most Important Person In Buffy’s Life Tells Spike And/Or Angel That They Suck And Optionally Stakes Them And Dances In Their Ashes story.

It can be cathartic to read or write fic like this, of course. It’s a slightly different thing when it happens outside of fic. A few years ago, someone was reviewing the BtVS season 10 comics. The reviewer was absolutely convinced that Dawn was going to stand up on her hind legs (just like Rory Calhoun!) and tell Spike he sucked, because Dawn would never, ever, EVER forgive Spike for attacking Buffy back in S6, any more than the reviewer themselves would. Buffy might be a lost cause because the writers were pandering to Spike fans, but Dawn, the reviewer was convinced, was going to tell Buffy what the reviewer felt Buffy needed to hear. This didn’t happen. In fact, the opposite happened – Dawn urged Buffy to give Spike a chance. With every passing issue, the reviewer grew more and more frustrated and angry. Finally, they quit BtVS fandom in disgust, proclaiming that the writers had destroyed Dawn’s character by failing to have her hate Spike forever and ever.

People do much the same thing with Xander, Willow, Angel, Buffy, Cordelia, Giles, even minor characters like Harmony. I’ve caught myself doing it a few times with a character or two. How can the other characters possibly like or trust That Character when That Character is so obviously Terrible? Nevertheless, nine times out of ten, the characters do. I may think that A should never give B the time of day again, but the interactions between A and B in canon pretty plainly show that either A has forgiven B, or A did not think that the Awful Thing B did to them was all that big a deal in the first place. So while I can certainly nurse my grudge against B, and write fic where A tells B off, I’m lying to myself if I don’t admit that it usually is my grudge, not A’s. And if I expect my grudge to be reflected in canon, I’m usually setting myself up for disappointment. I may WANT A to resent B in canon, but my wanting something doesn’t make it true.

And it doesn’t make all the people who think that it would be cool if A and B were friends, or lovers, or enemies who team up to fight crime, delusional B stans. The thing is, BtVS is an ongoing series. The regular characters are going to keep working together, because it would be unwieldy for the writers to constantly send them all off on their own. Therefore, stuff that would severely strain if not destroy a normal relationship is going to be forgiven, forgotten and patched over, as long as the regular characters remain regular characters. Inside the story, we can come up with all kinds of explanations for why this is so, and outside the story we can make value judgements as to whether the writers did it well or poorly. But the salient point is that it is so.

Every single character in the series has been both the victim and the perpetrator of assorted Awful Things. Yes, even that one. And with very, very few exceptions, in the long run, they’ve all gotten over them. So I try to get over them too. It’s not that I don’t think that the things are Awful. They are. But I’ve found that when I’m unable to move past the Awful Things along with the characters, it sours my enjoyment of the show or the comics. It may take awhile to move on sometimes (as anyone who read my frothing screeds about Twangel knows), but it’s useful to be able to step back and remember that it’s all fiction, and no actual Slayers were harmed in the making of this episode.

You know what I absolutely love and adore about ikonics? We miss our boys and all but we never put the fault on other YG artists or call them YG’s favorite cause we know exactly how shitty it feels when people do that to you and your favorites. We just wait and then when our boys come out, we enjoy the time and mind our own fandoms business. I love you all 💕🙏🏼

why do i feel like the real reason there’s no actual canon scene of ronan at adam’s place is that every time he shows up, he just ends up banging his head on the low sloping ceiling like a dozen times in 30 minutes and complaining about how shitty his apartment is and adam just says “well, you can always leave if you want” in a wry tone that suggests he knows exactly why he’s there and he doesn’t really want him to go at all and ronan’s just like “shut up, parrish” and he almost sounds actually embarrassed and then they both get really quiet and just stare at each other for a long moment before averting their eyes and pretending to be extremely busy getting ready to go to sleep or whatever like the awkward nerds they are

anonymous asked:

Actually from reading the spoilers, it feels more like they ARE going to fall in love again. And this will be a different story. Having OQ fall in love again and being all romantic is dumb just to have him go back to the EF in the end. Too much effort to repeat the same mistake they did last season, which got them to the pretty shitty situation with fans and ratings

That is exactly how I feel about the situation too. 

Knowing what we now know about the narrative ending at the end of 6B it only makes sense that Robin is back for a whole arc and his story doesn’t end but will end the same as everyone else’s maybe that means his story (and their story together) will be up to the audiences interpretation. 

There is no “end date” for Robin that has been determined by the show and NO other actor has been confirmed to return yet so it’s very likely Robin fans are in the exact same position as all other fans. We are all waiting for Season 7 to be confirmed and who is returning to be confirmed, until then it’s safe to assume that there is no reason to send Robin Locksley away, there is a very good chance if the narrative is ending Robin and Regina will be given a suitable happy ever after within the context of the show. 

I really do think this will be OQ’s season. I think the promise of romance and adventure were specifically for Outlaw Queen, knowing that it doesn’t have to end in tragedy opens that up to be a story worthwhile to the audience. A&E’s biggest mistake was underestimating the popularity of Regina and Outlaw Queen. 

I’m so excited to see where this goes and even non biased CS screeners made a point to say they felt optimistic for this being OQ’s season after seeing the spring premiere.

antonia-aran  asked:

So this is gonna sound hella sad but today its been exactly 3 years since my brother died so today is a really shitty day but I just wanna thank you, Ethan and G for cheering me up with your videos. No matter how shitty I feel you guys are always there. Thanks for always being there for me ❤️

I’m so sorry to hear that, but I’m glad our videos can help you out in any way. Thank you for supporting us - we’ll do our very best to make sure we can keep putting a smile on your face whenever possible 💛

Surprising the Sick (REQUEST)

Justin’s POV

“I don’t think you understand how shitty I feel right now,” I groaned, covering my face with a pillow. I’d come down with something a week ago and still hadn’t gone yet, and it was literally killing me. Thankfully, I had a little time off during tour due to travelling so at least I didn’t have to perform, downside was, I had to keep moving.

We were currently in England and the cold wasn’t exactly helping me out, one minute I was sweating, the next I was bundling myself in any blanket or comforter I could find.

“The best thing you can do is rest up,” Scooter said, patting my shoulder, “Call me if you need anything.” He said, standing up and exiting my hotel room.

Letting out a loud groan of frustration and pain, I face planted my pillow and pulled the comforter over my head, the dark somewhat soothing my banging headache. Someone I really needed right now was (Y/N), she knew what to do to make me feel better, even if it was just playing with my hair - couldn’t really ask Scooter to do that.

Dozing in and out of sleep, I heard a giggle. Am I hearing things? Has this headache made me hallucinate?

“Wakey wakey, sleepyhead.” I heard a female sing softly, it sounded like (Y/N). She was in Tampa right now, it couldn’t be her. My eyes were greeted with bright light, due to the comforter being pulled back, making me screw them shut, the pain intensifying.

“Baby…”

I felt hands playing softly with my hair and I opened my eyes again, slowly, to which they were greeted with my gorgeous girlfriend’s face.

“A-am I dreaming?”

“No, silly. I’m here.” She cooed, kissing my forehead. I closed my eyes at the contact and reached for her hand, “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, when I heard you were sick, I took the first flight out - it was an excuse to cuddle you a lot.” She grinned, making me smile even though it physically hurt to make any sort of expression.

“Have you taken a shower? It might help.”

“Not today,” I mumbled, running a hand through my hair, “Come on,” She said, holding her hand out, “It’ll make you feel better, I promise.”

Slowly sitting up, I let out a moan as every muscle in my body ached incredibly, my head spinning. Shuffling towards the bathroom, she turned the shower on, not setting it too cold or hot, but to a somewhat neutral temperature.

“It will definitely help to ease your headache, and I’ll give you a massage if you want, you look like you’re all tense.”

“I love you,” I smiled, removing my shirt from my clammy body, before undressing completely.

“I love you, too.”

anonymous asked:

I just saw your recent re blog and I have something to say about it. People have their own opinions on different. You can't make them keep these feelings bottled up and the person literally said it in the most polite way possible. I know this might seem rude but, how does that exactly make you feel like a shitty person? I mean, everyone has their own input on things :/

I mean, for starters, I was also being polite in my reblog.

Anyways. Having different opinions is fine, I never said nor implied it wasn’t. As for making my point, I’m not the best at arguing for myself so I asked around about why it’s something that bothers other artists i know.

Answers being on the whole,

there’s a time and a place for opinions. And you’re free to share them whenever you want, but that doesn’t mean it’s polite to. There’s a difference between expressing your opinion on your own time in your own forum versus directly toward someone when it’s not invited. Especially when it’s something so harmless and arbitrary.

Honestly, if you want to reblog something of mine only to express that you don’t like something about it, just don’t reblog it. It’s fine. I’ll be okay. And if you still feel contrary, I won’t mind if you unfollow me. I just ask that people consider what an artist can read about their own work. 

and i guess there is a personal aspect to it to where i am tired of feeling like i need to preface every meta post about sasuke with “i know he’s shitty but-” because like… idk man, i’m literally a lesbian, it’s not exactly news to me that misogyny permeates the media i consume and i don’t feel like i need ppl to inform me of his misogyny every time i say something about him as if i am somehow not capable of coming to that conclusion on my own?

and again this is just me personally but i’d rather spend energy talking about how the series as a whole is shaped by misogynistic and homophobic attitudes rather than talking about it through the lens of specific characters. there’s nothing wrong or bad about doing this but for me it’s too tiring and i find more enjoyment reconceptualizing sasuke’s character for my own self-indulgence than i do posting about how he’s bad or whatever.

So last night when I couldn’t fall asleep I was thinking about autistic!Jack. Which led me to thinking about how touch is probably a difficult thing for him, personally I really dislike a: being touched by strangers and/or b: being touched without warning. We know that Shitty is very physically affectionate with Jack, but I’m also 100% sure Shitty knows exactly how Jack feels and can tell whether what he’s doing is okay in that moment.

I bet he figured it out about two weeks into their first year on the team together, while everyone else just thought Jack was standoffish and moody. Shitty noticed that Jack tensed up when people touched him, that he avoided eye contact, that he rarely if ever initiated physical contact. He no doubt also realized that Jack didn’t want to outright say “hey I don’t like being touched” because that’d probably bring up a lot of questions he wasn’t comfortable discussing with most of the team.

So Shitty started chirping Jack in a very specific way. He’d come at him from the front, arms out, loudly declaring BRO YOU NEED CHEERING UP MAN I’M GONNA HUG YOU NOW. And it was semi-embarrassing, which was the point for the rest of the team, but it gave Jack time to accept that he was going to be hugged. As they became closer friends Shitty was able to read the little signals Jack gave off. He could tell when touching was going to be especially uncomfortable for him and instead would draw an imaginary circle around Jack and be like MR. GRUMPY IS IN QUARANTINE, DO NOT APPROACH OR YOU WILL BE INFECTED WITH THE DESIRE TO DO DRILLS AT 4AM. It’s all good-fun chirping to the rest of the team as they play along with Shitty’s antics, but it gives Jack room to breathe.

(Also I’m 99% sure this is why he hugs people on the ice, the padding makes him feel safe and protected because there’s somewhat of a barrier but he can also touch people and feel close to his team).

Touching is a lot easier with people you’re close with, and over time as Shitty became his best friend (to everyone’s bewilderment), Jack felt more and more at ease being physically affectionate with him (and obviously later on he’s happy touching and being touched by Bitty 90% of the time because it’s Bitty).

I have a lot of feelings about autistic!Jack and nearly as many feelings about Shitty being the only one who really gets it, in the first year or so at least, because he’s so good at reading people.

the best thing about talking with older desi women is when you start talking about feminist topics and they nod along and agree with you because they know exactly how it feels to want justice, to want to fight that inequality, having grown up in an atmosphere that was far more violently misogynistic than the one we’re growing up in today.

and by best thing, i mean the worst thing, because then they turn right the fuck around and say “oh well, nothing we can do about it,” and go about perpetuating the same exact shitty sexist standards that were imposed on them without even realizing what they’re doing. 

women who were activists, warriors, fucking queens – dragged down to filth by their fathers and brothers and husbands, becoming them, watching a new generation of women and not even knowing they once stood in our shoes, forgetting everything they shouted and cried for –

the compromises our grandmothers and mothers made have turned them into harsh and unforgiving women, have turned their granddaughters and daughters into bitter and resentful girls.

internalized misogyny is one hell of a fucking drug and i’m crying for everything we have lost and will continue to lose in this constant battle for equality.

H*lsey defenders are a new type of annoying, especially when they pull that “Look, I’m NOT excusing Rainbow Dash, BUT-” card because that’s EXACTLY WHAT they’re doing 


I honestly couldn’t give less of a shit how “uncomfortable” she is when she feels comfortable kissing minors and joking about it. You’re truly gross defending/excusing it with “she’s mentally ill + black” because you’re throwing mentally ill black people under the bus to protect this shitty person 

And why? WHY are you defending her? Because she’s black and mentally ill? That doesn’t excuse her shitty actions. You could be devoting this time/energy to helping/defending better people, but you’re invested in channeling it towards this mediocre light skinned whisper singer because “she speaks about issues" 

Souls

Summary: just a little something in which a sad reader becomes happy because of a special person

Pairing: character x character no names mentioned / any fandom

warnings: fluff, angst, maybe depression, happy end

a/n: this is for no particular fandom so …yeah. Also I wrote this in like one hour so sorry if its shitty 😷😰

word count : 1100-something

It was just a nightmare. No other words for that. It was just a nightmare. She repeated and repeated.

It was a big mess. A confusing feeling of not knowing what to do but at the same time exactly knowing how to go on.

It hurt. It hurt her heart. She saw it over and over. Again and again. It made living so hard. Frightened of the nights and horrified of the days. She knew every good thing that would happen to her at day, would get killed in the night. It would get destroyed and eliminated in her dreams, making her wake up in horror and shock.

There was no light at the end of the street. No rainbow behind grey clouds. No hope.

Then she met him. And she didn’t want it to happen. She didn’t want something to evolve. She knew he would get killed, over and over, every night. She didn’t want that to happen. She didn’t want to fall in love with him. But it happened.

And she cursed herself everyday for not being careful enough. For letting her feelings take over. She cursed her heart for beating. She cursed her head for not thinking. She cursed him for showing up. And once again. It was just a mess. A nightmare at the day.

She couldn’t stop him. How could she stop him ? She couldn’t do anything against him. He was so caring. And he was around her all the time. He was the first good dream she had for a while. A dream come true. And she knew she loved him. She knew it was him and no one else, but she couldn’t let that happen.

She had nightmares. He had struggle himself. Together they could’ve been Better. They could’ve been awesome. They could have scared the monsters away. They could’ve been strong together. But they weren’t. She was scared. So they weren’t strong together. They weren’t brave. They weren’t together.

She was scared and made both of them lonely again.




She walked around the streets in the middle of the night searching for nothing. Her eyes wandered over the buildings with the bright lights in their windows. She watched the rain. She watched the clouds move. She felt the cold.

She sat there in pouring rain on the grass and cared for nothing. Thinking about nothing. Feeling nothing.

It was the fear of going to sleep that made her go out.

She danced. She danced in the rain. And for the first time she felt as if there was nothing to worry about



She moved in lose motions and felt the rain in her skin. She felt light. She felt happy. For the first time in a while she felt as if she could let loose.

But now she sat on the grass the darkness of her back in her mind and the horrifying imagines in the back of her head. She held onto the memory of the dance. Onto the memories of what used to make her happy. But she knew, they drowned a long time ago, together with her hope to become the person she used to be again.

Then the memory of him came back to her, how he smiled at her. How he kissed her cheek. He came back.

And she started cursing again. She cursed herself for leaving. She cursed her herself for being selfish. She cursed her heart for not loving him more. She cursed her head for thinking. She cursed herself and everything. And she lost it.

She was angry. Angry on herself. Angry on him. Angry on the world.

When she felt herself loosing her soul. She begged her to stay. And she never felt so alone. And she begged her to lead her way. She begged her for one more thing. She asked for the strength.

But then she knew it. She was leaving. She was finally leaving her alone. And she could be herself again. The one self she used to be so long ago. The self she attempted to be again so many times. She finally knew. In that moment, she didn’t lose her soul, she lost the darkness in her soul. She lost her madness and her fear. She lost what she cursed.

She knew it was one person that made her be herself again. She didn’t believe it when they said, there is one person that changes your live. She didn’t believe it, thought it was nonsense. But it was him. She knew it was him. He made her come back. He made her feel. He made her love. He turned her into herself again.

And that’s when she realized she didn’t love him too less. She loved him to much.

And she jumped up. The blood rushing to her cheeks as she ran. Her feet slipped on the wet stones as she ran down the street. She ran and she ran.

She couldn’t breath. She couldn’t see but she didn’t care because she felt.

She felt alive and she felt herself crack. Crack at the thought of him. Crack at the thought of what it must have done to him. Crack at the thought if him having moved on.

She ran faster. Tears streamed down her face. She didn’t care. Because she felt. She felt like she could do anything. She felt like fire in the rain. She felt like a spark in the night. She felt herself. And she knew. She can do anything. She can do anything. And she ran and she ran.

Till she reached her aim. Her hair and clothes soaked wet and her face full of tears. She knocked on the door softly. She waited. And then it happened.

The door opened.

She was out if breath and freezing but he just saw all her beauty standing in front of him. For him she was surrounded by a soft glow and a smile was spread over her lips. The most beautiful he ever saw.

They both stood there in the door. And he reached out for her. Testing if she was real.



He took her hand in his and leaned in. His forehead rested on hers as both of them closed their eyes and he captured her lips in a soft kiss.

He brought both her hands into his and held on them tightly, making sure she wouldn’t disappear. Their lips moved in sync, softly showing their love for each other and the happiness they felt.

They pulled apart and she opened her eyes to look at him, a slight smile came to her lips as she wrapped her arms around his torso and hugged him tightly.

“Its me” she said with a smile. It was her. She was there.

@mytrueself

quackbpd  asked:

i see a lot of posts about boys talking about how ‘boys are so rude’ and stuff like that and it just gets me down??? i know it’s normally about actual shitty guys who act like douchebags but,, as a trans boy??? makes me feel a bit invalid and sad like ‘if i identify as a boy are people going to find me rude?? am i automatically going to be a douche??’ idk i’m basically just talking out of my ass at this point but just,,, yikes,,,

Oh my god no I get exactly what you mean!!! When I was starting to figure out that I wasn’t completely cis I started feeling like shit because I kept seeing all those posts about how boys are shitty jerks and no one likes boys and stuff like that and like I know they’re referring to straight cis white boys but seeing those posts still make me feel shit honestly

i hate when yt ppl say a bunch of racist shit n then end it w “feel free to educate me” like ????? nobodys obligated to educate u you piece of shit educate urself and stop pretending like ur giving poc some kind of grand gesture of open-mindedness by saying they “can educate you” after u just said a bunch of ignorant shit…u expect poc to be okay with u hurting them and then u want them to hold your hand and guide you through exactly how ur shitty actions hurt them in the first place, as if they owe you an explanation for ur racism. poc dont owe you shit, especially not an education.

2017 best picture nominees (part 1)

Spolier free!!!

So today I watched the first half of the best picture nominees. Here are my quick reviews of them in the order I saw them in.

Hell or High Water:
I didn’t expect to like it, but I actually really did and thought it was really good. It reminded me just how weird the south is. Had more character deaths than I expected. I liked how they didn’t try too hard to make the brothers relatable or likable and instead gave them a mission that you could root for instead of rooting for shitty people doing shitty things. I would be suprised if it won best picture, but not disappointed. Overall rating 8.5/10

Hidden Figures:
Almost exactly what I expected. More of a feel good movie than typically seen in Oscar noms about civil rights. Ending made my heart happy. Great movie about important points in black and American history. Definitely deserves recognition for telling these women’s stories, but the execution of the film itself was not best picture material.
Overall: 8/10

Hacksaw Ridge:
My favorite of today’s movies. Didn’t really know what to expect going in. It definitely wasn’t a feel good movie, but it still made me smile a lot more than I expected even in the darkest scenes. Loved the attention to detail between Desmond’s actually retelling and account of the events. Some lines were word for word. Garfield was cast absolutely perfectly for the role and even looks like the real guy. The battle scenes were shot and edited in ways very similar to braveheart.
Overall rating: 9/10

La La Land:
Very disappointed. Went in with high expectations because I love musicals, especially jazz musicals. I really wanted to love it. But it was actually kind of terrible. Was so dull and boring that it felt like it was 4 hours long. Emma Stone annoyed me in it and Ryan Gosling was hot, but had a character that just didn’t sit right with me. The only redeeming parts of the movie was the little musical theme that kept showing up as sort of “their song” which I thought was a really pretty little melody and the ending. The very last musical number was better than the rest of the movie put together. Only part that met expectations.
Overall rating : 3/10

My Mitchy...

He’s now to the point where he’s in his teenage funks. He has the attitude going on and is wrapped up in nothing but his social life.
Isn’t really into family.
He doesn’t give affection to anyone other than a girlfriend.
I miss hugging and kissing on him :/ he’s more like my own child because of our shitty childhood and lack of parents.
He listens to me just like one. Now he’s sassy and in his ways more.
My Mom spoils him to try and makeup for the bad times and when she feels guilt about the neglect for me.
I wish he would try and be close with me.
I don’t even know my Mitchy anymore. He swears constantly and just wants to be with a girl or friends.
My Dad gets so upset how he’s not all about the family and whatnot.
I understand though, we didn’t exactly grow up with that. Once the parents got divorced everything was so nasty, hateful, and awful.
The only reason I’m the way I am is because I see the world and life a bit differently.
Plus, I’m so scared of losing my loved ones.
I asked Mitchy to hangout and I hope he wants to. Sometimes I feel he avoids me because I still have the tendency to act like a parent.
I don’t mean to, but I’ve been doing it for so long it’s hard to let go. I don’t know how to be just his sister or a friend
He still listens to me and can’t stand if I’m upset with him. That won’t change hopefully.
I just miss our close relationship.
When he was scared he would crawl into bed with me or stay up and watch tv with me.
I did his hair and outfit for every picture day and school.
Made sure he had stuff for his field trips.
Stayed up late on school nights to help him with his homework.
Stayed with him when he was scared of Mom or our crazy life. Not knowing where we were or who we were with.
Making dinners and helping to pack lunches.
Fighting off any and every bully who ever looked in his direction.
Mitchy was and still is my world. Everything I do is because of him.
The reason I have that drive and passion for ones who don’t have the upper hand in this world: Mitchy
The reason I hate bullies and go wild when standing up for anyone: Mitchy
The reason I act like a Mother and think I’m further than where I am: Mitchy
He’s always been my little birdy. But now he’s my not so little birdy and doesn’t want much to do with me.
I want my birdy back under my wing :(