this is exactly how shitty i feel

-Kinetic Abilities Prompt List B Edition

Benzinakinesis - Control Gases

  • Literally, if you take one step closer I’m filling your side of the room with helium.
  • Sadly, your parents perished in a freak hot air balloon accident. I have no idea what happened.
  • Popping all those lightbulbs by expanding th egass in them looked pretty sweet but now there’s glass everywhere…

Bibliokinesis - Control Books

  • I don’t know how you somehow got into my mega-library, but you’re not getting any of these books back. They belong to me now.
  • You may have flight but I can sit on this Britannica and get where I’m going just fine.
  • There’s a reason why there’s a demand for movies to be made into books. You’re looking at them.

Biokinesis - Control Bodies

  • Nothing says professional cryptid like camouflage, mutations, and death on demand. 
  • It’s like playing an Operation game whenever I try to help somebody. There’s no buzzer though, just them screaming when I accidentally rip a tendon.
  • Sometimes, you just want to make your shitty neighbor into a rat. 

Bio-thermokinesis - Control Body temperature

  • I can’t exactly make a trip to Antarctica feel like summer vacation, but I can make it more tolerable. 
  • No thermal cameras can ever see me. But maybe I should knock out the regular cameras too…
  • Giving someone hyperthermia in a room of ice is torture enough. Have them drown themselves to quench their thirst? Dastardly.

Blennokinesis - Control Filth

  • Don’t think for one minute I wan’t bring back the black death. That’s how serious I’m being.
  • When I removed all the polution, I didn’t think people would be so eagar to make more.
  • This blu cheese is barely aged. Let me spread this mold a little more and it’ll be fit for the party.

Botanokinesis - Control plants

  • The grass are all individuals who get as much voice as trees do. I’m drowning in voices and opinions. I need to make them quiet. 
  • That’s it. I’m making it so any thrown away plant matter gets to people who need it. No more of this ‘not enough’ stuff.
  • My best friend might be a potted plant, but at least they aren’t judgemental like you are.

Brontekinesis - Control thunder

  • I’ll vibrate you so hard your organs burst and don’t even think for one second I’m bluffing.
  • No, I don’t have electricity powers. Isn’t the sound wave part cool enough for you? 
  • I made all my minions deaf before you even arrived. I wanted them to have the upper hand when I make you deaf too.

People are so mean, they’re hypocrites, they could judge everything you do, how you dress, look, say, even what you listen to. Some people are so cruel for no reason, it amazes me how certain people can act so nice to some and so shitty to others. But one thing I hate is when people judge my music taste, I mean I’m so used to people judging me, like everything I do and how I look so I already know how it feels like to get mean stares and comments but it really gets me when people judge my music. They don’t understand that music is the only thing keeping me alive. It’s always there when you need it, says exactly what you’re feeling and it doesn’t judge you. It’s my therapy and it’s my safe place. My type of music whether it be, screamo, heavy metal, alternative, post-hardcore, no matter if it’s the “Devil’s music.” No matter if people stare and tell me I shouldn’t listen to it, I will listen to it day and night because it’s the only reason I’m breathing right now.


P.S sorry for the non-band post, just feeling extra shitty today and needed somewhere to rant out and thought tumblr was a perfect place to do it. I promise to return to band post soon! Just needed to get this out! Sorry again!

Natsume’s book of friends, season 6, ep 3

So, I know these Thoughts about episode 3 of Natsume 6 are late, but  I am just. so proud of how far Natsume has come and so amazed with the show’s character development. Sometimes you forget how much Natsume has grown, because it’s happened so slowly and naturally. But then something will happen that just starkly demonstrates how much more confident and comfortable with himself he’s gotten and episode 3 of this season where he sees Shibata again really really does that. 

The fact that Natsume is able to be so openly annoyed with Shibata and bicker with him and calls him on his bullshit and doesn’t just sit there and take it is HUGE. 

Especially when you contrast it to the last episode where he interacted with him, seasons ago. Shibata said ALL KINDS of shitty things to Natsume he first arrived and Natsume didn’t really defend himself much or act annoyed about it all that much. He was scared of him- scared of him revealing his secret to his friends, scared of being bullied again and he basically slipped back into having very little confidence with himself.

 It never even crossed his mind Shibata should talk to him in a nicer way because being treated that way was still the default for him, he didn’t even feel like he deserved more respect. There was no way he would have gone  “you know what you’re not showing me very much respect and it’s super annoying” to Shibata back then.. He also seemed to genuinely think if his friends interacted with Shibata too long, they’d start treating him like Shibata did when they were kids and everything would revert to how it was when he was a kid. He felt his friendships were that fragile. 

Of course, Shibata apologized at the end of this episode and showed some understanding towards Natsume, which is partly what’s responsible for Natsume feeling less threatened by him and more comfortable with him- he has changed since they were kids and he bullied Natsume.

But I really think a lot of Natsume’s behavior in ep 3 is a testament to how much more confident and comfortable with HIMSELF he’s gotten since that episode. He’s like “yeah Shibata isn’t very nice so. that’s why we don’t really get along”, like he’s explicitly acknowledging that it’s a problem on Shibata’s end that he isn’t nice. Natsume doesn’t assume, like in the past, that it’s his fault for being weird and that people will be “not nice” to him by default, because he’s now had enough friends and loved ones care for him to know that this is NOT TRUE and people SHOULD and CAN be nice to him. 

And for him to be like “Shibata I can’t see you I’m hanging out with a friend” “Haha YOU have friends?” “yeah i sure do also screw you and do you want me to hang up” “no waitwaitwait” like can you imagine Natsume having standing up for himself like that in early seasons? He would have agreed with Shibata that it was weird he had friends. instead he’s like “YEP SURE DO AND FUCK YOU FOR ACTING SURPRISED”.

He was also comfortable enough to take Tanuma to see Shibata. He wasn’t worried that Tanuma would have a magic “oh wait I should really be being a lot meaner to Natsume like this guy is” epiphany when he interacted with Shibata he trusts Tanuma enough at this point to know he’s better than that.  In fact, he’s worried about Shibata annoying Tanuma and is alll “HEY TANUMA i’M SO SORRY WE HAVE TO MEET WITH HIM HE’S PRETTY TACTLESS IF HE ANNOYS YOU EVEN A LITTLE BIT TELL ME AND WE’LL LEAVE IMMEDIATELY OKAY SERIOUSLY JUST TELL ME”. And there’s still a little insecurity in that- he’s nervous and overly solicitous there and worried about making Tanuma will be mad at him for having such an obnoxious friend, which is ridiculous considering how chill Tanuma is- so that shows Natsume is still not COMPLETELY confident in his relationships and has a lot of the anxiety and over-attentiveness still, he’s not magically over all the effects of his abuse. 

(And how friggin’ adorable was it when Shibata was like “you look like a beanpole” to both of them and both Tanuma and Natsume immediately yelled at him on the other one’s behalf”).

And then overall he was just basically able to comfortably bicker with Shibata, demand Shibata tell him what was going and even tease him and call him a scaredy-cat, which is wow, SUCH a big step to see Natsume confident enough to comfortably do things like that.

Speaking on Tanuma, it also shows how much Natsume has grown that he basically told Tanuma immediately what was going on and took relatively less convincing this time when Tanuma wanted to help. He’s still obviously pretty nervous about burdening people. but he’s come a long way.

And this show is so good about characters actually comminicating openly and honestly- that moment where Natsume apologized to Tanuma for asking for his help and Tanuma being like “I actually really prefer knowing what you’re dealing with to being kept in the dark because that makes me worry about you way more. I actually wish you’d let me help you more, but I know that freaks you out and sends you into a guilt spiral when I push it to hard. It makes me happy you’re trusting me and even relying on me even a little bit.” LIKE WOW. A PLUS COMMUNICATION, A PLUS FRIENDING. 

Basically this show has an end-goal of showing how much better it is when people communcate and are open with their feelings, but also acknowledges that it takes real work to get to that point, especially when you’re dealing with characters who are dealing with a lot of trauma like Natsume is. But Tanuma and Natsume and the rest of his friends DO put in the work and it’s beautiful to see how that is resulting in really healthy, honest relationships where they truly consider and understand each other’s feelings and that these relationships grow and get stronger with each passing episode.

I also have to praise the development on Shibata’s part too. I was very grumpy with him his debut episode for how he treated Natsume. (not because he didn’t feel like a realistic character or that his growth wasn’t good even in that episode, just. he spent most of it being a fuck so). He did apologize, but he didn’t seem to fully grasp exactly how much hell he put Natsume through. In this episode, though, he had a lot of growth. he fully gets all the scary shit Natsume has to deal with and is horrified and genuinely does his best to help and take responsibility for his part in it and lets Natsume know “hey I know I was shitty to you and I still am a little bit shitty but I really like seeing you and don’t want to hurt you”. LIKE YES EXACTLY THANK YOU. LET’S ALL JOIN THE “PROTECT NATSUME” SQUAD. It’s honestly one of the better “reformed bully” sidestories I’ve seen.

(And Natsume realizing that he gets what Tanuma’s talking about because it also makes him happy that Shibata reached out to him and relied on him!)

BASICALLY ALL I WANT TO SAY IS. I AM PROUD OF NATSUME AND I LOVE HIM AND I’M SO GLAD HE’S BECOMING MORE COMFORTABLE WITH HIMSELF AND THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD WITH IT’S SLOW-BURN CHARACTER AND RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT AND COMMITMENT TO SHOWCASING POSITIVE GROWTH AND COMMUNICATION. I LOVE IT. SO PURE AND SWEET.

Hate To Love You

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fighting, violence, blood, inury, bad blood between Reader and Bucky, mentions of breakup

Word Count: 1087

Summary: After you and Bucky breakup you can’t stand to be apart of the Avengers any longer, choosing instead to work for yourself. However when Steve asks for your help, telling you that there was no one else he could ask you agreed to one more mission. 

A/N: I’m re posting this from my old blog, so I’m going to keep the original tag post for part 2 but if you wanted to be added just let me know right HERE !!


“There isn’t anybody else?”
“Sorry y/n, Wanda’s still in Sokovia and I couldn’t get Nat back on such short notice.”
“It’s fine, not your fault Steve,” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “What time do we fly out?”
“Zero six hundred tomorrow,” He replied, the sound of relief hanging in his voice. “Thanks for this y/n, I owe you.”
“Yeah, yeah.”

I disconnected the call, feeling my shoulders slump as I leant back on the kitchen bench, already exhausted by the thought of tomorrow’s mission. It wasn’t so much the mission itself though, it would be nice to get back into doing what I’d trained for years to do, it would be nice seeing Steve again. However I was also one hundred percent sure that Bucky would also be assigned on the mission, hence why I had a blooming headache starting already.

It had been eight months since I’d last seen or spoken to him, eight months since we broke up in a fit of shouting, tears and thrown objects. It hadn’t been pleasant and as a result I’d walked straight out of the Avengers compound, fully intending to never ever go back. I had been determined back then to get out of that business completely, find an apartment in the city and go to a normal nine to five job like everybody else. However, once something was in your life it was hard to let it go, so I found myself doing odd freelancing jobs, sometimes even for Nick Fury if he asked.
I wasn’t at all surprised that he’d passed my new number onto Steve, telling him that I would be more than happy to help him out if he needed.

Pushing myself off the bench I moved to the kitchen cabinet, pulling down a glass and the bottle of whiskey I kept for occasions such as these. Uncapping the lid I poured two fingers into the glass, swallowing them down in only two mouthfuls, the amber liquid burning as it went down my throat. I looked up at the clock as I poured out a little more alcohol. Only seven hours to take off.

-

The sound of my boots on the tarmac seemed to magnify in the quiet morning, the fog still hanging low to the ground and the sun only barely peeking out in the horizon. I took a deep breath and watched as it misted out in front of me in the frigid morning air.

“Y/n!”
I spun around at the call of my name, my eyes landing on Steve, dressed up in his Captain America suit, the cap hanging off one of his wrists. He jogged the last feet between us, bringing me swiftly into his arms, lifting me up slightly off the ground.
“It’s so good to see you!” I said with a genuine smile, having only just realized how much I actually missed him. “Eight months hasn’t changed you a bit.”
He shrugged, releasing me from his grip and standing back, his eyes sweeping over my form.
“It’s changed you though,” He chuckled. “You look good y/n.”
“Thanks,” I murmured, feeling the blush creep over my cheeks.

We were pulled from our short reunion as someone cleared their throat behind us, my eyes landing on Bucky, his jaw tense and tight.
“Mind if we move this along?” he glowered, his eyes barely sweeping over me as he turned his glare to Steve.
Steve looked like he was about to reply but I cut him off before he had the chance, my hand landing on my hip as I glared back at the soldier.
“Nice to know that hostility hasn’t left your personality James.”
“You bring it out in me,” He spat back, lips set in a thin line.

Without another word he pushed past us both, making sure that his shoulder bumped mine as he passed, the nudge causing me to stumble slightly. I glared venomously at the back of his head, my hands balling into fists at my side. At this very second the only thing I wanted to do was pull the glock from where it was resting on my side and shoot a nice hole through that metal shoulder of his.

Steve squeezed my shoulder, probably guessing my train of thought, the expression on his face filled with guilt.
“Sorry y/n,” He said. “I didn’t think he’d act quite like that.”
“What exactly were you expecting? It’s not like we ended our relationship on the best of terms,” Steve grimaced and I suddenly felt shitty for taking it out on him; he wasn’t the one acting like a total dick. “Honestly, it’s fine Steve, this is after all a job and no matter how we feel towards each other we might as well be professional about it.”

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no one else

the morning after a few too many drinks, you discover you called someone you haven’t spoken to in months, someone harry’s not too happy you contacted.

i always feel really uncomfy writing smut its just not my thing but i’m trying for you guys lmao

that said, warning: smut.

masterlist

let me know what you think

There was a soft knock at my apartment door and my friend Julia kicked me in bed, “Get the door,” She muttered, “Pro'ly your boyfriend.”

I took my time getting out of bed and Harry knocked again. I swung the door open and barely looked at him before climbing back into bed.

"Hey,” Harry said, scanning the room full of scattered alcohol bottles all at various stages of emptiness, “Heard you had a rough night.”

“Don’t talk so loud.” I said and pulled the covers over my head. I felt the bed shift as he sat down and rubbed a hand down my back. I sighed and pulled the covers down so I could see him and he was smiling slightly at me, a bit of sympathy in his eyes. “Can you hold me for a bit?”

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A Grand Scheme For Love Possibly Ruined By The Asshole K-2SO

Cassian Andor/ Reader

Words: 1,952

Summary: A little droid tells you (well, you bribed him) that Cassian has a crush on you. You have just the plan to get Cassian to tell you straight up. 

Prompt: “ Where the reader tries to make cassian jealous by accepting a date right in front of him. So that cassian could admit his feelings or something like that.”

Tagging: @kwaiky, @attentionseekingprincess, @ly–canthrope, @can-t-figure-it-out

Author’s notes: Yeah, I feel like the title is a Bit misleading but in fairness this is one of my “quirkier” fics. It’s a bit silly and over the top but like! You’ll have a good time. I’m terrible @ wrting about jealousy bc i feel like it aint healthy pero…im also jealous at times? im a hippocrates. Created a minor OMC, too. I used a Star Wars name generator to come up w/ his name lmaoo


You always had a seeping suspicion that a certain captain had a crush on you.

Captain Cassian Andor. The intelligence officer and one of the best pilots on base has a crush on you.

Asking him directly would lead him to flat out deny your claim. That’s when you decide to approach what seems like one of his only friends on base, his droid, K-2SO.

Keep reading

I submitted this about a week ago without any explanation, just the image. I thought just putting it out there would somewhat cleanse me of how it makes me feel when I look at it, but I keep scrolling back down and seeing so many reblogs and misconceptions of what this message actually meant. So I want to tell the story. 

The boy who sent me this message was my first love. I met him in my science class at school when I was about fourteen. He had chubby cheeks and brown eyes and he smoked weed and hung out at the skatepark late enough every night to worry his mum on purpose. He was friends with about three other boys who used to skateboard every day and blaze all the time and they were all really loud and really rude and they wore them ugly clunky DC trainers (I think only British people will understand the significance lol). I made friends with all of his friends before I met him because, being completely honest I had made a purposeful move to start hanging around with him and his friends because they were ‘cool’…Looking back and looking at how it all impacted my life, he was not ‘cool’ and he is the decision I regret more than anything but at the same time he made me the person I was supposed to be and I am so much stronger for it. 

I was trapped between being confused about who I was and which crowd I wanted to hang with and what direction my life should head in, and then I met him and he made the decision for me. I fell HARD, stupidly hard. I honestly look back and think it was so deep that if he told me to jump I would jump, bark I would bark. It was maaad. 

I started mixing myself up in a load of stupid shit. I was hardly at school and we always used to meet at a hole in the bottom of the huge school park and fight through the brambles and weeds to get to an abandoned mental home and sit down there for hours just laughing and play fighting and smoking. I remember we ran away from our last day before summer break and sat in the graveyard with a homeless man for the whole day, and he was telling up stories bout the hippy days when he was a kid and how he used to live in South London and take refuge in mosques when the police were after him. I could sit and tell stories forever but the point was, I kept running away from home to be with him and I basically lived at his house and we wouldn’t go to school and we used to go camping for days at a time and just get real fucked up. I was so in love that I didn’t care about anything but him, we lived about 10 miles away from each other at one point and he used to walk the journey regularly to come see me. 

This went on for about two years until he started getting into drugs reaaal bad and hanging out more with riskier people than harmless stoners he used to be with. Despite pretending I was so grown up and making lots of decisions when I was with him that a sixteen year old girl wasn’t really old enough to make, I couldn’t quite hack it. He started getting drug therapy after getting taken into the station and strip searched, they found nothing but were suspicious and admitted him to our schools addictions therapy. I was made to go to therapy sessions on his behalf after he became cold towards his therapist and the man basically told me that I was his only hope because his parents were essentially useless (he walked all over them) and his friends were pretty sketchy. I can’t tell you how many times I remember trying to nurse him back to some kind of sanity so I could take him home to his mother. 

Things started taking a turn for the worst and it is so strange because when I think about this period of my life I see it in a bleak grey in my head. It was such a dark time of my life. I want to go back and drag myself out of his house, out of his life. Ever since I was 14 I’d been sleeping with him and he had always been so rough with me and pushed my head into the pillow so I couldn’t breathe and he would slap me until I had burns all over my bum and he hurt my boobs so much they hurt for days. I literally think about being 14 years old and feeling bullied into sex like that and it makes me well up. I was once with my friend and I was watching TV with her and he had barged into her kitchen living area with two friends and started doing coke off the kitchen surface and literally dragged me out the house. It was all getting worse and worse. There was a pill going round my area a while back that really fucked you up and he took too many and I found him asleep in the abandoned mental house after about a day and a half looking for him. He was off his head one night and told me he was about to jump off a bridge near his house and I had to call his mum and send her down there because I was away with my mum at the other side of the country. The list of ridiculous stories continue… I got them coming out my ears honestly 

I still loved him so much and I sacrificed so much to look after him that I was so emotionally drained, I was always ill and weak and tired. He was manipulative and nasty but I didn’t realise until it was too late. He had said so many things to me over three years that I had drilled into my brain. He used to pin me up against walls and punch the wall next to my head until his hand bled. He was so emotionally manipulative that I was so terrified of breaking up with him because I genuinely believed I couldn’t live without him, and I had given up so much to be with him that it seemed like I had to stay by his side. He once cut open my palm in a drug induced rage and then his own and made me promise in a blood oath I would always love him. I still have the scar on my hand and it makes me cry. One day we’d had a massive fight because I told him I was sick of living like that and I wanted him to stop doing that to his life, he was so clever and kind when he wanted to be and I had faith that he could turn everything around. I’d seen the boy who he was before it all and I just hoped to tap into a different version of him.

The next week he had sex with a girl in my year that had always openly disliked me and been nasty to me. I rang him and cried down the phone, I literally just didn’t understand. He said he had 'moved on’ and that he 'loved her’. The only thing I ever received from him after that is the message I’ve submitted, he was high as fuck on some kinda drug and texted me that. Weird. 

Him and his friends tried their hardest to bully me under the orders of his new girlfriend. She turned all the girls I was friends with against me because (we were in a huge girl group of about 15 at the time and me and her really didn’t like each other and the rest of the girls were mutual friends, it wasn’t a real friendship group, they were all fake friends and when I look back it was so bitchy and toxic) But yes she turned them all against me, for the whole summer I had things screamed at me in the street and snapchat videos where the girls would say they were going to kill me and call me so many horrible names. I was sent videos of him and his new girlfriend kissing and hugging. I had a girl that I didn’t know come and try and fight me. It was hell. I watched the person who I loved more than anybody become the nightmare of my everyday. It was fucked up. FUCKED up 

It eventually all simmered down and I made new friends and rebuilt my life. I ended up getting good grades and managed to get into a good sixth form college. He failed every single exam and so did his girlfriend and his friends didn’t do very well at all, they went to a shitty college because they didn’t get into mine. !!!god sent miracle!!!! I do still love him, to be so honest with whoever (if anyone) has read this far. It has been two years and I still think about him everyday. I feel guilt saying that I love him because I know I deserve better and I am not doing myself justice by saying it. It is weird because I feel exactly how he did when he sent me this text two years ago. Life is a strange thing and it doesn’t owe you anything. I love him but I would never want him back. 

I rebuilt my life and I am such a strong soul now and I am so happy and I have such a beautiful life.  He fucked me up for such a long time but now I’m sharing this story because I’m at the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Something else my boyfriend’s brother said last night was actually kind of upsetting. I can’t quote exactly but Ill do my best:

“[Discussing rise of pagan religions and declining Christianity in mainstream media] …all I’m saying is, as a white, straight, christian, conservative male, it feels like the walls are closing in on me”

Its just… So shitty? I don’t know even how to verbalize how I feel about this, but its just so shitty that the ruling class, the predominant culture that has oppressed and assimilated millions of people in the western world, having complete control over everything is trying to play the victim card now that other cultures are finally breaking the glass ceilings that have held them back for so long.

Do you know who’s walls closed in on them? The Native Americans who were forced out of their lands in an effort to accommodate for American Imperialism.

Do you know who’s walls closed in on them? Native Africans when they were ripped from their home country and shoved in cargo holds to promote American Industry.

Do you know who’s walls are closing in on them? American Muslims and American Jews who have seen dramatic increases in violent hate crimes, LGBT Americans who have to fight for basic cultural rights, Black Americans who are literally being gunned down in the streets while their executioners get off, victims of sexual assault who are being threatened into silence by the new healthcare bill- the walls are closing in in these people.

There is no white genocide, there is no war on Christianity, there is no heterophobia, simply attempts to express other lifestyles and worldviews, and an attempt to be free from hundreds of years of straight, white, and christian being considered the norm.

anonymous asked:

What about a fic where Will thinks Nico is cheating on him with some dude he saw him with. Spying ensues, turns out it's Nico's relative from Italy. Thanks! I love your blog!

Anon 2: I really love angst and my favorite would probably cheating, so I was wondering if you could write a fic about Will cheating on Nico?

This is about Nico “cheating” because I couldn’t bring myself to make my favorite character do something so awful


Will is a very dignified man. He trusts his boyfriend. Why would he not? Nico is simply incredible, caring, kind, sarcastic, everything Will could ever possibly ask for and more. Not to mention fiercely loyal. They had been together for four years now, and Will was carrying around a little black box everywhere they went in case the right situation presented itself on one of their dates. Nico had never once made a comment about someone else that would suggest ending things with Will. In fact, he had never even commented on another person in that way at all.

So there was absolutely no reason for Will to suspect Nico of cheating on him. It should have been mathematically impossible. There was no way Nico would ever do something like that.

Well, Will was a dignified man, but sometimes Aphrodite blurred the lines a little too much for his liking.

Somehow, all of this led to where Will was, sitting in a bush just outside of a little Italian restaurant that Will knew Nico loved, watching his boyfriend laugh with a beautiful stranger that was most definitely trying to steal Nico away from Will. There was no question in Will’s mind.

The stranger looked strikingly similar to Nico, with long dark hair and coffee colored eyes, though where Nico’s eyes had flecks of gold in them, this man’s had none. He was taller than Nico, but he would still be shorter than Will when he stood, and Will took some pride in that. While Nico may badger him about his height, Will knew that Nico loved that Will could wrap himself around the smaller man when they cuddled. His skin tone was the same color as Nico’s as well, leading Will to believe that the man was also probably Italian.

Nico laughed at something the man said and Will felt a pang. They hadn’t been together long, only about ten minutes, and already the man got Nico to smile and laugh, a feat in and of itself. Nico was normally a reserved person. The mystery man had already accomplished in ten minutes what had taken Will almost a week to achieve. What hope was there for Will now?

With a resigned sigh, Will stood up and walked away from the restaurant, going home to an empty apartment.

-

“Will? Why are you sulking exactly?” Nico poked Will’s exposed stomach, and Will would’ve giggled if he didn’t feel so shitty. Nico had gone out with the mystery man twice now, and Will was still none the wiser about who he was. Not that he had asked about him. Nico had always met up with him while he was on break, which was also when Will was working. “C’mon, it’s time to leave. Its fancy dinner night, remember?”

Will groaned, sliding further down the couch. “I don’t feel like it.” How could he feel like going on a romantic date with Nico when he knew his boyfriend was seeing another man? “Why don’t you go with that guy you’ve been seeing?” Will knew he shouldn’t bring it up before dinner, but he couldn’t help himself. Nico could at least be honest ad tell him when he wanted to end their relationship.

“What are you talking about?” Nico was standing in front of Will now, and Will knew there was no backing down. He would have to admit to his spying, but he was hardly the bad guy in this situation.

“The guy you’ve been having lunch with. I saw you guys at that restaurant you love laughing and smiling.” Will sat back up, crossing his arms over.

“Hang on, were you spying on me?” Nico’s eyes were wide, and Will felt his ears grow hot. He wasn’t going to let Nico turn this on him. He didn’t do anything wrong.

“I was going to take you lunch! From your favorite restaurant! But then I saw you two having a grand ole time with each other!” Nico had the decency to look sheepish, but Will felt none of the satisfaction he had expected when he exposed Nico. Instead, he just felt cold and empty. Nico deflated, casting his gaze down at the floor.

Will expected Nico to apologize, or leave him, anything other then what he said next. “Will, he’s my cousin.”


I apologize for cutting it short, but it was getting long

I’ve been seeing posts from friends that there are people saying that philinda came out of nowhere. I find that shit hilarious. and to make it a bit funnier, some also said that Melinda Qiaolian May opening up to Phillip J. Coulson is out of character. Interesting.

So, here’s me shoving philinda down your throat because apparently that’s what season 4 does. I will not even be going to put ‘read more’ to this to shove it further. deeper. Until you gag.


Anyway..

  • Them..

Before we actually start, just so you know, Phil Coulson and Melinda May had been in each other’s history. That’s a fact.

We first saw Philinda back in season 1 during the Pilot episode. Melinda had been briefed about the group that Phil had been assembling. Words like these had been exchanged:

“and you don’t need me”
“I do, cause we’ll be running ourselves, making the ops, making the calls…”

Words that somehow showed that they already knew each other back in the day. What they were to each other wasn’t clear for us then. Phil was also reassuring Melinda that they will not have a combat op but technically, it was inevitable because by next episode, they encountered one, in which Phil Coulson specifically visited Melinda in the cockpit to apologized because it wasn’t supposed to be that. And so, we found out that she wasn’t just a pilot considering Grant Ward knew her—heard of her, whatever. She’s a Legend. Even the Fitzsimmons heard things about her. (see: Season 1 Episode 2) It was something odd because why would a freaking legend be in administration? Turns out, Phil Coulson knew the story but well not all of it. (See: Season 1 Episode 9) Boundaries and all. (see: Season 2 Episode 20).

Phil described her as always quiet, warm, fearless in the different way, getting in trouble, pulling pranks, thought rules are made to broken. (See: Season 1 Episode 9) We’ve seen those traits back in Melinda episode on season 2 and in The Man Behind SHIELD episode in our current season, season 4.  In which by the way, they’re basically a huge part of each other there.

In Melinda episode, we’ve seen that Philinda were already partners there. Melinda was married to Andrew, and they were partners. Phil was there when Melinda walked out of that building that scarred her. Phil was there to tell her to let the girl go. Melinda there was all smiley, she’s different from the Melinda that we’ve seen in past episodes. The Melinda in this was playful and impatient. She still is but it’s more obvious.

In Man Behind SHIELD episode, we’ve seen snippets of their relationship before Bahrain and before their respective relationships. Melinda even teased Phil about their first undercover job where they were married couple. In which it seems as though, this particular undercover is Sausalito that they talked about back in 2x04, where Melinda said she just took the dance pre-requisite to graduate and Phil said she wasn’t thrilled when they were assigned in Sausalito.

And then, Bahrain happened. Phil died and he was resurrected so now we are watching this damn show and you obviously meet your favs, in my case, those dumb idiots called Phil Coulson and Melinda May.

Season 1 Episode 17: Turn Turn Turn. This episode is one of the most pivotal moments for the fandom. While patching her up—in which apparently, he’s the only one who can patch her up (see S01E13) – in the episode was where the lines that are carved in every philinda fans head came from. 

“You mean a lot to me. A lot.” 

Let’s talk about “I didn’t do it for Fury, I did it for you, to protect you, I— “line first. Fury may have ordered her to do what has to be done because Fury knew that they’re inseparable. Fury trusted Melinda for Phil’s safety but he also trusted her to make the right call and he knew that Melinda will always have his back. However, Melinda didn’t go back to field because Fury asked him to but because she wanted to. Maybe there’s guilt since she’s supposed to be part of Avengers initiative (see Melinda Episode S02E17) but Bahrain happened, she wasn’t there to protect him and he died. But noticed the “I—“part there and how she stopped and changed it to “You mean a lot to me.” and to even emphasized the point she repeated “a lot” If that doesn’t tell you something then I don’t know what to say really. And to help you more, Phil did say on season 4 this line: “Her name is Melinda May and she means everything to me.”·         

  • “An open Melinda to Phil is OOC” 

FZZT Philinda End Scene, Melinda asked Phil a simple question before she said a line that engraved on every Philinda Shipper. She asked him this:               

 “Do you know how long it has taken me?” Phil nodded. 

That scene was just a small scene compared to the big “The point of these things is to remind us that… There is no going back, there's only moving forward. You feel different because you are different.” But that one scene actually show that Melinda had always been opened to Phil, in terms of feelings. Phil is her constant. We found out in Bahrain how things got shitty. And shitty is an understatement.  If you’re going to point out another type of openness? Have you watched the episode where she called him “rusty?” or that part where she actually smirked when she said she wanted the solitude? They even had a conversation in which Phil is the only one speaking while she’s doing tai-chi… like it’s the most normal thing to do for them. How open exactly are you talking about? I mean, Melinda had always been like that to Phil. Her LMD however, had no chill. 😉  


You see, they are also each other’s driving force. Not to mention, they didn’t know each other in the framework but they immediately trust each other.

What they have is loyalty, trust, friendship and deeper understanding of each other. There are signs all over the place that points out that they have something for each other. Have you seen May’s face when she thought Phil’s gone? Have you watched the sigh of relief every fucking time she figured out that he’s not dead? Where were you when Phil said “it’s like you never left?”, “i lost my right hand too?” or that moment when he prioritized her than the president? It’s been there all along. Out of nowhere? yeah right…

And really, no matter what points I say in this, in which, I basically missed probably more than half of it… but yeah, It’ll be hard to notice their subtlety back in season 1, 2, and 3 especially when you’re too focused on something else and not them. Only this time they were given this huge amount of acknowledgement because they are both finally healing. And just like what the writers and exec prod said, they’re finally giving this two a chance because it seemed like they sidelined them a lot.. that alone is already a point that Philinda had always been there. Melinda May and Phil Coulson already had something way before season 4. So if you do not know Melinda May or Phil Coulson or Philinda.. then, just rewatch the damn show. Have a good day! 

ps.. to those who were saying that Melinda May has no feelings and all that other non-emotion ice queen crap.. this is from season 1 episode 1: (the woman shows her emotions to people who are worthy of it.)

Take It Out On Me (Grayson Dolan x Reader)

Summary: Based on ‘Take It Out On Me’ by Florida Georgia Line and this request.

Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, slightly dom!reader/sub!Grayson, swearing.

A/N: I missed writing Grayson while doing the Ethan miniseries, so I decided to write this but it came out much worse than I wanted it to, sorry :/ ps 2015 Grayson can fuck me up ^

Keep reading

Sketch to accompany the DEH fic “Look Your Best When You Feel Your Worst”, because Connor Murphy in a wedding dress is exactly what this fandom needs right now. You can find the fic under no_homo_hansen’s works on ao3.

Side note: I apologize for how sketchy and shitty this is, I just wanted to get it posted ASAP because I took way longer than I said I would to do it :(

anonymous asked:

I wasn't around when Acchan was constantly center but did people still get annoyed at her being center all the time? Because right now, I am pretty annoyed at how they (Jurina and Sakura) are literally being shoved down our throats. I know that they are supposed to be the future of the 48G but I feel bad for all the AKB members who were originally called the next gen ace.

Atsuko’s famous line, “Even if you hate me, please don’t hate AKB48″ doesn’t come out of nothing. She had tons of haters right because she was the most popular one - actually, the most popular one together with Oshima Yuuko. I’m pretty sure some of Yuuko’s supporters couldn’t stad her right because of that reason. Shimazaki Haruka was “originally” called next gen ace, too. The first period of her pushing, which worked exactly as Sakura’s right now (I feel like Jurina’s pushing has never truly stopped since day one, tbh), I can’t even name you how many people were constantly throwing shit at her and calling her bad names. They even called her “useless”.  There even was a Paruru-anti blog here on tumblr which posted awful and shitty things about her. 
The reason why both Sakura and Jurina are being so much pushed, and constantly “shoved down our throats” is because, clearly, they sell good. They’ve got thousands of fans, they manage to get more and more people to like them in a very short time. If other members were able to do that, I’m sure management would start/go back to push them, too. Back at the time of Shimazaki’s push, that’s exactly how it worked. She sold very good, many people got super into her salty-yet-super-cute-character. I got fished by her too at the time. Management pushes only girls they think can work well, girls who they think can bring into more and more fans, which will of course mean more and more money to them. If Mukaichi Mion can’t do that, if anyone else can’t do that, then they’ll try with someone else until they get another Matsui Jurina or another Miyawaki Sakura. That’s how it works. That’s how it has always worked.

anonymous asked:

lol @all the people mad at Mel. people really expect her to trash mon-el? homegirl knows that's a bad move. I also don't think she or Chris really understand why the karamel relationship sucks ass. & mon-el is for sure gonna be having an improvement in behavior and shit to make him seem like a redeemed puppy so the writers can just swipe his ugly ass past behavior under the rug. writers gonna want "antis" to forget why they hated him in the first place. then it'll seem like he was only bad in s2

Exactly. 

If Melissa did notice the shitty undertones early on (and I say undertones because people really don’t realize how bad Mon-El’s actions come off if it isn’t pointed out to them) then she’s probably just relieved that Mon-El is getting better.

Like… This! Is! Her! Job! And not just in a “She can’t say how she really feels” way.

It’s that she can’t feel what she really feels.

She has to step into this role every day. She has to understand her character and feel what Kara feels. So of course she’s going to try to forget the things that annoy her.

And she’s dating Chris Wood! Like what do you expect? Her to say his character is terrible to her character?

She’s gonna try to look on the bright side of this relationship, and so far she’s come up with like… 

“It’s good for Kara’s advancement as a woman to have a serious relationship.”

Which wasn’t even like… about Mon-El. It was like ‘oh she should probably have relationship experience so that’s good.’

But if Mon-El sticks around, he’s only gonna get better, and Melissa is eventually gonna say “he’s good for her.” 

Because at that point, they’ll probably write it to be so.

And she’s gonna try to forget about the reasons Kara shouldn’t be with him because?? no one likes to suffer????? Let her be.

So I just got an ask by anon saying: Why is your forehead humongous? And I deleted it because well, I don’t need that shit right now.

But it got me thinking, why do people do this?? Why do people point out others flaws? Is it to make them feel like shit (because congratulations that’s exactly what you did if that was what you wanted) Is it to remind them of said flaw?

Oh! I have an Idea! How about instead of you know pointing out said flaw, you just shut up and not say anything!? Wow look at that! No one got hurt and your shitty opinion stayed in your head like it should’ve!

The reason I am so angry about this is because I have been bullied because of said feature, been the butt of a joke because of it and it has been used as a way to attack me as a person and make me feel like shit. So pointing it out like that not only brings back bad memories, daunting memories actually. But makes me feel so awful and self concious about myself which I seem to always be struggling with.

So Dear Anon;
I hope you’re happy.
Because you have single handedly just made a very self-conscious teenage girl even more self-conscious because of that one comment. Congratulations.

anonymous asked:

i'm so sad because i love pidge ships but i'm afraid to reblog any of them because of how people are about it.

SIGHS I KNOW BUDDY I KNOW it’ll never NOT be disheartening how passionate people get about refusing to let her be romantic with anybody in ANY context ): they always say it’s for the sake of protecting children but tbh more often than not in this shitty misogynist NIGHTMARE of a fandom it almost always comes off as “butch girls/gender non-conforming people don’t deserve to be loved” ya feel?

Hate To Love You

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Breakups, hostility between reader and Bucky, nasty words, swearing, fighting, violence, blood, injuries 

Word Count: 1087

Summary: When you and Bucky broke up you swore you were done with that life, however when Steve rings asking for your help, telling you that there was no one else he could ask you agreed to one more mission. What could wrong? 

A/N: Feedback appreciated. 

Tagging: @turnmyheaphonesuprealloud @poemwriter98


“There isn’t anybody else?”
“Sorry y/n, Wanda’s still in Sokovia and I couldn’t get Nat back on such short notice.” 
“It’s fine, not your fault Steve,” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “What time do we fly out?” 
“Zero six hundred tomorrow,” He replied, the sound of relief hanging in his voice. “Thanks for this y/n, I owe you.” 
“Yeah, yeah.”

I disconnected the call, feeling my shoulders slump as I leant back on the kitchen bench, already exhausted by the thought of tomorrow’s mission. It wasn’t so much the mission itself though, it would be nice to get back into doing what I’d trained for years to do, it would be nice seeing Steve again. However I was also one hundred percent sure that Bucky would also be assigned on the mission, hence why I had a blooming headache starting already.

It had been eight months since I’d last seen or spoken to him, eight months since we broke up in a fit of shouting, tears and thrown objects. It hadn’t been pleasant and as a result I’d walked straight out of the Avengers compound, fully intending to never ever go back. I had been determined back then to get out of that business completely, find an apartment in the city and go to a normal nine to five job like everybody else. However, once something was in your life it was hard to let it go, so I found myself doing odd freelancing jobs, sometimes even for Nick Fury if he asked.
I wasn’t at all surprised that he’d passed my new number onto Steve, telling him that I would be more than happy to help him out if he needed.

Pushing myself off the bench I moved to the kitchen cabinet, pulling down a glass and the bottle of whiskey I kept for occasions such as these. Uncapping the lid I poured two fingers into the glass, swallowing them down in only two mouthfuls, the amber liquid burning as it went down my throat. I looked up at the clock as I poured out a little more alcohol. Only seven hours to take off.

-

The sound of my boots on the tarmac seemed to magnify in the quiet morning, the fog still hanging low to the ground and the sun only barely peeking out in the horizon. I took a deep breath and watched as it misted out in front of me in the frigid morning air.

“Y/n!”
I spun around at the call of my name, my eyes landing on Steve, dressed up in his Captain America suit, the cap hanging off one of his wrists. He jogged the last feet between us, bringing me swiftly into his arms, lifting me up slightly off the ground.
“It’s so good to see you!” I said with a genuine smile, having only just realized how much I actually missed him. “Eight months hasn’t changed you a bit.”
He shrugged, releasing me from his grip and standing back, his eyes sweeping over my form.
“It’s changed you though,” He chuckled. “You look good y/n.”
“Thanks,” I murmured, feeling the blush creep over my cheeks.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Heya! I was wondering if i could req a scenario for kuroo, oikawa and semi where their s/o kinda ignores the crap out of her birthday b/c she really doesnt like it. She's had some shitty experiences with her bday in the past; people either completely forgot or didnt bother and now she feels like she doesnt matter

This is a coincidence that I would be answering this the day before my own birthday, especially when I’ve been driving my boyfriend crazy about how I don’t want to do anything for it this year.

Enjoy!


He had asked her every day for the last month and got the same answer every time:

“I don’t really wanna do anything for my birthday.”

Kuroo wasn’t exactly happy with this answer, especially considering this day was to celebrate the life of someone he cared very deeply about. And a celebration of life was never something someone should just not do anything about.

It had taken quite a bit of begging on his part in getting her to come along with him. She complained the whole time, questioning where they were going and what they were doing, because, “come on, Tetsu, I have homework to do.” But he ignored it all, told her that they were almost there and that it was important. And it was one hundred percent completely worth it when she walked through that door to the room beyond.

The sweeping streamers and balloons that littered the space caught her attention first, then there was the wave of people that had made themselves present with a roar of ‘happy birthday!’ that caused her to press back into Kuroo’s chest. He laughed, his hands rising to link his fingers with hers. She looked shocked - which was the point, really - but she wasn’t saying anything at all in response. Like, anything?

“You like?” he questioned lightly, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“This is the first party that’s be thrown for me,” the words were small, surprise still carried in her tone as she finally drew her eyes away from their shared group of friends to him.

All he could do was smile and swoop to press their mouths together, ignoring all the ooh’s and whooping from the others in the room. “Better get used to it.”


Oikawa didn’t care what she said about not doing anything for her birthday, he wasn’t just about to let this day slip by like any other. He had been thinking about what to do for weeks now, trying to find the perfect gift for someone who brought so much happiness to his life. Was there really a single thing out there that he could put all of his feelings into?

Finally, he grew quiet about it, she wasn’t going to be providing him with much help anyway, not when she wasn’t expecting anything. He planned silently, bombarding only Iwaizumi’s ears because he was the only one who could keep a secret out of them. Because he wanted it to be a surprise, wanted them to realize that they were important enough for this kind of recognition on the anniversary of the day they were brought into this world.

So when he had walked into that classroom with the biggest bouquet of her favorite flowers that he could find, he was quite pleased with the more than shocked look that rewarded him with. Walking straight up to her, he handed them to her, grinning widely as she took them with her jaw dropping open to say something, but he was speaking first. “Happy birthday, love,” he spoke softly as he pressed a rectangular box onto the surface of her desk and opening it to reveal the silver necklace. “It’s soundwaves,” he explained when he saw her brows furrow slightly at the sight of the grouping of sharp angles, “‘I love you.’”

While she wasn’t able to speak then, she would later tell him how she had never received anything so beautiful in her life.


The surprise on her face when she found Semi at her door was everything. He smiled at her, hands pressing a single flower - her favorite - into her hands. She turned to him, the question of why he was there was on her lips, but he was speaking first. “Better get ready,” he told her, enjoying how her brows furrowed, “ we have places to be.”

It was then she noticed how nicely he was dressed, the slacked pants, the pressed shirt. Giving a smile of her own now, she invited him in while she ran upstairs to ready herself. She had been the one to tell him that her birthday was just like any other day and while he had objected on the spot, he didn’t fight her very hard. Since then, he had been quiet about the subject, choosing to keep his plans quiet in order to avoid her further protesting.

“Where are we going?” she asked, descending the stairs nearly an hour later as she pushed an earring into her lobe, purse tucked under her arm.

Semi smiled, leaning to finally kiss her before taking her hand. “Be patient,” was his simple answer before they were making their way out the door.

His plan unfolded slowly throughout the night. A dinner out - nicer than any place they had gone before - followed by a small concert of street performers on their way to their next destination. There they were able to sit in a wide expanse of grass, his arm and a blanket wrapped around her, their eyes towards the sky as glittering stars above them flew through the sky. Really, most of the night was just coincidence. He had planned on the dinner and stargazing. The band and the meteor shower that came along with them were something he felt he was being graced with and he wasn’t about to deny it if she had given him credit.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek, body snuggling closer. “This is the greatest birthday ever.”

Friends to Lovers w/ Ten
  • k so
  • i’m sorry if this is really shitty okay
  • idk how to do this exactly???
  • like, i’m gonna try my best k anon
  • bUT I’M SORRY
  • also it’s 1:17 am right now and yeah
  • my brain feels stupid i’m sorry 
  • let’s start right away
  • soooooo
  • both of you meet in highschool probably
  • like you went to the same class but you never talked to each other
  • but you always felt lowkey interested in him you know
  • you loved how he would always be dancing and talking in every class
  • he was really talented and you could tell that he was really dedicated
  • i mEAN DID YALL SEE HIS PREDEBUT VIDS WERE HE SINGS AND RAPS AND DANCES
  • HE LEAVES MY ASS IS SHOOK
  • even with his tragic predebut pics
  • and he only knew a few things of you
  • like the subjects you’re the best at and who your closest friends were
  • but let’s talk about how you started to be bffs
  • so, once you had to do those grupal proyects where the teacher is the one who decides the groups right
  • god i h8 those lmao
  • but long short story, you did most of the work bc his lazy ass was just making of your project a mess
  • and he would just spend his time talking with you about him, and mostly his passions and dreams
  • and the reason why he started liking you was because you would always listen to him carefully and would believe in him
  • so yeah, he had a crush on you <3
  • and you low-key had one with him too
  • i mean, we’re talking about ten chittaphon leechaiyapornkul here
  • but any of you confessed
  • why?
  • do yall remember that moment in nct life in bangkok when his teacher said that he wasn’t interested in girls bc he only cared about follow his dreams
  • well that happened
  • and yall knew about this!! and he would appreciate that you prefered him to follow his dreams over staying just for you
  • “when you are in korea, please don’t forget about me, okay?~~”
  • “forget the person who believes in me more than anyone? never!”
  • he was so caring and sweet towards you even when he was a lil baby aw
  • and he never ever forgot about you!
  • even once he was in there he would make sure to never forget to text you or call you everyday
  • and when he did, the next day you would have like a hundred of messages from him apologizing
  • but you didn’t care bc you knew that it was because of how tired he was bc of the practices and stuff
  • my heart suddenly is in pain
  • i have the most hardworking baby as a bias i love him
  • and when he told you that he was going to debut you planed everything
  • you would go to korea and surprise him and congratulate him with hugs and kisses
  • and everythings was working out well until there was this day when he randomly got a text from you
  • “ten? hey so guess what loser, i came to korea yesterday to surprise you but this is city is so big and i’m lost and scared and can you help me a little here pls”
  • lmao
  • bUT BUT BUT HE GAVE YOU THE WARMEST HUG WHEN HE SAW YOU AND HE INVITED YOU TO THE DORMS AND YOU MET THE REST OF NCT
  • you couldn’t say nothing in korean so yeah, it was really awkward when the other members tried to talk with you in thai lmao
  • jaemin flirted with you in thai the whole time lol
  • but you guys had so much fun!!
  • and everything happened in like a month or so
  • and when he realized that he was still in love with you he was so surprised with his own feelings
  • but he wasn’t going to lose you one more time, forget about it
  • but he didn’t confess until like three days before you had to go back to thailand
  • “you know what y/n? i really missed you, and, i missed having all this feelings again, you know?”
  • “feelings?”
  • “you know, before coming here i had the biggest crush on you, and being by your side always bringed me so much happiness. without you i feel empty”
  • and your heart was beating so fast
  • “i-i liked you too and, i-i think i still do, actually”
  • and he smiled at you witht hat wide and beautiful smile of his, he got closer to you and jfc i swear i’m dying
  • “i though that it was something from the past but, it’s not, my heart still races when i saw you and i still have so many strong feelings for you”
  • he grabbed your hands and played with them
  • and you were completly in blank, his touches only were making you more flustered and fuck why does he have to be so perfect i hate him
  • but you were also like boi i have to go back to other country in like three days don’t say all of this to me noW
  • “please, stay here with me, y/n. i can help you with korean and you can stay in the dorms w me for a while but~~ don’t leave, princess”
  • damn it was a hard decision but guess who’s living in korea now lmao
  • anD WHEN YOU SAID YES THOUGHHHHHHHHHHH
  • he hugged you and spined you around and omg he was so happy an smiley
  • “i won’t let you down y/n, you’ll have a great time here i promise”
  • i’m so soft rn i need to sleep
  • bye babies i hope yall like it
  • even tho it’s really shitty i’m sorry
Pillow Talk {SnowBaz}

idk i just got this idea!! sorry the title is dumb and the formatting is kinda weird but i hope u like it :) 


“Baz?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I ask you something?”  
“You just did.”
“Ha-ha.”
Baz sighed. “Ask away. I’m an open book.”
         

        He was lying on his back, one hand toying with the string of warm yellow lights that was strung across Simon’s bedroom wall, the other rubbing circles in Simon’s palm. It was late, and both of them were on the brink of sleep, having just used a significant amount of energy. Baz was beyond thankful for “Clean as a whistle”, because he was far too exhausted to get up to shower. Not to mention, it was impossible to leave Simon’s bed once he was in it - it was just a queen sized mattress on the floor tucked into the corner of his wall, but it was ridiculously soft, and Simon had shockingly good taste in decorating despite having a low budget.
      

        “You said a while ago that you had feelings for me for years.” Simon began. Baz raised an eyebrow at the ceiling. “Yes, and?”

         Simon hesitated. “Well…I was just wondering. How exactly did it happen? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not holding a secret grudge or anything. It’s just that, to be honest, you were pretty shitty to me. No offense." 

   Baz snorted. "None taken." 

   "But really. When did it happen?”

       Baz sighed again and shifted to face Simon, the small smile on his face illuminated by the lights on his wall. “Let’s see,” He began, thoughtful. “First year, I despised you, through and through. You were everything I was taught to stand against. I was trained to hate you before I even met you. Making you miserable was a very satisfying pastime.”

      “Wow, thanks,” Simon pouted. Baz rolled his eyes and continued.
“Second year, I felt esentially the same. You were still my enemy, I still wanted you gone. Although, I did notice this,” He touched the mole on Simon’s left cheek lightly. “I was appalled when I realized I wanted to kiss it. So, naturally, I slapped it instead.”
       

         Simon furrowed his brow. “That really hurt. I was red for days.” Baz smirked, not a hint of remorse in his eyes. Clearly, it had happened long enough ago for him to be amused by it rather than ashamed.
      

       "Third year I started to really…look at you. I started to notice little things about you - how you ran your hands through your hair when you were anxious, how frequently you got lost in your thoughts, how much you cared about things. You wouldn’t let anything go. It was infuriating, really. I didn’t know how to deal with it.“

      "So you pushed me down a flight of stairs.” Simon deadpanned. 

“Exactly,” Baz affirmed, grinning. He really doesn’t feel bad about any of this, does he? Simon thought, somewhat bitter.

         "Fouth year was even more difficult. You know how puberty is. Lot’s of confusing emotions, lots of self loathing. I hated how I felt about you, but at the same time…I liked it. As miserable as you made me, you also made me - how do I explain this? You made me strangely happy. I guess you don’t really love someone if they don’t light up something inside you.“

      Although part of Simon wanted to laugh at the sappiness of those words, he couldn’t help the tight, fluttery sensation he got in his stomach every time Baz said he loved him.

      "Fifth year…fifth year was the worst. That was when I really realized how I felt. When I’d sneak off to the catacombs, it wasn’t because I was planning the apocolypse. I was trying to sort out what the hell was going on in my head. It was difficult enough as it was, and you didn’t really help by following me like a lost dog.” Simon frowned, somewhat guiltily, but Baz just laughed softly and pulled him into his chest.

        “Actually, I take that back. Fifth year wasn’t the worst. Six and seventh year were - they were unbearable. I was sure I’d get over you, that it was just momentary attraction, but the more time I spent with you, the more intense it got. It was painful to hear you cry at night; I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell you to shut up, or go to you and do my best to comfort you. Those two years…I wanted you so badly, I didn’t think I’d live through it. Even if you hadn’t been planning on killing me, I think the pain of not having you would have been enough all on it’s own.”

      “Baz…” Simon murmured. He couldn’t help but feel remorse for how everything had happened, even if there wasn’t much he could have done. Even if Baz was being a complete arse, Simon still didn’t like to think about how badly he must have felt.

      “You know most of what happened in eighth year. Although…”
“What?”

         "I didn’t…I never really told you about when I was kidnapped. Mostly because it was fucking humiliating that I was kidnapped by numpties.“ Baz scoffed. "But the truth is, it really was…difficult. Extremely difficult. They kept me in a coffin for six weeks. I only saw light once every few days, when they gave me blood. It was a tremendous task to keep myself from going completely insane.” His voice was grim, Simon wondered if it still bothered Baz more than he let on.
 

       Are some of his nightmares about the weeks he spent in that coffin? Probably. Simon didn’t like the thought of it.

       "The only thing that kept me from losing it…It was you, Simon.“ Simon looked up at Baz, surprised. Baz smiled at him somberly. "I thought of you, when it became unbearable.” He paused. “Not in a perverted way, mind you,” He smirked. “although, over the summer between fifth and sixth year, well…” Simon turned slightly red, and Baz was thankful he hadn’t hunted lately, because he probably would have as well. Instead, he just laughed quietly.

       "Anyway,“ He sighed dismissively. "There you have it. A brief history of the years I spent pining for Simon Snow at Watford School of Magicks.”
Simon bit the inside of his cheek, unsure of what to say.

      He settled on tightening his arms around Baz’s torso, burying his face in his chest and whispering a quiet, “You have me now." 

     Baz squeezed him in return and smiled, resting his chin atop Simon’s head.

"I know,” he murmurred. “It frightening how happy that makes me. Sometimes I’m afraid it’s not real, or that it wont last.”

“It is. And it will. Promise.”

     Baz was quiet. Then, he said the truest thing he could think of;
“I’m hopelessly in love with you, Simon Snow.”

Simon responded silently, with his lips.