this is endlessly hilarious

Okay, Mick Rory and Harley Quinn BroTP headcanons:

  • he hardly ever calls her Harley, it’s ‘Pigtails’ and Harley fucking loves it
  • as in, “Hey Pigtails, Snart and I are knocking over a bank, you and Rash wanna come?”
  • Rash is Ivy’s nickname, due to the fact that she gave Snart one the first time they all met, and he finds it endlessly hilarious even though Snart has told him Not to Talk about it
  • has offered to roast Joker alive and provide marshmallows for s’mores while he does it
  • you know those chocolate bars that have chili powder inside? Mick and Harley held up one of they delivery trucks and all of those chocolate bars are THEIRS now
  • is one of the few people Harley can really trust and open up to, and her psychiatrist background helps him work through issues
  • the Legends crew is in Gotham and Harley and Sara are ready to fucking throw down when Mick steps in between and tells them both to knock it off
  • “they’re cool, Pigtails.” “that one’s looking at me like ‘m crazy.” “you are, but cool it, Haircut.”
  • when Snart came back and showed up in Gotham again after his supposed death, Harley hit him really hard with a mallet
  • “ow, Harls!” “how DARE you leave your common-law husband like that and leave him all worried! I TOLD you guys that I do couples’ counseling!”
Addressed to One Mrs. William Donovan

fandom: ars paradoxica

ship/characters: the donovans, leslie groves, chet whickman, assorted residents of polvo

words: 5285

for my dear @dunnetwins

notes: spoilers for all of season 1 of ars paradoxica. this fic requires so many notes, apologies to everyone at aP, the real people this fic is based off, and aP fans who are gonna be like ??? when they see this ksdljflg IM SORRY.

1. there are real ppl in this fic, but they are not portrayed at all like their real selves. i’ve messed with history Big Time. my deepest apologies to these people. and to anybody reading: please ignore reality. gwen groves is leslie groves’ second child, but for this story i swapped her and her brother’s birth order. bill donovan has been aged down, because i really dont think a 62 year old man could get hit by a car and be That Okay, or, frankly, live to 93. he’s been aged down probably too much to be realistic but. age gap.

2. where did this even come from? you may be wondering. during my first listen-through of aP, i was completely drawn in by bill’s 26th tape in ep 10i, when he tells himself to just ‘tell her what she means to you’. then, in my relistening of the show, sally briefly mentions bill donovan’s wife in episode 3. this threw me and my friend into Full On Conspiracy Mode and this story is the result of two possible explanations we came up with

3. nobody called leslie groves leslie. i dont know why. his family calls him DNO (deeno) and people who knew him well called him dick

4. i didn’t actually know bill donovan was a real person when i first started writing this

ok. i think that’s all. oh my gosh. will i ever write something for aP thats not super weird and niche? probably not. will we ever have enough aP fic for my niche fic to fall into the niche cracks? hopefully one day!

Ostensibly, Gwen Donovan’s place of residence was in Philadelphia, where her husband had been stationed since America had joined the war, working with the Navy. In reality, she’d only lived there with him for a few months before he moved her to his house in Polvo, New Mexico, a town no one knew existed save for the people living in it and, she assumed, high-ups like the President.

Ostensibly, Gwen Donovan knew her husband was there because of Lambert and Maraczek. She was never told otherwise, but she knew from the beginning there was something much bigger going on.

Ostensibly, Gwen Donovan was told a lot of things, but simple observance and common sense told her otherwise almost every time.

[read on ao3]

Cute Lil' Things I Love About Each Sign
  • Aries: when you get frustrated with everything and you're just like FUCK THIS - same bby same
  • Taurus: how you're so quiet sometimes and then you talk and you're like hilarious
  • Gemini: when you realize you've been endlessly rambling and do a cute smile
  • Cancer: how caring you are when it comes to friends & family
  • Leo: your confidence when you've wearing a cute outfit and you know you cute
  • Virgo: how you have that particular way you like to do things, it's adorable
  • Libra: laughing randomly at things in your head- I feel u qt.
  • Scorpio: how you get jealous when anyone talk to your crush and sit there pouting- aw bby.
  • Sagittarius: how you're kinda weirdly enthusiastic about almost everything- makes me happy.
  • Capricorn: you get addicted to shit like candy crush, tv shows and stuff - wow that is dedication
  • Aquarius: how you just say random things and laugh to yourself- ADORABLE.
  • Pisces: you have this pout that you do when people tease you- lemme hug you my lil bby

tagged by @boleynqueens thank you!💖

Five things you’ll find in my bag
-EOS lip balm
-extra pads
-hair ties
-my glasses just in case

Five things you’ll find in my bedroom
-a lot of oil paintings I’ve done
-this vase my grandma gave me that’s filled with shells and coins (bail money for whichever of my brothers in jail first)
-a bed that takes up most of my room with a purple floral duvet (my room is low key a closet)
-a bookshelf filled with books
-sweaters thrown everywhere

Five things I’m into at this moment
-six of crows
-banana bread
-the raven cycle (as always)
-star wars

Five things on my to-do list
-finish my french homework
-walk my dog
-study for an English quiz
-study for the SAT (fetus club)
-laundry probably

Five things people don’t know about me
-I have two older brothers and two younger half brothers (and four step siblings)
-I’m double jointed in all of my fingers
-My favorite place in the world is in South Oregon
-I’m 5'6" yet people still think I’m tall
-my aunt once gave me a family tree tracing back to the Plantagenets

@the-sums-not-counted @writing2much @manbunjon @margarettudor and whoever want to do it can say I tagged them!

I dont think I’ve ever been put in such a weird situation with a ship before.

Like 95% of the interest I have in this ship was generated by their Abridged versions. Resulting in me shipping THOSE VERSIONS of these characters. (Because its hilarious. And endlessly entertaining. And at times sweet like how is that possible literally what the fuck I have no idea what to think about this.)

Its very bizarre. 

Either way its almost 6 am. Ive been up a long time. Im very tired. I started drawing yugioh characters with pony tails and didnt want to stop. I started drawing this and liked it and I wasn’t having a lot of trouble and I liked how things were turning out. Ill just leave it here so i can regret it tomorrow. 


Kinda sorta inspired by @judylavernehopps‘s post here.

Contains some strong language and suggestive sin.

The light came on with a click, and Eddie Highspott winced at its harshness. He tried to shade his eyes with a paw, but found them unable to reach that high, stopped by a force that dug into his wrists. Looking down, he saw that he was cuffed to the table he had been seated at only a second ago.

“Wh-Whuh?” he stammered. “How did you-”

“My partner’s got quick feet,” came a voice from beyond the light. “Didn’t want you trying anything funny.”

“Your partner…?” Eddie squinted, trying to adjust his eyes, and slowly the form of the voice’s owner took shape.

The fox sitting across from Eddie had his legs crossed and propped up on the table, so that his feet were practically in Eddie’s face. He stretched his arms and folded his paws behind his head as he leaned back in his seat. Using the heel of his foot to teeter the chair back and forth on its back legs, he gave Eddie a sly grin, his half-lidded green eyes regarding the hyena with humor.

“She’s over there,” he said, nodding to Eddie’s right. “Say ‘Hi,’ Fluff.”

“Fluff” did not say “Hi,” but Eddie was introduced to her very well anyway, as he needed only to turn his head a fraction before realizing that his face was perhaps two inches away from that of a rabbit’s. Like the fox, she was seated with one leg crossed over the other, but instead of being seated at the end of the table, she had chosen to rest on what looked to be a sizable stack of textbooks, positioned just next to the hyena on the table. Hence, the reason she was close enough to startle him when his head turned.

“Jeez, lady!” he cried, flinching back as far as his cuffs would allow. Looking the bunny up and down, however, he felt his confidence return almost immediately. With a smirk, he said, “What, is this a joke?”

“Mm, afraid not, Eddie,” the fox said, sitting up straight. “See, you’re here because Officer Hopps and I need some information on the little vandalism problem that’s been troubling the fine folks living in your neighborhood.” He reached to his right and slid a manila folder in front of Eddie. “I’m gonna show you a few pictures, and all you have to do is answer my questions for me. Then, we’ll let you go. Sound easy?”

“What pictures?” the hyena grunted, not bothering to even question how the fox knew his name. His eyes flickered to the bunny on the book stack every few seconds. Her eyes stayed glued to him, and the glare she wore on her face, despite being that of a bunny, began to unnerve him.

The fox flipped the folder open and spread out several pictures in front of Eddie. He pointed at the first one, a shot of a graffiti-ridden wall. He tapped on the corner of the photo, indicating the image of Eddie himself, leaning against the wall. He asked, “This is you, right?”

Eddie sneered at the fox and replied without looking at the photo, “I don’t know. Picture’s blurry.”

The bunny beside him coughed to get his attention, but before she could do anything else, the fox held up a paw to stop her.

“Easy, Carrots, I’ve got this.”

At this, the hyena snorted. “’Carrots?’” he repeated, letting out a wheezing chortle. “You call her ‘Carrots?’”

“That’s right, Eddie, I do. Only I do.” He gestured to the next photo. “Now, if you could-”

But Eddie wouldn’t let it go. “What kind of a name is ‘Carrots?’”

“The nickname kind of name, the kind that friends like to use for one another, and trust me, bud, you and Carrots here are definitely not friends, so I’d suggest you quit it with the yucks and help me figure out what’s going on in these photos we’ve got here-”

“I ain’t helping you with any pictures, Fox.” Eddie leaned back, giving the fox a slimy grin. “And I sure ain’t helping your little bunny, either.”

The fox stared at him for a moment, looking more bored than annoyed with his uncooperative behavior. Then he sighed and slid the pictures back into the folder.

“Alright, listen,” he said, pulling the folder away from Eddie and towards himself. He leaned forward, paws folded on top of the folder, and continued, “There’s a lot we need to get through, and I don’t have the time to play any games, so I’ll make you a deal. You give me the info that I know you know, and she’ll stop doing it.”

Eddie frowned. “Doing what?”

The fox smiled, and his eyes flickered to the bunny. Without uttering a word, she uncrossed her legs, raised one of them up, and, channeling all of her strength into her leg muscles, brought it down against the back of Eddie’s head, slamming his muzzle into the unyielding metal of the table with a loud crunch.

The hyena yelped as pain exploded in his nose and through the whole of his face. His vision flashed pure white, then fizzled out into splotches of dull colors before the world around him came back into view. He reached up to massage his muzzle and check to see what damage the bunny had done, only to find himself yanked by the collar of his jean jacket so that he and his attacker were face-to-fearful face. Staring into her fiery violet eyes, he felt something deep in his gut that he’d never believed a bunny would have inspired in him: pure, primal terror.

“Listen here, you punk,” the bunny snarled. “If you think I give even a single shit what you think or feel, then you are dead fucking wrong. I see fuckwads like you in here every day, thinking they’ve got their lives all figured out before they’re even done with high school, when really the moment they don’t have any mommies or daddies to go back home to once it’s dark out they’re nothing but a blubbering mess of tears and failure. You think you can just come in here and disrespect me and my partner, you’ve got another fucking thing coming!” She yanked him closer, so close that their noses were practically touching. “Now listen here, you little shit, you’re going to hear what my partner has to say. You’re going to shut your fucking mouth and you’re not going to open it unless you’re fucking spoken to, and if I decide, or my partner decides, that what you tell us isn’t fucking good enough, then Jesus Capybara as my witness I will fucking end you. Do you understand me?

Eddie’s head went on vibrate, and she shoved him back into his seat, snarling, “Good.” She stood there, breathing hard, glaring at him like she might still try to tear him limb from limb. For a second, her breathing and the low hum of the table lamp were the only sounds in the room. Then the fox blurted:

“Judy, holy crap, that was amazing!”

The bunny turned, and suddenly the fierce, dominating warrior that had been towering over Eddie was gone, replaced by an adorable, bouncing bunny who squeaked, “Really, Nick?”

“Yeah, really!” The fox had changed as well, his cool demeanor replaced with that of a child who had just met his lifelong hero for the first time.

“Are you sure?” asked Judy, tugging on her ear and looking down at the desk. “Because I kind of thought I did a little too much cursing that time-”

Nick waved his hands and shook his head. “No no, babe, you were so good! Even I was a little scared of you!”

Judy blushed, wrung her paws together, and smiled at the fox. “Aww, Nicky…”

Then she bounced over to him and kissed him on the lips.

Eddie was confused.

“What.” He squinted at them, trying to understand what was happening. When they pecked their lips together again, his eyes went wide. “Wait a minute.” He did his best to point an accusatory claw at them, tugging at the chain of his cuffs. “You’re that pred-prey couple that stopped those animals going savage!”

“Hah! Told you he’d get it, Carrots!” Nick laughed. “Looks like somebunny owes me tomorrow morning’s coffee.” He tapped a finger on the bunny’s nose, making her pout at him.

Judy rolled her eyes and folded her arms. “Fine, you win.” Her pout dissolved into a sugary smirk. “But you know I would have gotten it for you anyway, sweetheart.”

He gave her a dopey smile, resting his head in his paws. “Yeah, I know, hun-bun.”

They touched their noses together, giggling, and Eddie gagged.

“Jee-zus, that’s disgusting!” he snarled, trying to edge away from the affectionate pair.

“Mm, maybe for you,” Nick hummed, nuzzling Judy’s neck. “I think it’s pretty nice.”

“How can you two even stomach looking at each other?” the hyena cried. “You’re, like, mortal enemies, or whatever!”

“Nick and I? Gosh, no,” Judy said. “I mean, we did kind of get off on the wrong foot when we met…” She snuggled against Nick, smiling into his neck as he wrapped an arm around her waist. “…but once I knew it was true love, I just couldn’t ever stay mad at him!”

“Aw,” Nick cooed, bending his neck so he could nuzzle her forehead with his muzzle. “Love you too, babe.”

Something in Eddie’s stomach curdled, and he spat, “How are you even allowed to be cops when you do shit like this?”

“Hmph!” Judy put her paws on her hips. “I’ll have you know you’re speaking to the two best officers in the entire ZPD.”

“She’s got ya there, Eddie,” Nick agreed, leaning forward and resting his head atop Judy’s. “And wouldn’t you know it, us being together is the whole reason why we’re the very best. Although, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t entirely because this little fluff-ball keeps me going every day…” He squeezed her hips, making her giggle.


“And hey,” he added, “just because we’re on duty doesn’t mean I can’t take a few seconds out of the day for this.”

He leaned down and started planting butterfly kisses up and down her neck and face. Judy responded by bursting into a fit of giggles, almost causing her to fall onto her back as Nick carried out his onslaught of affection.

Eee! Nick, stop it!” she squealed, trying to push the fox’s muzzle away to no avail. She nearly stumbled into the lamp beside them before Nick pulled her into an embrace and they both cuddled against one another, giggling.

The gooey display made something in the back of Eddie’s brain snap, and he dragged his claws across his face, groaning, “Enough. Just let me go already! Whatever you need, I’ll do it, as long as I can get the hell away from this place!”

Nick’s ear twitched, and he did his best to stifle his laughter. “Sounds like a plan to me, Eddie. We’ll just go ahead and bring in our other officers who are working on this case. They’ve got the rest of the evidence you can help them with.”

Eddie grinned hysterically. “Yes, please! Send someone else in!”

“Alright, alright, don’t get too excited.” Nick stood up, and pulled Judy into his arms, setting her off giggling again. “C’mon, babe, let’s go get McHorn and Delgato in here.” He nuzzled the tips of their noses together, and headed for a large door at their end of the room, carrying her bridal style. She looked back at Eddie over his shoulder and gave a small wave.

“Bye!” she sang, giving a beaming, gushy smile that made him wish she was still threatening to murder him.

Nick opened the door and stepped out into the hallway beyond the interrogation room. The moment the door shut, he let Judy slide out of his arms and back onto the floor. She straightened herself out and dusted off her uniform as Nick turned to look at the rhino and lion sitting a few feet away from them.

“There you go, boys,” he said, slipping a pair of sunglasses out of his shirt pocket and putting them on. “He’s all ready for ya.”

“He really is,” McHorn said, staring at a monitor showing the inside of the interrogation room. “I think you might have driven him insane. He’s laughing alone in there.”

“Geez, and I thought I was good at scaring dumb teenagers,” Delgato murmured, scratching his jaw.

“Sorry it took so long,” Judy interjected. “Nick was being a little greedy with the ‘cuddle time.’” She made air quotes with her fingers and nodded at the fox beside her.

“Don’t act like you don’t love it when I do that,” he replied.

“Take those sunglasses off, we’re inside,” she retorted. “Dumb fox.”

Nick merely chuckled before flipping the sunglasses up onto his forehead.

“How did you know that’d work?” Delgato asked, leaning back in his seat.

“It always does, with these kinds of criminals,” Judy answered. “All it takes is a simple search through records, see whether or not their crimes have any sort of focus on predator-prey relationships, and you go from there.” She pointed to the monitor. “The kid’s graffiti was always anti-interspecific rhetoric, so all we needed was a little predator-prey affection right in his face, and he’s an open book.”

McHorn smirked at the bunny. “Must be the easiest job in the world, showing off your boyfriend to get criminals talking.”

Both Nick and Judy snorted at this.

“Yeah right,” Nick chuckled.

“We hate it when couples act all mushy in front of others,” Judy explained. “It’s annoying.”

“You have no idea how hard it is for me to say the phrase ‘hun-bun’ with a straight face.”

“We wouldn’t be caught dead actually saying that garbage to each other.”

They both laughed, and so didn’t notice the look and smirks exchanged between McHorn and Delgato.

Sure, Hopps,” the latter replied. “Good work, you two.”

“Yeah, we really appreciate it,” McHorn chimed in.

“Hey, no problem, boys,” Nick said, turning to leave. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have a lunch break to enjoy. C’mon, ‘babe.’”

Judy snorted again and teased, “Sure thing, ‘Nicky.’” She turned to McHorn and asked, “If you guys need any more help on this case, just give me a call, okay?”

McHorn rolled his eyes and smiled. “Yeah, yeah, Hopps, we will.” He held out his fist for Judy to bump. “Have a good lunch.”

Her paw met his, and she thanked him. Then she walked off with Nick, down the hall and around a corner at its end.

They headed towards the stairs that lead back up to the main floor of the department. As they walked, Judy considered their little interrogation method, and said, “You know, I still think the cursing’s a little excessive. Not sure why I have to do it that way every time when the important part’s the flirting.”

Nick adjusted his sunglasses on his forehead. “Mm? Oh, you don’t have to every time. I just think you’re hot when you’re angry.”

She shot him a dirty look, but couldn’t help smirking at his admission. “And the cursing?”

“Reminds me of our weekends together.”

Judy’s face turned a violent shade of crimson, and she turned away so he wouldn’t see it, bringing up a paw to scratch at a fake itch on her cheek. A plethora of memories bubbled up in her mind, and she chastised herself for letting him get to her so easily. She cleared her throat and turned back to retort at Nick, but when she looked at him she found him staring at her already, and it made her hesitate. He took the opportunity to flash her his fangs in a smile and wink, and the warmth that flooded her body at that moment disconnected any wires in her brain that allowed her to form a multiple-word sentence. Instead, she laughed, lamely and nervously, and the two officers continued towards the stairs in silence.

“…Wanna quickie in the records office before we go get lunch?” Nick asked.

“Oh my god, yes,” Judy breathed, and grabbed his paw in hers, yanking him down a hall towards their awaiting secret space.

Real talk, part of the reason I get weirdly emotional over Weiss being held is because pretty much everything we’ve seen so far points to a scarcity of loving physical affection in her life.

Because we have moments like this

which we all laughed at endlessly, as we should, because it’s hilarious. But the contradiction in what she says and what she does is also indicative of the fact that Weiss really doesn’t know how to show her affection for people. Which also gives us moments like this

…not “physical affection” exactly, but a caring moment, a “tell us what’s troubling you,” somewhat awkwardly executed and confrontational. Some of the tension between her and Blake specifically is probably contributing to the action here, since this episode comes on the heels of the V1 Monochrome train Black and White. But even considering that, she shows genuine concern, reveals that she’s been preoccupied by Blake’s mood, and offers help in a dramatic gesture that manages to feel both caring and out of place at the same time.

And watching her interactions with Winter, I’m starting to understand where some of these contradictions stem from. Weiss greets her very formally (like royalty, I remember seeing someone point out) and has to break down the wall of what I originally interpreted as apathy before Winter starts to (stiffly) show her affection. I doubt the two of them get the opportunity to hug often like they did in episode 4, and their physical interactions before that moment were almost entirely Winter correcting her.

That first hit gets played off as affectionate (“I don’t recall asking about your ranking, I’m asking how you’ve been.”) and we see that Winter actually does care about Weiss on a personal level. But coupling a slap with a thoughtful inquiry carries some implications about Weiss’s family life, especially for the dynamic they seem to have that at times more closely resembles parent-child than sisters. I’m not saying that no one ever hugged Weiss or showed her love, because I was honestly touched by Winter’s “learn yourself” speech, and also because this happened

…but even here Weiss seems unsure how to react for a moment before she gives a cute lil smile and makes me go “awww”

“It was really good to see you, Winter.”

This, right here, is what Weiss needs more of in her life: unconditional affection coupled with the reminder that people care about far more than the perks of her last name, which she’s starting to learn isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

The more time Weiss spends with her team, the more we see her depart from the awkward days of V1. We’re not even halfway through volume 3 yet but she’s managed to go from ineffective Pyrrha-fawning, bossy standoffishness, and racist comments, to someone who is willing to step away from her father’s influence and sacrifice herself for her friends (yes Weiss, they are indeed your friends). And she manages to make that growth without totally losing her trademark attitude.

I attribute these changes mostly to RBY’s influence. The beautiful part is that they all challenge and support her in different ways. Ruby’s enthusiasm, combat style, and leader status all really rubbed Weiss the wrong way…

…but she also provides unwavering acceptance of Weiss for who she is and genuinely admires her independent of her family status.

Blake’s background automatically put the two of them at odds and forced Weiss to really examine her stereotyping behavior…

…yet Blake chose to catch her as she fell and carry her to safety even though she had the perfect opportunity to fuck up Torchwick while he was practically begging her to do just that.

Yang cares little for the spoiled rich girl attitude, shares a lot of Ruby’s “fly by the seat of your pants” fighting style that contradicts Weiss’s attention to perfect form, and has a fire affinity to contrast Weiss’s ice affinity…

…yet they collaborate so wonderfully, and Yang’s immediate reaction after the tournament fight ends as she’s coming down from rage mode is to run to Weiss’s side.

Tell me, can a heart be turned to stone?” she sings in White Trailer, but these three seem bound and determined to make sure that doesn’t happen.

IN CONCLUSION: Everyone should hug the snowy shitlord as much as is humanly possible.

kibumkeychain  asked:

Hanamiya, Imayoshi, Hara, Midorima, Hyuuga, Ogiwara when they meet their s/o parents for the first time, please. Sorry, if it to much, and I love your blog ^^

not at all and thank you sweets ;)

HANAMIYA: Surprisingly, Hanamiya’s IQ would impress them especially since he would know how to use that smooth tongue of his to sweet-talk his way through. However, no one could ever miss that devious smile of his and questioned you whether you were still innocent or whether you had been ‘preyed upon’. But he knows not to be completely rude to your parents.

HARA: Hara’s bubblegum habits bothered your parents endlessly but they let him be because he was hilarious to talk to. Hara had plenty of funny stories to tell and, although your parents couldn’t appreciate his sarcasm at times, he was entertaining enough to distract them away from the fact that his hand kept working on you underneath the dining table. They never knew until this day.

HYUUGA: To your parents, Hyuuga’s credentials seem good enough with his starting up the basketball team and being captain and also his pretty decent grades. He would be very awkward and try to laugh a lot in the beginning until you started teasing him that your family started laughing at him instead. But Hyuuga’s generally polite because he’s already used to meeting older people like Riko’s dad.

IMAYOSHI: Imayoshi is not known as the master manipulator for nothing. He was sweet and polite, greeting your mother with a bouquet of flowers and talking work with your father. He knew how convince them that he was the right man for you. In the end, he just asked whether it was alright for him to be dating you. Not so surprisingly, your parents said yes and even hinted at marriage. Obviously, he was beyond pleased.

MIDORIMA: [Okay I’m going to cheat here since I did a short piece on it for AO3, which you can read here!]

OGIWARA: This bubbly and adorable guy would wow your parents in no time. With his cheerfulness and enthusiasm, not to mention his support for you in everything you do. Ogiwara would tease you often that your parents couldn’t resist and pull out your old baby albums. Your boyfriend would go crazy over it. When it came to an end, you were relieved, until your parents brought up marriage. Shit.

Nanda Par-smut? A Conversation about THAT Night.

This week on Mysteries of Arrow, lerayon and fiacresgirl discuss what really happened that night in the Nanda Parbat red sex room and ponder the restrictions of smut writing.

fiacresgirl: So this conversation started because our mutual admiration of some very fine green cargo pants (ht: emilybuttrickards

led to your request for some Nanda Parbat smut fanfiction which I wrote…or tried to write and got stuck.

lerayon: Yes, ma’am! I’m giddy just thinking about the messaging shenanigans those pants inspired. Amell is a curse to us all. But also the remedy. It will be endlessly hilarious to me how this has all spiraled. And I loved your fic. “An Ode to Cargo Pants” indeed.

fiacresgirl: So then I told you I was struggling to write the follow up I’d promised, and you said maybe we should talk about this, which, by the way, was a very mature and understanding way to approach this problem, thank you.

lerayon: I’ve been thinking about Olicity’s night in Nanda Parbat since you mentioned a follow-up last week. Was particularly struck by you commenting, “I really have to think about what would completely blow Felicity’s mind. Sexually, that is.” Because, yes. That absolutely happened. And I think that I, like you, initially struggled with hitting on what that might be, particularly given the timeline.

fiacresgirl: There’s so little time between them having sex the first time and dawn, that is. And she still has to drug him and have that adventure in the catacombs.

I think Oliver would want to explore everything about Felicity and vice versa, but there are things that have to be approached? You know? Clearly, she’s ready to be vulnerable with him in a sexual way, but there’s sex and then there’s barrier-destroying total vulnerability sex, and I’m not sure what they did that night or what they would have done. The writers left it open, and I don’t really write AUs or non-canon stuff. Put more bluntly, I feel like he’d go down on her, but they’d have to talk about it, and, frankly I’m embarrassed for her even though I’m not sure she’d be embarrassed. I mean, you’ve got ALL THAT coming at you, and she’s got to be thinking, “I should have shaved.” I would be hugely self-conscious. But I didn’t want to inject too much of myself into Felicity.

At the same time, she has to know that this might be it for her and them, and if that were the case, wouldn’t you be all *grabby hands*?

lerayon: I don’t want to mess with your process too much, so I’ll just ask some questions: How much time do you think they had that night? Would that allow for more than one go-round?

fiacresgirl: I’m not sure how much time they had. I think he was just 100% completely and utterly exhausted, both physically and emotionally from the fighting, the travel, the strain of worrying over Thea, Maseo’s betrayal, and the Lazarus Pit. I know he’s the strongest person Dig’s ever known, but I’m not going to have him go all night, and I don’t even think he would. A lot of their being together should be her shoring him up for what’s to come and him trying to do the same for her. So maybe like a couple of hours? Tops?

lerayon: Agreed re: Oliver’s exhaustion level. And 2 hours TOPS seems right considering the whole escape attempt and Al Sah-Him ceremony, both of which I assume happened before dawn..? Going too far down the timeline rabbit hole seems ill-advised, though.

You seem super sure he would go down on her - why?

fiacresgirl: I think Oliver expresses himself physically. I believe he’s a kinesthetic learner. And if he believes he only has this one night and it’s got to get him through what he has to view as an endless trial, he’s going to want to touch every part of her every way he can because he learns and remembers and communicates best through touch. I also think he’ll want to give her everything he can, and other than reiterating his feelings, the only thing he’s really got left to give in the short time they have left together is sensual oblivion. The short love scene we got - he was all about her.

lerayon: Hmmm… Additional, question: Given the “So that happened” convo and toast we saw, how much post-coital dialogue do you think they exchanged before getting up and dressed?

fiacresgirl: I don’t know. I think she fell asleep. I can’t believe she’d let him get up and get completely dressed without like hanging all over him if she hadn’t fallen asleep. And if she fell asleep, then it’s kind of a reset, you know? Like you say things when you’re emotionally compromised or in the throes of passion, and then you have to live with what you did when you get up, and life goes on. I think they could have talked.

lerayon: Based on what you’re saying, I absolutely think it could fit into two hours. The one opinion I’ll give is this: if she fell asleep, so did he. And she woke first intent on her rescue plan. While she was out of the room procuring wine and ancient roofies, he woke and dressed. Maybe checked on Thea. That’s the only reason I can see for him being fully dressed. Practically, from a show production perspective, I know he had to be for the whole drugged and spirited away bit, but I don’t see him (as a character) fully getting dressed without a concrete reason.

fiacresgirl: I agree. So they’re apart, they come back together, and they now have to talk with all of that intimacy so fresh. I can see that meshing with the whole “So that happened” convo.

Here’s one more wrinkle: if she’s thinking about drugging him and how to pull that off in addition to all the other stuff she’s got running through her mind, I think it would be a lot harder to just relax and enjoy herself, you know? I read a really funny love scene once in a book called Crazy for You by Jennifer Crusie. It’s about two longtime friends who finally hook up. The guy has been a real manwhore all of his life, and the girl is a teacher. She’s been a good girl and is in a stable relationship, and she decides it’s not what she wants so she breaks up with her boyfriend and hooks up with her friend, and when they finally have sex she’s so distracted by the potential effects of what it will do to their relationship that she makes it like A LOT harder for him to do his job even though he knows what he’s doing and she’s really attracted to him. It was both funny and realistic.

What I’m saying, is that with all that’s gone on with Oliver and Felicity just prior to this moment, getting the smut part to work - it’s a challenge.

lerayon:  Now that we’ve headcanoned through some stuff, I think I’ve arrived here: The timing of two hours sounds right. I love your obviously well-thought out meta about Oliver’s physicality and learning style, and how that would all come to bear in the bedroom with Felicity. I wholeheartedly agree that after all they have been through, all that he has resigned himself to endure as Al Sah-Him, and Felicity’s declaration of love, he would focus on her pleasure and want to make their night together “count.” All that, combined with “So that happened,” has me thinking an expanded scene would look like this:

Beyond the foreplay we saw onscreen, Oliver continued his intense focus on Felicity. I think he started to get her off with his fingers once he flipped her onto her back, likely with the intention of going down on her. But before he got to that point, I think Felicity urged him to make love to her. And it started slow, with him memorizing her reactions. Both of them super loving. But the intensity built quickly and the encounter didn’t last terribly long. I arrive here because these two have waited FOREVER to be together. And they are both emotionally and physically drained from everything. Maybe they have a second round, but I haven’t gamed that out yet. And I’m still on the fence regarding what all they do vocalize between sex and “So that happened.” I think I have decided that they both fall asleep (however briefly). And maybe Felicity wakes first, as I theorized earlier today, and sneaks out to put her plan into action. But on second thought, I’m not sure how Oliver would feel waking up without her. So let’s scratch that.

Oliver wakes first (he’s the lighter sleeper of the two and has a lot going on in his mind with Thea and the League). And Felicity is well-bedded and maybe indulging in the sweet embrace of sleep after finally confessing her love to Oliver. That’s a big weight off her shoulders, and I can see her subconsciously reveling in the new feeling for a little while. Plus: all the good sexing.

So he wakes first, and accidentally yet sweetly wakes her with his hands and/or mouth on her body. Not overtly sexual, but definitely familiar. Maybe they talk a bit. He tells her he wants to check on Thea and dresses. While he’s gone, she starts to think about all that’s happened and what’s to come when she’s forced to leave him. She forms her plan, dresses, gets her tools. She takes them into the room just off the bedchamber to prepare the mix - this is when Oliver returns. He’s not alarmed because he hears her in the next room, so he wanders out to the balcony. Cue “So that happened.”

I think (in Nanda Parbat) Felicity’s mind would have to be blown not from the sheer physicality and talent that Oliver obviously can apply in bed (she’s definitely experienced more aspects of that this summer), but by the overwhelming passion and care and Oliver-ness he shows her that night. And (given the timeline and their physical, mental, and emotional states) that’s going to manifest primarily through a heady combination of small details that equal INTIMACY. The way he looks at her, and says her name; takes his cues from her reactions and also reacts to how she makes love to him. Basically, just a more vulnerable and heightened extension of the small moments they shared, fully-clothed, over the last three years.

And oh shit, I think I just decided that my forever unwritten fic of this night might be framed around paralleling a handful of those moments. Not explicitly verbalized, but alluded to - each of them making the connections in their minds and those memories rising up to just under the surface as they move together.

fiacresgirl: So you’re saying, basically, that based on all of these circumstances - their exhaustion and over-stimulation, the short window of time between the scene we saw and dawn with significant action still to happen, and the little they say to each other before they share a toast - that a second round is out. It couldn’t have happened? Or, if it did, there’s no way it was the sex Olympics. Like, they just made out a little longer and fell asleep.

Because that’s what I’ve been bumping up against in trying to write this.

The show glossed over some really important details that made up what that whole crazy night must have really been like for the two of them. This was a hugely important scene - EBR referred to it as their souls meeting. I think it’s about way more than sex and for that reason it can’t be written as smut. We should post this on Tumblr.

lerayon: I think…yes. Round 2 did not happen. And thank you for bringing up EBR’s quote. It occurred to me a bit later. Definitely no Sex Olympics, whether one round or two. I’ll go a bit further and say that Oliver was likely heading for another go when Felicity drugged him.

I love your idea of posting this. While I’ve certainly enjoyed the many smut fics inspired by this episode, I don’t think any of them have gotten a “Headcannon Accepted” from me. That actually only happens very rarely, and it’s usually with spec fic written with a keen eye to canon characterization. You and maybe one other writer I follow truly excel at that. I suppose that this is all to say that I’ve REALLY enjoyed how this exercise has spun into a really fun meta. :)

fiacresgirl: Okay, I agree. No Round 2, and no going down. What she’s going to remember and what will sustain or break her - depending on what incarnation he’s presenting himself as over the next weeks - will be that he was absolutely riveted by her, immersed in her, enthralled by her, and that from the second she told him she loved him, his energy changed, he was resurrected by her care and admiration for him. That is some powerful, powerful Juju right there, better than multiple orgasms.

So, to sum up, there’s too much emotion going down for this to be conceived as smut, and I don’t think I can write hands and legs and sucking and biting here and believe it myself. Not for this moment of time. It’s like, holy.

Maybe a dream sequence - I could write that: what would have happened if fucking Ra’s wasn’t such a controlling cockblocking psychopath (although he did sort of push them together, so there is that. One level up in Dante’s Inferno for you, Ra’s).

lerayon: Oh, man. Goosebumps with this. It truly was a holy rite. There’s something there that ties this missing love scene to the final sequence we get of Oliver striding into the Chamber of Ra’s’ Bullshit and beginning his transformation into Al Sah-Him. For all the eye-roll inducing nonsense that the League produces, they give decent ritual iconography. And the Arrow writers, along with Emily and Stephen, already gave us the visual language that supports “holy rite.”

Is it wrong that through this conversation I’ve purged myself of any need for additional Nanda Parbat smut? This is so much better! Am I an insane person? You don’t have to answer that.

fiacresgirl: If you’re insane, I’m insane. Let’s just wallow together in the perfectness of Olicity and all their super deep feels for each other and their epic, epic love.

lerayon: Solid logic. Agreed.

Hiccups (Dean Imagine)

A/N: Hey guys, here is a short imagine that was requested that I finally got to. I hope you enjoy :)

Request: Dean x reader The reader can’t stop hiccuping

You had been laughing nonstop all day. Dean and Sam were telling jokes endlessly or putting themselves in hilarious situations, making you laugh every second.

You were now sitting with Dean at some diner and he was telling yet another joke. You started to laugh but a hiccup came out.

“Was that a hiccup?” Dean asked with a chuckle.

You were about to say yes, but another loud hiccup came out. Dean just throws his head back laughing, amused by your little hiccups. You scowl before taking a sip from your water, trying to get the hiccups away.

Though that didn’t work and now you were annoyed. Dean was fighting a laugh, he found this funny yet adorable as well.








Dean could no longer hold it in and laughed loudly at you. You groaned and crossed your arms over your chest, glaring at him.

He stops laughing and gave you a smile. “I’m sorry, babe.”

“I hate you.”

He chuckles, “Love you too.”

promo pics of Cas having blasted the door is always somehow endlessly hilarious to me

he vaguely reminds me of a cat or a dog that accidentally got stuck inside a room after the door closed behind him or his owner left him alone for few minutes and he freaked the fuck out so he fucking destroyed the door instead

“I panicked, Dean. I apologize for the mishap.”


Book: Attachments
Author: Rainbow Rowell
Pages: 323
Rating: ★★★★★ 5/5


From the award-winning author of Eleanor & Park, Fangirl, and Landline comes a hilarious and heartfelt novel about love in the workplace.

Beth Fremont and Jennifer Scribner-Snyder know that somebody is monitoring their work e-mail. (Everybody in the newsroom knows. It’s company policy.) But they can’t quite bring themselves to take it seriously. They go on sending each other endless and endlessly hilarious e-mails, discussing every aspect of their personal lives.

Meanwhile, Lincoln O'Neill can’t believe this is his job now- reading other people’s e-mail. When he applied to be “internet security officer,” he pictured himself building firewalls and crushing hackers- not writing up a report every time a sports reporter forwards a dirty joke.

When Lincoln comes across Beth’s and Jennifer’s messages, he knows he should turn them in. But he can’t help being entertained-and captivated-by their stories.

By the time Lincoln realizes he’s falling for Beth, it’s way too late to introduce himself.

What would he say … ?


Well, it’s official Rainbow Rowell is now my favorite author. I feel like I have the right to say this now that I’ve read all of her books and I pretty much loved them all. There is just something about Rainbow’s writing - I find this weird comfort in it. Her stories are whitty, funny, and romantic, with just the right amount of sorrow and depth. I relate to her characters in so many ways and I don’t know who I would like to be friends with more, Rainbow herself or her characters. But enough of me professing my love for Rainbow Rowell, let us talk about Attachments.

So if what happened in Attachments happened in real life it would be totally creepy. A guy (as cute and shy as he may be) reading your e-mails and falling in love with you. Can you say restraining order? Even Beth was a little bit of a stalker but maybe that is what makes the two of them such a cute and perfect couple. Since this is a book, you can kinda look past the creepiness of their romance story and swoon at the cuteness of it. What I really loved was that most of the dialogue in this book was told via e-mail. I thought it was a really clever idea and really interesting to read. Even though you only see Beth and Jennifer through e-mail exchanges they are both very well developed characters and I enjoyed reading about their lives. They were hilariously funny and their stories pulled at my heart strings - especially Jennifer’s. The other portion of this book, that is not told through e-mails, is told in third person about Lincoln’s life. Did anyone else feel really bad for Lincoln? He just seemed so sad and stuck in his life. He wanted to change but he didn’t know where to start and he seemed to be a little bit afraid of change. It kind of made him a bit pathetic but I felt bad for him all the same. I think a lot of people can relate to both him and Beth. They both had this dream of what their life was going to be; 4 kids by the age of 32, happily married, living in a nice house, not stuck at a dead end job. I think everyone can relate to that a little bit. Their life plan not happening like they expected it would. This book was a good dose of reality with a touch of cheesy romance and I absolutely adored it.

I would recommend this book to the following people; college graduates, people who can’t get over their high school sweethearts, people stuck in a loveless relationship, people afraid to have children, people who want to have children, happily and unhappily single people, married people, people who feel stuck in life, people trapped in a crappy job, movie lovers, someone who is looking for a cute heartfelt story. So… basically everyone.

Edit: I also liked that it took place during Y2K. I like when Rainbow writes books about the 90s and Y2K was a huge deal for everyone. I was only 9.5 (not even) when the new millennium arrived but I remember everyone freaking out about it; so it was nice to reminisce and re-live it as an adult.

you know what’s funny to me? like, endlessly hilarious.

when my friend came out as a trans guy he told me his new name and like, it’s ian, right?? ian jones.

but before that he was gonna call himself ivan. ivan jones.

ivan. jones.

like, frickin. rusame.

he’s a filthy rusame shipper who literally named himself after the ship. wtf.