this is dedicated to a real life friend of mine lmao

"I Have To Study” - a short story

I wanna dedicate this to my good friend, Melissa, who tried to convince me that the man in this story was gay. Turns out, it’s much worse. Love you.


About eight or nine months ago, I was riding on the train, on my way to my boyfriend’s house from work. Sitting across from me is one of the finest men I’ve ever seen IN PERSON. No exaggeration. He’s Mexican, clean-cut, well-dressed. Really pretty brown skin, dark hair kinda like that poofy up-do Bruno Mars used to have. Bushy brows, the way I like! He was wearing this tan trench coat and a serious ass expression on his face, and his hands were in his pockets. Basically looked like he didn’t wanna be bothered. It was sexy though lol. But obviously, I’m just looking because I’m happily taken at this point. 

The next day, when I head to lunch at work, I see the same guy in the cafeteria at my job. I was like what the fuck… is he following me? Lmao. He looked up when I came in but then ignored me completely. I stared at him the entire time until he got up and left, he was just too fine yall. I wish I could post pictures lmao. The next day, I saw him yet again and he was with a group of trainees. So finally it made sense why I saw him on the train and at my job. He was about to start working there *insert Birdman hand rub*. Lol even when I have a man, I can appreciate some eye candy around the workplace even if I have no intentions of trying anything. He worked in the department right next to mine and they were always over in our section so I got to look at him every day. I wasn’t the only one admiring either lol, even an older lady I know said every time he walked past her, she just

So anyway, fast forward to September 14, 2017.

Here’s the scene. It’s my 25th birthday. I’m at work looking cute as fuck. I’m single and tryna mingle. So I decide to go ahead and take a chance and shoot my shot at him. Umm.. we just gone call him Javi because I don’t wanna use his real name. 

So I been noticing lately that this guy I know in my department, we’ll call him Carter, has been hanging around Javi a lot lately. He stops at his desk every time he walks past and always goes to stand with him whenever we all do things as a group. One of my work friends who had an inckling that Carter was gay thought that something might be going on between them. I mean, anything is possible, but I wasn’t gonna assume that just based off of her thoughts. I mean, she thought her own boyfriend was gay when she first met him because he had a lisp. And her only reasoning for thinking Carter was gay was that he takes his shoes off sometimes when he’s sitting at his desk. 

Anyway, I approach Carter and bring up his friendship with Javi and ask how old he is? It turns out he’s way too young for my taste when it comes to dating, and I just say nevermind and walk away. But now Carter’s all in my business trying to find out why I’m curious and saying “I could get his number for you, I got you”. I decline, but of course when he comes back from his break, he has a sticky note with Javi’s name and number on it and hands it to me. Didn’t even tell the guy who I was, just that someone was interested in him. I had no intentions of using it at first cause I thought the shit was kinda creepy, butttttt he did know about it and gave his number up willingly. And in all honesty, I’d still hit even though I wouldn’t seriously date him. So what the hell, right?

So I text him that night and give him my name and he immediately knows who I am, even though we’ve never spoken before. He asked me what was on my mind and I told him straight up that I was really physically attracted to him and I wanted to know if we could be friends, who have sex sometimes lmao. He said we could talk. I’m like…..talk? And he said yeah, how else would anything start. So I’m thinking okay okay, so he’s fucking with it. He wants to make something happen. He said he saw my art that I’d presented at our work talent show that night and he asked to see more of it. And he’s clearly trying to keep the convo going so he must be interested. 

After a while though, I notice that he texts as if he’s writing poetry or bible verses or some shit. Like everything sound deep as fuck. And when I bring it up, he says the bible is his favorite book. I think back to all the times I saw him reading alone at lunch and realize oh..it was the bible. That’s cool or whatever. Then he sends me an actual bible verse. So I’m like “Okay so you’re very religious? Does this mean casual sex is out of the question? Or sex, period? I guess?” And he says “It hurts to say it, but yes. I would prefer to not induldge in that.”

NIGGA.

At this point, I’m thinking there’s no way my sex life could get any worse. There’s nothing that can happen that hasn’t already happened. And then I run into a nigga who’s saving himself for marriage. The one I been lusting after for eight months now. If yall know me at all, you know I wasn’t about to just completely give up after that. I was willing to settle for fucking MAKING OUT AND DRY HUMPING if I had to. I could always get intercourse from someone else lol. So I ask about kissing. He says “Haha I can give you a holy kiss, as saying hello”. I’m like no tongue???? What the fuck is happening? Why the fuck wouldn’t he tell me all this in the beginning when I first told him that I wanted to fuck? His response to that was that we wouldn’t be talking now if he had. 

So I just go ahead and let him know we can be cool and everything, but we’re just completely incompatible. I’m still in my hoe phase right now, I’m not trying to do anything but fuck and be friends. And he can’t give me the one thing I want most. Even if I didn’t just want sex, we wouldn’t work in a committed relationship either. I’m like the opposite of what a Christian man should be going after. And that’s coming from one wholesome motherfucker. We text more that night, pretty much just me asking him questions about his religion because I don’t know how all that works. I know Christian people, but obviously not any who takes it as seriously as he does. 

This nigga don’t listen to secular music, watch TV, or do anything for fun really (his words). He just goes to bible study every day, gets haircuts, eat, study, and talk. That’s what he listed as his favorite things to do. And since he’s constantly studying for church in his downtime, he pretty much never hangs out with anybody. He has friends at work but says they don’t hang out because they have different mindsets. He did mention that if I needed physical affection, he could give me a massage. That’s how he shows physical affection. It’s better than intercourse, according to him. But idek how to feel at this point, I was taking in too much information at once lmao. And every time I learned something new, I would think “He can’t be serious” “Am I being punk’d” “This nigga is not fr”. But he told me he wanted to help me with my Spanish, so I figured at least I had that. I really needed someone fluent to practice speaking it with. 

So the whole next week at work, whenever we walk past each other, he can’t help but smile at me and his smile is so pretty that I can’t help but smile back. It was lowkey pissing me off cause it wasn’t fair how fine he is and I can’t even put my hands on him!!!!! I’m sure we looked goofy as hell to everyone around us, steady smirking at each other like we was in on some inside joke nobody else knew about. We ate lunch together once. And we’d text each other in Spanish. He texted me every single day to say good morning and we’d have long convos after work til almost 3am. I found out he’s been looking at me just as long as I’ve been looking at him! He said he notices everything about me… when I change my hair, how I always sit at a desk in the back facing the wall, how I’m always so into my music at work. I never even knew he saw me at all before this. And naturally, all this shit is starting to make me feel mushy and I really did enjoy talking to him, even though I thought he was weird as fuck at first. 

And come to find out, he’s only been living his life this way for the past eight months (yeah, that’s right, eight months) when he really got into the bible more. I’m over here thinking he’s a complete virgin, but he’s had four girlfriends and has had sex before and been intimate in all the ways I WANTED to be intimate with him. Just not the past eight months. And if I allowed him to MASSAGE me, I’d be the first woman he ever did it to. I’m thinking okay… so if he’s never done it before, he has no idea how he’s gonna react to it when it’s actually happening. He’d told me before that he gets nothing out of sex beside some white creamy texture that comes out of him and makes him feel tingly, then he cleans himself and it’s over. Basically said he’d only have sex again to have the little girl he wants. He made it seem like he was really disgusted by it. And you know all my friends were like

They felt like he was into men and just hiding behind his religion. I didn’t know WHAT the fuck was going on. I  just knew he seemed to genuinely be into me and that was unfortunate because I was never gonna get to do him lol. I ain’t gone lie, after he said that shit I thought he might be gay too, but after being around each other more, I started defending him against my friends. Like shit… he just dedicated as fuck to his religion. I personally don’t understand it and wouldn’t wanna live that way, but he says he’s been tremendously happier in the past eight months and your happiness is the only thing that matters when it comes to how you live your life, nobody else’s. So I wasn’t about to try to corrupt him. But yall… he kept bringing up the massages. And Thursday night, the convo almost seemed…. sexual?

He said we can hang out any day as long as it doesn’t interfere with his work and that he was in need of a “rubbing”. He said he wanted us to “exchange rubbings” (LMAO) and that he wanted to give me that physical affection. Then he said it would be in his room or mine. Which threw me off…. cause I’m like ummm… he can massage a woman who’s not his wife alone in his bedroom? Idk, based on the other shit he told me, it didn’t seem like that would be appropriate? But shit, he knows better than me, so if he said it was cool it must be. And when I told him that he makes me blush a lot, he said “Without a touch? What will happen then?” and that I’d be overwhelmed…. and that shit made me think. Is this why tantric sex works so well???? LMAO. (I’ve always been interested in that, btw). 

But moving on. It’s Friday.

I notice he’s not at work that day. I was kinda sad about it cause I looked good as fuck, but whatever lol. When we text that night after I get home at midnight, he says he wants to hear me speak Spanish out loud and tells me to come over.

I’m like NOW??? After midnight??? He said he wanted me to come take a nap with him until he had to wake up at 4am to study for church, then he’d drive me home at 7 when he had to leave the house. Dude. So not only do you want me, a woman you’re not married to, to come over AFTER MIDNIGHT, but you wanna share a bed with me??? Solo???? En tu dormitorio?????!!! lmaooo. Nigga, I was stuffing White Castle in my face at the time, but I bagged that shit up real quick, fast, and in a hurry, took a good shit right quick, and got ready to go LMAOOOO. My friend was texting me saying I needed to gone head and let him put the tip in lol. But I’m like no…. I’m not gonna use this opportunity to try to pressure him. I respect his decision to not have sex til marriage and I enjoyed talking to him every day and didn’t wanna mess that up. Shit, I’m capable of laying next to a man I want and not jump his bones. I actually like when shit moves slow like that, the buildup makes everything better (when sex is actually the end goal). 

So I get all cute. He texts me when he’s outside. He smelling and looking good as fuck, as usual. And this time, he’s way more silly and normal than he is at work, and definitely more normal than he is through text. He was joking around with me the whole time, talking about how he had five aunts sleeping in bunk beds in his basement and I had to say hi to everybody when I got there lmaoo. And he was really laid back and cool as hell. Which just made me like him more. He teased me about turning the air on because I’m always cold. I was like “How would you know I’m always cold?” and he said “I already told you, I notice everything about you.” And I figured he must see me at work walking with my arms crossed trying to stay warm. *sigh*. 

When we get there, his room is fucking spotless as fuck. I was silently thanking God, ya’ll know I hate a man who lives dirty and Javi is only the second guy I’ve met who actually keeps his shit clean. I just sat down on the bed and he went and got us both some water, then he turned Netflix on this hugeeee fucking wide screen tv that was mounted on the wall. He had to go find the wifi password and shit cause he doesn’t actually use it because he doesn’t watch TV?? Idk why he has the biggest TV on earth in front of his bed then?? But whatever.

He had a nice BIG comfortable bed too, and he laid down sideways on my legs while I laid with my head against the headboard and we turned on The Office. Everything was going so chill…. we were laughing, talking, enjoying each other…. he touches my hands, asking me to rub his back and shit… ummhmmm… then he started to say something but stopped himself. And started mumbling. I’m like spit it out! He said he couldn’t if he wanted this space to stay holy and pure, and he knew what he was tryna say but it was about what was right and what was wrong. I said that’s fine, I’m not gonna try to persuade you to do anything you don’t wanna do. A little while later he was asking if I ever thought I would be there (I’m guessing with him, in his bed) and I said nope… it escalated quickly. And he agreed and said “a lot more could happen right now if we wanted it to…… but I can’t”. And once again I said I wasn’t gonna pressure him and didn’t wanna corrupt him. 

His dick was hard, I could tell cause he had these skinny ass jeans on before he laid down. And he took a pillow and said he was gonna sleep with it between his legs, tryna hide it and shit. He was telling me not to sleep on my side cause then he would have to come behind me. He took his shirt off. He said some more shit about where things could go at any moment and I asked him why he keeps talking about it if he doesn’t want it to happen?? Just going on and on and on. You wanna fuck or nah?? I would been down either way, but I needed him to make up his damn mind lmaobs. Then suddenly, this nigga jumps out of bed quick as fuck, turns the light on, starts putting a shirt on and I’m like what are you doing…. and he says he’s gonna take me home. WTF.

He was mumbling a bunch of shit….all I caught was “I guess this is my way of apologizing” but I didn’t care about what he was saying. I was just like whatever… put my shoes on and grabbed my bag. He was obviously confused about what he wanted. I knew this shit would happen. I don’t even know why I went. He was way too confident in his abilities to avoid temptation and talking about how only people with no equanimity allowed themselves to be tempted. So while we in the car, the convo went like this:

Me: Are you taking me home because you’re scared you might try something? 

Him: Why would I be scared, if I wanted to try something I would have done it 

Me: Then why are you taking me home?

Him: I have to study

Me: Okay but you were gonna study and take me home at 7am so what’s the problem?”

Him: I have to study

And that’s when I got mad and let him talk to himself for the rest of the ride home. I couldn’t believe this shit. I was gone for only two hours. I decided I was gonna leave him alone because he obviously needs to get his thoughts together on what he wants to do. It was all on him…. HE asked me to come over, HE asked me to share a bed with him, HE was the one all over me in bed and saying suggestive things, I was just going with the flow. Yeah, he was looking good as fuck and he thick as hell and his ass was looking extra grippable, but I didn’t try anything, didn’t even flirt. I was being respectful as fuck. I wasn’t gonna be the one he blamed for making him stray away from God or whatever the fuck lmao. So that has been my week. It’s the afternoon the next day now and I woke up thinking about this shit because his scent is still on me  *eyeroll*

THE END.

Okay, so here’s a recollection of the best day of my fandom life? #ECCC

I’m usually just here to make short, dumb, spazzy comments, so bear with me, because this will probably be long. However, I’ll try not to be too repetitive and remember the interesting parts. ;) Apologies if the pics are effing huge. I don’t do this posting thing - ever. hahah

Keep reading

listen – leslie is my heart and soul. he’s been my child for so many years and is so very, very important to me. just knowing that even one person may feel the same is overwhelming in ?? the best way ?? just. I’m really emotional rn and I’m gonna keep this part short so I can write some sappy crap about a few very important people below. 

@fateddivine​. my cheese. my best friend. my sister !! I love you and I know we don’t write often anymore ( lmao all my fault tbh ) but you’re my sharktatorchip always okay ?? you are so strong and so brave and so talented and honestly I’m just really lucky to have you in my life and I can’t wait to see you next spring. also, you’re the one who let me use your email two years ago to make leslie’s blog for the very first time when I was too lazy to make a new one and just … LMAO literally without you there’d be no les ( or me ) so. I just love you sm.

@loveruined​. sobs. I still can’t believe we’ve technically known each other for a long ass time yet we didn’t get close until a year or two ago – if I would’ve known the amazing friend I’d have then I’d of wiggled my way into your life sooner tbh. you are one of mine and leslie’s biggest cheerleaders and you’ve always loved him as if he were your own and I can’t tell you how much that means to me. I look up to you so much and I’m so thankful to have met you and one day I really hope we end up on the same corner of the earth again but like a tad bit closer so that we can discuss uni vs college and make poop jokes in person. also jane is both my child and my mom and jamie loves her sm despite acting like a total ass. 

@strangewebs. okay, but – you are LITERALLY the reason leslie exists. if it wasn’t for you talking me into bringing him to this hellsite, he might still be just a brain child I only semi-write on paper when the inspo strikes. and can we just talk about ?? how fucking sweet and creative and talented and amazing you are ?? like I don’t think you understand how much I adore you and I feel so honored every day that you’re my friend. you’ve supported me in every direction I’ve tried to take les ( lmao so many ) and you always give me honest feedback and you’re just super duper important to me and I’d fight the world for u.

@alleyspat​. mY BRO. holy heck I’m pretty sure we’re just family at this point. we’ve both been through so much since meeting each other and gone through some major changes and I’m just so glad I have you there beside me. you’ve supported me in real life woes as well as writing woes and your talent and dedication to your muses never ceases to astound me. you’re a role model and every time I see your face on my dash or feed it makes me so darn happy. you just ?? you deserve the world. don’t let anyone ever tell you any different. 

@serialclown​. carling, do you have any idea how much I adore you ?? you are just … so fucking talented and so fucking resilient and so fucking soft and kind and I’m just really honored that we’re as close as we are. you and cutter mean so much to leslie and I both and you’re both a huge part of why this blog is still even here, including the literal reason I brought les back in the first place. you have amazing taste in muses and no matter what your brain tells you, you are one of the most brilliant writers I know. keep your chin up, okay ??

list of more ppl I adore under the cut !! 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So like....how did you start draeing bodies..did you just kinda start trying and practicing? I hate bodies ;^; -🌸

I feel you in a serious way, my guy. Bodies suck. :’)

One of the most frustrating things about being asked these sorts of questions is that when it comes down to it, there’s not a whole lot I can tell you besides PRACTICEPRACTICEPRACTICE. I can offer you helpful tips, (art formulas, so to speak,) but the most effective thing you can do is get out and do your best to pick stuff up from everyday life.

As for your question itself! Just like in real life, the bodies you draw need skeletons. You need to lay out the basic shapes of the person you’re drawing before you hunker down on details. So start out with an ugly-ass sketch. Hella ugly. It doesn’t matter, just as long as that initial doodle sets the framework for whatever or whoever you have in mind.

Here’s a basic sketch of an OC of mine, with some helpful measurement tips:

In case my notes don’t make sense, (or you straight-up can’t read my handwriting lmao,) the average person’s torso is about twice the height of their head, and their lower half is about three times the height of their head. Your elbow should line up with your belly button. When your hands rest at your side, they should touch your mid-thigh. These rough measurements help me LOADS. There’s also certain measurements for facial features, but since we’re talkin’ bodies, I’ll save that for another time.

Adding details to your sketch is where the real work comes in. This is the part when you add clothes, hair, distinct features, etc. Basic measurements and formulas become less relevant, and real-life experience and studying becomes crucial. It’s tough, but the more reliable your skeleton, the less eyeballing you ultimately have to do.

Here’s the finished product of the sketch above:

(still super rushed, I’m sorry.) You can see I did away with some shit and added more shit, but that’s just because I have a tendency to hurry to the lineart phase and am pretty comfortable with pulling stuff out of my ass as I go. You don’t have to do that! If you’re comfortable with drawing the whole thing out as a sketch first and then just tracing, that’s totally fine.

Another thing that I tell literally everybody who wants to learn through reference: Pinterest is your friend. No, seriously. Making a board dedicated to drawing references and tutorials will save your life, water your crops, and feed your children. SUPER easy way to refer back to helpful stuff, and you can access your account from anywhere. Trust me on this one.

I’m not sure if this really helped, but I hope it did! <3

So, here I am with my first follow forever! This mean, as I said early today, that I have 500+ followers -cries- I cannot believe that I gained this amount in almost less than a week since I created this blog last sunday’s evening ;u; 

First of all, I want to thank everybody who is following, all of you guys are fab and I seriously don’t deserve the love I am receiving, you all deserve way more followers than me, really!

As I have said before a couple of times, this is not my main blog, and I’m surprised to see this amount of followers even when I’m not putting all the dedication to this blog well i’m actually am i’m online 24/7 i need help, and, i’m going to shameless promote here, check out my main blog cheeridyos!

Secondly, I’m so glad to see the fandom growing this fast! I hope we can support our girls and love them a lot, because they have worked hard and they deserve our attention and even more! 

Well, I’m going to get into this, okay? First, all the blogs that I follow are plain gorgeous, thanks for making my dash beautiful and for being plain hilarous, because oh god sometimes i can’t handle the text posts going around our fandom lmao that goes to blue cotton also thanks for sending some messages to me, it makes me so happy seeing you guys take a second of your life to make my day better ;AA;

special shout out to my real life friend, padfootandpilots, thanks for following even when we blog different things lmao, u suck ;u;

bolded are mutual!

A - M

birenes ;; eunoos ;; femaleidol ;; femaleidols ;; fy-joy ;; fyeah-seulgi ;; fyeah-redvelvet ;; girl-group ;; gyiyomii ;; inrouge ;; ireneulgi ;; irennies ;; ireseul ;; jeo-hyun ;; joyspark ;; joytiful ;; juhyeon-s ;; juhyeonss

N - Z 

rdvlvet ;; redvelvetvevo ;; r-velvet ;; r-velvets ;; s1cas ;; seoulgii ;; seulga ;; seulgi-ah ;; seulgijpg ;; seulgin ;; seulgogi-ah ;; seulgx ;; soyng ;; ssoulgi ;; sxulgi ;; taesyong ;; universeulgi ;; velvet-cakes ;; velvetjoy ;; vel-vets ;; vivarv ;; vvelvets ;; waendy ;; wdrns ;; wendeu ;; wendiian ;; wensol ;; wendygi