Lmao this was inspired by @theunchained-melody anti gency one shot. I apologize in advance for my terrible writing.
“Gency content? On my dash?!” The anti screeched. They dislodged themselves from their perch and began to pace back and forth. Nostrils were flared, brows were down and drawn together, and foam dripped from their mouth. One would think that their appearance resembled that of a troll.
The anti looked at the screen and their upper lip started to curl up as if they smelled something bad like their personality. One of my mutuals was the one responsible for this treachery? The anti thought to themselves. The only logical resolution for this is to unfollow and block them. Yes, that’s something intellectual like myself would do.
And so, the anti unfollowed and blocked their mutual and all was right in the world once again. However, the anti couldn’t shake this high sodium feeling that started to commence. Who could be behind this influx of Gency shipperdom? The anti thought. They tapped their long fingernail on their chin until the answer hit them like a ton of bricks.
“Micheal Chu…” The anti snarled. “I know he’s behind this, I can feel it in my bones. He and his seven alternate Twitter accounts are pushing this Gency agenda!” With a shaky hand, the anti filled their mug with grade A Gency tears ($100 per bottle) and took a sip. “He’s trying to make this boring, heterosexual ship canon. Doesn’t he know that my ship is more popular and by extension vastly more superior?! Only eight white and straight people ship this for fucks sakes!”
“So what if Gency got a full page panel in the comic?” The anti said with a laugh. “So what if Gency got the chocolate voice lines, matching skins, voice lines in game that show their concern and appreciation for one another, and their VAs support it? It means nothing! Surely, Our Lord and Savior Jeff Kaplan will put a stop to Chu’s attempts and make him see the light, the light of which that is my OTP.”
The anti yawned. Being filled with high levels of salt makes one really tried. They shuttled themselves off to bed and wrapped Anti Gency covers over their body and drift into sleep with thoughts of Gency not becoming canon. The end.