this is complete crap and i'm sorry

anonymous asked:

With all the crap with Mercy and having to deal with the fact that he isn't a complete human anymore... How R!Hanzo wants to fix the things with his brother? I mean, R!Genji is a fucking bastard in my opinion, and he don't feel even a little bit guilty fo what he did to his own brother. With C!Hanzo I can deal with it, because C!Hanzo was destroyed when he saw wht he did to his brother. But R!Genji don't feel anything! (Sorry If I'm rude, I love the story, but Genji is a fucker xD)

Nah, R!Genji’s a nasty dude, sure enough–this is a generally accepted fact amongst everyone in the r!au, including Genji himself. Hanzo seems to be the only person who it’s not quite clicking for, but this is because he still feels (not completely consciously, mind) like what happened between him and Genji was his fault. And likewise, Genji also is of the opinion that what happened between him and Hanzo was Hanzo’s fault, and not his own. Genji’s not totally wrong on this front (as we know, Hanzo was almost certainly going to kill him if he didn’t do it first), but needless to say, preemptively murdering someone in order to protect oneself doesn’t absolve a person of all sin. 

However, Genji believes that if he was deserving of punishment for what he did, everything he had to deal with after killing Hanzo (and there was a lot of stuff to deal with) was punishment enough. He was pushed into a corner, he did something bad, and he paid for it, over and over and over again for years. So, he is pretty profoundly done feeling bad about it–or anything, really. He spent too much time in the crucible, and it burned him straight through. 

Anyway, being isolated and away from home for so long has given Hanzo some obscenely low standards for family, particularly since his time with Overwatch just made him feel bleak. He’s willing to ignore some foibles if it means getting back a shred of normalcy, or regaining some semblance of the man he used to be. The ‘foibles’ in this case are pretty extensive, but not everyone’s perfect?? I guess???

As an aside, with respect to c!Hanzo, there was a weird voice line during the halloween event (that I oddly never really saw anyone comment on) where Ana asks Hanzo what he’s doing so far from home, to which Hanzo responds that he was banished for taking his brother’s life, and can’t return. This sort of flies in the face of fanon, which paints Hanzo as being immediately overcome with guilt and giving up his place amongst the Shimada as a consequence of it, and the Shimada chasing him down for abandoning them. 

However, it seems in canon that when Hanzo killed Genji, his family responded with “What the hell made you think ‘straighten him out’ meant ‘kill him’??” and forced him out/tried to avenge Genji, and only then did Hanzo think “Wait…..are you saying killing my brother…..was bad????” after which point he did some soul searching and came to realize what a monumentally awful thing he’d done. Who knows what would have happened if he hadn’t gotten his knuckles rapped? The family not wanting Genji dead makes a bit of sense as well, since why would the Shimada have this whole dedicated shrine to just Genji in the main house if they’d been of the opinion that he got what was coming to him? Why not just give him a fake burial and be done with it? 

So I think Hanzo’s guilt over Genji was more cause/effect than him feeling immediately terrible about doing a terrible thing by virtue of his own moral compass. Which isn’t to say he’s still not a more sympathetic character than r!Genji, he definitely is–but he also seems to have fallen into contrition kind of by accident, rather than as a natural human reflex haha

But the canon seems a little wibbly-wobbly on exactly what transpired amongst the Shimada, with the wiki giving a version that’s closer to the generally accepted fanon. So *shrug*. I think what we can take from it is basically that the Shimada are just generally a mess, no matter what’s going on haha

Pupdate

First puppet delivered without incident.
Was very well received.
Heart attack and/or meltdown averted.

Two puppets remain to be completed.
Comfortably close to finishing.


I think, aside from the weight of the world’s nonsense and all the stupid, stupid crap happening at me simultaneously, this project has gone pretty smoothly.
The builds themselves haven’t hit unexpected snags, they’re on time, and they look good to boot.
Plus they’ll be part of a stage show. That’s pretty rad.

I can’t say I’ve been handling the whole life thing with all its crushing absurdity and passive aggressive hostility very well.
But at least I’m achieving a decent standard of work, regardless.
As the world burns down around me and I try to carry on the best I can.

Sorry for the crap cell phone picture but, I got this tattoo last October and completely forgot to show you guys! I hope you guys love it as much as I do.

(The lighting really doesn’t do it justice – in the sunlight it looks like an actual burn. Some people THINK it’s an actual burn, the artist did a damn good job on it!)

Part of me is taking Cursed Child too seriously and wants to write a fucking dissertation on why it’s awful, disregards canon, is fan service to a ridiculous extent, PLUS ruins Harry and is generally ooc, completely absurd, and utterly terrible.

And the other half of me isn’t taking Cursed Child AT ALL seriously and is dying of laughter at the jokes that it lends itself to so damn easily like I’m scrolling through the spoilers tag and ROLLING with laughter alone in my bedroom at 3:30 in the morning I’m literally using humor to numb the pain and loving every minute

4
Mismatched Pieces

He can’t remember her…completely. He remembers bits and pieces, he remembers thoughts and feelings, sometimes sensations and sometimes more, but what he does know is that she can hold his hand and it won’t make him feel ill.

He misses that part.

[3313 words, post-Hell Bent, general G rating with some vague allusions to Things]

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