this is brilliant ok

A Corporation™©®: ah yes, we’ve discovered how to infiltrate the Ranks of The Youth™ and sell them Stuff©™®™©© we’ve cracked the #MillenialCode

Me: you’ve fucked up a perfectly good meme is what you did. look it at it. its got capitalism in it

Try to unravel this mystery, January.

I did it for the pun

y’all: jk rowling is an awful writer and terrible at worldbuilding i could have written harry potter so much better

me: ok… what are your brilliant ideas

y’all: intersectional feminist peter pettigrew (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

anonymous asked:

Bully lies unconscious on the floor with a bruise already forming on their chin. Hufflepuff stares at slytherin friend in shock. "What? You told me to stop hexing people" I love hufflepuff/slytherin friendships

  • “what? you told me to stop hexing people" 
  • for a moment the slytherin thinks the hufflepuff is angry
  • their mouth is still hanging open in shock
  • did they do the wrong thing?
  • they thought it was clever, using their fists instead of their wand
  • they only wanted to defend their friend
  • of anyone, a hufflepuff should understand friendship and loyalty right?
  • but then the hufflepuff starts laughing
  • “who the fuck taught you how to throw a punch!?” they exclaim
  • the slytherin is confused
  • because last time they checked, they had knocked that bully clean onto the floor
  • so what was wrong with their punch?
  • “you don’t hold your thumb inside your fist like that you dummy, the force of the punch can break it if you do that!”
  • “well how do i punch someone then?”
  • so the hufflepuff demonstrates the proper punching techniques 
  • and then makes the slytherin help them prop up the bully and carry them to the hospital wing
  • “i’m gonna get detention for this”
  • “you deserve it for losing your temper like that”
  • “yeah well at least i learned how to punch someone right… where’d you learn that by the way?”
  • the hufflepuff seems to hesitate, as if they’re too shy to admit it
  • and then they say, “i’m a half-blood remember? my mum was a silver medal boxing champion in the olympics. she taught me how to fight”
  • and the slytherin laughs because hufflepuffs
  • -but particularly this one with their fiery eyes, loud laugh, soft hair, crass humor, brilliant mind and rough hands-
  • never cease to amaze them
otp: you can’t leave (don’t) || kidge fanmix

“You can’t leave.” 

“You can’t tell me what to do.” 

LISTEN HERE. 

• TRACKLIST •

catch me | demi lovato • moonlight | ariana grande • YOUR UNIVERSE | rico blanco • mess we’ve made | aj rafael feat. tori kelly • latch (acoustic) | sam smith • first heartbreak | tori kelly • wait for you | elliot yamin  • lost stars | adam levine • heart like yours | willamette stone • shelter | ray lamontagne  

album art originally by @k-lionheart-art. this will also update randomly. 

hope ya’ll enjoy!   

anonymous asked:

Season 13/14 wish list item: for one of the bad guys to taunt dean and Cas and call them besties or bros and dean corrects them with "actually, he's my boyfriend" and then they kill the bad guy together.

I NEED THIS SCENE REVERSED (without Jesse/Dean being angsty about his dead brother OBVIOUSLY, just the fluffy part :p)

x  In a bar:

Random hunter: So I’m guessing you two are the legendary Winchester brothers right? 

Dean: Actually no, Sam just want to get the beers, this is Cas.

Random hunter: Oh, the ex-Angel, nice! Sorry, I assumed, you two bicker just like brothers!

Cas: We’re more like an old married couple actually.

Dean smiles shyly and nods his head a little, remembering Jesse and Cesar.

Sam walking over with the beers: So guys, get this…

And everyone just moves on with the conversation cos it’s so not an issue, everyone respects them and TFW kicks ass, are brilliant, fight the monster and save the day OK THANKS BYE.

anonymous asked:

What are the dads body type preferences?

Craig: Ideally I think that he would love someone who is in good shape so they can keep up with him on runs. However, I think that Craig wouldn’t mind a little bit of pudge on someone whether they’re a boy or girl. He loves nice toned legs on his partner. He doesn’t mind how tall or short someone may be and on women he prefers B and C cups . 

Brian: Brian doesn’t really have a preference in body types. He is very body positive considering he too is on the pudgier side and just loves a partner who is confident in their own skin. Brian doesn’t worry about anyone being taller than him since he towers at almost 6′4″, however in the case he finds someone taller, he’d be quite impressed by something like that. But in all honestly though, butts( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Damien: Damien has a preference for people with average to slim body types. To him someone who is more petite (not necessarily weight wise) is really cute but he also likes partners bigger than him. He likes the options of being able to either carry his partner bridal style or to be the one being carried. In the end, as long as his partner is healthy in terms of their body type and other genetic variables, that’s what matters most.

Hugo: Thick thighs save some freakin’ lives. Hugo has a thing for thicker or more musclely partners, but of course even the most voluptuous or really toned figure doesn’t beat having a brilliant mind! A little stomach pudge is ok in his books. If you happen to be a woman he prefers B to D cups but he doesn’t discriminate if y’know what I mean. Honestly, he just likes someone that makes a great cuddle buddy while he reads to them. 

Mat: Slender figures happen to fit his fancy. He loves a tall partner with a slender and/or fit frame. Many dancers for example may possess this body type. In the case that his partner may be taller than himself, he doesn’t mind that. Good news if you’re in the itty-bitty titty committee, this dad prefers A to B cups.

Robert: Robert honestly finds most bodies attractive, its all a matter of first impressions. Breast size doesn’t matter on a woman and on everyone a cute butt is a plus. He knows there’s beauty in all kinds of bodies and the variety gives him different experiences in bed. Shorter partners tend to be most preferred by this bad dad, he likes the dominance over them. 

Joseph: He likes a shapely but average built body type especially on a woman. Height doesn’t seem to be a problem when it comes to partners. When it comes to men, Joseph thinks average to in shape body types are attractive. Toned shoulders and arms on both men and women are admirable. This dad also has a thing for perky breasts. We’re looking at you Mary.

2

So I saw the Dear Evan Hansen matinee today (10/7) and Michael is finally credited as Alternate for Evan! So happy and proud!

(I promise I will post all about his performance and how wonderfully brilliant he is. I’m still not ok, it was the best afternoon I’ve ever had. I’m the happiest person right now.)

QUEEN OF THE ILLYRIANS

@huntress-of-velaris YOU WICKED BEAUTIFUL BRILLIANT THING.

I should explain. Ok. So. For those of you who don’t know, evidently, @huntress-of-velaris is rereading ACOTAR and has been noting how often SJM refers to Nesta as queenly or otherworldly, and made a comment about how Queen of the Illyrians would be a good start but GuYS WHAT IF

WHAT IF NESTA AND CASSIAN ARE MATES AND NESTA BECOMES QUEEN OF THE ILLYRIANS

THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES.

ALL THE ISSUES WITH THE GIRLS BEING UNABLE TO TRAIN WOULD BE ELIMINATED

THERE WOULD BE REAL PROGRESS ON ERADICATING THE WHOLE WINGS CLIPPING THING because God bless Rhys, but he has a hundred thousand other things to be taking care of and can’t supervise the Illyrians closely enough to ensure that does happen

AND CASSIAN WOULD BE BY HER SIDE THE WHOLE TIME

ALL HAIL NESTA ARCHERON, QUEEN OF THE ILLYRIANS 2K17