this is beyond shit

anonymous asked:

Just imagine Jon being evil and protective over Damian. Both Batman & Superman trying to get back their sons, and Jon just harshly rejects their help, stating that they are unable to protect Damian. Bonus points if Damian was unconscious in that tube thing with Manchester Black. Just imagine Jon being being possessive over Damian sleeping form.

Right?! Like I would have almost loved if Black Dawn took a turn like that. Where instead of being tortured into the brainwashing, he just gets in the brainwashing and Jon figures out his own weird set of morals and realizes that it’s not just that Superman is bad at his gig - all adult heroes are. They can’t protect anyone, they can’t protect children. So he gathers up Kathy and hides her safely behind Damian’s tube thing, meanwhile fighting the dads in front of Damian’s tube thing, screaming that they can’t get near him, they aren’t allowed, because he will not let Batman or his own dad get Damian hurt again, for as long as he lives. 

And Damian doesn’t wake up until way later, after Jon has spirited him and Kathy away into hiding away from everyone, and will not let another human being near any of them. Damian and Kathy are his now. His family. His to protect. His to love. And he will fight and maybe kill anyone who tries to get near them if he has to.

haha honestly, I’ve been trying to think up a story/scenario to write a fic about, where Jon is still evil/’Superboy Black’ and takes Damian/can only be stopped by Damian OR where they’re super-villain husbands where Jon is Superboy Black and Damian is (reluctantly, maybe due to Jon (ie would be evil to stay with his beloved), or by his own choice) the next Demon Head/Ra’s al Ghul (not mindwashed, he is still himself) and basically their families and the whole world is fucccccccccked.

But. I haven’t thought up a story yet, so it hasn’t happened haha. 

One thing I can’t get over in Star Trek Beyond is how when Spock starts laughing, Bones, for a quick second, looks really happy like damn I didn’t know you could smile it’s a good look for you. 

And then he immediately proceeds to panic because shit waIT THAT’S NOT RIGHT.

shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.

EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.

So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.  

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/Montco_principal_apologizes_for_having_swinger_entrepreneur_speak_to_kids.html

how do white people steal Black vocabulary from “yo” to “bruh” to “shook” and beyond but you say some shit like “they was talking shit” and they’re like “UHHHHHH HOW DO YOU READ THIS YOUR GRAMMAR IS AWFUL” like if you don’t shut yo bum bitch anchovy and mayo on wonder bread ass the fuck UP….

So, serious talk.

How is anyone supposed to both have a full time job and be a solo 1d fan?

Like… how?

How?

There are older men in everything. Men don’t grow up with the idea that they’re somehow obsolete with age. Old men are brilliant, charismatic, fun, flirty mentors in everything the media puts out. They’re prestigious and powerful. Even if they’re abusers, they’re just misunderstood and broken hearted and it’s all very poetic.

Women are told that they peak at 18 and any nubile looks they maintain are a saving grace. Women are told that they’re worth precisely how much they can ensnare or seduce or benefit a man. Women’s lives, according to our society, begin at 18 and end at 29. If we manage to maintain the whole “young & fun” air we can get away with maybe a couple more years of being considered of worth.

Women don’t lose their vitality according to societally defined ideas about our age. Men aren’t the only ones who stay vital and passionate into their sixties. Young girls growing up have tragically few role models to look up to. They’re told there is nothing for them beyond being hot shit in their twenties.

i think the issue w non-smoking “awareness”/propaganda is that 1) it is very obviously not aimed at poor people whatsoever, and ppl below the poverty line make up the vast majority of smokers 2) has laughably never considered that some kids start smoking as fucking teenagers because their parents do bc poor people couldn’t afford to quit when all the upper and middle class ppl did bc they found out it was toxic 3) seems to divide the issue of smoking into Wholesome Non Smokers and Dirty Smokers Who Contribute To The Problem instead of tackling the circumstances (poverty, stress, addiction) that can lead to cigarette smoking. the lack of care for current smokers is really jarring and sad, esp in the teen-oriented ads – the kids offering the Wholesome Teenage White Girl a cigarette are presented as Bad Kids when that never fucking happens and cigarettte smoking as a teenager is usually something that happens bc of poverty, hard drug use, and stress. making smokers feel like shit for smoking is beyond a useless and futile tactic

Nosy Rosy Big Brother

Originally posted by oldbucksicle

Summary: Dean’s hit with a strong case of curiosity. Pure, uncontrollable curiosity that leads to him finding a treasure trove of nasty little things.
Paring: Sam/Reader, Dean/Reader (kinda), Implied Sam/Reader/Dean at the end
Word Count: ~2.5K
Warnings: FILTH. At this point it’d be easier to name what’s not in this fic, but I’ll name a few that are; smut (obvy), dirty text, nudey pics, sex videos of Sam/Reader, masturbation, anal play, anal sex, vaginal sex, dirty talk, copious amounts of semen, Sam’s a big fan of creampies (both of the butt and vag variety), more masturbation, voyeurism, NSFW gifs just to really mess y'all up :)
a/n: aight don’t judge me but I only have one fic to post today bc school’s got me fucked up and has literally sucked my soul from my body. I’m still working on some of the requests you guys have sent in and other WIP’s as the mood/will to do anything but cry in a corner hits me (lol but I’m fine tho I swear) I hope you guys enjoy my contribution for Smut Appreciation Day 2017!



The first time Dean “snoops"—it’s by total accident. 

Sam had lent him his phone after Dean’s had been compromised on the hunt that they had just finished. Long story short; phone in pocket plus getting pushed into pool by werewolf equals no bueno. Dean pulled up the messaging app to shoot the hunter that been helping them out a text to let him know that everything had been squared away, but when Dean went to tap compose message, his thumb took a sharp left and ended up pulling up the messages between you and Sam. 

Keep reading

misschanandeler-bong  asked:

Okay, but can we talk about the A+++ casting of GDubs, Le Petit Baguette, and the Angry Smol? Half the time they look just like they stepped out of a damn painting. Especially Le Petit Baguette, who consistently looks like 'Why am I 'ere, George? Why eez eet so cold? Why am I better zan everyone else 'ere?' And Angry Smol busts in for like, two lines, and somehow manages to flirt with someone else's wife just by smirking at her. Just, A+++ casting, AMC. Good job. Two thumbs up.

THE CASTING IS SO GOOD????? 

I legit have never in my entire 21 years on this godforsaken water orb seen a more perfectly fucking casted show. 

I MEAN

I AM 99.998% THEY WENT BACK IN TIME AND NABBED THESE LOSERS FROM THE ACTUAL REV WAR LIKE IF NOT THEN ITS OBVIOUS THAT SOMEONE

CLONED

T H E M

JOBDSFJGNLD??


aLSo they’re acting is spot on as well. God bless this perfection.