this is better quality and i'm having too many twin feels

Be Yourself

“I have something to tell you.” 

When someone starts off a discussion with that sentence, its usually not a good thing. When your mother starts off things that way, you knew something was up. She sat you down at the dining room table with a serious expression on her face. 

Your mother was everything to you. you never knew your father, your mother told you he left a few months after you were born. And here she was telling you that he just passed away. 

There wasn’t really any emotion from you, as you never really knew what the man even looked like. She expected that from you though, it was just a courtesy to lead you into the next bit of the conversation. 

“There’s…something I’ve never told you about. When your father left…he…he took your sister with you.” 

Shock couldn’t even begin to describe the emotions you were feeling. Anyone would be surprised to find out they had a twin they never knew about. Now that he passed away, your mother was her legal guardian and she would be moving to Korea with you in a few weeks. 

It was a bit hard to process anything that was going on, and you thought it would help if you told your best friend. Turns out he was more excited than you were. 

“Oh my God, you have a twin? That’s so cool! Where is she? Have you met her? Does she look like you?” Sehun was practically bouncing off the walls of your room, expressing his excitement. He said you needed a sister to make you more feminine, whatever that meant. 

You were feminine, just not a girly girl. You didn’t wear excessive amounts of makeup and your fashion was chic and simple, but not sexy like how guys normally liked. But Sehun said he never really cared for girls who showed off too much skin. You were perfect as is. 

That was the reigning joke, because he knew you didn’t need to be more feminine to be better. Just the fact that he would all you perfect made your heart swoon every time. Because with Sehun, it was really hard not to swoon. 

At first, you rejected the idea that you fell in love with your best friend. But then you thought about it. Where else would you find a guy who would constantly tell you that you were perfect being yourself? Nowhere, because there was only one Oh Sehun. 

“Calm down you crazy. She’s coming in a couple weeks. Mom said she lived in London with my dad.” 

“London? That’s amazing! I mean, anywhere is better than here.” 

You rolled your eyes, “You say it’s perfect here.” 

He cheekily smiled at you like he always did. “Here IS perfect.” That always meant it was perfect with you, and you honestly felt like the most special girl in the world. 

Then again, that was Sehun’s special power to make you feel that way. The moving process was a bit different for you. There was a spare bedroom in your house, a bit smaller than your room. 

You would have thought your new sister was going to move into that room. You were a little more than put off when your mother told you to move all of your things into that room, so your sister could have your room. The room that you had lived in all of your life wasn’t going to be yours anymore. 

Sehun was there every day to help you with the move, anticipating your sister’s arrival more than you were. The day had finally come. All of your sister’s bags had been mailed over, and your mother was picking her up from the airport today. 

You were frantically pacing back and forth, hoping that you would get along with her and that she liked you. You made sure to tell all of your friends to be nice to her and to make sure she felt included in things. All that was left was actually meeting her. 

The front door clicked open and a smile instantly hit your face. First your mother walked through, a somewhat unreadable expression from her. You thought it odd, but remembered that she had also met the daughter she never knew. 

And in walked your twin sister. The likeness of the two of you was incredible, almost as if you were looking into a mirror. There was no doubt that the two of you were twins. But as you looked closer, you started noticing some differences. 

Yes, you admit there were similarities between you two, but her face seemed just a little smaller and a little more structured than your round one. Her hair was lighter and much more lush, her legs skinnier and a nice pale color. Something dark inside you said she looked like the better version of you, but you forced the thought out and said it wasn’t true. 

Her name was Hana. You learned that for the most part, the two of you were very similar. That night, she spent the night in your room and all you did was talk. 

One night wasn’t enough time to learn everything about each other. She talked about her time in London, you talked about your time in Korea. All of your friends at school lavished over her, saying the likeness between you two. Even Sehun was surprised how similar you were with Hana. 

They were so curious about her, you felt bad at all the questions they were spewing. Because Baekhyun always talked the most, he was the one to ask the most questions. 

“Where did you live before Hana?” 

“I lived in London.” 

London was apparently fascinating to everyone because they looked at her in awe. “Wow, so you can speak English?” 

It was pretty much like this all day, especially with Baekhyun asking so many questions. She smiled and you were really glad she was able to get along with all of your friends. 

“I think I’m better at English than Korean. It’s a bit fuzzy sometimes.” The group shook their heads in disagreement and told her it was perfect. Baekhyun nudged your side and giggled. 

“You know you suck at English. Maybe you should learn a thing or two from Hana.” Everyone laughed along with the joke, but something didn’t sit well with you for some reason. They never made a crack at your English abilities before, why was it so easy to compare with Hana? 

You brushed it off and made Hana stay close to you throughout the day, showing her the ropes of the school. The next few weeks, Hana was slowly adjusting to life with your family, adjusting to the fact that you were her new family. 

She was honestly the best sister you could have asked for, and you were learning to love your other half. It was everyone else that made you a little weary. In those few weeks, everyone except Sehun had made little comments about you and Hana. 

Why you couldn’t show a little more skin like Hana. Why you couldn’t be nicer like Hana. Why Hana’s grades were better than yours. At first you chose to ignore it, because like Sehun always said, there wasn’t anything wrong with the real you. 

Yet you felt Sehun saying it less and less as he was getting to know her more. Everyone around you suddenly drifted apart, all except Hana who you would already see at home. It was gradual, but you were starting to wonder if people were right about the differences between you and Hana. 

If Hana was the better twin after all. You felt yourself smile just a little bit less, and more observant to the way people paid attention to you and the way they weren’t. 

So what if your grades weren’t as good as hers or your skirt wasn’t as short? People seemed to like you before they had someone to compare with. Or maybe not. Maybe they didn’t like you as much as you thought. These thoughts were still troubling you, even though you were supposed to be focused on winning the video game you were playing with Sehun. 

It was sort of tradition to spend your Saturdays with Sehun at his house, playing video games. One second of distraction and Sehun beat you. “HA! I win!” 

The giant sitting next to you was always so competitive, and a pretty big sore loser. You grumbled and put your controller down, huffing out a short breath. “You’re losing you touch, bestie.” 

You scoffed. “Don’t get cocky Sehun. Maybe I let you win.” 

You joked. At least being with Sehun made your bad thoughts go away. But it was as if your brain didn’t match up with your heart, and you started thinking negatively again. You felt like it had been a while since you spent some quality time with Sehun. 

He would be asking you to invite Hana along to the things you two would do together, and in result spending more time with her than with you. And with Sehun, you always spoke your mind. 

“I feel like we haven’t done this in a while.” Sehun looked over at you with a skeptic eye. 

“Um, we do this every Saturday dummy.” 

You grumbled a little. “No, it’s not that. I mean…it feels like we haven’t hung out together lately.” 

You watched him shrug as he was trying to set up the next game. “What’s the big deal? We literally see each other every day. I’m surprised you’re not sick of stuff like this.” 

Something in your snapped. Sick of it? Was Sehun sick of hanging out with you all this time? That’s what it sounded like.

“What do you mean sick of…this? Aren’t we best friends?” It came out a little harsher than you intended, but if Sehun was really that sick of you, you might as well just find out now. The tension in the air was rising as Sehun was starting to get a little more irritated. 

“Yes, we’re best friends. But we literally do the same thing every time. It get’s boring you know.” He was just as quick to snap as you, but a bit more harsh with his words that seemed to come so easily. 

You scoffed, “Oh, so I’m boring now?” 

“God, will you just shut up already? Why can’t you be more like Hana?” 

You felt your heart shattering into a thousand pieces. That was the last thing you wanted to hear from Sehun. Sure, everyone else had been saying it…but your best friend too? 

Was she really that much better than you? You gulped back as your eyes started to sting. “What?” 

“You heard me. Hana doesn’t argue back to me like you do. It’s getting annoying. At least she actually cares enough about me and my opinion.” 

Oh no. You felt the tears coming on. In this whole time, you never once voiced your hurting heart to anyone, even now all you were asking was for Sehun to spend more time with you again. You were lonely, but it seemed like he didn’t care, not about you. 

“Sehun…do you have any idea how much I care about you?” 

His head shot up immediately at the sound of your broken voice. His fears had come true, but he didn’t know why. He was too focused in the fact that he was the one that caused the tears in your eyes. “Wh-why are you-“ 

You cut him off, wanting to get your final words out. “Sehun you’re my best friend. I…I love you so much but…if Hana is really that much better than me then fine.” 

You lost it. You had to find enough strength for you to finish, but either way, you’d be broken with a rejection. “I don’t think we should be friends anymore. I need to go.” 

“W-wait-“ You grabbed your stuff and brushed past him with force. He didn’t follow you out, which broke your heart even more. He was more focused on his brain developing the words you had said. 

You finally, finally confessed, and he just screwed everything up. For the next few days, Sehun knew you were avoiding him and it was slowly killing him to the core. He didn’t mean to get irritated, or snap at you. He especially didn’t mean to say the things he did. 

He agreed with you, that he missed hanging out with just you. But he was also feeling a lot of pressure with how uncomfortably close with your sister. After he had enough of the girl’s flirting he finally came out and said it, he wasn’t interested in her at all. Someone who had already shared his feelings was the one in his heart, but he screwed up his chance to say it back. 

The rainy day was fitting for Sehun’s mood, as it was full of dread. Not only was he afraid of losing his best friend, but also the love of his life. All of the students were jam packed in the cafeteria during lunch, the twin sisters missing from the group of friends. Right as Sehun sat down all of his friends were already talking about it. 

“Make Sehun do it, maybe she’ll talk to him.” 

“What’s going on?” The she could only be a number of people, and Sehun obviously started with fearing the worst. 

“Some students saw Hana on the roof and she hasn’t come down since the start of school. We’ve all tried talking to her but she refused all of us.” 

Sehun didn’t want to add fuel to the fire, but he was genuinely worried if a girl was out on the roof while it was raining. He left his lunch and grabbed an umbrella from his friend, and made his way through the crowded hallways to the roof. 

Sehun could see a girl curled up into a ball, looking down on the school. “Hana?” 

It was a simple mistake, so he thought. Only seeing that back of you, anyone would have guessed either one of you. but to add to your pain, it was only perfect that he called for her first. Just like everyone else. Oh Sehun no longer thought of you. 

“You’re the tenth person to do that today…” You mumbled, letting him know it was your voice and not Hana’s. Letting him know that you were not your sister made him a million times more worried. 

But the mere fact that your name came second to Hana made your head hurt, more than it already was. He opened up his umbrella and swiftly came over to you, yanking you underneath it. 

“Get out of the rain, you’re going to be sick!” You pulled out of him and away from protection. 

“Why don’t you go to Hana? You’re obviously more worried about her.” You started walking away from him again but he immediately called after you, pulling back on your shoulder with more force than needed. 

Sehun didn’t know at all about your current condition, but was quick to catch you as your body collapsed into his arms. He fell back onto the ground, keeping your unconscious body from hitting concrete. At first, he was in shock with your limp self in his arms.

The instinct kicked it, shaking you to wake you up. He scooped you up in his arms and ran for the door to the roof, first thing was to get you out of the rain. He felt your burning forehead and decided to call his friends, one to call an ambulance, and two to call a teacher. 

Sehun kept you close to him, trying to radiate as much body warmth as he could. Through the next hour you were admitted into the hospital, with Sehun never leaving your side. 

Hana was called out of school and the two of them went to the hospital with you. The longer you went without waking up, the more Sehun began to panic. Your mother wouldn’t be able to make it to the hospital for a while, due to the rain and awful traffic. 

The doctor was telling Hana what was wrong, but Sehun said he wouldn’t leave without hearing it also. “We’re going to keep her here for a few more days.”

 A deep shiver ran through Sehun’s entire body as he practically got into the doctor’s face. “What? Why?! It’s just a fever!” 

The doctor just sighed, and dropped his clipboard to his side. “I’m afraid it’s not just a fever, son. Our test results show that she is incredibly dehydrated and malnourished. She’s been seriously neglected eating and drinking. Along with that, her body is incredibly fatigued from stress. A few more days and she should be fine.” 

Sehun didn’t know whether he should be relieved, or more worried. As the doctor left, his eyes wandered over to you again. You looked skinnier, but Sehun knew it wasn’t for the better. You were never that careless, you loved food. 

There was a reason, and Sehun wasn’t going to leave the hospital without finding out. He told Hana she could go back to school, and that he would watch over you. He held onto your perfect hand for dear life, not once letting go. 

Though, his body was started to go against him, his stomach in particular agitated that he skipped lunch. Just for a single minute, he left you to go find something to eat. 

Your eyes slowly and painfully fluttered open. The only noise you could hear was a steady pulse from a heart monitor immediately notifying you of the place you were in. the memories of how you got here were beyond fuzzy, but nonetheless you felt almost worse waking up to a completely empty hospital room. 

No one was standing over you, waiting for you to wake up like how the dramas were on TV. You were alone, and that was something you were still trying to get used to. Though your head was pounding, you forced yourself to sit up, desperately needing water. 

From the amount of drugs in your system and your weak body, it was hard to sit up without toppling over. You felt your body sway again, with no strength to catch yourself. Your head crashed into a sturdy chest, with arms that wrapped around you, “Careful.” 

Sehun didn’t let go of you like you thought he would. It felt like the hug was more reassuring for Sehun. “Why do you have to make me worry so much? I felt like I was going to die.” 

Your eyes drooped down a little, but you let your head relax against his shoulder. “So dramatic.” You mumbled against him. “Sehun?” 

“Hmm?” “I’m sorry I’m not your perfect girl anymore.” 

A short gasp left his lips. “Shh, don’ you dare say that. You are beyond perfect, just you. No one else. I know what I said was wrong and I take it back. I…I love you too.” 

Sehun heard you soft sobs and held you even closer than before, whispering nothing but the sweetest words, just for you. You were perfect because you were you, and Sehun was yours. He loved you as much as you loved him, all because you were yourself.

Two days left and I move back into school…OMG