this is because i love you gina

10

So, are you ready, you think? To start dating? No, definitely not. My grief group said that I wouldn’t be ready until I can get through the whole story of Michael’s death without tearing up.

jaimecamil We adore you @brettdier ♥ You are everything #JaneTheVirgin

justinbaldoni It’s so rare to meet someone who can instantly make a gloomy day feel so endlessly bright. There wasn’t a day I didn’t look forward to coming to set and laughing with you brother. You are my favorite (and only) alien friend I’ve ever had, and this journey wouldn’t have been anything close to as happy, fun or meaningful without you. You were my first bromance and no one will ever replace you- not even the super handsome and charming @jaimecamil. That place in my heart is carved out for you my brother. I can’t wait to see what you do next! Hollywood - if you are reading this…get ready because @BrettDier is the future. I love you man. We already miss you so much dude. This was tough. #TeamMichael forever. 

anonymous asked:

Hey April! You're are always so critical, and I love your opinions and how sure you are when you're talking about it. So I was wondering, why do you ship Bellarke? I would love to read your reasons.

Why do I ship Bellarke? The basic reason:

The show wants me to. They’ve been setting up the story of Bellarke (both as individuals and as a couple) since the first Season. 

The more complicated reason:

I very rarely see a relationship on TV (and especially the CW) as carefully crafted as Bellarke has been. It’s enemies to friends to lovers done right. Bellamy and Clarke began as antagonists in a world that was trying to kill them all and struggled to overcome the inherent class differences (which is why Clarke has problematic white savior tendencies, btw) in order to create a co-leadership dynamic that was so great to look at. 

By the time the Season 1 finale rolled around, we had two individuals who didn’t just need what the other offered (Bellamy brought heart to the table, while Clarke brought logic) they wanted it and recognized that together their potential for leadership was so much greater than individually. This is the Season where Need and Trust are established in their relationship.

In Season 2, we spend the first half watching them literally fight to get back to one another? And when they are reunited? It’s explosive. Then we watch them go on their separate journeys over the rest of the Season, both struggling to find a balance inside themselves (and both failing). Without each other, both lose help and both find that their leadership is just not as effective. This is the Season where Love is established (definitively on Clarke’s part) in their relationship.

Season 3 was rough for us, I’ll give you that. Our ship spent the first half of the Season seemingly on opposite sides (I say seemingly because when push came to shove, they were both doing what they thought was necessary to save their people) of a war. They’d both found love with other individuals (Gina and L/xa) and both were happy with those two, even if just for a moment. 

However, I’d argue that both Gina and L/xa represent the same thing for Bellamy and Clarke. A love that was true and real, absolutely, but that was also an escape. Neither Clarke or Bellamy were their true selves when they were with L/xa and Gina. Both refused outright to discuss their trauma with their love interests (also of note-L/xa’s refusal to discuss parts of her own past with Clarke), both love interests existed in a world apart from the horrors that Bellamy and Clarke were dealing with on an every day basis (Bellamy about Gina- “Gina was real.”, Clarke about L/xa- “L/xa was special.”) and both love interests were murdered (notably wounded in almost the exact same ironic way-Gina, an Arkadian (technologically advanced), killed by stab wound to the abdomen, L/xa, a Grounder (technology resistant), killed by a gunshot wound to the abdomen).

With each other however, Bellamy and Clarke don’t have to put up a front. They’ve witnessed the trauma the other has suffered and in most cases, have been a participant (Charlotte, the Ring of Fire, The Mt. Weather Irradiation, etc). They are the only two people in their world who truly know the weight of the actions they’ve committed because they’ve committed them together. It’s why Clarke felt confident she could leave Bellamy at the end of Season 2, it’s why Bellamy felt comfortable opening up to Clarke in 108, it’s why they had that “moment” in 403, it’s why their leadership (and their relationship) is front and center in Season 4. 

Clarke and Bellamy can only be real, can only be their true, vulnerable selves, can only show how broken they are with each other. Without each other, they falter, just look at 404. Look at Bellamy, who is telling Kane that he is hopeless and compare that to the Bellamy of 403, who tells Clarke he has hope because they’re still breathing. Look at Clarke, who in Episodes 401-3 was been able to present a strong front to the public (even if she’s unsure in private) and compare that to the Clarke of 404 who is visibly worried, who doesn’t know how to fix the anger of the mob, who has to be saved by Jaha. 

I love Bellamy and Clarke because they are complete with each other in a way they’ve never been with anyone else. I just….love them.

10

Fangirl Challenge: [3/15] Parent/Child Relationships » Jane and Xiomara

“First, of course, I’m so proud of you. But that’s nothing new because I’m always proud of you, Jane. I am. Of the person you are and the choices you make and the way you live your life. It’s inspiring, I swear I don’t know how you do it. And now you’re having a baby and I really hope that you get to have a moment like this with your kid one day. So that you get to feel the way I’m feeling about you right now. I love you.”


This is a special gratitude post for @hereisgina, my bad-ass acting partner and friend, who I’ve witnessed time and time again over the last 3 years put everything she has into our show. Who is in almost every scene, and usually ends up working 14 hour days every day. Who seems to have an endless supply of energy despite publicly fighting #Hashimotos…which I’m pretty sure no one even notices or remembers because she a warrior and never shows how tired her body probably really is. Who even on minimal sleep, somehow always knows her lines and always delivers insane, emotional and brilliant performances that make America  laugh & weep every week. But perhaps most importantly, is someone who treats everyone she meets with love and respect no matter how overworked, tired, or stressed she might be. I can write this because I’ve seen it firsthand, over and over again… and I know that to show up the way she does every day takes nothing short of a superhero.
Grateful for you today G. Thanks for inspiring all of us. And since you dedicate one day a week to lifting up and recognizing others in this business who  are doing great things… I think it’s only fair that you let us do the same thing for you. #icaniwill #janethevirgin #loveyouTVbabymamma #warrior

justinbaldoni: This is a special gratitude post for @hereisgina , my bad-ass acting partner and friend, who I’ve witnessed time and time again over the last 3 years put everything she has into our show. Who is in almost every scene, and usually ends up working 14 hour days every day. Who seems to have an endless supply of energy despite publicly fighting #Hashimotos…which I’m pretty sure no one even notices or remembers because she a warrior and never shows how tired her body probably really is. Who even on minimal sleep, somehow always knows her lines and always delivers insane, emotional and brilliant performances that make America laugh & weep every week. But perhaps most importantly, is someone who treats everyone she meets with love and respect no matter how overworked, tired, or stressed she might be. I can write this because I’ve seen it firsthand, over and over again… and I know that to show up the way she does every day takes nothing short of a superhero.
Grateful for you today G. Thanks for inspiring all of us. And since you dedicate one day a week to lifting up and recognizing others in this business who are doing great things… I think it’s only fair that you let us do the same thing for you. #icaniwill #janethevirgin #loveyouTVbabymamma

Future Kids- Andre Burakovsky

Originally posted by tjgoalshie

Ok so this is kinda short but cute and fluffy. Andre needs children. Stat. Ok so I got not much else! Enjoy!

Warning: None

Anon Request: would you mind eventually doing one where you like help babysit a friends kids with andre b and you both love seeing each other playing with kids so then you have “the talk” when you get home of having kids, how many, names, what theyll look like, idk something like that? thanks for writing for all of us! and thanks for writing so many with andre! :)

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

Keep reading

Let the record reflect

I am high-key ecstatic that Clarke is finally expending her time and love and affection on a canon sexual partner who actually deserves it. Someone who is not only kind, smart, brave and beautiful, but doesn’t expect anything from her and has never not once let her down. Literally never, even when you wouldn’t blame her for telling Clarke to take a running jump

I have Bellarke shipper goggles welded into my eye sockets but even I can see that from Clarke’s POV the actual best thing she can do for Bellamy right now is ship him with support and unconditional friendship while he navigates the fallout from a catastrophic family breakdown and crippling guilt. He isn’t in the headspace for affection, let alone love and if I loved him like Clarke loves him (who am I kidding, I totally do) I would stay quietly by his side and let us both heal from our respective wounds before encroaching on anything further.

If I wasn’t Bellarke or die I would ship Clarke with Niylah forever.

(I got mega Gina vibes from 406 okay and I will forever love Gina and Niylah because when Bellamy and Clarke were lonely and lost Gina and Niylah were there for them #ripgina)

Tagging @verbam​ because I know you share my Niylarke feels :)

Anyway...

I’ve noticed some people are bothered when people point out (rightfully) that the beautiful Clarke/Abby scene where Clarke discusses her love for L/xa could even possibly be a Bellarke moment. 

The thing is, you all seem to believe that we are saying this is a romantic Bellarke moment. This thought process ignores the fact that Bellamy and Clarke were friends before anything romantic began to develop between them. A large part of the reason people ship Bellarke is because the relationship is rooted in mutual respect, trust and love for one another. This thought process also ignores the fact that Bellamy has also lost someone he loved very recently. 

Bellamy looks at Clarke not because he is jealous or angry. He looks at Clarke with sadness and empathy. His friend is hurting. His friend whom he loves. He understands this pain. He has just lost Gina (whose death was mentioned just prior to the jail scene, by the way). 

Also, we’re not even the ones who made this a Bellarke moment! The camera and editing department did that for us! There is literally a two fold fade in to Bellamy here:

We first see Kane, who is looking down, but the cell is obviously pretty small, he can hear what’s being said between Abby and Clarke. He glances up and looks to the left, perhaps just to check his surroundings. He’s clearly not thinking that the conversation is having any effect on Bellamy. His initial intent is probably just to make sure he’s ok because they’re in prison. 

However, he very clearly does a double take, which implies that he sees something in Bellamy’s expression that makes him take a closer look. After Kane’s double take, the camera shifts focus and brings Bellamy into the scene, we are seeing the expression that made Kane do a double take. 

The camera stays on this expression for a beat. Bellamy is looking at Clarke and Abby, his expression somber. If you look closely at his facial expression, you can see pain there. This conversation does pain him, but not because he’s jealous. He doesn’t want to see Clarke hurting, and perhaps he’s also thinking of Gina’s death in this moment. Gina whom he loved and lost to tragedy, much as Clarke lost L/xa to tragedy. 

Finally, we have the close up shot of Bellamy, where he shifts his eyes away from the intimate moment between mother and daughter and to the side. He even turns his head away a bit as well. Perhaps seeing Clarke in pain bothers him, but I think it’s more likely that he is taking this time to reflect on his own loss. 

Stop being upset because the narrative is linking the very similar stories of our main characters into one coherent story.

Bellamy and Clarke’s Relationships - The 100

Originally posted by micaelaqueen15

Originally posted by azzipzard

Finn was very kind-hearted and fun, but he would do anything and I do mean ANYTHING to protect Clarke.  She gave him up for Raven, but that doesn’t mean that she didn’t love him or need him in her life.  She loved him so much that she ended his life in the quickest way possible, so the grounders wouldn’t have a chance to make him suffer.

Originally posted by moresassythanclassy

Originally posted by stiles-lydia

Gina was there for Bellamy when he needed someone the most.  He was a part of the impossible decision that was Mount Weather and he needed someone to help him through that darkness.  Gina was so happy and she was his little flicker of light for that time.  He felt so guilty when she died in Mount Weather and that was just the start of his descent onto the wrong side.

Originally posted by cohenisabadass

Originally posted by sparia-slays

Lexa may not have understood a lot about these sky people, but she knew who Clarke was.  She brought Clarke back from the wilderness, both literally and metaphorically, and she cared so deeply for her. Clarke isn’t very good at expressing her feelings, but she loved Lexa so deeply.  Clexa is such a force to be reckoned with, because these are two strong female leaders that only show real weakness when it comes to the other person.  They are loyal to their people, but they always tried to protect each other in any way that they could.  With her dying breath, Lexa wanted to make sure that Clarke was going to be safe and Because a little bit of Lexa was in the flame, Clarke guarded it with her life.  That was her last little piece of Lexa and it took her a long time to let it go.

Originally posted by bellarkeskebab

Originally posted by whataboutourlifes

Bellamy and Clarke.  Where do I even begin.  They are the only ship that hasn’t actually been together, but they have so much depth to them.  They didn’t start off on the right foot, but they grew to be allies and lead the 100 together.  They became much more than that, though.  They would do any and every thing for each other. They have so much chemistry and they have been there through it all.  When Bellamy found out that Clarke was kidnapped by Roan, he disguised himself and went into enemy territory to find her and when Roan found him, she begged him not to kill Bellamy.  These two have been through hell and back, but they took the journey together and they keep each other centered. I can’t even imagine what would happen if something really bad were to happen to one of them.  The Brave Princess and the Rebel Leader.

Originally posted by rhysfaerye

Originally posted by saviourblake-archive

Now obviously, these two are my OTP of this show, but i didn’t want to discredit all of their past relationships.  They made them who they are.  They were a big part of them for a matter of time and honestly I love love, so I didn’t complain about anything in this show. I love each and every one of these relationships, because they were happy. Happiness+Love+Crazy Stuff= GOLD

justinbaldoni: This is a special gratitude post for @hereisgina, my bad-ass acting partner and friend, who I’ve witnessed time and time again over the last 3 years put everything she has into our show. Who is in almost every scene, and usually ends up working 14 hour days every day. Who seems to have an endless supply of energy despite publicly fighting #Hashimotos…which I’m pretty sure no one even notices or remembers because she a warrior and never shows how tired her body probably really is. Who even on minimal sleep, somehow always knows her lines and always delivers insane, emotional and brilliant performances that make America laugh & weep every week. But perhaps most importantly, is someone who treats everyone she meets with love and respect no matter how overworked, tired, or stressed she might be. I can write this because I’ve seen it firsthand, over and over again… and I know that to show up the way she does every day takes nothing short of a superhero.
Grateful for you today G. Thanks for inspiring all of us. And since you dedicate one day a week to lifting up and recognizing others in this business who are doing great things… I think it’s only fair that you let us do the same thing for you. #icaniwill #janethevirgin #loveyouTVbabymamma #warrior

bethanyactually  asked:

Jeff/Annie and Gina/Rosa? :)

Jeff/Annie:

  • who holds the umbrella when it rains: Jeff. It’s pure logistics. He’s so tall! If Annie was holding the umbrella, he’d probably risk decapitation.
  • who is the grumpiest in the morning: I could see Annie being grumpy before her caffeine, whereas Jeff sort of maintains a consistent level of grumpiness all throughout the day. Also, I feel like Jeff would be dangerously amused by grumpy Annie.
  • who worries more when the other is sick/hurt: I feel like Annie would worry a normal amount and probably coo at Jeff sympathetically a lot, but Jeff would try to act chill about it and then legit cry in the bathroom because he could not bear to see his beloved suffer so.
  • who plays pranks on the other: I feel like they probably both play pranks on each other, almost always because another member of the study group (or many!) is in on the scheme.
  • who is always the first to suggest cuddling on the sofa: Jeff literally first suggested it in HIS VERY DAYDREAMS.
  • who insists on creating nicknames for the other: Based upon her dragon list, I could see Annie coming up with a pretty extensive nickname list for Jeff. Then she runs them all by him and he ranks them on a scale from 1 to 5. (His favorite is “Jeff Pratt, Chris Pratt’s Hotter Cousin,” which he himself suggested and which really does not have any catchy nickname-like qualities. He just likes hearing Annie say that he is hotter than Chris Pratt.)
  • who drools on the other when they’re asleep: Jeff, and then he’s really horrified when Annie tells him about it.
  • who says ‘I love you’ first: Jeff. I like to think that it is a “Jeff rushes to Annie’s door because he can deny his feelings no longer (probably her temporary door because she’s off at her FBI internship) and confesses his love” situation, to sort of right the wrong that season two did us. If Jeff runs all the way to Washington D.C. in the rain, all the better.

Rosa/Gina (yay!):

  • who holds the umbrella when it rains: Rosa.
  • who is the grumpiest in the morning: Gina. I feel like, similar to Jeff and Annie above, Rosa’s mastered the art of all-day consistent grumpiness, but Gina is grumpy with THEATRICAL FLAIR in the morning. She probably threatens to burn the precinct down every morning and Rosa has to grab onto her ankle and try to forcibly pull her out of bed.
  • who worries more when the other is sick/hurt: I think they both worry about each other quite a bit, and everyone else makes fun of them for it because they both have reputations as such unfeeling stone cold B’s.
  • who plays pranks on the other: They do not play pranks on each other. They play pranks on other people together.
  • who is always the first to suggest cuddling on the sofa: I think it probably involves Gina seductively saying “You want a piece of this?” and then they sit down and watch The Great British Baking Show on Netflix and scream at the TV despite the results being long since decided.
  • who insists on creating nicknames for the other: Gina obstinately calls Rosa “Ro Ro” (’cause it rhymes with J.Lo, bitch!) and Rosa hates it with the fire of a thousand suns, but eventually answers to it. One day Boyle hears Gina call Rosa “Lil’ Ro Ro” and Rosa respond as if that is an acceptable thing, and on that day, Jake/Amy are temporarily his second place otp.
  • who drools on the other when they’re asleep: Rosa does once when she falls asleep after days working on a very exhausting case (maybe involving PIMENTO being EVIL!!!!! … ahem), and Gina doesn’t dump her immediately and flee the country, and that’s when Gina knows that true feelings have awakened in her frosty diva’s heart.
  • who says ‘I love you’ first: Rosa says, “Hey, I love you” to Gina one day out of the blue after they’ve been dating for awhile. Gina panics and says, “Pshhhhhh, tell me something I don’t know, ho! YA BURNT.”, tosses her hair, and runs away. (She probably goes and hides in Babylon and CRIES, but this news will never be revealed to the public.) Jake becomes the very awkward go-between in this social situation. Eventually, Gina tells Rosa that she loves her too via public flash mob. It definitely ends with confetti falling on everyone and a dip kiss. Boyle cries. His two former lady loves, loving each other. It’s so beautiful!

justinbaldoni: This is a special gratitude post for @hereisgina, my bad-ass acting partner and friend, who I’ve witnessed time and time again over the last 3 years put everything she has into our show. Who is in almost every scene, and usually ends up working 14 hour days every day. Who seems to have an endless supply of energy despite publicly fighting #Hashimotos…which I’m pretty sure no one even notices or remembers because she a warrior and never shows how tired her body probably really is. Who even on minimal sleep, somehow always knows her lines and always delivers insane, emotional and brilliant performances that make America laugh & weep every week. But perhaps most importantly, is someone who treats everyone she meets with love and respect no matter how overworked, tired, or stressed she might be. I can write this because I’ve seen it firsthand, over and over again… and I know that to show up the way she does every day takes nothing short of a superhero.
Grateful for you today G. Thanks for inspiring all of us. And since you dedicate one day a week to lifting up and recognizing others in this business who are doing great things… I think it’s only fair that you let us do the same thing for you. #icaniwill #janethevirgin #loveyouTVbabymamma #warrior

anonymous asked:

So personally I think Bellamy started to love Clarke before she left, but do u think Bellamy loved Clarke during his relationship w Gina? Not to say he didn't love and respect Gina, but I always thought he was holding back unintentionally :(

I think Bellamy has loved Clarke since at least Season 2, I know he was attracted to her as early as 1x08 (Day Trip), I think he didn’t realize his feelings for Clarke until Season 3 (I’m specifically thinking of a certain scene where he’s passing out, but keeps his eyes on her.) I would say now that Bellamy’s feelings for Clarke are, to use Bob’s words, fully realized. He is aware of how he feels about her, but is choosing not to act on that because they only have 6 months to live, what’s the point?

So yes, I do think he was in love with Clarke during his relationship with Gina (just as I think Clarke, who is canon confirmed to have loved Bellamy since 2x09- “Love is weakness.”, “I was being weak.”, was in love with Bellamy while she was in a relationship with L/xa.)

I don’t think it’s disrespectful to either party. It’s possible to love more than one person at a time, especially when you aren’t even aware of the depth of your feelings in the first place. I do agree that Bellamy was holding pieces of himself back from Gina, but I don’t think it was unintentional. 

“Gina was good.” He didn’t want to tarnish her, so to speak, with the weight of all the horrific things he had to do to keep his people alive. There was very clearly a wall separating all of Bellamy from Gina. He only allowed her to see the pieces of himself he was OK with showing her. 

anonymous asked:

Really liked your meta on where Bellamy's feelings are currently at, you know, in love with Clarke and knows it, but doesn't think she feels the same. You touch on it a little, but I wanted to ask where you think Clarke stands? As in, does she realize he has romantic feelings for her and that she is in love with him, or is she still in denial about one or maybe both those things? Also, I'm curious when you think each of them realized that their love for each other isn't platonic anymore? Thanks.

Nonny, I’m gonna take your questions in reverse order for chronological reasons.  

To start: When did they realize their love wasn’t platonic?  

For this question, I’m gonna stick to just Bellamy for now because that’s a little easier to answer, and I’ll tackle Clarke’s feelings at the end.  Basically, I think he started to realize his feelings for Clarke were a little stronger than just your garden variety Platonic Love somewhere in 2B, but when she walked away in 216 he put those feelings on a back shelf.  When he found her in 302 they came bubbling back up, but he wasn’t really dealing with them/acknowledging them because of Gina– first because he was with Gina, and then because she died when he went to save Clarke and he felt guilty about that.  You could make the argument that he realized his romantic feelings for Clarke in 305 in a very heartbreaking fashion– because he didn’t want to love her like that, especially not right then– or you could put his acknowledgment of being in love with her at 313, because that’s a similarly emotionally honest moment for him.  I’d buy either explanation (and honestly, I bet Bob Morley can answer this question) and since those moments are like, idk, 10 days apart it’s not much of a difference.  The end result is, by the start of s4, Bellamy is firmly in love with Clarke and knows it.

As for whether or not Clarke knows he’s in love with her…I think she suspected it when he geared up to confess, but I also think this is probably her first inkling that his feelings for her might be romantic.  She was a little surprised when he left in 403, and I took that look of slight bewilderment to mean she didn’t get why he couldn’t stay and hug her like she wanted him too– and really, the reason I suspect Bellamy didn’t stay was because he knows he’s in capital-L Love and she isn’t, and so he left because that moment was about her needs, not his.  I don’t think she realized he loved her right then, but it was a tiny little flag in her brain, like something is up with Bellamy.  I also think when he left she realized she didn’t want him to go, and that was another tiny little brain flag: why did I want him to stay?

So like…here is where I admit that I do not think Clarke is in love with Bellamy quite yet.  She loves him deeply, but she lost L.exa like…two weeks ago. (Maybe a month ago, tops).  What she has with Niylah is simple and uncomplicated– friendship and sex– and I honestly don’t think she’s ready to consider romantic love right now.  That doesn’t mean she’s using Bellamy or she’s not worthy of him or even that it’s unfair of her to not love him back– she’s just in a different place right now, and there’s not a goddamn thing wrong with that.

But back to that moment on the beach.  Clarke is not generally the most expressive person when it comes to feelings (she prefers hugs to talking) so she’ll see how special you are was much more about how Clarke feels about Bellamy than how she thinks Octavia feels about him.  She saw her friend at a low point, calling himself pathetic, and goes that’s not true; you’re special.  It’s more than just a “buck up, buttercup” moment though, because she immediately breaks eye contact after she says it.  If she was just saying you’re my friend and I love you, she wouldn’t have needed to look away because she’s said that to him before.  She had no problem maintaining eye contact with him on Luna’s beach, but now she faces the water and her eyes are darting all over the place because for some reason, this moment is different for her.  I’m not sure she’s ready to put words to it, and I think it’s too soon for her to fully embrace romantic love for about 400 different reasons, but it is a sign that Clarke’s feelings for Bellamy are slowly shifting.

 When Bellamy says Clarke, if I never see you again…her brain finishes that sentence almost immediately.  She is, as I’ve said before, an expert at last-minute love confessions.  She knows where he’s going, and so she stops him.  I don’t think it’s because she didn’t want to hear it– although I think she’s probably reasonably scared of falling in love again, given how the previous two people she loved literally died in her arms– but because she knows he’s saying it because he’s hopeless.  Bellamy is basically saying goodbye, and Clarke is like …yeah no nice try you are gonna live FOREVER if I have anything to say about it.

I also think she stopped him because if he says it, that will change things.  (She also stopped him because I suspect the writers are going to pull up just short of full canon bellarke in s4, and having him say I love you in episode six of thirteen would be too soon).  Clarke is doing better than she has been in a long time, but she’s still fragile and healing.  Her previous two loves have ended incredibly traumatically, and they’re facing a dangerous, unstoppable foe.  She might not think love is weakness anymore, but she is going to be understandably gunshy about romance.

Mostly though, I think she stopped him because she doesn’t want him to say I love you at such a low, desperate moment.  He wasn’t going to say it because he thought he’d hear it back, he was going to say it because he’s worried this is their end.  By not letting him finish that thought, Clarke is telling him she believes in a future where he can say that to her without fear and hopelessness hanging over them both.

Distance - chapter 49

A/N - Chapter 49 of Distance is finished! Woohoo! I love this chapter too, because Kaidan finally sees Gina’s synthetic limbs and show’s her in his own special way how beautiful he still finds her. I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter! (Art is by @marceline2174)

FFnet: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10824329/1/Distance
AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2615129/chapters/22088900


Distance - Chapter 49

The Normandy hummed gently as she passed through the velvety black of space; almost completely silent except for the gentle thrumming of the engines. The sounds, so familiar and comforting, kept Gina company as she sat alone in her cabin, her stomach turning in knots as she waited for Kaidan. And waited. And waited. And waited. His heartbreak over the death of Rodriguez had been immediate and apparent, as had his self-recrimination. Jack hadn’t helped, and the biotic had predictably piled the responsibility for her death at Kaidan’s door, blaming him for slowing her down.

“We shouldn’t have stayed outside cowering behind rubble!” she’d railed at him furiously, her biotics burning around her in a halo of dancing blue flames, her anger and pain raging out of control. “This is your fault!” Jack had almost screamed, jabbing a finger into his chest; causing Gina to hold her breath as she waited for Kaidan to react. “I could have saved her! I could have saved her!”

But she couldn’t have, and some small part of Jack had known it.

Gina hadn’t been there when the temple had come down and Cerberus had initially attacked them, but one glance at Rodriguez’s broken body had been enough for her to see that the young woman had been crushed by a falling column when the roof collapsed. There was nothing anyone could have done for her, let alone Jack.

But Kaidan hadn’t said that; he had taken Jack’s wrath, all of it, until it had burnt itself out and she finally collapsed in on herself.

“This is my fault,” she whispered finally. “God fucking dammit! She shouldn’t have been down there! None of them should have; but I took them. I took them on this mission.”

“We both did,” Kaidan said eventually, and he stepped forward and placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “But it wasn’t our fault. We didn’t kill her; Cerberus did.”


Read the rest at FFnet: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10824329/1/Distance
Or at AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2615129/chapters/22088900

LOVE

so it’s interesting to me that we were all brought here by love. and yet, sometimes our fandom is just the opposite of that. judgmental, hurtful, mean, rude, etc. it has been nice to come back tonight and see all of these lovely messages of love on my dash. 

there’s a reason i’ve never done a follow forever or when i’ve gotten anons asking for a list of other blogs to follow, i’ve said no. i’ve been left out of things before, lots of times in fact, and it always sucks. i’d never want to be the cause of that for someone else. i’m going to try very, very hard here with my list of love.

the stay salty ladies. @alarrylarrie @louandhazaf @theonewiththebluemic @justafatbirdonaboat @fratboylouie @unintentionalarry amanda, nic, lu, katie, julia, ashlee. you guys are so great and i’m so lucky to have made friends with such lovely people. like nic said, the round robin of positivity is amazing. when one of us is down, another one is up, and we help each other through. and not just fandom stuff. you guys have made a huge difference for me, encouraging me to start writing and keep it up, but also other stuff. you know what i’m talking about. i’ve loved getting to know you guys and your families.

the fic chat. all of y’all… i feel like i totally failed you guys with the chat, but we’ve done alright, maybe? i think the best part of the fic club is the friendships that have been made there. i….. don’t want to tag everyone, because that’s really a lot of people to tag lol i’m going to tag a few of you though and hope that everyone sees this post! @loubeesarmy @beccasafan @happilylouie @vintage1der @justapayneaway @mydnytkiss  @harrysdandelion @melmanpur @moonblessd@choncetaking @millionlittletings @captiveharts @lifestyleofpj 

to the rose and dagger chat @nottooldforthisship @loveisalaserquest17 @melmanpur @allwaswell16 @doctorrainbows @tomlinshawpie @letsjustsee @softhie @assisreal @eachothershappyending @waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee i feel like i’ve forgotten someone… anyway, some of you i already talked to somewhat regularly, and i’m looking forward to getting to know the rest of you. i love that our no drama chat has turned into chat of cheese and cats and axes and idek what else. 

some other people @gettingaphdinlarry i don’t know you well, but i like what i know. you’re an awesome beta and super smart. 

@phd-mama getting to know you a little at a time. love your writing, but also that you are an hp freak like me. 

@nottooldforthisship i know i tagged you already, but i love ya. you’re awesome. what you do for the fandom with fic recs is amazing, but also what you do with supporting and encouraging writers is a big thing. i love it.

  @someonethatsfunny i don’t know you well, but i like you. you’re always super sweet when we chat <3 

@softlouiswarmharry you are always so nice about my fics. messaging me when you’ve read them and i just love getting feedback from you. 

@xabjectlessonsx phoenix you’re super super lovely, talented in many facets, and you love dolly parton and cher. enough said. i can’t wait to get my tattoo and send you pics! 

@mllesouthernbelle you called me your fairy larry god mom. i love it. love you!

@muchbetterjulia where are you even? i’m wondering about your hair. let me know. 

@annie-pie we tend to agree on so many random things and i love that i can message you and scream about things that will not be named. 

@waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee kk with our similar blacklists i feel connected to you lol sometimes i look at my dash and know that yours is the same, all little boxes that say “blacklisted because” 

@catp i connect with so many random things that you post. haven’t known you long, but still. LOVE.

@lucystarkid i love you! love your writing and all of the love you put into this fandom!

gdi @twopoppies i forgot you! i love you gina! you’re so talented and so sweet <3

last, but not least, i’m going to come back around and send more love to nic @louandhazaf because i love you extra.

okay that was actually really tiring because i’m sitting here completely paranoid that i’m forgetting someone. 

JUST IN CASE I’VE FORGOTTEN YOU, HAVE SOME EXTRA LOVE!