this is basically how i feel about a lot of things right now

pinkkawaiidiy  asked:

Hi, just want to vent for a bit... so my best friend is basically a SHIPPING QUEEN and we had a lot of fun shipping our friends but then she shipped me with my other best friend and he's a boy and ug things are just kind of uncomfortable right now. I wanted a close but platonic relationship with him but now whenever we're together, everyone's like "AHH THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER I SHIP IT!!!" so yeah life's great *laughs while crying on the inside*

aww im sorry to hear this. my best advice is to tell you friend how you feel about her doing that and to kindly ask her if she could not ship you and your guy friend together because it makes you uncomfortable! i hope this helps a little :D

new things & stuff

hey so first off,  i had a lot of fun doing the pixel challenges lately, i made some stuff i really liked & it kind of gave me time to think about new things & ideas

for a while now I’ve been feeling like i want to make some changes, and now i feel like it’s about the right time for me. i’m not exactly sure what i’ll be changing yet, but probably just experimenting a little with my art, a change in how my blog looks and maybe even …a URL change *dramatic piano keys*.. Put an end the ‘can you make *Insert random fandom thing* transparent for me xxxx thanks’ kind of asks haha, so yeah heads up on that

but i basically just want to refresh this blog & make some cool stuff & enjoy it more you know  ~

good times (ahead)   👌🗿🍷 


For all the Mogeko fans
Hi! Here is Knifedragon! The fan mogeko picture book YOAKENO HIKARI is on selling right now! But we do have some problems with it and we feel kind of upset about it, we want to tell you guys. As everyone sees, we have 100 books could sell, this result was basic on the volume vote of how many people want to buy this book, the result for it looks really good! We have more than 100 people want to buy the book! So we decided we will send 100 books from China to Canada even it costs more than 1000 USD. We want to give this first fan book to everyone mogeko fans on the world, not only China! But the selling will end very soon, only 17 days, the selling will end. But we only sold 21 books right now…… The thing is… If we can’t sold more than 80 books in the foreign country, we will lost a lot of money…… After this summer, I will go Vancouver for university, the postage is very expensive for more than 50 books from Halifax to Vancouver or back to China……. And if we lost that much money, we don’t think we will have activity like this anymore, many this is the last time. This picture book is the hard work for these 43 participants, we made this because we want to let more people like mogeko’s fantastic stories!! We are very proud we can go these far for all the people who sustain our idea! We need everyone’s help! Please let more fans or your friends who have interest of the book!!!!! We still want to bring more new fan stuffs for this beautiful mogeko’s world in the future!!!! Thank you all!!!

————————Selling right now————————-

By the way! Here are 2 samples of the gift picture!!!
Here is more information of the book!
Before you buy them PLEASE look at these notes:
1. The book combo is have two kind, one is USA only one is Global shipping.(except USA).
(a) If you are in USA please use the Link of USA only, we already add the postage in the cost.
The postage is 13 USD (plus the 3.99 USD that Amazon shows)
(b) If you are not in USD pleaeas use the Link of Other area, the postage should be $14.95 to $24.95, it will depend on where you are.
ATTENTION: All the USA buyers can not use this link, we will not take the Order.
2. The keychains are free shipping, but you have to buy the book combo with it, or we will charge you the postage.
3. The books combo has 1 book, 1 poster, 8 postcards.
(the special postcard are prescribe a limit to the first 30 people who place the order)
(the thanks drawing are prescribe a limit to the first 10 people who place the order)
4. The keychain suit have 4 different keychains.
5. The selling end up Jun 30th.
6. The order will be shipped in 2 busnessdays.
7. The modality of the shipping is small package air.
The shipping time:
To USA, CANADA and UK, Will use 4~10 busnessdays.
To other area might takes onlger than 4~10 busnessdays.
!Don’t have to see the arriving time that Amazon shows!
8. We have 95 books combo and 17 keychain suits can be sell.
We are very welcome people post the phone when they got the commodities! If you want to post the photos on Tumblr please add tag #yoakeno hikari# so we can see!

In which I rant at length (and at times angrily) about the 1994 BBC adaptation of Middlemarch. With literally all of the spoilers. Friends, I am not kidding, this post literally has quotes from the last pages of the book, do not read this if you don’t want to know how Middlemarch ends. Seriously.

Okay. This miniseries pissed. me. off.

I mean. Okay, part of it was hype. I hyped this thing up so much because Middlemarch is legit one of my favorite books (and probably the best book I’ve ever read), and I was so hungry for an adaptation to do it justice. And I knew it’d be hard, I knew it forever ago, because Middlemarch is one of those Big novels with all sorts of threads that interlock according to a very particular mechanism. I had a gut feeling that it would just be hard to adapt.

I was right.

As I was watching “Middlemarch”, a thought kept coming back to me. Middlemarch works as a single novel, because novels enable you to see into the character’s heart and mind in a unique way. Any straight adaptation would instantly lose a lot by attempting to recreate the multiple threads, because they would thin out the story. They’d interfere with the natural progression of each plot point, by instantly forcing the filmed version to cut to an unrelated story. I started thinking that there’s simply no way to properly adapt Middlemarch to the screen with all three stories told alongside each other, and instead began to imagine a series of three films that have overlaps in very specific points (but always from different angles).

Part of this, of course, is a personal preference within the narrative. Middlemarch focuses more-or-less on three main stories: Dorothea Brooke, Tertius Lydgate, and Fred Vincy/the Garths (with Fred’s story moderately less centered). The overall plot is one of a changing culture, a changing Middlemarch, a changing England, but this is reflected also in the internal affairs of each character. And so I’m going to set aside the wonderful politics for a moment, and focus on the personal relationships. Mostly the shipping, to be honest.

Because seriously does the BBC’s “Middlemarch” get it wrong

And now I rant extensively with lots of long and amazing quotes from Middlemarch under the cut. You have been warned.

Keep reading

Man I keep seeing these posts going around that just are all basically like ‘imagine how HORRIFYING it has to be for poor Lavellan to have to further the agenda of Andrastians!’  Which is hella legit, but I never see anyone posting about how traumatizing being the Inquisitor has to be for other races?

Seriously though:

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey, this is a little bit random but could I get your advice on something? I have a friend who has a lot of things going on with her right now, along with having depression. Recently she's become very distant with me and has been saying really mean things like "you're so stupid and annoying" and "Ugh you're being boring" in what I think she means to be a jokey way- but ends up sounding really mean. I've been trying so hard with the friendship, but it's kind of felt like she doesn't care. [1]

It gets really bad sometimes- especially now and she’s saying really hurtful things about me, and using me to vent out her frustrations because she knows I won’t really stand up for myself. She’s saying she’s mad at me and gets offended whenever I get angry with how she’s acting, and basically blames it on her depression. All in all, I feel as if our friendship is really toxic, but seeing as all of her friends are also my friends I feel like I can’t leave her. [2]

I’m sorry if all of this is a nuisance, I just wanted to know what I should do because I’m honestly lost. Thank you, and I love your blog :) [3]

Ask her straight up what is going on. Tell her exactly what she’s doing to you and how it’s affecting you. This is just so unhealthy and negative. A friendship should not be like this. You need to talk to her. And if she gives you a shitty answer then maybe you need to move on because this is just so unhealthy for you. You don’t deserve this. I understand that she might be going through some stuff but she should not be taking it out on you and making you feel worthless. So please, talk to her and do what’s best for you.

It’s so weird to be a fan of Ryan Ross. He does not release new music, he’s basically just… A normal guy, with a normal life. Still, I love him so much since I first saw him (2006), and, besides my mom (and myself and my best friend) there’s no one else I care so much about. I care about people, a lot, but what I feel for Ryan it’s not something I can put in words. I wonder how he is, every single minute. Is he ok? Is he eating healthily? Is he exercising enough? Is he sleeping enough? Does he feel loved? Does he need a hug right now? What is he thinking? And I just send so much positive vibes to him, and I just hope he’s OK, and know how much we appreciate him (not for the ryden thing, or just the panic, but for him), for who he is, and I just… He’s just so…

This man is gonna be the death of me. How can you love and care so much about someone you don’t even know in RL? (And, truth be told, doesn’t know you exist, and the probability of you two ever meeting is like, -100%, unless you move to cali and stalk him, not in a creepy way, but just in a “I love you so much, you’re so talented, please, sign my shirt, CDs, pictures, let me have a picture with you, let me hold you, I knew your skin was soft like this!, let me breathe the same air as you just for five seconds” way).

I don’t know what I am doing with my life, or what this post about anymore. Just one last thing:

Ryan Ross.

okay, so i was thinking about dottie and the scene where she buys the baby carriage:

a) her cover for planting an dangerous destructive object is a mother with a baby, because what does society see as more innocuous and docile?

b) when she’s asked to pick a blanket, she picks pink. she genders (in the way that society traditionally genders) her dangerous destructive object as a girl. we saw the absolute wreckage of the thing, while it’s wrapped in a pink blanket with all the connotations of a baby girl.

idk how intentional this is (especially the blanket), but i just really love that we’re equating women with power on both sides of this. yes, we have peggy kicking ass and being one step ahead, but we have dottie weaponizing the same sort of invisibility that peggy’s added to her arsenal. leviathan’s a formidable opponent right now largely because of dottie, largely because dottie’s playing by the same rule book that peggy is, and there’s this underlying thread of taking power right under everyone’s noses that’s pretty cool to see.

Someone needs to talk to me about Locus using the sword to unlock the temple like it was basically established multiple times that any schmuck who happened to pick up the sword before anyone else could use it was ‘worthy’ but Locus truly believed that only a worthy person could use it and activate the temple and it worked for him can we talk about how that must’ve done absolute wonders for his self esteem and now he feels that he’s able to make things right so that’s what he’s gonna do wow I hope we see Locus again I just really fucking love him okay

Hi everyone! Here’s the deal: recently, there has been a lot of things being said about how booklr is exclusive and somewhat of a clique, with the ‘popular’ blogs doing their thing and excluding everyone else. It has come to the point where some blogs, books-and-cookies and myself for example, have been getting pointed messages about this after we apologized for any inconvenience we might have caused. Booklr is an amazing community, and I hate the thought of people feeling left out from it, hence this post. As a follow up to my initial answer to this, here’s a little PSA about everything that’s going on. I am by no means the most popular blog on booklr, so I might not be the best person to clarify some of this stuff. Also, this isn’t meant to target anyone in particular or to insult anyone, I’m truly sorry if it does. Nevertheless, enjoy!

Let’s go over the basics:

  • Booklr is a community on tumblr, and it represents the thousands of book blogs big and small that use this platform to share their love for literature of all kinds. 
  • Any blog who posts mostly bookish things is considered a booklr, regardless of how many followers they have, regardless of whether all they do is reblog stuff. 
  • There are some booklrs with more followers than others, and that’s cool. 
  • There are some booklrs with little to no followers, and that’s cool. 
  • Booklr is a pretty sweet and kind community, where a lot of us fangirl/boy about our favorite novels. Most people are really nice to each other, and a lot of people have made friends here. We’re all a sort of big, cozy, nerdy family. 

Now, let’s get some debunking done on the ‘popular’ blogs: 

  • Like I mentioned above, some booklrs have a lot of followers, usually several thousands, and are deemed ‘popular’ by the community. These blogs tend to have a very crowded activity feed. They get lots of asks and all that jazz, and have been seen as intimidating or exclusive by some. 
  • There is a belief that all the popular booklrs are best friends and gang up together. It is false. Yes, most of the popular blogs know each other in passing, but I can guarantee you that no one is best friends with everyone. Most of us are only close with a handful of people.
  • One of the characteristics of booklr is how nice and supportive of each other everyone is, which is why many booklrs jump up then their mutuals get hate. We may not be best friends with all of them, but we do have respect for these people. So yes, we will talk about them and we will give them love and we will reblog their selfies and we will snap at people who are rude to them for no apparent reason. It’s only normal. 
  • Some people tend to forget that tumblr is *sadly* not a popular booklr’s job or anything. It’s a hobby. Many of us are students or moms and dads and people with busy lives. Running a popular tumblr takes time and dedication, two things we don’t always have the room for in our daily lives. We set up queues and try our best to answer everyone’s asks and do all the tags, but it’s overwhelming for us. We have friends and school and homework and jobs and families who need our time too. 
  • We are not purposely ignoring you. I cannot stress this enough. As I said before, we don’t have the luxury of spending our days blogging, as much as we love it, and can’t always answer every ask and do every tag game and check everyone’s blogs out. We try really, really hard, but there is so much to do and never enough time. Sorry, we’re human. 
  • Because of the reasons stated above, it’s sometimes hard for us to make the first step. Please, don’t every be afraid of sending us asks if you want to chat or if you want us to check out your blog. We’re all thrilled that people actually want to get to know us, and that people take the time to show us their blogs and so on. 
  • We all had no followers once. If you ever feel excluded from the community, please remember this. All the amazing, popular blogs were once nobodies with a note a day and two followers. We worked our way up, and we’re so happy to be where we are now, but we haven’t forgotten what it feels like to be the tiny little blog on tumblr. tilly-and-her-books, thebookhangover, thebooker, theboywhocriedbooks, bluestockingbookworm, bookdrunkinlove, bookmad, books-and-cookies, library-heaven, pollyandbooks, thewizardthatreads, beckisbookshelf, mariesbookblog and so many more amazing people were once little fetuses on tumblr. We know what it’s like, so please don’t feel like you aren’t famous enough, good enough, or known enough to interact with us. 
  • The ‘popular’ blogs are less scary than a newborn kitten. They’re literally all sweet little munchkins with a fiery love for reading and adorkable personalities. (Yes–adorkable.)

Okay, debunking done! Finally, here’s a reminder to every single blog out there, because this is truly the source of the problem and people need to understand this:

The popular booklrs never purposely exclude others from the community. If they do so, it’s purely accidental. A lot of people have placed us on a sort of pedestal as Bec so kindly pointed out. We have been put in an area that might seem unattainable and elitist by some people. We adore every single one of our followers, and love the support everyone here gives us, but I’d just like to remind you: we never asked to be considered a clique. We never knew tumblr would come so far for us. A lot of us don’t even understand why we are considered ‘popular’. We try so hard to get back at everyone, and we try so hard to make sure not a single person is left hanging. It’s time we take from our lives to make these blogs work the way they do, hard work we’ve all put into our photography, our themes, our posts, our giveaways. And you know what’s worse? Some of us try to figure out what the problem is, apologize for making the community seem this way, and we get all the blame, with snobby anons telling us we should try harder. We do our best. You also have to reach out, or else we’re not excluding you, but you’re excluding yourself.

So please, for fuck’s sake, don’t blame us if we can’t reach out to you. I’ve told you know, our feed is too crowded and messy for us to do that with everyone. We’re not scary people, and we really love talking to all of you, whether it’s about your problems, a book, your pet wyvern, whatever! You never, ever bother us guys, remember that. We are so thankful for all of you, for the support you give all of us, and for the unfailing kindness you have added to this community. Thank you. 

This has been a PSA. 

Con: The key to fixing a lot of negative reoccurring thoughts is to train yourself out of it. What I mean is that when I was a very mean girl and I would just talk shit to people because of my own insecurities, i decided to stop and how I did it was basically every time I said or thought something mean (no lie) I told myself “stop!! That’s mean apologize” and I would apologize either in my head if i thought it or out loud if I said it. To this day I’m not a person who says mean things about people tho I do admit I think it from time to time. Now I also feel this can help others black women (it actually helped me a lot)to train themselves so that positive remarks about yourself is almost like a habit rather than negative. Whenever you say something degrading about yourself just kinda stop yourself and say “no that’s not right I’m beautiful, smart, and any person would be lucky to have me” or a better way would be to constantly compliment something you’re insecure about. For me it was my skin color so I would say “my skin is so pretty and dark and beautiful” or for me nose I would say “this wide nose is perfect for me and any other size wouldn’t make sense”. After a while your first instinct after constantly stopping bad thoughts for positive thoughts, would be to think and actually believe the positive thoughts. Once you shed the negative thoughts and become more familiar with the positive ones, you’ll notice and believe in your beauty. ALSO if someone belittles you just think “why would I listen to what someone has to say about me? I know my beauty better than anyone else, I know my pros better than anyone else and my worth too.” this has helped me a ton dealing with mean comments. I was the person who wrote about my struggle from grade to grade and this method is what really turned things around for me so that I now have a really high self esteem, I mean I’m not perfect we all have our down days it’s just my up days are WAY more common which wasn’t the case in the past. I hope you guys try it out for this year or maybe for months and see if it helps a little or at all. It may sound stupid but I would love to help anyone of you in any way I can so that you too can see how pretty you are and we can start seeing less of these “I’m ugly” posts and more “I know I wanted GOD to make me beautiful but damn he done went above and beyond” posts.

The thing is, asexuals need more representation in media. I get that. And I want stories that don’t just focus on discovering that they’re ace, and having their coming out stories, and basically stuff that just reduces them from people to their sexuality. I want background ace characters and I want just normal people like me going through struggles that everyone else goes through while being ace.

But sometimes, like right now, I really just need more of the first. And that’s a lot to ask for, because there is a fine line to cross between making it too much of one and not enough of the other. But I really need a story about how someone feels about being ace. I need a story about someone discovering who they are, about coming out, about the nerves and the tears and the happiness and the sadness and everything. The self actualization and (depending) maybe a little bit of denial in there; I know I felt that. I need that sexuality struggle, but I need them to be people too. I need them to have lives and live and forget about their identity struggle sometimes and for them to be creative and smart and sad and angry and stressed sometimes about something not having to do with it.

And, currently, I really need a story about ace people falling in love. I need a story about crushes and awkwardness and happiness and love with and ace where they don’t do the whole “asexuals can have sex” thing. I want falling in love with no sex, and I want happiness.

And the thing is, I really have a hard time finding ace literature that can cover a lot of these bases. And I’m never sure if what I’m going to find actually will invoke the feeling I want, you know? I want complex characters, I want love, I want no sex, and I want to read something that I can identify with really well.

Just had to get some of my own feelings off my chest. (disclaimer: nothing bad meant  to the ace people who do have sex, or who don’t want love stories, or who disagree with the parameters I want in a story. These are just my personal feelings.)

anonymous asked:

I really appreciate all the explanations you post about Japanese grammar, they're all very helpful! I have a question about how to say "I can't stand it anymore" like you posted recently. You mentioned たまらない and I'm wondering how that compares to 我慢できない because they seem very similar to me? Thank you so much!

Well, when you look たまらない up in a Japanese dictionary, one of the definitions is 我慢できない (and vice versa), so there IS a lot of overlap between them!

我慢する basically means “put up with” or “resist doing something” so when you say 我慢できない it implies that you’ve been actively resisting the urge to do something, but you can’t resist any more and you’re going to go do the thing now. I feel like it has a broader meaning than たまらない? Like you can use it with emotions or purely physical urges (”I can’t stand it, I have to pee RIGHT NOW”) where たまらない tends to be more about emotions and subjective feelings.

たまらない is from the verb たまる, which means “build up” or “collect” like water behind a dam or something. So the literal meaning is more like “I can’t hold [these emotions] in.” It’s less about how you’ve reached a breaking point and can’t resist anymore, and more about how you’re at the mercy of all these strong thoughts and feelings.

Again, the difference in meaning is really subtle with a lot of overlap. They ARE pretty different in the way they’re used grammatically, though:

我慢できない is an independent verb that can be used in a lot of situations, and たまらない is mostly just after the て form of other verbs (though you CAN use it as a whole sentence all by itself, where it usually means “I’m so happy/excited I can’t stand it”).

Also, たまらない is just used to say you CAN’T stand something–you won’t really see a たまる meaning “yeah, I can put up with this, everything’s fine.” But depending on whether you negate the verb or not, 我慢 can be used that way: トイレを我慢する “to hold it” (=resist going to the bathroom)

I’ve been seeing a lot of “SU is not focusing on Steven’s feelings, only the adults feelings and it’s damaging bc this is a kids show” but the thing is, they show literally is focusing on Steven’s feelings but not directly.

Steven is a very emotional kid. Yet, he is also very mature and understanding. He understands that while he might have feelings on a certain matter, what’s going on right now between the gems is not just about /him/.

When he was feeling uncomfortable about Onion, he was ready to go home. But then he saw that Amethyst was having a moment with Vidalia. He knew that once he got home, his problem with Onion would stop, but Amethyst’s problems would continue. Especially when she has no one to talk to back home. He basically took one for the team.

He’s been perfectly fine with expressing how he’s felt about things, and rarely have the gems dismissed those feelings (and when they do, there’s always a roundabout to “I’m sorry Steven”). This show is teaching kids how to handle emotions responsibly and see that it’s alright to express them, but it also reminds them that the world does not revolve around them.

The thing I don’t get though is why the writers chose to show that Clarke thinks love is weakness by the love she has for Bellamy and not with someone like her mom….

  I’ve been thinking about that a lot. They could of easily wrote that with Abby but they chose bellamy. Why? If I recall Jason said that bellarke is not being written romantically as of right now. So whyyy  They clearly wanted to show us that Clarke cares too much about him and don’t even get me started on Bellamy talking to Lincoln and Octavia through Gustus. He basically admitted to himself that he’s in love with her and he’s willing to sacrifice even his own life to protect her. Seriously though, how is it expected from us to believe that they don’t have feelings for eachother?

I don’t know what to say. There are a lot of things going on here; anger, frustration, sadness, shock. It’s too much. It’s turmoil. This country is in a terrible spot right now and I don’t see how it’s going to get any better. 

Remember, as you read social media posts today - it is possible to mourn the horrible deaths of five police officers at the same time you want to hold police to higher standards. You can be upset about cops killing black people at the same time you can be horrified and sad about cops being targeted and murdered. 

I’m watching CNN and I feel like the language they are using is incendiary, that they are throwing gasoline on an already out of control fire. But that’s the way news works these days and it’s not going to get fixed. Meanwhile, we have to deal with this pervasive sense of anger hanging over the country right now.

Did you see the tweets from former congressman Joe Walsh last night basically threatening President Obama and black people in general with some sort of revenge? Is that where discourse stands right now?

Facebook is an absolute garbage pile this morning. Everything is garbage. How do we crawl out of this? How do we recover? Where are we headed? I’m sad, I’m worried, I’m angry. I believe in Black Lives Matter. I believe cops don’t deserve to be killed like this. I believe no citizen should be walking around with an assault rifle. I believe we are in a difficult place, in many ways. 

I don’t know what to say.

Thor: The Dark World (liveblog) [x]

There’s a couple of stingers after this, of course, but basically this is the ending we’re left with and it’s… confusing how to react to it.  On the one hand, I’m entirely serious that I will throw out all the logic and good story telling for Loki being alive, even if that means that I’m living with concern and a whole lot of side-eye about where they’re going with this or gritting my teeth whenever I see an argument that Loki would make a good king as he is right now or the frustration of the lack of post-TDW fics.

But on the other… I feel like this ending has a lot of the same troubles that the entire movie does—what originally had a strong theme going ends up sort of a mess and clearly no planning put into it, that it’s largely where we left the characters off before—Thor thinking Loki was dead, Loki planning shit.  We already did that ending.

I have lots of interesting things to say about the little steps along the way, but when I look at the bigger picture… ehhhh.  And I was talking about this with Bree, about why my affection for TDW is pretty strong is because my priorities about the movie are thus:

- Good Thor stuff
- Good plot stuff
- Everything else

This movie delivered on so much of the Thor stuff I wanted in the little things that I’m pretty happy!  I enjoyed the movie and I’ve gone over it with a really fine-toothed comb and I’ve had a lot to say about it! And largely that stuff’s all been positive!  But the plot is kind of a mess and while I’m happy about some of it (Loki being alive), it still wound up being a really watered down version of what was probably originally a much stronger story.  I’ll still probably take this one over that one, but that doesn’t magically smooth over the problems of this version.

And this ending… while a really impactful punch, leaves me feeling… “Oh, god, what are they even going to do with this storyline now?”  For all that there’s a ton of fun in speculating just how Loki survived, I know that they don’t actually have a lot of answers for us, that they didn’t plan this shit out.  For all that this movie gave us some gorgeous shots of Asgard, we learned very little about the place or how it works.  For all that this should open up a ton of opportunities, for all that I don’t mind cliffhanger endings, I’m not really sure what to even do with it.

When talking about specific details, my reaction is:  YESSS, SO MUCH COOL STUFF!!!

When talking about the greater storyline, my reaction is:  OH GOD THIS COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER WHY WON’T YOU LET ME FIX THIS FOR YOU MARVEL

Ultimately, I’m glad that I chose TDW for this liveblogging project, because I do enjoy the first movie, I think it was probably more coherent (even if I found it less exciting overall), but this one gave me more STUFF to work with.  I wanted a way to express my affection for so much of the little things I loved in this movie!  And I’m glad I got the chance to do that, I’m wistful to see this liveblog come to an end.  But also I’ve been thinking about what to say about this ending for months and I still got nothin’.

I will defend TDW in a lot of ways, this whole project speaks for that. But goddamn I have, like, less than zero interest in King!Loki unless it’s all about how he’s fucking it up and needs Thor to come rescue him, I gotta say.

206 times

I said a while ago that i get why Carter is so creepy and adamant when its about Kendra. A lot of people are  (More or less) rightfully offended, because let’s face it..the guy constantly tries to force things and more or less feels like he is on a race or something. 

Now here is the reason why i get that:

He is. He is in a race. He is racing death.

Ok try to view it like this:

You love somebody more than you love your own life. That person is the whole world to you. And then you see her die.

And then you see her die again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And- you get the idea now right?

Now imagine that 206 times. Lets all just take a moment and think about how fucked up it is to get murdered 206 times…AND THEN HAVE TO WATCH YOUR SOULMATE GET KILLED THE SAME AMOUNT!

Lets go even further: Did you see how Kendra reacted to Carter’s death? She basically went into a coma, started hallucinating, went kinda crazy. Now what if that happened to Carter too whenever he lost Kendra?

Thinking about all of this i have a different view on Carter now.

The guy is not some creepy stalker kind of guy, who wants Kendra to love him no matter what.

The dude is freaking desperate. He never knows when Vandal Savage will walk around the corner, stabbing them both to death. He wants to spend as much time with Kendra as he can. He wants her to remember how to fight so he can at least give himself the illusion that they can survive. 

Carter Hall is broken. 

This is kinda backed up by a scene in LOT for me. There actually is a scene where kendra tells him to back off. That its to hard for her to remember all these things..And guess what? He admits that he is pushing her and that he feels bad about it. And that he won’t do it anymore. 

Granted he is killed right after but hey, at least he got it. 

And before anyone jumps at me: I’m not excusing his behaviour. But at the same time i do have a hard time blaming him.

Really what would you do? Wouldn’t you try to spend as much time with the man/woman you love as you can? Wouldn’t you sometimes be harsh because you hope that maybe, just maybe you can get her/him to remember you and her abilities that way? 

And another point: Maybe Kendra does the same when she finds Carter? We never saw how she acts when he can’t remember her. 

Carter Hall may be an asshole. But if this fandom really puts down a guy who became like that after seeing the life of his life (and his life’s) being destroyed and taken from him 206 times, not realizing what a toll that takes on you?

We are not better then.