this is badi tried

I tried

I tried so hard to save us

I didn’t want you to leave so soon

But you did and it hurt

It hurt so bad

I tried so many things to save us 

And I tried so many things to try and stop my feelings

I cried for days

Endless seeming nights listening to my vinyls 

The migraines and heartache

My screaming mind and hypnotic lies

It all broke me

You broke me

anonymous asked:

What does it mean to be psychotic? Can you please explain?

once i went chasing the moon for miles because i thought she was hiding from me, personally
that is not so bad
but the tv and books and the internet were giving me messages that i was possessed by a demon
that is bad and scary
i thought i could fly so i tried to jump off a balcony
that is bad
i could see and feel and smell the planets, the smoky anesthetized haze of neptune, the sugar and silk of venus
that is good… those are some of my experiences… its going into a world of your own that doesn’t match with consensual society. your thinking is not clear
as a result your jobs, social life, and schooling deteriorates. maybe you do things you wouldnt normally do, or you want to hurt yourself