this is bad idk

At the queer cafe
  • Me: hey yeah I'll get a medium "Turbo Virgin" siv oo play
  • The skinny girl with ugly glasses next to me: ummm barista? Op isn't ace and just used an ace slur?
  • Me: but it's on the men-
  • The barista: *pulls out a gun and points it at me* ma'am I'm gonna need you to prove ur an asexy before I can give u this drink, now answer honestly and I'll know if you're lying, have you ever done the frickle-frackle?
  • Me: ya know what there's a puddle outside I'll just slurp some of that up to quench my thirst
  • Everyone in the cafe simultaneously: that's valid

after seeing @edendaphne put a ponytail on her older lb, i had to try it out on my adult lb and now i am dead. like i love short haired lb so much but…gfhfgghhHHhdhsjfsdj g u y s

…so yea bless u eden, thank u for the inspiration ;0;

also bonus bad cellphone pics of my updated adult chat below the cut cos i don’t feel like making a new post lol

Keep reading

Today I was walking behind a mother and a small child who couldn’t have been older than five. The child was walking in that syncopated gait that is instantly recognizable as a small child avoiding sidewalk cracks, which was completely adorable.

And then this adorable golden-haired child looked up at her mother and said in a completely even voice “Someday, I’ll step on it.”

That child is going places. Maybe jail. But places.

what artist’s mean when they claim they’re self-taught: i’ve gathered resources and taught myself through what is available to me publicly without the aid of having gone to some type of expensive/private class or lesson and while engaging in those types of things is not a bad thing to do and it absolutely can help improve artistic ability, i have gained my skill through searching for references and public teachings/tutorials and proud of where I have gotten myself without official professional aid so far 

not what artist’s mean when they claim they’re self-taught: I didn’t learn from ANYBODY, my art is 100% ME MYSELF AND I, MY FIRST WORDS WERE LINE OF ACTION AND NOT USING BLACK TO SHADE 

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TBH if someone was making me live in some strange isolated place for an indefinite period of time…gotta take the essentials.

check please characters as john mulaney quotes
  • bitty: it’s 100% easier not to do things than to do them
  • jack: in terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin
  • shitty: eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
  • lardo: i have had a very long day. i am very small and i have no money. so you can imagine the kind of stress i am under
  • ransom: holster and i have a new house. it was built in the '20s, but it was flipped in 2014. which means it's haunted, but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash
  • holster: nothing that i know can help you with your car ever. unless you’re like, “hey, i’ve got a flat tire, does anyone here know a lot about 30 rock”?
  • chowder: it's fun to be married. i’ve never been supervised before. i’m supervised. farmer studies what i do, like an anthropologist. she'll be like, “sometimes, he will watch a movie on tv even though he already owns that movie on dvd. pointing this out confuses and upsets him"
  • nursey: the bad guy would hold the joint in a villainous way. they'd always offer the joint in a way that no one ever holds a joint. like it's a skull in a shakespeare play
  • dex: i’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, i’ll die
  • tango: ah... numbers, the letters of math
  • whiskey: sometimes babies will point at me, and i don’t care for that shit at all
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Eraserhead Week: Smile

It’s not art or writing but i saw the prompt and i couldn’t resist

aizawa shotoro

So um,,,

This one actually goes for @nellos12

I just wanted to draw something nice for u, so,,,