The first time it happens, it’s hidden behind a nightmare.
Robert wrenches upright at three in the morning, an outline of sweat on the bed. He’s kicked the covers off in unconscious violence and, in his inelegant tossing and turning, has managed to uproot the fitted sheet from the mattress. Beside him, Aaron sleeps soundly, a curled mass of dark cotton and soft skin. Robert studies him as he waits for the tightness in his chest to loosen, blinks a few times as his eyes adjust to the gloominess of the room, and breathes. Aaron’s safe. He’s safe and he’s there, dry and warm and untroubled.
He lies back down, flipping the pillow to the cold side and trying to ignore the rhythmic ticking of his alarm clock. Every light in the room suddenly feels brighter; the strip beneath the door, the muted haze seeping through the curtains, the orange circle on Aaron’s charging phone. There’s an important meeting tomorrow, one that brings opportunity of investment for the scrapyard, and he needs to get some decent kip if he’s going to be of any use. But the hour ticks by and he’s still awake, head swimming and heart thudding.
His eyes follow the curve of Aaron’s figure. His t-shirt bunches up around his waist, riding up to reveal his lined hips, and a cluster of moles congregate in the small of his back. Eventually, Aaron stirs, his subconscious letting him know that he’s being watched, and he opens a disgruntled eye in time for Robert to drop his to the mattress.
“You alright?” he mumbles, voice thick with fatigue. Robert just nods.
Aaron responds by pressing himself into Robert’s form like he’s filling a mould whilst Robert reaches back and gropes for the duvet. Eventually he sleeps, Aaron’s steady heartbeat managing to coax his own back to rhythm. The vice in his chest never settles, but in a way it helps him; it gives him something to focus on.
‘ oh P L E A S E. ‘ he hummed, rolling his brown eyes wildly. ‘ he’ll never notice it’s gone. ‘ paxton smirked, fiddling with an obviously expensive diamond ring he had stolen from the man he found himself sleeping with the night prior. ‘ besides, he wasn’t getting any use out of it. clearly. ‘
Solas makes mistakes, just like any other person in this world. He is victim to his own desires and sadness and prejudices and opinions. And it is his opinion that this world will never be able to be as t was, because all he HAS seen since he woke and watched from Uthenara is that the world is CONSTANTLY trying to destroy itself. He doesn’t hate the Dalish. It’s just that his pride was wounded deeply, along with his trust, because he helped free his people, put his trust and faith in them, and was disappointed to learn they curse his name and worship the gods who once enslaved them. AGAIN, this is not the Dalish’s fault, please don’t get that wrong. I’m not trying to defend Solas’s actions, but at least help enlighten why?
There was once a balance between magic and the world. Magic was everything. Magic was once as natural as breathing. Now it’s just a fizzling flame, dying out. Spirits once had such a deep connection with the elves, and now the elves fear them, just as bad if not worse than humans. Take Merrill’s clan for example: they shunned her when they learned of her blood magic and her connection with a demon. Spirits they often connect with Fen'Harel, the traitor. They’re VERY superstitious.
Basically, I’m saying Solas does care. A lot. About too many things and he doesn’t always process that well. He makes mistakes, and yes, that doesn’t excuse him from what he’s done, but I feel like some people make it out like he IS a God and he should know better. No. Lol. He specifically says he is just as mortal as the slaves he freed.
He even tells the Inquisitor that they have shown him value in this world, and Solas DOES see it. He even saw it in Templar Barris, because Barris is a good man, and Solas could see that. Barris knew his job as a Templar was not to abuse mages, but to protect them from outside hate and even from themselves if need be. But one small value does not save a world from what it once lost, you get me? Again. Solas cares deeply. He LOVES deeply. He’s just very good at compartmentalizing what he feels comes first, and loves has very many different forms, and his love for magic, freedom, balance, and the past will override most things. I do see him possibly changing with some strong opposition from those he cares about, but I also don’t see him giving up easily, hence why I think any ending will result in his death.
•health is absolutely terrible, as always
•grades are looking good enough to apply for exchange next year (’:
•reconnected w so many friends this past month, it just makes me so happy
•tbh i met so many positive new people too
•broke as hell yet happily unemployed. man fuck my last work place lmao
•anxiety problems diminished so much. still the occasional moment, but way more functional now. i haven’t gone back to counselling though, not sure if i should either.
•m y hea lth thou gh 😂
okay sorry this took me so long to answer but here we go
No matter where or what she was doing she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and she was his. He couldn’t help but admire her sleeping form, naked among the sheets.
He inched closer to her, tracing a large finger along her delicate frame, relishing in the goose flesh that appeared as a result.
God how he longed to hear her scream again, for her to show him all the places to use his tongue, teeth and fingers to elicit the sounds from her.
She awoke to the small flutter of Jamie’s warm tongue between her legs as well as the tickle of his hair against her naval. She sighed in pleasure and he came up smiling, realizing she was finally awake.
“I’m no finished learning.”
“And I suppose I’m not done teaching.” She giggled as she took his mouth onto hers.