this is bad idk

At the queer cafe
  • Me: hey yeah I'll get a medium "Turbo Virgin" siv oo play
  • The skinny girl with ugly glasses next to me: ummm barista? Op isn't ace and just used an ace slur?
  • Me: but it's on the men-
  • The barista: *pulls out a gun and points it at me* ma'am I'm gonna need you to prove ur an asexy before I can give u this drink, now answer honestly and I'll know if you're lying, have you ever done the frickle-frackle?
  • Me: ya know what there's a puddle outside I'll just slurp some of that up to quench my thirst
  • Everyone in the cafe simultaneously: that's valid

after seeing @edendaphne put a ponytail on her older lb, i had to try it out on my adult lb and now i am dead. like i love short haired lb so much but…gfhfgghhHHhdhsjfsdj g u y s

…so yea bless u eden, thank u for the inspiration ;0;

also bonus bad cellphone pics of my updated adult chat below the cut cos i don’t feel like making a new post lol

Keep reading

Today I was walking behind a mother and a small child who couldn’t have been older than five. The child was walking in that syncopated gait that is instantly recognizable as a small child avoiding sidewalk cracks, which was completely adorable.

And then this adorable golden-haired child looked up at her mother and said in a completely even voice “Someday, I’ll step on it.”

That child is going places. Maybe jail. But places.

what artist’s mean when they claim they’re self-taught: i’ve gathered resources and taught myself through what is available to me publicly without the aid of having gone to some type of expensive/private class or lesson and while engaging in those types of things is not a bad thing to do and it absolutely can help improve artistic ability, i have gained my skill through searching for references and public teachings/tutorials and proud of where I have gotten myself without official professional aid so far 

not what artist’s mean when they claim they’re self-taught: I didn’t learn from ANYBODY, my art is 100% ME MYSELF AND I, MY FIRST WORDS WERE LINE OF ACTION AND NOT USING BLACK TO SHADE 


TBH if someone was making me live in some strange isolated place for an indefinite period of time…gotta take the essentials.

check please characters as john mulaney quotes
  • bitty: it’s 100% easier not to do things than to do them
  • jack: in terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin
  • shitty: eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
  • lardo: i have had a very long day. i am very small and i have no money. so you can imagine the kind of stress i am under
  • ransom: holster and i have a new house. it was built in the '20s, but it was flipped in 2014. which means it's haunted, but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash
  • holster: nothing that i know can help you with your car ever. unless you’re like, “hey, i’ve got a flat tire, does anyone here know a lot about 30 rock”?
  • chowder: it's fun to be married. i’ve never been supervised before. i’m supervised. farmer studies what i do, like an anthropologist. she'll be like, “sometimes, he will watch a movie on tv even though he already owns that movie on dvd. pointing this out confuses and upsets him"
  • nursey: the bad guy would hold the joint in a villainous way. they'd always offer the joint in a way that no one ever holds a joint. like it's a skull in a shakespeare play
  • dex: i’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, i’ll die
  • tango: ah... numbers, the letters of math
  • whiskey: sometimes babies will point at me, and i don’t care for that shit at all

Eraserhead Week: Smile

It’s not art or writing but i saw the prompt and i couldn’t resist

aizawa shotoro

So um,,,

This one actually goes for @nellos12

I just wanted to draw something nice for u, so,,,