this is as good as it gets in case of my things

anonymous asked:

Jupeter and 15 for the mini fic meme?

15. things you said with too many miles between us

A/N: I ended up taking liberties with the figurative sense of this prompt

You’d think after getting the same bad contact twice that I’d have learned my lesson. It just goes to show that the universe has a good thing going with lady luck, because they’ve taken their wicked sense of humour out on me too many times to count.

But I hadn’t expected this kind of cheap trick from Alessandra Strong, someone I assumed knew how to do a thorough background check on her associates if nothing else. This’ll be the last time I take over a case for her, because what do I get for my trouble? A eyeful of lean, confident thief wrapped up in a suit that costs more than a month’s rent and inviting smile directed at our mutual client.

“Ah, Detective Strong, how nice of you to finally join us…” He doesn’t quite sound finished, but the thought must die, along with my appetite and any previous humour on his face, when he looks over his shoulder to find me in the doorway. He recovers quickly, and less than a second later he’s smiling again, this time with all his teeth.

I recover too, and take a few steps into the room. “Detective Strong got a little tied up but she got me up to speed. I’m Juno Steel. Looks like we’ll be working together.” I have to swallow a lump in my throat when I hold out a hand, because even though he does shake it, the contact is brief. Like I’m contagious.

“Janeth Verity. It’s wonderful having you on the case, Mr. Steel.”

“Do you two know each other?” Ms. Organa pulls my attention back to here and now, like getting a stubborn cat off your lap. Nureyev’s standing with her between us in a way that’s too tidy to be an accident.

Nureyev… Janeth just shakes his head, returning his attention to the client with that warm smile of his. “Only by reputation. Steel is a little hard to ignore in our line of business, but I assure you that he’s one of the best.” I can’t tell if he means it.

He’s as much Peter Nureyev now as when he was Rex Glass. He stands tall, keeps his hands tucked neatly behind his back, leans forward while he listens to Ms. Organa. His eyes crinkle a little at the edges and I wonder if he can see a damn thing without his glasses, if he bothered to get contact lenses that were right for him or if he just grabbed the first pair he found. I wonder what he’s seen since the last time he was on Mars. I wonder if he’s going to look at me again, or if if that was a one-time accident.

The next time I tear my eye off him, Organa is saying, “Right this way, gentlemen,” and leading us deeper into the house.

I fall back to walk beside Nureyev, and he falls back futher. By the time I finally find a place next to him, the knots in my chest have worked themselves into a tangle that can only be dissolved by a lot of booze. “I can go, if you want. Tell Alessandra I got pulled in on something else.”

“I can’t imagine why you’d do that, Mr. Steel. We’ve hardly begun here,” he says, with far too much friendly distance in his voice. Friendly, but not familiar. He talks to me the same way I’ve smiled at creeps at the bar.

“Fine, then let me buy you a drink later–”

I’m cut off with a dismissive wave. His voice is low enough that Organa can’t hear him up ahead, but the message comes in loud and clear across the chasm between us. “No, detective, I think you’ve given me enough of a headache to last a life time without adding a hangover.” He’s glacial one moment, then the next he’s calling a question up to our client and hurrying ahead to leave me treading the water behind him.

I wonder if he’ll ever look at me again.

I just applied to work in an all boys prison, for counseling. I don’t know why i did that. Things always sound better than actually doing them. I mean i get an idea in my head. But then I hate following through. That sounds horrible

Anyways I had to do a phone interview. They asked me if I’ve ever taken any self defense classes, in case someone tries to tackle me. I said ‘ohh that wouldn’t happen,’ but then I thought, 'would it?’

They probably think about tackling ppl all the time. Like they’re addicted to good old fashioned form tackling. Like whenever they wonder what’s wrong they’re like, “oh yeah, I haven’t tackled anyone today.” Then they start scanning the room with an interest in everyone. I start Monday

@floweredtatamis it’s very strange, ‘cause it’s usually so good!! I hope Horikoshi is ok. I saw some fans saying that it could be health issues (I truly hope that’s not the case) but it also could be that he was busy helping with the second season of the anime. And I heard that Black Clover had similar issues this week, so it could be a problem with the magazine, maybe a change in their schedule or something.
Idk, there are many things that may have happened, but I hope it wasn’t a serious situation and everything gets back to normal next chapter :P

You know, I feel like A:tLA really found a way to resonate with the struggles that a lot of kids face.

Aang is the struggle of the “gifted child”. He’s told from a young age that he’s going to do incredible things that puts him under a lot of pressure until he finally pulls off the ultimate procrastination trying to avoid the stress. He shows a lot of talent in what he’s good at, but when he tries learning something he’s not immediately good at he is easily discouraged. He’s also almost paralyzed by the fear of failing. (To be fair, the stakes are very high in his case).

Katara is the child with all of the talent she could ever need, but none of the opportunity. She has a real natural talent for waterbending, but no place at home where she can get training to develop the talent. It reminds me of kids from my school who were extremely talented in theatre, but couldn’t afford to participate after they instated the $200 “pay to participate” rules on extracurriculars.

Toph is the child with plenty of talent, but physical limitations that she has to go beyond. She has to prove that she is twice as good to get the same respect (and boy does she ever)! And she has to balance making sure that no one treats her disability as her defining characteristic, while still making sure it’s accounted for. Her parents would have let her blindness rule her life and she had to fight just to get the chance to show her talents.

Sokka is like the kid with lots of talent, but in an area that’s not very valued. At least not when compared to the benders. Like the kid who draws incredible comics in their notebooks, but is looked down on because they just can’t get an A on their report cards. Or the kid who is a talented pianist that everyone asks about getting prepared for a “real career” while the kids on the football team are being told to watch for recruiters.

That’s just the Gaang, but you could keep doing this with so many characters (I mean, everything about Zuko!), but I’m just really grateful that even in this fantastic setting there were a lot of things people could identify with.

on the long list of small details skam pays attention to 

isak’s textbook is used!!! it’s the end of the semester so it’s not going to look brand new!! and it’s a small detail but when you see students in movies and shows they often carry these books that look like they just bought them, like no matter what time of the school year it is? and this is the type of little things you’re not necessarily meant to pay that much attention to, it doesn’t just stand out on its own but it’s a combination of all these little things that just makes the characters that much more relatable 

Congrats on this crazy huge milestone, Jack!

I want to say something, because I haven’t ever properly done it before… so uh. Jack, if you see this. I want you to know that you honestly saved my life. Probably several times. I can’t remember when I started watching your videos, and I don’t know if that’s just because I feel like I always have been or if my sense of time is really that bad. But in any case… I can say with confidence that you have been a beacon of light at my darkest moments. I don’t watch your videos as much as I’d like to, because I’m sorta convinced that I’ll ruin it for myself somehow, but every time that I do watch I can’t help but feel happy at least for a little while. Thank you doesn’t seem good enough, but from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

And thank you to everyone in the community that has ever given me support as well. I appreciate it more than you could ever know.

Ruby Rose’s Letter

“Hey, sis.

I hope my letters have been reaching you and Dad. I know written stuff has never been super reliable, but… I guess it’s all we’ve got these days. Anyways, in case you haven’t been getting them, I want to say… I’m sorry for leaving the way I did. I know you told me it was a reckless idea, and after everything I’ve been through, I can definitely say you were right.

“It’s been hard, hard on all of us, and I’m not just talking about the monsters we’ve fought out here. Every step we made took us further and further away from the things we knew, and every morning, we woke up wondering if just over the next hill would be something good… or something terrible. It’s scary, not knowing what’s going to happen next. And the things we do know now - just how bad it can get - almost makes it all worse.

“You told me once that bad things just happen. You were angry when you said it, and I didn’t want to listen. But you were right; bad things do happen. They happen all the time… every day. Which is why I’m out here. To do whatever I can, wherever I can, and hopefully, do some good.

“We’ve all lost something. I’ve seen what loss can do to people. But if we gave up every time we lost, then we’d never be able to move forward. We’d never have a chance to see whatever beautiful things the future might have waiting for us. We’d never have the strength to change, whether it’s ourselves, or the world around us. And we’d never be there for other people, who one day, might be lost without us. This is what we were training for, Yang - to become Huntresses. To be the ones stand up, and do something about all the bad in the world… because there are plenty of people out there who are still lost, and even more who will try to gain everything they can from their sorrow.

“Believe me when I say I know it can feel impossible. Like every single day is a struggle against some unstoppable monster we can never hope to beat. But we have to try… if not for us, then for the people we’ve already… for the people we haven’t lost yet. 

“I miss you so much. I miss Weiss and Blake, too. But I think you’d all be proud to know I made it to Mistral. All of us did. And we even ran into Uncle Qrow along the way. He’s going to take us to see Professor Lionheart, the headmaster of Haven Academy. And he told us some things you’re going to want to hear - things I can’t trust will make it to you in this letter. But maybe if you joined us, he could tell you himself. With Beacon gone, they’ll need Dad at Signal more than ever. I know you need to focus on yourself before I can expect you to come out with me, but it sure would be great to get Team RWBY back together again.

“Until next time, your loving sister.” 

So yes yes we all know Tony would probably fuck w/ Steve about future-things in order to flirt (yes Steve it IS customary now for people to eat breakfast shirtless yep i know this stuff im A Futurist™) but what I’m interested in is Steve doing it right back.

-“Tony how does this remote control thingy work pls move my hands for me I’m just so Incapable”

-“Ties?? Do u not remember how poor I was Tony I don’t know what one of those even are ur gonna have to tie it for me and make sure u get real close just in case of…falling over.. because of stress,”

-“Oh goodness I appear to have dropped something and you know how old I am Tony my bones hurt please bend down and pick it up.”
“Steve you’re a supersol-”
“SO old,”

Samantha Bee

One of my favorite things about [the Brexit piece] is that we had David Tennant reading Scottish tweets about Donald Trump. Here’s our text conversation [of how that came about]. We had been writing jokes about Sam doing accents terribly, so I texted her to ask: “How’s your Scottish accent?” And she wrote back, “About as good as my Australian accent.” I said, “Maybe we can get Patrick Stewart to do it,” and her answer was, “My agent reps David Tennant. Hold on.” In an hour, we were emailing David Tennant! [Laughs] He was on his way to the Broadchurch set and pulled over to the side of the road to shoot the video with his phone. That’s how our show gets made in a nutshell!

Fix You- Percival Graves

Pairing: Percival Graves/OC

Request: I can’t find the original request, but the reader and Percival have been in an established relationship for a while when she gets word that he’s finally been found safe and sound after the Grindelwald innocent. Reunited and it feels soooo good! <3

Warnings: Angst, as requested!

A/N: Shorter than my usual (although that’s not a bad thing in my case lol). This one was a challenge, to write a version of Graves that’s so broken. Hope I pulled it off okay! :)

“Where is he?”

I felt dazed, my legs suddenly weak as I braced myself against Madam President’s desk for support. I could hardly believe my ears and waited for her to reassure me it wasn’t a dream. There was a stitch in my side as I tried to catch my breath. I’d apparated straight to MCUSA as soon as the news had reached me, running the rest of the way to the president’s office.

The other woman leaned forward, clasping her hand over mine. “We found Percival. We brought him here, in the medical wing.”

My heart jumped into my throat.

We found Percival.

Keep reading

Imagine Neil as a strictly functional multilinguist tho.

Anyone who’s had to learn a language for a specific purpose will know: you don’t become fluent. You just become really good at certain bits of it and faking the rest.

Consider a Neil who can rattle out all the memorised backstory in French and German that Mary gave him in case a stranger asks. Oh yes, we’re here to visit my aunt so-and-so, my mother is from here-and-there, my name’s Chris, etc etc.

Neil who picks up the basic meaning of things and missing the details. So-and-so found somethingsomething at the shop today. They called the someoneprobablyimportant!!

Neil who is great at inane small talk. Isn’t the weather great? The buses are always late. Did you see the news today?

Neil who gets away with not contributing much by making language-appropriate slang fillers during conversations. Ähhm, and euh. Yeah, yeah, ja. Is that so, hein? J'sais pas.

Neil not understanding a word of a conversation but making eye contact and reading people’s posture and tone and laughing along with people or gasping when they look shocked.

And most importantly, Neil, when asked a basic question outside of his normal skillset, understanding completely what he was asked, but also completely unable to string together a proper sentence: I am… favourite… red??

In case you are wondering about whether you should watch A Series of Unfortunate Events on Netflix (because say, you are a fan of the books and you don’t want to get burned the way you did with the movie), I have only watched the first two episodes and can assure that this is quality shit:

  • It starts out with a dedication to Beatrice
  • Lemony Snicket is a character, narrating onscreen, which is good because a) in hindsight, how was that movie franchise planning on doing that when it became important? it’s much better to do it from the beginning and b) it means some of the best literary devices can be easily reproduced
  • There is a good amount of subtle references to future events and certain initials
  • They really doubled down on the whole mixed-up time period thing to hilarious effect, including a self-referential Netflix joke that I had to pause after because I was laughing so hard
  • Same with every single time Count Olaf says “theatre” or “actor” NPH is a great Count Olaf
  • He has a musical number and it is awful in the best way
  • The Beaudelaires are perfectly cast and also the perfect mixture of charmingly tragic and cleverly witty
  • Especially Sunny she is a GIFT
  • There is stuff that isn’t in the books, not in a “deviating from the plot” sense but in an “adding vital information about what was going on elsewhere that I am VERY FREAKING DANG EXCITED ABOUT” sense

In conclusion this is exactly what you would expect given that Daniel Handler played a major role in it, it’s everything I wanted it to be, please watch.

I just witnessed a girl trying to get rid of a mansplainer. She tried to say: “I don’t get it.” to make him go away but it only made him mansplain the idea more and more.

So just in case, here’s my tip what to say: “That’s not very interesting.”

So far that’s been a good way to get them to back off. You might hurt their feelings but who cares. They’re the ones bothering you, you don’t owe them a thing!

And like… mostly, they are not very interesting.

Ah, now there’s a good question. Y’see, cause it involves money!

Indirectly, f’course, like in a capitalist cause-and-effect kinda way, but still. Money!

Listen, I’ve been runnin’ th’ shack for years now, and lemme tell ya, y’get all kinds of customers when workin’ at a place like that.  Some folks’ll just come in lookin’ t’buy a bag of chips from the vendin’ machine, others will be comin’ in to purchase an entire fur…fish…hybrid thing…

But, er, y’know, whatever th’ case, there is one product that’s been irresistible t’even the most skeptical of buyers.  You folks ready t’know what it is?  Heh, I think you are…

‘Cause it’s me!

More specifically, the exclusive, rare, official Mystery Shack licensed Stan Pines Bobblehead™! (Patent pending.)

Would’ya just look at that craftsmanship?  Th’ way it captures my stunnin’ physique, my devilishly handsome smile, that…that dull, lifeless haze I get in my eyes ‘cause, like, I’m tired all the time…


Half the time, we’re barely able to keep these things on the shelves!  And it’s not just because Mabel’s been swipin’ em to test out her makeover skills.  Or because Ford got all grouchy his name was on somethin’ “degradin’“ and burned half our stock.

Though, uh, both have happened.

Though I will admit…and…and it’s kinda sad, if y’really think about it…There’s one product that’s just inches away from beatin’ it…from livin’ out its hopes and dreams of bein’ th’ most purchased item in th’ Mystery Shack…

And that’s our beautifully crafted, mint condition Mystery Shack Snowglobe™! (Patent also pending. I got a lot of patents pendin’.)

But hey, you can help, kiddo!  Just buy like, ten’f these babies and it’ll surpass th’ bobblehead for our most popular item.

‘Course, you wouldn’t want th’ bobblehead to feel left out, so you might wanna buy a couple’f those too after the fact.  And from there you might as well just go back and forth buyin’ stuff so you’re givin’ each product a fair chance at livin’ its dream, y’know?

C’mon, have a heart!  Think’f the children and…whales ‘n stuff.


my gf & i now have an Official anniversary date even though we’ve been together for a few months & known each other for over 5 yrs… i gave her a necklace while we were walking in the cemetery near her house… the chain part of it is green (her favorite color) & the stone/pendant is yellow (m'favorite color).. the little case thing it was in is a seashell… we walked downtown & held hands the entire time… it was Good 💎🐚🌳✨✌

  • imagine second year kagehina that are in a secret relationship (secret… maybe only from their parents, you’d imagine kagehina not to be the best at keeping it a secret).
  • kageyama is invited to a cousin’s wedding and he can bring a plus one so he brings hinata because why not. his mom thinks they’re ~best friends~ anyway.
  • it’s a huge event and they’re are a lot of people. and while kageyama is chatting with a relative, one of the waiters offers hinata a glass of champagne. and because hinata is a dork and he doesn’t realise it’s an alcoholic beverage, he drinks it all. needless to say, he can’t hold his liquor at all and he gets quite tipsy.
  • tipsy hinata means extra touchy-feely, lovey-dovey dorky dork. he just feel the need to tell everyone how much he LOVES kageyama, he just LOVES him ok? so much! he boyfriend is the best! he is cool and smart and so good at volleyball and he loooooooves him so much!
  • kageyama is “@god: pls send help”, because hinata is saying yelling left and right how much he loves kageyama, and kageyama needs to do damage control before the smol sunshine child completely blows their secret.
  • hinata can barely stay still at the table, his hands keep slipping under, feeling kageyama up. save kageyama oh dear god, because it’s not like he is the best in keeping his cool. his face is as red as a tomato at this point. 
  • “babe, you need to chill.” “BUT I AM CHILL!!! AND I LOVE YOU!!! I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE MY BO–” “shut up, hinata, anybody can hear!” “BUT I LOVE YOU.” “i know… *whispering* i love you too.”
  • “KAGEYAMA, LET’S KISS.” “we’re in a public space.” “SO?!”
  • kageyama “i can’t resist my boyfriend’s puppy eyes” tobio that spends 20 mins looking for an isolated place and kisses him anyway.
  • I Did Not Sign Up For This: The Rom-Com. 
Things I, a Slytherin, do
  • cheat on buzzed quizzes
  • wear dresses because it looks fancy but in reality i just hate wearing pants so win, win
  • adopt and try to mentor anyone younger than me by default
  • made a wall-mounted phone & charger case out of duct tape so i can watch videos in bed
  • murder the enemies of my besties
  • snooping is my passion and v important for future references
  • I like to plan out how to efficiently break big rules and get away with it
  • reading way too heavily into things
  • i wanna get credit but i don’t wanna be in the spotlight, ya feel me?
  • I am so fucking good at chess look out boi
  • heuristics for days
  • procrastination

Prompt 5-“I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm, and I didn’t want to wake you.”
Prompt 20- “You came to my room at 4am, to cuddle?”
So I got 20 about 3 times with 5 so here we go me bois

You were currently getting ready for bed. After Slipping on your pajamas and brushing your teeth, you Go down in the case and say goodnight to Newt. 

“Um, Newt I just wanted to say good night, and to make sure the creatures were okay”

 He doesn’t look up from his work but he still responds

 “All the animals are doing great, It’s late y/n you should go to bed” 

“Okay Newt, Good night” You hear a faint Good night from Newt as you leave the case. You get into bed and you fall asleep. The next thing you know you see light shining in from the windows. Except, your shoulder had much more weight then when you went to bed. 

Looking to your right, you see Newt asleep on your shoulder. You almost jump in surprise but you don’t want to wake him. He’s still in his blue coat and trousers with his wand sticking out of his pocket. You admire the way the sun shines on his skin making his freckles appear a warmer tint. 

His chest rises up and down at a peaceful, steady rhythm. His fingers were carefully tucked underneath his head. His curly hair seemed even wilder in that moment. You laid in that position admiring him until he stirred awake. 

He looked around confused and then he looks at you. He jumps in surprise and falls off the bed. 

“Newt! Are you Okay?” You ask in concern. 

You look over the bed and Newts face is flushed. 

“I'm alright, sorry for um falling” 

“What were you doing in my room, may I ask?” He looks away slightly embarrassed. 

“Well, I came in here to um check on you and you seemed very peaceful and well you looked cold and there was no blankets and-” He stopped when he noticed you amused face. 

“What time was this Newt?” 

“Um around 4…” 

“You came to my room at 4am. To cuddle?” he looked more embarrassed 

“Y-yes, that would be correct” You laugh and get out of bed. 

“You want some breakfast?” You ask as you walk out the door. 

He scrambles up and follows you out the door. 

“Yes, that sounds lovely Y/N” 

“Sorry there’s no breakfast now, I would have made it ready but I didn’t want to wake you, You looked very peaceful and you needed the sleep” 

“It’s quite alright Y/n, and thank you, I guess I did need the sleep” he helped you make breakfast and Tea. 

The two of you sat on the couch and talked for the rest of the morning, enjoying the company 

I’m sorry I just got back from my cousins house and this didn't come out as I wanted so sorry. Also, my Finals are this week and I'm like this close to an emotional breakdown lol. So ill try to finish as many requests as I can this week.

                                                                         (based on this video)

  • dear boy… 
  • bogus! another one?
  • shows what you know, buckaroo! 
  • so when is this class over? 
  • did you just throw a sword at me? 
  • oh, you’re fine! i didn’t hit anything important! 
  • oh, honey, we gotta do something about that get-up! 
  • you’re a butt, you know that? 
  • i still don’t get why you’re so interested in a scrub like me, anyhow. 
  • go for it, big guy. 
  • oh honey, stop. 
  • well that was a thing. 
  • honestly, your people-skills could use some work. 
  • don’t you get in my face and threaten me like i’m some basic bitch! 
  • you want the truth, do you? in that case, hold onto your ass. 
  • be a good little dog and take to the collar and leash already. 
  • i put my heart in your hands and you squashed it like an eclair! 
  • i will kill you in the name of deliciousness! 
  • you perfect cinnamon roll…! 
  • hold onto your butts! 
  • good lord you’re rank! 
  • yaaas queen! 
  • not to sound all stalker-y, but could i get a hug? 
  • you’re a god among insects! of course you’re bored, the world’s an ant farm!
  • oh darn, you’re not in a coma. 
  • the worst thing ever! you don’t even know! 
  • wow, if i were a gigantic weeb, i’d probably be impressed by you. 
  • we don’t need you anymore, garbage-tier anime! you’re dead to me! 
  • boy, i’m a hooker for innuendo at inappropriate times!
  • now to watch the butt-hurt blossom. 
  • yeah, sorry. still a dude! 
  • oh, crap. why you gotta jam? 
  • you can’t hit me with detention, like a normal teacher? 
  • if i wanted a riddle, i’d eat a fortune cookie. ❞ 
  • how pedestrian. 
  • what door could he possibly want me to choose? 
  • oh my god! you’re so squishy! 
  • this game is stupid! 
  • bitch played me like a fiddle. 
  • what the holy hell is going on? 
  • stop interrupting my villain monologue! 
  • ideals, philosophy, art, culture. they live and die by the meme, an infection. 
  • come on, hit me with something out of left field. say you love me! 
  • oh, it’s a date, big guy! 
  • i wish i could quit you. 
  • mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, yeah no. 
  • such terrible pr. whole organization’s tits-up. 
  • get over yourself, slut. 
  • oh… his hands were so soft… 
  • yeah, i don’t get this either. pretty sure i died.