this is all i could think of when i saw it

A Package Marked “Return to sender”

Story by reddit user manen_lyset

My neighbor is one of those annoying wannabe YouTube personalities. Over the years, I’ve seen him cough out cinnamon, lay flat on the hood of his car as it slowly creeps down the driveway, and douse himself in lukewarm water, all the while screaming epic win, epic fail, or, fuck, epic maintenance of the status quo, for all I know. It can get tiring to watch him go about his shenanigans in the pursuit of viral fame. So, when he knocked on my door the other day, told me he was going away for a few weeks, and asked that I get his mail, honestly, it was a relief. I can’t explain the peace of mind I had knowing I didn’t have to brace myself for any of his stupidity for a while. I was always afraid his stunts would wind up bleeding over into my life.

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dating tom and sam has a thing for you : head canon 

requested: yes 

summary: all in the title :)

  • Sam didn’t mean to fall for you 
  • He didn’t even think it was more than a crush
  • And he absolutely wished he didn’t have these feelings 
  • You were his dating his older brother, Tom 
  • But he really couldn’t help himself
  • The first day Tom brought you home to meet the family he knew he was in trouble 
  • He couldn’t help but stare a little extra longer than he should’ve when you walked in behind Tom, your hand intertwined with his 
  • He couldn’t help but let his hand linger longer than it should’ve when you two shook hands 
  • He couldn’t help the blush rising on his freckled cheeks whenever you laughed
    • Especially at a joke he made, he wasn’t sure he could even speak after that moment 
  • He for sure couldn’t help the sting of jealousy whenever he noticed Tom’s hands on you, even in the most innocent gestures
  • He’d never developed a crush on someone that quickly
  • And it honestly worried him 
  • With his luck, the happy couple was staying for the weekend
  • Which meant he was given no choice but to spend more time with you
  • In the mornings, he was silently praising you for how beautiful you could look after just waking up, not a trace of makeup, not a trace of anything but sleep still evident in your eyes
  • In the afternoon, he had been messing around on the piano, only to find out you were standing behind him
  • You’d praise his talent, causing him to jump and spin around on the bench 
  • He’d slam the cover shut and jump up 
  • “I-uh, that wasn’t me” 
  • “Don’t deny it, you’re crazy good. Can you keep playing?”
  • He’s certain he lost the ability to breathe and forgot how to do so 
  • He’d sit back down cautiously and play the first melody that came to mind
  • As he did so, you’d take a seat next to him and watch the ways his fingers fluttered across the keys 
  • Your thigh would be gently touching his and even the slightest contact sent sparks through his body 
  • In the evenings, he silently admired the way you offered to help before and after dinner with various tasks
  • But the admiration was soon disrupted when he saw Tom come and wrap his arms around your waist from behind, a giggle leaving your lips as he’d pepper your face with kisses 
  • Sam actually prayed after you had left that the feelings would go away, that it was in the spur of the moment 
  • Those prayers went unanswered
  • A few weeks later you had posted on Instagram, a picture of you and Tom with enormous, matching grins
  • He felt his body run warm with envy 
  • Envious that it was Tom in the picture and not him 
  • You and Sam barely even spoke, but he still found himself infatuated with you 
  • When Tom texted him, called him, or visited, he felt pure guilt
  • It’s not like he had acted upon his crush, but he felt absolutely horrible for having these feelings towards someone his own brother was with 
  • Harry was the first to notice it 
  • “Bro, do you…like Y/N?”
  • “W-what? Where? When? Huh, how? N-no, who’s that?”
  • “God, you’re an awful liar.” 
  • Harry trying to help Sam come up with an intervention 
  • All progress was faltered after Sam’s phone had lit up with a text from you 
  • “Hey Sam! just wondering if there’s any good songs i could start learning on the piano?? since you’re obviously the master at it”
  • His jaw would drop slightly, Harry taking note immediately 
  • “No..Sam…bad Sam.” 
  • He’d respond almost instantly
  • Harry would end up taking his phone 
  • To Sam’s protests, his twin figured the only person that could help this problem would be Tom 
  • Harry rang Tom on FaceTime, shoving the phone in Sam’s face 
  • “Hey, Tom, hope all’s well, here’s your other favorite brother, he’s got to talk to you, alright bye” 
  • Tom being surprised by the random call but obviously happy to see Sam 
  • Sam would be quieter than usual for the first few minutes, insisting on listening to Tom tell stories of his career
  • Of course most of them included you since you tended to travel with him 
  • “IThinkILikeY/NI’mSoSorryI’mTheWorstBrotherEverAndIt’sJustACrushAndIt’llGoAwayAnd-”
  • Tom slightly chuckling at the confession 
  • “It’s alright, bro, I already knew” 
  • “Did Harry tell you, what the hell?”
  • “No, actually Y/N asked why you were so weird around her and I eventually picked it up. No hard feelings, mate” 
  • Sam visibly lets out the biggest sigh of relief 
  • He feels a weight being lifted off of him 
  • “Thank you, I’m sorry, I feel so bad” 
  • “It’s alright, I promise, but thank you for telling me and being honest” 
  • Sam being thankful he had the world’s greatest older brother 
  • The two of them talked for a little while longer before you of course appeared in the background 
  • You noticed Sam’s familiar face on the screen and waved after bidding a hello 
  • Sam returned the greeting and immediately went quiet after remembering he was on a call with Tom
  • Tom giggling at the exchange 
  • “What’s so funny?”
  • “Nothing, love” 
  • The freckled boy is just relieved Tom didn’t spill the beans 
  • However, Tom can tell Sam is back to being uncomfortable and reassures him after you leave the room 
  • “Don’t worry, bud. It’s just a crush and it happens to the best of us.” 
  • As time goes on, Sam does realize how great you are for Tom and starts to appreciate you for that reason 
  • And if the secret is accidentally spilled one year at Christmas after Tom has had one too many beer(s), Sam can’t help but blush all over again before being tackled in a hug by you 
  • “I’m honored, Sam, I really am” 
  • That was all he needed  
Bf!Tom and Spiders
  • Inspired by the massive spider in my room. Btw here did you go while I was making dinner??When I came back you were gone!



  • Tom and spiders
  • What a beautiful story
  • Okay let’s be real
  • He’s so afraid of the
  • Like how adorable is that
  • Okay so imagine you’re in your apartment
  • Under the shower actually
  • You had a long and kind of stressful day
  • You didn’t turn on many lights cause they would wake you up
  • So you were just having some time for yourself


  • Until you heard the loudest scream ever
  • Like e v e r
  • turning off the water,you stood there waiting 
  • What a drama queen
  • But you took your time
  • “I AM DYINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!111!1!1”
  • You made your way downstairs
  • And the sight was kind of very amusing
  • Tom stood on top of the table
  • Having nothing but pure panic on his face
  • You still thought he was overreacting
  • Turns out he wasn’t
  • Cause girl


  • You climbed on to the table next to Tom
  • “I think we won’t survive this and I just want to let you know, I love you. I really do with all of my heart.”
  • Awwww
  • That’s so cute
  • My heart can’t take this
  • “I love you more Holland.”
  • As kind of an response he leaned in and pressed his lips on your
  • Wow
  • Can you imagine kissing him
  • That’d be so amazing
  • Like he would so gentle ahhhh
  • But at the same time there was some eager
  • And he always had one hand on your waist and the other on cupped your cheek
  • Oiiii
  • And your hands would be either in his hair or his aRmS
  • I want this now


  • After some time it got pretty heated
  • Aka meaning you and Tom laying on the kitchen table
  • You wouldn’t have a shirt on anymore
  • And loverboy didn’t either
  • You’d be so lost that kind of forget about the
  • “Spider!”
  • You saw it while you were kissing him
  • It was on his upper back
  • Just laying there
  • You quickly moved away
  • “Okay love don’t panic.Just stay still.”
  • “Why do I feel something on my back?”
  • “Breathe.”
  • “Y/n what’s on my back!?!??”
  • He was only whisper shouting now
  • But you stayed silent
  • “God damn it what’s on my back right now!!!?”
  • After some time you mumbled a word that sounded like
  • “shwiner…”
  • “What? Love stop fucking around.”
  • “A spider okay! The spider is on you right now.“


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For @baneismydragon based on that one little idea you had.  Have a drabble.

“I’m sorry, I’m really busy right now-“

“Hey, don’t worry about it, babe.  I can wait.”

Sabine turned around and frowned, busying herself with arranging the vegetables set out to look more pleasing to the eye for the excuse of something to do to try and let the jerk that had been following her around for the past fifteen minutes know that she really could not talk right now.

Not that he was taking the hint.

And not that she would ever want to talk to him normally.

But her boss had made it clear that scaring off one more customer was a one way ticket to getting fired. And she needed this job.

“So, how about on your break you and I head around back and-“

Sabine was just deciding that she didn’t need this job that much when a large shadow fell over her.

“Are you bothering my girlfriend?”

Excuse me?!’ Sabine looked up, paused, then looked even further up.

A young man, probably about her own age, was standing between her and the creep who had been following her around.  He was, to put it simply, big.  Sabine wasn’t sure she had ever met someone so tall or broad, and her jaw dropped slightly as he crossed arms that had to be as thick around as her waist.

“I… um… uh…” The creep was backing away, attention fully on the man glaring at him.

“Get out of here.  If I see you around again, I’ll deal with you personally.” The young man unfolded his arms to quietly pop the knuckles on first one, then the other hand.

Sabine was certain, as the creep scurried off, that she had just went from the frying pan to the fire.

Suddenly the young man’s glower lightened, and he turned to beam a positively sunny smile at her. Now that he was facing her, she could tell that his eyes were bluer than any she had seen before, the blue of the deep ocean.

“Sorry about that, miss. I saw that he was bothering you, and I figured you couldn’t tell him off because of being at work, so…” He gave a sheepish smile, rubbing at the back of his neck with one hand.

Sabine’s knees went weak with relief, and she returned his smile with one of her own.  “Thank you.  My manager said that if I went off on one more customer that he’d fire me.”

The man blinked, then frowned and stuck his chin out in indignation.  “That’s awful!  You should be able to defend yourself while working.  Do you get guys like him often?”

“Way more than I’d like.” Sabine sighed and shook her head, nearly wanting to spit with irritation.  “They think I’m exotic because I’m Chinese.”

The man frowned a little, then gave her a shy, sweet smile.  “If you want, I could come and scare them off anytime you need me to.  I work in the bakery across the street as an apprentice.” He suddenly jumped, and his smile became more than a little sheepish. “I’m Tom, by the way.  Tom Dupain.”

Sabine smiled, and reached out to take the hand he held out and shake it.  “It’s nice to meet you, Tom.  I’m Sabine Cheng.  And yes, I’d like that a lot.”

anonymous asked:

do you think ned loved catelyn? that was the impression i very much got from the books and the show. my friend disagrees though and says while cat clearly loves ned, ned doesn't love her as much as she does him in the books.

Ned loves Catelyn very much. He’s a family man through and through (well beyond the point of political utility), and his relationship with Catelyn is absolutely essential to that.

Cut for length.

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Interruptions || Peter Parker Imagine

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 1,274 words

Request:  Heyo! I was wondering if I could get an Steve rogers dad! X Peter Parker x reader. Where the reader and Peter Parker are dating and Steve finds them making out and he kinda gets angry. He then awkwardly gives them the talk and it’s just weird and awkward between all of them?

A/N- poorly edited, whoops 


Originally posted by tbholland

Being the daughter of a ninety something year old super soldier wasn’t exactly easy for Y/N. She was born long after Steve had received the serum from Howard Stark, that gave him his abilities. Since the chemicals made an impact on his body’s natural chemistry, those same chemical alterations were passed on to his child. Y/N Rogers was raised on the outskirts of Queens, right by the border of Brooklyn. She grew up primarily raised by her mother, with her ‘aunts and uncles’ all being superheroes. Her father was very present in her live, but at times, he had missions that would last months. During her childhood, she moved closer and closer into the city, closer towards the Stark (eventually renamed for the Avengers) Tower.

Y/N knew Peter for a long time, since middle school in fact. He was on the floor, curled up into a small ball as a couple of upperclassmen stood above him, kicking and punching the living daylights out of him. No one deserved to be treated this way. Her father taught her better than that.

“Hey!” The small girl shouted, making the older boys turn towards her. “You have absolutely no right to treat that boy like this.” She was angry. One of the boys straightened his posture, letting out a breathless laugh, bumping his friend in the shoulder. “Yeah, what are you gonna do about it, huh?” The other boy teased, crossing his arms.

Pre-teen Y/N marched up to them, kneeing one of them in the groin. He leaned against the lockers, groaning in pain. She smirked, looking at the other boy with a raised brow, “You want some too?” He hurriedly shook his head, going to grab his friend before running down the hallway.

She walked up to the boy on the floor, picking up his glasses and going to sit on the floor next to him. He slowly sat up, wincing as he did so. He looked at her with his mouth opened slightly and wide eyes. Y/N smiled, handing the pair of dark glasses back to him. “T-thank you.” He mumbled, pulling his knees to his chest, avoiding eye contact. “No problem, kid.”

“Why….why did you help me?” He asked, looking into her eyes more confidently. Y/N shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t like bullies. I don’t care where they’re from.” It was silent for a second before she giggled.

“Sorry. I got that from my dad. I’m Y/N by the way.” She said as she stood up, holding her hand out for him to grab. He took her hand, pulling himself up, “I’m Peter.”

Y/N laughed, now four years later, as her boyfriend took a bite of his takeout Chinese food. “Would you rather be invisible for a day, or be able to fly for a day?” She asked, taking a bite of her own food.

Y/N and Peter have both changed since that one day in sixth grade. He was now more confident in himself, due to his recently obtained abilities. And Y/N was still his guardian angel, helping him get through every day as Peter. She was also a hero, taking after her father.

Peter contemplated that thought for a second, placing the now empty takeout container onto the table from his spot on the floor. “Well, if I were invisible, you wouldn’t be able to see my hot bod.” He said, making a gesture towards his body. She giggled, “Well, you’re not wrong.”

Y/N then mimicked his previous movements, placing the cardboard takeout box onto the table. “Okay, would you rather…kiss me, or…” he placed his hand on his chin, pretending to be in deep thought, “kiss me?” She smiled at the smirk on his face.

“That’s a very difficult decision Peter Parker. What do you think I should do?” She smirked back. Peter leaned in closer to her, beginning to whisper seductively, “I have a few ideas.”

He placed his lips on hers, leaning over her form. She smiled into the kiss, wrapping her hands around his neck, while he kept his hands on her hips. His forehead was pressed against hers as he moved himself to rest between her legs. The air around them was getting hotter by each second, their skin heating up and forming sweat. Pulling away for air, Y/N kept her eyes clothed for a second. When they opened, she looked up into his warm chocolate eyes.

“You have no idea how much I love you, Peter Parker.” She breathlessly said, holding onto his cheeks. Peter chuckled, “And I love you Y/N. More than anything.” He engulfed her lips with his once again. Despite the fact that they both just ate Chinese food, her lips still tasted like cotton candy. Her hands brushed into his hair, the soft curls feeling like clouds.

A set of keys jingled and jammed into the front door, but went unnoticed by the two love struck teens. The blonde haired man, clad in a black baseball cap, a dark pair of sunglasses and a beard, was carrying a brown paper bag filled with groceries. Steve looked over at the couch, and saw a brown haired boy on top of….. on top of his daughter.

Steve placed the bag onto the counter before taking a couple of strides to loudly slam the door. Peter jumped off of his girlfriend, moving as far away from her as he could. “M-Mr. Rogers…. I-I was just, I was.” He was a stuttering mess as the super solider stepped closer and closer to the boy with an unpleasant look on his face.

“You were just doing what exactly?” Steve was now towering over Peter with crossed arms. The teen gulped, visually terrified. Y/N stood up from the floor, walking over to the pair. “Dad,” she said as she placed her hand on his shoulder gently, “you’re scaring him.”

His demeanor softened. He had a soft spot for his daughter. Steve sighed, grabbing both of the kids by their arms and sitting them on opposite ends of the couch, while he sat between them.

Steve cleared his throat, “Y/N, since you’re getting older, and your body is changin-”. Before he could complete his statement, Y/N interrupted, “Dad, please don-”.

“Trust me, I know what it’s like for that to happen.” He nervously chuckled while folding his hands together, as he ignored Y/N’s statement. “You are going to have these umm, these feelings…” He paused, looking at the kids on either side of him and seeing their beet red faces. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel embarrassed either.

“Jesus,” he shook his head and stood up from the couch, “I… this is as awkward for me as it is for you.”

“I highly doubt that sir.” Peter mumbled, not looking anywhere but at his lap. Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just don’t do anything stupid alright? I don’t want a super-spidey running around.” He walked, more like ran, to get out of the uncomfortable airspace.  

The room was silent for a moment, Y/N and Peter not making eye contact. “So,” Peter said, clearing his throat, breaking the silence, and scooting closer towards her, “do you still want to make out?”

Y/N opened her mouth in shock, sharply turning her head to the side. “Seriously Peter? ” She couldn’t help but let out a laugh, making her boyfriend smile.

Loki Imagine - Tortured

Your P.O.V.

A task as simple as breathing felt nearly impossible. My lips were open and I tried to breathe in, but barely any air entered my lungs. My throat was sore and I could taste the irony, disgusting flavor of blood on my tongue. 

It couldn’t end like this..

Desperately, I tried to crawl away from this dark place, who knows what it was. All I knew was that it was cold, so cold I couldn’t feel my bare feet anymore. It was also really dark but a light was somewhere there, far away. The ground beneath me was hard and it felt rough, like stones. 

I grabbed onto the ground, leaving bloody fingerprints after me as I did my best at getting myself out of this nightmare. My legs weren’t much help at all as I tried to kick myself further away. Everything hurt. I couldn’t name a spot on my body that felt fine.

‘‘No..’‘ I whimpered sadly, tears running down along my face. By now, my entire body was trembling. I was afraid I would die after that awful torturing. What if I’d never see Loki again?

‘‘L-Loki..’‘ I whispered my boyfriend’s name. It caused my heart to swell and a sob to escape my lips. It hurt. Oh, it hurt so much. As I used my last energy to move, I screamed. My fingertips started tingling and a little light appeared, highlighting only a few things around me. 

Yes, Loki had taught me a few little magic tricks but I wasn’t as near as good as him. As I was held captive, my hands had been inside some metal balls so I couldn’t use my powers. It was frightening. The things they did to me were even worse.

I tried to brush it off my mind, hoping I could focus on my escape. I shut my eyes and it was so tempting to just sleep. Yes, I wanted to push my boundaries, light up my path and get away from here but I couldn’t. I was exhausted. All this pain got the best of me.

The light vanished from my hands, fading into thin air with a few sparkles. I looked at them until it was completely dark, cold and quiet. My weak body was just left here to die, all alone. I thought of Loki, hoping he could be my last thought, although it broke my heart and soul to think about. 

  Just as I gave up hope, I heard footsteps. Fear crawled back to me as I opened my eyes. Were they here again to torture me? Would they take me back to that cold hellhole? 

I grunted in pain as I lifted my head and looked towards the light. I was lightheaded and my head was pounding terribly. Then I saw some people in front of the light. At first I thought there was just two people there but then a third one got ahead of them. For me, it was just a shadow because my vision was so blurry.

‘‘Y/N!’‘ A voice yelled but at first, I didn’t hear it quite well.My head hit the ground again because I was too weak to keep myself up. ‘‘Y/N!’‘ The person repeated themselves, sounding awfully familiar. The man had a raspy, deep voice. It filled me up with hope.

All of a sudden, I felt someone dragging me on their lap. My head rested against their shoulder and strong arms held onto me tightly. I forced myself to open my eyes and look at who it was, although I had my doubts. Immediately, I saw a pair of forest green eyes looking into mine. Then I saw his dark, long hair, his parted, pink lips. It was all confirmed in my mind then. It was Loki.

‘‘No, no,no…Y/ did this..happen..’‘ Loki muttered words underneath his breath as he examined me. He looked sad, which was awful to see. His eyes were glossy and honestly, Loki was shocked. So was I. But at the moment, I could barely keep my eyes open.

Loki looked at my barely clothed body, a look of disgust and anger appearing on his face. My entire body was bruised and I had deep wounds here and there. Dry blood had stained my skin and some wounds were still bleeding. Loki probably noticed the dark blue bruises, resembling fingerprints. He shook his head no as he let this all sink in.

Seeing Loki like that made me feel sorrowful and even guilty. My eyes felt heavy and I couldn’t fight it anymore. My heavy eyelids just slid down and I dosed off, a little more eased because I was in Loki’s arms.


It had been five days since Loki and his guards had found me. They had taken me to the castle and given me the help I needed. A maid had told me that Loki had used his magic to keep me alive. Although I woke up only a few minutes ago, I barely remembered how I woke up. Everything had been warm and comfortable. It’s like I was in my own little cloud.

But then maids had rushed to me and another one ran outside, probably to inform Loki. The warm feeling vanished and it was replaced my pain. I held my breath as I sat more comfortably on the bed I was on. As I looked around, I recognized that I was in Loki’s room. How strange. Where did he sleep if I was in a coma in his bed?

The maid beside me was telling me all kinds of things but after a while, I couldn’t pay attention anymore. I felt wistful. All I wanted was Loki. ‘’Miss Y/N, what’s wrong?’’ One of the maids asked me. I turned to look at her slowly. ‘’Where’s Loki?’’ I asked her quietly, my throat incredibly dry so it was hard to speak. 

‘‘He’s..’‘ She began but didn’t continue. Instead, she looked at a guard who stood by the door. It was confusing and I grew a little nervous. The guard nodded and the maid sighed, turning back to me. ‘‘Loki left four days ago. He and a few soldiers, also Thor went searching for whoever did this to you. We’re not sure when he’ll be back’‘ She let me know with her soft voice. It filled me with a dozen emotions. 

Tears stung my eyes once again. A shiver ran down my spine as I nodded and looked at my wounded hands. It all came back to me. The world around my closed and I could feel myself being in the cold room, chained to the wall as the monsters hurt me. It was so dark that I couldn’t see if they were Asgardian or out of this realm. 

‘‘Miss Y/N’‘ Another maid spoke, snapping me out of my flashback. I flinched as I looked at the blonde in front of me. ‘‘Loki will return soon. You must relax and heal’‘ She smiled at me. I knew her intentions were good but they kind of pissed me off as well. I just nodded politely and then leaned against the green and black pillows. They smelled like Loki, which made me feel a little bit better.


‘‘Is she awake?’‘ A rushed man asked someone, causing me to wake up once again. My eyes got used to the lights in the room quickly, because it wasn’t that bright. By just glancing outside, I could tell it was evening. The door opened, which caught my attention.

Loki walked into the room, making everyone else go out. My heart skipped a beat as I saw him. Loki was dressed in his golden armor with the green suit underneath. He dropped his headpiece on the floor, not caring about it at the moment.

‘‘You’re safe now’‘ Loki was the first one to speak. He tried to smile but it was a fake one. I nodded as my hot tears fell down my eyes. Loki magically made his armor vanish as he walked over to me. He got in the huge bed so he could be as close as possible.

For a moment, I didn’t care about my pain. I had been asleep for five days so I considered that enough rest. So I wrapped my arms around Loki’s waist and held onto him tightly. Loki wasn’t the type of man to fall for anyone or be this sensual nor caring. He spent such a long time of his life being alone and misunderstood that I was surprised he let me in.

It took him a couple seconds to hug me back. It felt good to be in his arms. He pulled me on his lap once again, which he liked to do. That’s when I let myself weep, allowing the tears to escape. Loki held me as I cried my heart out in his arms. But it was good to let out all that pain. I had been terrified and the worst part of it all was that I feared I’d never see Loki again.

‘‘They can’t ever..hurt you again, little one. I took care of them’‘ Loki whispered to me as I started to calm down. Of course, I knew what he meant by that. Loki wouldn’t have been pleased to see them in jail. He had taken matters into his own hands and killed them. Who knows how Thor let him do that, but we could discuss that later.

‘‘Thank you’‘ I whimpered and then looked up to him. I got a good look of him for the first time. He had dark circles underneath his eyes, messy hair and tears gathered in the corners of his pretty eyes. I cupped his face and then took a deep breath.

‘‘I thought I lost you’‘ Loki admitted quietly, almost like he didn’t want me to hear it. Hearing such words leaving his mouth was hard. It made my heart ache. ‘‘And I thought I’d never see you again’‘ I replied as quietly, now unnoticingly playing with his black, messy hair. I still loved the way he looked. 

I just had to understand that I was safe with him again.

Baby Daddies

Requested: idk why but i’m having some serious baby fever. could you something with a character(s) of your choosing with kids that’s super fluffy and amazing like the rest of your writing?

(you have two children with two different baby daddies lol bye) 

Pairings: Stiles Stilinski x Reader, Issac Lahey x Reader 

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5 Reasons Room for Ruby is Poorly Written

Here’s a link to my Mellow Frames of the episode if you want to read that before you read this review. 

Aw Room for Ruby, it’s a decisive episode. Not just for the fandom, but also for yours truly. There’s some things I really like about this episode, but also some things I really hate about this episode. However, one thing I know for sure is that it’s a really poorly written episode. Now just because it’s a poorly written episode doesn’t mean it’s a terrible episode. Hit the Diamond is a poorly written episode that I love. Room for Ruby is somewhere in between a poorly written episode that’s still charming like Hit the Diamond and a hard to watch poorly written episode like Fusion Cuisine. Now let’s get on to the list. 

1. The Beginning is Contrived, Horribly Improbable and Lazy 

As someone who has written before and has read multiple screenplays I would tell you that it can be hard to connect your plot points. Sometimes the writer knows what’s meant to happen in a story, but they don’t know how to get to that point. Beginnings can be hard to write is what I’m saying. However, that will not stop me from saying that the beginning to Room for Ruby is lazy as hell. Navy just lands in front of the temple, no real build up or no reason, she just lands in front of the temple. You have to have your turning points in your story happen more naturally than that. It’s like if you wanted to start a romance story by having character #1 go up to character #2 and say “Hey you seem nice, let’s date”, to which character #2 said “sure”, then the plot begins. It’s not only lazy for an opening, but it’s also confusing. What are the fucking chances she lands in front of the temple. She was drifting in space and fell to the Earth( which is really huge) to fall exactly in front of the temple. If she did it on purpose then how the fuck did she accomplish that!? I’m guessing she didn’t do it on purpose because she didn’t know the location of the temple, so she just happen to fall in front of the temple. That is really contrived Lauren! 

2. It’s Hard Not to Take Navy’s Side Here 

Originally posted by stevensstars

One thing I loved about the episode was Navy turning out to be “evil”. I really like what they did with the Ruby Squad where they first appeared to be dumb comic relief nuisances, but actually turned out to be somewhat legit threats. Eyeball trying to kill Steven was a big surprise, but Navy tricking the Barned Gems was a bigger surprise. I like how they pull it off in the episode. In most of the episode it wasn’t even considered that Navy could’ve been tricking them (yes a lot of the fandom was suspicious, but the characters weren’t), then she wanted to see their ship and tricked them. This was great. Here’s the downside, she’s kind of in the right.The ending of the episode treats it like she was being a sadist, but she wasn’t. Her anger towards them is justified (which to be fair the episode does mention) and she flung them over water where they would be safe. It’s not like she tried to kill them, she just wanted some catharsis. I can easily see a likable hero doing something like that.

Also the Crystal Gems left the Rubies stranded in space and didn’t even try looking for them once. Yes this was a problem outside of this episode, but this episode could’ve fixed this a little with a small change. Have Steven and Garnet look for the Rubies at the beginning of the episode (also imply that they’ve been doing this regularly) and have them find Navy. This would’ve made the CGs look less like the bad guys and also would’ve fixed the problem with the opening being contrived. Navy’s betrayal would’ve seem more like a betrayal too. The sloppy writing involving the Rubies is definitely why half of the fandom was like “How dare you!” and the rest were like “You go girl!” 

3. Lapis Being the One Who Objects Doesn’t Work 

Originally posted by doafhat

Here’s something I did like the first time I saw the episode. It was Lapis’ objection to Navy staying there. I liked that the show was finally giving Lapis a little character development and I liked that they presented not getting use to something quickly as a positive. However, the more I thought about it and after I rewatched the episode I realized that Lapis objecting to Navy staying there doesn’t work. First her objection is pretty much that Navy has forgiven them way too quickly, which is ironic for Lapis to say because Lapis has not brought up once to the Crystal Gems about the whole mirror incident. She doesn’t seem to show any resentment towards them at all. I don’t think it’s conceited to say that I’ve handled this better because I have a running joke about Lapis getting revenge on Pearl by using her water punch on her at random times. 

Lapis second objection is that Navy is getting use to the Earth way too quickly since it apparently took Lapis a long time to get use to the Earth. Yes, it took Lapis so long to get use to the Earth, like 1 episode, maybe 2. Some of you might argue that maybe it took her awhile to get use to the Earth while she was living in the Barn. If that’s the case than that’s really lazy writing and a huge side effect of that cursed barn. Actions speak louder than words and that definitely applies to fiction. Lapis’ dialogue in this episode breaks so many show don’t tell rules. Now this isn’t just the fault of this episode, but when you’re trying to write a continuation to a story than you need to make sure the pieces fit with what’s been established. I’m not actually against the story Room for Ruby was telling, but Lapis is terribly miscast as the objector. Now if only there was another Gem in this episode where it would make more sense to be the objector… Wait a minute! 

Originally posted by geekylaugifs

Peridot would have worked so much better! Think about it. Peridot went through multiple episodes where she had to get use to the Earth. She had to get over Homeworld bigotry, she had to learn to value the life on Earth, and she had to be disillusioned to the Diamonds. Her transition to loving the Earth was so much harder than Lapis’ and we actually got to see it. I could see Peridot saying Lapis’ dialogue in this episode and it working a lot better. Unfortunately, they decided they had “better” uses for Peridot. 

4. What Are You Doing to Peridot!?

Originally posted by sapphirerose818

This episode is really frustrating because it features two of my favorite characters of the show at their absolute worst. The first one they featured at their worst was Peridot. She got a lobotomy before this episode happened. In the episode she is completely happy go lucky and doesn’t question anything. There’s even a scene where Peridot is hanging of the back of Navy’s ship and she’s all like “Wow Navy is showing us the ocean!”. What happened to that wonderful three dimensional character we got in Season 2? The fucking barn happened! That fucking barn. 

5. What Are You Doing to Garnet!? 

Originally posted by gemster

Like Peridot, Garnet was also one of my favorite characters that the show has slowly ruined. They didn’t even have to use a barn to ruin her. Back in my Mellow Frames for Mindful Education I made fun of how Garnet is only used as a fusion wise guide. The show pretty much took that as “you think Garnet only talking about fusion is bad, we can make her worse”. The Garnet since Mindful Education comes off as a huge idiot, especially in this episode. Why didn’t Garnet go with Steven to redeem Navy? This could’ve been a good opportunity for Garnet to get some good screen time, or even have her unfuse and have Ruby help her fellow Ruby. The ending implied that Garnet used her Future Vision and saw a possible future where Navy joins the gems and a future where she betrays them. If that’s the case then Garnet not going with Steven is even dumber. Why couldn’t she have gone to make sure they don’t do anything stupid like what they ended up doing in the episode? Her reaction to what happened also makes it look like she too had a lobotomy before the episode begun. Her reaction to Navy stealing the ship is pretty much “oh well, at least we tried”. Um Garnet, this is actually a pretty big deal! A homeworld gem stole your only ship and is no doubt going to tell the Diamonds what happened leading to another homeworld invasion! This is pretty dam serious Garnet! God! What this show did to Garnet is so disheartening and this episode made it worse. They even fucking shrunk her. 

Now that is the five reasons why Room for Ruby is a terribly written. Now I honestly don’t think it’s a terrible episode since I thought it was entertaining, had a good story in theory (just poorly executed), and Navy’s betrayal was awesome. I would say it’s passable. Now my next review is going to be of a Lauren Zuke episode that a lot of fans hate, Rocknaldo. I’m going to be a little controversial and tell you why that episode is actually good. 

I work at a sub shop. Today my boss (he is super chill, very thankful for him!) let me go home early because I am SUPER FUCKING PISSED OFF.

The reason: children who think it is funny to throw soda at you right after they pissed all over the bathroom.

When I mean pissed all over the bathroom, I mean literally. There was even somehow piss near the ceiling.

They also unrolled all of the toliet paper and threw it around all over the floor.

They also came in and did it again. Right after I cleaned it up. My boss saw me shaking with anger and said I could go home if I wanted to. I decided to because I am still furious.

Today is October 7th. This happened today.

Not My Type (Beverly Marsh/Reader)

Originally posted by maryjosez

(A/N: I cannot write today this is not good. Still I wanted to do this asap bc I’m gay as hell. Sorry it’s repetitive and bad goodnight.)

Request: “for a beverly x reader: how about the losers got to the arcade and they see the reader all the boys each take turns trying to talk and flirt with her only to be shot down. after all the boys have been shot down, richie makes a joke that bev will be the only only successful at talking to her. while he was saying this no one realized that she was coming towards them. she interupts him by slinging her arm around bev’s shoulder because her and bev have been dating secretly for a couple months.”

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Bang, Bang

Darkstache fic, angst, hurt/comfort, guilt, mental breakdowns. (This is also posted on my AO3).

October 13th: the day Mark took everything from them. It’s been a long time, but they’re still struggling to live with the aftermath of what happened.

@mayor-damien-protection-squad (thought I’d tag you here since I’ve seen that you do encourage being tagged in this kind of thing. I hope you don’t mind.)

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still got it

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, @bleebug! I hope you’ve been having a fantastic day! This was just supposed to be some fluffy Old Hook stuff, but then it ran away from me and got feelz-y and CS-y. So I hope you like it and that you have an absolutely wonderful birthday!

Summary: Elderly gentleman Killian Jones is not the devilishly handsome scoundrel he was as a young man. But he still seems to have caught the eye of a silver-haired beauty at the pub, though he’s not sure why. She plans on showing him. (Old CS fic; light M; 2.1 k; AO3)

There was some activity in the pub around him, but otherwise the bar was quiet—perfect for leaving an old man alone with his thoughts and memories. Granted, Killian Jones had probably had far too much of that in his life, but the solitude was fine company for another night.

So he sipped his ale while nestled in the corner of a booth, observing the other patrons and laughing at the young men’s attempts at wooing the fairer sex. Not that he was a particularly fine example of a man, but he had been in his youth: trim, handsome, and all too aware of it. He’d taken such pride in his appearance back then, but lately had found himself wondering—where had that scoundrel gone?

“Is this seat taken?” a woman asked, and he glanced around until realizing she was talking to him; it had been quite some time since that happened. Before him stood what was surely an angel: a gorgeous woman, about his age judging by the lines on her face and the silver of her braided hair, with soft curves and an ample bosom supported by what was clearly supposed to be a peasant’s costume of a maroon corset and patchwork skirt, but the materials were too fine to belong to anyone not of high standing. He didn’t mean to leer, but he was rendered speechless not only by her appearance, but by her attention as well.

“Please; be my guest,” he finally replied, gesturing to the open booth across from him. She slid in and he continued, “Apologies for my poor form, milady, but it’s not often a beauty such as yourself seeks company with the humble likes of me.”

“I find that very hard to believe,” she observed, her green eyes sparkling as she raked them over him. “Surely a devilishly handsome gentleman such as yourself has no lack of female companionship.”

He scoffed, but took a sip of his drink to hide the blush rising on his cheeks. He was fairly positive he was far from the eye candy he once was, but if she wanted to play, he could certainly take part in the game. “I can’t say ‘never,’ but it’s been some time. I’ve a question for you, though: what, pray tell, brings a woman of your standing to a disreputable dive such as this?”

“What makes you think I’m anything but a common bar wench?”

“You carry yourself as though you were royal. One might even say you bear a resemblance to the Queen.”

She shrugged and giggled, a girlish thing that was music to his ears. “I get that a lot.”

“As you should.” He hummed for a moment, thinking. “But that doesn’t answer my question: what are you doing here, and with a crusty old pirate like me?”

“I’m looking for some company.”

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Equinox by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, sith!obi-wan, 48.2k wip
   During the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan and Anakin crash on a remote planet and take shelter in the ruins of a grand estate only to find they are not alone.
And There Shall I Find by ambiguously, anakin & leia, 5.6k
   After her shuttle crashes on a desolate world, Leia has only one person to keep her company.
Certain Point by esama, obi-wan & anakin/padme & dooku & cast, time travel, 15k wip
   In which Ben Kenobi travels back in time to a turning point in history.
untitled by swhurtcomfort, obi-wan & anakin & cast, sickfic, h/c, ~1k
   Anakin wakes up to a world that’s still spinning.
untitled by swhurtcomfort, obi-wan & anakin & kix & cody, sickfic, ~1k
   Just wanted to write something schmoopy and cute for @finish-the-clone-wars ‘s Writing Wednesday prompt: Virus
Negotiation by Glare, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & bail & cast, NSFW, dark!obi-wan, modern au, serial killer au, dark themes, 86.7k
   Over a year ago, Coruscant Police Detective Anakin Skywalker vanished without a trace while hunting the prolific serial killer known within the media as “The Negotiator”. Now, Skywalker has been found and rescued from captivity in a cabin deep within the Naboo wilderness, the only known survivor of an encounter with The Negotiator. The only question on anyone’s mind is: What happened during his time away?
untitled by subskywalker, obi-wan/anakin NSFW, modern au, ~1k
   Anakin could only hold onto the counter in the restroom and try to keep quiet as Ben gripped his hips hard enough to leave bruises and fuck into him.
Pursuit by Icse, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, modern au, 8.5k wip
   Anakin Skywalker is a Grand Prix jumper transitioning into the Eventing world. While his scores are good during the cross-country and show jumping phases of Eventing, his dressage scores are abysmal. His sponsor sets him up as a working student for two-time Dressage Gold Medalist Ben Kenobi to help him pursue his dream of competing in the Olympics.
untitled by darthcuddles, obi-wan/anakin, modern au, ~1k
   Anakin rushes through the hall of the local vet, a black and white kitten in his jacket, and the blood of the little creature streaming down his chest. The nails are dug deeply into his skin, but he ignores his own pain for the little meows coming from the kitten.
untitled by frost-and-stars, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, ~1k
   gffa asked: SEXY MEME #15 - Make sure you leave a mark., Obikin. Anakin likes feeling the marks Obi-Wan leaves on him (biting? finger-shaped bruises on his hips? rope marks from where they pressed into his skin?), always urging for more, because he wants to see them the next day and be reminded!
untitled by mthingthepoint, obi-wan/anakin/padme, dragon!anakin, ~1k
   puelhathnofury asked: YOU OWE ME THE PREQUELS DRAGON OT3
Sky Walkers by esama, anakin & rex & hevy & fives & echo, 3.8k
   In which some clones rescue a Jedi in the deserts of Tatooine (aka, Jedi as a species of living spaceships because, y'know, why not?
Identity by madame_alexandra, 353.9k
   A distress signal reaches Coruscant after the Empire’s demise, claiming to be the beacon of Bail Organa. what would the reappearance of Leia’s adoptive father mean for her life in a post ROTJ context. What would he think of Han Solo, and what could he tell her about the dark shadow of her heritage? H/L; significantly AU, I suppose.
Disappointment by Icse, obi-wan/anakin, au, a/b/o, 1.6k
   All Anakin wants is a child. As an omega and the Prince Consort with access to the best doctors in the Galaxy, it shouldn’t be this hard to get pregnant. He can’t help but feel like a disappointment at yet another failure.

full details + recs under the cut

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anonymous asked:

Ok I know you're busy but please please please write whatever pairing you want for the post of the person who is advertising their services as being a terrible date to your family Thanksgiving dinner. No rush. Whenever you want. IF you want. Your life things absolutely come first

This has now been posted to AO3 here!

-Refers to this post  (text is there, but I changed to better match the situation/add in a joke or two)

A/N: This is set before the sort of reconciliation we get between Eliza and Alex (for reasons, even though other things have already happened that canonically take place post-reconciliation and really the timeline is all sorts of fucked but I’m beyond sleep-deprived), and since I’m writing from Alex’s POV, their relationship will sound pretty shitty, though it’s not the focus here. Also, this is pure crack–probably fairly terrible crack. In case anyone worried it would be serious….

Chapter Text

Knitting her eyebrows together in confusion, Alex reread at the vague subject line in her inbox: “Saw this, thought of you.” Knowing it was from Lucy already had her on high alert—the last time she’d unthinkingly opened a link from one of her emails at work, she’d ended up with the video for “Dick in a Box” playing at full volume to the surprise (and amusement) of her DEO recruits. But, since she was at home and more than a little curious, she clicked on the link, finding herself on a Craigslist ad that read:

“It’s Thanksgiving. Want to skip that long, insulting conversation about how youre still single? About how your parents really want more grand children? Well, look no further!

I am a 29 year old ex-con (long story, don’t worry, I’m plenty friendly!) with no family to worry about and a dirty pickup truck one year younger than me painted with some Scissor Sisters album cover artwork (there when I got it, but I like it too much to change it). I can play anywhere between the ages of 25 and 35 depending on hair and makeup. I’m a bartender and work late nights. If you’d like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I’m game.

I can do these things, at your request:
• Openly hit on other female guests while you act like you don’t notice
• Start instigative discussions about politics and/or religion (I prefer to play the flaming liberal atheist, but can adapt depending on how promising the dessert selection will be and how much it would piss off your shitty family)
• Propose to you in front of everyone (I’ve got a cheap ring and all)
• Pretend to be really drunk as the evening goes on (sorry, I don’t really drink much anymore, but I used to. A lot. too much in fact… I know the drill)
• Start an actual, physical fight with a family member, either inside or on the front lawn for all the neighbors to see (I require advance warning if I’m not to harm them in any real way or leave marks)

I require no pay but the free meal I will receive as a guest!”

Scowling, Alex switched over to email and sent back: “What the hell, Lane?”

Mere seconds later a reply came back in: “Morning to you too, Alex! You said you didn’t want to deal with your mom and your sister’s shitty boyfriend alone again so… voila! A solution—and it’s free.”

“I’m not going to hire an escort service,” Alex shot back.

“She says ‘strictly platonic,’ so it’s really not an escort service. And you’re not paying her, just feeding her. C’mon, think of all the joy those stories could bring to me, your dear friend, your oldest friend.”

“You arrested me for treason.”

“Hey look! Something you two have in common. You could totally bond about being ex-cons together.”

“Fuck off.”

“Do it!”


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kingkunta2017  asked:

Headcanon on momo, tsuyu, toru dealing with there s/o being popular with the girls in school

I don’t think I can write for Toru, I’m really sorry, I just don’t know that much about her character :(

Originally posted by angrycucco

~ She notices, but it doesn’t really bother her unless one of the girls make a serious move

~ She tends to put a good amount of trust in her S/O after a while, so she doesn’t worry about his cheating or lying to her most of the time

~ This girl gets ThReAtEnInG when jealous though

Originally posted by tetsuhrou

~ She doesn’t even notice at first but might get a little insecure if she saw all the girls hitting or flirting with him

~ She tends to end up thinking stuff like ‘Oh that girls so much prettier than me’ or ‘What if they leave me for her’ but is hesitant to tell her S/O that

~ Her S/O will definitely have to reassure her that they love her and nothing could compare, etc

~ Might end up comforting someone if it got too serious, but I highly doubt it