this is all i can do cryin

The One Where It’s Wrong

Pairing: John Murphy x Reader

Summary: Charlotte was your little sister and yet somehow, despite her death being largely Murphy’s fault, you had fallen for him. But some things are just too wrong, too unforgivable and forgiving him for your sisters death would be one of them.

A/N: first ‘the 100′ imagine, hope you guys enjoy! i’m upto season 2 and finn is my fave so for those of you who have watched all of it, yall know im cryin!

MASTERLIST, MOBILE MASTERLIST (you can like it and save it for later!)
—————————————————————————————————-

“What are you doing here Murphy?” you groan as he walks into your tent.

“Bellamy is looking for you,” he mumbles, picking up things and examining them.

“Put that down,” you sigh as he picks up your bracelet.

“How do I look?” you ask, twirling around, “It’s a little hard to look nice without a mirror but-“

“You look great,” Murphy cuts you off, barely looking at you, “You’d better go see Bellamy. You know how he gets when people are late.”

“You’re right,” you grumble, rushing past him, “Oh and Murphy?”

“Yeah?”

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you stuck around.”

As you enter Bellamy’s tent a girl rushes out, half in tears and half naked.

“I see you’re treating women as you usually do – good to see nothing’s changed,” you scoff, crossing your arms over your chest, “Murphy said you wanted to see me?”

“Yeah. I’m sending both of you on a mission.”

“A mission? We’re not in the FBI,” you laugh and he raises a brow, “The what?”

“Guess you never read any of those history books up in the Ark, huh?”

“You’re right. I was too busy –“

Safeguarding your sister, blah blah blah – I know. So what’s the mission?”

“You both need to go to the dropship. Bring back Octavia and Lincoln.”

“There are grounders everywhere. Plus, you’re not in charge anymore, Abigail-“

Abigail and everyone else are busy safeguarding Finn. Can you do this or should I ask someone else?”

“Fine, I’ll go,” you huff, “We’ll leave now, before the sun is up.”

As you go back to your tent you find Murphy holding up one of your bra’s between his thumb and forefinger as though it was toxic, “Never seen one of these?” you scoff, snatching it out of his hand.

“Many, actually.”

“Good to know,” you roll your eyes, “Did Bellamy tell you about-“

“Yeah. We’d better get going,” he states, walking out and you pull him back by his arm.

“Can I trust you’ll have my back?”

“Always,” he smirks, slapping your ass as he exits and you slap in the back of the head, “Don’t ever do that again,” you grumble, shoving past him.

As you reach the dropship, you notice a knife in a tree, “Someone’s been here,” you mumble, pulling it out, “This isn’t one of ours.”

“Grounders?”

“Reapers,” you sigh, “Be on guard, I’m going to go get Octavia.”

“Get me for what?” she asks, walking down the ramp.

“We need to get you and Lincoln back to the Alpha station.”

“Why?”

“Bellamy wants you both- WATCH OUT MURPHY!” you yell as a reaper bounds towards him.

It shoves him to the ground, strangling him. You line up the shot, shooting it right in the head and Murphy rolls over, gasping for air.

“You okay?” you ask, crouching next to him and helping him sit up.

He coughs and sputters, slowly nodding.

“Let’s get out of here,” you sigh, helping him up, “Octavia, get Lincoln and follow us!”
—————————————————————————————————-

“Why are you so nice to me?” Murphy asks as you wipe down his face with a wet cloth.

“What do you mean?”

“I killed your sister.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, shaking your head, “She jumped. And she killed Wells, she would’ve never been able to live with that.”

“She was only a little girl…”

“I know,” you sigh, your eyes stinging, “But there’s no point holding onto that.”

“Still. You don’t have to be nice to me.”

I don’t have to but we’re on the same side Murphy and I believe in forgiveness, even for those who don’t deserve it at times.

Murphy nods slowly, “I really am sorry. I never meant-“

“You can make up for it by not being an asshole,” you cut him off, standing up and suting yourself off.

You begin to tidy the tent, “Sleep Murphy, you need to get some rest.”

Your hands move faster than your mind can process. It had all gotten to you; the war, the death, the loss and worst of all, all the blood on your hands.

“Y/N,” Murphy whispers, pulling your hands into his, “Look at me.”

Your eyes flicker to his, “I killed another person today, Murphy.”

“That wasn’t a person,” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, “He would’ve killed all of us if not for you.”

You shake our head, squeezing your eyes shut as tears fall out.

Murphy caresses your face, his thumb running over a scar on your cheek, “Maybe you should get some rest.”

“I’m on watch.”

“I can take your shift,” he smiles and you nod, curling up on the floor and Murphy places his jacket over you as you dose off.
—————————————————————————————————-

“You don’t think they-“ Finn begins.

“No,” Clark shakes her head laughing before her expression hardens, “No.”

“No way,” Raven laughs as she enters your tent, “When did this happen?” she giggles, kicking Murphy in the shin.

“What the fuck,” he groans, slowly waking up.

You wake up due to the noise and your eyes widen as you find a shirtless Murphy beside you, both of you entangled together.

“What are you doing?!” you shove him away, scrambling away from him.

“I was – you were-“

Murphy looks from you to the crowd gathered around the two of you.

“I’m sorry – did you climb into bed without her knowing?” Raven furrows her brows together, walking towards him and Clark pulls her back.

“I’m sure he has an explanation,” she says through gritted teeth, looking annoyed herself.

“S-she was shivering and I thought body warmth-“

“Why not just take her to Abigail if she was shivering that badly?”

Murphy swallows hard, “I guess-“

“He was thinking with his penis and not his head… or should I say his little head and not his actual head,” Finn scoffs and Clark slaps his arm, glaring at him.

“Everyone go back to their posts,” Clark grumbles, “Murphy, if you so much as lay a finger on her again without her permission, you’ll be banished again,” she growls, “Get dressed.”

As everyone leaves the tent you stare at Murphy, wide eyed.

“I’m s-sorry, I wasn’t-“

You abruptly stand up, pulling your jacket over your shoulders, “I should get to work,” you mumble, basically running out of the tent.
—————————————————————————————————-

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Murphy pulls you aside, his breathing heavy, “Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not,” you mumble, looking past him, “I’m on guard duty Murphy, I have to-“

“You can spare a minute,” he spits, “Is this about the other night?”

“No.”

“Don’t lie.”

“You want to talk about lying? Why don’t we talk about what actually happened the other night…

“Y-you remember?”

“I didn’t when I woke up but I did later on.”

“Y/N…”

“You said you were in love with me and then you kissed me.”

“You didn’t stop me…”

“I didn’t want to,” you sigh, “I wished we could’ve stayed like that forever.”

Murphy’s eyes widen, “Y-you – you like me too?”

“I shouldn’t,” you sigh, running your fingers through your hair, “It’s wrong.”

“Why?” he pulls your hand into his, stepping closer to you.

“Like you said, you killed my sister. I can’t just let that go.”

You can’t or everyone around us can’t?”

“People won’t understand.”

“Fuck them.”

“Murphy, I’m in love with the boy who everyone hates.”

Murphy smirks, “In love?”

You nod slowly, looking at your hand in his, “I’m scared.”

“I’ll protect you. From everyone. From everything.”

“Murphy; I’m scared of you.”

Murphy slumps, “Like everyone else…”

“I’m not scared you’ll hurt me. Not physically anyway. I’m scared you’ll break my heart… I’m scared you’ll leave me to save yourself.”

“Hey,” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, “I would never.”

“I know I’m the ‘asshole of the 100’ but it’s different with you.”

You stand there staring at each other awkwardly before you clear your throat, trying to lighten the mood.

“Promise me John,” you smirk and his eyes widen in displeasure, “Don’t call me John.”

You push him playfully, “Come on John,” you giggle, “Promise me.”

Murphy pins you against the wall, his hands on your waist and you suck in a sharp breath.

He softly presses his lips to yours, pulling away but still hovering, “I promise,” he whispers, sending chills down your spine.

He pulls away, “I also promise that if you ever call me John again, I’ll tell everyone about why you were really arrested on the Ark.”

You wouldn’t,” your eyes narrow.

“Public intoxication and defacement of property; though I would probably use the words ‘drunk and peed in public’.”

“I’m going to kill you,” you laugh, charging at him.

You’ll have to catch me first.”

A/N: make sure you check out my new (shadowhunters) alec imagine here and new jace imagine here!

4

I can walk away from this fight if I just sign my name beneath a solemn oath never again to do violence against it. No. Not after all it has taken from me. Not after all it has taken from you. I will do great v i o l e n c e against that thing.

anonymous asked:

i feel you with the over analyzing jikook thing tbh, they can just breathe the same air and i'll be trippin' and cryin' because they're such husbands. ((i also love your blog!! and your header bc ughhehs. yeah.))

riGHT!!!!! LMaos in all honesty though they really do quite a fair share of boyfriend things… 

CAN WE JUST……,,,, jjk’s lil smile …. and thank u hehehe im glad someone likes this trash zone. and !!! credits to my friend for drawing my header c;

anonymous asked:

I don't know if this will help, but occasionally for me, writing something quite different from what I normally do can really get my literary juices flowing. Even if it's just a new ship or a wierd AU, it gets me thinking outside the box. As I said, I don't know if it will help you, but it helps me. Just worried about one of my fav fic authors is all. :)

hfjkdshfkja first of all you can’t just drop some shit like “one of my fav fic authors” all casual and shit like that, I’m finna COMBUST (I’ve settled for cryin a lil bit THANK YOU jeez)

but I think this is a pretty good idea, actually!! Writing new shit can be super fuckin scary, and I think I’ve played it pretty safe so far (well… safe for me lmao), ESP ships bc I don’t like to do characters any kind of injustice, character-wise

Thanks for this, I’ll think on it and see what I can think up <3

9

“We can’t eat these chickens…”

“Are you talking about how little meat they have on them? Indeed… But what we CAN eat, is these chickens’ eggs! Wait, they might all be males! In which case…… Well, where there’s a will there’s a way! If it comes down to it, we gotta do what we gotta do! I understand that now! See how the school teaches us!? It just taught us that we only survive through the sacrifice of others!”

It looks like he had a really good time.

I’M CRYIN @ ISHIMARU

N,o more.., no more ffanmail please i;m begging you all my mailbox is filled to the brim it is breaking it is so full i can no longer get my bills in the mail, because, of the fanmail and my hand hurts from writing the responses to the fanmail i am  out of pens my ink pens have all ran out and i have no more and i am spending so much money on ink pens i dont know what to do i cant feed my wife and kids because im spending all my money on pens to reply to fan mail so no more i;m begging and im cryin,g you cant see it but i cant even afford mascara to run down my face because of all the money im spending on pens

i just really need for steve to say “buck, don’t do anything stupid til i get back” and bucky to reply with “how can i? you’re taking all the stupid with you”. i just. i need it? i need it. i need to see it with my own eyes. i need. the thing.

Originally posted by buckysjawline

Not to be problematic but awarding straight people for doing the bare minimum for the LGBTQA+ community is so annoying straight people can be like “yea gay people are aight” and y'all start cryin and calling them inspirations and shit as if they’re some revolutionary gay icon like I’m sick

it really makes me upset that people are actually threatening to leak froot because marina has clearly worked so hard on this and she deserves everything in the world.. like why can’t you just let her have this. this is the most passionate i have seen her when it comes to promoting her album and stuff and she seems so so proud of all of her work and it just makes me want to cry when i see things get leaked honestly what are you going to gain from doing that???

im cryin so hard tho befour has suc a heartfelt bittersweet undertone like he sounds so resigned to the situation like.. whatever im jus gonna focus on me now it reminds me of that “I’ll give but if there’s nothing left to give what can I do?” tweet and its like really fuccing me up that zayn ever had to fight at all anyway this is amazing and so gorgeous and i want to take every bit of pain away from him hes a living inspiration i hope he knows that 

I’ve spent the majority of my day sitting about and thinking. That’s all. Just thinking. It’s real strange how that can happen. I started off thinking about normal stuff like to do lists and birthday presents, but then I got so deep in it. Started thinking about everything and anything. When I got up to thinking about, like, the universe and the stars and aliens, I was like woah chill. Can’t really have those conversations by yourself so much.