Hey Drew, do you think you could go into detail and explain your feelings on the recent Harry Potter debacles (The Cursed Child and also what Pottermore has become)? Your opinions usually mirror mine but I'm having a hard time putting it all together. Cheers! Hope you're doing alright (I think you live in Florida?) watch out for that nasty, nasty weather.
Hey there! Let me see here. I’ll try to express my feelings, I’ll be eager to hear from you to see if you agree!
So basically the current expansion of J. K. Rowling’s wizarding world breaks down into three categories: Pottermore, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, and the Fantastic Beasts series. I’ll take them one at a time.
Pottermore started out as this amazing addition to the Potter fandom. We were all so excited to be officially Sorted into our houses, learn what kind of wands we might receive, and delve deeper into the world of Harry Potter. Pottermore was excellent at the start when we were learning more about Jo’s writing process and fun facts. Why were Hufflepuff’s colors yellow and black, for example. Even the character biographies we got at the start were thoughtful and creative and felt like an extension of the universe that was already there. Pottermore has deteriorated as we’ve moved further and further away from what Jo already had written down and we’ve gone deeper and deeper into material invented for Pottermore. Ilvermorny is obviously the biggest example here. The American copy-and-paste version of Hogwarts is so clearly an afterthought developed for a quick name-drop in the Fantastic Beasts movie. It truly makes no sense as an actual American school for reasons that plenty of people smarter than me have expanded on – the trivialization of Native American culture, the absurdity that one school would suffice for the entire United States, the dismissal of the canonically established Salem Institute. The inclusion of “houses” is particularly frustrating for me. I’m sure we have private schools in the States that have houses but in general it’s an extremely British concept that doesn’t translate here. More importantly, the Hogwarts house system is so incredible. The house mascots and colors, the association with the four elements, and the values prescribed to each category all come together in a truly beautiful way. Our generation in particular has come to adopt the Hogwarts houses as core elements to our personality. It’s our way of discussing our values – the morality of ambition, the importance of loyalty, the discussion of mind versus heart or knowledge versus instinct. The Ilvermorny houses belittle the brilliance of the Hogwarts houses and it honestly infuriates me.
As a tangent to this, I think Jo also insults her own system by continuing to sort the “good guys” into Gryffindor and the “bad guys” into Slytherin. Celestina Warbeck would have been a great good-Slytherin but Jo says she’s a Gryffindor. Dolores Umbridge would have been a fascinating bad-Hufflepuff but Jo says she’s a Slytherin. Remember that meta about how Hagrid’s house is never identified in the books and how it makes way more sense for him to be a Slytherin than a Gryffindor? The houses have so much depth to them, Jo even talks about how Hufflepuff is her favorite house, but she treats them in such a superficial way.
My frustration with the Fantastic Beasts series is not dissimilar to my frustration with Pottermore. Mostly my feeling with Fantastic Beasts so far is a lot like my feelings for Pandora – The World of Avatar at Disney’s Animal Kingdom: it’s beautiful, it’s amazing, but who cares? I don’t care about Newt Scamander and I don’t care about Gellert Grindelwald, especially if we’re going to continue to avoid Albus Dumbledore’s sexuality in telling this story. I wouldn’t mind all of this extra history if I had the history I want. I want Marauders! I want Founders! We know more about the founding of Ilvermorny than the founding of the school we actually care about! If we already had the stories that we’re all deeply fascinated by, I think we’d be more invested in these additional stories. Instead, the Fantastic Beasts series feels like a distraction so that Jo doesn’t have to tell the Marauders and Founders stories. Plus, including the abuser Johnny Depp in the cast is disgusting and infuriating.
Now we come to the ultimate insult to the Potter fandom: Cursed Child. I almost don’t know where to begin with this one. It is unfathomable to me that Jo, who cares so much about her characters, signed off on this and said it can be considered canon. There is just so much wrong here. The characterization of our existing characters, particular the Golden Trio, is so off. Hermione is a shadow of her former self; Ron seems to be based on the film interpretation rather than the book; and while portraying Harry as a misguided father is certainly an interesting choice and could be argued as a plausibility given the fact that he grew up without James and with Vernon, it is certainly the sadder choice, especially considering the wonderful father figures he’s had in Lupin, Sirius, Hagrid, Arthur, and even Dumbledore. It seems like this character choice is only there to serve up drama with Albus.
Next up, perhaps the most absurd piece of the Cursed Child puzzle, is Delphini Diggory. She might as well be named Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way. Delphi is the worst part of the entire Harry Potter universe. Her very existence makes no sense - not only would Voldemort have absolutely no need or want for a child and no need or want to have sex with Bellatrix, it also doesn’t fit into the timeline as far as I know. On top of that, she is so illogical as a character, underdeveloped in every way and uncompelling as a villain.
The story itself is aggravating because it seems to be entirely manufactured as fan service while simultaneously letting the fans down. The time turner storyline is clearly all about allowing the play to show us scenes and characters from the original books, yet the scenes we go to are the Triwizard challenges where very little actually happens to advance the Potter story. It’s such an odd choice. And so much centers around the Diggory family, who we hardly know anything about and it’s not like we really learn any new information about them except that apparently if Cedric hadn’t died he would have become a Death Eater, which is so absolutely ridiculous. They clearly just wanted to show us some of the old characters and that’s where this story came from. Even in the present story we see how fan service affected the writing - Jo has said the McGonagall wouldn’t be headmistress by the time Albus got there, and yet here she is. I haven’t even touched on the concept of returning to the night James and Lily died and forcing Harry to watch this trauma or the various stupidities of the alternate timelines like Ron and Hermione’s loveless fates if they aren’t married to one another.
Also, I have to mention that Jo establishes some very clear laws of magic that this story just decides do not apply. If we all just believe hard enough, we can make Harry look like Voldemort! I know there were other cases of this, but it’s been a while since I’ve read the play so I can’t quite remember them off the top of my head. I could say though that this is probably the aspect that makes the whole thing feel so much like fanfiction (along with Delphi). The Potter world has rules and Jo sticks to them very carefully. The play’s disregard for these rules is sloppy.
The final issue I have to discuss regarding Cursed Child is, obviously, the relationship between Scorpius and Albus. It’s been discussed to death, I know, but any criticism of the play is incomplete without mentioning it. These two boys are great characters on their own. Albus living in his father’s shadow is compelling. Scorpius in particular is a wonderful character. I also have to applaud the choice to sort these two protagonists into Slytherin, finally breaking the mold I talked about earlier. But the queer baiting in this play is blatant and painful. Honestly, it wouldn’t be so bad if we hadn’t forced Scorpius into asking out Rose at the end of the play. I get it, fourteen-year-olds don’t always understand their sexuality, and maybe you could even say attaching Rose to Scorpius is part of that, but the play certainly doesn’t imply it that way at all. It’s particularly hurtful because Jo is amazingly progressive in her politics and actively talks about LGBT rights, feminism, Black Lives Matter, and so on, but she does not demonstrate all of these powerful values in her books, especially when it comes to LGBT characters. The only character she has identified as anything other than straight is Dumbledore, and even that is never mentioned in the literature, and if you know it’s there it’s still only implied as a tragic barely-there subplot. The wizarding world struggles with diversity across the board. Jo’s made steps. Casting black actresses as Hermione and Rose is absolutely incredible. We’re starting to see characters of color appear in the Fantastic Beasts series, although way too slowly in my opinion. But despite all of her politics, Jo is dragging her feet when it comes to LGBT representation, and denying us even an implied future relationship between Albus and Scorpius is just… frustrating. I could go on and on about the details of their relationship throughout the play and how the writing clearly indicates feelings between them, but others who know the text more thoroughly have already been there and done that.
Basically it all boils down to this: Jo is giving us an overload of information that we either don’t want or don’t care about and denying us the stuff that we do. Maybe she should have quit while she was ahead. Goodness knows the Potter fans have enough creativity to fill in their own blanks. I can only hope that as Pottermore and the Fantastic Beasts series continue to grow, maybe she can do better.
So, as promised, here’s my list of lesbian movies for all of our lovely followers and the people you want to share it with. I hope I haven’t forgotten any good ones, but if you feel like that is the case, feel free to add movies to the list!
This is my gift for all of you, I hope you’ll like it ♥
/ Mod W
Tipping the Velvet
based on the book by sarah waters (she has written many lesbian books!)
it’s a bbc adapatation
technically a mini series but i like to see it as three hours of lesbian content heaven
it’s about this girl who falls in love with an actress and she goes to see her at the theatre five billion times until the actress notices her (that’s just the first part, other things happen to the main so watch the rest for more lesbian content~)
the main character (nan astley/king) is like… my fave. i love her.
the book is very good too!!!
honestly i have so much love for this movie/book i get all giddy just thinking of it
lesbian gangster/mob movie do i need to say more???
the main actresses are cute af (one of them is a butch lesbian!)
it’s awesome and very cool
(gonna trigger warn for use of lesbophobic slurs used by some characters/some lesbophobic violence)
Below Her Mouth
meh plot with amazing sex scenes basically?
a lot of sex scenes
i mean it like half the movie is graphic sex so if ur uncomfortable with that you probably shouldn’t watch it lol
all female cast
willa from wynonna earp!
also based on a book by sarah waters (called Fingersmith, there’s a bbc adaptation of it too which you should totally check out as well)
good quality movie right there
(putting a trigger warning here for sexual and psychological abuse and abuse in general)
one of few good swedish movies
basically about two step-sisters who fall in love (they’re not actually related i promise)
But I’m a Cheerleader
baby natasha lyonne is in this one! also i have a crush on clea duvall in this movie lol
a very cute love story tbh
you’ve probably heard of it before but idc cause it’s great
(it’s like a satire of conversion therapy so if that’s something you can’t watch i don’t recommend this movie for you in particular)
If These Walls Could Talk 2
a bunch of famous actresses (like chloë sevigny, michelle williams, natasha lyonne, ellen degeneres, etc. etc.)
divided in three segments from three different periods in time
one segment is set during the feminist movement in the 70s and features chloë sevigny as a butch lesbian with a motorcycle do i even need to say more??
Anatomy of a Love Seen
this is about two actresses who were a couple when they shot a movie together and now they have to go back and re-shoot some love scenes but they’re not a couple anymore and it’s sad af
i have basically never seen this movie in any rec lists but it’s actually one of my faves and i cry so much to this movie tbh
this is a good one
also pretty funny tbh!
it’s about a doctor who falls in love with a dancer and the doctor’s relationship with her conservative mom
it’s kind of rom-comish
Lost and Delirious
warning: very sad like super sad?
it’s about a girl who goes to a boarding school and so happens to become roommates with a lesbian couple
teen angst squared and multiplied with gay panic
The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls In Love
you may have heard of this one but if you haven’t it’s time you watch it
that woman who plays tina on the l word is a butch-ish girl in this one
VERY CUTE and chill
every time i watch this it feels like this movie is the director’s BABY like it seems like she cares about this story so much and it makes the movie feel so genuine and lovely
i want every baby lesbian to watch this, please, it’s my gift to you.
you may have heard of this one too but if you haven’t seen it yet it’s definitely worth a watch!
the heroine falls in love with the villain (that enemies to lovers trope tho!!)
old but good!
i feel like this movie is on most of these long rec lists but people probably don’t watch it cause it’s old but it is actually pretty good!
your classic “oops i thought i was straight but that woman is hot” story
Margarita With a Straw
indian girl figures out she’s bi when she goes to uni in new york and meets a lesbian girl
cute, funny, sad, it has everything tbh
The Hours (actually one of my all-time favorite movies/books!)
Went and saw Beauty and the Beast, and I just had to share my experience because it was so pure?
So, like, I get into the theater, find myself a nice spot smack dab midscreen, which is WAY EASIER without thirty people traipsing in behind you in a group, lemme tell you, and I’m just sitting there, by my lonesome, scrolling tumblr and watching whatever weird stuff they’ve got on screen, and a family comes to sit in my row, which was the only empty one not right in front of the screen. Sat down what I thought was a seat away from me until I saw a little girl in an adorable ass red dress climbing over mom and dad to sit next to me.
Totally fine. I was just off of center and they got to sit right in the middle of the screen, and when she finally gets settled this little girl looks up at me, with a soda half her size in one hand, and somehow both popcorn and candy in her tiny little lap, and she stage whispers to her mom:
“She’s by herself!”
Mom looks embarrassed, but I smile and wave off the apology.
I go back to my phone, only to realize someone is tugging at my sleeve. Little girl looks up at me, all wide eyes and curiosity, and holds out a napkin filled with popcorn and chocolate. Like, I remember being a kid, and I remember how important candy and popcorn at the theater are, and I think she thought she was saving my life by offering this sustenance.
I almost fucking cried guys, kids are the best.
So I take it and thank her and let her talk my ear off for a few minutes until she needs a drink because she has been talking SO MUCH her mouth is dry. This kid is going places, guys, I’m telling you right now, because she picked up that cup the size of her torso like a champ and angled the straw just right and continued to try to talk to me around her gulps.
While this is happening, on the other side of me another mom and daughter sat down, and, turns out, the girls know each other. I’m guessing, based on the gumption of Red Dress, that they probably met in the lobby before they went into the theater.
Girl number 2, I’ll call her Princess Dress, because it was a fantastic dress and when I told her so she proceeded to point to every princess along the neck and name them and give me their Stats, proceeds to have a conversation across me with Red Dress.
Both sets of parents were looking like they wanted to bury their heads in their hands, but I was having a blast.
Anyway, eventually lights go down, we get into the movie, and for the most part Red and Princess were content, although every so often Red made sure to pass me a handful of sticky half-melted chocolate.
Watching a live action version of a movie that I watched for the first time when I was their age was a fuckin’ trip, man. Like. I got super emotional over things I didn’t expect to, and during the wolf scenes I was actually mildly distressed, because Princess was gripping the hand rest so hard on my right I thought she was gonna break it. Any scene I laughed or snorted at got a peal of laughter from my two new best friends, so hopefully no one has to go home and explain why I nearly snorted out my drink during “Be Our Guest” when they went for a visual gag for “After all miss, this is France!”.
During the ballroom scene, Red turned to her mom and whispered “The Beast is handsome!” and it took so much for me not to lean over and whisper back “Girl same.”
But my favorite, MY VERY FAVORITE part of this whole experience was when Gaston shot the Beast - FOR THE THIRD TIME HOLY HELL I KNEW IT WAS DARK BUT GODDAMN THIS IS A KIDS MOVIE ISN’T IT - Red patted my arm because yeah, okay, I was maybe crying a little, look, I know what happens but the movie made me feel things okay. Anyway, she like, pushes herself up in her seat and leans in close and she goes “It’s okay. He’s gonna be okay.”
The point is, children are so pure, and everyone should always watch movies with strangers.
So… there’s something about this entire scene that’s had me pondering it all morning. Now, despite my writing tendencies or even which characters I would like to see together, most people who know me understand that while I write and post certain things, how I actually view the canon is separate. Like, I don’t watch Voltron for shipping and what characters do and don’t end up together is not why I’m into it. I’m very realistic about potential ships and do my best not to let shipping goggles cloud my judgement. After all, I may like to create, but I also analyze. And anyone worth their socks in literary/media analysis knows that it’s about looking at what you’re given and not what you want to see (what we want to see gets into headcanon/prediction territory, which can be backed by analysis, but they aren’t the same thing). In other words, me fangirling about a ship and me looking critically at a piece of media are two very separate things.
Therefore, this scene has left me in rather a… curious sort of hesitance? Because I find it hard to believe that I’m coming to the conclusions that I am?
First and foremost, I’m glad that Lance and Keith are working together better and trusting one another enough to go to the other about their problems. I don’t care who you ship with who, it’s good character development for them when we look back at where they started and does nothing but help the team. Keith admitted his faults to Lance when he pushed the team too hard and Lance went to Keith when he was insecure. These are not small steps for these boys and I’m glad they’re finally becoming better friends. And that’s honestly all I thought I was going to take away from this season, if I even got that far.
Until I saw this part of this scene specifically (I’ma use this screenshot a lot, lol) -
- First of all, I want to look at how these frames with Keith are laid out. Keith is in the center of the frame the whole time, his posture is open, his expression is friendly, his smile is sincere. He is lacking in weapons or anything typically considered threatening. But what is probably most important is that we’re not just seeing Keith from Lance’s point of view, we’re seeing him through Lance’s eyes.
There is a difference. For example, in these scenes -
- we’re seeing Allura from Lance’s POV, but not through his own eyes. This is a very common type of shot when two people are having a conversation or even when multiple people are in the room. It’s like getting a third person description of what’s happening with weight on a certain character’s perspective. Sometimes it’s not even that far and it’s just convenient to look over this character’s shoulder. Versus when we get a more first person perspective when we see a character through another character’s eyes.
We also get shots like this in this same scene -
- This shot comes in concurrence with the one previously and can still be considered as coming from Lance’s perspective. So what’s the difference between this shot and the one of Keith? This shot is up close–it’s focused on Allura’s expression and what she’s saying. She’s also not completely centered, but balanced in the frame for the viewer, not Lance’s perspective. Lance is listening to her, not admiring her in any way, shape, or form. In fact, despite Lance’s general attempts at constantly flirting with Allura, he is not looking at her at all in this scene as a potential romantic interest. This entire scene is focused on what they’re saying and what that means. Not any kind of attraction between them.
Which is what struck me as so odd about the way we see Keith through Lance’s eyes in episode 6. When a character is being admired by another character, getting a shot through their eyes of their subject from the waist up, or thighs up, or knees up, etc, is a very common way of displaying that admiration in a visual sense. It’s already clear from this scene that Lance views Keith as the new leader -
- So even if Lance takes issue with some of the things Keith does, he–at the very least–begrudgingly accepts Keith’s position and is doing everything in his power to support him (as most of season 3 is evidence of). Which is why these frames -
- took me so far aback. Honestly, I was much more expecting this kind of scene to be displayed from Lance’s eyes when his and Allura’s development took place. I even went back during their critical conversation to look for it. But there isn’t anything similar. Lance clearly respects Allura, but he didn’t “waver” in looking at her so as to imply a different kind of admiration.
Another character that gets this treatment a lot? Shiro. Shiro is their leader. Shiro is their security. Shiro is oftentimes framed in this manner when the other paladins are listening to him. But usually it’s a group shot, and even if there are scenes with him and one other (maybe with Keith? I’m not going back to watch the whole series), his body language and expression are not so soft. There could probably be some shots of Shiro looking less severe when he speaks to Keith, but I never remember being this struck by a scene with Shiro that didn’t feel like anything more that admiration because he’s their leader and/or idol and/or older brother figure (this goes for Pidge as much as Keith). Just as I’ve never seen anything to blatantly support Klance before. Like, I’m not playing favorites here.
The point I’m trying to make is that, in seeing Keith through Lance’s eyes in this scene, we’re gleaning a LOT about how Lance views Keith. Not only is he listening to Keith, but we’re seeing Keith as more than just a face with words. It would have been easy to frame this scene like this -
- I mean, even this is still… But the point is, there were a lot of ways to frame this that didn’t have Lance giving Keith that “admiring” look that is oftentimes used in movies and animation. At this point, Keith is the center of Lance’s entire focus. The rest of the room is bare, Keith is what stands out most. But it’s not just his words or what he’s saying, it’s his entire person. It’s his body, his words, his posture, where he’s standing in the room.
And then we get to his expression. This is so important. They could have given Keith more attitude, they could have had him lean back on one leg and cross his arms. They could have done LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE to suggest that Lance was merely admiring Keith as a leader and friend, but they didn’t. They kept his posture open. They kept him still and centered in the frame. And they gave him the softest mother fucking smile that Keith has probably displayed in the entire goddamn show. And I don’t mean to say that he hasn’t given those small, soft smiles, because he has, but this one has teeth and is still soft. EVERYTHING about this frame is soft.
And this is HOW LANCE is seeing Keith. We have the distance from where Lance is standing in the doorway to Keith to support this, as well as how he looks following, which implies that we were seeing Keith through him -
- He’s looking over his shoulder, continuing the line of sight we the viewers were just privy to. And he reflects the same softness he has just seen in Keith.
For fucks sake, all we need is an edit of that frame of Keith with a soft white background and some sparkles and we’re all fucking set! This frame -
- was coded to be romantic. This is Lance not only admiring Keith, but seeing him in a “different” light. I mean, look at Keith’s hair for crying- UGH! Just add some wind and a few flower petals and- just- HOLY FUCK, LANCE! OGLE HIM SOME MORE WHY DON’T YOU! I don’t know if Keith is really this beautiful or not BUT YOU’RE DOING A GOOD JOB OF MAKING IT SEEM LIKE HE’S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATURE YOU’VE EVER SEEN, LANCE!
Seriously, this is probably one of the most sincerely romantic frames we’ve gotten in the entire series. It’s also quite bittersweet. And, like, even if Lance isn’t aware that he’s looking at Keith like this, we are! We’re literally watching Lance form feelings for Keith through his own goddamn eyes. Ugh, gag me.
okay, so if i were to write the academy award-winning and world peace-establishing screenplay where Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson and Vin Diesel slowly fall in love, this is what it would look like:
vin and dwayne would be bitter Rival Agents for an intelligence agency. both would be up for a Big Promotion. they would both be working together (but against each other) on something something black market mafia. the mafia would be involved. they would be VERY CLOSE to cracking this case.
whoever cracks the case gets the promotion! because things like this are always very clear-cut in movies. and whoever gets the promotion is the Better Agent, and it’s settled forever.
what they don’t expect is when they finally go in to make the Big Bust on The Family is that the Big Players will still be at large–and there will be a BABY.
the baby will fall into agency custody, and will require surveillance in a remote safehouse.
“i need YOU TWO to pretend and be this baby’s GAY DADS to protect the baby and keep The Family off our tail while we close in on them,” says Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o.
dwayne and vin and baby are begrudgingly moved to a suburb of provincetown, massachusetts. cut to shot of a FOR SALE sign being pulled down, a ford fusion hybrid pulling up behind a moving van. dwayne and vin step out. they are both wearing muscle shirts and mirror-lensed aviators. dwayne grabs a baby bag, throws it over his shoulder. vin grabs the car seat out of the back, and both of them walk-slow motion up the side walk to their new 800k beach house.
here’s what they expect: passive aggressive co-existence for a couple of weeks, where they try to be the Better Dad in a bid for the promotion they both want. dwayne will go jogging with the baby every morning!! vin will wear her in a sling when he goes to the farmer’s market and smiles at the vendors while feeling up avocados and selecting fresh caught filets of fish!!
here’s what they don’t expect: their next door neighbors are going to be Channing Tatum and Idris Elba and their five beautiful, interracial babies. they are the perfect Gay Family, but “also,” dwayne says, pushing vin inside from where he’s been grilling steaks and drinking MILLER out of a CAN in broad daylight for the Real Gay Family to see and call over from their patio!!! “these guys are the REAL DEAL. they’re gonna know something’s up! i know we’ve had our beef, but we gotta step our game up and work together if we’re gonna make this operation work.”
“you’re right,” vin says. he’s nodding, looking at a ground, but then up and meeting dwayne’s gaze. “you’re RIGHT.” they’re gonna make this partnership work!!! they are going to be the BEST GAY DADS.
CUT TO: vin and dwayne staring at the king sized mattress in the master bedroom. “i can just–” vin says, but dwayne grabs him by the shoulder and shakes it playfully. “no man,” he says. “it’s all in or nothing.”
CUT TO: them jogging together with baby playfully squealing from her stroller early in the morning.
CUT TO: vin playfully feeding dwayne grapes at the farmer’s market. “it’s all or nothing,” he repeats, raising his eyebrows (???? eyebrow folds? idk man). dwayne rolls his eyes and TAKES THE BITE.
CUT TO: channing tatum in monogrammed shorts and pink polo and boat shoes on their front door step with one of his many perfect, precious toddlers on his shoulders, asking them to dinner. “uh yeah,” dwayne says, cool as a cucumber. he’s not freaking out (he’s totally freaking out!!). “we’ll bring the wine.”
“we’ll bring the wine?” vin repeats, in a hushed voice so the neighbors and baby don’t hear them fighting. “do you know anything about wine? they probably have a second house in france! i haven’t had anything that didn’t come from a box since–since ever! what were you thinking?” “i panicked! it seemed like the right thing to say!”
TIRES SCREECH as the ford focus hybrid drifts into the whole foods parking lot.
they show up out of breath, foreheads glistening, with baby in her favorite babybjorn, feet kicking from the day’s excitement of wine shopping. vin, wheezing, passes a bottle of red and a bottle of white.
“oh, a chateau coutet barsac,” idris says with a chuckle, showing the label to channing. “remember that time–?” and oh my GOD, they have inside jokes!!
(”we don’t have any inside jokes!!” dwayne whispers when they immediately excuse themselves halfway through a tour of the house. “that’s because you are the least funny person i know!” vin replies. “god, i hate you!!!” they both probably hiss at each other.)
the worst and best part of the night is when they’re serving the roast veg salad, and channing says with the best intentions, “so, how did you two meet?”
“uh,” vin says.
“the gym,” dwayne says. which, actually turns out to be true. they look at each other, smile soft and genuine for once at each other, REMEMBERING. before they were BITTER RIVALS, they met at the academy gym and were GYM BUDDIES. they used to have FUN trying to beat each other’s PR on the treadmill, they used to LOVE shit talking each other when they spotted each other bench pressing, they used to snap towels at each other’s asses in the locker room and totally not check each other out or anything!!! and then they were both accepted to the same position at work and they stopped being friendly for whatever reason. they stop smiling, they look away from each other. “anyway.”
“we met building houses for habitat for humanity,” idris offers, because of COURSE THEY DID.
the second worst part of the night is when channing mentions during the dessert course that two weeks from now is the annual May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, and maybe dwayne and vin would like to host to get to know everyone else in the neighborhood!
vin has had like, three more glasses of wine than everyone else, and with aid of liquid confidence, shrugs his shoulders and leans back in his chair and says, “yeah, man, we’d love to.”
“’yeah, man, we’d love to?’” dwayne repeats when they’re walking home, baby asleep in her bjorn.
“sorry, did you want me to give ourselves away? what happened to being the best? we’re trying to be believable!”
“yeah,” dwayne says, watching vin strip off his shirt and pants and toss them over his shoulder into their spare hamper before crawling into their bed. it’s routine. they both have their sides of the bed. “believable.”
the bedroom is quiet as they face away from each other at the edges of the mattress. eventually dwayne asks, “do you remember why we stopped being friends?”
for a second he thinks maybe vin’s gone to sleep. but he turns over. “no,” he says. “or yeah, maybe. as soon as i realized we would both be seeing action, it became too much of a risk. friendship. it was easier to lose you as a friend on my terms than lose you as a friend because you got your dumbass killed.”
they decide to be friends again. you know, for the baby. for work. whatever.
they get so caught up in planning the May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, making inside jokes and ignoring the increasing casual physical intimacy between them that they don’t realize they are BEING WATCHED.
the mafia is HERE and they want their BABY and they want dwayne and vin DEAD.
the M.D.H.N.B.P.C.C happens and everything is going according to plan, and they are about to have dwayne judge the bisque portion of the competition, but no one has seen dwayne anywhere!!!!
are there warehouses in provincetown??? is there a bad part of provincetown??? anyways, that’s probably where the mafia took dwayne. vin is FREAKING OUT, how does he save dwayne??? how does he protect the baby, who they are using dwayne as ransom for??? who will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookoff???
idris puts a hand on his shoulder. he’s been watching the entire time. “i’ll take the baby into our panic room–” OF COURSE THEY HAVE A PANIC ROOM, “and channing will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookofff. you go save your man.”
CUT TO: vin getting geared up to go out and kick some mafia ass, entering their walk-in closet and grabbing GUNS and a BULLET PROOF VEST and lacing up his L.L BEAN MEN’S GORETEX LEATHER BOOTS.
vin takes out the entire warehouse-or-whatever of mafia lackeys and comes across dwayne tied up and blindfolded.
“who’s there!” dwayne demands, like he’s ready to fight despite himself. vin takes three strong steps forward and grabs him by the back of the head and pulls him in for a kiss. “guess who,” he replies. dwayne smiles.
just then the Final Boss shows up as dwayne is being untied and like, something dramatic happens or whatever, but it’s okay. they die or go to jail or something, it doesn’t really matter, because dwayne and vin are in LOVE and they’re gonna adopt the hell out of that baby.
CUT TO: a month later. Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o is disappointed when vin won’t accept his promotion.
“i would,” he says, heavily decorated for saving dwayne in the field and taking down the mafia family. “but the code of conduct says that it would be a conflict of interest if i was my husband’s supervisor.” BAM! THE END. THEY’RE MARRIED. WORLD PEACE UNLOCKED. DONALD TRUMP IMPEACHED. EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
pristinepastel said: Hey, i know you like the first mummy, but what about the mummy returns?
I HAVE RETURNED…after like a day.
but what the people want, the people get!
RIGHT SO THE MUMMY RETURNS!
aka the only sequel that is 1000% just as good as the first one. like holy shit.
ten years later and we meet our heroes again. rick and evie are happily married, going on adventures, and evie’s dream of becoming a respected scholar has come true and they’ve made a tiny human!
the only unrealistic part being that they only had one kid, i mean they are still all over each other ten years later and you’re telling me they only had ONE kid.
okay. sure jan.
but boy o’ boy is that one kid awesome!
alex o’connell. this kid is literally:
50% evie super-klutz-genius.
50% rick screams-at-things-that-are-illogical-to-scream-at.
50% uncle jonathan’s sheer dumb luck and wit.
10% i’m really bad at math.
you get the point. HE’S GREAT. also the actor passed on harry potter because, JUST LIKE ME, the mummy 1999 was his favorite movie and he just HAD to be in the sequel. alex is just such a smart-ass little shit. that much like his mother, accidentally brings about the apocalypse by opening something he shouldn’t have:
ARDETH BAY TIME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. he has a much bigger role in this one. GOD BLESS.(because he was supposed to die in the first one, but test audiences loved him as much as we do, so they kept his fine ass around) he still looks prettier than everyone and is still so done with white people once again.
*after almost being killed on he bus* “this was my first bus ride.” *after realizing they’re gonna make him fly again* “why can’t you people ever keep your feet on the ground?”
he’s just such an awesome A+ friend goals, because while he probably needs to go be with other medjai to prepare for battle against anubis’ army (yikes), he stays with the fam to rescue alex. it wasn’t even much of a thought for him really, rick and evie just batted their eyelashes and he was like: *sighs* “these white people are always messing my shit up, but they are my white people.”
jonathan: still beautifully the same as ever. witty, clever, and would do anything for his family.
“be quiet alex! if there’s going to be any hysterics, they’ll come from me!”
“if you see anyone come running out screaming, it’s just me.”
when he boasts about being a good shot and ardeth is internally like “i’m gonna die.” THEN HE SAVES ARDETH. hell yeah.
rick: he’s still screaming at things. BUT IN DAD MODE. he’s the ultimate dad.
“you, lighten up. you, big trouble. you, get in the car.” *sweetly* “honey, what are you doing, these guys don’t use doors.” “knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you’re about to do to him, but this is my house and i have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment.”
evie: still a super-klutz nerd, but with C O N F I D E N C E. little baby librarian is now a honey badger of ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK! and also a re-incarnated princess
“no harm ever came from opening a chest.”
rick: “i swear that kid gets more and more like you every day.” evelyn: “you mean more attractive, sweet and devilishly charming?”
we meet izzy, another one of rick’s ex boyfriends, who is a much more reliable mode of transportation than previously mentioned murder buses.
imhotep: still emo. still wants to make out with his gf.
anck su namun/meela: hella good villain. she bomb af and 100% wants to take over the world. amazing. she actually has like a really cool role this time too!!! like so much screen time.
the rock…i mean the scorpion king, he’s another emo villain with goofy cgi rendering and like 4 million terrible made-for-TV spin off movies that you are lying if you haven’t watched at least one of them and felt that utter disappointment. but who cares the rock is pretty. and this was his first acting role and the reason we have him where he is today.
thank you mummy returns for giving the world actor rock johnson #blessed
THE ROMANCE AGAIN:
normal action movie sequel romance: same guy. different girl. repeat of first movie’s romance. hehehehhehehehhEHEHEHEHHEHH.
not here bitch.
rick and evie’s love has only grown stronger. they still bicker like old ladies at bingo night. the still look at each other like they hung the moon. they’re still disgusting jonathan because they CANNOT KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELVES. one kid my ass. they still support each other and protect each other like crazy. they love each other so much and it’s so healthy and pure and there is some good in this world mr. frodo.
the bottom line here is. what’s the point of watching the mummy 1999 if you aren’t going to watch the mummy returns immediately after?
so stubborn is incredible. A hot head. She knows what she wants and she'll get it. Yells a lot. Cares a lot about her family. Very concerned about her diet. She looks like a cinnamon roll but is a beast inside.
Aries male :
very intelligent, probably the most intelligent. Can either have a very scientific mind or a very literary mind. Loves to read. LOVES to make puns. Horrible ones. Has the biggest laugh.
MY BIGGEST LOVE. Literally the cutest thing. She is so smart and caring and it's true: she loves to eat. Cares so much about everyone, not only her close friends. She almost never get angry but when she does. Ouch.
a cutie. Always ready to cheer you up. DOES NOT. BELIEVE. IN. ASTROLOGY. Likes scientific shit. Loves old movies. Always laughs at your jokes. The best friend you can find. Loves Shrek.
so strong and independent. Her hair is always on point, so is her outfit. Either very tall or very short. They talk a lot and they love listening to you. Geminis are actually very lovable people. Best companion for a boring class or for lunch break.
very bold and confident about himself. Does his own thing. It's not that he is a dick, it's just that he has his own problems to take care of. Except Trump, Trumps is really a dick. Im sorry Geminis that he is in your sign. The cool guy of the class who has a different girl every week. A lil fuckboy but fun to have a chat with. Loves videogames and perfect pal to get drunk with.
not a crybaby. Actually HATES to cry in public. More often than you think, very extroverted. Very passionate about what she loves. High ambitions, starts many things and then get bored. So many puns oh god.
oh boy. "Nightmare dressed as a daydream". Makes you feel so special. Boyfriend material. Usually dark hair and dark eyes. Not very tall. Adorable. Special laugh. Will do great things in life. Very creative but kinda introvert(?) WILL RATHER DIE THAN CRY IN PUBLIC.
very close about her private things but she will open up if you demonstrate her she can trust you. Loves everyone. Not that confident about herself. Very confident about the world, tho. Wants to move someplace else and experience. People respect her.
Stonehead™. Literally smokes all the time to forget about the pain he feels. Hides emotions and then explodes, usually with rage. Either very close to you that he calls you every day, or he'll completely ignore you. Smart even tho it doesn't look like. The lonely wolf.
so stubborn and independent. She knows what she wants and she'll get it. Can get very clingy to the people she loves but sometimes neglect other people she loves even tho she doesn't notice. Get mad easily for the little things. The queen. Just listen to her, she knows the shit.
cute but doesn't have his own personality. Sometimes gets involved in ugly companies and does things he doesn't want to. Very sensitive but tries to hide it. Actually cares about you even tho he wants to appear a tough boy. Pretends he doesn't care about school, ends up with all A. Probably very good at soccer.
becomes part of your family if she isn't already. Amazing lipsticks. Always has great stories to tell. Lives in the clouds. Forgets about things easily but won't forget the important things. Has so many passions but get easily distracted when she is studying for an exam. Perfect person to binge watch Sherlock with.
my everything. Pretends he's a gryffindor but deep down is a slytherin. Stunning. Gets high grade without doing shit. The teacher favorite. The one you can do stupid shit with. Will do anything for you. Listens to you 24/7. Loves tv shows. Very smart. Will probably end up doing something very important. Perfect dad.
actually very sweet and caring, as much as cancer. Never shows off her emotions but you'll know when she cares about you. She's like a mama bear. She'll call you if she feels you are not happy. She'll call you constantly. Extroverted and kind. Best presents ever. Looks naive but very cautious.
ok so my ex fwb was a scorpio and i gotta say they get emotionally attached. Pretend they don't care AT ALL and then calls u at 2 in the morning telling u they love you. Just be careful cause they don't know what they want. Obsessed with electronic things and sex.
literally on fire. SHE. TALKS. SO. MUCH. I have so many different feelings about her. Either i love completely or I can't stand her. She pretends she knows everything. She's so slow at doing everything, except talking. Laughs a lot. Very sensitive deep down. So loud.
Pretty introverted. The fire is hidden. He's a freaking badass. If he cares about you, he will show you. Most likely to call you at midnight for your birthday. Very sweet. Goes big or goes home, especially in love. Both a cinnamon and a sinnamon roll. Like if he ain't in the same political party as you, just don't mention politics. That's when the fire shows.
so. she actually cares about you. but she has so much shit going on so she might forget to come at a place you invited her, she won't even apologize but when something happens to you, be sure she'll call. She's absolutely cute and she has been hurt so many times so it's hard for her to trust people completely.
THE FUCKING FANBOY. He loves to travel and to try new things. He is so shy but with his friends he's crazy. Laughs at his own jokes. Extremely sensitive and when he loves, he loves hard. So intelligent and interesting. Absolutely adorable.
the sweetest. she gets clingy to everyone but because she wants to have friends and do things and has a lot of problems but holds everything in and puts her friends first and she's hurt. The most precious human. She needs, she deserves to be loved the most. Learns very quickly and she's very honest.
the devil™. Actually he is funny, like so many jokes, but sometimes it's just too much. He hates when people offend him. Gets on the defensive. Kinda selfish and cares a lot about like 3 people (?). Like he will kill for them. So much drama, boy. Probably failed history and algebra 2 twice.
such a badass and a cutiepie at the same time i don't even know how this is possible. she has such a strong personality and loves her friends. Determined and will fight with her teeth for what she loves. You need to have a pisces in your life. She always says she will kill a person but then she just like run away.
like just like the pisces female. Cares so much about his family and shows his emotions easily, whether is anger or sadness or happiness. Determined but also insecure about himself, but will do great things.
Limits Bucky Barnes x Reader by @emilyevanston tags not working Reader and Bucky decide to play a foreplay game that they got as a gift…
Confident Bucky Barnes x Reader by @belleetlabeast Sam Wilson is an old friend who you reunite with when you become the new War Machine after Rhodey retires. Luckily, taking that position also means meeting Bucky… Ongoing Series
I’ll Be With You Bucky Barnes x Reader by @belleetlabeast Reader is a nurse who happens to be a nurse and the daughter of one of Bucky’s old flings. When they run into each other, literally, a relationship begins to bloom between the two of them. Completed Series
For Your Convenience Bucky Barnes x Reader by @brighterlights Reader works in a department store and a love triangle-esque relationship forms between her, Bucky, and Steve. Completed Series
Liberty Pirate!Bucky Barnes x Reader by @softwintersoldier Reader is the daughter of a governor and sneaks aboard Captain Barnes ship in search of adventure. Ongoing Series
Captain Steve Rogers x Reader by @callingmrsbarnes Reader kisses Steve while on a mission, almost blowing their cover, which leads to some smutty smut smut.
Ink Chris Evans x Reader by @fvckingbuchanan Chris has a kink for tattoos, which is a good thing because reader has two in some NFSW places…
Splash Steve Rogers x Reader by @atari-writes Some very smutty bathtub sex amiright or amiright?
Slow Burn Dean Winchester x Reader by @dancingalone21 A friend sets you up with Sam on a blind date, but things you guys just don’t hit it off. When Sam sets you up his brother, Dean, there is definitely a spark. And guys, Firefighter!Dean?! Completed Series
What Are The Odds Dean Winchester x Reader by @dancingalone21 Before the reader left for college, she had a one night stand with Dean. Eight years later, Dean learns that he has a daughter in an interesting way. Completed Series
Infatuated Steve Rogers x Reader by @theunholygrails When the reader turns to Steve after a break up, Steve finally takes a chance and expresses i=his feelings for the reader.
Stand Down Bucky Barnes x Reader by @timeforsmut “Reader has been going through a bad depression and tony still has her fight. However, she throws her life on the line when Bucky wakes up and he tries killing her, but part of him recognizes his old girlfriend”
Swab Yer Decks Pirate!Bucky Barnes x Reader by @caplanbuckybarnes “When Bucky finds a childhood friend, will he risk everything to protect her? Or will he risk her life for a lost treasure?”
You Are Not My Mother No Pairing (Supernatural) Sister!Reader by @percussiongirl2017 Reader doesn’t trust Mary when she comes back from the dead and finds her dealing with the British Men Of Letters behind Sam and Dean’s back. Completed Series
Delta Bucky Barnes x Reader by @papi-chulo-bucky ABO!Universe: “Reader is a rare being in the a/b/o cycle and finds herself along side the Avengers. She manages to hide her true nature successfully until she catches the eye of a certain blue eyed super soldier.” Completed Series
The Ultimatum Dean Winchester x Reader by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes Reader wants to leave the hunter live and have a family after Dean almost dies on a job, but Dean wants to continue hunting.
Fault Bucky Barnes x Reader by @bxckyfxcknbxrnes “Bucky had never been held responsible for what he’d done, but you, oh god, everything that had happened had been your fault, and Bucky knew it too.” Ongoing Series
Mess With Them Steve Rogers x Reader by @redgillan Steve and the reader have a secret relationship that they are keeping rom the rest of the team. Completed Series
The Maid Dean Winchester x Reader by @super-slick-fanfic-chick Sam and Dean hire you as a maid for the bunker and give you a less than conservative uniform to wear ;))))))
Evermore Bucky Barnes x Reader by @snowyseba *Based off of “Evermore” from Beauty and the Beast* Bucky spends days planning his proposal, but on the night he’s about to do it, something comes up that brings you away.
In This Light Bucky Barnes x Reader by @bovaria Reader and Bucky were friends when they were kids, but were separated when Bucky moved away. When they run into each other on the set of a photoshoot where reader is the photographer and Bucky is the model, things get interesting… Ongoing Series
Note: HI HI! YAY I ACTUALLY GOT TO WRITE A REQUEST! (take that, writers block!) phew, this one was…wow. I hope you like it! FEEDBACK IS WELCOME!!!! ♥♥♥ .c
Request: Age gap kink! Where reader is significantly younger than Bucky(still legal obviously) daddy kink, reader gets off on him being older maybe calling reader little girl, if you decide a fem reader, jokingly Idk idk, I love your writing thank you for blessing my eyes with it
Being the youngest Avenger was fun for the most part. You were like the team baby, though you weren’t that young. Everyone just treated you like a little kid, but you didn’t mind. You just hated when they would tease you all the time.
Out of everyone, Bucky was definitely your favorite on the team if you had to choose. You warmed up to him rather quickly and you fell for him overtime. You knew he was much older than you, even if you didn’t really count the years he was frozen and an active assassin for HYDRA. There was no chance you’d ever land someone his age, but that didn’t stop you from daydreaming about him.
Natasha smiled as she walked into the room, her white teeth on display. You were brought out of your thoughts by her voice, the tv show you had playing was now background noise. “Y/N! Do you want to go out for drinks with us?” She asked excitedly, Tony joining her just after she asked.
Before you could answer, Tony shook his head. “No. Definitely not.” He said, making you frown. “But, I-” You started only to be silenced as he held up his hand. “Not old enough.” Tony said firmly, his signature “dad” look on his face. Nat rolled her eyes at the man and crossed her arms.
“That’s not fair! I could at least just go for the music!” You exclaimed, trying to reason with Tony. “Go where for what music?” Steve asked as he walked in the room with Bucky by his side.
“Drinks.” Tony answered with a sigh. “I don’t see the issue with her just going to chill out, Tony.” Nat said as she tried to persuade Tony into letting you go.
“Well, it isn’t really a scene for the young ones, Y/N.” Steve said, siding with Tony. You gasped and creased your eyebrows together. “Seriously!? I’m not that young!“ You shouted, getting rather angry with everyone. “I can kill people, but I can’t go to a club?” You snapped, looking at Tony.
Bucky was silent, not wanting to get on your bad side. “You aren’t going. I’ll have someone stay here with you.” Tony said as he checked his watch. You let out a high pitched squeal. “Now I have to have a baby sitter!?” You gaped at Tony, standing from your spot on the couch. Tony sighed. “Yes.” He simply said before leaving the room.
You groaned and fell back onto the couch, stuffing a pillow over your face. “I tried, Y/N.” Nat said sadly as she walked out. Steve joined her and you thought Bucky had too, until he cleared his throat. “I can stay if you want.” He said, sitting down beside you. You moved the pillow and set it down, looking over at Bucky. “You don’t have to.” You sighed.
He smiled and nudged your shoulder. “I want to. I’m not really into the whole nightclub scene.” Bucky explained, his arms crossing over his chest. Your eyes trailed along his muscles and you bit your lip. Maybe staying in wouldn’t be so bad after all. “Uh, yeah sure. That’d be cool.” You said softly, your mind racing with the thought of being alone with Bucky.
The team had finally left to go party and you were ready to start the movie you picked out for the night. You had quickly threw on a tank top with some yoga shorts, wanting to get more comfortable, while Bucky was in the kitchen getting ready to pop some popcorn.
“Are you almost done?” You asked with a smile. Bucky turned to face you and his eyes landed on your exposed legs. “Y-yeah! Um, do you want butter?” Bucky cleared his throat, averting his eyes away from your body. You smirked and walked over to him. “Do you want it?” You asked softly, crossing your arms.
Bucky raised his eyebrows, his eyes falling to your breasts. “W-what?” He asked, his wide eyes meeting yours. “Butter?” You giggled, tilting your head gently. Bucky gasped, “Oh! I don’t mind.” He said with a chuckle. You blushed a little, moving to get some out of the refrigerator.
After popping the popcorn, drizzling melted butter on it, and settling down on the couch, you started the movie. A few moments in, you reached for the bowl and your hand bumped into Bucky’s. You looked over and he smiled, letting you go first.
A giggle fell from your lips when you watched him get a handful, shoving it in his mouth. “You’re gonna choke.” You said with a smile, watching Bucky shake his head.
“Nah.” He muffled through his food, only causing another loud giggle to sound through you. Bucky jokingly shushed you and you turned your attention back to the movie. You were stuffing your face with popcorn like Bucky had been doing, only because the scene before you was so thrilling.
“No, don’t go in there!” You yelled out, sitting up in your seat. Bucky was watching you, but you didn’t notice. He chuckled softly as you gasped. “Don’t! No! He’s-WHY DID YOU GO IN THERE!” You shouted, throwing your hands up in the air.
The male screams coming from the movie only frustrated you more. “Idiot.” You pouted, stuffing more popcorn in your mouth. Bucky laughed harder and you turned to look at him. “Stop laughing, that was so bad.” You sighed with a frown. Bucky shook his head and moved the popcorn bowl from in between the two of you.
He scooted closer to you and smiled at you. Your heart started racing and you gulped nervously. “I’m not laughing at that, I’m laughing at the butter on your face.” Bucky chuckled.
You gasped and your face turned red. “Oh, sorry.” You whispered, moving your hand to wipe it away. Before you could, Bucky’s right hand moved up to wipe it off with his thumb. Your breath hitched in your throat and he was about to pull his hand away, but you softly gripped his wrist. He stopped moving and watched you closely.
Keeping his hand in place, you leaned forward slowly, keeping your eyes on Bucky’s while his remained focused on your mouth. Your lips rubbed against his thumb and you opened your mouth, taking it in and sucking off the butter.
A gasp fell from Bucky’s lips as he watched you suck his thumb clean. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you pulled away with a pop. Bucky gulped and his eyes met yours.
Winking at him, you turned back to the movie. Bucky cleared his throat and you knew that you had reeled him in. Sure, he’s way older than you, but it’s not like he stopped you while you sucked on his finger.
The movie continued and Bucky kept shifting in his seat, causing you to become distracted. “Are you okay?” You asked, looking over at him. Bucky nervously looked at you and nodded. “I-I’m fine. Excuse me.” He muttered before bolting off the couch and out of the room. You frowned, staring at his empty spot on the couch.
You paused the movie so he wouldn’t miss anything, but as the minutes ticked by, you were worried you had upset Bucky. You left the room and went to find him, hoping your thoughts were incorrect. Deciding you should check his room first, you took the elevator up and continued your search.
Bucky’s door was cracked open and you gently knocked on it before stepping inside. You could see Bucky sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. “Bucky?” You asked softly, walking inside of his room. His head shot up and his cheeks turned red. “H-hey.” He choked out, resting his hands on his thighs.
You walked closer and stood in front of him, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I’m sorry if I did something wrong.” You said softly, watching him closely. He sighed and shook his head, scratching the back of his neck. “No, no. You didn’t, I just-you’re-” Bucky stumbled over his words. You nodded as you caught the hint.
“You think I’m too young.” You said with a sad scoff. You sighed and bit your lip. Bucky looked up at you and groaned. “Stop biting your lip, Y/N. Y-You drive me crazy when you do that.” Bucky said lowly, his eyes lifting to meet yours. Slowly releasing your lip, you creased your eyebrows. “I’ll just go.” You breathed before turning to leave Bucky’s room.
You felt his hand grasp onto your wrist, stopping you. “Don’t.” Bucky said, his voice laced with authority and dominance. It sent a shiver down your spine and you turned to face Bucky with wide eyes. He was breathing heavily and he swallowed thickly. “Dammit, I’m sorry. Y/N, you’re just-fuck it.” Bucky said before pulling you closer to him.
You stumbled over your feet and Bucky pulled you onto his lap, your legs either side of his waist. He looked down at you and let his hands run over your thighs, squeezing you.
Your heart was racing and you could feel the heat rising up your neck, reaching your cheeks. Bucky looked at you and you held onto his biceps, the muscles flexing as he moved his hands against your skin.
Bucky leaned in slowly, gauging your reaction for what was about to happen. When you didn’t pull away, he kept moving until he closed the space between your lips.
You let out a soft moan into the kiss and your eyes fluttered shut as your hands moved to rest around Bucky’s neck. Letting your fingers rake through his hair, he groaned against your mouth as you tugged on his long locks. Your tongues danced together, his winning the dominance.
Pulling away for air, you leaned your forehead against Bucky’s. He chuckled deeply and you hummed. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” You whispered, pulling away to look into his eyes. Bucky licked his lips and nodded. “I was afraid you thought I was too old for you.” Bucky admitted, his hands moving under your tank top.
You let out a giggle, the sound making Bucky’s heart flutter. “I was afraid you thought I was too young.” You said softly, watching Bucky’s eyes land on the exposed skin of your stomach. The contrast between his hands made you shiver. “No way, I love it.” Bucky said, leaning in to press his lips to your neck.
You moaned softly and tilted your head to give him more access. His teeth nipped at your sweet spot and you let out a whimper. “Oh, Daddy.” You breathed out, your eyes widening at what you just said. Bucky stopped his movements, his lips ghosting over your skin, his warm breath causing goosebumps to cover your body.
Bucky pulled away from your neck and met your eyes. “What did you just call me?” Bucky asked, his chest rising up and down heavily. You gulped and blushed hard, biting your lip. “Daddy.” You whispered, hoping you didn’t offend him. Bucky growled and stood up, throwing you onto his bed.
You smiled as you bounced, only for the smile to fade as Bucky hovered above you. He gripped your wrists and held them above your head. You gasped as he ground his hips into yours. “Are you gonna be a good little girl for me, Y/N?” Bucky asked, his metal hand grasping both of your wrists as his flesh hand moved underneath your tank top.
He squeezed your breast and you whined, moving your hips against his, doing anything to soothe the ache in between your legs. “Yes, Bucky.” You breathed softly. Bucky pulled his hand away and shook his head. “No, you know what to call me.” Bucky said, kissing your collarbones. You licked your lips, loving how plump and wet his felt against your skin.
“Yes, Daddy.” You corrected yourself, hearing an appreciative groan from Bucky. “Good little girl.” He whispered, both of his hands moving to lift your tank top off of you. The cool air in the room made your nipples harden immediately and Bucky hummed before grasping your breasts in his hands. “You’re so beautiful.” Bucky whispered, leaning down to twirl his tongue around one of your nipples.
Your hand flew to his hair, tangling your fingers in it. “Daddy, please.” You whimpered, tugging on his hair. Bucky smirked and moved to your other breast, giving it the same attention. Your panties became wetter the more Bucky used his tongue on you, and you wanted so desperately to feel it on your pussy.
Bucky kissed his way down your torso, his fingers pulling down your shorts as he got closer to your core. He threw your shorts behind him and pressed his lips against your hip, his fingers softly rubbing down your clothed pussy. Your hips jerked at the contact and Bucky chuckled. “You’re so sensitive, baby.” Bucky said with a smile, his eyes meeting yours.
You blushed and bit your lip as you sat up on your elbows. Bucky kissed along your thighs as he pulled your panties down and off of you. He kissed his way back up and his eyebrows creased as he moaned at the sight of you. “This is the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen. Oh, Doll.” Bucky said as his fingers dug into your thighs.
He spread your legs further apart and your heart started to race again. Bucky leaned in and stuck his tongue out, licking along your pussy lips. You gasped and watched him closely. Applying more pressure, he teased your clit with the tip of his tongue. “Daddyyy.” You whined, lifting your hips up.
Bucky held your hips down with his metal arm and you huffed. “Be a good little girl.” Bucky scolded you, his eyes meeting yours. You nodded and watched as he leaned back down, licking from your entrance to your clit, circling his tongue around it. “Oh, fuck!” You squealed, falling down onto your back.
Your thighs threatened to close shut around Bucky’s head, only to be stopped by him. He sucked your clit into his mouth, the obscene noises only driving you crazier. Bucky’s tongue was so thick and long, and you could feel his smirk against you as he toyed with your pussy while you turned into a moaning mess beneath him.
You gasped as you felt one of Bucky’s fingers gently slide into you, curling against your g-spot. Your hands found their way into his hair once again, tugging as hard as you could.
He growled, sending the vibrations right through you. Bucky pulled away and kissed your inner thigh, inserting another finger. “Cum, little girl. Cum for Daddy.” Bucky growled, pumping his fingers in and out of you faster, the wet noises filling the room.
Bucky leaned back down to capture your clit in his mouth and you felt your pussy clench around his long fingers. “Daddy, I’m gonna cum!” You screamed, arching your back and grinding your hips against Bucky’s face. His other hand reached up to grasp your breast and your legs shut around Bucky’s head as you started to cum.
You could hear and feel him moaning against you, his fingers and mouth not faltering in their movements. He rode out your orgasm and you tried to move away, but Bucky held you down even harder than before.
Your breathing was heavy as you watched him continue making out with your pussy. His hair framed his face and his cheekbones were much more prominent as he sucked all around your pussy, his tongue delving in your lips. The sight of him looking up at you was all too much and you felt another orgasm fast approaching.
As you came down, Bucky stripped himself of his clothes. You smiled as he hovered above you and he pressed his lips to yours again. You looked in between your bodies and saw Bucky’s cock leaking pre-cum, the tip a bright red from him being so hard. It was thick and a tad longer than you would’ve imagined.
Bucky could sense your nervousness and he rubbed your cheek with the pad of his thumb. You looked up at him and blushed. “We don’t have to.” Bucky said softly. You quickly shook your head. “Please, I want to…Daddy.” You whispered the last part and that was it for Bucky. He grabbed your legs and wrapped them around his waist, gently sliding into you.
You whimpered at the feeling of being stretched so much and Bucky was clearly trying his best to hold back until you adjusted to his size. Your legs tightened around Bucky’s waist and he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. “Fuck, you’re so tight. Aren’t you, little girl?” Bucky cooed, resting his forehead against yours.
A moan fell from your lips as Bucky finally slid all the way in. Bucky’s head fell into the crook of your neck and you urged him to start moving. He pulled his hips back slowly and you bit your lip, the feeling of him sliding in and out of you clouding your mind. “You can go faster.” You breathed, digging your nails into Bucky’s back.
He groaned and started to pick up speed, reaching even deeper as he slid back inside of you. “Such a good little girl.” Bucky choked out, his lips pressing kisses all along your chest. You cried out, feeling his tip brush against your g-spot. “Oh, Daddy! Right there!” You gasped, wanting him to hit it again.
Bucky growled, looking down at you. You watched his face as he slid out and slammed back inside of you, your breath catching in your throat as you watched his face contort with pleasure.
Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as he started to pound into you, harder and faster than before. “There?” Bucky asked with a smirk, his hips slamming into yours relentlessly.
You opened your eyes to look at Bucky again and let your eyes fall to his hips. You could see his thick cock glistening with wetness as he entered you and pulled out.
Bucky moved away from you and sat on his knees, pulling your hips closer to him. His flesh hand rested on your lower belly as he thrust back in. “There I am, fucking shit.” Bucky groaned, his cock reaching so deep.
Bucky hovered above you again and pressed his lips to yours, his tongue licking your bottom lip. You moaned and let his tongue play with yours. You felt the familiar tingle of an orgasm approaching soon after. “Daddy, I’m close!” You squealed as Bucky kept fucking you, the headboard slamming against the wall. “Does Daddy’s little girl want to cum?“ Bucky rasped, his hands gripping the pillow beside your head.
You moaned even louder, tugging on Bucky’s hair tightly. “Oh, yes please!” You screamed, your pussy clenching around his cock again. “Look at me when you cum, Y/N.” Bucky moaned, his metal hand wrapping around your throat. He added a little pressure and that’s all it took for you to come undone beneath him.
Moans and squeals fell from your lips as your eyes struggled to focus on Bucky’s. “Oh, Daddy yes!” You moaned, gripping onto his arm. You could feel hot spurts of his cum shooting inside of you, coating your fucked walls. “Fuuuck!” Bucky growled, his thrusts deep and hard as he rode out his orgasm.
Your legs trembled around his waist and your pussy was so full, you could feel your mixed cum running down onto the bed beneath you. Bucky pulled out of you slowly and collapsed beside you, a chuckle leaving his lips. “Such a good little girl.” Bucky mumbled as he wrapped his arm over your waist.
You blushed again and turned to look at Bucky with a smile. “Yeah?” You asked shyly, biting your lip. Bucky nodded and kissed your cheek. “Mm, so good. Let me clean you up, okay?” Bucky said before leaving the bed and disappearing into his bathroom.
After Bucky cleaned you both up and changed his sheets, he gave you his shirt to put on while slipping on a clean pair of boxers. You yawned and got underneath his blankets, watching Bucky join you shortly after. He pulled you into his warm chest and you pressed a kiss to his neck.
“Bucky?” You whispered after a few moments of silence. He looked down at you, his thumb tracing circles on your waist. “Yes, Y/N?” He asked, kissing your forehead.
“So, I’m not too young for you?” You asked, nervously looking up at him. Bucky smiled and pulled you closer, draping your leg over his waist. “Definitely not. It’s a turn on for me, but I do like you a lot, Y/N.” Bucky said softly, his eyes on yours.
You smiled widely and leaned in to kiss him, your hand moving to rest in his hair. You could feel his cock twitch against your thigh and you giggled. “No way. Not yet.” You said, watching Bucky blush. “I know, I’m sorry.” He chuckled, pulling you in for another kiss.
Note: I seriously hope this doesn’t disappoint :( .c
( Second photo) This is by far my favorite shot of Black Panther so far! My love for Angela Bassett is endless but I do want to take a minute to share a quick history of the Zulu inspired headdress she’s wearing:
The flared shape of these Zulu women’s hats (isicholo), dyed with red ochre, reflect the original design of the hairstyle on which they are based. Originally a mother would sew her daughter’s hair into this complex design for the initial stage in the series of ceremonies associated with her daughter’s marriage. The hats are a relatively new aspect of Zulu traditional dress that were developed in the late 19th or early 20th century and are based on the cone-shaped hairstyle that indicated the wearer’s maturity and marital status. Marriage and its affirmation of maturity is one of five key rites of passage in the life of a Zulu woman alongside: birth, naming, death/burial and ukubuyisa, “bringing home of the spirit”.
Once Zulu culture accepted hats as an alternative to the hairstyle, a young bride-to-be would begin sewing her hat as soon as she knew to whom she would be married. They are made by overlaying dyed string on a basketry foundation. Isicholo play a role in the ukukhehla ceremony, the second ceremony in which the future bride and groom exchange gifts and thanks before the actual wedding. For the majority of the ceremony the hat (or originally the bride’s hair) would be protected by a wrap of white fabric. At the appropriate moment in the wedding songs, the groom-to-be removes the wrap and pins a note to the headdress. Once married, a Zulu woman would wear this hat on a daily basis to signify her married status. The hat was one of very few adornments worn by married women, who, although part of a culture where beadwork plays an extremely significant symbolic role, wore nearly none.
Today the isicholo is no longer worn on a daily basis, but it continues to be used on special ceremonial occasions, when it is commonly worn with an imported scarf tied over the hat to keep the read ochre pigment from rubbing off on the wearer’s clothes.
(Side note: I am literally securing my wig because I am NOT ready for how great this movie will be!)
We all know Marilyn Monroe, Angelina Jolie, and Halle Berry are some of the gems we have in movies now. But I’ve watched a lot of movies that helped me gain the sugar personas I had and I want to share some of those with you all.
This is one of the more popular movies for sex workers and it is now a tv series. I personally liked it because I was ending a relationship while I was sugaring and I did feel some of the ways Christine felt.
Another thing I loved about this movie was the documentation and research this girl did on her clients. I use to have a notebook filled with all my POTs and SDs info, status, job info, likes and dislikes, turn ons, etc. My ex stole it a while ago but lucky for me I didn’t write down searchable info, even the names were in code.
I would recommend this as the first to watch before you binge watch sex work movies like I did.
Memoirs of a geisha
This is one of my personal favorites because I love the Asian culture when it comes to beauty. The grace, the discipline, and the routine of these woman is really what got me.
When I saw that one look method I was determined to get it to work for me. The Kama Sutra movie below also helped me achieve this. But nothing gets a man across the room faster than an enchanting look from a beautiful woman in their direction.
From this movie I was able to learn how to move more gracefully which is very attractive for men who like “exotic” women. So if you got hips sway them, if you have long legs be swift with your steps, and if your hand are flawless move them like a water bender on avatar (anime joke).
This movie is very gory so if that’s not your thing don’t watch it. But it does show some intense training for courtesans (old world Asia times).
The seductiveness of these women turned me on so I knew the same methods would turn any man on too. My favorite seductive move is the removing of clothes shown in the beginning scenes where the man challenged the woman to a strip game.
Another scene that showed me a lot of gems was the actual training of the women and how they were to taught to please. I even got some old school hoe tips for my Vag in this movie.
Yes it is spelled right and yes it is about using Karma Sutra. If you want a movie example of how some Karma Sutra techniques work then look no further.
This movie showed me how equally important foreplay is for men as it is for us. It showed little snippets of how even feeding can be sensual for men. My favorite tip from the movie would have to be the eye movements of the women while they danced. Those eyes have gotten me compliments from many dance teachers because they could see sexiness in my eyes.
Just look at these eyes:
Etiquette of a mistress
In case you haven’t noticed by now I watch a lot of Asian movies. This one in particular is informative and funny so you’ll really enjoy watching it.
If you’re a sugar that deals with a lot of married men this movie is for you. It shows you how to be properly discrete with your time together and how to deal with the cons of a married man. The best part of this movie is it shows the perspective of a veteran and a newbie, so I know my vets will enjoy this if they or helping any newbies out there.
Wolf on wall street
This is of course on here because of the famous Naomi character that we love so much. Her sharp tongue is definitely needed when you are trying to pass through all the BS talk. But another thing to pay attention to is her physical presentation of herself. Her style with her looks was like devil in a red dress but with diamonds add.
Two can play that game
This one is mostly for my brown SBs who are close to their mid 20s.
In the 2000s this movie was like the black woman’s player guide. I’ve used many of these strategies to get men back on track to what I wanted. My little black dress is still in the closet waiting for the day my fiance acts up.
One thing from that movie I don’t do is flaunt another man because doing that in this world can severe ties real quick.
A lot of people focus on Shante in this movie but I also loved watching Conny too. Mainly because I love Gabrielle Union’s acting especially in Being Mary Jane.
I didn’t learn much from this movie for my personal gain but I did learn a lot about sex work around the world. So if you’re just interested in a movie that shows you different kinds of sex workers watch this.
Breakfast at Tiffany
I love a good Audrey Hepburn movie because her white woman swag is just as awesome as Marilyn’s. She taught me how to be sweet and
youthful while also being mysterious and unavailable.
Being sweet and youthful is what kept my men feeling lucky to have me. But being mysterious and unavailable at times is what kept them on their toes and more willing do what was needed to “secure” me.
I’m starting to think I should’ve tried stripping because sexy dancing is one of my favorite things to do. Expressing with my body is like art to me but I was probably right not to strip, I would get addicted.
This movie however made me more glamorous and aggressive when it came to my sexy looks. I never got a chance to see real show girls in Vegas but I’m pretty sure I would be in awe by them. I’ve never been a glamorous person but after this movie I started adding a little shimmer and glitter to my style.
Again with the dancing lol, I’m sorry ladies but these women, even with out the dancing were phenomenal. The He Made Me Do It song was an all time favorite for me.
But as far as lessons I started to see how competitive women could be when it comes to money and credibility/fame.
I learned on movies like this how to out smart them when it comes to whales.There have been many new girls who tried taking my main SD away from me but they couldn’t get to my relationship quality. Even when girls did get some dates from other SDs of mine they didn’t last long. So please remember ladies quality and good relationships always wins when it comes to real SDs.
Josephine Baker Biography
My girl next door persona has always got me the most money. So when I saw this biography I started mastering it. Her happy demeanor and tiny voice was so close to mine it wasn’t hard to practice.
What made me the happiest, was that even though she was sweet, innocent, and goofy she was also sensual. She knew how to express her sexuality without taking away from her innocence.
The end of the movie was sad and showed a lot of her flaws but she was still iconic.
Confessions of a Brazilian Call Girl
I can’t remember if this is based on a true story are not but it’s amazing. Especially with the online social platforms we have now, this movie has been very useful. This woman on here became a high class call girl based on online status alone.
She was also another person I looked to for glam sexuality and showed many women that even average women can dominate the sex world. There were bad parts like her cockiness and drug use but if she would’ve stayed in her grind she would’ve still been raking in millions. One thing this movie can show you (on the bad side) is that you should never try to “Keep up with the Jones” even in the sex world because it’s never greener on the other side.
Call Me: The Rise and fall of Hiede Fliess
If you don’t know Hiede Fliess, look her up now. She’s the greatest when it comes to call girls. The tactics she used to get where she was is amazing. She really knew how to keep connections with her clients and how to get other girls money.
I don’t know what she does now but I do respect the contributions she’s made to the sex work industry. If you’re in LA or Hollywood you should really watch this movie.
Some notable tv women I watch
She’s so unapologetic about who she is and will get money by any means necessary. Her and Cardi B are like alter egos I wish I had sometimes.
She is one of the realest woman I’ve seen on TV and she used what she had to get her fame. Now that she got it she is doing here to the max and I’m happy for her.
I can see myself being like Nene when I get older and wealthier. She is a star in many forms and doesn’t let these women or her man interfere with her money. She went from housewife to breadwinner even outside of the show.
I get all my bougie ways from Ms. Whitley lol. Really she was a good representation of a high class but down to earth black woman for me. She started out a little too much for me but after some seasons she grew on me. I’m always a sucker for tiny voiced women because mines is tiny too (Not as annoying as hers).
Now I’m going to be honest I just started watching power but I love this women’s attitude. She’s sexy, ride or die, and also strategically vengeful. I might update this after I finish the show but for now that’s all I have to say.
This woman beats me in being bougie and extra. I’ve never seen anyone who goes all out like she does. When I was in college I always wanted to be a like southern belle with curves so when this show came on I was tuned in. If you ever wanted to see an example of a curvy southern belle that can still get a little ghetto, Here she is.
This list is just a few of the many women I’ve watched to perfect my personas.
Now, when I switch my persona it’s not to completely change who I am but helps me adapt to different environments.
For example: If my SD likes to watch football games from his box then I’m not going to go into my prim and proper mode, I’m going to bring out girl next door me.
Depending on what your daddy likes you’re going to be put in different types of atmosphere and if you’re black than your going to need to adapt. The way to more opportunities is by building your credibility which is usually based on how much people like you. You re like an undercover celebrity lol.
Now if you don’t want to change that’s fine but that’s what’s work for me.
It’s true, he doesn’t look that much like Odin, but it puts in mind the theme of family resemblance and, hey, look who does look like a family member:
But Loki and Hela aren’t related by blood, yet they look like. Sure, sure, comic designs are being ported over to the MCU etc. But you know what’s confirmed by this movie:
Odin, having had to seal Hela away before she caused too much damage, still thinking of her and the loss of her, his firstborn, and not too much later, this happens:
SHAPESHIFTER LOKI, EVEN AS A BABY, PICKING UP ON ODIN’S THOUGHTS OF HELA AND SHIFTING TO A FORM THAT RESEMBLED HER.
Picking up on just what exactly would allow him to survive, to be taken in and cared for, to be loved and protected. And Odin, grieving over the loss of his firstborn, coming to love this child who looks so much like her, this new chance to do right with a child.
Ragnarok (and all of the Thor movies, really) is the story about how Thor is actually the redemption of Odin’s line, of course, that the terrible power both Hela and Thor wield is something they either do or don’t learn to do with compassion and good in their hearts.
But I love that this makes Loki just as important a part of the family as he can be. He has his mother’s magic, she would be proud of him, he is Odinson just as much as Thor is, Thor is closer to having his mother’s looks, Loki and Hela share looks, Thor and Hela share a power beyond almost anyone else we’ve seen, the web of connections and themes is everywhere and Loki is 100% fucking there with them all.
OKAY KIDS LEMME SIT YOU TF DOWN AND TELL YOU ABOUT DAMIEN FRICKIN BLOODMARCH
(SPOILERS!!!!!!!! IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED HIS ROUTE AND DON’T WANNA BE SPOILED DO NOT READ)
OKAY, FIRST OF ALL
DAT HAIR, DAT MAKEUP, DAT SWEET OUTFIT
MY ACNE IS CURED, MY GRADES HAVE GONE UP, LIFE IS A DAMN DREAM AND IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF THIS GOTH PRINCE
HE’S V. PASSIONATE ABOUT EVERYTHING, LIKE ONE OF THE MOST ATTRACTIVE THINGS IN THE WORLD IS WHEN SOMEONE IS PASSIONATE ABOUT WHAT THEY LOVE AND HIS HEART IS FULL OF LOVE AND WONDER LET ME TELL YOU
This dude renovated his whole house by himself.
HIS HOUSE IS SO BEAUTIFUL I ACTUALLY HAD THE AUDACITY TO FEEL SLIGHTLY JEALOUS OF THIS FALLEN ANGEL
I WANTED TO STEAL HIS HOUSE FROM HIM
DID I MENTION THAT HE HAS NARUTO FANFIC IN HIS VICTORIAN LIBRARY?
NARUTO X SASUKE SMUT NO LESS
TRULY A MAN OF TASTE
And this dude has A+++++++ parenting AND gardening skills.
He is an expert on everything Victorian, including the language of flowers and arranging bouquets and writing beautiful letters.
INSTEAD OF SENDING YOU A MESSAGE ON DADBOOK LIKE SOME PEASANT, HE WRITES YOU GORGEOUS HEARTFELT LETTERS IN FINE CALLIGRAPHY SEALED WITH HIS OWN SIGIL
HE OFFERS TO GIVE YOU A PERSONALIZED BOUQUET WITH YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER ON YOUR FIRST HANGOUT
GIVES YOU HIS HANDKERCHIEF LIKE SOME VAMPIRIC KNIGHT OF OLD
THIS DUDE IS EXTRA AF WITH EVERYTHING HE DOES AND I AM 10000% FOR IT, YES THAT’S SOME GOOOOOOOOOOOOD SHIT, SIGN ME UP
But he also has a sweet and joking side. Despite his Gothic persona, he is actually really scared by horror movies. He takes you out for a date in a graveyard and somehow makes it comforting, enchanting even. He’s always making jokes about things the Victorians COULD have done.
Damien manages to handle his rebellious teen JUST FINE without making his son feel like he’s being patronized or controlled. He is diplomatic, calm, and loving. He’s a cool dad.
AND WHEN YOU FINALLY GO ON YOUR THIRD DATE, OH YES YOU ARE IN FOR A SURPRISE.
DAMIEN BLOODMARCH, MR. BEAUTIFUL PRINCE OF DARKNESS, IS ACTUALLY AN IT GUY WHO VOLUNTEERS AT AN ANIMAL SHELTER IN HIS OFF TIME.
AND. HE. LOVES. DOGS.
BLESSED IMAGE, REBLOG FOR GOOD FORTUNE
IF YOU WEREN’T SOLD ON HIM ALREADY, OOOOOOOOOO BABY, OOOOOOOOOO YES THIS IS THE KICKER RIGHT HERE
GOD WHAT AN ADORABLE DORK
IT TURNS OUT HE WAS ACTUALLY SCARED THAT YOU WOULDN’T LIKE THE FACT THAT HE’S NOT JUST A GOTH 24/7. THAT HE’S ACTUALLY A THREE DIMENSIONAL PERSON
AND THE REASON WHY HE DOESN’T FEAR DEATH IS BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THAT IT GIVES LIFE MEANING, THAT YOU SHOULDN’T LET GRIEF CONTROL YOU FOREVER
HERE IS A WONDERFUL, GORGEOUS PARENT WITH UNIQUE INTERESTS AND HE IS JUST FULL OF SO MANY SWEET THOUGHTS AND IDEAS AAGHHGHGHGH
Damien has lost people dear to him. Yet he keeps moving. He keeps finding ways to make his life interesting and beautiful. He is good with animals and kids, everyone really (except the cashier at Hot Topic). He has not let life make him bitter. I love that about his character. I think his connection with the Player Dad is really special because people judge him so quickly and the Player Dad helps show him that he’s more than just an archetype and he can be his own person. The pressure to be only a small part of himself 100% of the time was making it hard for him to enjoy his hobbies, or to feel free. And I relate to that, I really do. We all have something people expect us to be.
And don’t even get me started on the GRADUATION PARTY
DAMIEN’S SON THANKS YOU FOR MAKING HIS DAD HAPPY
AND DAMIEN SHOWS UP IN HIS IT GUY CLOTHES
HE HAS FINALLY ACCEPTED HIMSELF AND GAINED CONFIDENCE AND IT FEELS AMAZING
And then there is this
I have nothing to say.
I think I almost cried when i SAW THIS GIFT FROM THE GODS
MMMMMMMMMM YESSSSSSSSSS THIS IS THE PUREST CINNAMON ROLL, 70% SUGAR, 20% GOTH, 10% BAD JOKES
I FEEL LIKE I HAVE BEEN CLEANSED AFTER PLAYING HIS ROUTE
AND THIS IS MY INADEQUATE ESTIMATION OF DAMIEN MOTHERTRUCKING BLOODMARCH, MAY HE REIGN AS THE BEAUTIFUL DORK KING OF DARKNESS FOREVER
darling, I know you’ve been feeling down lately, so I wrote this really quick for you. I’m not sure what you had in mind, but I went to a 100 % unicorns place, so I hope this makes you smile a little.
A shadow falls across Stiles’ worksheet and he looks up to
see Lydia, mouth pursed, staring down at him. She says, “What do you know about
“About as much as the average eleven year old boy,” he says,
which is: not much. Horse-like, pointy horn, something to do with virgins.
Of course, he goes home and finds out everything he can
about them immediately. Both because Lydia asked, and because now he can’t stop
thinking about it.
Lydia has forgotten all about their conversation by the time
he’s ready to dazzle her with his knowledge, so alas, his mad unicorn skillz
lie dormant for years, until all the shit with the werewolves.
Stiles is cat-napping in a spill of sun when all his warmth
is blocked—he makes an irritated sound and opens his eyes to find Derek looming
over him, frowning. Stiles kicks out a
foot and rolls over onto his side in the grass.
Derek says, “What do you know about unicorns?”
Stiles yawns and says, “A surprising amount for a teenage
why don't you like kathleen kennedy? shes the only female and she seems nice
it’s april 2017 and there are still people who dont know kk is a white demon
kk is an icon of white feminism.
when she doesn’t get involved directly, female characters’ looks get incredibly diverse (animated series or novels etc. although, we can’t say they treat women of color well.)
new female actresses who play lead roles, d ridley, f jones, and e clarke are all white brunette (just like her). this is my personal opinion but for me, f jones was the weakest part in rogue one because of her emontionless and soulless performance, but kk was the one who insisted on casting her and she’s very proud of it. we haven’t seen clarke’s performance in the upcoming han solo film yet but she’s already very famous for horrible eyebrow acting (even her fans admit it). tessa thompson and zoe kravitz, who also auditioned for clarke’s role, is obviously better than her.
(also, i think the rogue one novel was a bit better but the movie was… it focuses on the white woman, who didn’t care about the rebellion but only herself then becomes a hero. it’s not feminism when men of color are used to spotlight a white woman, especially when one of them has sacrificed everything for the rebellion from when he was a very young kid. when i heard jyn’s character was originally more like cassian i couldn’t stop groaning because THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER.)
‘for some reason’ she keeps thinking white brunette women are the most ideal people to get the roles. even if she’s doing it unconsciously, it doesn’t change the fact that’s racism. she’s a racist.
and when you are a racist you can’t be a feminist because feminism means you support all the women.
she seems very passionate when she talks about rey and jyn but when it’s about other actors who are men of color she suddenly becomes silent?? and she talks about this “girl power” a lot but when it’s about races, ethnicities and diversity she doesn’t say anything? it’s always the directors who sat next to her who speak about it, or actors of color themselves. her “girl power” only involves white women and yet she said star wars represented the world.
she was a producer of complete disaster : avatar the last airbender movie, where almost everyone got whitewashed, which means she learned nothing from her past.
Actually, she isn’t even a feminist. Every time someone asks questions about “girl power” in panels she gets obviously irritated. One time, she was even dismissive towards the person who asked it too.
Top Misconceptions People Have about Pulp-Era Science Fiction
A lot of people I run into have all kinds of misconceptions about what pulp-era scifi, from the 1920s-1950s, was actually like.
Science Fiction was about optimistic futures.”
Optimistic futures were always, always vastly outnumbered by end of the
world stories with mutants, Frankenstein creations that turn against us, murderous
robot rebellions, terrifying alien invasions, and atomic horror. People don’t change. Then as now, we were more interested in hearing about how it could all go wrong.
To quote H.L. Gold, editor of Galaxy Science Fiction, in 1952:
“Over 90% of stories submitted to Galaxy Science Fiction still nag away at atomic, hydrogen and bacteriological war, the post atomic world, reversion to barbarism, mutant children killed because they have only ten toes and fingers instead of twelve….the temptation is strong to write, ‘look, fellers, the end isn’t here yet.’”
movie Tomorrowland is a particulary egregious example of this tremendous
misconception (and I can’t believe Brad Bird passed on making Force Awakens to make a movie that was 90 minutes of driving through the Florida swamps). In reality, pre-1960s scifi novels trafficked in dread,
dystopian futures, and fear. There was simply never a time when optimistic scifi was overrepresented, even the boyish Jules Verne became skeptical of the possibilities of technology all the way at the turn of the century. One of the most famous pulp scifi yarns was
Jack Williamson’s The Humanoids, about a race of Borg-like robots who so
totally micromanage humans “for our own protection” that they leave us with
nothing to do but wait “with folded hands.”
scifi often featured muscular, large-chinned, womanizing main characters.”
the image often used in parodies of pulp scifi: the main character is a
big-chinned, ultra-muscular dope in tights who is a compulsive womanizer and talks
like Adam West in Batman. Whenever I see this, I think to myself…what exactly
is it they’re making fun of?
more normal than you think to find parodies of things that never actually
existed. Mystery buffs and historians, for example, can’t find a single
straight example of “the Butler did it.” It’s a thing people think is a thing
that was never a thing, and another example would be the idea of the “silent
film villain” in a mustache and top hat (which there are no straight examples
of, either). There are no non-parody examples of Superman changing in a phone
booth; he just never did this.
my favorite description of pulp mag era science fiction heroes is that they are
“wisecracking Anglo-Saxon engineers addicted to alcohol and tobacco who like
nothing better than to explain things to others that they already know.” The
average pulp scifi hero had speech patterns best described as “Mid-Century American Wiseass” than like Adam
West or the Lone Ranger.
nearest the Spaceman Spiff stereotype came to hitting the mark was with the
magazine heroes of the Lensmen and Captain Future, and they’re both nowhere near close. Captain Future was a
muscular hero with a chin, but he also had a Captain Picard level desire to use
diplomacy first, and believed that most encounters with aliens were only
hostile due to misunderstandings and lack of communication (and the story makes
him right). He also didn’t seem interested in women, mostly because he had
better things to do for the solar system and didn’t have the time for love. The Lensmen, on the other hand, had a ruthless, bloodthirsty streak, and were very much like the “murder machine” Brock Sampson (an attitude somewhat justified by the stakes in their struggle).
“Pulp Era Scifi were mainly action/adventure stories with good vs. evil.”
This is a half-truth, since, like so much other genre fiction, scifi has always been sugared up with fight scenes and chases. And there was a period, early in the century, when most scifi followed the Edgar Rice Burroughs model and were basically just Westerns or swashbucklers with different props, ray guns instead of six-shooters. But the key thing to remember is how weird so much of this scifi was, and that science fiction, starting in the mid-1930s, eventually became something other than just adventure stories with different trappings.
One of my favorite examples of this is A. Bertram Chandler’s story, “Giant-Killer.” The story is about rats on a starship who acquire intelligence due to proximity to the star drive’s radiation, and who set about killing the human crew one by one. Another great example is Eando Binder’s Adam Link stories, told from the point of view of a robot who is held responsible for the death of his creator.
What’s more, one of the best writers to come out of this era is best known for never having truly evil bad guys: Isaac Asimov. His “Caves of Steel,” published in 1953, had no true villains. The Spacers, who we assumed were snobs, only isolated themselves because they had no immunities to the germs of earth.
“Racism was endemic to the pulps.”
It is absolutely true that the pulps reflected the unconscious views of society as a whole at the time, but as typical of history, the reality was usually much more complex than our mental image of the era. For instance, overt racism was usually shown as villainous: in most exploration magazines like Adventure, you can typically play “spot the evil asshole we’re not supposed to like” by seeing who calls the people of India “dirty monkeys” (as in Harold Lamb).
Street & Smith, the largest of all of the pulp publishers, had a standing rule in the 1920s-1930s to never to use villains who were ethnic minorities because of the fear of spreading race hate by negative portrayals. In fact, in one known case, the villain of Resurrection Day was going to be a Japanese General, but the publisher demanded a revision and he was changed to an American criminal. Try to imagine if a modern-day TV network made a rule that minority groups were not to be depicted as gang bangers or drug dealers, for fear that this would create prejudice when people interact with minority groups in everyday life, and you can see how revolutionary this policy was. It’s a mistake to call this era very enlightened, but it’s also a mistake to say everyone born before 1970 was evil.
scifi writers in the early days were indifferent to scientific reality and
played fast and loose with science.”
is, by an order of magnitude, the
most false item on this list.
fact, you might say that early science fiction fandom were obsessed with
scientific accuracy to the point it was borderline anal retentive. Nearly every
single one of the lettercols in Astounding Science Fiction were nitpickers
fussing about scientific details. In fact, modern scifi fandom’s grudging
tolerance for storytelling necessities like sound in space at the movies, or novels that use
“hyperspace” are actually something of a step down from what the culture around
scifi was in the 1920s-1950s. Part of it was due to the fact that organized scifi fandom came out of science clubs; Hugo Gernsback created the first scifi pulp magazine as a way to sell electronics and radio equipment to hobbyists, and the “First Fandom” of the 1930s were science enthusiasts who talked science first and the fiction that speculated about it second.
In retrospect, a lot of it was just plain obvious
insecurity: in a new medium considered “kid’s stuff,” they wanted to show scifi
was plausible, relevant, and something different from “fairy tales.” It’s the same insecure mentality that leads video gamers to repeatedly ask if games are art. You’ve got nothing to prove there, guys, calm down (and take it from a pulp scifi aficionado, the most interesting things are always done in the period when a medium is considered disposable trash).
the best examples was the famous Howard P. Lovecraft, who published “The Shadow
out of Time” in the 1936 issue of Astounding. Even though it might be the only
thing from that issue that is even remotely reprinted today, the letters page
from this issue practically rose up in
revolt against this story as not being based on accurate science. Lovecraft
was never published in Astounding ever again.
ever wanted to find out what Star Wars would be like if they were bigger
hardasses about scientific plausibility, check out E.E. Smith’s Lensman series.
People expect a big, bold, brassy space opera series with heroes and villains
to play fast and loose, but it was shockingly scientifically grounded.
fair, science fiction was not a monolith on this. One of the earliest division
in science fiction was between the Astounding Science Fiction writers based in
New York, who often had engineering and scientific backgrounds and had
left-wing (in some cases, literally Communist) politics, and the Amazing
Stories writers based in the Midwest, who were usually self taught, and had
right-wing, heartland politics. Because the Midwestern writers in Amazing
Stories were often self-taught, they had a huge authority problem with science
and played as fast and loose as you could get. While this is true, it’s worth
noting science fiction fandom absolutely turned on Amazing Stories for this,
especially when the writers started dabbling with spiritualism and other
weirdness like the Shaver Mystery. And to this day, it’s impossible to find many Amazing Stories tales