this is about as holy shit as they come

skam is ending & i know the panic attacks will come later, but for now i have to write this. skam has meant so much to me & given me characters to love and relate to when i thought i was alone with my mental illnesses. not only that, the fandom,, holy shit, you have taught me so much & it has been, and will continue to be for as long as i stay, an absolute pleasure to talk to you, hear about your ideas and heacanons and learn to see things from different perspectives ! you are all totally amazing, thank you for being you ! 
du er ikke alene og jeg stoler på dere ♡

people who has won my heart down below - 

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holy shit this is a hilarious and amazing idea

i was considering making a couple of hog variations including a little angel for shoulder angel/devil combo. now thinking about how i’d translate junky mcratface into this style. -deep in thought-

(spoilers there IS a junkrat sculpt coming)

chaotic--cosmos  asked:

Please talk about the mummy returns

pristinepastel said: Hey, i know you like the first mummy, but what about the mummy returns?

I HAVE RETURNED…after like a day. 

but what the people want, the people get!

RIGHT SO THE MUMMY RETURNS!

aka the only sequel that is 1000% just as good as the first one. like holy shit. 

ten years later and we meet our heroes again. rick and evie are happily married, going on adventures, and evie’s dream of becoming a respected scholar has come true and they’ve made a tiny human! 

the only unrealistic part being that they only had one kid, i mean they are still all over each other ten years later and you’re telling me they only had ONE kid.

okay. sure jan. 

but boy o’ boy is that one kid awesome! 

alex o’connell. this kid is literally:

  • 50% evie super-klutz-genius. 
  • 50% rick screams-at-things-that-are-illogical-to-scream-at. 
  • 50% uncle jonathan’s sheer dumb luck and wit. 
  • 10% i’m really bad at math. 

you get the point. HE’S GREAT. also the actor passed on harry potter because, JUST LIKE ME, the mummy 1999 was his favorite movie and he just HAD to be in the sequel. alex is just such a smart-ass little shit. that much like his mother, accidentally brings about the apocalypse by opening something he shouldn’t have:

Originally posted by rafikecoyote

ARDETH BAY TIME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. he has a much bigger role in this one. GOD BLESS. (because he was supposed to die in the first one, but test audiences loved him as much as we do, so they kept his fine ass around) he still looks prettier than everyone and is still so done with white people once again. 

*after almost being killed on he bus* “this was my first bus ride.”
*after realizing they’re gonna make him fly again* “why can’t you people ever keep your feet on the ground?”

he’s just such an awesome A+ friend goals, because while he probably needs to go be with other medjai to prepare for battle against anubis’ army (yikes), he stays with the fam to rescue alex. it wasn’t even much of a thought for him really, rick and evie just batted their eyelashes and he was like: *sighs* “these white people are always messing my shit up, but they are my white people.”

Originally posted by lestatscherie

jonathan: still beautifully the same as ever. witty, clever, and would do anything for his family. 

“be quiet alex! if there’s going to be any hysterics, they’ll come from me!”

“if you see anyone come running out screaming, it’s just me.”

when he boasts about being a good shot and ardeth is internally like “i’m gonna die.” THEN HE SAVES ARDETH. hell yeah.

Originally posted by aurhireactions

rick: he’s still screaming at things. BUT IN DAD MODE. he’s the ultimate dad.

“you, lighten up. you, big trouble. you, get in the car.”
*sweetly* “honey, what are you doing, these guys don’t use doors.”
“knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you’re about to do to him, but this is my house and i have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment.”

Originally posted by lmhotep

evie: still a super-klutz nerd, but with C O N F I D E N C E. little baby librarian is now a honey badger of ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK! and also a re-incarnated princess

“no harm ever came from opening a chest.”

rick: “i swear that kid gets more and more like you every day.”
evelyn: “you mean more attractive, sweet and devilishly charming?”

Originally posted by a-ripley

we meet izzy, another one of rick’s ex boyfriends, who is a much more reliable mode of transportation than previously mentioned murder buses. 

imhotep: still emo. still wants to make out with his gf.

anck su namun/meela: hella good villain. she bomb af and 100% wants to take over the world. amazing. she actually has like a really cool role this time too!!! like so much screen time. 

Originally posted by marimoody

the rock…i mean the scorpion king, he’s another emo villain with goofy cgi rendering and like 4 million terrible made-for-TV spin off movies that you are lying if you haven’t watched at least one of them and felt that utter disappointment. but who cares the rock is pretty. and this was his first acting role and the reason we have him where he is today. 

thank you mummy returns for giving the world actor rock johnson #blessed

Originally posted by charmander-ann

THE ROMANCE AGAIN:

normal action movie sequel romance: same guy. different girl. repeat of first movie’s romance. hehehehhehehehhEHEHEHEHHEHH. 

not here bitch. 

rick and evie’s love has only grown stronger. they still bicker like old ladies at bingo night. the still look at each other like they hung the moon. they’re still disgusting jonathan because they CANNOT KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELVES. one kid my ass. they still support each other and protect each other like crazy. they love each other so much and it’s so healthy and pure and there is some good in this world mr. frodo.

Originally posted by yocalio

the bottom line here is. what’s the point of watching the mummy 1999 if you aren’t going to watch the mummy returns immediately after?

JUST DO IT.

Originally posted by mummymovies

Tips On How to Write a Shape-Shifting Character (For both fanfic writers and original content writers)

(gif courtesy of http://ilyone.tumblr.com/)

HOLY SHIT MY LAST POST ABOUT WRITING  WINGED CHARACTERS (which you can find here) GOT A SHIT TON OF NOTES! SO I DECIDED TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE ON SHAPE-SHIFTERS!

There are a lot of shape-shifting fics and stories out there. Like. A lot. Whether they be about were-creatures or about characters that just have the ability to shape-shift, a lot of the times- like with winged characters- these shape-shifters are not written very well.

They may be unoriginal, or they may be super Mary-Sues/Gary Stus when it comes to the fact that they have an infinite amount of power or whatever. So I decided to tackle the issues that come with creating a shape-shifting OC or making a canon character into a shape-shifter.

1. Decide what your character’s shape-shifting will be mainly used for

Shape-shifting can be used for a variety of reasons, and that’s why it’s critical for you to figure out what your shape-shifter will mostly be using their powers for.

Here are some reasons why shape-shifters can use their powers:

-Battle (transforming into a bigger creature to overpower enemies)

-Disguise (transforming into something that blends in with the environment around them to hide from enemies)

-Forced to shift (AKA werewolves)

-Spy work (transforming into antagonist’s lackeys to infiltrate the base or even vice versa)

2. Set Limits Right Off the Bat

Shape-shifters are incredibly powerful, and in theory, they can be practically invincible when it comes to battle and hiding from enemies.

However, that should ONLY be in theory. Your shape-shifters CANNOT be all-powerful like their abilities can call for them to be. Here’s where Mary Sue/Gary Stu elements come in, because many writers just state that their characters can shape-shift and leave it at that.

That brings up questions like:

“If he was running from the Big Bad™, then why didn’t he just shift into a wall or a chair and disguise himself?”

“If she had to fight the Big Bad™, why didn’t she just transform into a dragon and deep fry him?”

“Couldn’t they just masquerade as the Big Bad™’s minions and get inside the secret lair?”

Then, the author tries to make up for the lack of rules by giving us some half-assed explanation halfway through the third book.

As soon as the reader finds out that the main character is a shape-shifter, you have to lay down the groundwork for the limits.

Can they only transform into animals?

Can they only transform a certain amount of times at any given point?

Is there something that distinguishes them from the object/person/animal that they’ve transformed into?

Can they only transform into inanimate objects?

Can they only transform into other people?

Does transforming take a lot of energy and therefore they don’t do it often?

Is transforming painful?

Take Beast Boy from Young Justice/ Teen Titans/ various other things as an example:

He can transform into a lot of animals, yes, but they’re all obviously green and unnatural, making it difficult for him to blend in with other animals. his means that his shapeshifting would be most used for attack than for disguise.

You need to set limits, or else your character will be all-powerful and the plot won’t be all that intriguing to the readers; they know that the protagonist will win, so they won’t bother to really get invested in the story.

3. There are many forms of shape-shifters. Just because the mainstream media is all about werewolves with sixteen packs that can cut glass doesn’t mean that you have to make werewolves only

Did you know that technically, a werewolf is just a subdivision of were-creatures?

The prefix “were/wer” means “man” and is usually followed by the name of an animal, ANY animal, to imply that the man (or woman) is transforming into it.

Therefore, there could be werecats, weretigers, werelions, wereunicorns, and were[insert plural name of creature here].

You should really look up the different kinds of shifters from all different cultures and regions of the world. They’re actually quite amazing!

Here’s a list of some of my favorite shapeshifter creatures (Note that these are not all of the shapeshifters, just my personal favorites some of which I feel needed to be represented more in literature):

-Were[insert name of big cat here]

-Werewolf

-Skinwalkers

-Animaguses(Animagi?) (don’t use these they’re JK Rowling’s I just really like Animagi)

-Generic, run-of-the-mill shapeshifters

-Were creatures that are actually just the creature trying to masquerade as a human/ a creature that has a human form

-Transforming into huge gruesome monsters (it’s good shit 10/10)

4. You don’t have to describe the full transformation every single time. The first time is enough.

Readers don’t want to have to go through long, agonizing paragraphs of description every time your character changes, especially if they change during a battle. They don’t want the bloody, gory action to be disrupted by a description of a transformation that they’ve read a hundred times before.

If you truly want to describe the transformation more than once, though I highly advise against it, never describe it more than three times, and make sure to make it unique every single time. If you don’t think you can do that, just describe it once.

You should, however, describe the symptoms that come with transforming. Is it painful? Is it uncomfortable? Does it feel incredible because it makes the character feel a rush of power? Gimme the deets, but not all of them.

Things that happen during transformation that you can describe:


Painful

- Fur/scales growing (stinging and itchy)

- Bones breaking and reorganizing, as well as new ones appearing and old ones transforming

- Muscles ripping and elongating/shrinking

- Fingernails/toenails turning into claws


Invigorating

- Heightened sense of sight/smell/hearing

- Adrenaline rush

- More power/strength/speed



Hope this helped!

HOWDY HO YA’LL IT IS TIME FOR ANOTHER ROUND OF ‘LISTEN TO VAL BECAUSE I HAVE IMPORTANT SHIT TO TELL YOU’ BEAUTY AND THE BEAST LIVE ACTION VERSION

  • the costume designs in this movie    I    c a n n o t      b e l i e v e
  • the set design too, holy shit
  • this beast ain’t gonna take your shakespeare bullshit here take the whole fuckin’ library and then you come talk to me about romances this is unbelievable
  • I don’t give a fuck I will fight everybody about Le Fou
  • I’ll punch a wasp I don’t give a fuck
  • Belle can sing ya’ll— like I don’t know if the design firm behind the trailers just autotuned the fuck out of the audio they were given but she sounds great
  • okay I’m sorry I work in the CGI field and half of this movie was just me freaking out about the rendering of the beast’s fur and his expressions, they did so great, holy shit, ugh, I was so impressed I’m fucking mad about it
  • seriously dan stevens was physically in this movie for maybe three minutes and the rest of it was face/motion capture and he just shines throughout the whole goddamn thing
  • belle whacks multiple people with sticks, it was good times
  • HER YELLOW DRESS WAS SO AMAZING YA’LL YOU HAD YOUR DOUBTS BUT I AM TELLING YOU THAT SHIT WAS GORGEOUS
  • Le Fou, again, I’mma fight people
  • adlkjflkjdg I DON’T WANT TO GET TOO SPOILERY BUT THE GROWL????? THE G R O W L???????
  • AUDRA MCDONALD????? WHY YOU GOTTA GO SO HARD??????
  • Stanley Tucci was in this movie? Like holy fuck?
  • Gaston????? Like holy shit????? He wasn’t so bad in the beginning but as the movie went on he just got creepier and creepier and creepier?????
  • Is it just me or were there a shit ton of interracial couples in this movie? I counted at least five, I think? I KNOW THAT IS SUCH A LOW BAR TO SET BUT I WAS HAPPY TO SEE IT IN A HUGE ASS DISNEY FILM
  • FUCKING LE FOU’S LINE IN KILL THE BEAST ‘Marching off to battle, yet I fear the wrong monsters have been released’
  • LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?????
  • WHY YOU GOTTA MAKE ME FEEL FOR A MINOR CHARACTER LIKE THIS, DISNEY
  • “some of them are in greek.”
  • “was— was that a joke? are you joking now?”
How to get into the Holy Trinity: Hamilton, Heathers, and Dear Evan Hansen. Ten easy steps.

Step one: Find out about Hamilton and halfheartedly listen to it.

Step two: This shit is goOD SHIT–

Step three: Coming down from the Hamilton hype a bit and you start listening to your other music again instead of Hamilton. Vulnerable to new musicals.

Step four: Hamilton blogs upload Heathers content. You check it out because you are apparently a musical person so maybe you’ll get into this one?

Step five: HOOOOO MAMA YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU NEEDED THIS WHY IS VERONICA’S VOICE SO SMOOTH–??

Step six: Start watching Heathers animatics because JD is hot in all of them.

Step seven: You watch a Dear Evan Hansen animatic because it came up on your dash because you watch so many Heathers ones.

Step eight: You listen to Dear Evan Hansen because you’re curious about it now and it seems pretty cool.

Step nine: NOT AGAIN HOLY SHIT

Step ten: Everything is a reference to one of the Holy Trinity. Your obsession has leaked into your every day life. Your friends don’t know you. You don’t know you. What have you become.

anonymous asked:

I need the story of the Underground Shakespearian Ring

Okay, so the school I went to for 9th grade had this really bizarre grading setup that I still don’t understand- for some reason, instead of the teachers writing up and grading tests and exams and the like, all the work was sent to an unknown third party for them to grade??? It made no sense.

Now, for the most part, the school had decent teachers, and they would just teach the curriculum correctly and then you wouldn’t run into problems with the grading. My English teacher was not one of those teachers.

So like, she hated me pretty early on- she was my homeroom teacher and thought it was disrespectful that I slept in homeroom in the mornings (I was on sleeping pills and they never wore off completely until around 10am), I never had the vocab homework in on time (someone kept breaking into my locker and stealing my vocab books I had to buy a new one like five times), she thought it was “inherently pessimistic and stuck up” when she caught me reading a book called ‘Ninth Grade Slays’ (it was about vampires, not her?), and during our Greek Mythology unit I kept correcting her about the name pronunciations of the gods (she pronounced Hephaestus as Hepatitis one time holy shit). 

Anyway, her feelings on me aside, her teaching skills were shoddy at best. But I had had way worse teachers, so had the rest of the class, and Greek myths are pretty straight-up in what’s going on, so no one really had trouble with the third-party tests.

Then we get to the Romeo and Juliet unit.

Now, fun fact: Shakespeare has always come pretty easily to me. Like, to the point where I sometimes forget/fail to understand that other people have an incredibly hard time translating his works. (I told this whole story to my friends in the school I went to for 10th/11th/12th grade and when the drama department put on ‘Midsummers Night Dream’ one year, more than half the cast tried to get me to translate their scripts and monologues for them lmao).

So, anyway, I’m just a girl, reading Romeo and Juliet and digging how it’s going…and then the teacher starts ‘translating’ it.

Um.

I cannot sift through all the bullshit this woman was spewing, but let’s just say that my favorite part is during Romeo’s spew about Rosaline, there’s one part where he says something like ‘with cupid’s arrow/she hath diane’s will’, and the teacher was taking this to mean Rosaline was a Super Lesbian who was breaking the law or something and running away with her lover Diane, which would be a rad storyline, sure, but like…I’m just raising my hand like “Um Ma’am, Diana is the Roman goddess of chastity. What Romeo meant is that she told him she’s sworn off love and is probably becoming a nun?” and this woman just got. So angry. Like, excuse me, you are a student, you’re here to learn, so you clearly don’t know anything about this (I read Romeo and Juliet for the first time in like preschool whoops). Anyway, she continues on making up her own plot to the play, and I…well I was basically Hermione Fucking Granger at this point I couldn’t just sit there and listen to someone be this wrong about something omfg??? She just got angrier and angrier and stopped calling on me after a while.

So for a couple lessons I’m just left to seethe quietly, but one day after class this girl I knew since grade school came up to me and was like “Could you…? Tell me what the hell we’re supposed to be learning?” and I didn’t even like her but I liked the validation of being someone’s Chosen Teacher so I wrote out a summary for her of everything we had covered so far so she could actually write a comprehendible essay for our homework that night.

But THEN the during the class when we got our essays back, she made a HUGE DEAL, like ‘oh Molly, it wasn’t bad enough that you’ve been failing this course material, now you have to drag your friends into it by trying to re-write the play?’ (l m a o). Like this bitch had literally tried to fight me on ‘Paris is the guy Juliet’s father wants her to marry’ and she didn’t even put a grade on my essay where I said the play only ended in tragedy because of how young and naïve the kids were, that if they had taken a breather and thought things through it probably would’ve been fine (it was a damn good essay and I stand by it). But anyway, she’s trying to make me out to my classmate’s as someone who’s trying to sabotage their education for laughs.

This backfired on her.

See, it dawned on people one by one, that she was only teaching the wrong material -> so they wouldn’t know the right material -> so when they eventually would take the exams they would only have her crazy answers -> which the third party graders wouldn’t know about -> everyone fails this course that’s like half the overall grade of the year.

Most students consider that a problem.

So suddenly the class has decided I’m the fucking Shakespeare Whisperer or something, and one by one start begging me for help. At first I was confused, because as I said, it’s so easy for me that I didn’t realize literally the entire class was lost out of their asses here. omfg. So I was really getting hassled here but I didn’t want my entire class to fail you know???? So I started meeting with people during study halls or texting them after school so they knew what was going on. And then they started telling people in this teacher’s other classes, including upperclassmen who were lost as fuck, so this was quickly spiraling out of control on my end, but overall people were really starting to understand the plays better!! So I was feeling really great.

But then, the teacher noticed that none of the homework getting handed in to her matched up with her crazy translations, and knew I was the sole person to blame (naturally). She literally tried to get me suspended over this, she went to the school’s disciplinarian!

Note: This guy, Mr. C, knew I was a God damn angel- my science class was off the charts, inappropriately awful, so every time one of our science teacher’s wanted to give the entire class detention, instead of calling Mr. C up to the class room as was the rule, they’d send me down to get him so he’d know to write up every student except for me. So when my English teacher dragged me in there he was looking her like “What on Earth could this girl have possibly done to piss you off?” 😂😂

And when she explained he looked at her for a very long moment, glanced at me with a signature ‘Office’ Reaction Face™ , turned back to her and was like “You want her suspended…for starting a study group?” and I was CHOKING.

So that really pissed her off and they started fighting and this was a very overworked and Done man so at some point he gave up and was like “I’m not suspending her but fine we can put a ban on the study group if you leave my office” omfg. So all the other students get notified and now they’re back to freaking out about the upcoming exams.

So like two days later, I’m at lunch, complaining about this to one of my friends who had a different English teacher and thus no problem, and I’m on this whole angry rant (Because I’m pissed, a bunch of kid’s grades are gonna get fucked up because of this! They just wanted to do well! I just wanted to help them!) and my friends staring at me quietly the whole time and when I finish I’m like “What?” and she’s just like “…Molly did you literally start up Dumbledore’s Army in our fucking school?” and I died on scene.

But then I started thinking about the comparison and I was like? You know fucking what? If Harry Potter can get those kids to pass their fucking DADA test I can help kids pass their fucking English Exam. Bring it the fuck on, Umbridge.

So I started Spreading The Word that anyone who needs help with their Shakespeare course can still get help, we just all need to meet up once to hash out the details. After some back and forth notes and deliberations, we ended up meeting in the school library, which was hilarious for a few reasons:

1) It was directly across the hall from this teacher’s classroom.

2) It was actually a converted janitors closet, way smaller than all the other classrooms, and there were like 50 people shoved in there; Not exactly an ideal Room of Requirement

3) The library carried no Shakespeare texts, but had the entire Harry Potter series on display to see when you first walked in

But anyway, despite the fact that we were literally three feet away from her door while we were doing this, our teacher was none the wiser of the meeting. We worked out a game plan- everyone writes out bullshit essays that align with what the teacher’s expecting. After she grades those and gives them back, they get them to me- slipping them in my locker, handing it to me discreetly in the halls or in another class, what have you. I then try to power through the dizzying amount of confusion radiating out of the teacher’s mouth and onto these papers, and more or less write out better translation of what was going on in whatever scene they covered, what the highlights they needed to know were, stuff like that, and then slip it back to them in similar discreet fashion (so the teacher/disciplinarian wouldn’t see me and get suspicious ; also because I was like 15 and wanted to feel like a super cool secret agent). They would then keep my copies and use them as study guides for the upcoming exams, where they would then answer all the questions correctly, the way the third party graders would mark correctly, and pass the exams + the bullshit essays would get them high marks in the teacher’s homework grades. The teacher never caught on to what was happening, just thought her students finally started paying attention to her.

All in all, it was a complicated mess, but it fucking worked. I don’t think anyone failed their exams that year. Will I ever be cooler? No. I think I fucking peaked when I was 15.

my favorite things said by mickey milkovich

“fuck you, fuck you, and especially fuck you”
“what do we look like a couple of fags for sale to you?”
“well this aint macy’s bitch, and you aint window shopping”
“im fucking gay, a big ol’ mo"
“like stab that fat fucking mick who keeps tryna steal my jello!”
“LOOK, DONT WORRY, WE’LL GET A DICK IN YOU AS SOON AS WE CAN”
“rise and fucking shine, cinderella”
“GUESS WHAT WE’VE BEEN DOIN DADDY? WE’VE BEEN FUCKIN”
“line up a shot for the Abe Lincoln of mouth whores”
“I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE SAYING”
“fuck off”
“you callin’ me gay?”
“christ, close the door, nobody wants to see that mandingo shit!”
“they’re not climbing Everest, they’re climbing dick”
“you come all the way down here to talk about my pubes?”
“those fingers go anywhere near that cock, i'mma break every knuckle in your hand! all fifteen of em’.”
“you wanna chit-chat more or you wanna get on me?”

i love shameless more than i love my family holy shit.

in which jack and shitty accidentally date

based on a dream I had, I present: a short semi-fic about Jack and Shitty and their day-long, beautiful relationship.

Basically, this is what happens:

At a kegster during their freshmen year, in which Shitty is running around being the life of the party even though he’s a freshman, Jack is also in attendance– talking to Berger and Marsh in the kitchen. Jack is there, partly to keep an eye on Shitty, partly because he is surprised by how much he does like some of the guys on his team, mostly because they had won today and Jack is in quite a good mood. Not a good enough mood that he is going to risk going into the living room where music is blasting, but in a good enough mood that he is holding a solo cup of beer and chilling in the kitchen, chatting with Berger and Marsh. He is at ease as Jack ever is– laughing good naturedly as they tease both him and each other and of course, this is when the trouble starts.

The trouble is this: Marsh is drunk and excited that Jack has actually shown up to a Haus kegster and since Jack seems to be in a good mood, Marsh decides to take a risk and ask Jack a Question. More specifically, Marsh rams an friendly elbow into Jack’s ribs and goes:

“Yo, Zimmermann, you like anyone on campus yet?”

A few months prior, that question would have made Jack freeze up. But now, Jack smiles easily (because honestly, it is a rather respectful question– “like” instead of “fuck”; “anyone” instead of assuming “girl”) and he certainly doesn’t want to get into his romantic history or lack of crushes so he smiles, shrugs, and says

“Nah, love’s shitty,” It’s still friendly and he smiles and asks Berg about his crush that the whole team knows about and that should be that.

The problem, however, is that what Alex Berger and Carter Marsh heard was not “Nah, love’s shitty,” but “I’m in love with Shitty.”

Which, of course, is a much bigger deal. 

Keep reading

So I just saw Get Out and this post will have no spoilers but holy shit, does it ever deserve its current perfect score on Rotten Tomatoes.

I’m not going to go on about its racial commentary aspects because I am white as hell and I figure it’s best if I leave that discussion up to POC, but it is just a fantastic horror film and a really well made movie and I highly endorse it.

Some thoughts:

  • I have only ever seen Allison Williams as Peter Pan before and so in my head, for the whole movie, she was Peter Pan
  • The cinematography is so GREAT and claustrophobic and that combined with the fabulous score just puts you so on edge and GAH
  • The preview makes it look like a racial Stepford Wives and it’s SO MUCH WORSE AND MORE DISTURBING, DAMN
  • But honestly though, I was actually the most unnerved during the setup than when things became a straight up horror film because at least then you could tell yourself “well this isn’t actually possible” but before that it’s like the microaggression equivalent of Chinese water torture and it’s so uncomfortable and cringe-worthy and the worst part is hearing shit like “I would have voted for Obama for a third term” or “my man” or “Is [the sex] really better?” and realizing you know people who would say that sort of thing and think they’re not racist at all and then you start to wonder if you’re that obnoxious and it’s almost a relief when things go to hell
  • Except it’s not a relief at all because HOLY SHIT THIS MOVIE
  • also the takeaway for white people here (other than don’t participate in human trafficking and racism) is probably that if you’re like Peter Pan and realizing your community is hella racist, the thing to do about it is not get privately frustrated but not actually stand up for your friends beyond incredulous looks at racist asshats, use your privilege for good, people
  • there is some comedy in this movie, and it’s great because it’s a Jordan Peele film, and it comes in exactly the right spots when you need a bit of levity or you might die of the tension, but it always felt like a proper horror film to me more than a horror comedy
  • the design of the hypnosis sequences are GORGEOUS
  • so there’s some gore in this movie but what you see is pretty much all surgical gore and any gory violence is just implied off screen, you only see blood as a result of violence
  • There’s no sexual violence in this movie, but there is human trafficking so that does imply that sexual violence is happening somewhere
  • There’s also an extended sequence of animal death where you don’t really see much but you hear the most awful pained cries
  • As far as I remember, there aren’t racial slurs or really explicit racist language (like “boy” or “you people” or calling the lead less than human or anything), but there is one scene that is very deliberately and painfully reminiscent of slavery auctions and there’s a lot of fetishizing of black (clothed) bodies by the white characters and casual dehumanization of black lives and at least in my perspective that made it even more uncomfortable and painful because these people probably are totally convinced they’re not at all racists and urgh
  • this movie made me like the TSA
  • like every single line of this movie has significance later, it’s really well-written
  • I know I said I wouldn’t comment on the commentary aspects much, but really, white people should see this movie, it points out a lot of microaggressions and makes you uncomfortable and it should
  • Daniel Kaluuya pretty much carries the movie in a lot of scenes and he’s great, I don’t know what his role in Black Panther is but I can’t wait to see more of him
How to ruin a thirsty NPC's day.

So I play in a Tyranny of Dragons game, and I had just retired my old character. My new character, a elf wizard/cleric (Ali) was going with our genasi monk (Gin) to visit an NPC named Jack in the Yawning Portal. This NPC happened to have a *huge* crush on our Monk.

We walked up to him and I’m introduced.
DM: Ali, you can tell that the moment he sees Gin, he becomes he extremely flustered.
Me: Alright. I shake his hand and say “Be careful not to fall to hard, dear, you might get a bruise.”
(Group starts laughing)
DM: Hah, okay, so you say that to him and he becomes even more flustered than he was before.
Gin’s player: Gin is completely oblivious and is really confused, like “he’s sitting down he’d have to fall off pretty hard to get a bruise.”
(Gin and the NPC proceed to have a conversation about another NPC, whilst I wiggle my eyebrows behind her to mess with Jack)
DM: Eventually the barkeep comes over with you drinks and asks for 3cp each.
Me(IC): I’ll cover it. Do you want a drink, Jack?
Jack: Nah thanks, just some more water.
Me(IC): To be honest, Jack, I’m not surprised by how much water you drink, considering how thirsty you are.
(Group immediately loses their shit)
DM, whilst laughing: Oh my god. That was amazing. You get inspiration, holy shit. You have never seen a human become more flustered than Jack is right now. He almost chokes on his water.

I’m so glad my new character gets along with NPCs.

tl;dr - I roasted a really thirty NPC into oblivion

Dating Montgomery Includes:

  • Changing him as a person
  • “What did you just say to Hannah?”
  • “Something Courtney told me”
  • “Not cool Montgomery”
  • “I-I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry”
  • Monty making you wear his jacket to his baseball games to show you off to everyone, making you secretly happy
  • Going to his baseball games. Being the loudest one screaming and flicking someone off who told you to shut up.
  • Monty flicking someone off for you as well
  • “Sit down and shut up!”
  • “Don’t scream at my girlfriend up there!”
  • “Yeah don’t scream at me!”
  • Sleeping over his house after his games to give him a celebration
  • heated make-out sessions
  • Him always giving you hickies in the most obvious areas so boys know that your his
  • Him stealing you makeup so you can’t cover them up
  • “Damn y/n that one is huge!”
  • Monty getting jealous when he sees a boy talking to you
  • Jumping in front of the boy just to roughly kiss you
  • You giving him hell for getting suspended
  • “Babe come on, we haven’t had sex in a week!”
  • “Oh well, you shouldn’t have punched Alex”
  • Passionate first time
  • Him being nervous to take your virginity at first
  • “Are you sure about this baby?”
  • “Yes Cruz”
  • Rough and hard sex afterwards
  • Monty being into daddy kink
  • Him being into bondage
  • “Y/n why are your wrist red”
  • “Don’t ask.”
  • Monty being the first one to say ‘I love you’ and not realizing it
  • “Gosh y/n your lucky that I love you”
  • “W-what did you just say?”
  • “I love you, holy shit I love you”
  • Both of you being inseparable
  • Him ditching his friends just to be with you
  • “Bro are you coming over”
  • “Nah I’ll pass, I’m with y/n”
Writing is Hard, pt 9: Sexting

Summary: You send Dean some dirty pictures.

Read Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Warning: Smut, taking pictures during sex

Word Count: 2600ish

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. Hope you enjoy! (Sorry, tag list is closed!) XOXO


You hold up the phone, then almost instantly put it down.

This is stupid.

No. This isn’t stupid. This will be hot. Just do it.

Keep reading

Ok, so something sad that happenes but it gets better.

Flug, while mixing chemicals together one day for an invisibility serum, manages to somehow grab the wrong chemical to mix with the one hes currently holding, because he was busy shouting at Demencia to “PUT THAT DOWN BEFORE IT SHATTERS!”, and the mixutre ends up exploding in his eyes. The rest of his face is fine, but his eyes become damaged. He becomes black and white colorblind. Hes only able to see in monochrome. His visions slightly blurry too, but aside from that and now being colorblind, he’s ok.

This wouldnt be such a problem, except that he needs to be able to see the colors of certain wires to make certain inventions work correctly, and he needs to be able to see the colors of different chemicals so that he doesnt cause a wider scale explosion in the lab.

For a while he makes things work. He has to work a bit slower on some inventions, and he often needs Demencia’s help in differentiating colors of liquids and machine parts and such, but other than the slower pace, which agravates Black Hat a good bit, all is the same as it was before the incident.

One day however, Flug comes into the lab to find a suprise on table: a pair of goggles that will fit over the bag he wears. (Prior to this he didnt wear goggles over the bag. He just had eyeholes cut out of it.)

He goes to put them on, and almost screams when he does because EVERYTHING IS BRIGHT AGAIN!!

The goggles turn out to have lenses in them that can correct colorblindness and “Holy shit I CAN SEE THE COLORS AGAIN!! THIS IS AMAZING!!”

Demencia walks in the lab with 5.0.5 in tow, and notices Flug walking around, looking at everything, clearly happy about something. And then she notices the goggles.

“Neat goggles you got there! Where’d they come from?”

“I don’t know but Demencia, they allow me to see colors again!!!!”

And shes kinda suprised because “Wait they make goggles like that?!”

And Flugs just so happy because he can finally do his work again without depending on someone else to help him, and this will speed up his work process againc and Black Hat won’t be so upset with his work time and -

“Wait, Demencia, you didn’t get these for me?”

“Nope, no idea where they came from.”

He’s a bit puzzeled, because these goggles obviously didnt just show up out of nowhere. Someone got them for him. Someone who knew he was colorblind.

Someone who wasn’t Demencia, and certainly not 5.0.5.

That left one person. Well, demon more like it.

Flug walks to Black Hats office, and opens the door just slightly to see that his boss is busy filling out that years tax forms, because “We may be a team of villains, but we still live in a house and own a business, and as such we owe taxes to the idiotic government that runs this country, and I will NOT have my company run to the ground because of tax evasion!!”
Flug waits until he finishes writing up the page he’s on, and then steps into the office the whole way.

“What is it that you require Dr. I’m very busy at the moment and you have orders to fill.”

“Well um, Sir I just..just wanted to let you know that those orders you gave me yesterday? They’ll uh..they’ll be done by tomorrow. Tomorrow morning actually.”

Black Hat looks up at that because “Flugs work has taken longer than two days since the incident that doesn’t add up” and then he notices the goggles.

“What’s with the new headwear Flug?”

“Oh the goggles? They appeared on my um. My desk this morning. They actually..they correct my vision?”

“…meaning?”

“I can..i can see colors again Sir.”

Black Hat sits back for a minute, taking in the information.

“Is that why you’ll have those orders done so quickly compared to your normal time?”

“Yes Sir.”

“…fair enough. Make sure they’re as good quality wise as the ones you’ve been producing. We don’t want to sell rushed work to our clients and ruin our reputation now do we?”

“No Sir, of course not. I’ll um..i’ll have them ready and done well by tomorrow morning for you.”

“Good. Now go back to working on them, I need to finish these forms, least my company go down the drain from failing to comply with thw government’s asinine rules.”

Flug turns to leave, and gets halfway out the door, before turning back to Black Hat.

“You wouldnt..you wouldn’t happen to have been the one who got the goggles for me, were you Sir?”

Black Hat looks up, small scowl on his face.

“Of course not Dr. Why would I ever do such a thing like that? I have no idea who gave them to you. Just be greatful that you have them now and get back to work.”

“Yes Sir, will do.”

And with that Flug leaves.

He doesn’t see the small smile on Black Hats face after he leavws because “he liked the goggles I got for him.”

you know what would’ve been, like… super cool to see in su? (i’m sorry for clogging the tag btw, i just have a lot of thoughts.)

the crystal gems becoming the symbols of a new gem revolution.

they’re spoken of only in whispers. no one mentions them in public. but everyone knows of them. if they have to be mentioned, it’s in a disdainful, angry tone. but oh, in private, it’s a different story.

they speak of the rose quartz whose love for all things was so strong that she faced down a diamond and won. (the lesson = “the diamonds are not invincible. they are not perfect. they are not gods.”)

they speak of the pearl who took up arms and proved she was as strong as any quartz, regardless of what she was. (the lesson = “we are not defined by our gems.”)

they speak of the garnet, the first fusion, impossibly strong and loving, who should not have existed but did. (the lesson = “the lines between us are not that thick. we are not so different from each other.”)

they speak of the bismuth who made weapons instead of buildings and who equipped a deadly army. (the lesson = “even the talents you have because of your gem can be put to any use.”)

they speak of the last amethyst of earth, who would never know anything but freedom, but who might come to them, someday. (the lesson = “one day, we can all be as free as the last amethyst.”)

and the crystal gems learn of this. garnet realises how much she matters to so many gems out there. her mere existence is the proof that the diamonds are wrong. pearl sees a legion of pearls who are just waiting to take up the sword alongside her, who refuse to be docile captives. amethyst realises that she herself is HOPE. that for an entire revolutionary movement she is proof that things can be better.

because how much would that mean to amethyst? she has a very low opinion of herself, but just by living as herself she’s become the image of hope for an entire species. she meets the revolutionaries on homeworld, starting with the famethyst, and realises… holy shit?? these people don’t even KNOW her but they love her BECAUSE she’s her. and she tells them a bit about life on earth because they’re curious, and she decides - she’s gonna keep being hope. she’s gonna keep fighting and being herself.

after the crystal gems return, word gets out.

they speak now of the peridot who defied yellow diamond and insulted her to her face, choosing life over duty. (the lesson = “change is coming. more understand the truth every day.”)

and they speak of the hybrid, a being neither gem nor human but somehow greater than both, a bridge between two worlds. (the lesson = “we are not so different from them, either. they can be anything. so can we.”)

and the crystal gems make them a promise - “we thought we were alone, that we couldn’t take the fight further, not after our armies were destroyed… but we have hope now, and we’re coming back for you.”

(the lesson = “the revolution is about to begin.”)

"Why did I even give you those" "Why did you make them so cheap."

So, playing with a second-time DM. The party was a group of three, a half-elf Warlock of The Great Old Ones named Larry, a human Tempest Cleric of Ba'al named Cyrus, and me, a warforged Bard named Beat.
We were all Level 1, and this was our first session.
After we had left a ruined old underground church via a back entrance into a river, we ended up near a town that had been mentioned as being where someone hired an assassination attempt on the Warlock. A traveling merchant showed up, offering various wares and one that is noteworthy is, two vials of this rather potent acid. It’s so potent, the bottles themselves are bottles made of force magic. They were being sold for 30 gold, and the DM tauted them as literally instant-kill potions that will turn whatever you contact with them into a puddle.
Beat didn’t buy anything because they weren’t confident it wouldn’t break in their pack and melt them, but both Larry and Cyrus decided to buy one, since it was so cheap.
So we headed into the town and… It was on fire.
We headed to help out some of the villagers trying to fight the fires and asked what was going on and they said it was a dragon.
Larry decided to check if their denomination’s church was in the town, intact or not. It was right behind us on the docks, and burned down.
We went over to investigate and… Dragon head pokes out of the door.
Everyone panics a little OOC as me and Cyrus’s player tried to determine what the fuck the Challenge rating of this big of a dragon would be. We figured it to be 17.
Beat and Larry thus were wanting to move but Cyrus got an idea.
Cyrus: “Hey dragon, you want some desert?”
Me (OOC): -Sudden realization- Ooooooh you, you have some balls to try this
The dragon lazily opened up their mouth, and Cyrus tossed in the force-flask of acid.
Cyrus (OOC): So how long’s it going to take for the acid to melt that much dragon?
DM (OOC): … About an hour.
Cyrus: Alright I come back an hour later.
DM: -Visibly annoyed- The dragon is now a skeleton on the floor.
Me (OOC): … Holy crap, how much EXP was that big of a dragon worth?
Cyrus (OOC): -Casually writing ‘the Dragonslayer’ as an epiphet for their character on their sheet- … MMm! Where’s it’s hoard?
DM: -Annoyed DM Noises as they try to figure all this out-

All the players leveled up immediately to level 4 at the end of the session, and in total we got like 40,000 gold.