this is a very inside joke

anonymous asked:

Do Gil and Lutz have any inside jokes?

THEY DO!!! It’s impossible to know somebody That Long and not have inside jokes—they could probably have a full day’s worth of conversation through only inside jokes and references if they tried tbh

THAT BEING SAID most of those crop up by accident because Gil and Lutz have very different senses of “humor” and what qualifies as “jokes” or is just straight up “worrying”

WHY YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOUR SIGN
  • Aries: You play all the time, and you play to win. You are a cheerful and a happy person but god help the ones who do you wrong or the ones you love. You know how to party and you know how to have fun. You always give great compliments. You have a great body and great physical looks. Your smile is sexy and your laughter is even sexier. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Taurus: You have an impeccable taste for literally everything, you are the biggest hedonist out there and you simply know how to live. And you love life itself which comes in many forms. You have a cheerful spirit, intriguing mentality and even a greater heart. You are capable of putting up with so much shit and staying sane, haters can just stay jealous. You have the power to crack the earth in two when you witness negativity and you will. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Gemini: Your intelligence, style and communication skills know no borders. You are always the funny one, and even while some people might think that you're a drama queen or a double-faced attention whore, you just know that it isn't true. And you don't fight them but you let them learn it themselves that you're not a double-faced backstabber who hurts people for fun. You just love supporting people and making their lives better. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Cancer: You are literally one of the sweetest experiences one could ever have. You can teach people a lot, and you can stay strong through a lot of shit in your life. You are pure, innocent, loving and caring. You give the best hugs out there and you know how to satisfy people. You are full of positivity and you always put people's needs before yours. You can stand up and keep an insanely happy face even you're being torn apart inside. You are strong and you are one of the most sensitive people out there, which makes you really strong. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.|
  • Leo: You have this cheerful spirit and you radiate with alluring energy. People might accuse you of wanting to be the center of attention but you deserve to be the center of attention because you are special and you know what you're capable of. You just want to assure people that you're a person who's capable of many things and you can lead yourself and people to greatness. You are a natural born supporter and you simply know how to make people's lives better. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Virgo: You are really a person who's great in many spheres of life. You're deep. People might accuse you of being overcritical and a perfectionist, but don't let them bring you down. Yes, you are critical and you are a perfectionist but that's because you just want everything to be alright. You suffer from tons of anxiety when you want to achieve something but believe me, it will pay off. Just stay strong and don't listen to people who say that you're very silent and unsuccessful because you have the potential to surpass them all. You are a great thinker, a very intelligent person and you are one of the biggest go-getters out there. Stay strong and you will succeed in whatever it is you want. You know how to fix people's problems and you are born to help. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Libra: You are a person who radiates with positive energy. You are a beacon of happiness and you are one of the most creative people out there. You know how to care for people and you know how to love. God damn it, you have impeccable style and you know how to dress. You are appealing and both your physical and mental beauty are dominant when you enter a room of new people. You are a big, big person with even a bigger heart than your body and you know how to give people an advice. Those pieces of advice you give, often fix people's problems. You are beautiful. You are admirable. You are capable of many things and you know how to get shit done. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Scorpio: You are a person who's capable of many things. People usually think that you're too intense, childish, evil and vengeful but you're not. You just know how to have fun and you love making people's lives better. You are a master of telling jokes. Your eyes can penetrate deep inside a person's soul and see the sadness inside that person. And you will help that person. You help people on a daily basis, even if they don't see it. Most of the time you are very sad and you suffer inside because you think that people don't see what you've done for them, and that is okay. But believe me, they do see what you've done for them. And if anyone wrongs you or a person you love, you can avenge yourself or that person you love. Many people think that you're cruel and unforgiving but that's not true. Don't listen to the stereotypes for Scorpios and focus on being a good person. You forgive endlessly, you just don't like showing your emotions because people might manipulate you or use them against you, so you might do some things (which you will later regret) just because you don't want to seem weak. But that's how you protect yourself. Don't worry about others' opinions, you're a great person, filled with positivity. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Sagittarius: You are a person who cares about everyone. You are not bitchy and nervous, it's just that you are sick of people doing mistakes which they will later regret. You are a born teacher and you are born to lead people into a new, better world. People need to start listening to your pieces of advice because the pieces of advice you give are priceless. You are not extreme and you are not impulsive because you want to be, you do it because you want to prove others that you're a good person and a person who honestly and sincerely cares about everything. You often suffer from anxiety and insomnia, but it's because you are a very intelligent person and your mind works a lot faster than other people's. You come off as a person whom everyone thinks that hates emotions and doesn't know how to feel, but, believe me, you know how to feel. You just can't stand it when people don't live just and you are born to fix the mistakes of yours and of other people's. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Capricorn: You are a deeply caring person but you don't show it as most people do. Others will think that you're unfeeling and cold-blooded because of the way you show your emotions and because of your silent nature, but you are not emotionless. You are a person who cares a lot about your and other people's future. You are not materialistic and money-oriented, you are a person who is concerned with your and other people's well-being, so you work your ass off because you know where you might end up one day. Don't let people pick with you or underestimate you because you are a very sensitive and emotional person who knows how to support people and lead them to happiness. You will be made fun of, you will be insulted, you will be hated and you will be fought but you should know that you shouldn't give up of spreading positivity and working hard to achieve your goals. Don't let negative people stop you and bring you down. Learn that you are a person who knows how to function. You are not dull, as most people think. But let them think because you needn't carry about negative people's irrelevant opinions because you know who you are, and you are not dull. You are a very interesting, funny and creative person. You are a great friend, parent, partner and a lover. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Aquarius: You are an open-minded person and your intelligence is really great. You are a very understanding person and you know how to have fun. You lead people into great adventures which might seem risky, but you do it for the sake of fun. Best memories always come from great experiences, and you know how to make people experience things. You are not limited and detached as most people think, you are a person who just thinks rationally for your and the lives for the people around you. You are not argumentative as everyone thinks, you are debatable. There's a difference. You love learning and debating, you just seem argumentative because you're passionate for debates and learning new things. You are not a weirdo or a freak, you're an eccentric person. There's a difference. You are a great friend. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Pisces: You are one of the most insightful people out there and you simply know everything, because you feel everything. you have the gift of unlimited and uncontrollable emotions, which might sometimes take advantage of you but I assure you that you have the ability to control your emotions. You are one of the most intelligent people out there. You are very beautiful, both physically and mentally. You are a natural born philosopher and you're the deepest person there is. You are not weak just because you are hurt or triggered easily, you are strong and powerful beyond limits because you experience everything both with your heart, soul and mind. You absorb people's feelings and you absorb information like a sponge. You are capable of many things. No matter your easygoing, sweet, cheerful or introverted nature, you are one of the best fighters out there and you always win no matter what, because you stubbornly go to extremes and you have the ability to go to the end of the universe and back, if it's required of you to get what you want. You fight till the very end and you know how to sit on the throne. Despite most people's (stupid) opinion, you are not a wallflower. You are a natural born leader who just seems dreamy and lost most of the time but that's because you're very intelligent and you think like no-one else does. When the topic of a conversation is brought, I bet you've already been overthinking about it. You can put up with so much shit and you can go through everything, you can run through hell and fly through heaven in order to achieve your goals. You are not weak, you're just a person with the most intense emotions out there. Learn to control things and you will be unstoppable. When someone hurts you or someone you love, you will turn into a giant shark and every unjust person will feel the ocean's wrath. You are not weak because you're a forgiving person, you are just one level above all those haters and you actually understand why people made those mistakes, and that's why you forgive - when you forgive. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
Signs as girlfriends

Aries: very protective, can get jealous, lots of touching, seems shy but actually very aggressive, tries to wrestle you but ends up making out, jaw and neck kisses, wraps their arm around your waist all the time

Taurus: lots of giggling, loves tight hugs, holds your hand all the time, bakes cookies for you, cares about you a lot even if she doesn’t show it as much, wants attention, very quirky and fun to be with

Gemini: knows how to turn you on, likes to leave hickies, gives you annoyingly cute nicknames, rests their head on your shoulder, likes ruffling your hair, likes to take control, likes spooning

Cancer: seeks approval, good at making out, cares about you a lot, big hearted, likes just being in your presence, tries to seduce you but ends up giggling, wants to cuddle all the time

Leo: super flirty, wants to show you off, will talk with you all night, isn’t afraid to belt out songs in front of you, lots of pda, has a folder of photos of just you on their phone

Virgo: wants to push boundaries but is shy/inexperienced, wants to be protected, eyebrow raises, dances crazily to your favorite songs, best friend and lover, makes suggestive jokes to tease you

Libra: very charming, knows how to make your knees weak, tells you how hot you are everyday, likes corny romantic dates, makes you watch chick flicks, happy with a simplistic relationship

Scorpio: steals your clothes, breathes in your scent, seduces you easily, likes sitting on your lap, gets to know you deeply, has lots of inside jokes with you, traces all your curves and admires your entire body

Sagittarius: super chill, wants to try new things with you, likes to let you take control sometimes, loves being wrapped up in you, admires your butt a lot, likes watching sunsets with you

Capricorn: lots of witty banter, will challenge you to think, likes watching movies with you, will lie in bed with you all day, out of the blue acts of love, teaches you new things

Aquarius: innocent and carefree, will beat you in your favorite video game, makes dirty jokes, will just stare at your face in love, dresses up for you, tells others how much they love you,

Pisces: makes you little gifts, lip bites, sends you cheesy texts, lots of light kisses on the hand, cheek, forehead, tells you how awesome you are, tells you all her dreams and ambitions

The Vibe I Get From The Signs

aries: try hard and badass. wants people to like them and think of them but deep down all they need is themselves. very outspoken and controversial. they don’t go with the flow, they dig their toes into the rocky sand and walk against the current. they’re the person in class who is always on edge, waiting for something to happen and jump in and save everyone. they thirst for adventure and never settle for less than terrifying. the feeling of security and excitement follows them, they never stay still and never stop for anyone. they make you feel as if you’re running through a forest with only a flash light to guide you in the dark, like fear and adrenaline are their drug of choice with you.

taurus: laid back, always calm. the quiet kid in class who has mad jokes and can roast everyone in seconds. they never try to make anything uncomfortable, but they’ll talk with you about anything if you bring it up. they’re an open book but their pages don’t turn themselves. a feeling of sheer joy and calmness. when you’re with them the world feels simpler, like all complications faded away and color has returned for good.

gemini: sarcastic beyond belief. very reserved but outgoing. naturally mean sometimes when they don’t try to be, they have trouble thinking of others feelings when it comes to certain topics. always want what’s best for you even when that may not be something you want, but they always know the right path and never wander too far from it. a feeling of desire to stay in their presence is always there. a cool autumn night and you’re sitting next to a speeding train, unafraid and ready.

cancer: smart, not afraid to be themselves. give off the feeling of a rebellious school kid that the teachers love but no one knows why. always know how to make you smile even when you’re at your worst. doesn’t seek trouble but somehow it finds them. they always find a way to keep a cool head and strategically problem solve. the feeling they give is a cool breeze, never too harsh and never too rough. they feel like when you dig your feet into the sand while water slowly pours in, pulling you in calmly.

leo: very outwardly, not afraid of anyone or anything. that person who always entertains you even when you’re not communicating. very extroverted but is really introverted when they’re not around people they know. loves to take care of people when they need to take care of themselves first. they wrap a warm feeling around you and make sure you feel safe always. they feel like the steepest roller coaster ride, that feeling that hits when you’re about to drop, then the pleasure and joy that comes when you fall.

virgo: ahead of the game. always seems to be two steps ahead, goes over all the possible things you could say and calculated their response. try’s to not be a know-it-all but can’t help it. give off the feeling of assurance. they do their best and are very hard on themselves, but they can also be unforgiving. the feeling you get when you get a question right in math class and you can’t help but smile. imagine sitting under a great oak, taking in the spring air, the feeling of the breeze hugging you and brushing through your hair.

libra: beautiful and unique. the kid who’s in theatre and puts everything they have into the performance. makes the dirtiest jokes and turns everything into sexual innuendos. they make you feel whole and happy inside, like everything is good in the world. they always seem busy, maybe come off as superficial because of their busy ways. but if it’s important enough to them, they will make time even if they have to stop the earth from turning. they love hard and they break easy, but their recovery is quick and they always bounce back. you feel like you’re on an island with them, watching the waves gush in and roll away.

scorpio: secretive. very dark-humor but very sweet. they’re like a fishing line and you’re the fish, you get stuck on them and they feel you in and you’re caught. the way they talk makes it seem like they have a dark past and chests full of secrets. they feel like the riptide in the ocean but more gentle, they care too much and they get hurt a lot because of that. you feel safe yet always on edge with them, like a storm is coming but you’re in the eye, safe from it all.

sagittarius: risk-taker. loves new challenges but hates heart break. always somehow leave you stunned and intrigued. they love confrontation and love the quiet. think of the kid in class that sasses the teacher but gets away with it. wear their heart on their sleeve and gets dangerous when people play with it. they set an earthy tone, like a ferris wheel ride and you’re stuck at the top admiring the city lights.

capricorn: emotionless when threatened. complicated but beautiful. they never live a dull moment and always grab life by the horns. aren’t afraid of judgement but still hate being judged. a calm sea wraps them up, smooth and strong, but also wicked and rough. they don’t like being told no or that things they do are wrong. they take care of their friends and love endlessly. like curling up in a wool blanket on a wicked winter night, the snow tapping at the windows and the weight and comfort of them keeping you safe.

aquarius: unpredictable. always has the right words and never will hide their true colors. will be mean as hell or as sweet as sugar, depending on the people they involve themselves with. loves to be loved. like the cute kid in class who can do anything and it’d be considered art. very creative and very influential. they vibe with almost everything and anyone, they understand deep emotions and always question the universe. the feeling of insecureness comes with being around them, but only because their speak is so beautiful and sophisticated you feel behind somehow. always reassure you that you’re perfect the way you are. like a stormy day, dark thunder clouds and dime-sized rain drops, electrifying but alluring.

pisces: likable and kind. kind of quiet but has a loud mind. has a deep need to be loved and can get very emotional when hurt. they absolutely hate feeling useless and are always asking to help. they make use out of everything they see and are very inventive. no matter what the problem is, they find a solution. sometimes get taken for granted, but never do the same to others. think of the kid in class who is just like everyone else, so it seems, until you see them when no one is watching, how collected they are, how eager to help. they are lured in by kindness and give all they have. they feel like a hot and humid summer day while you dive into a cool pool of water and your worries and issues seem to slip off into the blue and disappear.

Signs and Crushes

Aries: Pretty upfront about it, always on the lookout for someone and when they find that perfect someone they cling on. You’ll know if they like you by the measure of inside jokes you have, the amount of touching and eye contact. Pay attention next time their around. Give it some time and eventually they’ll tell you.

Taurus: Timid about it. They’re very fun people and love to just go with you anywhere. Very vexing and charming signs, so they might feel unattainable to you. In nature they doubt themselves, so they might feel the same about you. That being said, they most likely will go to their grave simply crushing on you. Maybe it’s best you make the first move with this sign.

Gemini: Like Taurus, this sign is timid about liking you. They want you to make the first move and tell them you like them. When it comes to crushes, this sign might do the most discreet things like tagging you in a post or remembering your pet’s name. Loves to laugh at memes with you. Wants to take you to new places but doesn’t know how to ask. Very gentle. Probably best you make the first move.

Cancer: Very lovey-dovey. Loves to compliment you in small ways and it might be pretty obvious they like you. Compliment them back, you’ll notice how they blush and smile. Very cute. You might also notice how they want to invite you in with their own friends. It is either-or with this sign when it comes to crushes. Depending on the person, you might want to tell them yourself.

Leo: A very fierce sign. They get what they want because of their strong demeanor. They’ll charm you into their lives and never let you go. When this sign likes you, they’ll be fairly shy at first, but pay attention to body language. Do they laugh a lot? Focus all of their attention on you? Once they’re comfortable with you, they don’t hold anything back.

Virgo: This sign needs to know that you mutually like them. They don’t go off on a limb and assume things. They don’t ask you on a date out of nowhere, even if they do suspect you like them back. They’re a logical sign, and they just need to know that the feelings are reciprocated. Therefore, it might not be that obvious that they have a crush on you. They want to get to know you better and understand your intentions. Once they do, they’ll open up to you and be very obvious when it comes to liking you.

Libra: A truly kind sign. Once you get close enough to them, they’re willing to do anything for that special someone. They love to brag about you to their friends and you might find yourself on their social media frequently. Eventually, they may come around to telling you how they truly feel.

Scorpio: Now you and I both know a Scorpio will tell you, your family, your neighbors, and your friends that they like you. They don’t hold much back. It takes a while to crack that hard shell of theirs, but once you do there is no going back. It might be overbearing at times, but Scorpio only has the best intentions at heart. You know they like you if they put you above anyone else.

Sagittarius: Very withdrawn when it comes to having crushes. They feel like they fail at love and so, when they do have a crush, they hold back completely. They love to laugh with you and adventure with you. Give them some time, and they’ll come around. Do not bombard them by confronting them instantly.

Capricorn: Similar to sagittarius, this sign is very withdrawn. They have a rather passive personality and will play it off as if you’re not much in their life. You might take notice to this. However, they think the world of you. Have some late-night mushy conversations with them and you’ll know they think the world of you. They’re a sweet sign, but they can break your heart in an instant.

Aquarius: This sign is bubbly when they like you. Very kind and smiley. They love the finer things in life and they aren’t afraid of showing you. Beautiful people both inside and out and you definitely don’t want to lose them. They make it obvious when they like you. It’s the little things in life that mean the most of them. So if they show you things like little places around town and beautiful, hidden scenery then you should just know.

Pisces: A reserved sign, or at least they try to be. When it comes to them liking you, honey, you’ll know. Compliments out the wazoo. Tries to make you laugh as much as possible. They always think about you, always. They worry for you, get excited for you, and will love you unconditionally. They have an obsessive personality and when they have a crush on you, all that obsession is pointed to you. They get so scared that they’ll mess up somehow. They make amazing lovers, but they will leave if something feels wrong.

other ya novels: my entire life has led up to this moment, i have to rise to the challenge and sacrifice my own happiness for the Greater Good. hey ho, my convenient band of morally sound yet somewhat two-dimensional side-kicks, i will save the world.

six of crows: yeah, so i have taken on this batshit crazy job because i’ve been promised big $$ for it. we might very well all get killed, but i’ve been dead inside since the age of 11 anyhow lol. no risk no fun. anyhow, there’s an impregnable prison complex waiting for us. 

the signs as people i’ve known

aries: passionate verging on obsessive.  defensive of both themselves and the people they love.  few layers; what you see is more or less what you get.  good-hearted, intelligent.  always up for a challenge, but becomes stressed out very easily and handles stress very poorly.  even when they’re tired, they somehow seem so alert and two steps ahead of you.  responsible.  they prefer to lead and lead very well.  interesting, competitive, loyal.  although they like to be correct and love to prove people wrong, more than anything they just want someone to listen and expand on their point, not disagree with it. romantic but they like to pretend that they aren’t.  they seek instant gratification and hate doing things that they’re not naturally great at (but they’re naturally great at a lot).  can be very self-absorbed, but it’s not conscious.  so loving and so lovely.  the yang to my yin, the storm to my calm.  a friend who completes me.

taurus: extremely nice, and they never want to hurt anybody’s feelings, so they tend to skirt around the truth or omit their opinion.  truly, genuinely kind, the sort of person you hope will always stay in your life, the sort of person you feel like you really need.  dependable, hardworking, stable.  they have been through a lot, but looking at them, you wouldn’t know it.  will ultimately put themselves before you (which is a good thing), but is always there for you when they can be. very realistic; they know what they can achieve and expect themselves to do so.  private to a fault, and doesn’t usually express their feelings. there is something about their soul that makes me smile whenever i think of them. one of the people i love most in this world.  my equal, the friend who i hope knows how much i love them.

gemini: endlessly charming, supportive, and brave.  always wants to make everyone happy, often at the expense of their own desires, so they’ll do things they don’t want to do but be kind of grouchy about it, leading others to believe that they are picky and that they change their mind too much.  frequently changes the details of a story to either make it more interesting or get out of trouble.  wants more than anything to see and experience the good in the world but is very often a victim of the bad.  overly-trusting.  they can make any experience memorable, and they are the most fun you’ll ever have. quite self-critical but they also know that they have a certain power over people. forgetful, tolerant, warm.  often feels quite overwhelmed and may not handle this feeling wisely.  crazy but kind.  the one whom words fail to describe.  the biggest piece of my heart, my mother.

cancer: both friendly and intimidating.  difficult to read.  patient and cooperative but more often than not, they think their idea/opinion is better than yours.  very, very smart.  super dependable, so sensitive, hold grudges like it’s their life’s calling. courageous.  behave very differently around authority figures, likes being seen as innocent and cute. they will keep your secrets but they will kind of hold them over you, and they tend to taunt others by saying, “i know [x] about [y] and you don’t.”  very funny, dark, and sarcastic once you get to know them, but initially sweet and sugary.  survivalists; they protect themselves first and their loved ones second and don’t really care about everyone else. friendly. once they’re in a relationship, they become rather absorbed by it and neglect the other parts of their life.  dramatic, obsessive. rather strong-willed.  when they’re having an off day, get out of their way.  they will never forget anything you tell them.  they see life as an inside joke.  my figurative fraternal twin.  the friend who is just like me but whom i’ll never understand.

leo: impressively loving, astonishingly generous, the whole universe in one person.  soft and loud, wild and cautious.  they are full of power, grace, and energy, and they awaken within you the sense that you are good and that you can do whatever you want to do. even when they’re quiet, their presence is felt. very self-critical, constantly questioning their worth. always in need of validation, which is why they like to be the center of attention; in order to know that they’re a star, they require a standing ovation. they want to love themselves, they need to love themselves. such a romantic, wants to be wooed and adored, and they’ll gladly return the favor.  soothing.  they are so easy to trust, but they are more careful with their own secrets than they seem. they love with every bone in their body.  they want, more than anything, a best friend. loyal, inventive, go-getters. great listeners.  can somehow empathize with every situation, but are mildly obsessed with themselves. love winning. my idol, the part of myself i hope i grow into, my aunt.

virgo: hilarious, dependable, treats you like their kid.  trustworthy, sympathetic. they are fascinating and unique, but they are too attached to their own magic. more obsessive than they like to think they are.  they take criticism very well, perhaps because they dish it out even better. level-headed but aspirational. they prefer to be the less loving one in all of their relationships.  feels guilty for feeling sad or emotional. curious and interested.  can talk for hours if you let them.  kind and smart, wants to be special and different from everyone else. treats the people closest to them the worst. believes in tough love.  loves to joke and be sarcastic but usually takes it a few steps too far.  perfectionistic, which leads them to put little effort into things that they feel they can’t do flawlessly.  the one i protect who thinks they’re protecting me.  the friend whom i loved right away.

libra: angelic, enchanting, sweet.  picky. they are so afraid of offending someone that they have to know someone really likes them before they’ll be honest with them.  so many layers.  funny and diligent. treats everyone like their best friend, but when you are their best friend, there is just something so slightly different about how they treat you, something that makes you feel amazing. good at everything.  completely unable to make decisions. gossipers. they want to like everyone, but they just don’t.  absolutely hates saying no, but will do it if it’s 100% necessary.  sleepy and goofy around people they love. works hard to look good, trendy.  smart, fair.  nervous around authority figures. fearful of loss and of growing up.  secret control freaks.  they are at once youthful and wise.  crazy patient on the outside, just crazy on the inside. always somewhere on my mind, the one who i was always meant to know. my very best friend, my soul’s sister.

scorpio: the best listener. truly wants to know everything about you. extremely devoted, passionate.  knows you very, very well.  so funny, so kind.  will stick with you through thick and thin, always on your side.  gives great advice. the person across the room who you can’t stop staring at.  secretive, fearful, romantic.  both observant and judgmental. will hate you for judging them while they judge you.  their heart is bigger than anyone else’s, and all they really want is to fill it to its brim with love. very often the sidekick, but they stand out to me. they are quite obsessive and they rarely wait for explanations. they want to own the people they love.  intuitive.  loves you soooo much.  impossible to know fully. deep, powerful. the ocean flows inside them, yet all too often that ocean is stormy.  the person many people think i am, the person i sometimes i wish i was.  my confidante, my partner in crime, my heart, my friend.

sagittarius: the most supportive and dependable person on the planet.  an amazing friend, the best person to have in your corner.  honest and disorganized, friendly and capable.  very quick to anger and has a hard time admitting they’re wrong.  devotes themselves wholly and completely to their partner and puts them on a pedestal, but once they’ve moved on, they’ve really moved on.  tends to succeed, lucky.  has a hard time seeing the truth of a situation and often must be told what’s really going on.  charismatic and caring, overly generous.  can spread themselves thin.  guided chiefly by morals which they never abandon.  has a strong sense of right and wrong (specifically, they’re right, you’re wrong).  my backbone, my other mother.

capricorn: pensive and stoic.  has a brain that never stops going.  they wake up every morning in the climax of a novel they’ve written in their sleep.  loyal, just, intimidating.  cold and private.  mean to people who are mean to them.  shuts down entirely for seemingly no reason.  the wisest of all.  mature.  silently romantic. victim of their thoughts.  intense, original.  they want someone to fall really deeply in love with them, but they close themselves off to everyone. admires the beauty of the world, moved by small details that many people miss. always thinking of the future, no matter how good the present is.  judgmental. wants to be better than everyone else. exceptionally smart. often falling apart on the inside.  can think themselves into sickness, into joy, into anything. loves to be alone, hates more than anything to be lonely.  soft on the inside. the best leaders but they don’t like to lead.  kind-hearted and always doubting it. immensely fatalistic.  the dreamy head behind my eyes.  myself.

aquarius: very patient.  analytical, detached.  they have favorite people and things and they will be honest about who and what these favorites are.  they love you, they just can’t tell you.  wants to be cared for without caring in return. easy to talk to, somehow always makes you feel safe.  impressive intellect. generous with the people they love.  genuinely good, inspiring.  easily overwhelmed.  resorts to humor when offended.  doesn’t try very hard to act like they like someone they hate.  wants to be special.  artificially nice to authority figures.  can be surprisingly mean without intending to.  very good liars.  super funny.  compliments mean a lot coming from them.  the person i forget i am, the friend i should talk to more.

pisces: kind-hearted, funny.  to really know them, you kind of have to know them forever.  so easy to love.  hates to think about the difficulties of the world and prefers to just have fun.  very much in the present and tries not to think about the future.  as such, they sometimes behave without thinking and wind up messing things up for themselves.  they tend to be kind of lazy in regards to some things and extremely passionate in regards to others; there isn’t a lot of balance.  can be very mean and very angry.  won’t apologize first when you’ve made them mad. must express themselves in some way.  no matter how much they say that they love you, they always love you more than that.  quite sensitive, hates few things more than being called annoying. super generous, always wants to be there for you but hates not being able to make you happier. truly the sweetest. my favorite person, my brother.

3

Ok so I have had this AU idea of like…. grumpy hermit gay mess Hanzo who basically looks like his hair is the pelt fur from his lone wolf skin because he could not care any less of how he looks, and he is that one neighbor who’s an asshole and never says hi or anything and lets his hellhound of a pomeranian go to other people’s yards and destroy them or shit on them.

He probably works from home and avoids all human contact that’s not necessary, except Genji because he is his lil bro! he only goes out when grocery shopping or to pay bills or hit the gym (look at those guns and pecs )

This Hanzo also sports the piercings he has in the winter comic and more less dresses up with the same style of clothes?? when he goes out that is, most of the time he just wears tshirts and sweatpants.

This becomes a McHanzo AU when Jesse moves in next door and finds Hanzo’s dog digging a hole on his lawn and decides to take it back to its owner and when Hanzo sees him he just “???????????? wow im gay af ??????????” 

Basically this AU is Hanzo being the one smitten by McCree and trying to get close to him but being too socially awkward to do it properly and having like bad timings and freaking out and going back inside his house whenever he feels he has fucked up to which Jesse is oblivious and just thinks Hanzo is an interesting guy. 

Hanzo tries to make it clear how gay he is without saying it by always using his Im gay mug that Genji gave to him as a joke…..just…boy….pls….Genji teases him to no end and as a way to encourage him, Genji says he will go after Jesse if Hanzo doesnt do anything about it which Hanzo is very aware could happen in the blink of an eye knowing how efficient his lil bro is when it comes to flirting with people, the guy has some unreal skills for dating.

but yeah thats all I got….. basically this is me wanting more McHanzo from Hanzo´s point of view, and having him less…uhh…far away and mysterious about his feelings? I want him being an awkward mess.

okay thats all Im sorry.

Bonus:

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee.

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialized area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theater full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

The signs as friends

Aries: the loud one with lots of jokes and amazing remarks/comebacks and always has flawless eyebrows

Taurus: a little bit stand offish at the beginning, but the best friend anyone could have. (shoulder to cry down for example)

Gemini: the gossiper who’s nice one moment but rude the next. But still a cool friend, knows how to have a interesting conversation.

Cancer: the shy moody one that always knows how to cheer everyone up, kinda just follows the flock

Leo: the crazy one that always has the attention, but has a BIG generous heart.

Virgo: the crazy one that looks like a sweetheart but is actually wild and crazy when you really get to know them. Always smiling and can’t stay mad for a long time.

Libra: the kind/quiet one that’s funny and always bringing back inside jokes and good memories, keeps shit balanced so no murders anyone.

Scorpio: the intense one that is funny and makes dirty/crazy jokes and who everybody loves, but loves to tease.

Sagittarius: always ready to help you when you need it, and will get you drunk if you’re sad about something so it is always fun to be with them. Also they are very trustworthy you can always rely on them.

Capricorn: the smart one that is hard to read in the beginning, can turn a frown upside down (can’t stay mad at them) the friend who likes to agree to disagree.

Aquarius: the one who gives long meaningful advice and gives you a new perspective of things.

Pisces: everyone loves them, the one that always cheer you up on your dreams and gives you good advice that they wouldn’t listen to themselves.

my friends and i have this weird inside joke we do where if we go to an amusement park together and go on rollercoasters we have this game of “rollercoaster confessions” where you have to turn to the person next to you, right at the very top of the hill before the first big drop, and tell them a ~shocking confession~ e.g. “i am secretly an alien” “i killed mufasa” etc

this is best if you time it EXACTLY RIGHT so that you are turning to them and saying “i am the true author of my immortal” and then immediately before they have a chance to react the rollercoaster is falling and everyone is screaming as if in shocked response to your dramatic reveal

I just remembered during Moonlighting when Lucretia asks the boys which is their dominant hand so she can put the bracers on them, and one of them jokes, “I’m ambidextrous,” and she says, very dryly, “Of course you are.”

But you know inside she was like, “Ambidextrous? You shits don’t know the first thing about ambidextrous. I’m on another level, fools. God, I can’t believe I had to make them forget how cool I am.”

Context: I’m DMing for a group who is playing Curse of Strahd. The barabarian, Bruce, forgot to retrieve his magic spear so it was confiscated by the law enforcement of the town they’re in. Seeing how dejected Bruce was, Zindara the warlock went and purchased a wooden spear made to be a child’s toy and used a bit of magic to make it sparkle. He then gave this to the barbarian and attempted to convince him that it was far more powerful than his other one.

Zindara: (IC) “Oh yes, this spear is extremely powerful. It’s a wonder I managed to get my hands on it, but I knew how upset you were to have lost your other one.” (OOC) I roll Deception to convince him this is a magical weapon.

He rolled a 23 while Bruce rolled at 2, so in awe of his new weapon he goes to show it to Larofin the paladin.

Bruce: (IC) “Look at this! Isn’t it amazing!”

Larofin: (OOC) I roll to see through the deception… 17?

Me, the DM: That is pretty obviously a toy spear. There’s even a price tag hanging off of it.

Larofin: (OOC) I want to roll deception to convince him that this is also a holy weapon used to slay a dragon… 19.

The barabarian rolls a 5 so listens in awe as the paladin describes how a holy warrior used this spear to slay an ancient dragon that had threaten to destroy his city’s temple and devour everyone inside. As the story is wrapping up the party’s “no-nonsense” NPC walks up and the barabarian calls her attention to his “treasure”.

Bruce: (IC) “Kamala! Look at this! It’s super powerful and rare! Zindara got it for me!” (OOC) Hah, jokes over now guys.

The NPC sees through the deception easily but doesn’t say anything for a few moments. She raises an eyebrow as she looks at the “legendary” spear, then at Zindara (who is trying not to crack up), then at Larofin (who is trying not to grin), then lastly at Bruce who is obviously very excited. There is a long pause before she speaks…

Kamala: (IC) “Wow, I never thought I’d see a weapon of legend with my own eyes. I used to hear stories about it; that only the most powerful of heroes are capable of wielding it.”

She rolled a 21 for charism and he, of course, rolled a nat 1 as the warlock and paladin nearly fell over laughing both in and out of character. Bruce is now completely convinced that this is a legendary magic weapon used by a famous paladin to slay an evil dragon, and thus calls it the “Sacred Spear of Dragon Slaying”.

BTS Inside Jokes

Hello ARMYs! So, I was bored and thought of making this compilation of 25 of BTS’ inside jokes! Please let me know if there are more because i’m gonna make a part 2 to this!

Hope you enjoy!

1. Jimin You Got No Jams – Kim Namjoon.

The most iconic line ever said by a BTS member and the joke that didn’t get old for years and years.

2. Swag – Min Yoongi

The amount of swag that Suga has…

3. Oh man holy shit – Jeon Jungkook

Poor Jin here though…

4. Beach? Bitch? – Kim Taehyung ft. Park Jimin

He sounded so innocent while saying it though like wtf?

5. Shit down shit down – Kim Taehyung

His “s” always sounds like “sh”

6. Excuse Me! – Park Jimin

Ahhh you all have to know this lol.

7. Jiminie Pabo – Kim Taehyung

When our Taetae went to every American he met and then you all know lol

8. Dirty Water….my faceu – Jung Hoseok ft. Park Jimin

Very dirty water Jiminie

9. Infires – Min Yoongi ft. Jeon Jungkook

Legend

10. Turn up! – Kim Taehyung

Lets go party!

11. Min Suga jjang jjang man bboong bboong – Min Yoongi

The one and only genius

12. Sexy Porn Star – Kim Taehyung

Saxophonist babe…

13. My shiteu - Park Jimin

This is honestly cute

14. Stob it! – Kim Seokjin ft. Jeon Jungkook and a laughing Park Jimin

Stop it! S-T-O-P I-T!

15. I hate snakeu – Jung Hoseok

Worst experience in my life - Jhope

16. I was born in Busan first – Park Jimin ft. Jeon Jungkook

He was born in Busan first Kook, he ate 2134 rice more than you

17. I’m God – Kim Taehyung

HE IS GOD

18. Pardon? – Jeon Jungkook ft. Kim Namjoon

No comments…

19.  One night in a strange shitty – Kim Taehyung

Again with the “sh”

20. My hearteu my hearteu – Jung Hoseok

Oh my god

21. Oh my gawd – Almost all of them? Haha

Oh…my…god….

22. Do you know annyeonghaseyo? – Kim Seokjin (This very joke updated to Do you know pittam nuemul?…wonhe manhi manhi yap! By Seokjin himself)

*Inserts Jin’s windshield laughter*

23. This chain….3 dollars – Min Yoongi

Iconic

24. International playboy – Jeon Jungkook

Sure Jan

And the last one
.
.
.
.
25. Ayo Hitman bang introduces hit it the second audition! - BTS

I laugh way to hard at this….


Part 2 coming up soon…..

Boyfriend! Jungkook

Dating Jungkook would include:

  • first things first guys
  • you’re always stealing his sweaters
  • “y/n what the fuck come on I was gonna wear that”
  • if he can’t find it he knows you have it
  • secretly loves it
  • so many inside jokes that the boys get bothered
  • jimin always says “what does that even MEAN” 
  • when you and jungkook tell each other an inside joke
  • so many tickle fights turned make out sessions
  • ya’ll make out in the prep room
  • the studio
  • between dance practices
  • in the dorms
  • right in front of jin and namjoon, who just sigh and roll their eyes
  • sex is occasional but when it happens
  • FIRE literal fire bc you guys are so needy for each other
  • the sex is always really sensual
  • never rough, very vanilla
  • and that’s the way you two like it because the only thing on your mind is that you’re with him and that you love him
  • “i miss you”
  • “can you come cuddle with me”
  • “y/n I’m lonelyyyy”
  • opens his arms when he wants to cuddle
  • carries you bridal style upstairs where the two of you bury yourselves in blankets
  • he likes when you’re pretty much laying on top of him
  • because that’s the closest you two can physically get
  • always very worried about you
  • wants to make sure you’re comfortable and wants to help you when you’re sad or stressed
  • always offers to help you with your English homework even though he’s not that great at it
  • literally the sweetest and brings home your favorite food after a particularly rough day
  • always always always trying to teach you how to dance
  • catches you when you trip then slips himself
  • you make fun of his obsession with timbs but when you buy yourself a pair he just smirks at you
  • laughs when you trip but when he trips you make a point to laugh harder
  • usually jimin joins in laughing at that point
  • he’ll get quiet when he’s mad
  • doesn’t smile or talk to anyone
  • you guys don’t fight a lot but when you do it gets the two of you really sad
  • when you fight it’s usually over bigger things like not spending enough time with each other
  • you think he’s overworking himself and he thinks you’re being over dramatic
  • but eventually in the middle of the night after the two of you fought
  • he’ll come upstairs from the couch and lay in your bed and pull you close to him as a way of saying sorry
  • he’ll whisper “y/n i love you”
  • you’ll just hum and roll over so your forehead is touching his chest
  • when you cry he’ll just put you on his lap and stroke your hair and wipe your tears from your eyes
  • and when he’s upset
  • you’ll sit with him and stroke his face and remind him of the inside jokes you two have
  • he always thinks about how grateful he is for you

other members versions coming soon!

things can’t make you look like a sexuality. it’s very tempting to make easy jokes about “Dan looks like a lesbian”, “Dan’s pastel video is gay” i mean obviously correlations between behaviour and stereotypes do exist but when things are kind of you feeding into heteronormativism and the harmfulness of everybody’s living inside a patriarchy and the bullying that exists within the male-system with things threatening their masculinity - that’s just a bad thing and stereotyping sexuality and behaviour and gender isn’t a good thing - so you can say “that goat looks like a lesbian” or “the flowers, that’s a bit gay” and it’s not necessarily the most offensive thing but on a level it is slightly bad because you are reinforcing those things you know so it’s funny because next time you’ll be like “oh i totally look like a lesbian” it’s like that might seem like that but there’s nothing wrong with a lesbian happening to look like whatever “masculine” is.
what is “girly”? what is “looking feminine”? you go to nature, you got a female lion - they’re all meaty as heck. tell you what, lionesses at the zoo - they’re all thicc, look at those thighs. male lions are skinny as heck sat in the corner. what is “feminine”? who’s to say that a girl has to wear pink and like flowers? gender roles make no sense at all. honestly it’s just one of those things that make no sense - like you can say “men are stronger, therefore they should be the hunters” but in our modern society that means nothing. that’s like grounded in some kind of biology - but wearing pink, liking flowers and not liking flowers - that makes no sense. there’s like literally no background for it. there’s a difference between things that have some kind of evolutionary biological basis that we can say while now in our modern society that’s a pointless issue that we shouldn’t let define us.
—  Dan’s rant on the flower-crown-criticism | Dan’s Live Chat 14/2/2017
The Signs as I've Known Them

Aries: Really cool, fun to hand around. Kind of annoying, but you get used to their sexual jokes and bad ance. I associate them with drag racing with really old cars and ending up busting its engine entirely.

Taurus: Usually sweet and caring, will never hesitate to tell you if something’s wrong and would love your help. I associate them with foreign languages that make you sound mature while talking to your dad on the phone.

Gemini: Very bubbly but fun to be around, especially if you can poke fun at them and make them laugh. I associate them with the color yellow that shines on your bed in the morning when the sun rises.

Cancer: Cute, very easy to tickle and tries really hard to make you laugh, but they don’t need to suffer as much as they do. I associate them with paint on the walls you were forced to paint as a grade, but ended up making multiple new friends along the way.

Leo: Stands out in a crowd like a pleasantly-dressed sore thumb; they tend to be touchy-feely, but its comforting when they’re quiet. I associate them with bright stage lights that have gotten too old for their hinges and now just gather dust from pleasant memories.

Virgo: Cares, but it doesn’t seem like it. They can be a bit harsh at times, but they’re total sweehearts when you get closer. I assocoate them with silent walks in the rain with your best friend.

Libra: Very polite and kind, knows everyone the best because they’re always in the background watching all the drama unfold. I associate them with the suburbs and video games that aren’t supposed to make you laugh, but they find the best things in them.

Scorpio: Not as sexual at the stereotype comes across as, but still makes a lot of innuendos if you don’t pay close enough attention. I associate them with rolled up jean shorts and summer days that are too hot to go outside but you just can’t stand being inside anymore.

Saggitarius: Very strong emotionally and mentally, will be there to listen to your problema, but probably can’t give the greatest advice back. I associate them with late afternoons with friends, just playing games strategically and kicking ass.

Capricorn: Builds a hard wall between reality and their emotions, really really tries to do good for others, under appreciated. I associate them with shimmering gold rings and hair streaks, having inside jokes with everyone.

Aquarius: Quirky and cute, but can snap and be a bitch the next second no matter how close you are. I associate them with cloudy days and lazy mornings where you don’t want to go to school but you prefer that over chores.

Pisces: Open and honest, loves attention and affection and respects your opinions, very aesthetically pleasing. I associate them with black out curtains and not realizing what time it is while in a call with your best friend at four in the morning.

Drarry Headcanon

for anon (because I couldn’t wait to post this… I’m still on hiatus…)


  • Narcissa and Harry thanking one another for what the other did during the war over letters
  • Narcissa telling Harry that Draco still fawns over him
  • Harry learning more and more about the real Draco
  • and soon, falling for his personality
  • Narcissa setting them up without telling Lucius
  • because she knew he’d be going insane with even more ‘Potter Talk’
  • Draco becoming super flustered when he finds out about what’s happening 
  • because he totally doesn’t still talk about how bad he wants to be Potter’s friend
  • and how they’ve hated each other since the beginning
  • the most awkward first date
  • and an even more awkward second
  • but bonding over old stories from their days at Hogwarts 
  • them finally telling each other about their feelings towards each other during school 
  • Draco breaking down in front of Harry while telling him how bad his rejection felt
  • “I felt as if someone had ripped out my heart and tore it into a million pieces…“
  • Harry describing the guilt and pain he felt after using sectumsempra 
  • “I didn’t mean to hurt you…”
  • Them feeling they need to see each other at least 3 times a week 
  • Harry teaching Draco about muggle things 
  • Draco falling in love with movies
  • Harry putting his arm around Draco as they watch one together 
  • Draco laying his head on Harry’s shoulder just after
  • That first kiss they don’t know who started 
  • but knowing they can’t be apart for very long
  • Draco always staying at Harry’s flat
  • because he’s is afraid to live alone
  • and he’s not quite sure what his father would think 
  • “I don’t think my father will hear about this”
  • During their time off of work, they just like to hang out
  • whether that be visit the shops, make a homemade meal, play a 1 on 1 Quidditch match, or just lay in bed until noon
  • Little inside jokes about each other
  • Draco teasing Harry about his horrible eyesight 
  • “At least I’ll have you to help me around if I ever lose my glasses, Malfoy.”
  • Falling asleep while snuggled up together 
  • Harry visiting Draco at work every chance he gets 
  • and Draco doing the same for Harry
  • Him finally gaining the courage to show Harry his scars
  • Harry tracing over each line with his fingers as he feels the guilt come back
  • “I’m sorry”
  • Draco still warming up to the Weasleys and Granger
  • The Weasleys taking him in as their own and treating him like they did Harry for all of those years
  • both of them being afraid to say what’s really on their mind
  • because they think the other won’t feel the same
  • but Harry gives in first
  • “I love you”
  • Draco feeling butterflies in his stomach 
  • “I love you too”