this is a veritable feast

A day impacted by noise –
a borehole being drilled, 
a driver being irate, his horn obnoxious,
neighbours having a squabble,
dogs unbearably excited,
a political rally here, 
a thrilling football match there,
beer bottles shattering,
a two-year old exercising his lungs –

oof!

Then, 

call it respite, call it relief,
like a bubbling stream, 
like a soothing salve,
her voice fills my senses,
infused with lightness,
I nod my head, tap my feet
to the rhythm she picks
mesmerising by the clarity
delighted by its purity,
Oh, the way she sings!

God!

I don’t know
if You’ve noticed,
there’s an angel missing
from your choir. 

2) First Date- Or, Inclement Weather

Sherlock is not having this.

He’s not having his first proper date with Molly Hooper ruined because London’s summer is shite.

So when he realises that the bucketing rain outside is going nowhere and will thus nix his plans for a picnic, he does the logical thing: He calls Mycroft and has him shut down access to Baker Street for all but local traffic, as well as having the florist and caterer his brother favours when entertaining Lady Smallwood send over large bouquets of flowers and a veritable feast of Thai food.

He then arranges for one of Mycroft’s cars to pick her up from Bart’s.

Of course, by the time Molly gets to Baker Street she’s so exhausted she can barely taste the food (her favourite), or smell the flowers (her preference), and she falls asleep  on his shoulder before they can do anything even remotely romantic, let alone naughty.

Still, judging by the smile on her face the next morning, Sherlock thinks she’s as happy as he with their first date.

sherrigamblin  asked:

LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! Imagine Claire's reaction when Jamie keeps bringing home strays. LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!

Modern Glasgow AU

Claire shrugged out of her blue overcoat, hung it beside Jamie’s mac (raindrops still clinging to it from the earlier cloudburst), straightened a pair of William’s muddy boots and Julia’s battered clogs (tsking to herself that she had to remind them yet again to neatly line up their shoes in the cubby when they came back inside), and set her Mini’s keys in the dish on the sideboard. The metal clanked cheerily with Jamie’s own Range Rover keys.

She signed, rolled her shoulders in a vain attempt to shrug of the stiffness from a long day standing in the clinic’s walk-in ward, and smelled something delightful wafting from the Lallybroch kitchen.

Ah, Mrs. Crook was up to something tonight. She’d cooked a veritable feast the night before, and there had been plenty of leftovers. So why was she baking…lasagna?

Claire frowned. Something was up.

Just what that something was became immediately apparent as she padded down the hall and rounded the corner into the kitchen.

Small muddy pawprints dotted the cream-colored tile between the doorway and the space beside the oven, where her husband and five children stood in a circle, crouching over something.

“…doesna have a collar so I suppose we can keep him then?”

“He’s so small - I canna believe someone would just let him go like that!”

“Aye - if he hadna chased Adso up that tree I’d never ha’ seen him! He was hiding under the bushes -”

Claire cleared her throat. “What are you all doing?”

Six heads swiveled toward the doorway. Jamie’s face split into a smile, eyes creasing.

Oh no. She knew that look…

“Mama! Mama! Itsa wee dog! Da found him today!” Brianna exclaimed.

“Aye Da says we can keep him, as long as we take him to the vet and make sure he’s go’ his shots!” William practically vibrated from excitement.

Fergus hoisted Julia up on his hip as Faith stepped back.

To reveal a small, lean, bushy gray dog, blissfully destroying a cooked chicken.

Jamie crossed the room to gently kiss Claire’s brow in welcome. “He’s small, but his paws are big. So he’ll grow to become a proper guard dog, aye? We’re in need of one around here - the bairns all sorely miss Bran, and it’s been a while since Lallybroch has had a dog…”

Claire surveyed her small family from left to right - blue and brown eyes pleading silently.

She shook her head in amazement. “I can’t argue with any of you, it seems. What shall we call him?”

William cleared his throat. “I was thinking…Rollo.”

Julia craned her neck over Fergus’ shoulder to look at her big brother. “Wollo?”

William raised his chin a bit. “Aye - Murtagh and I were watching a documentary about Vikings the other day. Rollo was a mighty Viking king. A good dog should have a strong name, aye?”

“Yeah - Rollo!” Faith cheered. “And if we’re not too careful, he’ll get big enough from Mrs. Crook’s cooking that we’ll need to roll him out of the kitchen!”

Rollo Fraser chose that moment to look up at his new family, lick his chops, and urinate on the tile.

making spirits bright

today’s fic: jily celebrity au

(or basically a sequel to the tinder au i wrote back in may)

lol remember when i had about 30 anons clamouring for a sequel to this and i was like ‘um no idk what it would even be about’? well ta-da. here’s a sequel. about nothing. idk man it’s just 2k of fluff.

wc: 2201

ao3 | see more ficmas here

“Did you know that we’ve apparently broken up?”

James barely looks up from where he’s sat on the floor, leaning against her legs as he goes head on against Sirius and they in a FIFA match. She finds it absolutely hysterical that he’s losing so badly when he himself is a world class football player.

“Charming,” he says distractedly, “Is that the Sun again?”

Lily flicks his ear. “No, the Sun said we eloped in Paris a few months ago and we’re awaiting the arrival of our firstborn with bated breath. Honestly James, keep up.”

“My bad,” he says dryly, “By the way, we’re naming our first child Elvendork.”

“I thought we agreed on Bathsheba?”

“Yeah, but Elvendork is unisex.”

“Good point.”

He throws down his controller in a huff when the game ends with him losing spectacularly. Remus comes in first place, and he snickers when he sees his ridiculous pout. Meanwhile Lily just pets him, accustomed to her boyfriend, the drama queen.

It’s only later, when he’s spread out on the couch, his head on her lap while the rest of them switch over to another game, does he ask, “Sorry, who was saying that we broke up?”

Lily glances down at him, still scrolling through her phone. “Oh, the Mirror. Marlene likes to tweet me articles that we’re mentioned in. Apparently the fact that I didn’t go to the last fundraiser with you but went out for milk on Saturday without makeup means that our relationship is on the rocks.”

“How dare you not wear makeup while doing menial everyday things. They’re right, this is the beginning of a downward spiral, Evans.”

He’s still in her lap, glasses askew and hair a complete mess, and she leans down to swipe a quick peck on the lips.

“Yeah, I’m a real embarrassment, you should break up with me.”

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[fic] got me hooked

Percy Jackson doesn’t go looking for trouble; trouble always comes looking for him. In which a Hufflepuff is trying his damnedest not to get expelled from the only school he’s ever liked, but he’s best friends with a Slytherin who has a penchant for rule-breaking, and he can’t say no to her pretty smile.

(AKA here’s a thank you fic for reaching 600 followers!! Have some PJO Hogwarts!AU. I actually have a more substantial Hogwarts!AU involving the Triwizard Tournament but that’s nowhere near done so you can have this ball of fluff for now)

-&- 
Saying Percy Jackson is a troubled kid is an exaggeration and an understatement at the same time.

By the time he’s ten years old, he’s been through six different schools. In each school, he gets expelled for strange, inexplicable things that only happen when he’s around. In his last school, a girl who bullied one of his close friends actually got grabbed by the water from the courtyard fountain and pulled in. And somehow, the school thinks that’s his fault. 

Okay, yeah, it most likely was his fault; but in his defense, he had no idea that he’s a wizard, much less actually control his magic back then. 

Magic. When he gets his letter from McGonnagal and he finds out he’s half-wizard, of all things, the strange incidents start making sense. During that meeting, his mom comes clean about knowing about his absent father’s magical heritage and explains everything to him. She and McGonnagal discuss more things and Percy hears something like Statue of Secrets being said over and over again; but by the end, McGonnagal invites him to attend Hogwarts – a school for kids with magical abilities like him. And he’s never been more excited to go to a school. 

When September 1 comes around and Percy realizes just how bloody freaking awesome wizarding school is, he’s determined to not get kicked out of Hogwarts. And if that means avoiding anything that remotely smells like trouble, he’ll do it. 

That all changes in second year, when he becomes Defense Against the Dark Arts partners with a Slytherin named Annabeth Chase. 

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emberglows  asked:

ADRIENETTE FOR THE MEME. GIGI PLEASE <3

@emberglows where you at?! I MISSED YOU! LESS THAN THREE

who gets sick more often: ahhhhh okay! I answered an ask with this one just right before this one! BUT ESSENTIALLY DUPAIN-CHENG FAMILY SMOTHERS YOU WITH TENDER, LOVE AND CARE WHEN ANYONE IS SICK AND NATALIE IS AN MVP WHO’S GOT COUGH DROPS IN HER PRADA BAG READY FOR ADRIEN SHOULD HE EVEN CHOKE ON AIR.

So growing up, not so sick. Later on…

Who’s the better caretaker:

When they move in together…they have no idea how to take care of another person much less themselves and make do by being miserable together with sniffly noses and they decide to weather out together.

fortunately, their network of friends and loved ones is expansive enough. Alya hears the scratchiness in Marinette’s voice over the phone. She rallies Nino and calls Sabine who promptly gets to work cooking a veritable feast of warm foods.

But Adrien and Marinette are heroes with martyr complexes the size of Paris and they literally barricade the front door with cushions and chairs…things light enough to move with their weak and trembling bodies wracked with the flu. 

“You can’t. We love you too much to expose you to do this.”

They forget that Alya and Nino literally have spare keys for the days when the couple go out to the country and need someone to cat sit for the weekend.

So the barricade is overcome and what was a sick day becomes a family dinner with Adrien and Marinette wrapped up in blankets and “quarantined” to the corner of the lumpy couch.

who is the most needy when they’re sick:

“I am a cat. Just chilling out. Because I literally am nothing without my lady.”

Adrien is. Plagg doesn’t just pick his Chat Noir based on who has admirable qualities or a steady source of cheese. He looks for cat like tendencies, tactile habits and steady gazes. Adrien is a cat. Nough said.

He curls up in Marinette’s lap, even as she tells him

“Let me go make you my mom’s famous “Beat-the-cold tea”.

And he pouts and whines and places his head on her lap, wrapping his arms around her waist to prevent her from getting up because she’s warm and he has chills.

Marinette laughs and places a kiss to his burning forehead and promptly rolls him off of her so she can help him feel better. Granted, she does pay extra attention to him when he’s sick, so he milks it for all his sickly worth. 

Adrien has to literally pay Plagg and Tikki their weight in cookies and cheese to keep them quiet.

who gets startled/worried every time the other sneezes:

Adrien once heard that your heart stops when you sneeze and that’s why we say “bless you.”

Needless to say, Marinette finds his constant “are you okay’s” during allergy season a point of endearment and annoyance.

who stocks the house with cold medicine and orange juice:

Alya does. (See coddled-to-the-point-of-ineptitude for more info)

who is more careful not to spread their illness and who doesn’t care:

They are both idiots with giant hero complexes and literally isolate themselves when they first move in together if one or the other gets sick. Unfortunately or not, living in such a small apartment does not allow for much sacrifice. There are literally five steps from Marinette’s pile of cushions on the couch to Adrien’s cave of blankets on the bed. 

They figure that both of them are bound to get sick anyways and suffer together after the first year.

This however does not extend to others. They refuse to infect other people. See barricade incident of 2021 for an example.

who gets cuddly when they’re feverish:

I AM A CAT. JUST CUDDLING OUT.

who tries to pretend they’re fine:

MARINETTE THE POOR BABY. The first time Adrien sees her sick, it’s because she’s worked herself to the bone for an upcoming deadline. Model work is tiring, but it’s done by the end of the day. Designing fashion is a lifestyle and when Marinette has a project, she can go well into the night when the stars have burned out and the moon is fading in a sky of slate gray.

She leaves the window open. Fresh air helps her concentrate. She’s not coughing, she just choked on water. She’s not shivering, she’s just nervous. She’s not feverish, she was just drying her hair. (She says this deliriously. Her hair isn’t wet. She hasn’t taken a shower.)

When she nearly faints at a fashion show debuting her new line, cue Adrien making a dramatic leap from catwalk to the where she stands, long legs cutting quite the image in dark pants and a chat noir inspired sweater.

At home, Adrien scolds her, even as she’s sniffling and burying her aching head into their feather pillows. (they indulge sometimes…just a little)

She still tries to fight it sometimes…but after those headlines, she gives in a little more easily when Adrien pulls her to bed, smooths back her hair, and presses reassurement to her lips as he tucks her in.

Not giving in makes this part all the more fun for her.

who tries weird/old-fashioned remedies:

adrien…OKAY HEAR ME OUT. HE’S NEVER HAD A CLOSE FAMILY. never had many traditions to call his own. So when he has chance and becomes part of the Dupain-Cheng family, he shows interest in Sabine’s remedies.

She smiles kindly, takes him by the hand and leads him to her perfectly organized pantry. 

The work begins and even when Marinette rolls her eyes a little at Adrien’s “try this mushroom, it will help with your stress”, she still drinks the remedy.

She will never admit it, but somehow Adrien’s concoctions work a little better than her mother’s.

It might be because of the magic healing kisses that follow such a remedy. 

anonymous asked:

What if Sennen was still around?

Today it was Godling first in through the door, his hand wrapped around Thief’s wrist and the other one holding his half of the spoils of their exploration. A veritable feast of bizarre alternate reality foods.

Sennen sat up on his bed with that smirk of his, the triumph in his eyes every time he saw the gift that was his two lovers and the gifts they brought with them. While Sennen was working at the club Godling often took Thief away with him, to spend a few hours exploring other worlds. They worked together as a well greased machine to see all the wonders that they could steal before returning home to Sennen. The man that was the grease, smooth charming Sennen who held them all together and stopped the two warring personalities of Thief and Godling from getting out of hand.

Now Sennen’s feet were buried under the strange breads Godling dropped, and Thief was proudly showing his bundles of roasted meats, still hot and sticky on the bone.

“My two breadwinners.” He purred with a laugh, opening his arms up for the two of them. Godling let of of Thief and fit himself perfectly in, closing his eyes for that second he always did, imprinting this memory into his brain along with all the others. “Anything to report?”

“I didn’t kill or maim anyone this time, even the Ishtar with tentacle legs that picked a fight with Thief.” Godling blurted out smugly, glancing over at Thief hoping to see the recognition in his eyes that Godling was still making the effort to be better. Thief rolled his eyes a little but he was clearly won over when he smiled back at him with a nod of agreement. Sennen gave him a congratulatory squeeze, and everything was perfect. Just perfect in the Bakura household.

ok so I,,, misplaced an ask in a series of unfortunate events but! I have fixed things! Five days after promised!! For @600ml​, hope it lives up to expectations :’)

NozoEli - #34 “You can put your cold feet on me.”

The first thing Russia greets Nozomi with is a small airborne blonde.

“Nozomi-chan!” Alisa dangles off Nozomi’s neck, giddy with the rush of seeing her again after an entire semester away. Nozomi laughs and, with a quick glance around for stray passersby first, spins Alisa in a circle that lifts her feet.

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Stagnating || Victor & Titan

Victor didn’t know what to do with himself, all these quiet moments the town seemed to be affording itself were so very… harmonious. The very thought made him wrinkle his nose. He was a being of chaos! And this place had been a  veritable feast for him, and now there was so little to enjoy in comparison. He’d huffed and stomped and moaned his way through Beacon and didn’t know what to do with himself. So he decided to inflict his foul mood on someone else. 

After all, it was partly Titan’s fault… In some way.

He teleported over to the residence he knew the other shared with Ethan, appeared on their couch and yelled. 

“I’M BOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!!!!!!”

Anatomical Gastronomy: An Outlander Kitchen Cookbook Review

Outlander Ktichen (@outlanderkitchen​) is a veritable feast for the anatomical senses! This delightful cookbook by trained chef and food writer, Theresa Carle-Sanders, will charm all five senses: sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch.

Pupils will dilate with pleasure as you behold the gorgeous photographs allowing you to visually sample delectable dishes inspired by Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander books. Who can resist the image of Rosamund’s Pulled Pork with Devil’s Apple BBQ Sauce? Yum! Even the typography used throughout the book is delightfully designed to awaken the senses.

Ear drums will vibrate as you hear yourself oooh and ahhh with pleasure over the variety of dishes designed to make your stomach grumble, from Mrs. FitzGibbons’s Overnight Parritch to Murtagh’s Gift to Ellen, cleverly presented in the form of Puff Pastry Boar Tusks, to Black Jack Randall’s Dark Chocolate Lavender Fudge (who knew BJR had a sweet tooth? Apparently, the only sweet trait he possesses!).

Taste buds will rock and roll once your dishes have been prepared and you take that first bite of Jocasta’s Auld Country Bannocks or Jem’s Bread Pudding with Maple Butterscotch Sauce. Your mouth will feel satiated with your stunning successes because Theresa’s expertise leads you through the basics of a Mrs. FitzGibbon’s worthy kitchen with informational tutorials and thoughtfully written recipes throughout.

Oh! And the smells! The olfactory system will go into overdrive as you catch a whiff of Pheasant and Greens at Ardsmuir glazed in “a sweet, luscious sauce of orange and apricot…” You can’t help but sniff deeply over Lord John’s Upside-Down Plum Cake as you pull it steaming from the oven. Your nostrils will flare with Sarah Woolam’s Scotch Pies as fragrant beef, onion, pepper and nutmeg hit your olfactory receptors.

And finally, wait until your fingers feel Roger and Bree’s Pizza; you just know as you pick up the first slice that the crust will be crispy and the inside chewy. Mayhap you’ll hesitate as your lips touch the rim of your glass with The Comte St. Germain’s Poison but you can’t resist the elderflower liqueur and lime twist. And, Brianna’s Bridies, with their flaky pastry and hand-pie size, will fit perfectly in your palm.

While I’ve focused on a few of the anatomical benefits of this cookbook, there are so many more treasures inside including Diana Gabaldon’s wonderfully humorous forward that begins with “Food disappears all the time…!” Hah! Throughout are passages from Outlander books, historical references, and clever adaptations of traditional recipes for today’s discriminating palate.

Give yourself a full-body, anatomical experience with this fabulous cookbook!

A deeply grateful,

Outlander Anatomist

Scales

Sorry for the delay!

Not proofed again…

Part I

Part II

It took a little under a day to get home, as hauling the weapons back slowed them down a great deal. Unfortunately, the time did not pass quickly - after all of Meg’s words, both of them were hesitant to speak and mostly kept their eyes to the ground.

At last, when they arrived home, a very tired Castiel immediately set about preparing for bed. Just before climbing in, though, he looked at the small bag of tea he’d been given.

Hm.

Should he take it? I mean, if it helped him deal with the humidity, that would be a godsend, and even if it didn’t no harm done.

Unless it’s poisoned.

No, no, that wouldn’t make any sense. Meg wouldn’t poison the prince’s spouse, the symbol of peace between Angels and Nagas. That would be unfathomably stupid.

So it can’t be harmful. That means the worst it could do would be nothing at all.

Or taste awful.

Castiel shrugged and sprinkled the contents into a cup of hot water to sit.

It didn’t smell awful.

The Angel took a tentative sip, smacking his lips in thought.

It didn’t taste good, but it didn’t taste bad, either. It was mostly weird - with very strange undertones. Not completely unpleasant, but not the worst tea he’d ever had. After putting some honey in it, it actually wasn’t too bad. He finished the cup and set it down, moving to crawl into bed.

It turned out drinking it before bed was a good idea, as it made him incredibly drowsy, so he fell asleep mere minutes after hitting the pillow.

Now, you know that feeling? The one you get when you’re asleep and you start feeling cold, and you realize that your feet aren’t covered by the blankets? That’s the unpleasant feeling Castiel woke up to, sometime in the middle of the night, he didn’t know quite when. 

Not that the climate around him was cold per se, but it wasn’t the temperature he liked, properly snuggled underneath a blanket of just the right thickness. It was uncomfortable. Hell, it almost felt like the blanket had bunched up, or his legs were dangling off the bed, that’s how much of him was chilled.

Not to mention it felt like someone had stabbed his stomach.

Castiel groaned, and tried to pull his feet back under the sheet, while also trying to pull it down to cover him, but for some reason his feet felt so sluggish and heavy. He tried again to move them, after all, maybe they’d just gone to sleep, when he had a sudden, horrifying revelation.

He couldn’t move his legs. At all. And everything felt wrong.

The Angel gasped as he opened his eyes to see what the matter was, only to feel almost immediately dizzy. Everything looked off, all the depth was wrong, it was as if everything was both closer and farther at the same time, as if he was seeing double vision, except there was still only one. The fires in the fireplace… they didn’t look brighter, but they looked… they looked hot. He didn’t know how to explain it, but he could tell by looking at them how hot they were. He could smell the heat off of them, it was so strange.

It was that damn tea, it must have been. Maybe it had something in it that made Angels trip out or something, Castiel didn’t know, he just knew he felt awful.

But it wasn’t until he looked down at his strangely heavy and immobile legs that his heart stopped in his chest.

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What Not To Fear - Paul & Alejandro

@silverxsmith

Alejandro’s first trip to the colonies was done mostly out of curiosity.  A new world to explore…new nightmares to experience…it was a fascination to him.  Usually the pesanta preferred to enmesh himself in the past…but for the first time since the Renaissance he felt like something new and exciting was happening - one worth taking note of.

True - the place was hardly as civilized…but Alejandro found he liked the wildness of this new world - and the promises that it held.  And then came the wars.  So many.  Each battle a veritable feast…without the need to slip into people’s personal and private dreams.  Yes…war was a horror, but when given the choice between digging into someone’s mind or feeding off of the fear a battlefield wrought, he’d take the battle any day.  It wasn’t that he didn’t feel for those who fought and died…but getting too attached to the humans and the wars they waged…it only ever caused him pain in the end.  Better to keep himself distant.

After the French and Indian Wars were through, he decided to linger.  The natives of this new world intrigued him - made the pesanta long for simpler times…times when he would’ve been honored for his abilities rather than feared.  He moved in and out of colonial society - sometimes through the towns, sometimes with the tribes.  It was pure chance that he happened to be in Boston when the unrest began.  He could sense it even then…the stirrings of a war yet to be.  Maybe the others could, too…maybe not.  But since he had nowhere else to be, the pesanta stuck around.

He watched as the British army overtook the town, and the fear which had only been a soft rumbling amongst the people became palpable.  The public whipping of a potentially innocent man, the riot which left five colonists dead in the street…and things only got worse from there.  So he stayed…and from a distance Alejandro fed.  Occasionally he would step in and intervene…small things here and there…acts of kindness to counteract some of the cruelty he witnessed.  A monster he might be, but heartless he was not.

He still kept mostly to himself; it was always better to not draw attention, but that didn’t mean he didn’t wander the streets now and then…hover himself around areas that seemed to breed the most trouble.  And today was no different…although perhaps it should’ve been.  The battle that had taken place…Bunker Hill…Breed’s Hill…it had changed everything - for better or worse the pesanta couldn’t be sure.  Curiosity,  more than anything, had him wandering the streets.  So many fears…so many nightmares…and things had barely begun.

There are 12 things one should know about the Avengers Calendar.


1.  Natasha and Wanda were the only ones who did not pose practically in the nude.  In fairness, this came about when the nude thing wasn’t even thought of and there was a concept of the two women representing Janos, the Roman god of beginnings and endings.

The idea aimed high but the execution was exquisite.

In the end, the two women were in beautifully tailored suits, looking powerful, dangerous and sexy. 

“God damn,” was Steve’s reverent reaction. 

Natasha winked.  “Your boyfriend might end up getting jealous there, Rogers.”

“His boyfriend is drooling right beside him,” said Bucky with his best charming grin.

Wanda laughed.

2.  There were two things that people needed to know about Scott Lang and February.  One - that was a REALLY big Ant that had to be strategically positioned around his swimsuit area.  Two - Yep, that is still a REALLY big Ant and no, Tony, you can’t bring one home for yourself. 

3.  The photographer had worked some major magic to capture Pietro at full speed, as it were.   However, little sisters were highly effective at making sure their older by a couple minutes brothers didn’t get an overinflated ego from the all the naked preening going on.  The look that everyone mistook for heroic intensity on Pietro’s face for the final product was him trying not to laugh when Wanda took a Sokovian saint’s name in vain and swore up and down she was going blind from the “horrifying” sight, off camera.  

4.  Vision, of course, had the knowledge to understand all the hilarity behind this whole Naked Calendar idea.  He also had JARVIS’ puckish sense of humor and thus dryly remarked that he was “well-equipped” to deal with such things.

He really was - from side A to side B. 

Tony whimpered that there were some things one could not unsee.  Ever. 

5.  The whole Naked Calendar idea should be properly laid at Clint’s door.  The month of May would never be the same ever since it would be graced by Hawkeye’s well-shaped backside.   Also, Clint misplaced his bag with his actual clothes in it and spent a couple of hours trying to hunt it down because it was probably a bad idea to be arrested for public indecency for riding on the subway without any clothes on.

“Aw, clothes.”

6.  It is a matter of legend that Bucky Barnes will write Odes to Steve Rogers’ Ass at the slightest provocation.  What the world didn’t know was that Steve was as equally eloquent when it came to Bucky’s own… assets. 

It made for an interesting photoshoot. 

Also, it must be said that there still some elements of old time slang that Steve and Bucky really needed to be updated on. 

After the umpteenth time that Bucky was distracted by a happily ogling Steve, Steve had the good grace to apologize.

“Sorry about that.  My boner.”

“Aw, baby, it’s my boner too, getting all distracted by you looking at me all sweet and everything.”

“Can we please not talk about the boners of the two grumpy old men?” Tony begged.

“I thought you’d finally made a breakthrough with the Brain Bleach™!” Clint complained. 

The super soldiers blinked in confusion. 

Sam, of course, was kind enough to enlighten them.  “Guys, you keep using that word. It no longer means what you think it means.”

7.  Of course, Steve Rogers was going to be Mr. July. 

Of course, because the two Grumpy Old Men™ were also Grand High Trolls, they would take the boner jokes to a whole new level now that they understood that the word now meant something else other than what they’d grown up with.

“GAH! STOP! I DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT YOUR BONER, BARNES!”

“Well, Stark Jr., a man can’t help it when his fella’s laid out in front of him like a veritable feast for the eyes.   Although I guess that shield could stand to cover you a little bit more, Rogers.  Some things should be for my eyes only." 

Steve, that little shit, only tries to pose even more provocatively. 

Things were a little… exciting in the Rogers-Barnes household later on that night, once the boys were (thankfully!) hidden away from the public eye. 

8.  Wings plus the fact that Sam Wilson also looked pretty damn good with less clothes prompted various commentary such as:

"Oh Lord, take me to heaven now.”

Also, Sam might have finally made some headway with that cute lady that he’d had a crush on for ages…. who also happened to be the photographer for this particular shoot. 

Their first date was unforgettable and definitely promised more dates in future. 

9.  Bruce was not supposed to be on the calendar.  He was polite about declining it too. 

However, the Hulk wanted to join in the fun and thus, he appeared for September. 

He looked pretty good too.

10.  Rhodey said he was perfectly willing to class this calendar up and so he brought the big guns of War Machine…. because jokes about needing big guns to cover up the…. big guns were inevitable. 

“YOU ARE NO LONGER MY BESTIE RHODEY SNOOKUMS." 

"I can’t help what nature gave me, Tones.  Also, who was it who gave you the Kiss of True Love™ during the Frog Thing?”

“Marry me?”

“Nah, I fear the wrath of Pepper.”

11.  Thor was perfectly willing to display all his glory as he found all this Midgardian prudishness ridiculous and laughable.  However, after a quiet conversation with a blushing Jane, Thor was happy to situate Mjolnir strategically and thus it was that November was one of the most popular months in the calendar.

12.  Tony was perfectly happy to pose for all 12 months but alas, the Stark Assets were to be confined to the month of December only.  He chose some strategical pieces of the Iron Man armor and was dissuaded from posing on the giant donut at his favorite donut place.  They did reach a compromise as to the appropriate backdrop and the photoshoot was successful. 

And then Bucky looked him up and down and remarked, “Reminds me of the time I saw your old man buck naked.  Very, very, VERY nice.”

“What.”

“Skinny dipping.  Lake somewhere in Germany.  Howie had a pretty good tan going too.”

“Howie?”

“Now, now, Buck, don’t break Tony,” Steve chided.

“HOWIE?!!”

It was too late though.

— 

The Avengers Nekkid Calendar, a Blanket Fort Headcanon based on this post.

I ended up writing it @greenbergsays - I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY.

Finals and Food

for @smokesforsterek because she’s done with finals! and requested Derek cooking for Stiles and them watching Deadpool I almost followed her directions…and then this happened :D

Stiles is dead on his feet. Five finals, three presentations and two final papers over the course of four days and Stiles is dead fucking tired. As he stumbles up the stairs to his and Derek’s apartment he both curses his final night class and rejoices that it’s over. Forever.

He wants nothing more than to crash and he doesn’t even care where he lands at this point. The couch, the floor with a pillow, against Derek’s strong perfect back wherever Stiles finds him. He just wants to close his eyes and let his brain rest.

He fumbles his keys pulling them out of his pocket and he sighs deeply as he bends over to pick them up off the floor and finds the one for his door. The floor outside the door looks so incredibly inviting he has to shake himself slightly to actually put the key in the lock, turn it and let himself in.

Opening the door and walking in Stiles’ senses are assaulted; smells from the kitchen are wafting towards him, every light is on and he squints his tired eyes against the brightness. Soft jazz is playing over the speakers in the apartment and Stiles quirks a tired smile as he locks the door behind him and shuffles towards the kitchen.

It’s a mess.

Keep reading

imagining the 4th
  • Jack and Bitty took the truck out right at dusk after a veritable feast by Suzanne and Eric.
  • Jack and Coach had a lowkey sweet tea drinking contest during dinner.
    • Coach won (only because Jack was watching his diet, of course)
  • Suzanne plied them with pillows and blankets because there might be a breeze, dear.
    • It was a sticky 82°F 28°C.
  • Bits, bless his heart, packed a dessert picnic. Watermelon from the fridge. More carafes of sweet tea (sorry I can’t drink anymore of that tonight, Bitty). 
    • (Remember that diet? It disappeared when Bitty revealed the summer berry pie topped with fresh whipped cream–because ‘murica!)
  • The first thing Jack and Bitty did after they spread out the pillows and blankets in the truck bed wasn’t actually cuddling.
  • Because then the fireflies came out.
  • And…they were like little hovering stars in that secluded field surrounded by trees. 
  • So Bitty and Jack chased after those stars, and at one point, there was almost a cloud of fireflies that Bitty walked into.
  • Thanks goodness Jack brought his fancy camera because. Well. 
  • In that photo, Bitty’s eyes are squinting in laughter, and the fireflies surrounding his head look like a halo.
    • Halo.
  • And after Jack lowers the camera, he lets himself really look at Eric, and he’s overwhelmed with the simple joy he feels in that moment.
  • Eric looks over at the same time and feels a magnetic pull towards Jack.
  • They meet in the middle.
  • Fireflies are blinking and hovering around their heads.
  • When they finally kiss, the first of the fireworks shoot off into the sky.