i don’t think that people understand that when i say “i miss my childhood,” i don’t mean softly going over memories and fondly smiling and sighing over a time gone past. no. that’s not at all what i mean. i mean a demonic ache in the deepest reaches of my soul. an ache of sorrow, of sadness, of anger, of depression, of melancholy. it eats me up every day and it’s the worst kind of emotional torture to be put through, to cry night after night over the state of absolute euphoria, of real happiness, of purity and joy taken away. it’s the most terrible emotion to have. i actively crave that euphoric, joyous feeling every moment of my life where i am conscious and it hurts more and more every second.
[absolutely no cgl, ddlg, mdlb, terf, radfem, or nsfw interaction. this is a personal post that’s okay to reblog- but reblogging onto a porn blog is absolutely insensitive.]