this is a small world we live in

Bex Taylor does NOT ship sheith. She’s said it before but you guys only read the one post on her blog. It was a joke guys, like she was trying to be funny. Everyone does it once in a while, it’s normal. Here I’ll do it, boku no pico is the best anime. Cory in the house is my number two. See a joke funny right… no? Well I can agree. Let people live their life and let’s not spread hate. We live in a cruel world as is already so let’s take some of the small things in life and enjoy it while were still alive. Would you rather be happy or spend your life spreading hate. Idk what you chose but we can only hope for the first. Let’s make volton great again! To soon? Sorry. (Reblog to end hate on Bex and voltron discourse (or atleast try (I can’t predict the future))). Have a good morning, afternoon, or night and have an amazing day no matter who you are.

Shit my wife has said to our cat:

-You are the cause of all entropy.

-I don’t know how, but I’m going to blame you for all my problems.

-Life on this earth is brief.

-What do you think about the plight of the Jewish people, Miss Kitty?

-You have to ask yourself, Miss Kitty, would your rather be comforted by a lie or strengthened by the truth?

-You occupy a very small space in a very large world, but your conscience is ever the umbrella. You also have a cute kitty butt.

- (after the cat ate a ribbon and threw it up) You wanted to be beautiful on the inside, didn’t you?

-You understand that life is meaningless and we must take pleasure where we can. And for you that is on this blue blanket.

-I will fight you in hell upon a mound of bones, Miss Kitty.

-You are a single bead in the string of lives that I hold together.

-You can get used to a certain kind of poison, Miss Kitty

-Sometimes that little light escapes the darkness of your heart, and then you cage it again.

- I… am SO PROUD to have a cat that would murder her children.

       -(justifying it) Come on! She’d be a terrible mother!

- We can’t be equals until you get a job, you goddamn freeloader.

- You and your eight nipples are shit.

- You have just enough common sense to not piss on your tail, Miss Kitty.

Avatar Aang, Feminist Icon?

“Who’s your favorite character?” I hear that question come up a lot over Avatar: The Last Airbender, a show particularly near and dear to me. Iroh and Toph get tossed around a lot. Zuko is very popular. Sokka has his fans. But something I’ve noticed? Aang very rarely gets the pick. When he comes up, it’s usually in that “Oh, and also…” kind of way. Which is strange, I think, considering he’s the main character, the titular airbender, of the entire show.

I never really thought much about it until a couple weeks ago when I finished my annual re-watch of the series and found myself, for the first time, specifically focused on Aang’s arc. Somehow, I never really paid that much attention to him before. I mean sure, he’s front and center in most episodes, fighting or practicing or learning big spiritual secrets, and yet, he always feels a little overshadowed. Katara takes care of the group. Sokka makes the plans. Zuko has the big, heroic Joseph Campbell journey. Aang…goofs around. He listens and follows and plays with Momo. And yes, at the end his story gets bigger and louder, but even then I feel like a lot of it dodges the spotlight. And here’s why:

Avatar casts the least traditionally-masculine hero you could possibly write as the star of a fantasy war story. Because of that, we don’t see Aang naturally for everything he is, so we look elsewhere.

To show what I mean, I want to talk about some of the show’s other characters, and I want to start with Zuko. Zuko is the hero we’re looking for. He’s tall and hot and complicated. He perseveres in the face of constant setbacks. He uses two swords and shoots fire out of his hands. He trains with a wise old man on ship decks and mountaintops. Occasionally he yells at the sky. He’s got the whole 180-degree moral turn beat for beat, right down to the scars and the sins-of-the-father confrontation scene. And if you were going into battle, some epic affair with battalions of armor-clad infantry, Zuko is the man you’d want leading the charge, Aragorn style. We love Zuko. Because Zuko does what he’s supposed to do.

Now let’s look at Katara. Katara doesn’t do what she’s supposed to do. She doesn’t care about your traditionally gender dynamics because she’s too busy fighting pirates and firebenders, planning military operations with the highest ranking generals in the Earth Kingdom, and dismantling the entire patriarchal structure of the Northern Water Tribe. Somewhere in her spare time she also manages to become one of the greatest waterbenders in the world, train the Avatar, defeat the princess of the Fire Nation in the middle of Sozin’s Comet and take care of the entire rest of the cast for an entire year living in tents and caves. Katara is a badass, and we love that.

So what about Aang? When we meet Aang, he is twelve years old. He is small and his voice hasn’t changed yet. His hobbies include dancing, baking and braiding necklaces with pink flowers. He loves animals. He doesn’t eat meat. He despises violence and spends nine tenths of every fight ducking and dodging. His only “weapon” is a blunt staff, used more for recreation than combat. Through the show, Aang receives most of his training from two young women – Katara and Toph – whom he gives absolute respect, even to the point of reverence. When he questions their instruction, it comes from a place of discomfort or anxiety, never superiority. He defers to women, young women, in matters of strategy and combat. Then he makes a joke at his own expense and goes off to feed his pet lemur.

Now there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this, and it’s the one that shielded Aang from the heroic limelight in my eyes for ten years. The reasoning goes like this: Aang is a child. He has no presumptuous authority complex, no masculinity anxiety, no self-consciousness about his preferred pastimes, because he’s twelve. He’s still the hero, but he’s the prepubescent hero, the hero who can’t lead the charge himself because he’s just not old enough. The problem is, that reasoning just doesn’t hold up when you look at him in the context of the rest of the show.

Let’s look at Azula. Aside from the Avatar himself, Zuko’s sister is arguably the strongest bender in the entire show. We could debate Toph and Ozai all day, but when you look at all Azula does, the evidence is pretty damning. Let’s make a list, shall we?

Azula completely mastered lightning, the highest level firebending technique, in her spare time on a boat, under the instruction of two old women who can’t even bend.

Azula led the drill assault on Ba Sing Sae, one of the most important Fire Nation operations of the entire war, and almost succeeded in conquering the whole Earth Kingdom.

Azula then bested the Kyoshi Warriors, one of the strongest non-bender fighting groups in the entire world, successfully infiltrated the Earth Kingdom in disguise, befriended its monarch, learned of the enemy’s most secret operation, emotionally manipulated her older brother, overthrew the captain of the secret police and did conquer the Earth Kingdom, something three Fire Lords, numerous technological monstrosities, and countless generals, including her uncle, failed to do in a century.

And she did this all when she was fourteen.

That last part is easy to forget. Azula seems so much her brother’s peer, we forget she’s the same age as Katara. And that means that when we first meet Azula, she’s only a year older than Aang is at the end of the series. So to dismiss Aang’s autonomy, maturity or capability because of his age is ridiculous, understanding that he and Azula could have been in the same preschool class.

We must then accept Aang for what he truly is: the hero of the story, the leader of the charge, who repeatedly displays restraint and meekness, not because of his age, not because of his upbringing, not because of some character flaw, but because he chooses too. We clamor for strong female characters, and for excellent reason. But nobody every calls for more weak male characters. Not weak in a negative sense, but weak in a sense that he listens when heroes talk. He negotiates when heroes fight. And when heroes are sharpening their blades, planning their strategies and stringing along their hetero love interests, Aang is making jewelry, feeding Appa, and wearing that flower crown he got from a travelling band of hippies. If all Aang’s hobbies and habits were transposed onto Toph or Katara, we’d see it as a weakening of their characters. But with Aang it’s cute, because he’s a child. Only it isn’t, because he’s not.

Even in his relationship with Katara, a landmark piece of any traditional protagonist’s identity, Aang defies expectations. From the moment he wakes up in episode one, he is infatuated with the young woman who would become his oldest teacher and closest friend. Throughout season one we see many examples of his puppy love expressing itself, usually to no avail. But there’s one episode in particular that I always thought a little odd, and that’s Jet.

In Jet, Katara has an infatuation of her own. The titular vigilante outlaw sweeps her off her feet, literally, with his stunning hair, his masterful swordsmanship and his apparent selflessness. You’d think this would elicit some kind of jealousy from Aang. There’s no way he’s ignorant of what’s happening, as Sokka sarcastically refers to Jet as Katara’s boyfriend directly in Aang’s presence, and she doesn’t even dispute it. But even then, we never see any kind of rivalry manifest in Aang. Rather, he seems in full support of it. He repeatedly praises Jet, impressed by his leadership and carefree attitude. Despite his overwhelming affection for Katara, he evaluates both her and Jet on their own merits as people. There is no sense of ownership or macho competition.

Contrast this with Zuko’s reaction to a similar scenario in season three’s The Beach. Zuko goes to a party with his girlfriend, and at that party he sees her talking to another guy. His reaction? Throwing the challenger into the wall, shattering a vase, yelling at Mai, and storming out. This may seem a little extreme, but it’s also what we’d expect to an extent. Zuko is being challenged. He feels threatened in his station as a man, and he responds physically, asserting his strength and dominance as best he can.

I could go on and on. I could talk about how the first time Aang trains with a dedicated waterbending master, he tries to quit because of sexist double standards, only changing his mind after Katara’s urging. I could talk about how Aang is cast as a woman in the Fire Nation’s propaganda theatre piece bashing him and his friends. Because in a patriarchal society, the worst thing a man can be is feminine. I could talk about the only times Aang causes any kind of real destruction in the Avatar state, it’s not even him, since he doesn’t gain control of the skill until the show’s closing moments. Every time he is powerless in his own power and guilt-ridden right after, until the very end when he finally gains control, and what does he do with all that potential? He raises the rivers, and puts the fires out.

Aang isn’t what he’s supposed to be. He rejects every masculine expectation placed on his role, and in doing so he dodges center stage of his own show. It’s shocking to think about how many times I just forgot about Aang. Even at the end, when his voice has dropped and his abs have filled in, we miss it. Zuko’s coronation comes and we cheer with the crowd, psyched to see our hero crowned. Then the Fire Lord shakes his head, gestures behind him and declares “the real hero is the Avatar.” It’s like he’s talking to us. “Don’t you get it?” he asks. “Did you miss it? This is his story. But you forgot that. Because he was small. And silly. And he hated fighting. And he loved to dance. Look at him,” Zuko seems to say. “He’s your hero. Avatar Aang, defier of gender norms, champion of self-identity, feminist icon.”

I know it’s hard right now - but continue to look for the small moments of good in this world. We will need it to survive.

Writing Science Fiction: Tips for Beginners

We’ve seen a lot of science fiction stories over the past year or so. It’s not like they sci-fi ever went out of style, but it seems to be gaining popularity recently.

For some, writing science fiction might seem like a daunting genre to break into. Do you need to know complex mathematical equations? Do you need to know exactly how space travel works? Did you need to major in astrophysics?

Sure, those things don’t hurt, but they’re absolutely not necessary. You can write a great sci-fi novel without years of research. And you can tell a really interesting story, even if you’re not a science pro.

Here are a few tips to get started:

Consider ‘What-if’ Scenarios

This isn’t just a great rule for sci-fi novels, but I think the best ones use this approach. Start off with a simple what-if scenario. For example: what if we lived on a world made of ice? What if in this particular world only consisted of women? Obviously, you’ll need to expand on those scenarios and spend time really developing what those caveats would mean, but you get the idea.

Start with a small what-if scenario and brainstorm!

Figure Out Your Rules

I don’t think writing great sci-fi depends on being 100% scientifically accurate ALL THE TIME, but I do think you need to stick to your own rules. Whatever is a hard rule for your own universe, it’s important to keep it that way. Does your world have ships that can travel quickly from planet to planet? Sure, that’s great! Figure out your own rules for space travel and develop your world. How do the inhabitants on one planet act/grow/eat/interact compared to the inhabitants of another? Spend time developing these ideas!

No Info Dumps!

Sometimes when people write science fiction, they tend to explain their universe all in one big info-dump. Don’t. This is boring and it does nothing to serve your story. Slowly reveal information. Every plot point in your story should serve a purpose. Develop your characters through the action and show off your worlds through them. Get creative.

Keep it Vague

If you’re unsure about the science of something, write to your strengths. Don’t understand how space travel works? Maybe your MC is put to sleep during a long trip. This is just one example, but try to figure out a way to make it work for you. Maybe avoid space travel altogether if it doesn’t serve your story.

Listen, this isn’t a substitute for research, but I also don’t want you to avoid writing science fiction if you just don’t get a lot of the concepts involved. If you’ve got a great idea for a story, work it out to fit your style. Science fiction is a great platform for unique and compelling character studies, so don’t get scared off! You don’t have to write hard science fiction in order to write a good novel.

-Kris Noel

The signs as beautiful poems

Aries:

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Taurus:

She dwelt among the untrodden ways
          Beside the springs of Dove;
A Maid whom there were none to praise,
          And very few to love:
A violet by a mossy stone
          Half-hidden from the eye!
—Fair as a star, when only one
          Is shining in the sky.
She lived unknown, and few could know
          When Lucy ceased to be;
But she is in her grave, and, oh,
          The difference to me!

Gemini:

If a person can laugh at himself
for any foolishness, they have done.
That person is a happy person
who can always laugh with the world.
The laughter can be infectious
and then more will laugh along with them.
The more the smiles are raised
happier our lives will become
and safer our world will be. 


cancer:

The rose is a rose,
And was always a rose.
But the theory now goes
That the apple’s a rose,
And the pear is, and so’s
The plum, I suppose.
The dear only knows
What will next prove a rose.
You, of course, are a rose -
But were always a rose. 

Leo:

I died for beauty, but was scarce
Adjusted in the tomb,
When one who died for truth was lain
In an adjoining room.

He questioned softly why I failed?
“For beauty,” I replied.
“And I for truth - the two are one;
We brethren are,” he said.

And so, as kinsmen met a-night,
We talked between the rooms,
Until the moss had reached our lips,
And covered up our names. 

Virgo:

I took my Power in my Hand—
And went against the World—
‘Twas not so much as David—had—
But I—was twice as bold—

I aimed by Pebble—but Myself
Was all the one that fell—
Was it Goliath—was too large—
Or was myself—too small? 

Libra:

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

Scorpio: 

A slumber did my spirit seal;

I had no human fears:

She seemed a thing that could not feel

The touch of earthly years.


No motion has she now, no force;

She neither hears nor sees;

Rolled round in earth’s diurnal course,

With rocks, and stones, and trees.

Sagittarius:

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

Capricorn:

'Tis a strange mystery, the power of words!
Life is in them, and death. A word can send
The crimson colour hurrying to the cheek.
Hurrying with many meanings; or can turn
The current cold and deadly to the heart.
Anger and fear are in them; grief and joy
Are on their sound; yet slight, impalpable:–
A word is but a breath of passing air.

Aquarius:

Lo! in the painted oriel of the West,
Whose panes the sunken sun incarnadines,
Like a fair lady at her casement, shines
The evening star, the star of love and rest!
And then anon she doth herself divest
Of all her radiant garments, and reclines
Behind the sombre screen of yonder pines,
With slumber and soft dreams of love oppressed.
O my beloved, my sweet Hesperus!
My morning and my evening star of love!
My best and gentlest lady! even thus,
As that fair planet in the sky above,
Dost thou retire unto thy rest at night,
And from thy darkened window fades the light. 

Pisces: 

In visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed-
But a waking dream of life and light
Hath left me broken-hearted.

Ah! what is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?

That holy dream- that holy dream,
While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
A lonely spirit guiding.

What though that light, thro’ storm and night,
So trembled from afar-
What could there be more purely bright
In Truth’s day-star? 

MBTI and F. Scott Fitzgerald quotes

ISFP:
- There are all types of love in this world but never the same love twice
- Her philosophy is carpe diem for herself and laissez-faire for others

ESFP:
- Personality is an unbroken series of sucessful gestures
- It was only a sunny smile, and little it costs in the giving, but like morning light scattered the night and made the day worth living

ISTP:
- The world only exists in your eyes. You can make it as big or as small as you want
- So we’ll just let things take their course, and never be sorry

ESTP:
- I don’t want just words. If that’s all you have for me, you’d better go
- It was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life

ISFJ:
- It’s not a slam at you when people are rude. It’s a slam at the people they’ve met before
- I don’t ask you to love me always like this, but I want you to remember. Somewhere inside of me there will always be the person I am tonight

ESFJ:
- I wish I have done everything on earth with you
- Things are sweeter when they’re lost, I know because I wanted something and got it. It was the only thing I ever wanted, and when I got it, it turned to dust in my hand

ISTJ:
- Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss
- I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you find the strength to start all over again

ESTJ:
- There are only the pursued, pursuing, the busy and the tired
- The loniest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly

INFP:
- A woman should be able to kiss a man beautifully and romantically without any desire to be either his wife or his mistress
- And in the end, we were only humans… drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness

ENFP:
- For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be
- Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall

INTP:
- Everybody’s youth is a dream, a form of chemical madness
- The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function

ENTP:
- It’s funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, even smells the same. You realize what’s changed is you
- Live the full life of mind, exhilarated by new ideas, intoxicated by the romance of unusual

INFJ:
- Life is essentially a cheat and its conditions are those of defeat: the redeeming things are not happiness and pleasure, but the deep satisfactions that come out of struggle
- I’m a romantic: a sentimental person thinks things will last, a romantic person hopes against hope that they won’t

ENFJ:
- You are the finest, loveliest, tanderest and most beautiful person I have ever known - and even that is an understandment
- There’s something between us; a sort of pull. Something you always do to me and I to you

INTJ:
- Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before
- Why don’t you tell me that “if the girl had been worth having she’d have waited for you?” No, sir. The girl really worth having won’t wait for anybody

ENTJ:
- Genious is the ability to put into effect what is in your mind
- Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life

Happy National Book Day

Lyrics written by Namjoon

Because he didn’t only write “I’mma beat that p*ssy like you never ever felt before”

-“Having tight schedules Even tough i’m tired,I smile
Cause in a family called bangtan i’m a not an only child”
-Unpack Your Bags

-”I can be assigned to many places,
But why can’t I find the real me anywhere?”-
So 4 More

-”I don’t know whether I’ve lost the way
or whether from the beginning I was lost
even when I’m with someone, one corner of my heart is lonely”
-Adrift

-”This sea is too deep
Still, I’m lucky
Because even if I cry, no one would know”
-Whalien 52

-“Never be late to do what you wanna do right now
Because at one point of someday,
Everything you did
Would be exactly what you will be” -
O,RUL8,2?

-”Thank you for letting me be me
For helping me fly
For giving me wings
For straightening me out
For waking me from being suffocated
For waking me from a dream which was all I was living in" -SAVE ME

-”I just wanted to succeed
the words I tediously heard from others were only that
I thought I could catch the mirage known as happiness
but the me in front of my desk wasn’t happy even for a moment
Without my mom knowing, I put a sheet of white paper between the pages of my workbook
My identity that I wrote down matched to the drum and bass”
-Voice

-“The grown-ups confess
That we have it so easy
They say that we are happier than our portion
Then how do you explain my unhappiness?
There’s no conversation topics beside studying
Outside, there are so many kids like me,
Living the life of a puppet
Who will take responsibility?”
-N.O

-”Life isn’t about living along but living through
As you live through, you’ll disappear some day
If you keep spacing out, you’ll be swept away,
if you ain’t no got the guts, trust”
-Tomorrow 

-”I empty my drink but it gets filled with loneliness […]
All I did was color you in my white, blank paper
But then I realized, it already became a finished picture”
-Hold me tight

-”Hey you, who’s looking over the Han River
If we bump into each other while passing, would it be fate?
Or maybe we bumped into each other in our past life
Maybe we bumped into each other countless times”
-Reflection

-”My mother said the sea is blue
She said to let out your voice as far as you can
But what to do, it’s so dark and there are only different whales
speaking entirely different words”
-Whalien 52

-”The media and adults say we don’t have willpower
condemning us like stocks
Why are they killing us before we can even try
Why are you hanging your head and accepting it already?” -Dope

-”Life is more beautiful knowing that we’ve taken a loan on death
Even light is treasured more when there’s darkness
The sunshine appears after we’ve passed through the storm”
-Life

-”Let’s be happy, let’s be happy
Even if we live with these heavy words in our mouths every day
To be honest, I still don’t know
Why am I often lonely”
-Adrift

-“I’m living to understand the world, 
But why hasn’t this world tried to understand me”
-Always

-”Back then I thought this was a big place
But my ambition grew too big
That big house became too small now”
-Move

-“In the darkness,
People look happier than the day
Everyone else knows where they’re supposed to be
But only I walk without purpose”
-Reflection

-”Outside was a whole battlefield so I bring out the chopper
Every night inside me I quietly fight with myself
My heart pounds, my colleagues stab me in the back
While saying that I became a moron after joining a company”
-Awakening

-”It’s just one life
Who are you living for?
My heart stopped when I was nine or ten
Put your hand on your heart
and ask what you dream was
What is really was”
-O,RUL8,2?  

*This was Sarah for you daily Namnam appreciation

(cred to Lynn and papercrowns!)

 before i say anything else about all my thoughts and feelings on 210…

I LOVE THAT NICOLE IS MARRIED

yes, it’s something to be talked about big time between wayhaught. yes, it’s a big ‘ol ugly secret. not technically a lie but sins of omission.. yeah yeah yeah it is what it is.

But seriously, this is something I have never witnessed be addressed in lgbt rep. It’s something I never expected to see. And it’s so personal to me.

Personal story time literally nobody asked for: I got married shortly after the repeal of DADT in Washington DC at the ripe old age of almost 20. I was young, dumb, and in the military. I was also extremely aware of the history, the battles that lead to small political victories. A lot of us were. And a lot of us did get married simply because we finally could. It was a huge deal then - not too fucking long ago.

Same thing but on a much larger scale throughout the US: after the US Supreme Court “ruled” on the federal legalization of gay marriage, a literal fuck ton of us got married just out of the sheer euphoria at the fact that we could. It was monumental for us to have this right. So, some of us (a lot of us) jumped straight (lol) for it.

Did that mean a lot of young people getting married before they were in anyway ready for marriage? yeah, big time. 

I am one of those people who is still technically married just because divorce takes time. It takes a ton of time, a decent amount of money, and a significant (excruciating) toll on a twenty-something-year-old’s heart and mind.  

So allow me, if you will, to paint you a picture. You’ve been watching the politics play out the entirety of your young adult life. You’ve got a girlfriend who you love. The battles so many generations before you have fought and died for have finally, slowly, painfully, been won. You partake in the victory not just for your life and your love, but in the name of those who have fought and died for this before you. The weight of this victory is not lost on you in the slightest. So you get married. A year (if that) later, it doesn’t work out. Like about half of all marriages, yours fails. But divorce is expensive. It’s approximately one trillion times harder to get divorced than it is to get married. So, a few years later, you’re still legally married. You’ve met the absolute love of your life, and you are still married. You still have a wife out there who you don’t talk to. You are not in each other’s lives, but you’ve got that title still.

That is my exact situation right now as I’m writing this. And I never thought I would see that issue on TV. It is a real issue in the LGBT (well let’s throw the blanket term “gay” on it as I’m talking about gay marriage in particular) community. A lot of us are in real, committed, loving relationships but we have actual spouses still. This is a real issue in so many of our lives. And idk if Emily meant to write this in because she is aware this issue effects a lot of us or not, but it’s amazing to me that I am seeing myself actually represented not just as a lesbian, but as a lesbian who rushed into a marriage.

If I went to the hospital right now at this moment in some near death situation, my actual wife would be called. My gf who I live with, have the happiest and best relationship I’ve ever been blessed with, and plan on marrying someday would most definitely be the one by my side, but my actual wife may show up. 

Now, my gf knows about my wife. She’s still my wife. I can’t call her my ex-wife yet. Not legally. I told my gf before we even started dating about my whole situation. Yeah we’re separated. Yeah, the only time we talk is about legal stuff. But the fact remains, I am a married woman.

Now, let me add something really emotional to this picture: divorce fucking sucks. When you go for a divorce, there are certain feelings that come along with it that never go away like fucking scars. You feel like a failure. You feel stupid. You feel unlovable and dirty and shameful and guilty and like you aren’t worth it. You suddenly can’t stand being around your own friends anymore because they’re married and having kids. Everything is a reminder that you failed somehow, even when you know it’s not your fault. No matter what the reason for the divorce was, you are shattered. All the love in the world from your soulmate you might find later on doesn’t totally banish those feelings. Some days, you don’t even think about it. Some days, it hits you like a sack of bricks that you weren’t worth keeping promises to. Divorce is by far the most painful experience I’ve had, and I’ve broken a lot of bones and been through my share of disowned by family, going to sleep starving shit.

So it is not crazy at all that Nicole, who fell fast and hard for a girl she did not expect in a million years to light up her life the way she did, hasn’t found the right way to bring this thing up. Wayhaught has been together how long at this point? A few months? I’m guesstimating 4 at most? I find it hard to feel any kind of mad at Nicole for not bringing this up yet. It sucks to talk about because it hurts to you, who went through the pain of a failed marriage, and you have to consider how to not hurt the other person who loves you now with the fact that you had a commitment to another person in the past. A serious, legal one. It’s a shit position to be in. It’s a nearly unwinnable situation. And it’s one that takes time to process for the other person. There is a fat chance this marriage that isn’t valid to you anymore turns off the other person because it speaks to your flaws from a time when you were young, dumb, and reckless, and promised somebody else your love. I don’t blame Nicole at all for not bringing it up yet. Maybe that’s because I know the feeling. Maybe because like, when has there been the time for such a big discussion?

Honestly, the reason I told my gf about being married when I did, the way I did, was because I was trying to keep her from liking me. When we first met, I wasn’t ready for a relationship. I had just gotten out of one literally days before we met at a concert. Then she starting hanging out at my place because my roommate was dating her friend. I knew she liked me, so I gave her all the dirt on me: I’m married, I drink, I’m a writer, I’m broke, I’m medicated, I have a bad leg, all the negative things. “I’m married” is not a good way to start a conversation. That will keep the ladies away, usually. I mean, ultimately in my life, it was good to have all the bad things in my past out in the air, and our relationship is like the funniest, best love story I’ve ever seen.

But let’s look at life in fucking Purgatory. All the times both Nicole and Waverly have been attacked, been nearly dead, maybe been actually dead, been possessed. They fight demons. Their lives aren’t normal, and they are always in danger. Bringing up a topic like legal marriage? As someone who is married and has been separated for years, there are days I don’t even think about or remember that I’m married anymore. It’s just not something that’s part of your life when you get caught up in school/work/puppy training/what have you. It’s not something on Nicole’s mind always, I can guarantee you that. And when she does think, oh maybe I should bring this up now, something insane like oh, my girlfriend’s possessed takes precedence. 

That was super long and unsolicited, but I think important. Nicole has always been an important character to me, but now exponentially more so because an issue has been addressed that does touch so many queer lives. I feel represented in a way I didn’t know I needed until I saw it tonight.

I want to say that I get why some people are mad about Nicole being married, but honestly, no. Sit down. Take a look at the community around you and real issues we deal with in our real lives. If you don’t want to see the hard part of our lives portrayed, what the hell are you talking about when you cry about wanting representation? If all you want to see women kissing and smiling, go watch porn. It’s just as realistic as this “representation” you say you want. You want positive representation, that is what we are getting in a way I feel so blessed to be witnessing. We have real characters in the media reflecting real struggles. We have a bisexual woman in a small town who is extremely apprehensive and makes rash decisions because she’s been through hell. We have a lesbian with a protector impulse which makes her prone to bad judgement calls but very good at her job, and she’s got a past that echos what so many of us lesbians living in the real world are going through. So, no, sincerely reexamine what it is you want these characters to be, because it’s not good representation. It’s fake. And it’s not doing anyone any favors. 

tl;dr: Nicole is the rep of my dreams. Learn some history. Fight me.

listen don’t get me wrong i love epic fantasy and sci-fi but it is very very important to me that we get fantasy & sci-fi on a smaller scale as well. i’m tired of reading about the Special Person Who Will Save The World. that’s not relateable. i want to hear more stories about bit players on the world stage! a traveling theatre troupe of goblins struggling to write a new play, two rival families of smugglers living on the same space station transport hub, a rom-com about a young hedge witch, a coming-of-age story about a dryad

give me more weird clever small stories

I hope you enjoy these inspirational quotes I collected and add them to your collection, either in your bullet journal, your planner or your pocket for some extra motivation!

Charles Bukowski

  • “If you’re losing your soul and you know it, then you’ve still got a soul left to lose.”
  • “We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that death will tremble to take us.”
  • “To not to have entirely wasted one’s life seems to be a worthy accomplishment, if only for myself.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald

  • “Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.
  • “Genius is the ability to put into effect what is on your mind.”
  • “The world only exists in your eyes. You can make it as big or as small as you want.”

Mark Twain

  • “You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”
  • “Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.”
  • “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”
  • “Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”
  • “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

George Bernard Shaw

  • “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
  • “The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can’t find them, make them.”
  • “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
  • “We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.”
  • “Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness.” 
  • “Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.”
  • “If you leave the smallest corner of your head vacant for a moment, other people’s opinions will rush in from all quarters.”
  • “You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul.”
  • “Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.”
  • “People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.”
  • “Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.”

Charles Dickens

  • “Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.”
  • “There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.”
  • “There is a wisdom of the head, and a wisdom of the heart.”

Anton Chekhov

  • “Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice.”
  • “You must trust and believe in people or life becomes impossible.”

Robert Frost

  • “Don’t ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.”
  • “The best way out is always through.”
  • “Freedom lies in being bold.”
  • “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
  • “Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.”
  • “Always fall in with what you’re asked to accept. Take what is given, and make it over your way. My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever’s going. Not against: with.”

Virginia Woolf

  • “Arrange whatever pieces come your way.”
  • “You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”
  • “If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.”

Maya Angelou

  • “Whatever you want to do, if you want to be great at it, you have to love it and be able to make sacrifices for it.”
  • “Nothing will work unless you do.”
  • “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”
  • “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
  • “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”

J. R. R. Tolkien

  • “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
  • “It’s the job that’s never started as takes longest to finish.”
  • “Not all those who wander are lost.”
Humans are weird: The lost colony

*Quick note before I start: This is the first installment in a series I’ve called the Lost Colonies which is largely about human society adapting to the strange environments of other worlds. You can read the other installments here: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed writing this series, but with my new work schedule I had to bring it to a close. If you’ve enjoyed this story follow me on here for my other writings. Thanks again to everyone who has reblogged, liked, replied, DMed, or otherwise shown their appreciation for this series. It means a lot to me that people enjoyed it and the love you’ve all shown me has really helped keep me going for these last few months.*

An adult Turic sits behind a desk jotting down notes as a recorder takes down the interview for future analysis.
“I understand that this entire ordeal has been stressful for you and your fellow colonists but due to your unique situation we would like to use this opportunity to better understand human culture. Please let me know if we need to stop or if there is anything I can do to make you more comfortable.”
The human, a younger female by the name of Kiara fidgets in her seat.
“No, I’m fine, I just haven’t ever seen an alien before. Hell, until a few months ago no one had ever heard anything but legends of people from outer space.”
The Turic looks down at his notes as he tries to reconcile this information.
“According to our research it says that your colony was originally founded just over 500 Sols ago. Are you saying that in that short amount of time your colony’s knowledge of spacefaring and other sapient races was erased?”
“I guess? What’s a Sol though? How long would that be?”
“Oh, a unit of time measurement based on the solar rotation of your home world. Prior to your race’s colonization of other worlds you referred to it as a year. For reference, you are estimated to be 22 Sols old.”
“Then yeah, that makes a lot of sense. We didn’t really have permanent settlements and had to keep moving. One of the older stories said that we came to our world in a fiery ship and that the remains of it could be found out in the wastes once a cycle. That’s what we call it when the Thaw comes back to the same point.”
“I have heard some of the other colonists mention this Thaw. This is the name for the habitable zone in which your colony exists, correct?”
“Yeah, you live in the Thaw, you move with the Thaw. The Thaw keeps you from burning or freezing as long as you work with it. It protects you, feeds you and keeps you alive, but it always moves so you need to move with it.”

The Turic frantically scribbles notes on its data pad.
“Fascinating. It appears as though your civilization has come to mythologize a natural phenomenon the way your ancestors on earth frequently would. Your colony was founded on a planet that was almost what we would call tidally locked. In essence one side of it always faced your neighboring star and it rotated as it spun around it so that the same side always faced it at all times. However the spin was off by a small fraction so that the planet gradually rotated to have a day/night cycle, but this cycle was so slow that it took roughly 50 Sols for a single rotation. This would have made for a narrow band of surviveable temperatures but one that was constantly shifting albeit at a slow pace.”
Kiara stared blankly at the Turic.
“Sorry, that went a little over my head. What I think I caught from that though is that one side of my world faced the light and one side faced the dark and we lived in the space between. Which yeah, that’s the Thaw.”
“I apologize, this is fascinating for me, I’m just curious as to how or why your people took what appears to be such a large step backwards in their technological capabilities.”
“Well, like I said, some of our stories say that we came from a fiery ship and that it can be found in the wastes. If my people really did come from another world, maybe we crashed and our technology broke. We do tend to keep on the move and we usually leave things behind when they break and can’t be fixed. I wasn’t old enough to remember seeing the great ship when my parents took me there and it was taken by the scorch a long time ago.”

The Turic stared at his data pad wondering how he would even begin to unravel all of this.
“Well, hopefully we can find some solid answers to this mystery someday, but I would like for you to tell me more about your colony. What is life like on your world?”
Kiara straightened up in her seat and smiled.
“My name is Kiara Williams. I’m a frost melt like my mother and father before me. We work on the very edge of the Thaw to make sure that the glaciers, mountains and streams run in the right ways when it comes time for the Thaw to reach them in full. We scout lands in the cold to find new sites for villages. We dig breaks in the ice to make sure that the largest sheets fall away from farms and villages. It’s bitter cold and dangerous work but it’s important and sometimes exciting.”
The Turic stared in an expression that would have been the human equivalent of slack-jawed.
“You colony had the technological equivalence of pre-industrialization. Are you saying that your people geoformed an ice world to ensure proper farmland using little more than steel tools and furs?”
“Well there are plenty of other jobs too. My brother is a farmer out in the warmer parts of the Thaw and I have a cousin who lives on the other end of it as a waste reclaimer.”
“And what is it that your cousin does?”
“He goes out into the scorch looking for broken things that can be fixed or things that were left behind by accident. Most people say that’s not a job for an honest person, but he has a real knack for finding stuff to sell. I heard he even managed to find a few relics off the great ship.”
The Turic made a note to track down this cousin immediately.
“Are those the only professions available?”
“Of course not. There’s bakers and builders and law makers but we do have to keep moving with the Thaw so most of us try not to stay in one place too long. It doesn’t help to get too attached. We can usually only get 3 or 4 harvests out of a plot of land before it gets too hot to grow. That’s why frost melts like me are so important to help scout the farms in advance.”

The Turic glanced at the blinking light on his recorder that was letting him know that his allotted time was nearly up.
“I’ll need to let you get back to your family unit soon, but is there anything else you can tell me about your colony or its culture?”
Kiara sighed. “Not really. Being a frost melt, I spend most of my days surrounded by ice as far as the eye can see. It’s strange and beautiful though. There’s massive mountains made of nothing but ice and I know that if I simply walk for a few hours towards out into the frost it would be cold enough to kill, but I know that I’m the one who gets to tame it. At times when the wind is calm I can breath the cold in deep and look out to the stars and wonder what it would be like to explore them too.”
Kiara looked down at her feet self consciously and laughed.
“I guess I can actually get to do that now huh?”
The Turic adopted the human expression of a smile.
“There is a lot of unexplored space out there. I’m sure the human race would be proud to have you back to help them seek it out.”

A bit of a Pep Talk

…because why not for today.

Aries: Your bravery and spirit can inspire many, teach them that should they feel knocked down, they are fully capable or standing up again with a full and forgiving heart. Never lose that childful vigor, rage, hunger for life, for it will lead you well like a compass. Stand up for those that lack your bounce back abilities.

Taurus: Sink into the feeling of the moment right now with your feet planted firmly on the ground. Move from the past and shield your eyes from the future, for this moment is the most important. The scents, the sounds and how you feel will not warp with time, but stay with you like a melody of a song.

Gemini: The ability to make someone laugh should never be underestimated for its healing powers, to knock the egos right back down and lift the spirits of those struggling. The intellect is a vast portal, and you have the talent of choosing we should go.

Cancer: Though maybe called too much or too sensitive, understand that we don’t come into this world with built up walls and shells, but soft, gentle, fully feeling. We learn to shut this off, although you never quite learnt that. It is something to cherish, something we all should cherish.

Leo: You enjoy the luxury in this life, the fine side of things, but you know how to shower others with the same adoration you expect. Live richly, squeezing every last drop of joy out of your experiences, and mourn when things turn sour. Live life with a full and bold heart.

Virgo: You notice the small things, see the beauty in the details that some may overlook, can see the intricacy of this universe. With this may come anxiety and nerves, feelings of being swamped by so much that you do not share with others, but remember, in the delicate details, stories are told.

Libra: Self sacrifice and the willingness to bring people together doesn’t have to be a weakness, in fact, it takes incredible strength. You are a creative force in this world, someone to be admired and adored, where the willingness to unite left and right can be a gift for our collective world.

Scorpio: Seeing people in their fullness, accepting both the good and their challenges is something to be proud of, not a creature of darkness but someone able to bring others into the light. You lock away sacred secrets, lips sealed if only they asked.

Sagittarius: You embody that stare of longing a child gives a closed window in a classroom, ready to break it and dash before you can be captured, away to the fields outside awaiting adventures. You show us that really, state of mind is everything, and when we see silver linings, it manifests in Gold.

Capricorn: You show us that to strive for dreams is not too far away and that we can do the same, that to work methodically to the top of the mountain can bring great rewards, and great lessons in self-belief. Your humour, support and grounding energy along the way makes the journey all the better.

Aquarius: You break the boundaries and barriers so others don’t have to, seeing them as the cages that they often are. You open people to ideas, to things they would have never even considered before, propelling us forward to the new world. You break the wheels that keep us spinning in boredom.

Pisces: The willingness to extend care to people from all walks of life has left you being called naive at times, too trusting, but without this you seem to whither into cynicism. Picture what the world would be like if everyone could extend their hand so freely. It is a fine picture indeed.

Sometimes being autistic is really hard.

Sometimes it hurts so much to not be able to socialize like other people. To watch yourself fail again and again.

Sometimes it really sucks to miss social cues and not get jokes and not be able to relate to other people.

Sometimes the world is too loud and too bright and too much and everything sucks.

Sometimes it might seem like being autistic is a curse

It’s ok to feel this way sometimes. It’s ok to let yourself feel the pain of feeling like an outsider all the time. It’s ok to feel the hurt of not being able to relate. It’s ok to feel the struggle of living in a world that is too much.

But it’s important to pick yourself back up and remember that being autistic isn’t a curse or a bad thing. While there are aspects of being autistic that can be really tough in this ableist society we live in, there are so many beautiful aspects of being autistic. 

Autism allows us to think in different ways from neurotypicals. We’re able to find solutions and ideas that others wouldn’t. 

Autism allows us to experience the beauty of the world so much more intensely. We can find the exquisite beauty in such small things others would miss.

Autism makes us different and that’s a good thing. We may not always fit in with people, but when we find the right people we can be fierce and loyal and great friends.

Autism gives us a different way of communicating that is just as valid as neurotypical communication. Whether you are speak with your mouth, type out your thoughts, sign your words, or any other way of communicating, it is beautiful and good. People who won’t listen to your communication are the problem not your communication. 

Autism has good aspects and bad aspects just like every other neurotype. 

It’s ok to feel bad about being autistic sometimes, but it’s important to remember all the good that comes with it as well. 

You are unique. You are beautiful. You are valid. You are loved. 

Live proudly

Live radically

Live autisticly

The signs as beautiful poems

Aries:

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Taurus: 

She dwelt among the untrodden ways
         Beside the springs of Dove;
A Maid whom there were none to praise,
         And very few to love:
A violet by a mossy stone
         Half-hidden from the eye!
—Fair as a star, when only one
         Is shining in the sky.
She lived unknown, and few could know
         When Lucy ceased to be;
But she is in her grave, and, oh,
         The difference to me!

Keep reading

skalman-och-bamse  asked:

I want to write a story set in Arizona, but where the Americans weren't invaded. I realised this after I made the plot and the culture is the same as I've lived it, and I'm also worried I don't know enough about Native American culture to write about it. Is it realistic to have the people live in houses and have jobs as the ones that are in America now, and can they use the same zodiac signs? I'm planning on mentioning their religion and such though so do you have any resources for that?

Accidentally Recreated Modern Culture, Is This Okay?

> I made the plot and the culture is the same as I’ve lived it
> I’m also worried I don’t know enough about Native American culture to write about it

You’ve basically answered your own question with these two lines. Because you didn’t even stop to think their lives would be different when you were building it, you don’t know enough about our cultures. 

You shouldn’t be jumping into this situation without being able to build a culture that is different from what you’ve lived automatically. Instead, you’ve gone and built something that is completely based on your lived experience, and promptly asking if your lived experience is possible for them instead of starting over and building your story based on our reality and imagining how our reality exists in a future where the Americas were never invaded.

You should be using cultures, plural, and you should have a tribe selected based on the Arizona area (I’m unfamiliar with the region, so I won’t list any— but there are many possibilities and google is a good place to start). You should be looking at what technological advancements would’ve spread via trade and what would be adopted.

Is it realistic to have industrialization happen around the globe? Possibly, depending on the global setting (I personally would rather see the level of industrialization we have not actually be at modern levels, because our current production is unsustainable, but advancement happens naturally). Is it possible zodiac signs have spread out and Natives have adopted the Western one? If it interests them, sure.

But those are the wrong questions to ask. The questions shouldn’t be based around “oops I didn’t build in difference, is it okay if they’re the same as modern people?” Basing your questions around that doesn’t actually address your knowledge issue.

Once you realized you made their lives completely identical to your modern life, you should have started over and gone to research how Arizona tribes lived, imagined how industrialization would’ve spread globally, and then begun building again.

Don’t launch right into the elaborate stuff if you haven’t got the basics down. Work your way up and don’t just jump to level expert when you’re still a beginner. It’s perfectly okay to be a beginner and not be able to tackle the elaborate stuff at first! It’s okay to shelve ideas aside because as you build them you realize you don’t know anywhere near enough to do it justice.

As we said in So You Want To Save The World From Bad Representation, you have to start small when you’re starting from the beginning of learning how to write representation. Everyone starts somewhere, and picking a more manageable project will give you a better starting place with fewer mistakes that can be made.

Take a step back and work on the basics. Tribes in the area, what their lives used to be like. Maybe write a modern story with Native side characters so you can learn about what their modern life is like. Once you’ve gotten those building blocks in place, you can start to build them up into something more elaborate.

~ Mod Lesya

2

“The global mentality is moving towards free world trade and increased market liberalism. A world full of opportunities. A world where dreams can come true. It sounds fantastic, and it is fantastic … for a very small percentage of us. But for the vast, poor majority, the capitalist system only means one thing: death and suffering. While we live out our days thoughtlessly, and stuff ourselves with cheap food, the poor people of the Earth struggle in factories. Wages are forced down to the minimum, while the work hours keep increasing. Unionisation is illegal, and the working conditions are intolerable. Before applauding freedom, we must remember one thing: our over-consuming society stands on the shoulders of the coffee beans from Peru. We gorge on cheap food produced by underpaid children’s hands from India.” 

- Jonas Noah Vasquez, SKAM.

On happy endings

Slash fandom loves them. And who could blame anyone for that, when things get so bleak irl?

It’s just…I keep seeing the same ones. Two men at home. They’re in the kitchen, barefoot and kissing in the morning. Or they’re in bed, feeding each other pastries. Or they’re having such passionate sex that the rest of the world disappears. Sometimes these aren’t even the endings; sometimes they’re the whole story.

Whose happy ending is that?

It’s not that queer people don’t love kissing our partners in the soft morning light, or rapturous sex, or a good breakfast pastry. We do. But that’s such a small sliver of a queer person’s life, and in this happy ending I keep reading it is almost always detached from the context - from the history and lived experience of persecution, fear, shame, discovery, revelation, release, grit, community, resilience, strength, pleasure, rightness, fullness - that makes that moment sweet, that makes it victorious, that makes it precious, that makes it love, that makes it happy. 

I wonder: who decided that happy endings meant being at home alone?

I wonder: after all of the fighting queer people have done to be able to live public lives, why does the go-to happy ending take us out of the public?

I wonder: who is this happy for? the characters whose romantic love is kept separate from their friends and jobs and extended families? the straight writers and readers who don’t have to think about what it means to live as a queer person? who reproduce narratives they’ve never had to question without considering whether those are the stories we should be retelling? the writers and readers who end up suggesting - implicitly, since of course they’d never say such a thing out loud - that queer love and queer happiness should only exist where other people don’t have to see it?

People often say this is in the service of queer readers and writers who want to imagine a happier future. Is this what that happiness looks like?

Consider: queer people with friends over for dinner. queer people in restaurants. queer people in queer bars. queer people at family events. queer people in the classroom. queer people giving presentations. queer people getting promotions. queer people in the park. queer people in the supermarket. queer people at the baths and the piers and the loos and the back rooms. queer people in the lab. queer people fixing cars. queer people writing books. queer people slaying dragons. queer people defusing bombs. queer people unraveling government conspiracies. queer people fighting evil. queer people doing magic. queer people experiencing love and happiness in full view of other people. 

Ask yourself: why, in these so-called happy endings, do queer people have to be hidden away? 

Ask yourself: why aren‘t we writing happy endings for queer couples that are about multifaceted, full lives in addition to sex and domesticity?

Ask yourself: can’t we come up with fuller, realer, richer happy endings? 

10 Things Your Friends Wish You Knew

1. Your time is the best gift you can give. – In your relationships with others, nothing you can give is more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention. So don’t listen with an agenda or the intent to reply. Hear what is being said with the intent to truly understand.

2. You have the power to make a big difference. – Everyone in life wants to be loved and accepted. Your greatest achievements in life will be the direct result of finding this love and acceptance within yourself, and radiating it out to those around you.

3. What makes us different is what makes us special. – Don’t be too quick to judge others or bully them for being different. And don’t put up with those who call you “a friend” and then judge and bully you. Let go of the need to prove yourself to everyone else, and you’ll free yourself to accomplish what matters most to you.

4. Love is meant to be shared. – So many people save their ‘loving.’ They consciously avoid putting their heart into their relationships, surrendering, opening up, and sharing, because they want to save it all for the right people (best friends, lovers, etc.) But the problem is when the right people come along they don’t realize it, they don’t know how to open up, and they don’t know anything about the act of loving.

5. You have to love yourself too. – The best thing you can do to improve the quality of your relationships is to work on loving and healing yourself.

6. Praise and recognition matters. – Give genuine praise. This is an investment in them that doesn’t cost you a thing, and the returns can be amazing. Be sure to follow this rule: “Praise in public, penalize in private.”

7. Small gestures of kindness go a long way. – It seems like such a small thing, but in our busy lives we often forget that a kind word, a helping hand, or just a smile and a quick “thank you” can create a bright spot in another person’s life.

8. Without honesty there is no friendship. – Honesty is the first chapter in the book of all wisdom. Honesty is the only path forward. It’s always better to tell people the truth up front. So don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts. Telling the truth and making someone cry is better than telling a lie and making someone smile.

9. Loyalty means the world. – True love and real friendship aren’t about being inseparable. These relationships are about two people being true to each other even when they are separated. When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option, but an obligation.

10. Reaching out and staying in touch is important. – Stay in touch with those who matter to you because they’re worth the extra effort. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of. Paying attention to these people is always a priority.

It’s this quintessential millennial farming fantasy ‘cause I think we all secretly do want to live in a world so pure and so simple that we could just give up our horrible city jobs and move to a small town in the country full of really nice bisexual people. And Shane. Who’s mean. But I wanna kiss him anyway.