One of my clubbing friends told me the other week that my nerdy attire makes me look like I’m a porn college student, jokingly obviously and we laughed about it, but all of you know how extra I am with deconstructing simple actions, so it got me thinking about how I can edit the way I can be perceived. I’m kinda insecure about a lot of things when it comes to my appearance as a result of being bullied and outcast in many levels through pretty much all of my teen years, obviously that has had a giant impact on how I have built my identity around arguably “nerdy” things. Becoming an adult has introduced me to other facets of my identity which I later developed more and more as I grew. And a lot of identities people seem to put on me from first impressions are false because the whole thing about being a nerd is you obsess about fandoms and fairly underground things. And most people in my adult life don’t really engage with those things so much, it’s a niche. This applies to how my body performs visually through fashion, as I do tend to dress in very “childish” ways for someone in their 20′s.
I’m not really insecure about the way I dress or how I come across to people, I find it to be a sort of badge of honour I give to someone for them to know me deeply and understand more about who I really am rather than making an assumption based on my appearance. However, I like to experiment with the many facets my body has to offer when subjected to different context, whether by posing, lighting, fashion etc. A lot of my selfies for me have become a study about this body I inhabit because I find it kind of weird that I never get to experience who I am physically while others do. It’s a way of very literal self-discovery, but it’s a self-discovery we share with people through the internet for multiple purposes in current culture. I literally don’t know who I am to others, I don’t know what it’s like to experience me, because perception will dictate what I become in a person’s mind, the way I “put myself out there” can only go so far.
I can’t help but wonder whether this is what Cyndi Sherman was trying to tell us with her self-portraiture, exposing this ability we all possess of becoming different identities simply through capturing a split second of an acted identity on film. Selfie culture itself allows us to perpetuate these identities coherently, giving us complete power to edit our image and chose how we want it to be perceived through performing certain identity nuances in photography.
I’m not saying any of this is a bad thing or a good thing. I’m simply trying to understand it.
With me reaching 500 followers i just wanted to say thank you to everyone that picked me :) This account and fandom bring such joy and comfort to me and you are all part of that…..
OK so Derek has seen Stiles spending more and more times with Lydia and starts to believe that Stiles is falling for her before he’s had the chance to tell him how he feels…….
Okay here it is. Your choice. It’ s simple. Her or me. And I’m sure she’ s really great. But Stiles, I love you, in a really, really big – pretend to rip your throat out, let you make the pack plans, hold a radio over my head outside your window – unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me.