this is a satire post

the extent to which straight people don’t get gay humour is incredible like the whole thing is a satirisation of how gay people have been treated for years like the reason we say “___ is for gays only” is because yall have been going around calling everything you don’t like gay and we’re making fun of that dumb mindset and taking away the power of it and having fun and yall still come onto every gay satire post with this “what if straight people said this about you” like you have?? that’s why the post was made in the first place i don’t understand how yall are this oblivious it’s honestly baffling to me

how to be a donna tartt character

wear old-fashioned clothes in all black or all white, odd glasses are a bonus

have weird nicknames with your friends and only refer to each other by them

intellectualism™ is important. make sure everyone knows that you love homer more than them

moral ambiguity is slightly more important. wanna scam people with fake antiques? wanna murder a friend? wanna steal your stepmom’s dog and drugs and run away across america? wanna semi-accidentally steal a painting and worry about it for years? wanna get into an ecstatic state and murder some random farmer? no time like the present

speak a few languages, preferably dead ones or russian

embrace your angst. amplify your angst. worry

consume copious amounts of substances. smoke, develop a drug problem, get sick drinking as often as possible

forget having actual romantic relationships with people, instead opt for romanticizing someone and obsessing over them and then confessing your love unsuccessfully or being totally gay for your best friend and then denying it later when they try to bring it up

(Note: Satire)

Tell everyone with Tourette’s how disruptive their tics are because they’re totally doing it to be annoying and if some people can suppress tics for days then all people with Tourette’s can, amirite?

Deny everyone with ADHD the meds they need because they just need to try harder to sit still and pay attention like everyone else, amirite?

Quiet hands and other forms of stim suppression makes NTAB peoples’ lives so much easier because who cares about the autistic people amirite?

Sending triggering things to people with PTSD is hilarious. You’re so cool to put someone through hours of flashbacks, phantom sensations and anxiety. It’s just a joke to you, amirite?

It’s totally fine to say something and walk off on an AAC user without waiting for them to compose their response because it’s so inconvenient of them to make you wait, amirite?

Send someone with epilepsy flashy gifs. Their seizures aren’t really that serious and it’s totally their fault for looking at the gif and ending up at the ER in status epilepticus amirite?

Stealing someone’s inhaler from their bag and not telling them where you hid it when they’re having an asthma attack is comedy gold. Watching someone panic because they can’t breathe is the best thing ever, amirite?

It’s perfectly fair to treat nonverbal autistic people who need lots of daily help and can’t make their communications understood like babies because they MUST have brains like babies if they can’t express themselves exactly like NTAB people, amirite?

All wheelchair users love people shoving them and their wheelchair out of the way as they walk by. It’s not their personal space, it’s an obstacle amirite?


Tumblr in a nutshell

Kathy Griffin got crazy and deep, she earned the hot seat..But I remember when they depicted Obama as a monkey shot dead in the street..The NY Post said it was satire, quoted the 1st amendment..I guess you can threaten a president when he’s an African descendant
—  Born Free #therealbornfree

It’s England, 2074, Emmerdale is still on tv. Robert and Aaron both got graphically trampled by Moira’s cows on screen, but the press team keep tweeting that there’s #moretocome. Lachlan and Belle are the new power couple. Rebecca’s womb is now a credited character but Rebecca has no lines and only communicates through blinking. Lawrence White is somehow still alive. When will he die? we all ask. Nobody knows. Nobody really cares. David and Tracy are still in the shop. They’ve not been allowed out to interect with other characters for 60 years. The sexy summer affair has not been sexy or in summer since 2015. Every character is having an affair. ‘It’s romantic’ says Iain Macleod’s android replacement. ‘Should Robron reunite?’ asks the Emmerdale twitter account. Aaron and Robert are both dead. Trampled by cows. We all saw it. #Context says Emmerdale. #KeepWatching.