this is a real bird guys
See An Exclusive First Look At The New 'Steven Universe' Comic
Steven Universe may have long breaks between new episodes, but fans now have a way to get their Crystal Gem fix courtesy of KaBOOM! The BOOM! Studios imprint will be publishing an ongoing comic ser…



a real lapeep (kindof)

Explaining BIGBANG members to normal people like

First, we have a rich screaming bird dressing like the weed man. Yes, he’s the leader. He hangs out in museums and abroad more than in Korea actually. Every time you blink, he’s changed his hair and outfit.

Second, there is a furniture lover who looks like Groot. Dancing is not his forte though, but definitely singing the chorus. He’s from outer space, a citizen of the honorable planet Doom Dada where showing skin is prohibited by law. Once caught on camera while peeing on rich bird.

Third, there’s a guy who pretends to be a celestial object. You can tell that he’s hot, doesn’t need clothes to keep himself warm. His hair stylist has some real issues. If you like quality dance: bias him. But if you dislike people spreading bs on social media… don’t do it.

Fourth: The only decent one in the group. Nah, just kidding. He might not see anything due to his hair helmet but this guy will roast you better than Jackson Wang and Key combined. Fans call him angel but don’t buy into that, those jokes and hip movements are nothing but satanic.

Fifth… where do I even start. Let’s put it like this, he’s got more Dirty Vibe than the leader. His hobby is sitting on other group’s maknaes. Can talk about love and in several languages by mere imitation. If that snake YG ever retires, this guy will take things over.

My Favorite Vines: A List

• “There’s only one thing worst than a rapist” “a child” “no”
• The little girl who throws the child-size Barbie against the wall and Law And Order: Special Victims Unit comes up
• “I went to church and I am in love with Jesus now” “JESUS!! LEAVE MARIA ALONE!!”
• Guy dressed like God: “and behind me is the biggest fucking mistake of my life”
• “I tell people I just use essence of England in my hair they ask what’s that ITS THE FUCKING RAIN”
• Free shavak adoo
• The guy who looks like chicken little saying he doesn’t like to be compared to chicken little because chicken little is a coward
• Big bird busTING DOWN THE DOOR
• “Welcome to the meet OR greet mother fucker, you gotta pick one”
• “What would you do if there was a child right in front of you?” *knocks kid over*
• That spaghetti scene in Lady & the Tramp vs a dog eating spaghetti in real life
• Beyoncé (at least I think it’s Beyoncé) dancing on a balcony and then flying away while an Enya song plays
• “Go suck a dick suck a dick suck a motherfucking dick”
• “Look at this graph”
• The guy using camera effects to switch between a skinny head and a fat head while singing baby it’s cold outside
• The guy making bop-it noises
• “Hi I’m Barbie! Let’s go for a ride! What the fuck kind of weather is this?!”
• “I put a banana peel on the ground and I’m gonna see if it really is slippery the way it is in cartoons”
• Mike wazowski in the washing mashing while hello darkness my old friend plays
• The one titled “those people who can talk to the dead”
• The guy who got a pack of gum with one empty sealed up space and is mad about it: “excite-mint my ass”
• “When I was gay, I thought I was in the third grade”
• The chair being pushed in that sounds like Chewbacca
• The farmer who drew a giant penis with his tractor

(I don’t know how to make vine compilations, so I made this list instead.)

anonymous asked:

You know dinosaurs ain't real right?

I turn dramatically to the entirety of birds present on this planet. They all stare at me, expectantly, their little birdie faces looking at me in various expressions and emotions. After all, birds are not one unified group. 

“I’m sorry guys,” I whisper, my voice hoarse and pained. 

One African Grey caws out, “Why are you sorry, Meig?”

I take a long, slow breath, “Tumblr Anon says you’re not real.” 

Thousands of voices caw out in unison. The horror in the air is palpable. A Harpy Eagle screeches in fury, while a Little Blue Penguin waddles up to me at the front of the room. 

“What do we do?” the penguin asks, even though penguins can’t talk, because I mean, does it matter, since penguins apparently don’t exist? 

“We move on, my friend,” I say, patting the penguin on the head, “We move on.” 

Slowly but steadily, the birds fly or walk away, all moving out in unison. Some go to universes where they do exist. Others stay here, as ghosts - remnants of an idea that once was. 

I change the title of ADAD to A Pseudosuchian A Day. I begin talking about scutes instead of feathers. 

But finally, the lies we have all been living under have been exposed. 

Something that’s great about Rick and Morty is that no matter how much of Rick’s inner pain they show, I never get the sense that they’re trying to say “oh, see, he’s really a good guy after all” or suggest it excuses any of his behavior. 

He can genuinely love his grandson and still treat him like shit. He can be a self-centered ass and an amoral monster and a good friend to Bird Person and be in very deep pain all at once because that’s how real people are, and none of those qualities erase any of the other qualities.

feel free to adjust sentences to make it fit your muse better!

  • ❛ Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… me! ❜
  • ❛ I had another Liam Neeson nightmare. I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn’t having it. ❜
  • ❛ You’re probably thinking, “Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie”? ❜
  • ❛ You guys going for a bite? Early bird special? ❜
  • ❛ Fuck, you’re old. ❜
  • ❛ Fake laugh. Hiding real pain. Go get Silver Balls. ❜
  • ❛ What the shit? That’s the coolest name ever! ❜
  • ❛ Now, I’m about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90s. ❜
  • ❛ A fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break? That’s like, sixteen walls. ❜
  • ❛ My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kabab! ❜
  • ❛ Well, I may be super, but I’m no hero. ❜
  • ❛ But some of the best love stories start with a murder. ❜
  • ❛ Looks aren’t everything. ❜
  • ❛ Hashtag drive-by. ❜
  • ❛ Ugh, stupid, stupid. Worth it! ❜
  • ❛ That’s right! You’re about to be killed by a zamboni! ❜
  • ❛ Tell me where your fucking boss is or you’re going to die! In five minutes! ❜
  • ❛ I should’ve come and found you sooner, but the guy under this mask, he ain’t the same one that you remember. ❜
  • ❛ After a brief adjustment period and a bunch of drinks, it’s a face… I’d be happy to sit on. ❜
  • ❛ Time to make the chimi-fuckin’-changas. ❜
  • ❛ Oh, I so pity the dude who pressures her into prom sex. ❜
  • ❛ Whatever they did to me made me totally indestructible… and completely unfuckable. ❜
  • ❛ Star in your own horror films. Because you look like Freddy Krueger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah. ❜
  • ❛ Life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness. ❜
  • ❛ Finish fucking her the fuck up. ❜
  • ❛ Suck a cock. ❜
  • ❛ This guy’s got the right idea. he wore the brown pants. ❜
  • ❛ I’d go with you, but… I don’t want to. ❜
  • ❛ I’ve never said this to anyone before, but don’t swallow! ❜
  • ❛ Your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas. Can I come and visit you between the holidays? ❜
  • ❛ Maximum effort. ❜
  • ❛ I didn’t just get the cure to el cancer, I got the cure to el everything. ❜
  • ❛ Ahhhh. I’m touching myself tonight. ❜
  • ❛ Ahhh! Your poor wife! ❜
  • ❛ Wanna get fucked up? ❜
  • ❛ Daddy needs to express some rage. ❜
  • ❛ Shit. Did I leave the stove on? ❜
  • ❛ Well I hate to break it to you, but your forty-eight minutes are up. ❜
  • ❛ Right up Main Street. ❜
  • ❛ Have you decided what you’re gonna say to her? ❜
  • ❛ I bet it’s going to feel really big in that hand later… ❜
  • ❛ This is a shameful and reckless use of your powers. ❜
  • ❛ Why such a douche this morning? ❜
  • ❛ Have you seen this man? ❜

Idea: link and zelda’s wedding day. Sidon is best man because lmao let’s be real here I’d fuck him. Hetsu (My favorite guy) and bird man play sick ass jazz. That old zora dude officates. Everyone cries because they are also in love with link, but link is a one woman type dude. Even he ole sealed up Ganon cries. Reggie cries. Miyamoto cries. They flood hyrule with tears. Cut to the opening of Windwaker.

i love that video because it’s like those weird “guy uses a random title generator for his youtube video (must contain spongebob, mario, angry birds or minecraft) and makes a video off of it with a template” except in real life

Voltron Pet Store AU


The manager of the place.

He hosts dog training classes every week with his black german shepherd, she is a lovable angel.

Gives Lance and Keith challenges to let of rivalry steam, like who can unload the truck fastest, stock shelves, etc. It gets work done quicker.

Everyone’s Dad. 


The fish guy.

Manages all the aquariums, and makes sure all his finned friends are happy and healthy.

Watching them swim and cleaning them is relaxing for him.

There is one fish who’s been in quarantine for a while, and he always sneaks in some of his lunch for the little guy. (Its an Oranda) 

Enjoys teaching small children how to properly care for fish.


In charge of reptiles.

Tinkers with the lighting, wiring, heating etc. to make sure their babies are always happy and healthy.

Also helps out Hunk with cleaning the fish

Leopard geckos are their favourite


Bird man.

Got the position after adding “good with chicks” to his cv.

Gives all the birds personalities and talks to them like real people. No one questions this.

Constantly gets bitten by one blue bird who hates him for some reason. 



Specifically loves rabbit and chinchillas.

Constantly has to tell kids not to touch the rabbits. They instead proceed to touch his hair instead.

Whispers “you owe me one” to the rabbits after the kids leave.

Everyones named a brown lionhead Keith Jr.  


Cashier and security.

Will kick your ass if you give trouble.

“Sir if you keep causing issues for our employees I will have to escort you out, with force if necessary” All with a charming smile and perfect winged eyeliner.


The delivery guy.

Makes sure all the animals arrive safely.

Too good for this world.


There’s a cat outside the store.

Lance feeds it in the morning, and Keith feeds it in the evening.

Lances names it Voltron, and Keith names it Zarkon.

They find out like a month later and argue about the name.

Votes happen and Voltron Wins.

It’s the only contest between the two Lance has won.

BTS as jealous boyfriends
  • Jungkook: the competitive and prideful one, doesn’t want to admit that he’s jealous. Texts u too much when ur out with ur friends nd tries to disguise it as protectiveness “who u with?”, gets rly jealous nd uptight nd tries to hide it like an idiot and then when he bursts hes just like FINE IM JEALOUS ur MINE
  • Jin: the mature and reasonable one, tries to keep himself from nagging u if he doesn’t feel like he SHOULD b jealous, but definitely still feels jealous a lot – holds it in like a motherfucker, elegantly tries to woo u with dinner and roses and accidentally slips a “yeah not like ____ would do that for u” “wait are you jealous” “n-no”
  • Jimin: the loud and sad one, admits that he’s jealous and whines about it!!!! “fine if u love him just go IM KIDDING DON’T GO PLEASE” “jimin i don’t love him”, rly wants to tell u not to hangout with the person but lacks authority af “I don’t want u seeing him” “what?” “i mean if u don’t mind…”, cuddles u nd tells u ur so pretty he has to beat a lot of guys up but u know he’s too fluffy
  • Hoseok: the offended and silent one, the guy to HATE the person he’s jealous of so much, he’ll talk so much shit about him “but its not because of Y/N, I always hated him” and he’ll just b so uptight about it, getting real mad when u go see him but he aint gonna admit to it “I just think he’s bad company did u know he killed a bird once”
  • Namjoon: the quiet and sad one, honestly making namjoon jealous makes my heart break because namjoon will be HURT ok he wont be mad or annoyed he’ll want to OFF HIMSELF or well maybe not off himself but he’ll start thinkin bout the worst things nd he’ll get so frustrated nd sad nd self conscious and u’d have to tell him something before he’d exhale and be like “whoa damn thanks for loving me”
  • Yoongi: the mad one, this guy would just get straight up angry if he got jealous and he’d be so protective. He’d kinda tell u what to do and he’d tell the guy to back off and he rly wouldn’t spend too much time sinkin into sadness: he’d notice that there’s a problem and he’d fix it for himself. Angry sex nd talkin shit about the guy would be #1
  • Taehyung: either team oblivious or team mixed feelings. he would either be so far from jealous he’d be surprised when he finally felt jealous or he’d be so awkward about it, like what does he do?? Does he tell u to stop hanging out with the guy? Does he talk to the guy? He’d try a few angry handshakes with the guy and being pissy but he’d always forget that he’s jealous when u finally gave him attention
Creepypasta #1087: It Doesn't Matter How Many Times I Tell My Babysitting Story, Because No One Believes Me

Length: Long

Listen, I’ve told the cops my story three times now. You can keep asking but I’ll keep saying the same thing. I know what I saw. I’m not crazy.

They were advertising for a babysitter on Craigslist. The post read “WANTED – BABYSITTER. ONE NIGHT ONLY. PARENTS NEED A DATE NIGHT DESPERATELY! $50. MUST LIKE GAMES.”

Well, I needed cash and I like kids. I like games too. I figured it would be easy money for just one night, so I responded. Back and forth, the typical shit - “We’re so happy you answered”, “When do you want me to come over?”, “Here’s our address”. All that stuff was pretty straightforward. Nothing really jumped out at me.

I should’ve realized they never mentioned who I’d be babysitting, right?

So I pull up to the house and it’s a real shithole. One of those that’s in an okay neighborhood and probably looked fine a long time ago but it got really gross and now their neighbors are pissed because in between their all-right houses is a total dump but no one says anything about it. And they had real weird decorations, too – next to the mailbox were these little bird-things with stone eggs for bodies and old metal limbs sticking out. Pointy rusted beak heads bobbing on weak springs. Real weird.

I knocked on the door because they didn’t have a doorbell. Right away, it opened, like someone was waiting for me.

First off, the guy was old. Like way, way older than I’d expected. I mean, the ad read like a couple with a baby who hadn’t been out in forever and this guy couldn’t have been a day under 70. Kind of stooped over, bald, skin sort of hanging off his face like it does with some old guys. His nose was all red, burst capillaries, most likely from too many years in the bottle.

“You’re here,” he said, excited, waving me in with a gnarled, liver-spotted hand. “Come in, come in!”

Keep reading

Old Friends (2/?)


  y/n and Sam Wilson have been neighbors since she moved to NewYork . When Sam started being an avenger they drifted, just random texts or calls . That was until the events between Steve, Bucky and Tony.  Things are all cleared now, everyone is back at the tower and/or avengers facility, including Bucky. But what happens when the reader shows up at the facility looking for Sam?  


swearing, a little sexual tension.

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Reader, Avengers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader


    It takes an hour for you to finally get your brain to shut off so you can sleep. Two hours later, you’re rolling around your bed fully awake again. This thing with Sam has been running through your mind non-stop. You have plenty of time to go see him before he leaves for wherever; two days is a lot of time right?  

Dammit y/n, get up and go. “Ughhhhh…“ You roll yourself onto the floor and lay there for a minute.  Am I just suppose to listen to him? Or am I supposed to talk, too? Oh God, what do I say? What if Bucky is there again? I wonder what he looks like with his hair pulled back…mmmm… Your phone going off pulls you out of your thoughts. You grab your phone hoping maybe it’s a text from Sam, but it isn’t; it’s just a Facebook notification. You put your phone down and walk towards your closet. Grabbing your towel and robe, you decide to go take a quick shower and then make your way to the tower. You want to see Sam and get this cleared with him.

 45 minutes later, you’ve showered, blow dried your hair, and finished your makeup.  Mmmm what should I wear?  You look through your closet, flicking through your t-shirts, and land on your one of your favorites. It’s a long sleeved black, semi-crop top. It wasn’t too short or long, but right in the middle. You weren’t the smallest girl, you have a lot of curves and a little thickness to you. Nothing you should be embarrassed about, as Sam used to tell you all the time. You used to hate yourself, thinking you weren’t skinny enough or pretty enough. Sam would always be there to shut those insecurities up though. God I miss him. I’ve gotta go. You decide against the crop top, and throw on a cute, long sleeved pink romper with some knee high boots. The weather is in that awkward stage where it’s warm but borderline cold, so you grab your leather jacket just in case. After grabbing your purse, phone and keys, you make your way out to your car. "Here I come Sammy.”


You arrive at the tower again and walk in, except this time you walk with a little more confidence in your step. Your eyes land on Melissa and you smirk and wave as you walk up to her.

    “Well hey there, Melissa. Can you please call up to Sammy and tell him I’m here?” She glares at you while she picks up the phone and lets Sam know you’re here. Five minutes later, the elevator door open while your back is turned to it.

“Well doll, looks like you couldn’t stay away, could you?” Barnes?

You turned around slowly and see Bucky standing in front of you with a shit-eating grin on his face and his hands tucked into his pockets. He’s wearing a grey Henley and jeans that hug him just right. Oh crap. He totally just saw me checking him out.  You look up, sure that he caught you eye fucking him, but when you look up you catch him checking you out. Note to self: Bucky seems to like rompers. Or maybe it’s the boots.

  “What can I say Bucky? I just coul-” You’re cut off when a door to your right is flung open and Sam appears out of breath and very angry.

  “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, TIN CAN.”  Sam lunges for Bucky but you step in between them.

“Boys, behave. What the hell is going on?” You cross your arms and look back and forth between the two men that are suppose to be part of Earth’s mightiest heroes.

  “He locked the elevator down so I couldn’t get in to come down for you,” Sam heaves. “Do you know how many flights of stairs I just ran down!?” If looks could kill, Bucky would be dead 12 times over.

  “I don’t know what he’s talking about, sweetheart.” Bucky shrugs. “I was just minding my own business when birdboy came running towards the elevator like a madman. I locked it in self defense.“ He couldn’t even say this with a straight face; he had a lopsided smile and was trying to cover up his giggling. You just glared at him. Bucky and Sam seem to have a weird relationship, but all you’ve seen so far is Bucky being mean to Sam. Well honestly, they are both just ridiculously childish, but whatever.

You turn to Bucky and take a step closer, put your hand on his chest, and look up and him, "Aww poor Bucky.” You watch Bucky give Sam a sly grin. You tap your hand on his chest and he looks down at you. How are his eyes so blue…? And his lips… Oh God, they look so soft. Stop STOP SAY SOMETHING SASSY…  You look up at him and get a little closer as he leans down, “If you’re looking for a girl, Buck, I think I have just the one.”

 He looks down on you and smiles. “Oh yeah, doll? And who’s that?”

You take a step closer and whisper in his ear, “Well, my grandma is about your age, and she’s single.” You take a step back and wink. His smile drops and you can hear Sam laughing like a hyena.

   “Sorry, Buck, but I’m the only one that’s allowed to bully Sammy.”  You walk to Sam and wrap your arm around his. “You ready to talk, birdbrain? ” He just smiles and pulls you towards the elevator. You hear Bucky walking behind you. He enters the elevator and steps behind you and Sam. You can see him in the reflection of the elevator doors; he’s leaning against the rail smiling. I was just so mean to him and he’s smiling, what the hell? Sam hit the button for the 48th floor, which I assume is his.  When we get to the floor, Sam steps out in front of me, leading the way. Before I walk out, Bucky steps closer behind me so his chest is pressed to my back .

   “I think this is the start to a beautiful friendship doll. I’ll see you later.” He did a little pat on your butt and you gasp. You turn around and that sly smirk is back on his face.  You feel the heat in your cheeks and just laugh,

   "Keep on dreaming, Barnes.“ You hear Sam clear his throat and you walk out of the elevator.

   “Is he always like that?” you ask Sam, and he just laughs.

   “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him be that forward with a woman. Steve is always telling stories of how he used to be such a ladies man back in the 40s but I haven’t seen any proof until you walked through those doors.“  He laughed but then stopped, "But he is a pain in my ass. Like the BIGGEST pain ever.” He huffs out. You just start laughing and flop on the couch Sam’s brought you to.

  “So is this your level of the tower? Ya know, your own little bird nest?” You kept a dead serious expression on your face and Sam just glared at you.

  "Ha ha, you’re so funny y/n.” You break, and let a smile out

  “Alright Sammy, you wanted me to listen, so go on. I’m all ears.

He clears his throat and fidgets with his hands in his lap, "Y/n, I don’t have a good reason for not calling. I just got so caught up… But you’re right, I should have called or texted or even sent you a damn letter. I didn’t forget about you. Just between the Accords, Tony and Steve, and being a fugitive, things are just starting to calm down. We just got back to almost being a team again. I didn’t want to drag you into this when it was so chaotic.” He moves next to you and pulls you into his side for a cuddle-type hug. You nestle into him and sigh.

“Sam, I just missed you. And worried a lot. Can we just try to be like how it was before? I can’t deal with other people like I deal with you. You’re the only one I can tolerate."   Sam laughs and kisses the top of your head.

  “Kid, you have no idea how much I missed you.” You went to say something but you heard the elevator doors opened and a group of voices.

  “Wanda, I’m telling you, Steve’s face was priceless when the bucket of water fell on him,” a smooth, female voice said. You heard a cute little laugh follow.

   "This prank war is going to get out of hand,“ said the second female voice. You could tell by the accent who it was.

  "Can we just call a truce, Nat? The whoopee cushion wasn’t meant for you. Buck put it for Sam.” You recognize the last voice as Steve’s. The three of them walk into the room. You see Steve, and know the other two as Wanda Maximoff and Natasha Romanov. They all stop when they see you and Sam snuggling on the couch.  Oh this probably looks weird. You start to pull away from Sam but he stops you and pulls you back in.

  “Nat, Wanda, this is my friend y/n. We were neighbors before I decided to join the Avengers.” They both smile and sit at the couch opposite of you.

Wanda was the first to speak, “Hi, it’s nice to meet you!”

 Natasha cut in, “So are you Sam’s girlfriend?”  Wanda slapped Natasha’s arm, and Steve let out a loud laugh.

   "Nice to see you again y/n.“ You look to Steve and just smile.

   "It’s really nice to meet you, and hi Steve. And no, I am not Sam’s girlfriend. I have higher standards than the bird flu over here.” I start laughing and Sam rolls his eyes.

   "Real nice y/n. I’ll remember that.“

   "Oh I like her, she’s got sass.” Natasha smirks. I smile at her and giggle.  Sam mutters something I couldn’t quite catch and gets up.

    "What are all you guys doing up here anyway?“ Sam asks as he makes his way to the kitchen.

   "Buck said you wanted us all to meet on your level?” Steve says but he seemed confused. The elevator doors open and Bucky walks out and straight towards you. Oh boy what is he doing now?

   “I see you’ve met my new girlfriend.” He sits next to you and throws his arm around you and pulls you in close. Natasha  and Wanda start laughing and Steve just rolls his eyes and walks towards Sam in the kitchen. Sam’s glaring at Bucky and Bucky is just staring down at you and smiling. You look up at him and smile. You push yourself up so you’re right next to his ear and whisper, “I don’t think so, doll,” and nip his ear. You get up and go behind Sam, throwing your arms around his torso and resting your face against his back. Steve, Natasha, Wanda and Sam are all cracking up. Poor Bucky was looking a little flustered and like a sad puppy. Why is this so fun? He’s even cuter when he pouts.

   "I was told there would be hot chocolate at some point, Sammy.“  Sam just smiles and shakes his head. He starts making you hot chocolate and you couldn’t help but smile while looking around the room. I could get used to this.

 "So y/n, how did you and Sam first meet?” Wanda asked. You move and go sit next to her.

  “Well I was walking down the hallway to my new apartment and found Sam sleeping in front of his door.”  You proceed to tell them how Sam had locked himself out. The day continued on with you talking about things with Natasha and Wanda; your life, their lives, embarrassing things about Sam. It was great. Things weren’t how they were before with Sam, but it was even better now.


A couple days later

  It’s been a couple days since Sam has been back in your life and since the Avengers have entered your life. You had only met Steve, Bucky, Wanda and Natasha so far, but that was about to change this morning.  You had ended up spending the night on the couch on the communal level of the tower. You, Sam, Buck and Steve stayed up late watching The Office on Netflix. You ended up falling asleep about four episodes into the first season, and one of the boys must of thrown a blanket on you before they all went to bed. You sat up on the couch and rubbed your eyes to try and wipe the sleep away . You hear footsteps and turn towards the doorway to see Sam, still half asleep also.

  “So the early bird really does catch the worm, huh Sammy?” You smirk at him, but he does not look entertained.

  “How many more bird jokes could you possibly have?” He rolls his eyes. “I just wanted to see if you were still asleep. I’m going to jump in the shower, feel free to eat or make coffee… actually that’s not a choice. Make me some damn coffee to make up for the fact the first thing you said to me this morning was a lame bird joke, y/n.” He turns and starts walking away. I forgot how crabby Sam can get, yikes.

  “Fine, fine. But I’m showering when you’re out, Sam!” You yell after him. Well I guess it’s time for coffee.  

 You were sitting on the counter in the communal level of the tower waiting for Sam to finish his shower and for the coffee to brew. You had your phone your hands looking at things on Pinterest to show Wanda. You didn’t even hear anyone come in. While looking down at your phone, you saw two feet step in front of you. You look up and come eye-to-eye with Tony Stark. Behind him are Bruce, Clint, Thor and Vision all staring at you.

 "Stark, it seems that one of your lady friends has taken your counter as her seat.“ Does Thor have an inside voice?

  "Sorry blondie, but I’m not Stark’s girl.” You turn and wink at Tony and hop off the counter.

  “Not that I mind a beautiful girl on my counter, but who the hell are you?” Tony laughed, but then dropped to a more serious tone.

  “I’m y/n, a friend of Sam’s. It’s great to meet you Mr. Stark.” You stick out your hand towards Tony, and he grabbed it and pulled you closer to him. Oh, what the hell?  
  He pulls your hand to his lips and kisses it. “You can call me Tony, gorgeous.” He keeps your hand in his and wiggles his eyebrows at you. You couldn’t help but laugh. He pulls you over in front of the other men in the room to introduce you. “Y/n, this is Bruce, Thor, Vision and Clint.” You shook all of their hands and smile.

  “It’s really nice to meet all of you, thank you for all you’ve done for the world.” They all smile at you, well besides vision. He smiles but looks a bit confused. Thor begins laughing and steps towards you.

  “Lady y/n, you are such a tiny midgardian!”  You looked up to him and smile.

  “Well Thor, I can’t help my hei-” You’re cut off when the God picks you up bridal style and tosses you in the air while he laughs. His booming laugh was contagious. You couldn’t help the giggles that escaped you as Thor pretty much plays catch with himself, using you. The others seem pretty entertained, too. You didn’t even hear Sam and Bucky enter the kitchen until Bucky clears his throat.

  “Uh Thor, mind putting my girl down?”  Does he sound annoyed? OR JEALOUS? Fuck yes. Y/n - 1, Bucky - 0.

 Thor looked at Bucky and set you down gently. “My deepest apologies brother Barnes, I thought lady y/n was simply a friend of our dear Sam."  

  You couldn’t help roll your eyes. "How many times to I have to tell you? I’m not YOUR girl, Barnes.”  You move past him and go to hug Sam. You can hear Tony and Clint laughing as Bucky mumbles to himself.

  “Well Barnes, looks like Birdboy Jr beat us both to the girl.” Tony pats  Bucky’s shoulder sympathetically.

  “Yeah, for now.” Buck grabs a water bottle out of the fridge and makes his way out of kitchen. “See ya later, Doll.” He turns and blows a kiss. What a dork. You laugh and wave him off. You continue making small talk with everyone in the kitchen about random little things until Tony gets an idea.

  “You know what we haven’t done in a while?” he asks. No one replies so Tony just sighs and shakes his head. “We haven’t had a party! And now that we have a new, very very interesting friend here.” He turns to you and looks you up and down. Man can he make a girl blush. Why is he even checking me out? I’m in sweatpants and a giant sweater.

 You were taken out of your thought when Sam nudged you. “So what do you think y/n, you up for it?” I really need to stop spacing out.

  “A party? Of course!” You smile and jump in place . You love parties and dancing. There had better be dancing.

  “Not just any party, sweetheart, ” Tony paused and took a sip of his coffee,“ How about we make this a very formal, black tie event?” He raises his eyebrows at you. You feel a smile make its way to your face. You’ve never been to anything like that, besides prom, and even that wasn’t that great.

  “I’M IN!” You probably sound too excited, but you jump and throw your arms around Tony in a tight hug. He was a little shocked at first but hugged you back and chuckled. Sam shared a glance with his teammates that were in the room. This would be the first big get together since the team’s been back. Sam sighed and shook his head, “Well…This should be interesting.”

P.s I want to thank

@agentraven007, for all the help editing this. It would of been a mess without her :) !

Originally posted by sebstxnevans


About POI’s accuracy on technology

As someone that’s “good with computers” like they say on the show, I’ve been watching Person Of Interest with my geek goggles on. What I saw was so deliciously satisfying that I felt the need to check on the Internet to see if others had noticed how accurate this show actually was. Surprisingly, I didn’t find many posts, there were some, sure, but I was sad it wasn’t praised more. So, I put together a list of the things I noticed were true or really close to the truth. [Geekmode == ON] Here we go : 

1. The most impressive fact is how Person Of Interest predicted the NSA scandal one year before it happened. In 1x22, Reese was sent by the Machine to protect NSA agent Henry Peck who wanted to reveal to a journalist how his agency was conducting illegal surveillance on a massive scale. In 2013, Edward Snowden did exactly that. 

2. The show once mentioned a dangerous virus called Stuxnet whose source code was in the laptop that Reese and Kara were sent to retrieve in Ordos by the CIA (1x20).

In the real world, Stuxnet really exists and is indeed a very dangerous virus. In 2010, Stuxnet reportedly ruined almost one-fifth of Iran's nuclear centrifuges.

3. In Person Of Interest, they like to show real code without explaining it. It’s just for fun, they know the general audience won’t care because most people don’t understand it but they also know that geeks notice these things. For example, they showed Finch casually manipulating the real source code of the Stuxnet virus in 4x05:

4. Speaking of Finch, you know how one of his aliases is Harold Whistler, right? We know that he chooses his aliases based on bird names but this one in particular can also be explained by Harold’s past. More specifically his teenage years, back when he used public phones to call people in other countries for free (3x11).

            Btw, the guy on the phone is definitely not French, horrible accent ^^

In the real world, the first hackers were called phreakers, they did exactly what Harold did using… whistles. The blue whistle Harold uses in this scene is the actual model the phreakers used in the 70s, crazy right? It’s in fact a toy that was found in Cap’nCrunch boxes of cereals back in the day. That particular whistle produced a sound that matched with phone operators’ systems and provided to the phreaker a free international line. So, Harold is indeed a Whistler and a good one at that.

5. Still about young Harold, when he built his first computer in 1980, he hacked the ARPAnet (the ancestor of the Internet) which is why he has been wanted by the FBI for treason ever since (screenshot from 3x12).

In the real world, in 1980, someone introduced a virus in the ARPAnet which temporarily halted its functions, they still don’t know who the hacker was.

6. Once again, about Harold, his struggle to accept his creation is already a real life issue. Scientists and engineers are indeed working on building AIs and are facing ethical and moral issues similar to Harold’s. The possibility of a benevolent AI is also mentioned as the only way to avoid a Samaritan-like AI in this very interesting TED talk:

7. In 5x01, Root and Reese stole a truck of Playstation 3’s to rebuild the Machine. I remember smiling at that at first, then I thought about it and figured it would probably work. Of course, in the show, they left out a lot of parameters that would have been needed to make it work and building it should’ve taken at least a day or so but I won’t blame them for that, an episode only lasts 45 minutes after all.

In the real world, the US Air Force actually built a similar supercomputer called « the Condor Cluster » using 1,760 Playstation 3’s. Well done POI, very well done !

8. This one is about Root and is more of a fun fact than technical stuff but still. When Root first appeared on the show, she was this anonymous and mysterious hacker who had managed to break into Harold’s system, which is huge considering how much of a “private person” he is.

So, what is all the fuss about ? Well, when you use a computer, you have a username, right ? All Linux systems have a default user which is called « Root ». So, the root user, also called « superuser » or « poweruser » has full access to everything in the machine. Basically, Root likes to be called a Superuser in her daily life. Now, thanks to my job, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t see root…

                                 Yep, this is me becoming root ;)

9. Other fun fact, in Linux systems, the « admin » user is like a common user, the root account is the only one who can modify the system. Just like Harold is « admin » to the Machine, she is Root to everyone (except Harold, I can understand why he always calls her Ms Groves, it must be frustrating for him to be constantly reminded that she bested him). She’s a hacker so the way I see it, when people call her by that name, they literally recognize her talent (even though they don’t know it), saying she’s so good she can access anyone’s system. Considering how the show ended, I’d say that her name is more than ever accurate… Love you Root, you classy, sassy, badass cinnamon roll.

10. Now, this cool trick that we use at work with my colleagues of the IT department: neodym magnets taken from (old) hard drives are some of of strongest magnets you can find. They’re so strong we use them to fix screwdrivers to the wall but they can also mess with electronic devices. This trick was used by Root in 5x07 to open doors which had an electronic lock. Root, you badass geek, forever in my heart.

I’m choosing to stop here because there’s just too much awesome accurate tech stuff in this amazing show to count!

If some people want to add to the list, or discuss it, I’d love to know your thoughts! [Geekmode == OFF]

First addition to this list by ellainthetardis:

11. When writing code, everything must follow a specific order, otherwise the code will act up and don’t know what to do. Think of HTML and CSS codes, which are what you see in web browsers every day!

The element in an HTML file (or root element) tells all the other elements in the code what to do. What order they should appear in, what to make certain things look like, etc.

So my first thought when I saw Root’s chosen name was this: like the person before me said, Root considers herself a superuser. Add to that the fact that she thinks she’s superior to everyone else, even Harold. Like a code in a string of HTML, she loves telling others what to do and expects them to follow her commands.

She’s always saying “Trust me” because she actually knows what’s the better option here. And also, because even though she thinks (knows) her mind is superior, she is still asking for other people to really believe in her. (And now I’m gonna go cry. Excuse me.)

About POI’s accuracy on technology 2.0 is now posted! It’s here : x

Hey, Neighbor - Wonwoo Fluff

Originally posted by visual-17

Request: Can you do a fluffy scenario with wonwoo? Something like he moves next to your apartment and you get closer and in the end you end up together. You don’t have to if you have to many requests 😊

Word Count: 1646

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Member/Group: Wonwoo of SEVENTEEN

A/N: This is officially the first Wonwoo scenario on the blog, and I hope everyone enjoys it. I just really wanted to make sure that anybody who is thinking about sending in a request knows that I will be making requests sent in under an account priority, though I will hopefully be able to clear up my inbox a bit this weekend.

 You shuffled into the kitchen and stuck a mug onto the counter as you began to begin your morning. As always, you made a not-too-strong-but-just-enough pot of coffee and added it into your favorite rainbow mug. The hot liquid continued send steam into the surrounding air as you took small sips. Lately, your job had been quite slow at the library, so you were able to devote more time to your writing. It was quite sad how nobody used the physical books anymore, but you didn’t mind since it meant utter silence and the warm, comforting smell of old parchment and wood.

 ‘As the bird stepped on the branch, completely alone’

 This sentence was all that you had written since sitting down, and there was no way for you to move past it. After all, every word and action needs meaning and thoughtfulness behind it. With a deep sigh, you rose from your chair and padded back into the kitchen to set your mug in the sink. When you turned around to walk back to your computer and enjoy your day off, a sound bang resonated from next door.

Keep reading

Disney Villain Sentence Starters

Evil Queen

“Silence! You know the penalty if you fail.”
“I’ll share a secret with you. This is no ordinary ____, it’s a magic wishing ____.”
“One bite, and all your dreams will come true.”
“Now, make a wish, and take a bite.”
“I’ll fix ya! I’ll crush your bones!”
“All alone, my pet?”


“There! This will be your home - where I can find you always!”
“You will make lots of money… For me!”
“QUIET! Shut up before I *knock* you silly!”

Lady Tremaine

“Well, I see no reason why you can’t go… if you get all your work done.”
“Get up. Quick, this instant! We haven’t a moment to lose!”
“You clumsy little fool!”
“Oh. Well, don’t just stand there. Bring up the breakfast trays at once, and hurry!”
“Hold your tongue! Now, it seems we have time on our hands.”
“Wouldn’t you prefer to eat when all the work is done?” 
“What on earth have you’ve been doing?”
“It would be an insult to take you to the palace dressed in these old rags.”
“I forbid you to do this!”
“How charming, how perfectly charming.”
“Why? Because YOU are *young*, and *innocent*, and *good*, and I…”
“And so, I lived unhappily ever after.”

Queen of Hearts/Red Queen

“I warn you, child… if I lose my temper, you lose your head! Understand?”
“Your way? All ways here are my ways!”
Curtsy while you’re thinking. It saves time.”
“How would you like to have your head hacked off?”
“Never mind him/her. (S)he’s mad.”
“It is far better to be feared than loved.”

Captain Hook

“Thank you, me dear, you’ve been most helpful.”
“So passes on a worthy opponent.”
“Good, then let’s have at it!”
“And that’s why I asked you over, my dear.”
“A jealous female can be tricked into anything.”
“Oh, a little persuasion might be in order.”


“Why so melancholy? A wondrous future lies before you - you, the destined hero(ine) of a charming fairy tale come true.”
“Oh, they’re hopeless. A disgrace to the forces of evil.”
“Touch the spindle. Touch it I say!”
“You poor, simple fools. Thinking you could defeat me.
Well, here’s your precious *(prince)ss*!”
“Are you sure you searched everywhere?”
“I must say, I really felt quite distressed at not receiving an invitation.”
“Oh dear! What an awkward situation.”
“This curse will last till the end of time! No power on ____ can change it!”
“I like you begging. Do it again.”

Cruella DeVil

“You can’t possibly afford to keep them. You can scarcely afford to feed yourselves.”
“Come now, I’m being more than generous.”
“Do as you like with them! Drown them!”
“But I warn you, ____, we’re through. I’m through with all of you! I’ll get even. Just wait.”
“I’ve got no time to argue. I tell you, it’s got to be done tonight!”
So they thought they could outwit ____?”
“What kind of sycophant are you?”
“We lose more women to marriage than war, famine, and disease.”
“Darling, red isn’t your color.”
“Be sure to let me know when the blessed event occurs.”
“My faith in your limited intelligence is momentarily restored.”

Madame Mim

“Now, first of all, if you don’t mind, I’ll make the rules.”
“Sounds like someone’s sick. How lovely.”
“So, my boy/girl, I’m afraid I’ll have to destroy you.”
“Yeah, I-I’ll give you a sporting chance. I’m mad about games, you know.”
“And (s)he must see something good in you.”

Shere Khan

“I can’t be bothered with that, I have no time for that nonesense.”
“Perhaps. But at the moment I’m searching for a ____.”
“Why should you run? Is it possible that you don’t know who I am?
Precisely. And you should know that everyone runs from ____.”
“Ah, you have spirit for one so small.”
“Now, I’m going to close my eyes and count to ten. It makes the chase more interesting… for me.” 
“Does my face not remind you of what grown man can do?”
“All I ask for is one thing and you denied me. Well that ends now.” 


“You’re going to ____ if it’s the last thing I do.”

Sheriff of Nottingham

Now, take it easy, ____, I’m just doing my duty.
Listen, ____, you’re mighty preachy and you’re gonna preach your neck right into a hangman’s noose.

Prince John

“____, with you around, who needs a court jester?”
“You’re never around when I need you!”
“I told you never to mention ____’s name!”
“Get out of that if you can.”
“I sentence you to sudden, instant, and even immediate death!”
“My dear, emotional lady, why should I?”
“Young love, your pleads have not fallen upon a heart of stone. But traitors must die!”
“This crown gives me a feeling of power! Power! Forgive me a cruel chuckle. Heh-heh-heh. Power.”
“Stop sniveling and hold still.”

Madame Medusa

“You must gain their confidence… make them like you.”
“Now, I’m going to let bygones be bygones. Do you know what would make Auntie/Uncle ____ very happy?”
“Of course, you have. But we must try harder, mustn’t we?”
“Adopted? What makes you think anyone would want a homely little girl/boy like you?”
“Not until you get the diamond!”

Amos Slad

“Watch it, that thing’s loaded.”
“____, get back in there before I break your other leg.”

The Horned King

“You’ve interfered for the last time!”
“Perhaps it would interest you to see what fate has in store for you.”


“Oh, my dear ____. I’m afraid that you’ve gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me.”
“You don’t know what a delightful dilemma it was, trying to decide on the most appropriate method for your demise.”
“Oh, I had so many ingenious ideas I didn’t know which to choose. So I decided to use them all.”
“You should have chosen your friends more carefully.”
“All will bow before me!”


“Three sunrises. Three sunsets. Three days, ____.”
“So, ____. Did we bring something green and wrinkly to make ____ happy?”
“If you don’t have my money…”
“Now, I lent you some money, and I don’t see it. Do you know what happens when I don’t see my money, ____?”


“So much for true love!”
“My dear, sweet child. That’s what I do. It’s what I live for, to help unfortunate ___, like yourself, poor souls with no one else to turn to.”
“It’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man.”
“Oh, and there is one more thing. We haven’t discussed the subject of payment. You can’t get something for nothing, you know.”


“It’s not right for a woman to read. Soon she starts getting *ideas*, and *thinking*…”
“How can you read this? There’s no pictures!”
“This is the day your dreams come true.”
“Say you’ll marry me.”
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had *feelings* for this monster.”
“It’s over, ____! ____ is mine!”


“You will order ____ to marry me.”
“____ *will* marry me!”
“You’re speechless, I see. A fine quality in a wife.”
“I am your master now!
“Trust me, my friend. You’ll get what’s coming to you.”


“Life’s not fair, is it?”
“And you… shall never see the light of another day.”
“Ahh, so you haven’t told them your little secret.”
“Oh, no, ____. Perhaps *you* shouldn’t turn your back on *me*.”
“Well, I suppose you’d have found out sooner or later, you being so clever and all.”
“And remember… it’s our little secret.”
“Oooh… I quiver with *fear*…”
“I’m *surrounded* by idiots.”
“Run. Run away, and never return.”

Governor Ratcliffe

“I’ll have your head for this!”
“How dare you!”
“Well, I’ll just have to take it/you by force then, won’t I?”
“This is my land!”
“I make the laws here!”
“That’s what guns are for.”
“A mans not a man unless he knows how to shoot.”


“How dare you defy me!”
“Mark my words, —, you will pay for this insolence.”
“Look at that disgusting display.”
“I know you helped him/her escape.”
“You idiot! That wasn’t kindness, it was cunning!”
“Dear boy/girl, whomever are you talking to?”
“I think… you’re hiding something.”
“I’ll find her/him. I’ll find her/him if I burn down all of ____!”
“And this my thanks for taking you in and raising you as my son/daughter?”
“These people are traitors, and must be made examples of.”
“I can save you from the flames of this world, and the next. Choose me, or the fire.”
“You’ve chosen a magnificent prison, but it is a prison nonetheless. Set one foot outside, and you’re mine.”
“You don’t know what it’s like out there. I do. I do.”


“So you took care of him, huh? “Dead as a doornail.” Weren’t those your *exact* words?”
“Okay, fine, fine. I’m cool. I’m fine.”
“I need somebody who can… handle him/her as a (wo)man.”
“Well, you know, that’s good because that’s what got you into this jam in the first place, isn’t it?”
“You sold your soul to me to save your boyfriend/girlfriend’s life. And how does this creep/bitch thank you? By running off with some babe.”
“(S)he hurt you real bad, didn’t (s)he, ___? Huh?”
“We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. What do you say? Come on.”
“____, ____, ____, my sweet deluded little minion. Aren’t we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial little, tiny detail? I own you!”
“____, listen. Do you hear that sound? It’s the sound of your freedom, fluttering away, *forever*!”
“I can’t believe you’re getting all worked up over some “guy/chick.””
“Now you now how it feels to be like everyone else. Isn’t it just peachy?”
“____, my little flower, my little bird, my little *nut*-____. What exactly happened here?”


“I tire of your arrogance, ____. Bow to me!”
“Looks like you’re all out of ideas.”
“You took away my victory!”


“Go ahead. Shoot me. Be a (wo)man.”
“Why? For 300 pounds sterling a head.” 
“Actually, I have you to thank, old boy/girl. Couldn’t have done it without you.”


“Excellent. A few drops in his/her drink, and then I’ll propose a toast, and (s)he will be dead before dessert.”
“Just think of it as you’re being let go, that your life’s going in a different direction, that your body’s part of a permanent outplacement.”
“I know. It’s called a “cruel irony”, like my dependence on you.”
“It is no concern of mine whether or not your family has… what was it again?”
“Take him/her out of town and finish the job now!”
“Why do we even *have* that lever?”
“____! Why did I think you could do this? This one simple thing! It’s like I’m talking to a monkey.”
“Fired? W-W-What do you mean, “fired”?”
“Why, I practically raised him/her.”
“That is the last time we take directions from a ____.”
“This had better be good!”
“_____ is dead, right? Tell me ____’s dead. I need to hear these words.”

Commander Rourke

“What’s to know? It’s big, it’s shiny, it’s gonna make us all rich.”
“It’s called natural selection. We’re just helping it along.”
“Looks like all our chances for survival rest with you, ____.”
“Well, as usual, diplomacy has failed us. Now, I’m going to count to ten, and you’re going to tell me where the crystal is. One, two, nine…”
“I love it when I win.”
“I consider myself an even tempered (wo)man. It takes a lot to get under my skin, but congratulations, you just won the solid-gold kewpie doll.”


“____ should learn to mind their own business.”
“Maybe your ears don’t work so well.”
“The girl was sniffing about.”
“It’s that boy/girl. Methinks you have a soft spot for him/her.”
“I say we kill ‘em all now.”

Oogie Boogie Man

“Well well well. What have we here?”
“So you’re the one everybody’s talking about?”
“It’s much more fun, I must confess, with lives on the line.”

Dr. Facilier 

“Gotta hand it to you, ____. When you dream, you dream big.”
“Don’t you disrespect me, little man/lady!” 
“You’re in my world now, not your world.”
“Y'all should have taken my deal.”

Mother Gothel

“Look in that mirror. I see a strong, confident, beautiful/handsome young lady/man. Oh look, you’re here too.”
“I distinctly remember, your birthday was last year.”
“YOU are not leaving this tower! EVER!”
“Great. Now I’M the bad guy.”
“____, please, stop with the mumbling. You know how I feel about the mumbling. Blah blah blah blah blah, it’s very annoying!”
“Dear, this whole romance that you’ve invented just proves you’re too naive to be here.”
“Why would (s)he like you? Come on now, really. Look at you! You think that (s)he’s impressed?”
“Please speak up, ____. You know how I hate the mumbling…”
“Oh, ____, do you even hear yourself? Why would you ask such a ridiculous question?”
“Everything I did was to protect YOU.”
“Where will you go? (S)he won’t be there for you.”
“Now, now, it’s all right. Listen to me. All of this is as it should be.”
“You want me to be the bad guy? Fine. Now I’m the bad guy.”
“The world is dark and selfish and cruel. If it finds even the slightest ray of sunshine, it destroys it!”

King Candy

“Sad as it is, ____ can not be allowed to ____.”
“I’m not against her/him! I’m trying to *protect* her/him!” 
“Welcome to the boss level!”

Prince Hans

“Can I say something crazy? Will you marry me?”
“Oh, ____. If only there was someone out there who loved you.”
“I, on the other hand, am the hero who’s going to save ____ from destruction.”


“It’s still my word against yours.”
“It really is too bad, I… I did like you!”
“I framed ____; I can frame you too!”

Kandi Burruss kicked it back to the ‘90s recently when she posted a photo of herself in the studio with *NSYNC. The throwback snapshot harks back to a bygone era when the boy band was hard at work on their sophomore album No Strings Attached.

Kandi was recruited by the guys to help craft tunes for the release, eventually helping to co-write their deliciously great track “It Makes Me Ill.” And, if you think it looked fun to work with the guys just by glancing at the photo, the Real Housewives of Atlanta singer/songwriter confirmed to The Daily Dish that it really was a party.

“I have another picture of the same picture with all of us shooting birds at the camera, but I didn’t think that was good for their image at this point so I didn’t post that one,” Kandi told The Daily Dish.

“We were young. We were having fun in the studio. I had wrote the song 'It Makes Me Ill’ for them on their No Strings Attached album and She'kspeare was the producer, and we just had a good time. They were super talented. They were really silly in the studio too, so you see Chris [Kirkpatrick] was acting crazy in the picture. It was really fun working with them. I really enjoyed it and I’m glad I had the opportunity. It’s so funny to see where we started and where we are now.”

Dorm Bedding 101

Okay, so first things first, if you’re going to splurge on anything in your dorm room, splurge on your bed. Trust me. You’ll be basically spending half of the academic year in it, and therefore snuggly is the way to go. So here are my tips on how to make your bed the snuggliest cloud ever. <3

1. You’re gonna be spending a shit ton of money on your bedding. So don’t decide to throw caution to the wind and forego a mattress protector. BUY A DAMN MATTRESS PROTECTOR. I don’t care if that mattress is brand new or 20 years old, it is dirty and you do not want to tempt fate. Just do yourself a favor and be the cool kid who doesn’t get bed bugs.

2. Next, you’re gonna need a mattress pad. Now, I personally didn’t really splurge on my mattress pad. It’s just a basic one from Target that I got on sale during tax-free weekend, but mainly you need it to keep all of your snuggly bedding from slipping around on that plastic mattress.

3. SPEAKING OF TAX-FREE WEEKEND. If you live in the States, do yourself a favor and go on your college shopping spree on tax-free weekend. The amount of money you will save is ridiculous, so just fight your way into Target and wherever else, grab your shit, and floor it to the cash register.

4. Now, as you sprint through Target with your shades on and the Mission Impossible theme song blaring out of the speakers, grab yourself a super plush mattress topper. Go as thick or thin as you want, although I’d recommend at least two inches for optimal snuggliness.

5. On to sheets! Okay, I’m gonna be honest, I despise Jersey sheets, but apparently they’re a thing for college students, so if you’re into that, go for it. Otherwise, aim for cotton, cotton, cotton. Get two sets of sheets. Believe me, sometime during your college life, you WILL ruin a set, so just save yourself a step and get extras.

6. So this bit is 100% up to your individual preference, but I personally would recommend getting a down alternative comforter (don’t get real down, save the birds, come on guys) in a neutral color. (Mine is white and I keep it pretty clean, but if you’re planning on having a Doritos-and-Pizza buffet on your bed, you might want to go for a darker color.) You can also get a duvet cover if you just really want a froofy floral print on your bed. Don’t get anything too thick or too thin, especially if you live in a place with four seasons; anything that says “all-seasonal” is A+ and 10/10.

7. And finally, pillows! I’d recommend getting two big pillows (I actually have four, because I’m a pillow whore and I have no shame), but any and all throw pillows are up to you. I would try to limit it to two, mayyyybe three small throws, since there’s only so much room on the bed and you don’t want to have to squeeze your body onto two inches of mattress next to your wall of stuffed animals and fandom pillows.

8. Lastly, WASH YOUR FREAKING BEDDING. I do mine every two weeks at least; every week would be ideal, but alas, I have a life. Just please, please, please don’t let your sheets sit and soak for four months in all the gross shit you bring in from outside. You don’t even want to KNOW what kinds of disgusting things build up on your bedding over time. Plus, is there anything better than sleeping in a newly washed and made bed that smells like Hawaiian Mango Breeze and success?

Voilà! Now you have a beautiful, plush, snuggly pile of love waiting for you after classes and studying. You’re welcome.

And to all the precious sunflowers going to college this fall, I wish you all the luck in the world, and don’t forget that even if it’s overwhelming at first, it’ll be okay! And of course, you always have boatloads of studyblrs (including me!) who would love to help you and give you advice whenever you need it.

Originally posted by dream-kittty

Bestfriend Benefits

Word Count: 1.6K
Warnings: crude language, sexual implications, warren making daddy jokes haha
A/N : Fake Relationship AU with Warren Also idk how I feel about this so plz send feedback

Warren turned on his heels about ready to bolt straight out the door when he felt your hand trailing up his bicep, cupping his shoulder and spinning him to face you. He blinked, too shocked to move and too slow to escape,

“Warren pleaseeeeeeeeee” You begged your e/c eyes pleading with his gorgeous blue eyes. He nearly let out a whine as he starred down at you; batting your lashes at him your lips puckered in a pretty pout.

“please angel, for me…” You smirked as you watched his cheeks grow pink at the childhood nickname.

He coughed awkwardly before puffing out his chest and rolling his eyes again, “Y/N I don’t understand why this is so important to you! Just go out and find a real boyfriend, it really shouldn’t be that hard for you I could think of like at least 5 guys just off the top of my head who would-”

“No Warren! it has to be you! You are Scott’s roommate and he absolutely despises your influence on me!”

“What kind of influence? What do I do to you, baby?” He winked leaning closer as his eyes trailed over your body.

Keep reading