this is a headache blog

I’m watching again Harry Potter and the deathly hollows (part 2) and I wanted to make a huge thumbs up for Helena Bonham Carter playing Bellatrix Lestrange playing Hermione Granger playing Bellatrix Lestrange.

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Just this morning I received an email that someone left a review on one of my incomplete, multi-chapter stories. I’m probably speaking for most writers on this but you could say I felt ecstatic to know someone took some time to leave a message for something that took an effort to do.


But as soon as I opened the message and read it, the excitement was gone and all I had were mixed feelings.

I’m not angry, mind you, but no matter how many times I read it there’s always a flick of irritation especially when I see it’s written in such a demanding tone. In the end, it just saddens me how some people don’t realize that if there’s someone who wants to update AND complete the stories more than the readers, it’s actually the authors themselves. (Also a confession: If I allowed the petty side of me to take over I would’ve just deleted the story to get it over with, lmao. Besides, it’s not like we get paid to do this, right? RIGHT?)

Anyway, to answer Guest first, I did say in my profile that my FT fics are in a hiatus (for the same reason why I don’t post much FT art nowadays); I know Guest probably has no ill intention when they posted the review; most likely, they’re probably just frustrated with waiting, but believe me when I say that as a writer, I’m frustrated myself for not being able to write and post it the way I initially planned.

The primary intention of this post was not to throw shade at the reviewer–far from that, actually. At the end of the day the entire point of the person leaving the review is that they like it enough to actually check whether I’d still post another chapter after more than a year. And that’s rather…flattering, to say the least. However, there is a much better way of getting your point across PLUS getting a higher chance of obtaining your desired outcome (in this case, the update).

Say what you liked most about the story, or even tell which your favorite parts were. Tell which parts made you sad, tell which parts made you happy. You could even ramble about what makes the characters/ships perfect in your eyes, or perhaps even share your thoughts on what would most likely happen next. It actually makes a difference, rather than just asking/demanding for an update. Perhaps if you really like it enough, you could even try messaging the authors directly, and I’m sure most would be more than willing to talk about it in private messages.

I’ve seen posts about writers being underappreciated and the sad reality is how it actually happens. The thing about writing is that authors usually have a basic idea on what’s going to happen, but the tricky part is how they would mend together the words that would make the story complete, so they can’t just easily /post/ the next chapters.

Writing is hard, and I think it’s important to show our appreciation to the writers, especially when we’re getting it for free …

О головной боли в четверг

В голове назойливо, откуда-то из глубины пульсирует боль; медленными волнами она достигает стенок черепной коробки, сталкивается с ними и возвращается обратно, замыкаясь в монотонное ощущение распирания изнутри. Я вышел вместе с болью в морозный воздух, стоял на остановке, держа её в голове, ехал с ней в автобусе, старался забыться, концентрируясь на размеренном голосе в наушниках, и направился с ней же к дому, как только снова оказался в холодном воздухе ночного города.

Я пробовал глубже дышать, втягивая носом воздух до самых извилистых бронхиол, постепенно ощущая его холод в кончиках пальцах. Я пробовал дышать медленнее, пробовал тереть виски, вертеть головой и просто смотреть в одну точку. Боль внутри, пульсирующая, чужая, неприглашенная; лишним наблюдателем она устроилась где-то за обратной стороной моих глаз и стала частью меня этим вечером.

Я снова пробую тереть виски, медленно проводя пальцами по коже, чувствуя пульсацию сосудов, чувствуя пульсацию боли. Наверное, погода, думается сразу в таких случаях, что же еще. В крайнем случае - переутомление, но от чего, последние недели загруженные, но не так чтобы на износ - это было бы слишком. Просто вечером этого четверга боль решила проснуться в моей голове и заняла её всю, каждую ямку на черепе, каждую извилину мозга, каждый поворот, изгиб и углубление - заполнила и размеренно напоминает о себе, усиливаясь при движениях, случайных поворотах или неосторожных фразах. Из-за неё я стараюсь двигаться медленнее, почти не шевелиться, но помогает мало.

С наступлением ночи я остался с ней один на один, вокруг тишина спящей квартиры, сонного города, смиренного ноябрьского ветра; ничего не мешает чувствовать боль во всём её сегодняшнем величии, ощущать её внутри, поддаваться пульсации, морщиться с каждой новой волной. Я знаю, что к утру она отступит, но пока нужно как-то с ней уснуть. Доброй ночи, друзья, и легкой пятницы всем нам завтра!

Seriously the level of stupidity I see on the Anti-Killing Stalking blog gives me a headache. We get it, you hate it, you hate everything about this comic but your not doing yourself the favor of just ignoring it like most people do! I hate Fifty Shades of Grey but you don’t see me posting every damn post about how much I hate it or LITERALLY DEDICATING AN ENTIRE BLOG about how MUCH YOU DESPISE Killing Stalking. A lot of us fans who like KS understand why you wouldn’t like it, Its understandable, this shit isn’t for everyone and again WE UNDERSTAND, hell most of us could care less whether you like it or not, but dedicating a post about how much you hate it without really knowing the source material or saying how “horrible and evil” or whatever stupid shit you guys tell us the fans even though YOU DON’T KNOW US PERSONALLY doesn’t make you a better person. Honestly when did it become a crime to enjoy something? I don’t see people complain about another person liking Saw, Misery or fucking Tokyo Ghoul or Parasyte yet KS is the one where everyone automatically has to hate on because of the material inside it which again, I UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE WOULDN’T LIKE KILLING STALKING but telling people their homephobes or telling people to kill themselves because they enjoy something makes you no better.

The Signs at the Club
  • Aries: *Trying to pick up someone* Hey doll, what's your zodiac sign?
  • Taurus: *Talking to the Bartender and drinking a moderate amount*
  • Gem Twins: *One is completely sober while the other is too drunk* -Drunk Twin- YOURE THE BEST YOU KNOWSSW THAT!??
  • Cancer: *Biggest lightweight out of the group had a Jell-O shot and about passed out* HEHEHEHEHEHDCIGNCITN *trying to hug everyone*
  • Leo: Dancing w/ Scorpio & Libra
  • Virgo: *Designated Driver* This is going to be a long night
  • Libra: *Dancing w/ Scorpio & Leo* Cap go w/ Sag you're a lightweight and need water!
  • Scorpio: *Dancing w/ their trio and trying not to have any alcohol spilled on them*
  • Sagittarius: *Completely sober* Aqua.. Aquarius we need to get you some water. You're gonna have a killer headache
  • Capricorn: *2nd biggest lightweight* LIIIIBBBBBBBBRRRRAAAADG WHY YOWU SOOOOOO GREAST!
  • Aquarius: *Drunkenly trying to dance w/ Sagittarius*
  • Pisces: *Is the DJ*
I’m an ambivert

or equal amounts extrovert and introvert and dear god it’s exhausting. Cause I get energy from other people (or just fake energy to hide the depression) and people assume something is wrong when I’m alone. All I want is a break where I don’t have to worry about other people for a little bit. All I want is to frown or cry without people trying to help. Cause I have been non stop acting ‘normal’ and I think it’s starting to make me sick.

I get told that “in the real world you have to know how to work with people”, but that doesn’t mean I have to neglect myself. I know myself better than anyone else, and I know that I need a balance to stay happy and healthy. But this has gotten so out of whack that I just wanna curl up and avoid people for a couple days to get that balance back.

Day 137

Today I managed to get sick and to step into a puddle of urine.
Considering my headache and the pressing wish to get some sleep, as well as the amount of medication I took over the last four hours I’d say this is not a “good day”.

Apparently everyone has “less good days”. But at least now I am to tired to plan killing someone.

Good “night”.

(-confession/lie some number)

An Ending You Would Have Wanted - @mysme69minutes
Time: About 40ish minutes! I would expand, but I’m afraid I’d get over the time limit then omg. So it’s about 929 words now, but I also figured maybe uploading some of my writing might get people interested in my blog! Hehe.


MC groaned softly. Headache. It made them very reluctant to open their eyes, but along with the headache came a vague sense of danger. So slowly, reluctantly, they opened their eyes, attempting to orient themselves. Where.. was this place? It didn’t seem familiar – how did they get here?

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