this is a hairdryer

lovecoralei  asked:

Do you have any opinion on virtual tarot vs physical? Like apps and things instead of a deck. I offer a bag of orange faceted beads, a vintage hairdryer that like folds out and you put it over your head like you're at the beauty shop, and a hug if you want one because I love your fortunes and horoscopes. I'm a crab so the one from today tickles me; I did that in a mall once and security hunted me for the rest of the day.

GOOD QUESTION

THE KEY ELEMENT TO PHYSICAL THINGS LIKE DICE AND CARDS IS THAT WHEN SHUFFLED OR TOSSED THE RESULT IS TRULY RANDOM

COMPUTERS USE COMPLEX FORMULAS TO GENERATE WHAT LOOKS LIKE A RANDOM NUMBER BUT IS ACTUALLY A PREDICTABLE PSEUDO-RANDOM NUMBER

THOUGH STILL AT THE WHIMS OF ENTROPY I FEEL COMPUTERS DILUTE THE READING AND BECAUSE COMPUTERS ARE SUCH COMPLEX MACHINES LEARNING AND ATTUNING TO THEM CAN BE A FICKLE PROCESS 

ok this my list of hoe tips and life tips in general

- can’t get ur pussy smooth?? always prickly?? shave diagonally and horizontally instead of up and down, and always use a new blade

- can’t get ur pussy soft?? shave with hair conditioner and massage it in for like 30 seconds before. after u shave, massage with baby oil, and lotion after a shower

- EXFOLIATE. exfoliating is the key to life. mix used coffee grounds with a moisturizing oil (olive or coconut is best). rub that shit all over your legs before you shave until ur hands start to feel funny

- dry feet?? bih me too. rub a fuck ton of regular lotion (or foot cream if u fancy, even Vaseline works) all over your feet and put double socks (or fuzzy socks) on before bed. yass

- this one is the most basic but pls drink water. it’ll clear ur skin, flush out your kidneys to prevent bladder infections, and ur pussy gonna be wet asf

- salt, fat, caffeine, dairy, etc. r gonna make u taste all funky down there. fruits, veggies, and anything w high water content is gonna make u taste fresh/sweet

- smoking and drinking also gonna make u taste funky. and smoking is especially bad for u, so put out the cig babe

- using soap on ur pussy gonna fuck up ur pH bad. the vagina is a self cleaning device, and all u need is a really soft washcloth (or even a cotton shirt) and some water, let ur body do ur thing

- if ur used to wearing tampons and that’s what u find comfortable, use a menstrual cup! very sanitary and will save u a TON of money in the long run

- want a natural lip plumper?? mix a lil bit of cinnamon and honey, and gently rub it into your lips w a soft toothbrush n leave it on for a min. slather on some chapstick n ur plump n soft

- BUY A VIBRATOR. please do it. it will save ur fucking life

- cotton panties or no panties sis. ur kitty needs to breathe and cotton/no panties will prevent bacterial and fungal infection

- got hair on ur face? got rough skin? GURL SHAVE IT! wash your face as normal and pat dry, gently run a clean razor over any areas (cheeks, chin, neck). tone and moisturize like a motherfucker. smooth!

- pubic hair is healthy and good and keeps ur vag clean! don’t shave it unless YOU want to, don’t leave that decision up to ur nasty man

- allow urself junk in moderation. it’ll make making healthy choices easier if u allow urself a little treat every once in a while

- a simple equation for a good meal: vegetable + grain/carb, protein

- do ur fucking homework and do it on time

- rubbing a little bit of petroleum jelly on ur pressure points before spraying perfume will make it last longer

- hair holds onto scents v easily. wanna smell like a goddess????,,, spritz that hair

- kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick is blowjob proof. get messy n be on point!

- urban decay all nighter setting spray is gonna save ur life. it’ll keep ur shit in place when u getting dicked, if u cryin, chokin on dick, w/e u like to do

- if ur having trouble getting wet even after sufficient foreplay, a little bit of water based lube does WONDERS. also won’t deteriorate condoms (oil) or get gritty (silicone)

- need to stretch out ur shoes?? fill two ziploc bags with water and put them in ur shoes. put shoes in the freezer until water freezes solid, and dethaw with a hairdryer. especially effective on leather!

- having problems deepthroating? make sure ur throat is in line with ur mouth, if it’s not the dick won’t go down

- can’t deepthroat at all? cover ur teeth with ur top lip and press ur tongue to the roof of ur mouth while he thrusts. 10/10!

- communication w ur partner during sex will make it a trillion million times more satisfying

- frizzy hair? put conditioner on the tips of your hair (nape of the neck and down) and shampoo right on ur scalp. volumizes without frizzing!

- this one kinda weird but don’t hold ur pee unless u wanna mean bladder infection/UTI

- pee after u masturbate please. u never know what can shimmy up ur urethra, even when ur playin w the little man in the sailboat

- keep a pair of spare glasses with u for when ur contacts dry out. lifesaver

- always keep extra undies, an extra shirt, makeup remover, moisturizer, and comfy shoes in ur car/bag if u can fit all of it

- apply dry shampoo the night before ur gonna need it. it’ll soak up the oil before it sits on ur hair. reapply in the morning n style accordingly

- apple cider vinegar mixed with water works as a good toner if u ain’t got no moneyyyy

- castor oil on ur brows and lashes every night will make them thicker and longer. even just one day will help (bc they will be shiny and moisturized)

ill probs add onto this when i think of more!

Mom Deals With Local Traffic

When I was a wee thing, my parents moved out the the Highly dubious condo in East Palo Alto and into a relatively nice suburban neighborhood, into a house immediately across the street from my new elementary school.  Immediate, as in, less than 40 feet from the traffic circle.   Mom would wave at me from the driveway sometimes while I was in class.  This should have made getting me to and from school easy, but there was an issue:

I still had to cross the street, and because I was living in the over-caffeinated heart of silicon valley at the time, that meant dodging the local commuters barreling through the school zone at upwards of 40 miles per hour with no regard for the stop signs.

The flashing “School Zone” signs were ignored.  
The city refused to put in speed bumps or devote extra patrol cars.
One of my classmates grandmother’s volunteered as crossing guard, and some jackass in a BMW ran over her foot on the first day.

Now, mom declared as we drove Mrs. Manchez to the hospital her foot in a beer cooler full of ice, Would be a good time to take the law into my own hands.

So after dropping Mrs. Manchez off at the hospital, we drove to the thrift store, where my mom found a navy blazer, aviator sunglasses, a pilot’s cap and an old, clunky-looking hair dryer.  

The next morning, mom went out to the sidewalk in her new “uniform”, with the hair dryer and a legal pad so she could write down the grocery list.  Every time a car would come roaring down the road, Mom would look up, point the hairdryer at them, and, and write something down.  

I remember listening to brakes squeal all day the first time she tried it, Mercedes and BMWs screeching to a crawl as they passed the school, glaring at her.   By that afternoon, cars were creeping along at an over-cautious 10mph, and I was able to get home without taking my life into my hands.

After that, Mom went out “in uniform” every couple of days, because intermittent re-enforcement is what REALLY gets a change in behavior going, and point the hair dryer at anyone speeding through the school zone, usually while writing down grocery lists or short stories, or drawing unflattering caricatures of the other PTA moms.

Eventually, however, one of the cars that came through was a patrol car, and he slowly pulled to a halt in front of mom, glaring at her though his own reflective glasses.

She smiled an waved the hair dryer.  “Good afternoon!”

“…What’re you doing?”  he groaned, 3 in the afternoon entirely too early for this shit.

“Writin’ a grocery list.”  She beamed, and when that failed to satisfy him, she explained about the speeding problem and that if they couldn’t send a partol car out here to ticket people regularly, she figured that a hair dryer would be the next best thing.  Working like a charm so far.  They didn’t even notice the little airplanes on the Pilot’s hat.

The officer stared at her for a moment longer before his face broke out into a slow grin.  “Y’know, when we’re out of a car, we usually wear visibility vests.  So more people see you and your… Phaser.”

And that’s the story of how Mom and Officer Brown met and started the neighborhood watch program.

✨Hoe tips #1 -✨💆🏻

Hope you like my first hoe tips and beauty tips thread! These pearls of wisdom really help me a lot. Let me know what you think.


-💗 COCONUT OIL WILL TURN YOUR HAIR INTO SILK leave on overnight or if u don’t have time use a hairdryer to heat ur hair for 10 minutes for the oil to sink in. Wash with shampoo to make sure the oil is out and enjoy ur beautiful hair

-💗 tie your hair before you sleep and during sex, preferably in a ponytail or a very loose and low bun, if its damaged and tangles/frizzes easily in bed. Trust me this has saved my hair from breaking apart

-💗 chuck out ur foam and shave ur coochie with baby oil hell shave ur whole body with this beautiful oil just be careful not to apply it too close to the vaginal opening as u should only wash that area with water or a feminine wash

-💗 bicarbonate of soda or COFFEE granules are cheap easy and natural face scrubs/masks and will leave ur skin baby soft

-💗 for acne - sudocrem, witch hazel oil, tea tree oil are all cheap and effective

-💗 honey, lemon juice and olive oil mask for acne scars use everyday or every other day for half an hour and keep it up for a few months

-💗 don’t use coconut oil to moisturise ur face it has been proved it blocks ur pores which can cause acne

-💗 always leave spare clean panties, leggings/trackies and a top in ur car so if u stay round someone’s place u can sleep and chill comfortably n keep sexy underwear with u in ur bag just incase

-💗 a cup of apple cider vinegar in your bath will restore ur coochie’s pH to its normal state so less discomfort for u ☺️

-💗 for soft baby feet, pumice the dry heels then coat them with Vaseline and put clean socks over before u sleep and ur bae will be wanting to stroke them all day

-💗if ur into guys, carry condoms in ur purse at all times; don’t expect them to provide them all the time because truth is they don’t always n u don’t wanna be in that position where ur risking ur sexual health

-💗 combo of double wear foundation n urban decay all nighter setting spray is sex proof

-💗 coconut oil is good natural lube for giving head to guys , and the taste is good too.

More to come! ❤️

The ultimate packing list if you are going to study abroad this year

For many of us, the new school year/semester is coming very fast and very soon. For some of us, a new education year is nothing special - you just have to set the alarm clock back into ‘I have got to get up early’ mode and go to school, college, university or however you want to call it.

However, for some of us starting a new year means more. It is related to moving out of home sometimes into a new city or even into a new country. This is related to getting familiar in a new surrounding and starting a new life where you don’t know where to find the best coffee in town, how to ride the bus or how to speak the language (cheers to all langblrs out there ;) ).

For all of you who belong to the second type of people, I dedicate today’s post. Organizing all the things that are related to such a move and saying goodbye to all your loved ones needs enough energy. You should not spend your time thinking about all the items that you need to pack for the big journey. And for this reason, I provide you with the ultimate packing list if you are going to study abroad this year. If you’re missing something that you would never leave at home reblog this post and add your most important travel gadget/item!

With that being said, travel safely and pack wisely ;)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bathroom

  • Bath towels
  • Brush
  • Face wash
  • First-aid kit
  • Flip-flops (in case you have to share your bathroom)
  • Floss
  • Hair straightener (no hairdryer, buy it at your destination)
  • Hand towels
  • Makeup (eyeliner, mascara, foundation, blush etc.)
  • Makeup remover
  • Nail products (nail polish, clippers, file)
  • Patches
  • Pain medication
  • Razor
  • Thermometer
  • Toothbrush
  • Toothpaste
  • Travel-sized shampoo, lotion, deodorant)

Bedroom

  • Alarm clock
  • Blanket
  • Decoration (e.g. pictures of your friends and family)
  • Earplugs
  • Favorite pillow
  • Mattress pad
  • Pillowcases
  • Sleeping mask

Electronics

  • All of your chargers
  • Batteries
  • Calculator
  • Extension leads
  • Headphones
  • Laptop
  • Smartphone
  • USB stick

Kitchen (buy this stuff at your destination)

  • Favorite candy from home
  • Kitchen scale

Misc

  • Bujo or a traveller’s journal
  • Driver’s licence
  • Extra bags
  • Financial aid information
  • Important addresses
  • Luggage tags with your contact details
  • Medical insurance card
  • Passport
  • Passport photos
  • Travel details & confirmation
  • Travel tickets
  • Visa
  • Water bottle
  • Wallet (Cash, coins and credit card)

Outdoor

  • Coat
  • Gloves
  • Hat
  • Jacket
  • Scarf
  • Sunglasses
  • Sun protection
  • Umbrella
  • Water-resistant boots
  • Water-resistant jacket

Wardrobe

  • Accessories (few, please!)
  • Bottoms
  • Blazer
  • Dress
  • Hoodie
  • Jeans
  • Pajamas
  • Shoes
  • Skirt
  • Socks
  • Sportswear and athletic shoes
  • Sweaters
  • Sweat pants
  • Tops
  • Undergarments

Extra tips

  • Before you overload all of your bags contact your university and try to find out which of the items they will provide. Perhaps there is something like a starter kit they offer so you do not have to carry bulky bed or kitchen items with you.
  • Take only your favorite clothes with you. But there is this fancy dress that you own that one day could look so cool? Leave it at home. You won’t wear it. Period.
  • Don’t take things with you that can be easily bought after your arrival. This includes hair dryers, kettles, flat irons, big bags, stationery, kitchen items etc.
  • In case you want to travel with additional luggage ask your airline before your departure date regarding their conditions. There are airlines that offer an online check-in for your additional luggage or a pre registration. If you take advantage of such offers you can save a few coins.
  • Don’t forget to make a (digital) copy of your most important documents and cards!
instagram

Kat Von D’s Vintage western pistol Hairdryer! Looks cool or bad idea?
#steampunktendencies #steampunk #art #amazing #cool #pistol #hairdresser #hairdryer

Made with Instagram
Teen Wolf Preference – He walks in on you naked

Once again, thank you @pissheadofficial, my source of SHARED filthy ideas.

Warnings: Some of them have SLIGHT sexual content (heh what ya think..)

Scott McCall

Scott had a habit to climb through your window at night. You knew roughly what time he used to come by and you decided to change into something more comfortable to sleep in before he arrived, instead of always having to go into the bathroom to change every time.

You started to undress and search for the shorts you use to sleep in when you heard a gust of wind behind you. “Man, now I REALLY don’t regret arriving earlier.” the familiar voice behind you made you turn around in terror.

The smirking face of Scott met yours and you quickly took your dirty shirt and tried to cover your bare body. “Scott!” you squealed with widened eyes and he just nodded in appreciation.

You cursed under your breath as you bend down to gather the rest of your clothes but kept on drop your clothes and Scott still stood in front of your window, smiling proudly as he eyed you up and down. “Stop staring and get out!”

He shook his head and you roared at him, still panicking over your naked body, deciding to run towards the bathroom with or without clothes. You yanked backwards by an overly strong and warm hand gripping around your forearm.

Your naked back flushed against Scott’s chest as he was able to lean in to whisper in your ear. “No, I’m not going anywhere.” panting as he spoke. “You’re coming over here.”

Stiles Stilinski

“Holy-moly!” you got surprised by the slight numb voice of Stiles behind you. You turned around and flinched, realizing you didn’t wore a shirt, neither pants, or a bra, or panties..

“Stiles!” you gasped as you saw him standing in the door opening. His mouth was slightly open and his mesmerized gaze were focused on your body. “I wasn’t prepared for this-” he began and raised his eyebrows.

“But I like it.” he continued with what you thought was him being seductive and approached you. You furrowed your brows as he took a few step forward, his brown eyes almost piercing you were you stood, face slightly red due to his affection.

“I mean, WOW!” Stiles exclaimed with the most flustered face you’ve seen as he gesture towards your body. You followed the motions of his hands just to freeze when your eyes met his crotch.

You let out a muffled giggle, making Stiles look at you in confusion. “Stiles? Is that a boner?” you asked boldly with a smirk, quirking your eyebrows as you met his eyes again.

His gaze moved towards himself and immediately tried to cover it. His face turned even more red as he stumbled backwards towards the door. “Shit, I-” he began and hit his back in the door frame, letting the door guide him out from your room. “B-bye Y/N.”

Liam Dunbar

It was 10 minutes left until Liam’s arrival. You had invited him over to help him study for his test on Friday. You wrinkled your nose after sniffing your armpit, unbuttoned your shirt with one hand, letting the other one trying to open the buckle of your bra.

“I can’t invite him over and smell like crap.” you mumbled to yourself and decided to undress completely just to find a whole new outfit, all from underwear to your favorite over-sized cardigan.

“So I thought about what you’ve said about the combinations of the amino acids and-” Liam were looking intently down in his folders of papers, not realizing what he walked in on. You froze and your eyes widened as you held your clean underwear in your hand, smiling at him always being so unaware of his surroundings.

He closed the door behind you, still not looking at you as you answered him. “-yes Liam?” you replied him, with the most exaggerated seductive voice you could disguise.

Liam turns around slowly, meeting your eyes. You flash him a smirk as you place your hand on your hip as you pop it, twirling your underwear between your fingers.

In what seem to be in slow motion, he drops all his books, papers flying around him as his eyes Liam’s eyes widen, mouth drops and the mortification immediately covers his face as he tries to talk. 

“I-I, I’m-” he stutter before he quickly turns around, opens the door, hits his nose on the frame, leaving a trail of blood before running out from your room. When he close the door behind him you can’t help but let out a giggle.

Brett Talbot

You didn’t hear anything due to the harsh sound of your nearly broken hairdryer. The sound might resemble a nuclear power plant and you didn’t hear that someone had opened your door and stepped in.

Brett caught you in action just in that time when you had blow dried your hair upside down and were flipping your hair back over your shoulders, making it look quite sensual as Brett had seen it in slow motion. “Save that for tonight Y/N.” he purred and you dropped the hair dryer on the floor, almost hitting your foot but flinched in the right second.

“What the hell! What are you doing here? Get out!” you roared in panic and grabbed the wet towel you had hung on the back of the chair beside you, trying to cover your body as Brett pursed his lips into a smirk before stepping backwards out from the room.

“Woah.” Brett sighed for himself, he felt his heart rate increase in his chest when he realized what he had walked in to. He leaned back against the door and thought about how beautiful your naked body were in the daylight. He’d only seen the dark silhouette of it when you had sex during late nights, when your parents were asleep.

Theo Raeken

You’ve told Theo a thousand times not to come to your place until 8 p.m. since you wanted to get home from practice and shower before his arrival.

The clothes you had decided to wear laid properly on the end of your bed, waiting for you to put them on as you stood in front of your bookshelf, taking your brush out from one of the shelves to start to even out the wet tangles in your hair.

“Nice.” the hiss of Theo’s voice made you freeze, then turning around just to see the door to your room were wide open, having him leaning against the door frame. “THEO!” you quickly dive down the floor to look after something to cover your naked body with.

You felt your heart start to pound in your chest as you saw him lick his bottom lip before taking it between his teeth. “What are you doing?” you tried to sound threatening but your voice betrayed you when you spoke.

With a quirk of his eyebrow, he tugged the hem of his shirt, lifting the fabric over his head to let it fall to the floor. He started to striding towards you, having his dark gaze eyeing you up and down as he approached you and with just that look, he was devouring you.

shit my history prof says

some of the bullshit that’s come out of his mouth between my Medieval History and Western Civ 1 transcribed into RP sentence meme form. have a party with it, change pronouns as you need to.

  • “You shouldn’t walk through fire. That’s why God made it so hot.”
  • “Well, I’m ___, so of course I need a GIANT GUN.”
  • “I don’t care what fancy magic armor you wear, if a fat man with no pants hits you with a cleaver, you’re dead.”
  • “He’s like a walking encyclopedia of useless shit.”
  • “___ scared the shit out of everyone back in the day. That’s something that hasn’t changed.”
  • “And it was at that moment I realized there would be no peace.”
  • “YOU’RE THE SHIT!”
  • “At my age, the only thing that scares me is an IRS tax audit.”
  • “You can’t even get me to walk up a block to get a sandwich.”
  • “Come on, it’ll be fun! Do it for Jesus!” 
  • “This is one thing Europe is good at. Exporting violence.”
  • “I’m sorry, I find it a little hard to believe that a bunch of guys smoking hash can attack anything. Unless it’s like, a pie.”
  • “One crossbow bolt later and I learned that toothpaste makes excellent makeshift wall Spackle.”
  • “The question isn’t why or how it could fall, the question is how did it last that long.”
  • “If you haven’t seen a breast yet you need to get out of the house.”
  • “First thing’s first, I’m kind of an asshole.”
  • “And that’s why my girlfriend doesn’t take me out to nice places anymore. Which is good, because I didn’t want to go in the first place.”
  • “Moral of the story? When something isn’t yours, you treat it like shit.” 
  • “I like woodchucks. They’re the fat kids of the forest.”
  • “When the wind blows it’s like Satan’s hairdryer.”
  • “This cognac’s so expensive it’d be cheaper for me to do crack.”
  • “It’s like you know what they’re saying but you’re having a stroke.”
  • “No one likes you when you sleep with their wives and husbands and children.”
  • “Don’t do that. You’ll get warm. Then you’ll get sleepy. Then you’ll get dead.”
  • “This war takes fucking FOREVER.”
  • “It’s like going on a road-trip with Stalin. Like, there are fun times, where you’re in Vegas and drinking together, but then you’re digging your own grave in the desert because he thinks you cheated at blackjack.”
  • “He’s pretty much his sugar daddy.”
  • “Children are like little drunk people.”
  • “If you’re going to go all the way to another country and then still eat McDonald’s, you’re kind of an asshole.”
  • “How many prostitutes can you put in a boat? Let’s find out!” 
  • “I say it’s a dead dog story, but I promise there’s a funny ending.”
  • “It’s like crack, if crack was cheese.”
  • “Picture a Playboy mansion gone wrong.”
  • “It’s like living in some bizarre fantasy porno.”
  • “He smells like something from the X-Files.
  • “There are a lot of ways to die, but not many quite as stylish.”
  • “Why? Aesthetic.”
  • “If you’re looking for a back tattoo this is the one you want.”
  • “Why does he succeed? He has a plan. Sounds stupid, but not many people have one.”
Voltron Youtubers AU Part 2

I am really upset because I had everyone done but then I lost the document so let’s try this again. This’ll only be Hunk and Pidge’s channels then I’ll do Shiro and Allura and finally ending with Keith and Lance. Part 1 here. Part 3 and Part 4.

On Pidge’s channel:

  • Hunk comes over A LOT and they do tech reviews and science talks
    • The tech is more robotics related because of Hunk’s engineering degree
    • Pidge usually ends up so absorbed in their work on a new robot that Hunk does all the talking
      •  Lance says they’ve got it down to a science *fingerguns*
  • Keith is so happy to be on Pidge’s channel where the games actually WORK
    • They talk conspiracies the entire time
    • One time Pidge asked: “Who would you rather marry: Lance or Mothman?”
      • Keith stares at Pidge then the facecam and in a deadpan, “I would take a bullet for Mothman”
      • Not the answer they were hoping for but the shippers hold out hope due to Keith’s blush for the rest of that video
  • Lance and Pidge do Q&As because why not
    • They meme so much together it’s a wonder they get their videos done
    • Pidge always slides innuendos about Keith into their conversations
      • Lance stutters and blushes every time
  • Shiro has done one video with Pidge. About his arm.
    • The entire video is Pidge begging Shiro to let them “upgrade” it
      • “But SHIIIIRO wouldn’t a flamethrower arm be so COOL??”
      • “Pidge NO”
  • When he comes to visit, Matt and Pidge talk tech
    • They usually disagrees so there are TECH BATTLES
      • He’s a smooth operator that throws out logic to stump even Pidge so he usually wins
    • Subscribers love Matt because he is the Best Big Brother
  • Allura and Pidge do HAIR SCIENCE. It’s a thing
    • Allura knows the best straightener, curling iron, and hairdryer for every type of hair and Pidge will tell you why
    • They also love to tell stories about Shiro and Matt’s younger days while Allura takes notes

On Hunk’s channel:

  • Doing collabs with Lance is inevitable when they’re roommates
    • They do best friend and roommate videos
    • One of Hunk’s most popular videos is his Best Friend Tag with Lance
      • “Hey Hunk, best inside joke?”
      • “Trees.” *queue Lance dying of laughter*
      • Subscribers scream for an explanation but the two of them are tight-lipped
  • Videos with Pidge are always interesting
    • The two of them talk tech and upgrade stuff
    • Hunk’s tagline for every video with Pidge is “Don’t try this at home unless you have at least one technology degree.”
    • They turned Hunk’s kitchen into something out of a pro cooking show
  • Shiro is actually the best cook out of them all after Hunk
    • Who do you think kept Keith fed growing up?
    • They cook meals and give life advice for their videos
      • Allura is always waiting in the background to taste-test and/or give commentary
    • Shiro is lowkey jealous of Hunk’s pro kitchen
  • Coran appears in a few of Hunk’s cooking videos
    • Usually it ends up with Hunk trying to salvage Coran’s attempt
    • But it always ends up looking like green goo
      • “I don’t understand how it’s green. We literally used no green ingredients.”


I’ve got more but that’s all for now. Like I said Shallura and Klance incoming. If you have any questions about the AU, just send me an ask.

And if anyone wants to write fanfic or draw or do anything with this AU, GO FOR IT! Please tag me though so I can see it and love it!

anonymous asked:

Dan's new live video @ 5:01, there's definitely some hair straighteners on the floor

i have a few things to say, but i’ll start from left to right. 

a) i loved his face when someone pointed out the candle on the other night table, idk he was just so taken aback. like “… oh yeah! single candle… the bedroom candle…” 

b) i love the bed, it’s so pretty. everything just looks neat? besides from the bloody awful curtains; the moon mirror, the frame of the bed, it’s all lovely. 

c) what is that black box my dude. is that the new box of secrets? what is that about.

d) why does he have the stupid rockband drum set in the bedroom, i thought the consoles were upstairs? no, Hold the fuck up, the DRUMSET used to be upstairs!! I’M SURE OF IT. have u guys put a tv in the bedroom and carried all the consoles downstairs so you could play lying on the bed? that’s peak lazyness, i’m so disappointed in you both. 

e) ah yes, the dryson hairdryer. that shit is full 200 pounds. they have the hair dryer and two dryson fans, this is rich commodity in its finest. i wonder if they have the hoover as well, that one looks amazing and everyone says it’s actually totally worth the thousand dollars. 

f) the straighteners and the concept of this being proof. i think that at this point, it’s just funny to me that it’s a topic we have to talk about, the straighteners were on the floor last time he did a liveshow in the room and i thought that was it, right? i feel like people just forget things happen and/or act as if we don’t know they share a bedroom! i mean, do as you please, but i’d like skip ahead into the part where we accept it’s a thing and we let this be the normal, status quo, this is what it is you know? still lovely to be reminded that they do though, i get ya.

g) what is the white thing hanging from that awful curtain, what is it. i need answers.

h) in what fucking moment did both of them hoard so many pairs of shoes. i swear to god, all dan wears is those ones with the zips and phil wears the blue ones and that’s about it. but im counting here over 20 pairs of shoes, and they even want us to believe that they’re owned by just dan? try me again, what the hell is this, they need to start giving to charity, there is NO WAY they find use to over 20 pair of shoes, you do not need that many, specially when you spend most of your life at home wearing socks.

i) it’s funny that even though the mess that was the last time he did a liveshow in his room, with phil’s damage control and all, the mirror is still there, like whatever my dude. cool white mirror dan. 

i think that’s all, thanks for reading if u made it this far. 

Hickeys (Smut)

MASTERLIST

Request: Can you do a smut where you wake up next to shawn after a hot night and he wakes you up with hickeys and morning sex ? (Obviously you gave him consent to wake you up like this before haha) ?

Word Count: 1,773

Hickeys

I felt the sunlight from the window burn into my skin. Whenever Shawn was the last one to go to bed, he always forgot shutting the curtains. It never woke him up when the room started to become light, but it always ended up pulling me out of my sleep.

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