this is a feast for my eyes

Tears fall from my eyes as I fear the pain he will inflict on me. “No, no, no. There will be none of that,” he says as he wipes them away with his gloved hand. “You are way too special to me…way too special to float with all the others.” “Will you let me go?” I ask. He smiles and shakes his head. Pennywise says, “Once my feasting is done, I will take you into my cocoon for our long sleep.” “What will happen until then?” I ask. He replies, “Until then, my dearest, we will mate.” His face softens as he leans in and kisses me with his full, red lips. His kiss is intoxicating and I cannot resist. As our lips part, I feel the first pangs of arousal. Pennywise smiles, then whispers, “And now my precious girl, it is time to make you my queen.”

i really can’t wait until the day i wake up from a refreshing eight hours of sleep only to open my phone to check the latest in social media and feast my eyes upon the headline “woody allen has died after massive fall down ten flights of steps” like i’m shaking just thinking about the joy

Types as Disney Villains

NOTE: Continuation to Types as Disney Heroines where I showcased the strengths of each type. This time, I’m focusing on the downsides and what the types may look like when unhealthy or looping.

ISTP - Aloof. Vulgar. Aggressive. Cold-hearted.

Originally posted by southernretardation

“I tire of your arrogance, old man. Bow to me!”


ESTP - Possessive. Boastful. Disrespectful. Immature.

Originally posted by all-things-disney-gifs

“Were you in love with her, Beast? Did you honestly think she’d want you, when she had someone like me?”


INTP - Lazy. Untrustworthy. Awkward. Cynical.

Originally posted by disneydeviants

“He’s gotta have a weakness, because everybody’s got a weakness. I mean, for what? Pandora, it was the box thing. For the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay?”


ENTP - Facetious. Moody. Noisy. Obnoxious.

Originally posted by idlestrology

“Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives, I’ll smash it with a hammer!”

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The signs as self titled Harry Styles album lyrics

Aries:  She sits beside me like a silhouette, hard candy dripping on me ‘til my feet are wet"

Taurus:  “This thing upon me, howls like a beast. You flower, you feast”

Gemini: “But we’re still young, we don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong “

Cancer : “I’ve been praying, I never did before, understand I’m talking to the walls”

Leo: “Open up your eyes, shut your mouth and see that I’m still the only one who’s been in love with me”

Virgo: “She’s got a book for every situation, gets into parties without invitations, how could you ever turn her down?”

Libra “Just stop your crying have the time of your life, breaking through the atmosphere”

Scorpio: “ I’m selfish, I know. I told you, but I know you never listen”

Sagittarius: “Tongue-tied like we’ve never known, telling those stories we already told, 'cause we don’t say what we really mean”

Capricorn: “We don’t talk about it, it’s something we don’t do. 'Cause once you go without it, nothing else will do”

Aquarius: “ Why won’t you ever say what you want to say? Even my phone misses your call, by the way”

Pisces: “Taste so sweet, look so real, sounds like something that I used to feel, but I can’t touch what I see”

Sassy McGonagall

Like Harry, Minerva McGonagall seems to have hit her stride in Order of the Phoenix.

CS:

“Why didn’t you send us a letter by owl? I believe you have an owl?” Professor McGonagall said coldly to Harry. 

Harry gaped at her. Now she said it, that seemed the obvious thing to have done. 

“I – I didn’t think –” 

“That,” said Professor McGonagall, “is obvious.”

CS:

“Really, Severus,” said Professor McGonagall sharply. “I see no reason to stop the boy playing Quidditch. This cat wasn’t hit over the head with a broomstick.”

PA:

“You look in excellent health to me, Potter, so you will excuse me if I don’t let you off homework today. I assure you that if you do die, you need not hand it in.”

PA:

Professor McGonagall poked a large spoon into the nearest tureen. “Tripe, Sybil?”

PA:

“But one does not parade the fact that one is All-Knowing. I frequently act as though I am not possessed of the Inner Eye, so as not to make others nervous.”

“That explains a great deal,” said Professor McGonagall tartly.

OP:

“Didn’t you listen to Dolores Umbridge’s speech at the start of term feast, Potter?”

“Yeah,” said Harry.

“Yeah… she said… progress will be prohibited or… well, it meant that… that the Ministry of Magic is trying to interfere at Hogwarts.”

“Well, I’m glad you listen to Hermione Granger at any rate,” she said, pointing him out of her office.

OP:

“I was just wondering, Professor, whether you received my note telling you of the date and time of your inspec–”

“Obviously I received it, or I would have asked you what you are going in my classroom,” said Professor McGonagall.

OP:

“I wonder,” said Professor McGonagall in cold fury, turning on Professor Umbridge, “how you expect to gain an idea of my usual teaching methods if you continue to interrupt me? You see, I do not generally permit people to talk when I am talking.”

OP:

“Very well,” [Umbridge] said, “you will receive the results of your inspection in ten days’ time.”

“I can hardly wait,” said Professor McGonagall, in a coldly indifferent voice,

OP:

“I should have made my meaning plainer,” said Professor McGonagall, turning at last to look Umbridge directly in the eyes. “He has achieved high marks in all Defence Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher.”

OP:

“Well, usually when a person shakes their head,” said McGonagall coldly, “they mean “‘no’”. So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign-language as yet unknown to humans –”

OP:

“Dear, dear,” said Professor McGonagall sardonically, as one of the dragons soared around her classroom, emitting loud bangs and exhaling flame. “Miss Brown, would you mind running along to the Headmistress and informing her that we have an escape firework in our classroom?”

HBP:

"Take Charms,” said Professor McGonagall, “and I shall drop Augusta a line reminding her that just because she failed her Charms O.W.L., the subject is not necessarily worthless.”

DH:

“Our headmaster is taking a short break,“ said Professor McGonagall, pointing at the Snape-shaped hole in the window.

Kiwi

Originally posted by fearless-man

Inspired by Harry Styles’ song ‘Kiwi’. Just an one shot without any connections to other stories I’ve written. Hope you enjoy!

Warning: Smut

She’s driving me crazy, but I’m into it, but I’m into it
I’m kinda into it
It’s getting crazy, I think I’m losing it, I think I’m losing it

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Howls Like a Beast (You Flower, You Feast) 

 - by Anonymous

“You don’t love me,” Louis had said, utterly blasé as he callously fractured the heart of a Harry that was just barely eighteen.

“I do,” Harry had insisted pleadingly, green eyes already watering.

Louis had rolled his eyes, exasperated and flippant in the way only beautiful, young boys could be when faced with the affections of a baby prince. He had run his finger down Harry’s cheek then, had forced him to look into his eyes as he delivered the final blow.

“You’ll change your mind once you’ve seen more of the world,” Louis had teased, pressing a brutally delicate kiss onto Harry’s lovely, pure cheek. “Once you’ve been properly defiled.” He had whispered filthily, delighted by the gasp he heard, the frantic pink blush that had rested high on Harry’s cheeks, the power he had felt at knowing he could make the Crown Prince squirm.


I was so excited by the premise of this fic when the author asked me to contribute a drawing for it. But then she let me read it and I was blown away by the sensuality and beauty of the writing. This story is achingly good…keep an eye on this author, her writing is something truly special. 

Art by @twopoppies​ - thank you to @haztattlou for helping me with the framing!

Written for @31daysofsmut​ read it on AO3 now!

There’s no such thing as the Dark Ages, but OK

As a very serious adult, with a respectable career and life, and a healthy ability to let petty shit slide, I spent much too much time last week arguing with strangers on the internet who believe in the myth of the Dark Ages.

The arguments in question focused on a massively inaccurate meme, which some observers of the group pointed out was originally supposed to be about knowledge loss after the burning of the Library of Alexandria, but which some very cool EDGE LORD had changed to be about ‘The Christian Dark Ages’. Please feast your eyes on it in all it’s massive wrongness:

This is, pretty obviously, a bunch of honkey bullshit and also massively incorrect, as many important scholars have noted. As a result, I spent hours of my life – which I will never get back -  pointing out repeatedly that the ‘graph’ in question has nothing to do with reality, and arguing with non-experts about the medieval period.

For the most part – these people were well-meaning. Many pointed out that this was a very Euro-centric world view, and that Asia, Africa, and the Arab world were all making huge advancements in scientific and medical theory at this time. That is absolutely true. White people have never been the entire world. The Chinese had a massively advanced scientific culture by this time, for example, and had been holding it down with hermetically sealed research laboratories since the third century BCE. The Arab world, meanwhile was compiling treatises on eye surgery. Scientific advancement was something that was happening in this period. Europe is not the centre of the world.

Having said that, while it is important to acknowledge that the-rest-of-the-world was making huge strides in scientific advancement during this time, and that Europe and white people are not the entire world, nor responsible for all of human advancement, there was no such thing as the Dark Ages in Europe either.

While everything about the idea of the Dark Ages is incorrect, lets start off with the way the term was meant to be used. The totally ignorant graph above, unsurprisingly, is completely fucking off. Hilariously, the idea of the ‘Dark Ages’ actually originated in the medieval period itself. Petrarch – the poet laureate of fourteenth-century Rome - was actually the originator of the idea that there was a period of stagnation that Europe was moving out of. Petrarch had a political axe to grind. He considered that any point at which Rome – where he lived and worked and had considerable sway – did not completely dominate the world was a BAD TIME. This is not an unbiased assessment of world history.

The actual phrase ‘Dark Ages’ itself derives from the Latin saeculum obscurum, which Caesar Baronius – a cardinal and Church historian - came up with around 1602. He applied the term exclusively to the tenth and eleventh centuries.  However, and very significantly in his use of the term, Baronius was not decrying a state of scientific malaise, or a particularly turbulent political period – he’s talking about a lack of sources surviving from that time.  Indeed, Baronius sees the cut off point for the dark ages to be the Gregorian reforms of 1046, following which we see a massive increase in surviving documentation. Witness an actual useful chart:

When we move into a period where there are more texts to be considered, Baronius argues, Europe moved out of the period of darkness and into a ‘new age’.*

Now this is some real talk. As you can tell from that graph, during the Carolingian Renaissance of the ninth century, we see a flurry of Latin writers emerge, and a lot of text copying. This drops off again until what we term the Twelfth-Century Renaissance – home to this blog’s favourite philosopher/proto-Kanye –  Abelard. (Shout out to my boy.) However, when people use the term ‘Dark Ages’ now, they usually use it to talk about the entire millennium of the Medieval period, and they aren’t talking about source survival.  They aren’t thinking ‘dark’ as in ‘occluded’, they are thinking ‘dark’ as in pejorative.

We can thank the Enlightenment historiography for the expansion of the idea that the medieval period was a bad dark time. Kant and Voltaire in particular liked to see themselves as a part of an ‘Age of Reason’ as opposed to what they saw as the ‘Age of Faith’ of the medieval period. To their way of thinking, any time that the Church was in power was a time of regressive thinking. The Middle Ages, then, was a dark time because it was so dominated by religion. 

The first push back against the term dark ages began with the Romantics. After the, um, unpleasantness of the Reign of Terror, and the major cultural and environmental upheavals of the Industrial Revolution it became fashionable to look at the medieval period as a time of spiritual focus, and environmental purity. Obviously this is a super-biased way of looking at the period – just like it was biased for Enlightenment thinkers to take one look at the primacy of the Church and declare an entire millennium to be bad. I mean, really what the Romantics were doing was just casting shade on the Enlightenment historiography because they felt like it inevitably led to the guillotine. But what can you do?

By the twentieth century historians had moved on from the idea pretty much completely. If you take the time to actually, you know, study the medieval period, it becomes very apparent very quickly that there was a tremendous amount of intensive thought happening. This is the era of Thomas Aquinas – a bad ass philosopher who will think you under the fucking table. Of Hildegard of Bingen – who basically founded scientific natural history in the German speaking lands. Hell, like we talked about last week Rogerius and Giles of Corbeil were throwing it down for major medical advancement. There was a lot going on. On the real, without the contributions of medieval thinkers you would not get Galileo, Newton, or the Scientific Revolution. The medieval period was not a period of stagnation, it was a time of progress.

But it’s not just that the idea of a ‘Dark Ages’ makes no sense when you look at what incredible advancement was happening at the time, it also makes no sense because it implies that stuff was going really well under the Romans. We estimate that somewhere between thirty to forty percent of the population of Italian Rome were slaves. The Romans had total bans on human dissection, meaning that there was no real way for medicine to progress any further than it had by the time of collapse – a problem that medieval people didn’t have. I mean even if you just want to make it about religion - the Roman Empire was Christian at the time of its collapse and had its heads of state worshipped as LITERAL GODS during the pagan era. Somehow every edgy motherfucker with a fedora is totally cool with this and thinks it is super reasonable though. Because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. The Romans were not a bunch of really awesome people living a life of idealised rationality any more than medieval people were all ignorant savages living in fear of God.

Is there a time that historians use the term ‘Dark Ages’? Yeah, we do use it to talk about source survival rates. It’s not a term we use as a value judgment, however. We just mean that we don’t have a lot of evidence to go off of. By the same token – if we somehow move on to another electronic format without converting the way things are stored now, we could be moving into a theoretical Digital Dark Age, where historians in the future won’t be able to study what we are writing now. (And that would be a tragedy, because legit, I would kill to be a historian working on Donald Trump’s tweets in the year 2717.)

We’re now moving away from using the term Dark Ages at all, however, because of the frequency with which it is misinterpreted. I mean, if every basic motherfucker out there who never bothered to read God’s Philosophers (hat tip to James Hamman – this book is amazing) will insist on willfully misinterpreting us, we just ain’t gonna give them the ammo.

What it comes down to is that the medieval period was as vibrant as any other period of history. If you’re going to player hate, go ahead, but please don’t act like you know anything about either medieval or ancient history when you do. There is no period of rational supermen followed by ignorant monsters. There are just people doing their best in the circumstances.

* Caesar Baronius, Annales Ecclesiastici Vol. X. (Rome, 1602), p. 647. “Novum incohatur saeculum quod, sua asperitate ac boni sterilitate ferreum, malique exudantis deformitate plumbeum, atque inopia scriptorum, appellari consuevit obscurum.”

Full on Love pt.1

Thor x plus size/chubby fem. reader 

a/n: super fluffy. mentions of alcohol and getting drunk. Part 2 I’m hoping to add some smut, we’ll see. My first chubby/curvy/plus size reader fic! Also I prefer long hair Thor (I’m still sad over his new haircut)

Summary: The reader is new to the team. Thor can’t keep his eyes off of her.  

Originally posted by unchartedghoul

“Good morning Thor!”

“Good morning Lady y/n, you are looking lovely as always.”

“Thank you.” you said, while continuing to mix the batter you were preparing.

You shook your head, smiling. He was always such a sweetheart. You had just got out of bed, wearing only a tank top and cute sleeping shorts. You weren’t sure what Thor’s idea of lovely is, but you thanked him anyway.

“I was about to make french toast, would you like some?” you asked, as he rummaged through the fridge.  


Thor peeked his head over the refrigerator door, “I would!“ 

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10

I made this for my own amusement and entertainment.
Of course tomorrow the place will be plastered with better quality captures, but for tonight, whoever need this, feast your eyes on freshly Misha Collins pictures.
Even in low resolution this man is killing me.
Now, the mandatory cold shower after the manipulation of Misha… Pictures.
Ok bye

2

Up here where the slope was steepest, the steps wound back and forth rather than plunging straight down. Sansa Stark went up the mountain, but Alayne Stone is coming down. It was a strange thought. Coming up, Mya had warned her to keep her eyes on the path ahead, she remembered. “Look up, not down,” she said … but that was not possible on the descent. I could close my eyes. The mule knows the way, he has no need of me. But that seemed more something Sansa would have done, that frightened girl. Alayne was an older woman, and bastard brave.

― A Feast for Crows, Alayne II

8

His uncle Gerion liked to set him on the table during feasts and make him recite them. I liked that well enough, didn’t I? Standing there amongst the trenchers with every eye upon me, proving what a clever little imp I was. For years afterward, he had cherished a dream that one day he would travel the world and see Longstrider’s wonders for himself.
Lord Tywin had put an end to that hope ten days before his dwarf son’s sixteenth nameday, when Tyrion asked to tour the Nine Free Cities, as his uncles had done at that same age. “My brothers could be relied upon to bring no shame upon House Lannister,” his father had replied. “Neither ever wed a whore.” And when Tyrion had reminded him that in ten days he would be a man grown, free to travel where he wished, Lord Tywin had said,No man is free. Only children and fools think elsewise. Go, by all means. Wear motley and stand upon your head to amuse the spice lords and the cheese kings. Just see that you pay your own way and put aside any thoughts of returning.”

4

Now, she told herself, I must do it now. Gods give me courage. She took one step, then another. Lords and knights stepped aside silently to let her pass, and she felt the weight of their eyes on her. I must be as strong as my lady mother. ― Sansa V, A Game of Thrones.


Crows will fight over a dead man’s flesh and kill each other for his eyes.“ Lord Rodrik stared across the sea, watching the play of moonlight on the waves. "We had one king, then five. Now all I see are crows, squabbling over the corpse of Westeros.” He fastened the shutters. “Do not go to Old Wyk, Asha. Stay with your mother. We shall not have her long, I fear.”

Asha shifted in her seat. “My mother raised me to be bold. If I do not go, I will spend the rest of my life wondering what might have happened if I had." ― The Kraken’s Daughter, A Feast for Crows.

4

Such beauty, such grace………. *sigh*