“I started the album end of Feb last year for about three weeks and then had to stop for about 5 months when I went to do a movie. I came back to it in July and finished writing it in December. For a while before all I thought about it was stressing about what it was going to be. It gave me a chance to completely step away from it for a bit and have a real break. By the end of the movie, because we were swimming so much I just wanted to write songs…I think we wrote about 70 songs - we did 50 songs and ideas in Jamaica and that’s including like little ideas. Well full songs, I say there are 30 songs probably. One of the songs on the album, I wrote a few years ago.”
On his album
“I was with the guys who I was writing it with and we just wanted to make what we wanted to listen to and that has been the most fun part for me about making the whole album. In the least weird way possible, it’s my favourite album to listen to at the moment… I hope we did a good job but I really like the album so I hope people like it. I think if you put out something that you don’t stand behind and really love, then if it doesn’t go well then you could regret not doing what you wanted to do. Whereas if nothing happens with it, I love it you know so I think that’s what you should do. I think that’s been my favourite part to the overall thing is listening to the album and making all the changes – it has been fun to watch over it all.”
Writing in Jamaica
“I just wanted to not be somewhere that I’d get distracted. It was 360 of writing, you’d go home for dinner, write at the house then go back to the studio. I liked being away from everything and doing it like that.”
About his debut single
“It’s a bit weird, I feel like I’ve been hibernating for so long now and you hear it in the safety of the studio and now it’s time to give birth … it’s the song (debut single) I’m most proud of writing.”
About making it on his own
“I’ve been hibernating trying to get it all ready, that’s been fun, but I like this bit as well. I think it’s gonna be fun, it’s gonna be good. It’s not like I’m travelling on my own now, I have a band and everything and they’re amazing.”
“I played him (Sheeran) a few songs after the album was finished. He didn’t say that he didn’t like any, but he did like one song that isn’t on the album. So I did have a bit of a minute of like hmmm no but…”
“I’ve spoken to her a little bit, she knows one of the guys that I wrote it with (his music) a lot. But I don’t think so much advice, I just like how she does stuff. I think she leads by example, she’s the biggest, she’s amazing, she’s the best so she should be the biggest. The thing with her is she’s a different thing, she’s just good at it, I like how she does everything, it looks very nice. For my 21st she gave me one of her albums 21 and said, ‘I did some pretty cool stuff when I was 21, good luck’ and I was like, 'geez’.”
“I haven’t dated in a long time really because I went away to do the movie then did the album so I haven’t in a while. I have a couple of candles left still though.
Whether dating when famous is hard
“I don’t know, maybe. I feel like with all of the stuff how people date now, with all online stuff, I feel like you can do that (Google) with anyone really if you’re looking at someone’s profile before seeing them. It’s kinda the same… No, I used to (research dates), then I said I’m not going to do that anymore, it’s impossible to go in without a perception of someone and you’ve never met them and I started feeling like that was wrong and weird. I think I snore, and also I quite like routine, so I don’t know if I’m incredibly spontaneous.”
Cutting his hair for Dunkirk
“I felt very naked for a while. I was like yeah, I’ve gotta shave my hair off. It wasn’t a hard decision, it got made into a wig.”
Why he rarely tweets
“I don’t like saying something for the sake of it.”
Life at home and work
“The first time I went home not wearing trainers, I was in a pair of boots. Someone said, ‘What the bloody hell are they?’ I like to separate working and being at home with family.”
“It’s easier in the way that I like to separate stuff from working and being at home with family and stuff. When you separate it it’s easier to see it for what it is. When you let it become everything and that’s your whole life, then it’s easy to get a bit lost in it. I’m lucky, I have amazing friends and my family’s amazing so I think they make it easier to keep the separation between the two which makes it easier for me.”
Being nervous about playing his music to others
“I think it’s nerve-racking in that I’ve only played it to like 10 people in a room. I try and not be there if I’m playing it…”
His mother and step-father’s reactions to the album
“I played the album to them the first time and there’s one song that’s got a vocal effect on it, the whole album finished then my stepdad said: ‘I’ve one question, where did you get the duck from, how did you get a duck in the studio?’ I was like: ‘That was me, thanks’. My Mum liked it which was handy. She cried a couple of times which was good, I think that was good.”
“I think it’s hard to not have influencers from what you grew up listening on. I think everyone reacts differently to different types of music. I had a good range between my mum and dad… my dad listened to Fleetwood, The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd and Queen. My mum was like Norah Jones and Savage Garden. There are a lot of melodies there.”
Being starstruck by other celebrities
“I remember the first time we went to an awards show in the US, we met Will Smith. It was a brief meeting – he was nice and very tall.”
Addressing the rumour about getting a sheep placenta facial
“No I’ve never had a sheep placenta facial.”
Rumours about Hobama
“I’m not allowed to talk about that.”
Rumour on taking his dates on helicopter rides
“No I’ve never done that,” Harry says, with Grimmy responding: “Not even with Barack?”
“No,“ Harry says. “It was his helicopter, haha.”
Talking about Chris Martin
“He’s lovely isn’t he? He is good at telling you to take care of yourself. I think he makes sure you are alright and is very zen. I think he is a pretty wonderful man.”
On Ronnie Wood
“Big fan, I love Ronnie Wood – I think I met him at a dinner party a few years ago and went to a couple of Stones shows…I think he is the nicest.”
Interviewing Paul McCartney for his Another Man issue
“It was amazing – his voice sounds like a song.”
Loving scented candles
“I mean I think everyone loves scented candles. But I usually take one from home if I’m travelling.”
About sprouts being the new kale
“I went two days ago. I got some spinach, eggs, OJ, milk, turkey and some brussels sprouts. Hmm what else did I buy…oh some Crème Eggs. I like putting sprouts in a curry and I like sauteing them. I think they are going to be the new kale. I met [someone] and I asked her what she did and she said ‘I’m the PR lady for Kale’ and I was like ‘good job then.”
Talking about his four nipples
“Still got them, managed to keep them. Maybe I just hide them in limited edition albums, like golden tickets. I’ll hold onto them.”
“Best trait I don’t know, it’s weird to pick your best, shall we go with the nipples thing.”
On where not to ask him for a selfie
“I think in toilets is the weirdest one. It’s happened a couple of times… When someone tries to shake your hand right after having a wee, ‘I might wash my hands first’.”
About Liam’s son and being a potential godfather
“I spoke to Liam and he’s loving it. He said it’s going really well and everyone’s great. So I’m very happy for him. I think it’s a roll of the dice, there are a lot of people Liam has in mind. I’m not going to add any extra pressure. If it came my way I would be honoured.”
This is a One Shot about Harry being your best friend and falling asleep on top of you. Unfortunately, that’s the exact time your friend decides to talk about how obvious it is that you have feelings for each other.
Y/N would have never imagined the amount of attention being Harry’s best friend would bring. There’s also always speculations, suspicions that the two might be more than friends, given the fact that when they go out, it’s like they might as well be joined at the hip. Where Harry is on a day off, Y/N is sure to follow, and the paparazzi gets pictures of it all. But Y/N’s always been just a friend. It’s not like she trails behind him like a puppy, no. Harry just always loves having her around, finds comfort in the way she talks to him without a hint of glorification. Tracing back to the beginning of their friendship, Y/N didn’t tip toe around Harry, trying to make sure to not say the wrong thing, never really made impressing Harry a priority. And Harry really appreciated that.
And the relentless bother and questions of “are you two dating?” doesn’t end with the public, no, it continues, and probably gets more intense coming from their group of friends.
Whenever Y/N steps away from Harry’s side, there’s always one of the boys whispering to him about how they’re sure she’s got him wrapped around her pretty little finger. How at the call of his name, Harry never thinks twice about dropping everything and tending to her wants and needs. They make it sound awful in a way, as if Y/N is always needy of Harry and demanded his attention. But they don’t mean it like that really, just like bothering him about it, specially because he gets all worked up in trying to defend her.
They even comment about how they’ve taken notice to the fact Harry’s smile can stretch for miles at the mention of her name, which Harry has never denied. Only nods his head in amusement at the fact others notice.
And maybe their secret little escapes to what they refer to as “friend dates” are no help. They’ll be having a night in on the sofa, Harry sat at the edge of it, elbow propped on the arm rest, mindlessly scrolling through texts and thumbs swift on the screen, typing replies to friends. And obviously Y/N’s with him, lying down and feet resting on his lap, her head flat on the cushion, eyes shut because she quite enjoys just lying about in a silent room, knowing Harry’s there. And it’s not until he shuffles to stand up, pushing her legs off him in the process, that she opens her eyes and follows his body across the room where he doubles over to slip on his YSL boots before he goes for his coat. With a small whisper of “ye’ comin’?” Y/N is sure to follow his steps. Most nights like that they end up in some random bar or restaurant, sat on a stool or a booth, laughing and eating. Harry will often opt to sit next to her rather than in front, taking the chance to lay his head on her shoulder. Even kiss at her neck sometimes.
And when the boys catch a glimpse of the paparazzi photos taken of them all cuddly on a random Tuesday night at a local cafe, Harry’s phone just about overloads with texts from Niall going on about “I knew it!” And “just ask her, man!”
So no, it’s not out of the ordinary for Louis to make a ‘wuh-PSSSH’ sound followed by something snarky like “so whipped, mate. And she’s not even ye’ girlfriend,” when he notices Harry’s stare trailing to where Y/N goes as she makes breakfast for the lot. Harry tries to disregard the comment as Louis takes a seat next to him at the kitchen island.
“What’re you guys going on about over there?” Y/N asks, giggling to herself, “got Harry blushing and all.”
And of course with no chill what so ever, Liam pats Harry on the back, a devilish smile playing on his lips, “Harry here has found himself head over heels.”
Y/N can’t deny that her heart sinks a little at that, but she doesn’t let it faze her, or at least she doesn’t show it. “Really?? Oh who is she??”
“Yeah, Harry! Tell our lovely Y/N who’s the lucky woman!” Harry would hope Niall would be the one not to indulge in his current tormenting.
But Harry can only look at Y/N, her eyes locked on his from across the room. And Harry swears he’s never seen her look at him the way she is right now.
And the boys don’t mean to over tease him this time, just wish he’d finally let it out and tell her because they’re rather sure Y/N feels the same. It’s hard not to notice the way she looks at him, eyes full of adoration and dare they say, love.
When the air has fallen silent for far too long, Liam decides to change the subject for Harry’s sake and stands up to give Y/N a hand with the pouring of the beverages.
“You two have gotten to the point where you grocery shop together.” Liam starts again when Y/N steps away for more milk, “you cook together. You do laundry together. You’re always going on dates. You go with her for manis and pedis, and I’m sure you enjoy it, too.”
“So wha’?? I like spendin’ time with her.” Harry doesn’t really see why that’s so bad, being whipped and all.
“You sleep together,” Louis chimes in, “hell, wouldn’t be surprised if you showered together.”
Now that’s just nonsense.
“Sod off ye’ prick.”
It’s been a few weeks since the day Y/N found out Harry’s interested in someone. And she’d be lying if she said it doesn’t keep her awake at night. Awake while she’s lying next to Harry because of the fact that they’d much rather sleep together than alone. But when she looks over at him, she can’t help but smile.
She’s lying on her side, eyes tracing his, rid of any wrinkles they get when he smiles or frowns. They trace all of him. From his eyes to his eyebrows, then his cheeks and to his nose, where she kisses lightly, careful not to wake him. He only crinkles it for a short second, to which she only smiles. Her eyes linger down his neck, tracing every muscle and crevice until she’s looking at the tattoos on his chest, the steady rise and fall of it has her breathing adapting to his.
It’s when she looks at his parted bubble gum pink lips that she raises a hand, her index finger ghosting over his bottom lip. The touch has Harry stirring, eyes open for a moment before he puckers his lips to peck her finger, a smile on his face. He flutters his eyes shut for a second before resting his hand on her waist and rubbing his thumb gently on the exposed skin. He moans in content, pulls her body closer to his and rests his lips on her hair line.
“Go t'sleep, pet.”
And why oh why did she ever think some friendly flirting and bed sharing with her best friend could never lead to any emotional attachment.
The cuddles haven’t stopped. Harry’s lingering kisses and hugs haven’t stopped. The boys teasing on Harry behind Y/N’s back hasn’t stopped. Y/N sleeping in Harry’s bed hasn’t stopped. And Y/N’s constant self reminder that Harry might just be in love with someone else has not stopped.
If she’s being quite honest, she’s not liking the way the boys snicker and whisper to Harry when she walks off. And she really doesn’t like how whatever and whoever they’re whispering about is making Harry blush and smile sheepishly like crazy. Wishes she knew what they’re always being so secretive about. But giving it a second thought, maybe she doesn’t wanna know. It’s all the same to her now though.
The movie on the telly doesn’t seem to distract her anymore, not from her thoughts which are taking over her mind the more time she spends in Harry’s home. And to add to that, the second she steps back into the room with a bowl of popcorn the boys go silent. It makes her feel awful…left out, but she’s sure they don’t mean to do it. She should be thankful right? At least they’re nice enough not to talk about Harry’s girl in front of her, or maybe that’s just something she wants to believe.
“Oh popcorn.” Niall’s first to reach out and grab a handful before she’s even had the chance to get to her seat next to Harry.
“Thanks, love.” Harry whispers, kissing her cheek the second she sits down.
She notices out of the corner of her eye how Louis smirks and nods his head when Harry wraps his arm around her shoulder. What’s so funny??
The moment Harry presses another kiss to the top of her head is the moment she realizes she’s had enough. It’s the moment she realizes she can’t keep pretending and letting herself fall even more. Not after what Liam said.
“I have to go. It’s getting pretty late.” This catches everyone off guard, especially Harry.
When she stands up to leave, his fingers around her wrist are quick to make her stop and have her look down at him, still sat on the sofa. “Wha’ do ye’ mean? Ye’ always spend the night, poppet.”
His brows are furrowed now, grip tight on her wrist, fearing that if he loosens it she might just slip away.
Of course they can’t ignore the other people in the room though, so when Y/N’s eyes avert to the boys, Harry is quick to stand up and lead them away.
“Everythin’ a'right?” His eyes scan hers for answers, his hand now cupping her neck, thumb rubbing soothingly at her jaw.
The cool of his rings on her skin keep her at ease. But the uncertainty in her eyes has Harry feeling all types of useless.
“Tell me wha’s wrong, little one. Wha’ can I do to make ye’ feel better?”
And those words would have made no sense if it wasn’t for the sudden feeling of Harry wiping away a stray tear she didn’t notice she’d shed.
She can’t. She can’t break down. Not in front of him. What can she say for him to let her go??
“Nothing’s wrong, Harry.”
But she’s sure he doesn’t believe her, not one bit. He knows her too well.
And she can tell he’s about to say something else, and she knows if she lets him, she’s sure to fall back into whatever they have.
“I’ve really got to go. I’ve got a date in an hour and I have to go get ready.”
As much bullshit of an excuse as that is, Harry’s grip on her wrist loosens, and the hand on her neck falls.
And she takes the opportunity to slip out the door.
Thanks to @interfectorems for being such a good friend, supporter and for requesting this. Songs that are mentioned but not on the playlist are “Out of the Woods” by Taylor Swift & “If You don’t Know” by 5Sos.
Pic of this beauty isn’t mine.
I watched from a far how he held on to her hand, his fingers grasping and squeezing hers gently while his eyes never left her pretty face. He watched her speak with such an intensity in his green eyes, as if he literally saw nothing other than her. His girlfriend. Not me. I took a deep breath, swallowed the thick lump building in my throat and turned away from the sight. Exactly three weeks ago, Harry and I had shared a kiss. Our first kiss, which had been exactly how I’d secretly always wished for it to be. Of course it had been. Every time you get to kiss the person you love is special and like fireworks painting colors into the sky.
He’d been talking and listening to me all night, similar to how he now was with her and had at some point reached out to hold my hand, just like he was holding hers in this moment. When the time felt right, he’d leant in and had captured my lips with his. Needless to say, Harry was a phenomenal kisser. He knew when to press further, when to use how much tongue and was very attentive to how my body responded to his. Whenever I thought about it now, my cheeks tingled with the memory of his hands cupping them gently as he cradled my face to keep me close. He’d been so soft, so perfect. Harry had touched me with a tenderness, I thought it’d break my heart. I remembered wrapping my arms around his neck and feeling like they belonged there, like I was meant to hold him close. Only that I wasn’t. The girl he was with now only proved how insignificant I was.
I couldn’t help peaking and looking over at him again. Harry’s lips. I knew exactly how they felt when pressed against my own, knew their taste and shape. Their warmth. Harry’s touch was impossible to forget. I watched him kiss his girlfriend with a mesmerized stare, before moving away and into the kitchen, leaving the small gathering of our friends with a murmured excuse that I needed to get a refill of my drink, when in reality I couldn’t bear seeing the man I loved sharing affectionate kisses with someone else. But not even the kitchen was a safe area for me. t had been this exact kitchen, the one in Harry’s house, where he’d pulled me aside and told me about herfor the first time.
“It’s difficult” I think he said. “It’s my fault that this situation has become so messy.”
Was it silly that I could actually still remember every word he spoke to me? That I’d engraved every pause, every take in of breath he made, deeply into my head?
“Listen, Y/N… You’re important to me. I care about you. Need you, it’s just… There is someone. Someone who could be a chance for a relationship and I really want to give this a go. Give her a go, I mean. You can understand that, right?”
At first it’d felt like none of it was real. Because how could he be serious? Harry. My best friend, Harry. Only three days after our magical first kiss, three days full of us talking and flirting and texting constantly, he was telling me that he wanted someone else. Her name was Ira. And though he was seemingly behaving the same way with her he had been with me, we weren’t the same. In fact, she was everything I wasn’t. So when he told me he wanted her and not me, that he was picking her over of me, how come I’d been surprised?
I would never be his first choice, not when there were thousands of others he could choose from. And it was time for my brain to learn to not interpret every kind gesture, time to learn to stop overthinking every word. It was time for my head to accept, that there was no way Harry Styles could possibly want me.
So… I had been understanding. Kind even. I’d lied and told him that yes, I agreed that our kiss had been a mistake. We shouldn’t have done any of that and instead thought of our friendship first, rather than our impulses. I’d kept a smile on my face throughout the entire talk and even finished the short chat by wishing him good luck with her. Another lie.
My fingers shook and so I set the empty glass of my drink down quickly, worried for a moment that I might otherwise spill the last few drops. I didn’t think much when I reached for the bottle of vodka on the counter. There was no getting through this night if I didn’t have something proper to drink. If only I remembered the recipe….
My shoulders tensed. It couldn’t be him. Please… anyone, literally anyone, but him.
However when I turned around, Harry was there. He stood tall and beautiful, his short hair soft and wavy. Harry’s compelling eyes held my gaze with such a tender rawness in them, my knees weakened. All my body burned for was to wrap my arms around his shoulders and have him embrace me, have him tell me that everything would be okay again. I felt like I needed it, but knew that this was a wish I would be denied. Harry must have felt it, too. It was in the air around us. It had changed and… buzzed. As if being in each other’s presence made the world halt still for a moment.
“I’m sorry,” Harry chuckled lowly when I didn’t say anything. How could he smile like everything was alright?
And what was it he was apologizing for? Abandoning our friendship? Ruining any hope I’d had to find a partner in him? Shattering my heart? Hardly.
“For scaring you,” Harry elaborated, a sudden hint of guilt in his eyes, almost as if he’d read my thoughts.
“It’s fine, Harry,” I muttered, bearing a false smile, “All good.”
It was hard to look at him. Especially his eyes. They burned a whole into my chest whenever my own orbs found them. They reminded me of the Harry he once was, the one I could always come to and rely on.
“What are you doing?” Harry asked, his head nodding towards the bottle of vodka. His forehead furrowed in a worried expression and I quickly set the container back down.
“I wanted to make myself a drink, but the recipe slipped my mind. I’m not as much of an alcoholic as it must look like.”
“Good to know,” Harry chuckled, then, visibly thinking about it first, took a step forward. “I remember what you like in your favorite drink. Could make you one.”
From how close he was standing, it was easy to notice every detail of his skin. Every curve of his lips, every hair of his barely-there beard. My stomach turned.
“That’d be nice.”
Harry smiled and nodded. “Okay.”
We avoided any touching. I was leant against the counter, he stood with a safe distance between us and only came closer when he needed a different ingredient that happened to be near me. It was awkward and… weird. It didn’t feel like ‘us’. The friends we’d been once seemed to be two completely different people. I knew him and felt he was familiar, but there was a emotional distance between us I knew neither of us could overcome. And still, I was with him and even if we behaved like strangers, being with Harry was nice.
“I think that’s it,” Harry said, breaking the silence. His eyes were set on the pink-orange liquid in my glass, then they drifted to my face. A proud smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.
“You 'think’?” I challenged shyly.
I took the glass from him (cautious not to touch his fingers) and took a sip. It tasted great.
“M'not big of a show off,” Harry grinned, “S'it good?”
I nodded and stirred the colored liquid once more. “Thanks, Harry.”
“You’re welcome, Y/N.” His voice was soft and his gaze shy.
The air around us shifted once more. My eyes teared up. What had happened to us? Harry and I… we used to be the kind of friends who didn’t stopped talking to each other for hours. At first, we’d be loud. We’d laugh and giggle so much eventually both of our tummies hurt. That was when we’d change the subject and speak more quietly, until several hours later our conversations drifted to topics only we were allowed to hear. Then we’d be whispering and sitting closer together, always an eager sparkle in the other’s eyes as we both listened with interest about what was being said.
I quickly turned away and pretended to yawn. My eyes blinked rapidly and I willed them not to cry in front of him. Not because of embarrassment, but because I couldn’t do that to him. I’d given him my okay. I had no right to be mad at him for having found someone else. Harry remained standing close and with his hands in the front pockets of his black jeans.
“I think I should go,” I muttered.
I held my head low and took a deep breath before looking at him briefly. Harry’s eyes held concern and his fingers twitched, as if he longed to reach out for me.
“Y/N, love,” he began lowly, “Do you think we could talk for a bit? S'been a while since I got to see you. Hear your voice. I missed you.”
This time when my eyes met his green orbs, I didn’t look away, even though I could feel the tears forming and coming closer to spilling over. Harry’s whole expression changed. His cheeks paled and his forehead furrowed deeper.
“I miss you, too, Harry,” I admitted, my weak voice barely above a whisper.
“No,” he mumbled, shaking his head slowly, sorrow deeply set in his eyes. His feet stepped closer and his warm hands touched my flushed cheeks before I even had the chance to back away from him. The unexpected closeness caught me off guard and had more tears coming, this time because of how much I hated how uncommon this sort of care from him had become.
Harry embraced me. His head buried itself into my neck and both arms wrapped themselves around my waist so he could lift me up from my feet. “Please no, Y/N, Sweetheart. Don’t cry.”
I couldn’t help it. My heart, the final bit that had been whole still, broke in his caring hands and I was overcome and pulled under a wave of grief. That was what I was doing. I was grieving our friendship and the lost hope I’d had for a relationship with him. And he allowed it. He let me cry against his collarbones without any complaint and instead began to hum quietly, knowing how much his voice always soothed me. Pain shot through my chest. He probably did the same when she was upset.
“I can’t-” I cried, but got cut off by my lungs that burned with need for air.
Harry hushed me, his hold tightening, “Don’t, Y/N. It’s going to be alright.”
I shook my head and loosened the hold I’d taken around his neck. My hands momentarily brushed his soft hair, then I pulled away. Harry hesitated but allowed me to step out of his hold.
“I can’t take it anymore, Harry,” I confessed, my voice breaking halfway through the sentence. I reached up to brush my cheeks with the end of my sleeve and hiccuped. My head felt numb and I knew if I didn’t get out of this kitchen soon, he’d witness a break down I wasn’t comfortable with him seeing.
Harry’s hand reached for my arm. I didn’t fight it when he pulled me closer to him, but avoided his eyes when he leaned down to find my gaze.
“Y/N,” he spoke, his voice rough with emotion, “I promise you, it’ll be alright. M'not leaving, okay? M'not. We’ll figure this out.”
I wanted to scream but all I could was shake my head rapidly. “Figure this out how? What have we become, Harry?”
Another sob wrecked through my chest.
“I don’t know,” he confessed, “But we’re going to find each other again, okay? I promise. Let me say goodbye to the others and then we’ll go for a walk or something. We’ll talk. About everything and nothing at all… Just like we always used to, yeah?”
Used to. So long ago, it seemed.
“Okay,” I whispered, my burning eyes set on my feet. My skin shivered under his warmth and my lips hurt from how much I was bitting them.
I flinched when his mouth pressed a kiss to my head. The skin was left with a burning sensation. “Wait for me here, love.”
Harry’s quick feet carried him out of the kitchen and left me standing by the counter with my heart at the pit of my stomach. I stood up straight and brushed the few remaining tears from my cheeks. My skin tingled and I felt the hint of a smile on my lips, even though my body ached. Looking back now, I wish I would have stayed put by the counter and had waited for him just like he’d asked me to. I wish I hadn’t been impatient and eager to reunite with Harry, because that eagerness drove me to exit the kitchen shortly after him and turn the corner, allowing me clear view into the living room. There he stood. His arms around her thin form, his hands in her long hair and his lips kissing hers. All air was knocked right out of me. I could see how his hands gently moved against her neck, bringing her in closer and their bodies flush together. When their lips parted for a moment, I could see how he let his tongue run along his lower lip, as if he wanted to make sure he got all of her taste. And I could see him smile warmly at her, right before he leaned back in to connect their mouths once more. This sight… it burned. I didn’t wait for him. Because I had been wrong before. My heart wasn’t truly broken until that moment, witnessing the man I loved with my everything, kissing a woman who wasn’t me. And if he wasn’t going to leave me, if he was just going to keep me close and allow my heart to shatter over and over again, then I supposed I would have to be the one to go first. So that’s what I did. I walked back to the entryway, slid on my jacket, picked up my bag, and left the house. Left, to never come back to Harry Styles.
Okay so I’m having to post this again because I was going through my page and for some reason this piece got deleted! Dunno how! Anyway, there’s a part two to this and it just doesn’t make sense without the first!
Y/N loves flying out to see Harry. She loves hearing the enthusiasm in his voice when she tells him her vacation’s been approved at work. She loves when Harry picks her up from airports, holding up the cutest handmade sign that reads ‘Y/N!!(:’. Especially because he draws happy faces, or hearts, or loads of x’s, and goes overboard with exclamation points sometimes. She loves hearing Harry go on and on about the town(or city) he’s in at the time. Loves it when he talks about the locations that are popular, as if he really is all familiar, when in reality he’s only just gotten there himself a day prior and hadn’t even heard of the place before then. It makes her think that maybe he lays awake at night, before her arrival, studying these places, just so he can tell her all about them. She loves going out to sight see with him, wonderful spots she’s never even dreamt of visiting. She really loves hanging out with the boys and the crew, and engaging with fans when they come up to Harry, or Liam, or Louis, or Niall. More than anything though, she loves spending time with Harry.
This time it’s different though, and if she’s being honest, she’s feeling a tad nervous. Well, that might be an understatement.
Harry’s quite excited though. It’s been a while since he’s seen his best friend. Sure, he’s constantly phoning her, or messaging her, but it’s not the same. So when he sees her with her luggage, the escalator moving too slow for his liking, he smiles wide in adoration. Definitely not the same.
But here he is, his hair short and slicked messily to the side. With a sign that reads 'Y/N ♡ (:’, just like
she has missed. And as soon as she steps off the escalator, she drops her bags with a thud and Harry’s striding towards her, arms open.
“Missed you, kitten.” He smiles into her hair, inhaling the refreshing yet familiar scent of vanilla.
It’s quite easy for Harry to pick her up and spin her then, and she gives a small squeak, but laughs anyway.
“Been missing you since you left, you big movie star, you.”
And her voice is music to his ears, can never get enough. It’s why their conversations always go into the wee hours of the morning.
Harry sets her back down, gently, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “M'still the same ole lad that liked to work at a bakery.” Harry never really does change. Always been so humble. “Hey! Did y'know-”
“That you used to work at a bakery!” Y/N joins in, and they finish the sentence together. “I might’ve heard something about that, yes.”
They both chuckle before Harry takes her suitcase handle in his hand, “lemme help you with these, love.”
“How was the trip?” Harry questions, leading the way out.
Y/N hasn’t really known anything but quiet airports when it comes to visiting Harry. Always been best to arrive at night so the possibilities of getting swarmed are to a minimum.
“Slept a lot. Got a bit of work done-”
“You never really understood what a vacation was,” Harry chuckles. And it’s quite true. She can never really not do anything, and in that aspect, Harry and Y/N are much alike. But that’s why she likes vacationing with Harry, he’s able to distract her and really help her relax.
“That’s why m'here, darlin’.” She retorts, “anyway. It was sort of weird, too. Couple of people came up to me, no idea who they were, and asked about ya.”
Harry raises an eyebrow at this.
“Mhm-” she hums. By this time, he’s loading her belongings into the back of a rental, before opening the passenger door for her, “one guy even asked for a picture with me.”
Harry makes his way around the front of the car, jumping so into the driver’s seat.
“S'now y'think you’re all high an’ mighty?” He teases, giving her a smirk and putting the car in drive.
“Don’t worry, you’ll always be my number one,” Y/N giggles, patting his hand set on the arm rest.
Harry nods and laughs in amusement, “m'just glad you’re here, poppet. M'excited for you to meet everyone.”
“Me too,” she answers, unsure.
And if it were anyone else, she might’ve gotten away with that, but it’s Harry, and Harry knows her too well, so he takes her hand in his and gently squeezes it, smiling a reassuring smile “they’re gonna love ya’.”
And just like she predicted, Harry’s making sure to note places he’s either read about or has been to on their way to the hotel. The pub he and his cast mates went to on a day off, restaurant they celebrated a crew member’s birthday, park he likes to take a run through.
But Y/N still can’t help the uneasiness that creeps back up, because when she visited Harry on tours, she knew mostly everyone. Even when Harry wasn’t around because he was rehearsing, or in wardrobe, or performing, she still had Lou and Lux, sometimes Gemma and Meredith. But now, she’s not going to know anyone but Harry, and that’s a little scary when she thinks about it. Who is she going to talk to when Harry’s on set. She really doesn’t want to come off as a loner. And she’s naturally super shy, so she doesn’t want his cast ages to think she’s stuck up either.
“Here we are,” Harry’s voice cuts through her thoughts, “you’ll be sleeping in the room next to mine. S'got a door that connects 'em, so I’ll be a step away.”
Harry’s always been so considerate with her, to the point where it feels like she’s being babied. But she doesn’t mind, cos he tells her he’s just being cautious. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to her, and she knows, he’s always been real protective.
“S'that mean I can come over to yours?” Y/N doesn’t mean to sound like a child. Usually the first night in a foreign city she spends in Harry’s room. They’ll be watching movies or just talking until Y/N is more at ease, and eventually he’ll get her to sleep. She always tells him she’ll try her best not to bother him, but she can’t think of anything better than cuddling up to Harry. And Harry assures her he doesn’t mind. Not at all. He’s always said he sleeps much better when he’s got someone to cuddle.
“Door’s gonna be wide open-” he smiles, pushing his floor number button with his thumb once inside the lift, “-figuratively, o'course.”
Y/N smiles at him, her way of saying 'thank you’, before she yawns and rubs at her eyes.
When the lift comes to a halt, Harry helps a now very sleepy Y/N out, leading the way with the palm of his hand on her back. Times likes these he’s got to make sure his steps are shorter, wouldn’t want to hurry her up. He slides the keycard and opens her suite door, setting her belongings down next to the TV stand.
“Up you go,” he whispers now, noticing how droopy her eyes have gotten.
He pulls the covers back, letting her slip under before he’s taking off her sneakers and settling her into bed. The upside in having her arrive at night is that she always wears bed time clothes to ensure she’s comfortable.
“I’ll make sure to wake you for brekkie. G'nite, kitten.”
With a light kiss to her temple, Harry makes his way next door into his own room. A room that feels just a little empty now for some reason. And Harry stands here in the dark, a feeling of relief washing over him as he runs his fingers through his hair. He slips off his boots, then his shirt, and lastly his pants before deciding on a warm shower, excited that tomorrow, Harry will finally be able to introduce to everyone the girl he’s been going on about for a while now.
Harry wakes up to a slight stream of light coming in through the curtains, a hand instinctively feeling the spot next to him, in hopes that it wouldn’t be empty, but when he feels nothing but cool sheets, he can’t ignore the feeling of disappointment in the pit of his stomach.
One thing Harry always counted on is Y/N’s body next to him. Doesn’t matter whether she’s cuddled up to him, arm flung across his torso and face buried in his neck, or if she’s a ball of limbs sleeping inches away from him, hair laid messily against white sheets. He finds comfort in the way she breathes, her hands mindlessly reaching over to him to touch him, any part of him. That’s why she’s his favourite to cuddle. Let’s him move her around any which way he wants, and only nuzzles into him closer. When it’s hot, she settles for Harry’s arm around and under her neck, slung lazy on her shoulder, her head on his chest. When it’s cold, she lets him spoon her, his torso warm against her back, arms locked around her waist and their legs tangled. Sometimes he rubs her tummy, too. Knows she likes it when he rubs her tummy. It’s why he prefers it when it’s cold.
“Morning sunshine!” And just like that, a smile creeps over him as he looks over at Y/N make her way to the edge of his bed laying out his clothes on top, “completely knocked out last night. Woke up real early! I’ve picked out your outfit! Now let’s get going before you’re late!”
Y/N’s not sure what got into her. The sudden confidence seems to have her over excited now, giddy and in a hurry to get to Harry’s work.
“Woah! Whas’ gotten into yeh?”
Y/N knows the drill the second Harry sits up and reaches for the cover, so she turns around and stares at the wall so he can change.
She shrugs, “figured I should make the most of it. S'not everyday I get to hang out with famous people!”
“Ayeeee! S'not nice!” Harry would be offended if he had an ego, but it really only reminds him that Y/N doesn’t care that he’s Harry Styles.
“M'joking!” She turns around after hearing the sound of a zipper being pulled up.
Harry gives her a playful glare before sliding his shirt over his head and his arms, tugging at the bottom and stretching it down. He looks at her through the bathroom mirror, talking to her about the people he’s been spending time with as he washes his face and brushes his teeth.
Minutes later, they’re out for breakfast before heading to set.
Y/N’s having a grand time. She honestly doesn’t know why she was so worried. Everyone’s been so lovely to her. She was timid at first yeah, practically clinging to Harry when they arrived. But when he was taken to get into costume and she was left alone, a few of his cast mates approach her, making small talk before excusing themselves. She’s observing, watching everyone scrambling around to their positions when one of the crew ladies offers her a donut, and she doesn’t want to be rude and not take one, so she does, and boy is she glad she did. Because at that moment, a guy clad in a soldier costume, his face covered with what she’s assuming is mud, reaches for the last glazed just when she’s about to grab it.
He apologises and hands it over to her, claiming he likes the chocolate ones better anyway. He politely introduces himself, jokingly tipping his imaginary hat. Fionn is his name, and she remembers him from a few of the first leaked pictures of Harry on the set. He asks her name, and when she tells him, he hmm’s knowingly and says “so you’re the famous Y/N” before taking another bite of his donut.
Y/N’s not sure how long they’ve been talking for, all she knows is that her face is starting to hurt from so much smiling. The sound of a train whistle brings her back, and she looks up to see Harry looking back at them, a look on his face that she can’t make out. She waves at him, a huge smile on her face because she’s finally here, looking at her very handsome best friend in action, and he doesn’t wave back, rather keeps his stare stern before tucking his body back into the locomotive, causing her smile to fade.