this is 8 girls i mean shit its just my taste then

anonymous asked:

please tell me what you thought!! I'm not worried about spoilers, i already know what happened, i'm gonna see it in a few days and i'm so psyched! tell me all your thoughts please!!!

I am so charged up about this movie I don’t even know where to fucking start!!! I guess I’ll start with my initial Twitter rant bc GODDDAAAAMMMMNNNN!

Here’s some non-spoilery things about the movie for those who don’t want to be spoiled:

  • Mother! is a horror movie for every woman whose pain was ever used & romanticized to further a man’s personal growth.
  • Mother! is a horror movie for women who have invested and fallen in love with a selfish man.
  • Mother! is a horror movie for women who feel the constant suffocating entitlement of the patriarchy.
  • Mother! is a horror movie for women who feel they’ve been constantly taken advantage of and are demonized for daring to speak up about it.
  • Mother! is a horror movie version of The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. (And I said this BEFORE I saw this tweet by the director 😍)
  • Mother! is a horror movie for any woman who was only valued as a cure for a man’s pain instead of valued as a full, human person.

  • Mother! is a horror movie for women who were treated like IRL manic pixie dream girls and then tossed aside like garbage. 

Also I found it able to tap into horrors of being a woman that were subtle and specific in a slightly Get Out kind of way, imho. I felt very understood in many ways even as I was being horrified by what I was seeing. 

Below are some spoilery things:

The movie opens with a woman burning, a tear falling down her face, and then her turning to ash. Javier Bardem sets a gem stone on a stand and then a beautiful home surrounded by nature appears out of the ashes. I knew as soon as Javier Bardem’s character sat that gem on the mantel and the scene turned to Jennifer Lawrence appearing out of the ashes in bed that that is where the movie would end, and it would end with another girl in her place. 

AND IT DID. For a bit there at the end, I was wondering where it was headed because of the chaos, and I nearly forgot about the gem itself, but then we ended right where I expected. What I didn’t forsee was what the gem was made of: it was the last thing that Bardem’s character could squeeze out of his previous lover before she turned to ash, something beautiful that he could put on display before he started it all over again with someone new. 

GOD-FUCKING-DAMN

This movie is about a woman who gives all of herself (physically, literally, spiritually, emotionally, horrifically) to a man because she loves him, because it is expected, because she thinks he will view it as love, and it is never enough. He never stops taking from her, not even when there are literal mobs in their home tearing the physical house apart, stealing their belongings. At one point an actual war spills into their house and she barely escapes with the life of herself and the child she is about to give birth to. When she begs her husband to send these people away, he refuses because they stroke his ego. 

I don’t think the chaos of the previous 10 minutes of the film before she asks this question nor her struggle through them were literal but rather a representation of how it feels to be in her position, where she’s tried everything to be enough for this man for as long as she has been with him, rebuilt his house by hand, made it a home, served all his guests and fans without complaint, and even carried his child. She finally started believing with her pregnancy that she was going to win him over and be with just him, that this would be the key to finally meeting that standard of enough, but that was never who he was ever going to be for her, even as a father. And when she realizes, at 8 months pregnant, that his true love is still himself, his writing, and his fans, despite his child growing in her womb, she felt her world slip. The insanity of the the wars, the executions, the mobs in the house weren’t real but that’s how it felt. Her world was crumbling and she’d never regain any control again. 

In the end he even invites his fans to hold their baby and the baby ends up dying. It’s horrific and disgusting, and what does he say to her? He tells her that it can be something beautiful and encourages her to forgive, that there is nothing more beautiful than forgiveness, so they must. As if she doesn’t have rights to feeling ugliness in the face of losing her child. I felt suffocated myself by this immediately invalidation of even the most understandable and vulnerable of feelings. 

There are other moments like this throughout the movie where Jennifer Lawrence’s character is trying to speak up and voice her needs but it’s like shouting into a pillow as she asks politely and reasonably. No one listens or seems to care, especially not her husband. He seems to only placate her lovingly when he can tell she needs to feel he’s heard her, but he never really does or cares to try to actually listen to her. This last time, when she is weeping about her son being murdered by the people he allowed into their house, is the last straw and she calls the people around her what they are: MURDERERS. And because she finally yells and screams at them, they beat the everloving shit out of her and call her names like whore and bitch and cunt, etc etc. 

So she makes her way down to the furnace and burns the fucker down. GIRL YES BURN THAT BITCH TO THE GROUND.

And yet after the explosion that incinerates it all, guess who is intact and who is charred to the bone. Javier Barden, completely complete, carries Jennifer Lawrence, a burned, scaley version of herself, through the rubble of the house. She can’t understand how he is able to do this when she and everything she built is destroyed. 

She asks, “What are you?”
He replies, “I am life.”
She asks, ”What am I?”
He replies, “You are home.”

You don’t have to be sexualized to still be objectified and if this isn’t exactly the damaging dynamic in so many male/female relationships, I don’t know what is. He is what life is and she is where he gets to live. Does she have her own life, her own plans, her own goals, her own space? It doesn’t matter, she exists to house him. 

She asks, “Where are you taking me?”
He replies, “To the beginning.”

He lays her on the charred bed and tells her there is one more thing he needs from her. She says she has nothing left to give. He says that isn’t true, he wants her love. She relents. “Take it.” He digs physically into her abdomen and pulls something bloody and charred out. Jennifer Lawrence’s character turns to ash and the mess in Javier Bardem’s character’s hands turns into a gem. He marvels at how beautiful a thing it is, the only thing left of his lover. He doesn’t grieve that she is nothing but a pile of ash now, he sets the gem up where the old one once sat and the opening scene repeats with a new girl waking in their bed, signifying that this is what this man does to women and what he will continue to do. He doesn’t learn his lesson or change because he doesn’t value the women he is with enough to see their pain as destruction. Instead, he only sees it for how it can benefit him.

She is ash. He is whole. A parasite going from woman to woman. 

To me, one of the scariest elements of this movie is that Javier Bardem’s character himself isn’t really that scary, he’s not a horror. He’s even sweet sometimes, albeit neglectful af. What’s smart and unfortunately really relatbale about this is it makes him seem like (if not a good guy at least) an okay guy. He’s not evil. She doesn’t befall this horrible fate because he is malicious. It’s a Nice Guy who just wants to Create something Beautiful. But in the process he fucking destroys and sucks the entire life out of the woman he is supposed to love with no remorse at all. There are so many fucking men out there who do this very thing to every woman they are with, emotionally and mentally. Sometimes physically, too, but that’s easier to pinpoint. The horror of Javier Bardem in Mother! is that he could be and really kind of is many of the men we will come in contact with. 

(Bro I know I’ve fallen in love with and had this done to me by one ALREADY)

My thoughts on how this movie has been received:

What blows my MIND is that large groups of people DO NOT GET this movie and I think it’s because it is largely and almost exclusively a fundamental female experience. There are whole hot takes and think pieces trying to figure out HMMM WHAT IS THIS MOVIE ABOUT???? when like…to me, it was obvious and direct in my opinion. I’m not trying to be a bitch about it, like I’m smarter than everyone. I understand that I get it because it’s for me, it’s about a female perspective, but to say it’s about nothing is ASININE. Which many of them are saying. 

If you don’t like the way this movie told its story, that’s fine and fair. We all have different tastes. But if you don’t get the message and therefore want to criticize what it’s trying to say because you think it was pointless, maybe THINK AGAIN. It didn’t fail because you PERSONALLY don’t get it. It maybe just means that there are other experiences in this world and you’re lucky enough to have never had to understand what this movie is saying, the feelings it evokes in many viewers, or the horrors it represents for them. And most likely never will.  If the movie is just not for you I GET THAT bc damn it was rough, IT WAS HARD, it was awful. But it wasn’t about nothing. If you didn’t see the point, be thankful.

There were some think pieces analyzing it and coming to the conclusion that it was about global warming and the Catholic church, which there was definitely some imagery for but that for SURE was not the POINT. If you thought Mother! was just about taking on the Catholic Church while identifying the other ‘weird’ stuff in it as just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you MAY be ignoring the literal title character of the movie & her entire emotional journey throughout the whole thing. 

Which, SHOCKER, is like… the point of the entire movie. 

Good job I GUESS. But you still missed point by proving it. 

I mean, I get it, make it about whatever resonates with you, but it is undeniably about a fundamentally female experience. No wonder it’s being overlooked. "Gee what could this movie entitled ‘Mother!’ be about? Should we look at the mother character in the movie?? OR HOW ABOUT we just dive into the symbolism surrounding the woman instead while ignoring her completely.“ 👍🏻

To me it seemed any side-symbolism in that movie was to promote the dynamic of her giving all she was & him feeding off of it. Including any messianic imagery. As a smart, smart friend of mine said, “Men will of course deify themselves all the time.” That’s EXACTLY what the religious imagery was about, about Javier Bardem’s character living out his desire to be a god to his fans for his own ego, so deep that he let them devour his own child. It was about the church but it was only in service TO EMPHASIZE HOW HE CONSUMES HER AND WHAT SHE HAS GIVEN. Like… LORD help me. (No pun intended.)

I cannot believe a horror film about a female experience is so baffling for people to understand when we’re half the people out there. “WHAT IS IT ABOUT?????” It’s about what she’s showing you it’s about. PAY ATTENTION!! 

But how poetic (ew gross) that many people who don’t get it write it off. It’s the same reason so often women are not believed and their experiences are questioned. No wonder women feel LIKE NO ONE LISTENS. <—- a direct line from Jennifer Lawrence’s character over and over in the movie.

It’s like there are people looking directly at this movie screen and seeing a blank black box for 75% of it. And here I am screaming into a pillow.

This is not to say that Mother! doesn’t take on many things, it does. There is a lot to unpack and it would be unfair of me to say there is only one way to read it. Of course there isn’t, and many parts are going to resonate with different people for different reasons. With that being said, though, to anyone trying to make the point of this movie about anything other than the experience of the female lead character, remember the gemstone and the burning woman at the beginning of the film, and then at the end. It is bookended this way for a reason. This is about the pattern of a man and how it affects the women he chooses to be with. This is about a woman who loves a selfish man who unapologetically lives selfishly and what it does to her to be in his life. 

It’s metaphors, it’s symbolism, obviously it’s hyperbolic, but it’s still REAL👏🏻AS👏🏻FUCK👏🏻.

anonymous asked:

I apologize for bothering you for your objective opinion so much, my king, but once again I need your objective opinion. This time I need your objective opinion on the Berserkers. I'm severely concerned that I have shit taste in Berserkers, and I know that unlike me you are definitely a man of culture.

very large. back from ye olde days where berserkers generally couldn’t actually communicate so unfortunately a bit lacking in complex characterisation compared to others. lovin the whole ‘made to kill his own children in rage which is what qualifies him as berserker in the first place and now gives his all to keep this singular parentless child safe despite supposedly being made into a mindless raging beast’ thing. 8/10

bucket knight. also an old school zerker who can’t talk outside kariya’s fever dreams but he does scream in french sometimes. an overly loyal knight who nonetheless put his own wishes above what he believed were his king’s once and then spent the rest of his life feeling guilty about it to the point where it straight up drove him crazy because he couldn’t understand that arturia has -15 consideration of her own wants. his kink is getting shamed and he would probably get a heart attack if arturia did that hands on her hips disappointed look pose in his general vicinity. 8/10

get OUT of my HOUSE. ugly and horrifying but could totally beat gilgamesh in a fight and the image of ol gregory getting his nuts kicked in by a metal underpants enthusiast is high quality content so he gets points for that. 3/10

this is what we in the scientific community call a daughter. a good girl who just wants to be loved but has severe trust issues after being abandoned by the person who literally created her. can in fact talk but it takes a lot of effort so she doesn’t bother because like, fuck humans right, why should she put in effort to make herself understood when they’re not gonna want to understand her either way. I’m so blessed & grateful that moriarty is her dad now. 9/10

i’ll be honest I still have no idea what his character is supposed to be like its not like he had a lot of screentime in extra and extella is very bad to its side characters. ?/10

the fucking supreme. pandered to like a dozen of my kinks and gave me a few more. my first 5*. the end of my f2p days and the start of my journey to becoming the monster god. the design. the skillset. the teeth. the c l a w s. a king despite hating kings. a machinelike killer despite living for the thrill of the fight. a man who wants to just die already yet obstinately refuses to. a contradictory mess that denounces every ideal he used to live by yet clings to them harder than ever. a monster whose personal arc after being summoned isn’t how he’s still human at heart or whatever but how he was a monster before he looked like one already so like, don’t even worry about it. his mad enhancement is EX(C ) and his material entry revealed that this weird rank is bc it’s not even actual battle rage, he’s just so fucking stubborn it gets classified as mad enhancement. EX/10 the love of my fucking life

the smile of an angel. seems completely rational at first but is still classified as a berserker with EX rank mad enhancement because of her inhuman determination to save as many lives as possible without any regard for the quality of that saved life. she’d amputate all of a person’s limbs in an instant if that’s what it’d take for them to not die. she has canonically beat people to a pulp to ‘cure’ their mental issues. completely dedicated her life to becoming a healing machine at the cost of her own health and even personhood. her profile says she doesn’t actually listen to others but in her myroom lines she takes an active interest in your hobbies and opinions and she also gets flustered when you call her an angel. i literally cannot fucking wait until ch america hits NA server she’s so fucking good and i want everyone to love her. 15/10

THIS IS WHAT A FRIEND LOOKS LIKE. the actual embodiment of “cool guy has a chill day”. a smile that rivals the sun and an attitude that turns even the most ordinary days into a grand adventure. his mad enhancement is basically just that he’s kind of an idiot. 10/10

OX MOM OX MOM OX MOM her mother got knocked up by an ox demon in a dream and had to raise her in secret, and her human father didn’t accept her until she proved to be really strong and even then only as long as she would exterminate anyone who stood in the way of the clan. so scared of being shunned for her demon origins despite being loved & trusted as leader of the minamoto clan that she straight up exorcised her demon self into a separate personality to kill it (& herself with it) and was only barely stopped by the four heavenly kings. nowadays fiercely protective of anyone who knows about & accepts her demonic side to the point of insanity, which is where her EX mad enhancement comes from. a huge crybaby but gets shit done anyway. 10/10

THIS IS ALSO WHAT A FRIEND LOOKS LIKE. someone who was labeled and locked away as something evil due to being what is by all means called a monster even though he’s got a really gentle personality and likes being helpful. really good example of the whole “heroes and villains are nothing more than the roles individual complex people are forced to take on” theme fate likes to play with. has difficulty talking but it’s easy to come to an understanding with him as long as you call him by his personal name asterios rather than the name of the monster minotaur everyone assumed he’d be and he thus inevitably became. 10/10

the only reason he’s a berserker is because his name and the word “berserker” have the same etymology and the grail had no idea what other class to put him. this is the canon reason. he doesn’t have any mad enhancement to speak of beside being a lil hot blooded and liking to fight. literally only here because he likes to throw punches. got his ass beat by li shuwen in ch america because despite loving to throw a punch he’s not actually a martial artist and can’t win from someone with actual technique. a classic ‘jack of all trades master of none’, he literally sucks at being every single class but can’t not be summoned as a heroic spirit because he’s from the oldest english epic poem and a prototype for many other heroes. a free spirited adventurer who takes things as they come but can be responsible when it matters. 9/10 

once a good & wise ruler but fell into insanity in the last few years of his rule before finally getting assassinated. loved rome with all his heart for its beauty & splendour but got overwhelmed by the conspiracies and other evils that were also a part of it until the goddess of the moon, who he was in love with, made him insane, which he claims saved him in his bond ce. determined from then on to become the ugliest most evil motherfucker in all of rome so that he could take all the nastiest parts of rome with him in his inevitable death and have his dear cousin nero live in happiness, if only for a while. summoned as a hero despite being very close to an anti-hero because the good ruler he was before going insane responded to a call to save the world and still intent to do his part by simply dragging everything evil down with him. 8/10 wouldn’t it be nice if chapter rome had actually paid attention to roman servants other than nero.

looks like a bratty child but talks like an archaic mob boss. has horns and huge claws. easily bribed with chocolate. has a huge sword but just fucking headbuts her enemies instead. 10/10

many berserkers are angry men but only he is anger man. classified as a berserker not just due to his battlefield conduct but also the insane commitment he had to the laws of the shinsengumi, to the point where he would personally execute former comrades who broke them. both the first and last member of the shinsengumi, a man who dedicated his entire life to upholding its values in a rapidly changing japan. surprisingly rational and during gudaguda 2 okita didn’t even realize he’s a berserker because he didn’t become the fanatic that qualified him to be summoned as one until after okita’s death. one of the coolest skillsets in the game and definitely some of the sickest animations. 10/10

NORMALISE

FINDING

AND KILLING

ACHILLES

10/10

my fuckign girlfriend 10/10

the cutest enabler. 10/10

please god let me meet her. 10/10

when will takeuchi die

Crazy days & even crazier nights.

The last 10 days we’ve been traveling on this ladies trip. So all 6 of us are single as of recent. My husband well EX is a clown. We have managed to keep ties for the sake of business but soon as his creep ass fuck up wit his drinkn and gambling problem again IT’S ALL MINES!! By the way Im Key'sha. So the first night started great wit drinks music and fine ppl all around. I met Max a handsome Samoan whom I danced my ass off wit sweat dripn legs sore but my body wouldn’t stop moving.
Max fucked the soul out of me on that beach left a bite mark on my ass and grip marks on my thighs. Mmm lovely first night. Next morning I was finding sand in all my creases. Me and my girls get day two started we are going snorkeling and a yatch ride. My girl Val keep crying bout sorry ass E. E and Val were together since 10th grade and E was all she knew. I feel bad for her but she knew how he rocked from jump. They even had a third partner at one point so go figure he’d shit on her wit they sitter. Mika Shay Brea and Issa tho been turned so far.
The snorkeling was fun I got mad underwater pics and selfies. The boat ride was epic tho these Hawaiians party hard and a few Jamaicans on vacation too. Of course we change to hit the club and day two is going to end crazy cuz im feeling this fine dread head from Kingston Jamaica. I mean it’s vacation im single and HORNY. I eyed him then nudged my head to the right and walked off towards this lil cabana far off. His sexy ass walks up behind me all I felt was DICK on my back. I pushed back on him then told him to strip😜. Pure bliss brown glistening ass skin I had to lick him and lick I did. I sucked dick like the last super I was fuckn drunk as all hell. He gripped my waist sat me on dick and said “Work”. He didnt have to tell me twice , I bounced on dick then felt them pulsations I told him to paint me he busted all over.
I swear day three I stayed focused sight seeing and trying the local foods. Me Brea Mika and Issa. Val and Shay were doing some shopping I guess. As we go to grab drinks before we head to the hotel its been a long day We run into Max and his friends. Yes we ended up wit them drinkn and playing cards music blarring laffs and all of a sudden it starts pouring rain. We run to a bungalow right on the beach come to find out its Max’s home.
I jus strip my clothes were soaked then my bitches do the same next thing u know we all naked and just proceeded to partying. Max grabs my hand we go down some steps to a lil love nest he eats pussy so gentle and tongues my ass and sucks my pussy more non stop I done nutted in his mouth 6x no lie. He finally dozes off I head up to go piss and see the illest shit my bitch Mika and Brea were getn it slapn. Issa was fuckn his cuz Gary. I went pee grabd some wine and sat to watch from the corner. Brea was eatn Mikas pussy crazy all you heard was smackn slurping and Mika telln Brea to finger her ass harder. Im thinkn where did Allen and Paul go? So I go upstairs and low and behold Paul had his face barried in Allens ass tongue deep in it. I go all the way in and stand by the bed. Pauls nasty ass tells me to sit on Allens face and watch him tongue big hole. So I obliged and Allen goes to town moaning crazy loud on my pussy begging me to fuck his tongue.
When they started fuckn I went to check on Max who was up going thru tumblr lookn at naughty shit. I grabd dick jus to play with head on my lips lick balls kiss them. Then being the ball lover I am I go to work on them. Rubn them on face lips tongue then I let him in my juicy pussy wet from his and Allens naughty tongue action😝. He stroke like he love a bitch , all I kept saying was “damn” yes Max baby….
By the 7th day I done fucked 3 new men and my body count was at 5 dicks and 7 faces, aye fuck it!
Day 8 all of us went to this luau at the far end of Maui. I walked along the beach alone sat down to feel the waves hit my toes and thought about everything business kids my life and it dawned on me IMMA BOSS.. I never miss a beat. Meetings games recitals church choir and running the food bank this 10 day trip was needed.. I head back over to the luau and join my bitches. Vals neby ass had to ask Key you good? Im perfect Val. Love you bitch , love you too Val. We get the party lit Brea wit her twerkn habit Mika & Val slow grindn on couples, Shay wit dat tongue out and the whole bottle in hand Issa in the DJ’s face cuz back home in Atl “Dj Is” is 🔥🔥🔥 so she got tell every dj what to mix and how to mix it😂
I see Mr Jamaica lookn fine as usual I sit and await his approach. In my head im thinkn I am not fuckn him tonight Im not fuckn mr sexy im not fuckn his ass ugh Key bitch jus fuck him tonight! Lmao to myself he asks why you giggling Key? Mr Jamaica whats your name? He bust out laffn Key its Daddy. Shut up Im serious what’s your name? Derious. Well Derious do you wanna walk me to your room? Yes I do baby girl. We don’t make it out the elevator before he got my bikini bottom to the side playn wit my holes kissing me strong but gripn my neck so soft. We hit his floor and dart for that room cuz Mr D has my bottom in his mouth. I get in the room and turn on the shower and tell him to wash my pussy. I stare down at him wit lust all in my eyes as he cleans pussy and kiss thighs. I tell him to take it and Derious once again fucked me so raw and uncut. Hair pulling ass smackn floor action balcony I mean he tore up every hole in every inch of that hotel room. He had my pussy squirting from that ass stroking. His dick in my ass was warm and he kept pulln out putn his tongue in it omg I was melting. It was tasting time I put dat nut on my cheeks lips chin tongue and licked around my mouth clean.
Next morning he was just staring at me wit fruit and water for me. He says do you have to b wit ya bitches. Nah why? He jumps behind me and cuffs me up in spooning position. 2 more hours Key swear I have to hold you a lil longer. I woke up 4 hrs later he still sleep. I tap him, wake up. He says sit on him and we go in again I lick balls while he jerk dick then I was snoozing. I wake up its day 10 and I literally don’t wanna leave Derious.
We go to my suite and we all have a mid day orgy with Derious Frank and Shane with all of us

Whoops- Montgomery x reader smut

Well shit, Montgomery. What the fuck.

Warnings: Smut, swearing

I need Jesus holy cow.

Originally posted by montedelacruz


“Come on y/n, its gonna be so fun!” Sherri exclaims, jumping up and down while holding onto my arm. We were sitting on my bed, Sherri trying to convince me of going to the party tonight at Bryce’s.

“I don’t know Sherri…” I begin but am immediately cut off by Sherri putting her finger over my mouth and shushing me.

“Pleaseeeee” she begs, putting her hands together in a ball and shaking them back and fourth, begging. I simply roll my eyes and nod, Sherri jumping up and hugging me. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I promise, were gonna have a blast. I’ll pick you up at 9, alright?” Sherri asks, grabbing her bag off the floor and beginning to exit my room.

“Yeah yeah, sure.” I say, waving her a quick goodbye. Tonight was another one of your typical high school parties, however like usual, I did not want to go. Parties just really aren’t my thing. Being as the time is 8 o’ clock, I begin to get ready. Somehow, I manage to shower, do my hair, makeup, and pick out an outfit for tonight within the span of that given hour. By 9:15, I’m reminding my parents that I’m staying at Sherri’s tonight and waving them goodbye on my way out to Sherri’s car.

“Look at my best friend, looking all hot and shit.” Is my greeting from Sherri as I enter her car. I just laugh and give her a quick hug before taking over the AUX and plugging in my phone, playing some bomb throwback music. We drive down the streets heading over to Bryce’s house jamming to “Party In the USA”, a classic. Getting out of the car upon reaching our destination, I realize lots of girls are in short, tight dresses. I, on the other hand, am in black shorts with a maroon tank top, pairing with my converse. I shrug off the questions I’m having about my outfit choice and walk into the house with Sherri, immediately running into Jess and Justin.

“Hey guys!” Jess yells, obviously being a little overtaken by the alcohol in her system. “Drinks are in the kitchen, keg out back, you know the drill.”

“Thanks Jess” Sherri says, pulling me over to kitchen and begins to make me a drink. Once finished, she hands it over to me and I take a sip. Immediately I can taste the alcohol and I nearly gag it all up.

“Jesus, Sherri, what’s in this?” I ask, looking in the cup as if I was going to be able to figure it out that way.

“Oh you know, a little bit of everything” Sherri winks at me as I laugh and take another sip, when suddenly I feel an arm wrap around my waist and pull me in.

“Well, would ya look who it is, y/n and Sherri, coming to having a little fun with their favorite guy” The possessor of the arm says from behind me. I simply laugh and turn around to face the guy of whom the voice obviously belonged to.

“You’re a funny guy there, Monty.” I say, pulling his arm from around my waist and dropping it by his side. The smirk on his face becomes bigger as I roll my eyes and take a big sip of whatever the hell Sherri has made me, turning my back to him. Not going to lie when I say I’ve always found Montgomery really fucking hot… I mean he’s a complete asshole, but hot nonetheless.

“You know, I could show you how much of a fun guy I can be.” Monty breathes into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I shake my head, simply walking away to the outside area where I find Jeff, Alex, and Zach hanging out around the pool.

“Hey guys!” I say, joining in their little group.

“Hey y/n!” Zach exclaims, throwing his arm around me. I’ve always been super close with these three boys, so I didn’t feel awkward in the least butting into their conversation.

“What’re you guys up to?” I ask, looking around to see who else is in the area.

“Nothing much, just chilling out.” Alex says, shrugging.

I was talking to them about school and sports when Jeff taps me on the shoulder.

“Hey y/n, Montgomery over there has been staring at you for the past couple minutes… need me to go beat him up?” Jeff asks, staring Montgomery down. I just laugh and shake my head.

“No need Atkins, I’ll take care of this one.” I tell him, backhanding him playfully in the chest before waving a quick goodbye to the others. I walk my way over to Montgomery, who is now looking down at his phone. “What’s with you Monty?” I ask, hitting him on the arm lightly. He looks up at his phone, directly in my eyes and at that moment I can tell something’s up. Before I can ask, Montgomery grabs my hand and pulls me inside to the nearest bedroom, where he slams the door and immediately crashes his lips on mine. I kiss back, disappointed when he pulls away, his hungry eyes looking me up and down.

“Fuck, y/n, you’re such a fucking tease” Montgomery gets out between breaths while kissing my neck. “You’ve only just got here, but I’ve been thinking about you since. And fucking hell y/n, you’re gonna pay for it.” I bite down on my lip, feeling myself getting wetter by the second. Like I’ve said before, Montgomery was fucking hot, so I had no problem with this. I nod my head, a small moan escaping my lips as Monty makes his way down to my chest, roughing kissing. He then pulls away, and looks me deeply in the eyes as he pushes me over to the bed, forcing me down on it.

“We’re gonna play a little game.” He says, sitting down near my legs. He begins simply rubbing one as he explains this game. “You see, tonight you are mine. I have complete and utter control over you, you hear me?” Monty says, nearing his face to mine, leaving random kisses on my body. “A little slut like you doesn’t get to cum whenever, so you have to wait till I say,” By now, he’s by my ear, nearly whispering. “You’re in for a rough fucking night y/n” Montgomery says, nipping my ear. I let out a small moan as I nod, practically dripping down under at this point.

“Fuck, alright Monty.” I say, pleading to be touched. I see a smirk form on his face as he sits back, letting out a huff of air.

“Tonight, I’m daddy to you, alright babe?” Monty says, and quickly I nod my head. All of a sudden, I feel him on top of me, kissing me roughly. His tongue shoves in way into my mouth, fighting with me over dominance. Painfully slowly, he begins to remove my shorts and tank, leaving me only in my lacy underwear and black matching bra. Biting his lip,  he quickly removes my bra and goes to work at my breasts, sucking on one and massaging the other. Moans are flying out of my mouth like crazy when suddenly the pleasure goes away, leaving me angry. I look to find Monty standing at the foot of the bed, a devilish look on his face.

“You see, I’m not here to do all the work for you, Now do what daddy asks, and please yourself.” Monty says, an evil smirk taking over his face. I groan at the idea, using my hands to slowing being massaging my breasts and making their way down my stomach to my underwear, in which I quickly throw off my body. I use one digit to feel myself, seeing how wet I am. I spread my legs and inset a digit to my soaking core, a loud moan escaping my lips. I begin pumping in and out, slowly at first, and then begin to pick up speed, groaning loudly. I insert another digit, and another, pumping in and out of my core as quickly as I can. I look up and make eye contact with a now shirtless Montgomery as I feel the pleasure becoming more intense, my high nearing. I see him bite his lip and he rushes over to me, pulling my fingers out of my dripping vagina. I whine at the lose of contact, but immediately feel the slamming of his fingers deep in my core.

“Fuck D- fuck!” Is all I manage to get out, throwing my head back as Monty uses his thumb to intensely rub my clit, his other hand holding down my hips from bucking up. I feel my high approach and I moan out. “Fuck, fuck, hol- fu- I’m gonna…. fuck” I gasp out, about ready to release when Monty completely stops everything he’s doing, and pulls his fingers out of me.

“What the actual fuck?” I ask, but I’m forced down on his lips as I feel his pants being removed, leaving him in his underwear. I break the kiss, moving down to his underwear band, nipping at it. He throws it off his body, his throbbing member springing up. He grabs my hair, collecting it into a ponytail, and forced my head down on his dick. Moving my head up and down, I continue to fill my throat with his member, using my hands to get whatever I cant fit. Monty above me is a moaning mess, and I feel his dick twitch in my mouth, the hot cum shooting down the back of my throat.

I’m then flipped over on my back, my neck being attacked as I hear a wrapper being opened and a few seconds later, feeling Monty slam into me. A loud moan comes from both of us, and he beings to quickly pound in and out of me. Monty takes both of my legs and puts them over his shoulders to reach deeper into me, and I’m over whelmed with immediate pleasure. Every trust is hitting my G-spot and I cant get enough of it. He picks up the speed, swearing under his breath.

“Shi- fuck, you’re so fucking tight” he breaths out, slamming deeper and deeper into me with every trust. I feel my near approaching, throwing my head back and arching my back.

“Fuck, daddy, I’m so close” I whimper, feeling the knot in my stomach getting tighter and tighter. At this point Monty’s head has found its way to my neck and I’m scratching at his back like crazy.

“Fuck. me too.” He says, thrusting harder and deeper, grunting on top of me. “You want to cum, don’t you, you little slut?” I nod my head, arching my back as I feel the knot about to release. “Alright babe, now” Monty get out, as I scream out his name beneath him. That must have set him off too because a few seconds later he’s picking up the speed an riding out both of our highs. His thrusts become sloppy and slow.

He pulls out of me and disposes of the condom, putting his clothes back on. I take a look in the mirror, gasping. “God Monty, you couldn’t have made these any more noticeable?” I say sarcastically to him, pointing out 3 huge hickeys on my neck already forming. Being the asshole he is, Montgomery laughs, shrugging it off with a simple “Whoops!” and winks at me before exiting the room back to the party. A few minutes later, I leave as well.

Throughout the rest of the night I catch Montgomery’s eye and he winks at me, smirks always forming on his face. Lets just say that wasn’t the last time I’d be covered in hickeys by Monty.


hoe tips for all my lovelies

1-) if you shave, whatever it is, use an exfoliating scrub beforehand + a men’s razor. they’re generally cheaper and get a closer shave.

2-) DRINK WATER ITS SO GOOD FOR EVERYTHING

3-) pee before/after sex to prevent uti’s.

4-) a cup of vinegar in your bath water balances out the PH level down there.

5-) do 50 squats before every shower. it’s a good way to start a routine and get an ass okay.

6-) beauty rest is real !! YOU NEED SLEEP!! it affects your mood, appetite, health, and appearance.

7-) SPOIL YOURSELF !! do not depend on others for your shit. if you’ve got a couple extra bucks, buy yourself a cute new bra or some comfy socks. (aeropostales bras are $2.99 right now) 😘😘

8-) do a hair/face mask once a week, don’t over do it because it can strip the oils and leave your shit damaged.

9-) smoking and drinking will really negatively effect your uh, ‘taste’. if you’re gonna do it make sure you’re eating healthy to make up for it !!!

10-) when you are drinking, take care of yourself and know your limits. being a sloppy drunk mess every night isn’t cute.

11-) kat von d liquid lipstick is matte and blowjob proof do what you will with that info.

12-) KEEP YOUR GRADES UP, DONT DUMB YOURSELF DOWN.

13-) if you don’t like water normally, infuse it with fruit or spices. it tastes good and it’s amazing for you.

14-) stop comparing yourself, this is hard for lots of us but fake that confidence till ya got it b.

15-) stop talking shit! cut toxic people out. if that means you got one real friend then so be it.

16-) DO NOT USE SOAP DOWN THERE !! it cleans itself you’re just increasing the risk of an infection.

17-) DONT TAKE SHIT !!! you’re your own person. take care of and worry about yourself and you’ll be fine.

18-) stop getting involved with dumbass girls/guys who don’t know what they want. if you wanna be single, say and do that. don’t feel pressured.

19-) peppermint tea helps a ton with bloating.

20-) if you’re a guy, FIND A GUY FRIEND YOU CAN BE OPEN WITH. all the time i have my guy friends telling me that they aren’t used to being able to talk about real shit because their friends will make fun of them. we all need someone.

21- alternatively, if you’re a girl, get yourself a good girlfriend who won’t turn and spread your secrets. friendship goes both ways, find someone who loves you and all of you.

22-) $5 below, the dollar store, has good ass perfumes and colognes for $5.

23-) vitamins are good for you. take them if you need them. take your meds.

24-) IF YOU ARE SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND UNDER 18, MAKE SURE THERE IS A TRUSTED ADULT IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU CAN GO TO IF SOMEONE GOES WRONG. i can not stress this enough.

25-) go out for brunch. take a friend or go on your own. little things.

26-) green concealer covers hickeys

27-) go on runs, if you’re as insecure about running in public as i am, take a friend and walk around town for an hour or so.

28-) spray perfume on your hairbrush and then brush your hair, it soaks up the scent and will stick with you a lot longer.

29- LOVE YOURSELF. whether you’re big, little, tall, short, have a big nose, long hair or short, have cellulite or stretch marks, have a big butt or a little one, whether you’re black or white or in between, , you deserve love from yourself and others. loving yourself takes time but it is never impossible. if ya ever are struggling i am here and i love literally everyone.

wanna chat? pt.22

on ao3
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21| 22

sup

woke up feeling super drained and out of it this morning. thought maybe writing would help, but nothing was working, so we’re here.

shoutout to @sunlitshowers​ because we looked up flavors of capri sun for an answer on my deh ask blog and she found so many great capri sun flavors and ads. it was amazing

i dont know whats happening here anymore but enjoy


2:45

nino: yo check out how many flavors of fucking caprisun there is
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capri_Sun#Flavors

6:23

ladybugfan2020: rip me apparently there was an akuma attack last night????? and i missed it???
oh it was on the other side of the city w/e then i got pics its chill
whats this link nino??
caprisun??
holy SHIT
i need 2 try alL OF THESE
tag yourself im……..
monster alarm
i am monster alarm

ladybugfan2020 has changed their nickname to monster alarm

Keep reading

Dad! Jeonghan.

Originally posted by jeonghney-archive

  • Y’ALL HIS SMILE IS CATCHING ME OFF GUARD HELLA BAD
  • BUT YEAH
  • you guessed it bitch
  • you is pregnant
  • with this man’s cHILD CONSIDER YOURSELF BLESSED
  • honestly tho jeonghans family would be so fucking PRETTY AND BEAUTIFUL LIFE IS SO UNFAIR
  • ngl he’d set a certain amount of kids to have
  • won’t follow it lmao you guys have too many sexy times i laUGH
  • has a good 3 or 4
  • only wanted 1 tbh
  • lovES THEM ALL EQUALLY THO OK
  • GUYS HONESTLY IM HAVING TO SCROLL DOWN SO THAT I DONT SEE JEONGHANS SMILE ITS ACC HURTING MY HEART
  • AND IS REALLY DISTRACTING
  • but yeAH
  • ngl he’d also be low-key stressed when you tell him you’re having the first one
  • it would happen during when SVT’s active as shit so he’s all like ‘will thE BABY EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?!’
  • you’re an emotional wreck when he drops to thE FLOOR IN STRESS LIKE GDI JEONGHAN NOT REALLY SHOWING A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
  • he sits there for a good 5 minutes
  • you start to cry and turN AROUND AND I TOLD Y’ALL THIS WAS GONNA BE ANGSTY HERE BITCH
  • he just holds you back by your legs
  • like
  • is literally hugging the back of them
  • you turn around and look down and he literally is an angel
  • he has this hopeful smile and somehow that itself is enough to stop you crying
  • “i know that I’m busy with my job but nothing will ever top my current priority that is you and our child.”
  • you cry
  • hell even I’m fucking crying
  • he ends up pulling you down into his lap and you cry for a good half an hour and I’m sorry for making you such an overemotional person but just for the sake of the au ok I’m sorry ILY
  • boy whispers a ton of sweet nothings into your ear and you’re hella reassured that he isn’t gonna go anywhere
  • my heart is acc in pain
  • i feel as if jeongHAN WOULD BE the good ass liar when you’d be pregnant like you’d ask ‘babe am i fat?’
  • ‘you’re carrying a proof of our love, sweetie, you’re only full of our future :))))))))’
  • he’d have a savage partner during the time of pregnancy bc hormones
  • ‘dino you’re not my baby anymore’
  • dino: *is relieved and thanks you bc he’s tired of his hyung’s shit*
  • wilL take you anywhere and everywhere w him bc he only trusts himself
  • s.coups: “jeonghan, we’re only practicing, whats y/n doing here?”
  • jeonghan: “she was bored :)))))))”
  • you in the corner: “LIES”
  • its also cute in a way bc during breaks from practice, he’ll squeeze his head on your lap (the space that isn’t covered by your bump) hella carefully and shit talk about being a better singer than all of the vocal unit
  • woozi exiles him
  • you get all cute and motherly w vocal unit too like they always have something or the other prepped for you whenever they’re told that you’re coming along
  • seungkwan will sing some fine ass song to the bump and jeonghan pushes him to the side and overlays seungkwans voice w his bc ‘its mY CHILD BITCH, FITE ME’
  • joshua is shaking likE ‘JEONGHAN STOP SWEARING YOUR KID WILL PICK IT UP
  • but yeah seokmin always has a tea or cordial juice prepared and y’all are the acc only normal pair w no drama like he literally just asks if you and the baby have been doing ok and its like a literal mothers meeting 
  • on the DL whilst jeonghan is busy, the bump has exclusive access to the songs that have been picked for the comeback by uncle woozi like he’ll extend the earphone head thingy and he’ll just hold it to your bump and I’m writing more about svt than jeONGHAN FFS
  • i forgot to say that even tho jeonghan was dramatic at the announcement of his first child
  • boo you better know now that this guy’s laid-back as shit
  • even tho he has a band on your back at all times
  • would carry you in his arms if he could
  • he acc did like one time it rained and he waS LIKE NO I CANNOT LET YOU SLIp and y’all were also on the way to the clinic for an ultrasound so this extra ass boy literally carries you bridal style ffs i better have me a jeonghan when I’m pregnant
  • acc turns out to be more stressed out than you when you’re in labour but doesnt show it like he knows he gotta be calm for his boo otherwise it’ll all turn into a shit show and he’ll be screwed
  • gET YOUR HEAD iN THE GAME
  • he’ll honestly be a worry wart in his head whilst you’re actually giving birth like he’ll regret making you go through all this pain just to give birth to his child and
  • once he hears that shrill little cry of a baby, he tears up
  • he kisses the hell out of your perspiring face and just thanks you a shit ton bc your babys finally here and he’s just so damn thankful
  • lmao not when your baby ends up screaming at 4 in the morning for some milk
  • y’all had a girl btw, she grows to be aphrodite bc well her dads basically a gOD W THAT PRETTY FACE OF HIS JEONGHAN YOU HURT ME
  • jeonghan will honestly be the dad version of that one mum who will brag the shit out of their kids
  • not about achievements, about how good looking his children came out to be
  • remember when i said y’all have four kids at the beginning???
  • they all inherit thAT BEAUTIFUL SMILE IN THE GIF YOU BETTER FEEL BLESSED OK YOU GOT ANGELS COMING OUT OF YOUR SOUTHERN DISTRICT
  • BUT YEAH
  • will have a cuddle/sleep night from a long day of making that money
  • he’s like in the middle of the bed and your litter of children just snuggle up to him 
  • that picture stays on the living room wall for even your grandkids to see
  • so cutE I CRI
  • will bless the childrens ears from birth with his heavenly voice
  • instead of brushing their teeth, dad!jeonghan stands behind his litter and raises his voice by each octave, his children following his lead w their toothbrushes at the side of their mouth
  • he and joshua shit talk about vocal unit and their kids
  • not in the mean way tho lmao they’ll do that thing where they’ll be at the svt family reunion and will emphasise about how the rest of vocal unit are whipped for their kids (lmao as if they aren’t already)
  • seungkwan cackles in the bg as jeonghan follows one from his litter bc apparently dino’s kid denied the fact that they were their baby
  • will most likely be the dad to have all types of connections if their child wishes to go into a certain career path
  • “you’re sure you don’t want me to call this uncle up? they have some great things that they can offer-” “daD NO” “fine.”
  • will also be shut down by his kids quite a lot w savage remarks
  • will not bow down to the spawn that he helped create
  • it becomes a war of savagery where relations are forgotten
  • his kids will also learn to cheat a lot
  • jeonghan gets a taste of his own medicine in monopoly
  • “how daRE YOU CHEAT I DIDNT RAISE YOU LIKE THIS
  • jeonghan’s partner: “jeonghan you literally cheat right in front of them and tell them tricks and tips on how to do so i’m-”
  • also
  • with such immense beauty comes immense confessions of love
  • you better think right that when a bf of his daughter’s comes home for the first time that he’ll be whistling like he’s in no ones business and simply swinging a kiddy bat in a circle
  • jeonghan’s partner: “jeonghan he’s literally 8 and here on a play date”
  • jeonghan: eXACTLY, emPHASIS ON ‘DATE’”
  • that little boy also happens to be one of seungcheol’s kids so its not really coincidental that when baby cheol goes home, its at that time that jeonghan receives a call from cheol
  • “stOP THREATENING MY BOY” “IT WAS A KIDDY BAT” “STILL CLASSIFIES AS A WEAPON YOU A-HOLE” “OHMAGAAAAAAD”
  • oh yeah 
  • will sooooooOoOoOoOoOo be the dad that all the girls and even some boys crush on in high school
  • expect a sexy ass montage clip with the window rolled down and a hand going through his freshly dyed hair bc jeonghan doesnt believe in grey ones
  • 15 year old bb girl jeonghan rolls her eyes and thumps her dads head before exiting the vehicle
  • “the disRESPEKT”
  • i feel as if this is shorter than dad!seungcheol but yeah, for years to come will jeonghan be boasting about his children going on to become great things
  • THE END :)
It’s His Nature [6.5]: Crow - Bucky x Reader

Originally posted by killtheinsidegifs


Summary:
You learned through moments after meeting Bucky what his “animal” side was like. [Aka. Using metaphorical animal stereotypes to describe pieces of Bucky ]

in this chapter: The tables have turned. Two can play at this game. After bringing home a date of your own, you never realized how much of an asshole Barnes can be. 

Series Warnings/Themes: I’ll always be cussin’ please close ur ears, kids. Slowburn. Angst. Fluff. Innuendos/Dirty Talk.

Author’s Note: Bit of a longer chapter so cozy up! I loooove when adults argue like children, so you can imagine how much fun it was writing this haha. 

Y/N = Your Name

Crow: Troublesome, Cocky


Your argument with Bucky didn’t settle any tension whatsoever. In fact, it only egged him on into bringing home as many girls as he could. You were pretty sure that he lost count and has forgotten their names at this point. 

While you didn’t stick around your room for very long, you could hear giggling and playful squeals from his every single night. That was funny because you decided to sleep in the common-room…2 floors down. Tony had begrudgingly agreed to make renovations in the near future so that the complex was much more sound-proof. Sleep wasn’t an option anymore and your comrades noticed how much of a lethargic grump you were in the mornings. They knew better than to get in your way. 

“Bye, baby” a feminine (and rather nasally) voice calls out.

You groggily rub your eyes, peeking over the couch to see a girl walk out from the kitchen towards the elevator. Bucky smiles back and bites into a sandwich. You roll your eyes when he waves to her. How long were they there? Your eyes squint at the clock to see that it was practically three in the morning. 

“What the fuck?” you mumble more towards yourself than to him. Who the hell fucks and then leaves so early in the morning? Bucky chuckles which makes your gaze snap up to meet his. 

“Think her name was Naomi? Natalie?” he hums in contemplation.

“You’re a real asshole” you mutter back. Only Bucky Barnes would forget someone’s name and brag about it. 

While he was preoccupied with his food, you give him a once-over, trying to wake up from your tired state. His hair is ruffled and his red Henley was carelessly thrown on. Your eyes stop at the purple mark on his neck and you feel jealousy start to boil in the pit of your stomach. Why the hickey bothered you so much? You had no clue. He notices you staring. The corner of his lips turns into a cocky smirk before he speaks. “She’s a pretty good kisser” he mumbles, pretending to talk to himself but it was obvious that you were meant to hear it. 

Suddenly, an idea pops into your head and you can’t help but shoot him a smirk back. If he really wanted to mess with you like this, you weren’t going to back down. 

Two can play this game, cheeky-bastard. 

Keep reading

Caught

Prompt: Draco was so busy with his quidditch practices you were desperate for sex. During his daily training, you took a time for yourself to find release. But things don’t go exactly as you expected, since Draco appeared in your dorm in the exact moment you were moaning his name.

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Dominant Draco, daddy kink, spanking and bondage.

Keep reading

flood of emotions ↬ kyungsoo

d: when you have to swallow all fears for the one you love and have a sleep over
warnings: drabble, swearing, smut
w: 2,280
a/n: This is my first smut, especially on this account so I hope you enjoy this! I honestly feel like I bit off more than I could chew but it doesn’t hurt to try, right? I feel like I made this way too long and I got too shy. I have to suck it down like a man! I tried my best with the balcony scene but I felt that it would’ve been too long, but I did try to incorporate it. ~H


I slowly rose from my bed, groaning as the sunlight broke through to my eyelids. Opening my eyes slowly, I rubbed my colorful orbs to be met with my stomach grumbling for some food.

I swung my feet over the bed and looked up to my full body mirror. My hair a mess, white t-shirt lopsided over one shoulder exposing my collar bone, I slowly rose. My red bikini panties just barely showing under my long t-shirt, I grabbed my phone lazily and trudged to my food palace.

I opened my window to let in some sunlight and fresh air. It was a perfect spring day, not too cold and not too hot. It was, even more, perfect than any other normal day because I had a clear shot to see Kyungsoo cooking in his kitchen. I went into my cupboards and got the needed ingredients and utilities. I quickly whipped up some eggs in an attempt to be healthy for once in my life. I laughed to myself at the thought.

After I finished washing the dishes, I looked at the time on my phone. It was almost 10 am. I shrugged as I had nothing to do for the day and slowly walked back to my room. I opened one of my bedroom windows and let in even more air.

“You can never get over the smell of fresh air,” I said aloud to myself.

I turned around and went to shower and change into some lounging clothes for the day. A simple white tank top with a light tan sweater-like jacket and some gray sweatpants would do for the day.

I walked over to my vanity and threw my hair up into a messy bun. I grabbed my phone and decided to scroll through Instagram and see what was up with my friends.

I was soon distracted by someone singing. Looking around frantically, I was curious as to whether or not someone had broken into my home. I started making my way to my door frame and stopped at my window. I looked closer only to realize that my neighbor was singing in the most beautiful voice. I tilted my head as everything processed only to realize that he was in the shower singing to his heart’s content. I smiled warmly and watched intently.

Holy shit, I’m a stalker. I realized he stepped out of the shower. My eyes widened in fear as he turned to look out his bathroom window, to my direction. I yelped and jumped under the window and crawled out from under it, feeling the carpet imprint itself on my knees sure to leave marks for awhile. Okay, now I can’t go out there. I’ll look dumb.

I bravely walked past my room, using my peripherals to see if he was still there. I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding in and calmed down. I looked at my wall clock and saw it was now 11 am. Damn I shower way too long.

I decided to go out and get the mail. I made my way to the door not bothering to put on socks, let alone shoes. I sauntered to my mailbox and opened it, to be met with bills and pointless advertisements. I looked through the mail briefly as I closed the mailbox and sighed heavily. Adulting sucks major ass.

“Hey.”

I stopped in my place and looked around, wondering who called out.

“(y/n), over here.”

I looked up and my eyes widened at who greeted me. Kyungsoo, an angry looking Kyungsoo. I quickly tried running to my front door, but he spoke again.

“Wait, I have to ask you something.”

He jogged over to me, carrying a black duffle bag with the letters “EXO” on them. Huh, he must be part of that famous dance crew.

“Do you think I could stay at your place for a few days?”

I stood there in shock, staring into his brown orbs. He waved his hand in front of my face, looking even more annoyed than a few minutes ago.

“S-sorry. Yeah, sure. But why?”

“My place flooded while I was showering. It may be a few days.”

“I’d be more than happy to have you stay,” I smiled warmly. I opened the door and let him in. “I don’t have an extra room so you’ll have to sleep on the couch.”

He smiled warmly and looked at me with those deadly perfect eyes.

“It’s okay.”

I nodded and opened my sliding glass door, and walked out onto my balcony for a moment to get away. It was like time had stopped. I rested my arms on the balcony and took in a deep breath to calm myself down. Then, the thoughts started rolling in heavy like a storm.

Holy crap. What am I doing?

You’re too shy. Just act like he doesn’t exist

How can I ignore the most perfect man in the world?

I ran a hand through my hair and walked back in, closing the door behind me. Looking up, I noticed he was gone. Maybe he went to the bathroom. Then, I heard a bang.

I ran towards the noise and found myself nearing the kitchen.

“I’m sorry. I figured we should eat sometime.”

My mind processed what he was doing and realized he was making us dinner. I smiled shyly and tucked a stray hair from my bun up behind my ear. 

“Oh yay. I can’t wait,” I said shyly. Holy shit he looks so hot, and he’s only making us dinner.

By the time we were done, it was already 8 pm. I guess time flies when you help your crush make dinner. Plus, it’s even better when you can have a full conversation with him.

“You’re a great cook, (y/n).”

“Nah. You are. I just helped.” He looked into my eyes with a look of excitement, meaning, and lust. I felt myself gulp and lust shoot down to my core. Fuck, what is he doing to me?

“I’ll do the dishes,” I announced and started picking up plates. As I walked back to the kitchen, I could feel eyes burning into me making my folds even wetter. God, he is such a turn on. Let’s have some fun with this.

Letting my horny boldness take over, I bent down with my round orbs fully in the air to put a frying pan away. I heard a shuffle in the other room but didn’t bother to look. I dried another measuring cup and reached up, letting my tank top rise just above my waistband. Before my mind could understand, the measuring cup fell from my hands, but it never shattered.

“I think you dropped something,” I heard close from behind. Very close from behind. He reached above me and put the cup in its rightful place as he gently rubbed his forming erection behind me. I smirked knowing I had him where I wanted him.

I turned around and pulled him by his pants waistband as I bit my lip seductively. Half of me wanted me to stop and scurry away into a blanket fort, but the other half wouldn’t stop the crude actions. Guess I can’t stop now.I felt his arms snake around my waist and prop me up on my kitchen counter. Now eye level with him, I started into those brown eyes I fell in love with when I moved here. He slowly leaned in and planted his lips onto mine, and sparks flew. I could feel my stomach explode into a million tiny butterflies as our lips moved in harmony. His pink pillows felt so warm and full of want. I felt him lick my bottom lip for entrance and I happily obliged. His warm, wet muscle dived into my mouth and discovered every inch of my mouth. The way his tongue felt, it felt like two puzzle pieces finally coming together. 

He picked me up and instructed me to wrap my legs around his waist, which I followed. I wrapped my arms around his neck, slowly running my fingers through his black, thick hair.

Before I knew it, I was being thrown onto my bed. I looked up to him and saw him smirking towards my window.

“Ya know, I saw you looking at me earlier while I showered,” he trailed off.

I blushed deeply and hid behind my tan sweater jacket. “You also shouldn’t wear this around me. It shows off your curves perfectly and I’ve wanted to pounce on you for awhile. I think it’s time we both get what we want, hm?” I immediately felt a dagger of pleasure being stabbed into my core and my panties drenching at the words that escaped those perfect pink lips.

“Absolutely.”

I removed my jacket and tank top, only to be left in a white bra and my gray sweatpants. 

“God, you look so beautiful.”

I blushed hard at his statement and pulled him in for another kiss, only more passionate. His hands made my body feel at home, feeling every inch, every curve of my body. I moaned into his mouth as our tongues danced. 

I slid my hand under his shirt and swiftly removed it, only breaking this kiss once. As he brought his hands to my sides, he swiftly left kisses down my jawline to my neck, marking it as his own. Falling in love with the feeling of his teeth biting into me, I encouraged him to keep going by pushing him into me. 

I groaned, earning a deep thrust onto his groin. He growled deeply and trailed his hands down to my waist band, almost tearing my panties and sweats off. I gasped at the sudden gush of cold air hit my clit. His hands traveled down to my now wet pussy, feeling it up and down slowly.

“So fucking soaked, baby doll. How about I taste how sweet you are, hm?” He slowly kissed down my body, leaving multiple bruises and hickeys, each one earning small moans and gasps from me.

He licked a long stripe up my pussy, flicking at my extra sensitive clit. I moaned out loud and he looked up to me.

“You taste exquisite baby girl.” I moaned at the new nickname and found my fingers in his hair, pulling for dear life as he plunged his wet muscle deep inside me.

With my back arched, I moaned out his name as if it was the only word I knew. Like it was the only word that mattered.

He began by sticking his long middle finger into me, pumping in and out to match his tongue flicking on my clit. I pulled even harder on his hair, feeling the long forgotten feeling of the pit of arousal beginning to form already.

“Is my baby going to cum already? When’s the last time you touched yourself?” He stuck a second finger into my soaked pussy and began curving his fingers, sending me into euphoria. I couldn’t even answer his question, even if it was true. I haven’t touched myself in months, but this is fucking worth it.

“F-fuck. Kyungsoo!” I felt myself tighten around his fingers and release all over them. He let me ride out my high and removed his fingers, licking them as he crawled on top of me.

He began undoing his pants and took them off in one swift motion. It was now that I had noticed how defined he was. Strong muscles, a toned abdomen. I guess dancing is great exercise.

Before I knew it, he positioned himself at my entrance letting me feel his tip. I pulled him down to kiss my lips as I felt himself slowly push into me.

“Oh g-god,” I moaned out, biting my lip.

“Not quite love, but thank you.” He laughed and started to thrust in and out, his dick spreading my pussy wider than I expected.

I began clawing at his back, screaming like I had never before. He slammed into me at a mild pace, but he hit my sweet spot every damn time. 

“Please!”

“Please what, love?”

“Please. Go rougher.”

“As you wish, princess.”

He pulled out of me, flipped me over, and was back inside me within a few seconds. I yearned to look into his eyes but he was hitting my g-spot easier and slamming into me like no other.

His hands dug into my waist, surely bruising me. I didn’t care, I was too busy holding onto my headboard, and pushing against him to feel him even deeper inside me. 

“Holy shit. I’m gonna cum soon.”

“Damn, when’s the last time you touched yourself?” I slyly remarked. I heard him growl and in response he slammed even harder into me, collecting my arms and taking them hostage behind me. 

It wasn’t soon before I released all over him, practically chanting his name. He released my arms as I fell onto the pillow as he released all over my back, groaning loudly.

He got up from his spot and went to retrieve some toilet paper to clean me up. He threw it in the trash bin next to my bed and lied down next to me.

I gathered the covers and pulled them over us. He wrapped his arm around me as I laid my head on his strong muscle. He pulled me close, not caring about the sweat of tonight’s activities.

He pulled my head close to kiss my temple and softly began singing the song I heard earlier while he was in the shower. I soon fell asleep, leaving where we stand for us to figure out in the morning.

s i l l a g e | pt. six

Pairing: Reader / Jeon Jeongguk.

Genre: Soulmate!AU where soulmates are drawn to one another by the infliction of physical touch, whether it be pain or pleasure. But it is only initiated once the two people somewhat interact.

Count: 7,802 words.

Warnings: So much fluff I am seriously cringing. Pain and puking warning. Foreplay smut. All with a sprinkle of angst. Dinner is served.


Jeongguk is not used to waking up in his own bed with another laying beside him, but he certainly thinks he can get used to it.

She is already awake, sitting up with crossed legs, bent over her phone that she balances in one hand, her other used to prop her chin up on her knee. He wonders how she can appear so effortlessly gorgeous doing something that simple, his sweater swallowing her smaller frame, pooled in a sea of black cotton in her lap. Jeongguk stretches with his eyes screwed tightly shut, making a pleasant groan that cracks into something a little higher as a bone in his spine pops satisfyingly, and she perks up at the movement just in time for him to loop an arm around her waist and pull her back down into the duvet with a squeak. He presses his face into her hair, moaning while nuzzling deep into the strands, inhaling her delicious lavender shampoo.

Keep reading

High School Mark AU

Originally posted by monoka

Request: hi! can i request a high school mark au please!! and good luck with your blog!

MY FIRST REQUEST YESSSSSSSS
Thanks so much for requesting! I hope you like this!

-High school Mark

-high school mark

-hiGh sChOOl maRK

-high school mark lee

-hiGH sCHOol mARK LeE

-let’s paint a picture

-so high school mark is popular but not extremely

-like everyone knows him because he’s a sweet bun who always smiles and helps people but he’s not like that school jock everyone fawns over

-you know what I mean?

-his favorite color is yellow

-because sunshine and happiness

-like everything he owns is yellow

-yellow shirts, and sweaters, and bags,and notebooks, and folders, and EVERY SINGLE THING IS YELLOW

-he’s an awkward sweet sunshine whose goal in life is to make everyone happy

-what a cutie

-you two became friends through a school project in freshman year

-It was for freshman composition (aka writing skills)

-he would always be super nice and all smiles so you were like what is it with this kid

-he would always insist on doing more of the work but you were also one of the nicest bestest people in the world so you would not allow that

-your project ended up being the best Best BEst BESt BEST one

-and from then on mark would always say hi to you and eat lunch with you and sit next to you and stuff

-so, even though mark works hard on big projects like these

-Mark is probably that type of person who does a lot of shit at the last minute

Keep reading

Blood Moon Rising (Part 2)

Author: @mrs-mitch-rapp93

Word Count: 1,895

Warnings: Cussing, mention of sex.

Characters: Stephanie, Dean, Stiles, Scott, Lydia, Malia, Sam.

Summary: Stephanie gets to know The Pack, and finds out about the murders that have been going on in Beacon Hills.

Author’s Note: Thanks again @cathobs for proofreading for me!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10

Originally posted by slytherinvoid

The bell rang, I started gathering my things, as I was putting my pencils and notebook in my backpack I didn’t notice my silver switch blade fell out. I continued to put away my belongings and out of the corner of my eye I saw Stiles crouch down and pick it up, he looked at it for a sec and looked around to see if anyone else noticed, he slid the small blade into my hand and acted like nothing happened. I put the dagger away and zipped my backpack up and stood up.

“Steph, you ready for lunch?” Stiles asked while looking down at me, he was about 5’10”, I was 5’1” so he towered over me.

“I’m starving.” I replied while putting my backpack over my shoulders. Stiles offered his semi muscular arm for me to take, I wrapped my arm around his, Scott joined us and we followed him out into the hallway. I could tell I was going to like this town. We ate our lunches outside, we joined two girls named Lydia Martin, and Malia Tate. I sat next to Stiles, I unzipped my backpack and took out my lunch which was only an apple and a bag of chips, when Dean and I got into town we didn’t have a whole lot of time to go to the grocery store since Dean had to go investigate the murders.

“Steph, where did you get that leather jacket its gorgeous?” Lydia asked me. I was wearing a black leather crop jacket with a long sky blue t-shirt, leggings and my black Madden Girl Chandra Combat Boots.

“Oh, uh I’m not sure actually. My brother, Sam, got it for me for my birthday last month.” I replied.

“Your brother has good taste” Lydia said with a smile.

“So, where are you from Steph.” Scott asked.

“I’m from Lawrence, Kansas, I live with my two older brothers Dean and Sam.” I answered while putting a chip in my mouth.

“What brought you to Beacon Hills.” Stiles asked as he took a sip from his coke

“Uh. We came to Beacon Hills because my brothers are in the FBI.” I answered, while finishing my bag of chips.

“Wait, are your brothers investigating the murders that have been going on for the last few weeks.” Stiles asked, with a curious look on his face.

“Yah, they told me that they were pretty brutal murder scenes.” I answered.

“My dad works for the Sheriff’s Department and told me that these murders are bizarre the bodies are all clawed up and bloody and they have blood coming out of their eyes.” Stiles answered, as he tried throwing his trash in the garbage can that was near us and ended up missing.

“So how many bodies have turned up.” I asked, while taking a bite out of my apple.

“There has been two so far.” Stiles answered.

“So, what does your dad think it is?” Lydia contributed to the conversation.

“He isn’t sure.” Stiles said as the school bell rang.  

Keep reading

“Do Me Bad” (Pt6)

Part 1, Part 2 ,Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10

Member: Sehun from EXO

Genre: College!au: Angst

A/N: I’m sorry this took me awhile to do but thank you to everyone who reads and loves my series i’m sorry to keep you waiting! (Shit goes down in this part so get your tissues and popcorn)


“Ugh Sehun again…..” your phone rang for the 5th time. You were done with Sehun. You knew that he would try calling but the thought of talking to him just felt wrong. Everything still hurt since the last time you fought. This past month you fell hard for Sehun but it still amazed you how only a few sentences could make you rethink things.

-          “Pls call me Y/N we need to talk.”

A text from Sehun brightened your phone screen.  Sehun was never the type to just “talk” about things, he always kept his feelings hidden and moved on as soon as the situation was over so it was surprising that he actually wanted to “talk”.

-          “Meet me tomorrow at the cafeteria”

The screen lit up with another text message. Your brain was working overtime from school and everything that was going on so you decided to agree and meet him tomorrow.


8:00 AM “ your alarm rang, waking you up with a groan and an icky attitude. God not school again. You got up slowly and got ready for your first class of the day.

Let’s just say that math was never your thing and falling asleep in class instead sounded absolutely great. You spent the next 2 hours half awake and on your phone. Equations were not for today.

“Hey  Y/N…” a hand nudged you. Opening your eyes, a muscular figure stood in front of you.

“Hey the class is over….I just thought I should wake you up since I know for sure you don’t wanna stay for the micro economics class that starts here in 5 minutes” you suddenly sprung out of your seat.

“WHAT TIME IS IT?” you yelled at Minseok.

“Lunch time why?” he responded, looking at his phone.

“SHIT I GOTTA GO I’M SORRY BUT THANK YOU FOR WAKING ME UP!!!” you yelled, springing out of your seat and grabbing your bag.


You were already in front of the cafeteria when you felt a hand grip at your arm. “WAIT Y/N-“Minseok yelled right before you stopped your run.  

“We have to do this project in math and I was wondering if you wanted to do it with me?” He shined you down with a smile. Before you could answer him, your gaze shifted to Sehun in the cafeteria.

“Sure Minseok I just gotta go right now so I’ll talk to you later about it ok?” you let yourself out of his grip and strut towards Sehun’s direction.

“Hey wait you should take my number so I could text you the details since we don’t have a class next week” He smiled again. You handed him your phone and quickly sneaked another look at Sehun standing inside in line.

“Here you go” Minseok’s warm voice surrounded your ear once again but your body was frozen and your gaze was set on Sehun.

“What’s wrong?” he tapped your arm, looking at the direction you were looking at.

“That girl…..who is she?” you pointed at the girl that just wrapped her arm around Sehun’s shoulder, kissing his cheek.

“Oh I don’t know but I think I’ve seen her around campus a couple of times…..why?” his voice confused.

“Hey Minseok can I ask you a favor?” your expression fell and was replaced with an emotionless smirk.

Your mind didn’t know what to do. Sehun was making his way outside and the girl was right behind him. He wanted to talk…… was he going to break up with you? Has he already found someone new so soon? There was no way you were going to give him the satisfaction of breaking up with you just like any girl he dated.

“You see that guy? It’s my boyfriend. Well…..my ex boyfriend now. Can you make out with me when he walks out? I just-“you were shut up with Minseok’s lips on yours.

His lips moved slowly at first, tasting every inch of you as his hand made its way around your hip, pulling you closer. You had to admit, he was a great kisser. Your lips were attacking each other, fighting for breath before you felt his tongue lick your lips, asking for more access. His tongue made its way to yours, gently dancing around it as you unconsciously let out a moan in his mouth, your hand pulling him closer by his neck.  

Minseok pulled away breathless and with a smirk. His head tilted to your right, signaling you to look at where he was pointing. Suddenly you saw a frozen Sehun standing in the middle of the way. His gaze was cold and his lips parted slightly as if he were surprised or tried to hold back his tears, or maybe both. Your eyes met and the next thing you saw was him shaking his head and turning his back to you, walking away.

Why did he look so hurt and disappointed? He’s the one that was cheating on you.


“She cheated on me.” Sehun nearly whispered, crashing head down on Jongin’s bed.

“What did you say?” Jongin turned around on his chair, facing a very done Sehun.

“SHE CHEATED ON ME” Sehun yelled all over the room, anger in his voice.

“What? Y/N would never do that are you sure it wasn’t just a misunderstanding?” Jongin’s voice turned sweet and soft.

“If by misunderstanding you mean seeing a guy with his tongue deep in my girlfriend’s throat then yeah sure it was a misunderstanding.” Sehun sat up, running his fingers through his silver hair and shifting his gaze to match with Jongin’s.

“Who was she kissing?” Jongin’s face suddenly turned into a confused frown.

“I don’t know but I know that it took literally everything in my body to not walk up to him and punch the hell out of his perfectly shaped face. I was just waiting to meet her and talk to her about what happened and apologize about some things I said and then my project partner came and asked me about our assignment and when we should meet and the next thing I know my girlfriend is making out with some pretty ass fairy man.” Sehun’s fist was clenched and his stare filled with anger.

“But if she was cheating on you why would she just kiss that guy in public if she knew that some people know you and her were dating?” Jongin questioned Sehun’s story.

“I don’t know, ask your best friend. I’m not in the mood for anything right now” Sehun got a cigarette out of his pocket and quickly lit it up before Jongin could protest.

“AH SEHUN NOT IN MY ROOM THAT THING STINKS- Sure whatever it’s not like I get a say about what is done in my room or not. Also I don’t know about this whole cheating thing……something seems off. This isn’t the Y/N I know. I would talk to her but you know things haven’t been the best between us” Jongin got up and snatched the cigarette box off of Sehun’s hand.

“Do whatever you want just find out whatever that guy’s name is so I could beat him up for trying to mess up things up with me and the only thing I care about.”

Things from a very broke person… (uk based)
  • The cats will eat the cheap cat food, but you are going to feel guilty as hell. Lidl do a ‘stick’ treat that’s cheap as hell and my cats will go INSANE for them. Seriously. I might lose a finger one day.
  • Cheap bubble bath foams just as good as the expensive stuff, it’ll feel like a treat. (I use Asdas, the ‘man smell’ ones, was 2 for £2 or something, lasts for ages)
  • Those giant bags of cheap rice are a fucking lifesaver. (about £5/£7 depending on the type)
  • Those ‘easy cheap meals’ online are only easy and cheap if you have a fully stocked cupboard.
  • Don’t worry too much about those posts that tell you to shop around. It’s only cheaper if you can walk, remember petrol and bus fares add up when you are trying to save 4p on washing up liquid. It’s not always worth it.
  • Lidl and Aldi are the BEST place for fresh veg – seriously.
  • Also, Lidl has some fantastic meat – I buy the chicken breasts and freeze them singly.
  • Jars of sauce + lentils + a single chicken breast chopped up small/pulled = at least five lunches if you have rice or pasta! They are high in fat but its filling and tastes good. You can add mushrooms/peppers/frozen veg and bulk it up.
  • Lentils will bulk anything up. Same with rice. Add them to jars of curry sauce, soups, even stews.
  • Freeze leftovers.
  • Buy frozen veg and add handfuls of it to whatever you are making. Seriously, peas go with pretty much everything.
  • Egg fried rice! Easy as hell and super filling – throw in some frozen peas, any leftover scraps of chicken/pork/meat/fish… easy, fast and cheap as hell.
  • Even plastic cheese tastes okay melted on top of stuff. (I mean like the slices, you know?)
  • A slow cooker is worth it if you get a cheap one. I use mine for bulk cooking.
  • No haircut is ‘maintenance free’.
  • Don’t get too stressed about clothes – it sucks when you get a timehop and you are still wearing the same shirt (mine was 7 years ago) if it still fits, wear it. Fuck people.
  • Asda own brand detergent is just as good as branded stuff and the tropical stuff smells really nice. Same with fabric softener.
  • Sainsbury’s isn’t as expensive as you might think – the washing up liquid is also just as good as Fairy. (I like the blue one, it smells clean)
  • Don’t even bother skimping on the one thing you love. For me its diet coke… the store brands are NOT AS GOOD. Most places will have 30 packs on offer at some point. Save up and buy it in bulk.
  • The little bottles of diet lemonade in Asda are bogof for a tray – it’s GREAT if you wanna add in diluted juice or for sticking in the car / just for having a quick drink.
  • Lidl have a brand of crisps called ‘Snacktastic’ in multipacks of 30. I get the ‘meaty’ ones, and they are better than Walkers. I shit you not. Half the price too.
  • Charity shops smell weird, and sometimes the grans inside will give you funny looks. Fuck em. Buy a 50p book and get used to it. You can sometimes find some fucking treasures (I picked up a brand new bedding set for £3, still in the packet!) beside the overpriced old Primark stuff. (Seriously. It was cheaper new.)
  • Asda home wear section. It’s seriously unexplainable how much better you will feel and how proud you will be of your bathroom if you buy all matching towels. Asda have great colours – honestly, a sheet, a hand towel, a rug and two facecloths. Lay them out, fold them nice. You feel like an adult and the quality is good enough that they do last. Get a new shower curtain too. Trust me. It’s a mini makeover and the cost will be under £30.
  • Primark. A lot of people think its shit quality and they aren’t wrong, but my 7 year time hop was a checked shirt from Primark and it’s still wearable to work.
  • Matalan vests are great quality and will go under cheaper quality shirts so your bra / binder won’t show. I have about 20 and I love them – they also look great with skinny jeans and boots. No one can tell they were like… £2.
  • Ebay. You know that already.
  • Buy the best quality bras you can. They last longer; you get the support you need. Don’t stint on bras (or binders!)
  • Buy cheap socks and pants. Men’s stocks are normally cheaper in packs, and they go higher up your legs than the girls stuff.
  • Shop online for glasses. I used Goggles 4 U for my sunglasses for driving. £15. Just as good as my Red or Dead ones from 8 years ago that cost me £120. You can get a free eye test at Specsavers and just ask for a copy of your prescription. Remember to ask about your pupil distance!
  • Savers make-up has a cheap brand that looks like Too Faced. It’s in almost identical packaging, and it’s won a lot of awards in blind testing. Good for sponges too!
  • Most perfumes have those tiny sample bottles. Ask the salesgirl for one to see how it wears.
  • Pound shop pills are just as good as Boots. Same with vitamins. The plasters tend to be shit though. Use Asda or Boots.
  • Cheap razors are the same for men and women. Normally cheaper for the men though. To stop stubble burn on the legs, buy a super (super) cheap conditioner for hair and use that like the shaving foam. Sounds weird, clogs the razor by the end, but genuinely works very well. Also, smooth legs!
  • Keep a book of stamps in your purse/wallet. It’s super handy!
  • Bulk buy your kitchen roll, toilet roll and sanitary products.
  • Flowers are expensive, buy a Peace Lily. They are super easy to keep alive and look pretty awesome. (keep out of the reach of cats!)
  • Cheap frames. If you see a photo frame for under £1, buy it. You can cover a wall with mismatched frames and it’ll look awesome, and hide some serious flaws. You don’t even need art, frame some nice wrapping paper or comic pages, even newspaper articles, photos or drawings from the kids (or even cards you received)
  • A fresh coat of paint will work wonders, and B&Q always have offers on. Asda sells paint now too. Just take your time. If pintrest tells you it’s a ‘quick afternoon project’ it’ll take a week for you to complete.
  • Larger charity shops or local facebay sites can REALLY help you furnish your home. Don’t worry if it doesn’t match, it’s a stopgap till you can buy what you like. You might also find some really good quality stuff that can be painted and kept for a loooong time.
  • A chest freezer will save your life.
  • Be fucking polite to sales people. You might be broke but they gotta deal with some shit day in and day out. It’s not their fault if that coupon has expired or the price tag is wrong.
  • Carpool if you can.
  • If you like a product, write them a letter. Might be nothing. Might get you a coupon.
  • No matter how well you budget, you will fuck up at some point. You’ll spent £100 on something you can’t afford, don’t NEED and just WANT. Try not to do it a lot, but honestly, sometimes you’ll just fuck up. It’s okay. You aren’t a robot.
  • Plan on doing something once a month. You are going to need something to look forward too else why the fuck are you working? Go to the cinema with friends, buy a ticket on one of those tourist buses, check your local venues and spend £15 on a show you’d never normally see, go to the beach with a small picnic. Do one thing a month, maybe right after payday. Invite your friends; make it a ‘thing’. It’s hard to go on nights out when you’ve nothing to wear and can’t afford to keep up with the rounds of drinks, so make a day event where you can still be super social, hang out with friends and do something fun. Just make sure you budget for it!
  • Tell your friends that money is tight. They might not be aware that you are struggling and may try to have more outings that are less expensive.
  • Most people like curry – make a chicken curry, rice and naan and invite friends around. Byob. You get to host a night in – card games or board games or even charades are hilarious after a few beers and a good meal. Pudding can be anything from jelly and icecream to a cheap chocolate cake in the microwave for a few seconds and some cream. It’s low cost and high returns – you look like your being generous while not actually spending a lot (esp good if you are trying to hide the fact you’re eating rice 7 nights a week).

(add on your own hits and tips!)

Fantasy

Gay fantasy for me and my best friend.

I know no one will see this or even read it (This is more for me to get my ideas on a permanent place), but just for reference: My best friend (justin) is straight and has a 9 inch dick. Since we were 13 and 14, we have jerked off together, over the course of the time I have been slowly convincing him to let me blow him. When I came out things kinda changed. Maybe 6 months after I came out I asked him and he said maybe. The next week I blew him and have been blowing him most times I see him since (once or twice a month). Im really good at it and am really quite good at deepthroating the whole thing. But any time I bring up anal I have to pretend that Im against it too cause he is soooo adamant against it. Well anyway, im going to his house this weekend and I expect to blow him, but I have a fantasy of how anal could start. (Right now we’re both 18 but for all u boy lovers, I have been giving him handys since 13 and started sucking his dick at 15)

Justin’s mom and dad are out for dinner and his sister left to go meet her friends before going clubbing about 20 minutes ago. 

We’re in his room and he asks “are you horny?” and I reply “yes”

“good cause im super horny… Ive been horny all day and havent jerked off in like 5 days”

“lol i jerked off last night, but yeah im super horny, too” 

“you wanna watch porn?” he asks

“I mean sure, but aren’t we passed that point?” I ask with a little bit of hesitation

“yeah but idk isnt it a formality?”

“Lol yeah true” I say pretending that I dont hate the fact that Im not gonna get to blow him for another 20 or 30 mins.

“hey wait i tottaly forgot to tell you!” he says walking out of his room

“what?” I say following him. He goes into his sisters room and goes into her closet and rummages through some shit until he pulls out a black dildo. “holy shit” I say

“I know! when I found this i was shook.” he says walking back to his room with the dildo

“Ive legit never seen one before” I say (which is true… I have to get creative)

“Really?”

“yeah… is it bigger than your dick?” I ask

“I dont think so, i have to get hard. Ill get the porn up”

“cool.” I say while picking up the dildo. “i wish you found a fleshlight or something. Ya know? like something we can actually use. Like its cool and all cause its a sex toy but like how are we gonna use it?” I ask

“idk. well I guess you could use it” he says

“What do you mean by that?…” I ask

“Well i mean you could practice deepthroating with it, right?”

“Oh yeah… true. Will be the same though? like I feel like an actual dick is softer”

“Try it” he says almost like a command. I do and obviously I can deepthroat it. “see you can practice ahahh.” He says jokingly while he pulls up a straight porn video. We both sit down and start rubbing ourselves. After a little while of rubbing, justin takes out his dick and says “hand me the dildo” I do and he places it next to his dick. His dick is a good inch bigger. “Yeah definitely bigger” he says

“I can obviously deep throat the dildo fine, but still think its harder than your dick, even though its shorter. I guess it would be a good way to practice haha.”

“Well you dont know for sure, but theres a pretty easy way to find out” he says with the dildo still propped up next to his own dick. Without saying anything, i get up and on my knees in front of him and start sucking his dick. I want to get it a bit, but he clearly doesnt care as i feel his hand push on my head. I go down until my throat is full and my nose is in his pubes. “Now try the dildo” he says, again like a command. I pull off and try the dildo. I pull off and say “Your dick is much easier.”

“well maybe its because your throat is used to my dick… keep going” he says moving the dildo away. I keep sucking his dick. Every minute or so i deepthroat. In between I bob up and down, lick his head, his tip, up and down the shaft, sometimes the balls. As i am kneeling, I go down for my 5th or 6th deepthroat after maybe 5 minutes of straight sucking. When fully in my throat, he places his hand on my head and pushes down harder and stands up. this results in my face smushing into his abs. my nose is completely squished and the rest of my face makes full contact with his stomach. when he releases i slowly pull up and keep sucking his dick. I guess he did expect me to handle it that well. expecting me to pull off. instead i keep sucking for maybe 4 or 5 seconds until he puts his plan back into action. He places his hands on the back of my head, puts his leg up on his bed and starts face fucking. Hitting the back of my throat every thrust, every other 5 or so he pushes it to a deepthroat. I am good at sucking dick, but this is a lot to take. After a minute or so of this abuse, he pulls out and says “Holy shit that was good but I dont wanna cum yet”

“Im shocked you havent already”

“Well I hope that wasnt too much for you” he says… finally seeing signs of my friend again and not the sex beast he turns into

“No it wasnt too bad” I say

“I guess the practice on the dildo worked” he says… hitting my ear wrong

“I guess so haha. That just sounds so weird to me. Ya know? it just sounds so anal.. when you were like you could use it I thought you were implying Anal and i was shocked.”

“Yeah no thats not what I meant… but considering how horny I am today, i wouldnt be shocked if I said some dumb shit like that and meant it.”

“Hahah you’re that horny, huh? Well I mean at first I was scared cause I thought you were insinuating that you wanted to… ya know.. and idk your dick is just too big haha. But I suppose if I used the dildo first it would help…”

“Hahah well it worked great for blowjobs so ahhah”

“You’re not serious, are you?”

“no no no not at all! are you kidding”

“No haha good… cause if you were serious that shit would probably take a while” 

“what do you mean?”

“well I mean to stretch enough for ur dick would take a long time cause im reeaallly tight” i say trying to turn him on 

“Well my sister wont be home till tomorrow and my parents wont be home until around 1Am so i mean you would have time, but lets just go back to porn for now and continue the bj in a little bit.” he says.

“Yeah” I say. He is completely naked watching the porn but i am still in my boxers cause well my bits usually dont get much action when I suck justins dick, but I have a feeling tonight might be different. “Its getting hot in here” I say, as I stand and take my boxers off, making sure that my ass is facing him when I bend down to get them off in a subtle suggestive way. I sit back down and we look at the porn, but neither of us are jerking off to preserve the nut. He gets up and tells me he is going to use the bathroom and when he gets back that we should continue. I agree to his terms. I take this opportunity to make sure my butt is facing him when he gets back. I stand up and get my phone and when I hear him coming back I bend over to put my phone away in my bag on the floor. As he we walks in, my butt and hole are now in full view. when he walks in, instead of telling me to come and suck his dick, he surprises me by sitting back on his bed and asking me a question. 

“How long, do you think, would the dildo take to get someone ready for my cock.” He asks as i know he is starting to fall into my trap

“I have no idea.. why?”

“Well i mean what if I want to do anal with a girl but dont have all night. like how long do you think it would take roughly.” he says grabbing his dick and starting to stroke it

“I literally have no idea. I would say look it up, but i doubt some sort of study or answer like that exists online.”

“Yeah I guess ill just have to find out the hard way. but it would be good to know ahead of time.”

“yeah it probably would huh.” as I say this, he gets up a gets the dildo and brings it back to him and he sits down with it. He puts it up against his dick, which is now hard.

“Well its shorter than mine by a little so probably once someone is used to it I could fuck them fine and it would still be tight.”

“Yeah… well it would still probably take a while.”

“yeah, sucks to be this big haha. Stupid problems i have to deal with. Thats why it would be good to know how long it would take ya know…”

“Yeah… well if you ya know… wanted that data… then… idk… if you wanted maybe… i could…” 

“Are you sure thats cool? I mean i wont think anything different of you… i would just really help me out…!” He says kinda giddy

“Yeah np… do you have lube”

“Yeah” he says getting some vaseline. He gives me the vaseline and the dildo.

“Do you wanna watch or do u want me to do this in private and let you know after ?”

“umm… I mean if you dont mind me watching Im happy to stay and keep you company.. i mean, dude youre doing me a favor so…”

“Yeah i dont mind.” I say and the start to lube my hole and the dildo while my friend sits in his desk chair and watches, slowly stroking his dick. I start to push and I am quite tight. it takes like two minutes to get the first inch in and then another 2 seconds to the get the 2nd,. 3rd, and 4th. I hear him say woah. I start relaxing and after maybe 5 to ten minutes I can comfortably get 7.5 inches of the 8 inch dildo up my ass. 

“Holy shit” he says

“yeah i guess it didn’t take too long after all.. like 10 mins or so.”

“Yeah wow. well.. uh… thank you.. do you think you would be comfortable to just leave it up there?” I don’t respond and just put it back up and leave it in. Its fine. “Wow… hey, can u hand me the vaseline” he says

“Sure…” I say skeptical about the use. I give him the vaseline with the dildo still up my ass . He takes some vaseline and starts rubbing it on his dick. “Why are you doing that, its gonna taste gross” i say.

“Well we’re not gonna go back to blowing now… we’re gonna jerk off a bit more first” 

“Oh sure yeah ok… so ill just take this out.” I say taking out the dildo, making sure he can see it sliding out of my ass. I am really shocked at how forward justin has been tonight.. Usually he beats around the bush or says something while insinuating something else, and obviously he has done that tonight, but I proud about how direct he was being. Well.. proud until he said “Hey I know you like sitting in this chair while we jerk off, do you wanna sit here?”

“Oh sure yeah” I say getting up waiting for him to get up

“Whats the matter? I offered the chair” he says

“I wanna sit in the chair… let me sit in it.”

“I am letting you… just sit on it” He says with that I under stand what he says. My ass is still very lubed up and his dick is shining with vaseline. Playing along I I say “Okay, yeah ill just sit down then…” Then i turn around and lower my hole onto his dick. Because of all of the lube the first few inches go quick, but it soon becomes quite hard to handle and regardless of all that stretching im still tight.  I accidently let out  girly moan at maybe the 7th inch and I hear him whisper “fuck yeah…. you’re so tight still”.

As im struggling to get his 8 th I hear him whisper me a command: “bounce”… so I do and I start to bounce up and down and i start moaning soft less girly moans than before each bounce. I hear him grunt in please under me. Its all going fine until he repeats his signature move. as im going down for another bounce, he grabs my pelvis and stands up pulling me in closer, sending all nine inches up my tight hole. I let out a scream as he yells “Fuck Yes!!!” He holds me there for another few seconds as im wincing trying to deal with the intense pain. He breaks the bond by pushing me off his dick and onto his bed. I lay there almost paralyzed by his dick. He hops on agains and starts thrusting into me hard and fast. Almost going into me 9 inches everytime. I was in extreme pain until it turned into the best feeling in the world. We both start saying things like fuck yes. Then he slows down and says “you like this, huh?” 

“yes” I say honestly. He starts to slow down and rhythmically fuck me. Not pounding, but sexy, body rolling thrusts getting all 9 inches in every time. I bring my knees up to a frog position to open my ass even more and use the leverage to start push back into him. He keep fucking like this for another few minutes until the friction from the sheets on my dick and his god like dick up my ass make start coming. I yell “im coming!” so he speeds up and starts pounding again and gives me the craziest orgasm. He keeps pounding throught the squeezes my asshole gives him until he pounds in extremely deep in me. I can barely feel it but deep in me I feel his hot liquid. The start of a true fuck buddy relationship… HOPEFULLY!!

7

Is everyone watching Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries? Because if you’re not, you need to stop whatever it is your doing and start watching it. What? You need reasons? You won’t just blindly accept my TV show recommendations despite my impeccable taste and the fact that I’ve NEVER led you astray before?

Ok. Fine. Here all the reasons you should commit yourself to a life of solitude until you’ve gotten through all the episodes of Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries.

1.     ESSIE DAVIS. Essie Davis. This broad is THE SHIT. She is in her forties and she will look better in death than I do in the prime of my life. These are the facts people. Essie Davis.

2.     Phryne Fisher is an icon. Like seriously. She has the best taste in clothes, men and weapons. In nearly every episode she has sex with some gorgeous man she just met…she used to pose nude for some French artist…when she was kid she was in the carnival…she keeps a dagger in her garter and a gun in her purse…she’s the best. Phryne Fisher. Know her. Love her. Emulate her.

3.     Her best friend is a gay doctor that wears the best looking suits around and is wicked smart.

4.     All the men on the show are super loyal to her and think she’s the shit as opposed to being intimidated by her or waste their time trying to belittle her.

5.     Speaking of men on the show…have we gotten to Nathan Page aka Detective Inspector Jack Robinson? Because break me off a piece of the Aussie honey…dude is F I N E

6.     And his chemistry with Essie Davis is out of this world. Like seriously, two seconds of them on screen together will definitely heat up your hard drive (AY OOOH)

7.     She’s got a wicked smart and loyal companion in Dot, her sidekick and house helper. Besides the plethora of other awesome ladies on the show…Dot and Phryne’s general musings on life, death and murder ensure that every episode of Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries passes the Bechdel Test. EVERY DAMN EPISODE.

8.     Professor Sprout plays Miss Fisher’s aunt.

9.     The show is set in the twenties and shows women having sex, taking birth control, doing drugs and other generally human things that women have been doing for a long time, even though the patriarchy would like you to believe that for the majority of history we’ve sat demurely in dens cross stitching, or standing in kitchens cooking.

10.   SPOILER: There’s an episode where a girl that Phryne teaches manners and etiquette to shows up dead on a beach and so Phryne is all like FUCK THIS SHIT and teaches the rest of the girls self defense and its awesome

11.   The mysteries are predictable but entertaining, which means you are engaged enough to care about what is happening but still able to enjoy all the other fun stuff they do on the show. Like Miss Fisher having sex with a lot of gorgeous dudes.

12.   Seriously…the dudes on the show! In one episode she has sex with Russian ballet dancer. In another one she has sex with a Chinese aristocrat. In another a communist revolutionary. Like…it’s awesome. Phryne Fisher is having more sex than you and you should care. 

Ok. You should have stopped reading the list by now. I’m hoping by like #6 you were like…dude this show sounds fucking awesome…and you stopped reading and went to go watch it because all the current episodes are on Netflix. If you did keep reading I hope you realize how silly that was because it just took time away from you watching this show. GO WATCH IT NOW. Beautiful people, lots of sex, and MURDER…what more do you need?

Season 12 Wishlist

Okay so now that the season finale has aired and we have all had at least a little bit of time to think it through, I decided to start this positivity post for Season 12 because I don’t know about you guys but I am SO EXCITED about Season 12 I cannot even begin to describe how excited I am. So I’m writing a wishlist instead which anyone is free to add onto:

1. Castiel gets his emotional arc resolved - This is a big one. As a Cas girl I was left unsatisfied with Castiel’s arc this season, HOWEVER, we KNOW from previous Dabb episodes that he loves to explore Castiel’s emotional story and I have no doubt that this will continue into season 12. Our angel still has a story ahead of him (hopefully ending in the love of a certain green eyed hunter.)

2. SUPERBRITISH - I am not going to stop going on about this. This is my land, My green and (fairly) pleasant land. The British are coming to Supernatural and I cannot stop being excited about it. Can I please have ALL the TFW in London head canons please? From traffic jams and silly accents to discovering the glory that is a bacon roll from Gregs on a Sunday morning whilst suffering a horrendous hangover.

3. Awesome female characters continuing to kick ass - I adored the use of female characters in the finale. They all lived, no one female was a sexy lamp (sadly that role was given to Castiel) and no one got forced into unnecessary make out sessions. The women are smart, sarcastic badass queens who will RULE this show come October, and I for one, cannot wait. 

4. Men of Letters vs Grand Coven - Yes this is a big one and I am hoping is the main story arc going forward into season 12. I want to see more of the Grand Coven of witches and their European battle with the Men of Letters. I am expecting more awesome women kicking ass thanks to this potential storyline.

5. Mother Mary and family time - Mary’s reveal was pretty amazing especially since I think we were all expecting it to just be her ghost or a vision or something, but nope, Mummy Winchester is back on the scene and I can’t even begin to imagine what they are planning to do with this. All I am hoping for is that Mary’s influence will help Dean to accept certain parts of him that he loves to keep repressed (effeminophobia and his bisexuality being the big ones). Mary coming back will hopefully start to truly break down and destroy John Winchester’s toxic influence over his sons. I also really really want her to meet Cas and say the words “Thank you for watching over my son.” YES.

6. Sam gets some distance from Dean, some other friends, maybe a girl, and definitely a dog - I think it is safe to say that Sam isn’t dead. Probably just shot in the arm or leg or something. I want him to be taken to England by Lady T and face the Men of Letters. I hope that they will warm to Sam (and his wonderful moose charms) and that Sam will get to bond with his British companions away from Dean (because Dean always steals the side characters away and bonds with them more than Sam ever does - except for Eileen). Maybe there could even be love in the future for Sam - either by bringing back Eileen or developing a decent and believable relationship between Sam and Lady T (I don’t want her forced into the love interest role, I think she is far too good for that already, but if she becomes a regular throughout the season like Rowena is then potentially a relationship could blossom slowly between them. It could work. I have been hoping for love for Sam for some time now and I can see the potential in this).

7. Lady T is a well developed, fully rounded, likeable character and not a sexy lamp or boring love interest - I already love her. I want to know more about her, her motivations, her back story, how she became a woman of letters, I want her to be a worthy adversary to the Winchesters before becoming a trustworthy ally. I want her to continue to take none of their shit, to put them in their place and therefore earn their respect. I also really want to see her face of with Rowena. That would be awesome. England vs Scotland right there! Potentially I would accept her becoming a love interest to Sam only if it was done right. If it was done in the subtext throughout the season and is only a very very tiny part of the storyline. It would have to be major slow burn. No forced kisses like in CACW (did you guys see that? what the fuck was that?). Only then, would I accept any sort of romantic sub-plot between characters.

8. More screen time for Dean and Cas = DESTIEL - Well obviously. It wouldn’t be a proper supernatural wishlist if it didn’t have Destiel written in big letters somewhere now would it? After all the build up in Season 11 in the subtext I am still convinced that this is going somewhere. The season finale has NOT destroyed my positivity at all. In fact it has only added to it. (come ask me about it if you want more info). At the end of the day, Dean and Cas are going to have to save Sam. This means spending time together trying to FIND Sam in a completely unknown city (hence my excitement over them renting a car and getting stuck on the M25 before ending up lost in somewhere like Surrey… Oh the fanfiction potential! I can practically taste it! I have faith in Dabb to bring us more destiel moments. he has always been good to us.

9. Following on from the above… HUNTER CAS - Dabb brought us the wonderful episode Hunteri Heroci which had Cas try out his hunting skills (and save the day I might add). We know Dabb loves Cas. I have every reason to believe that Cas will get more time as a Hunter. I want him in MOTW episodes. He will be soooo good in MOTW episodes please please PLEASE let this happen! (especially if the MOTW episodes are set in BRITAIN because the boys are still out there dealing with the MOL and the Grand Coven…. I see them dealing with ghosts that are 1000 years old and haunting freaking castles… it will be glorious.)

10. More funny episodes - So this scene: 

(Gif by @cassammydean)

Makes me want more witches doing ridiculous things to the boys. Give me ACTUAL MOOSE SAM WINCHESTER PLEASE! Give me the kind of silly witch stories we have been reading about in fanfics for far too long… come on show, its season 12! What have you got to loose?

11. Beach Episode - This is purely for @elizabethrobertajones. Maybe once they are done in Britain, they’ll head off to the med for a true European beach experience… They’ll be fine as long as they have Cas with them. He speaks all the languages. He can order the cocktails and ice creams. ;-)

Feel free to add onto the wishlist! I would love to know what everyone else is hoping for in the new season!!

Shut Up

Original Imagine: Imagine sex with soulless!Sam. Imagine how rough, passionate, and desperate it would be.
Author: http://amalieanomaly.tumblr.com
Reader Gender: Female
Word count: 6,737 (I’m not even sorry)
Warnings: Pretty hardcore domination, non-con, bdsm, abusive language,  actual abuse, derogatory name-calling, anal

Okay so if you’ve made it this far congrats, just 3 more things: 1. I wrote this never intending to submit it, so it’s written in a weird first person/semi omniscient voice. Sorry if that bugs you, but I’m not going through the entire thing to change all the pronouns and whatnot. 2. I jump tenses, sorry, and 3. This is my first ever. You don’t have to be kind or anything, I just thought you should know.

✦✦✦

In a way, I’d been mad at Sam for not telling his brother he was back. I knew Dean would be overjoyed, and he’d have wanted to pick up right where they’d left off—and that’s why I’m glad Sam didn’t tell him. Not just because Dean damn well deserved some time to be normal and happy, but because the Sam reading in the bed across from me sure as shit wasn’t the Sam that went into the pit. Dean had enough to worry about; I didn’t want to twist the knife. 

He was Sam, but he definitely wasn’t Sammy. He had all Sam’s memories, and I’d put him through all the routine tests, and I knew it really was him, but there was something…unsettlingly off about him. Before, he had been just the sweetest thing I’d ever met, but now? Now he was a cold, unfeeling, killing machine who had no qualms about using people as bait or sacrifices. It was like everything on the inside was different. He was the same on the outside though, that’s for sure. That cut jawline, the impressive muscles, those beautiful eyes that made your knees weak…fuck! Brain, stop!

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