this idiot i love them all

reioka replied to your post :I want to talk about StarkSpangledWinterHawk, but…

You could always talk about how each idiot hates how reckless his other three idiots are not realizing that literally all of them think this because they’re all reckless in completely different ways.

Or how disgustingly adorable they are with each other or something

Mostly I just wanna talk about Clint, Steve, Bucky, and Tony all have the thought “These fucking idiots would all die without me” and being super sincere about it

“These fucking idiots would all die without me.” Yes, each one of them has had this thought at some point. 

Bucky has always thought this way about Steve. He loves Steve, and Steve can be smart about certain things, but god is he a fucking idiot sometimes. Seriously, thank god for the serum. Not because it saved Steve from dying from any diseases, but because it stopped Steve from dying from something stupid. Like jumping out of a plane without a parachute. 

Then there is Tony. Bucky loves him, and Tony can take care of himself for the most part, but Jesus! When Tony is a mess and in need, he is fucking mess, and Bucky has to all but fight Tony for Tony to let Bucky help him. At least Tony doesn’t fight Bucky’s help as much as Tony fights Steve’s. Then again Steve constantly shoves his foot in his mouth (another reason why Steve wouldn’t survive without his boyfriends–all three of them have had to at one point smooth a conversation after Steve ruffled some feathers). 

That’s Bucky’s point of view (and I’m saving the Clint stuff for later). 

For Tony, he’s gotta make sure Steve isn’t insulting people left and right. Bucky and Clint try to help, but there’s a certain line that Steve loves to stampede over, and once that line has been destroyed, that’s where Tony comes in to save the day. Thanks to Steve and his impatience when it comes to dealing with people’s B.S. Tony’s respect and admiration for Pepper has shot up immensely. He’d always respected her for putting out his fires in the past. Now that he has to deal with Firestarter Steve, he loves her even more and is more grateful for everything she has done for him. 

As for Bucky, he’s Tony’s competition for the title of “Hot Mess.” One moment Bucky is the sauve smartass and the next he’s running to Tony with a broken blender and saying, “I swear I just tapped the button! It’s possessed!” He can cook, until the day when he can’t because, “I don’t know. Something made me thinking baking soda would be an okay substitute.” Then a day or two later Bucky can miraculous cook again. 

Also, with Bucky and Steve, Tony has to stop them from tag teaming anyone they think has insulted one of their own. Steve is almost always ready to throw down when someone insults his teammates. Bucky is a little more willing to hold back. He likes to think he is reasonable, but Tony knows better. All it takes is Steve’s offense reaching a certain point, then suddenly the two are like wolves, working together to take down a common enemy. 

Luckily, Tony usually has Clint to help him out when that happens. 

It’s an utter disaster though when Tony or Clint suddenly join the two. It’s even worse when Clint and Tony join the duo in taking down some asshole. The sting of it though? Once the four of them have teamed up, suddenly Steve becomes that reasonable one, and calms the others down. 

Truthfully, Steve thinks his boyfriends could survive without him (sometimes he doubts it when they do things like jump off buildings, blow up stuff on accident, and sleep in random places, but considering they have been doing it for years, he is willing to give them the benefit of the doubt).They’d just have shittier lives without him. As stubborn and emotional as Steve can be, he is practical. He knows Tony and Clint survived before him. He also knows that while Bucky may some days feel weak, he’s actually the strongest person Steve knows. All of his boyfriends are strong. They are all survivors. However, they also let people treat them like shit. 

Bucky used to be good about defending himself, but after Hydra, Bucky was much more willing to take people’s crap about him. Steve noticed that right away. It took him longer to realize the same was true of Tony. Tony is so quick-witted and his tongue so sharp, Steve had spent the early parts of their friendship oblvious to this personality trait. That being said, the person who had blindsided him was Clint. 

Clint had managed to blindside all of his boyfriends. He often told people to fight and stand up for themselves. He was always so supportive and encouraging that it took all of them the longest time to realize how deep some of his insecurities went, and just how many secrets he kept to himself. With his smile and his usually laidback attitude, it was easy for all of them to forget he was a SHIELD agent. Keeping secrets was a part of his job, and he was one of the best. 

So Steve knows that all of his boyfriends have issues, and that all of them are rather terrible about defending themselves, so that’s why Steve happily plays the role of guard dog. The moment anyone goes after his boyfriends or tries to impede their happiness, he is right there and fighting back.  No one will stop his boyfriends from being happy. 

So that leaves Clint. The true daredevil of the team with his jumping off stuff with no warning and only an arrow or dumpster to save him if Tony can’t fly to his rescue in time. Honestly, he used to be seen as level-headed, and then he’d do things like jump in front of a car to save a dog (admirable, but crazy). He’s almost as bad as Steve (Steve does not believe this when Bucky and Tony tell him so. Neither does Clint. He’s nowhere near Steve’s level of recklessness–how insulting!). Maybe he could be a bit more careful, but he’s good at what he does, and he’s always managed to get himself out of trouble. 

Steve, Bucky, and Tony though? They are disasters. Sure, they aren’t helpless, but they have their weaknesses. Clint is not the only one who has ended up in a dumpster.

Dumpsters aside, Steve’s always ready to fight and has zero-chill. Meanwhile, Tony and Bucky are hot messes who break things, others, and themselves. All three of them are terrible when it comes to sleep. Steve and Bucky have moments in which their inner frat boy selves come out (and maybe sometimes Clint has these moments too, but they are all Bucky’s fault!), and Tony needs to stop earning doctorates just to spite and one up other geniuses. 

Clint is always calming his boyfriends down. Sometimes he tags along on the chaos, but he figures as long as he’s there, he can speak up and act as the voice of reason when things get too far, and it’s worked for a while now. He gives support and encouragement where it is needed, and he honestly has no idea how his boyfriends would be alive at the moment if he weren’t around to say: “Do we really need that much C-4? Also, are we sure Steve/Bucky can punch through a wall this thick?” 

anonymous asked:

now all i need is a shot of the cummerbund hanging next to the life calendar over their bed :’)

OH MY GOD,,,,,,,,,,,,,THEY’D DEFINITELY HANG IT THERE AND THEY WOULD BOTH SMILE LIKE IDIOTS EVERY TIME THEY SEE IT SO LIKE BASICALLY ALL THE TIME AND ASHDGFDSGAFKJSDGA I LOVE THEM SO MUCH IM CRYING

Besides the vast potential for hilarious shenanigans with the Reaper Trio (do we have a name for them yet, I know someone can come up with something better than that), I also just really like the thought of these guys as a family.

They’re home late from a mission so they all shuffle off to Taako’s place (where Kravitz maybe also lives?? or does eventually??) and Taako complains at length about how late it is but there’s a freshly-cooked meal waiting for them so they all know Taako’s been sitting next to his stone all night.

They try to tell stories about the mission but they’re all speaking over each other to make themselves sound the coolest - at least, Lup and Kravitz are. Barry isn’t nearly as worried about his perceived coolness; he’s been lovingly referred to as “nerd” for far too long now. If Taako (or whoever else is listening) wants to know the real story, he’ll just ask Barry later. Barry is brutally honest.

If there’s a uniform, Lup and Taako customize the trio’s. If there’s not, they come up with coordinating outfits. Kravitz insists he’s not wearing that. Lup insists that he is. In a truly underhanded move, Taako asks Kravitz if he doesn’t like the outfit that Taako personally made for him. There is only one right answer. (Lup made sure Barry’s included his bluejeans and gets a kiss on the cheek.) (The Raven Queen loves the outfits and soon everyone has them, including everyone in the office.)

Lup and Barry start acting sickeningly sweet with mounds of pda edging into what should not be pda right in front of Kravitz, so Kravitz starts talking loudly about what he and Taako did last night. The questionable pda screeches to a halt. Lup and Barry do not look at him or each other for the rest of the mission. Kravitz worries that Taako will be mad, but when Kravitz tells him, Taako starts howling with laughter.

Barry gets separated from the group during a mission and Lup is trying to act like she’s not worried, but Kravitz knows better by now. He holds Lup’s hand because he knows that’s a comfort thing with her and Taako.

They’ve all been away too long and they know Taako worries no matter what he says, so they call him and it’s just a mess of all of them trying to talk at the same time and Taako can’t make sense of anything they’re trying to say.

Kravitz keeps trying to use the accent. Lup and Barry also come up with accents to use. Kravitz stops using the accent but it takes the other two another full week to stop.

Barry loves the twins in different ways, but it’s nice to have someone else around who doesn’t spread chaos on a near-constant basis. Kravitz is a good choice for company during quiet moments, and sometimes when it’s just the two of them they don’t say anything at all. It’s a comfortable silence.

Barry and Kravitz are Not Allowed in the kitchen after nearly burning it down while trying to cook their significant others a nice dinner. The intentions were sweet. The resulting property damage was not.

Dadvid Goes Back To School

-Max could get through school with half a pencil but that doesn’t stop David from buying 3 of every piece of school supplies.


-David tries to get Max a bunch of new clothes but they end up leaving with just another hoodie.


-Max starts giving away the extra pencils to kids that won’t stop asking to borrow them.


-He only wears the hoodie David bought him, on test days. He claims it’s a coincidence.


-David signs up for the PTA.


-David dedicates a whole chunk of wall to Max’s good marks. He’s shows it off every time people come over.


-Max’s marks start to improve now that he’s getting recognition for them. His teachers thinks he’s cheating. Max has never seen David that mad before.


-Max gets packed lunches with post it notes, reminding him of tests and hoping he’s having a good day. He slowly stops throwing them out.


-David becoming familar with all the people in the office because he finds himself there regularly. They all love him. He brings them cookies every holiday season.


-Max finding himself asking for David’s help with homework more frequently. He may be an idiot but he’s good at long division.


-David secretly re-learning Max’s age group’s curriculum so that he can help with homework.


-Max’s report card comes in with all A’s and they go out for ice cream.


-Max having a parent be proud of him, encouraging him. David getting to see Max apply the potential he saw from the start.

2

Sense8 | You Want a War?

Have you ever been to Paris? Good! Because I want it to be just for us.

one of the things i love about learning a language is how it really makes you question the original intention of your words. i remember ages ago looking up “i’ll still love you” in french to double check and it turns out it’s"je t'aimerai encore" if the love has decreased and might not last,  but “je t'aimerai toujours” if you mean you’ll love them forever. and i was just staring at my wall because i genuinely didn’t know which i meant and it all got very emotional. all because french makes a distinction that english doesn’t. 

Even can’t do laundry normally and Isak can’t make tea for shit. They’re both messy boys that have The Chair™ where all their clothes are thrown on. They have a wide screen TV to play FIFA on and Isak has an IPhone 7 but both don’t have a kettle and I bet some other basic stuff. They don’t make their bed. They put memes on their walls. They buy a pack of 10 white T-shirts and just both wear them always. Isak doesn’t find his pants? He wears Even’s, which are far too long for him. They aren’t organized at all and can’t remember where they put their stuff. When the other forgets to do something, the other doesn’t yell and just basically says well okayyy whatever while smiling fondly. They both grin like idiots when the other calls as if their crush called to invite them to a movie date. They both say I love you before they end the call. They both don’t know what a goodbye peck is. Only what a slow passionate parting kiss is. The boys are in love and living together. They are a realistic happy healthy couple and no I’m not crying.

Who’s Got The Smarts

Viktor Nikiforov has lived his international life getting ferried places by Yakov, exploring with world-savvy Christophe Giacometti, and being led around on the arm of rich sponsors who wanted to take him out for a night.

Yuuri, on the other hand, has spent several years in Detroit– not quite the crime capital of the USA, but close.

This shows when the Katsuki-Nikiforovs start taking more vacations.

In Rio de Janeiro. “Why can’t we just take a shortcut?” Viktor asks, peering down a narrow and dark alley. “We’d make it back to the hotel faster.”

“Vitya, no,” says Yuuri. 

In Chicago. “Yuuri, that was such a nice man, and his dog was the best dog, besides Makkachin.”

“Good dog,” Yuuri says, grabbing Viktor by the lapels to pull him in for a kiss, and to tap his cheek with Viktor’s leather wallet. “Terrible pickpocket. Don’t worry, I got it back for you.”

It even shows when they’re traveling close to home.

“This is my favorite restaurant in Sochi!” Viktor chirps. “Their shades are closed, so paparazzi can’t see in. They’re all fans, and always ask me about skating, but they never bother me for pictures with them! So discreet! It’s like my own little escape, so I wanted to share it with you. Do you like it?”

“It’s wonderful,” says Yuuri through gritted teeth. He grips Viktor’s hand tightly throughout the entire experience, and every time Viktor pitifully tries to ask, “how is the borchst?” Yuuri just smiles grimly at him and scoots closer.

“Darling,” Viktor pouts once they’re back in their hotel room, “I’ve told you that if you’re anxious we can always leave, but you never gave me the signal we agreed on–”

“Vitya,” Yuuri says, and sits him down. “Vitya, that restaurant is very clearly a cover for the Russian mafia.”

“Oh,” says Viktor. “Um.”

“I’ve always thought it was a miracle that you were alive,” Yuuri sighs and snuggles down into his husband’s lap. “Now I’m realizing just how much of a miracle it is.”

In London. They go out for a pub trivia night with Yakov and Yurio. Their team– carried completely by the living legend– destroys the rest, even though Viktor is tipsy and has been chattering with both the French family at the neighboring table and two Germans at the bar in their native tongue. Facts? Viktor knows them all: 18th century literature. Obscure historical references. Chemical compositions. The exact words Beyonce tweeted 3 months ago.

“What the hell,” says Yurio. “This idiot introduced himself to me five times when I first came to the rink. He can’t remember what he ate for lunch. What. The hell.” 

“I think I love him,” Yuuri blurts. They have been married for two years, and his husband is showing the Germans his belly-button. “We have to protect him.” Yakov just smirks.

“He’s all yours, son.”

anonymous asked:

I was watching my brother play xbox when I realized... professional sports teams have video games. With avatars that look just like the players and have their stats. Sooo professional exy teams could have a video games.. and when Neil and Andrew went pro they would see their little video game selves

okay so listen:

  • andrew never pays attention to literally anything going on with his exy career
  • like seriously? he goes where they tell him and does what he’s contractually obligated to do 
  • so when he had to wear a weird suit and pretend to block a bunch of fake shots he thought it was probably some weird form of monitoring his health or muscles
  • of course he doesn’t tell neil about it in their nightly skype calls becuase it’s unimportant in his mind
  • unknown to andrew, neil also did the same thing but doesn’t much care for video games so he also says nothing
  • basically a literal day after it’s happened they’ve both forgotten about it 
  • but then the game comes out 
  • and everyone starts tweeting them about it
  • and making funny vines with 6-foot whatever kevin day being checked by 5′0″” andrew minyard
  • (it’s probably some thing where you can just like assign the players any position for fun idk)
  • neil picks up on it an favorites a bunch of videos on twitter
  • (poor boy didn’t know other people could see his likes)
  • and of course matt calls neil the day it comes out
    • “neil! you didn’t tell me we’d both be in a video game together?!? how sick is that! you totally have to come over and play, bro”
  • basically neil loves it because he gets to play as andrew and ends up mimicking him as he does it 
    • “my names andrew and i squish garbage in the can until it’s too full and i refuse to take it out”
    • “hey guys, watch out! i have the ball and i’m not afraid to beam it at your ankles if you look at me the wrong way!”
    • “i’m andrew and i pretend to hate the cats but wheni think neil’s not looking i make kissy noises at them and hold them in my arms”
    • “neil’s bothering me so i’m going to pretend he’s a vegetable and pretend he doesn’t exist”
  • of course andrew catches him doing it one time when neil thought he was home alone and was playing online with matt
  • (he was home alone but had jumped into a monologue as andrew and was too distracted to hear him walk in for his weekend visit)
  • of course andrew decides to get him back by doing the same thing as neil
    • “my name is neil and i’m an idiot who has no self preservation”
    • “watch out kevin, i’m here to steal your one true love away, the court”
    • “did you guys know that i leave my socks all over the apartment becuase that’s where they belong?”
  • it definitely turns into a way for them to get out their petty aggression on one another
  • and if one of the foxes just happens to post multiple videos of it online and create a small phenomena, then that’s between them and the thousands of views
2

“There is no such thing as a free wish”
⇨ Happy birthday to my precious Patri (❁´‿`❁)*✲゚*

Homestuck Beach Headcanons

John: hot sand hot sand hot sand *makes it to the water* cold water cold water cold water (this goes on for like an hour before he settles finally). Brought one of those fake shark fins and straps it to the top of his head. He fools no one. Brought approximately 53 kites and loses All of them because Dave said “hey I bet your kites can’t hold up against your windy thing”. He was right. Tells Karkat that the ocean speaks to ppl through conch shells, he holds one up to his ear, nods, “sorry Karkat, the ocean says you’re an idiot”. Karkat is horrified and John is dying trying to keep a straight face.

Dave: has a SBAHJ swimsuit and a SBAHJ surfboard. Challenges Jade to a surf-off. “Are you sure, Dave? I’ve had a lot of practice and it’s not as easy as it looks! I’ve got it, Dave reassures her. How difficult can it be. She warned u, bro. She warned u about the surf. He does not get back in the water. Fills a bucket with crabs of various shapes and sizes throughout the day, at the end he calls Karkat over to where he’s standing by the waters edge. Hey. Hey Karkat. Look what I found. He pours the crabs out at Karkat’s feet. Karkat looks unsettled. Dave. Where did you even find all these crabs Dave. They’re your children Karkat. I did this for you.

Jade: spends the whole day in the water and also she is a surf goddess did I mention that? Doesn’t put any sunscreen in and everyone is concerned but she barely even tans. After getting out of the water she does the Wet Doggo Shake™ Jade can u pls just warn us before u do that pls you’re getting us all soaking wet. Smells suspiciously like wet dog but everyone is too polite to point it out. Helps Dave collect his crabs bc she has an uncanny knack for finding them (she’s sniffing them out with her doggy nose but doesn’t tell Dave bc she wants to show off).

Rose: builds sand castles with Kanaya bc Kanaya is deadass terrified of the ocean. They surpass sandcastle tbh it’s more like a sand palace. Rose found a bunch of nice purpley shells to decorate with and also some rocks that look suspiciously arcane and vaguely powerful. High tide somehow wipes out the group’s chairs but doesn’t touch the sandcastle. Hm. Chastises Dave for building dicks out of the sand. Is there something you’d like to tell us, Dave? *Dave sweating* what’s a penis I don’t even know anyone named Karkat. Rose smiles innocently. Of course not. Throughout the day, Rose brings water for Kanaya to drink and also to dump on her so she can regulate her body temperature. Since she’s a cold-blood her body temp is lower so she overheats v easily.

Kanaya: is deadass terrified of the ocean. Does the detail work on the castle she and Rose are making, carves out little stairs and turrets and makes flags out of spare ribbon she keeps in her bag. It’s beautiful. She cries at the end of the day when they have to leave it even though they’ve taken lots of pictures. . Karkat comes up to her with a conch shell and holds it out to Kanaya, “john told me the ocean said I was an idiot Kanaya what is it saying I can’t hear anything” She takes the conch shell and listens. Mmhm. Yes. Oh My. “What did it say???” It Was Really Quite Rude, I Shouldn’t Repeat It. Karkat is about to cry. Kanaya and Rose secretly fist bump.

Karkat: oh boy this has really been A Day for him. He’s nervous around the ocean already but apparently it thinks he’s an idiot??? He loves the crabs they remind him of his lusus, it was slightly horrifying that Dave put a bunch of them in a bucket for obvious reasons. Wants to be buried in the sand, Jake helps him dig a big hole and he and Dave and Dirk all work together to make it big enough and fill it in afterwards. Dave writes “im gay” underneath Karkat’s head poking out and Karkat yells at him for taking pictures. Sollux falls asleep on his towel and Karkat writes “beefucker” on his forehead.

Terezi: before they got there everyone told Terezi not to lick the sand. Guess what she did. Also, accidentally popped the beach ball with her teeth because she was licking it. There’s a theme here can u find it. Is in the water a lot because Vriska is desperately trying to regulate her body temperature and has v little energy to say mean things which everyone is grateful for. To make her feel better, Terezi engages in wildly uncreative insults that Vriska can easily latch onto without having to put much energy in. “Hey Terezi is the water cold?” I don’t know john, is your FACE cold? “Terezi that doesn’t even make any sense”, your face doesn’t make any sense! She cackles as if this is some High Brow Humor every single time.

Jake: has an irrational fear of seagulls, they keep coming for his food and that makes him nervous because the monsters on his island were one thing but this? This sly and wily creature? Dirk is like,,,buddy,,,it’s just a seagull? It’s just a bird? “They’re eating my fries, Dirk, I won’t stand for it!” Jake has a little ukulele that he knows like five songs on, he sits outside by the boardwalk and just strums it sometimes after dark. One night, two little kids come by and give him 6 dollars in crumpled singles for his playing and he started crying he was so touched.

Jane: is having the TIME of her life, and is also the Mom friend. She’s simultaneously kicking ass at beach volleyball and reminding everyone to put on their sunscreen and reapply every two hours please! She’s also having a good time experimenting with cooking seafood some nights, though once she made the mistake of bringing in crab and Karkat did Not take it well. It took an hour to calm him down. Jane felt awful and made it up to him by buying him a nice hoodie w a happy crab on it. Bought a cute little blue boogie board and hangs out with Jade and Roxy in the water, she’s not very good at it but she likes swimming around a little.

Dirk: he’s that one friend that goes way too hard in casual games tbh. Like, they’re just playing a friendly game of volleyball Dirk can you please stop spiking it every five seconds. The grind never stops, Roxy, don’t hate the player hate the grind. Jane looked at him w so much disappointment in her eyes after he said it that he felt the force of her stare physically and had to take a step back. Tries to show Jake that seagulls aren’t scary by feeding them, but they start attacking him for his fries which does not help prove his point at all.

Roxy: “the babe” Lalonde has been ready for a beach trip her entire life. She is checking out the lifeguards, she’s checking out the other gals and dudes strolling about the beach, she’s got her best friends with her, what more could she want??? She buys a cutesy pink surfboard and Dave makes fun of her for it and she smiles sweetly. Oh sorry Dave? I forgot you were so good at surfing?? No one knows how or when Roxy learned to hang ten but THERE SHE GOES. She finds a lot of pretty shells and rocks and sand dollars and is just enthusiastic about everything tbh. She brightens everyone’s mood always.

Calliope: cherubs can’t float so Roxy’s overprotective ass won’t let her near the water unless someone is with her and making sure she’s safe. This is Fine with calliope bc that means that she’s never alone and therefore she’s never lonely and really that’s all she’s ever wanted so!! She’s v content to watch Jade and Roxy surf, she will sit w Jane sometimes when she isn’t in the water. She also likes digging for sand crabs with Karkat bc she likes their little legs. She wants to dig deep enough to find a lobster and no one has the heart to tell her that’s not how it works.

Sollux: this idiot. This boy. My sweet sweet son. Makes the horrible mistake of falling asleep on his towel. He was underneath the big umbrella when he started, but as the sun moves and he’s not putting on more sunscreen?? John, Dave, and Karkat take it upon themselves to not only write “beefucker” on his forehead, but also draw dicks on his whole body in sunscreen so he burns (trolls turn a darker shade of their blood color) and ends up with these pale gray dicks surrounded by a horrible dark, mustardy burn.

✰ * º ❛ even more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep.  ’
‘  omg here goes your lil crybaby ass.  ’
‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up.  ’
‘  don’t start buddy. don’t you dare.  ’
‘  gay rights? true, as a gay, i am always right.  ’
‘  not to vent, but: fuck.  ’
‘  the worst pain is to make small talk with someone you once told everything to.  ’
‘  i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot.  ’
‘  sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful.  ’
‘  i want to kiss you in a way that makes you not want to kiss anyone else ever again.  ’
‘  shout out to the people who are still friends with me even though i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed.  ’
‘  i’m a big fan of anything that will help me chill the fuck out.  ’
‘  i don’t go through people’s pictures on their phone cause i wasn’t raised in the jungle.  ’
‘  i think we, as a people, just need to have a glass of water.  ’
‘  i don’t have enough black clothes.  ’
‘  sweetie, i could sleep for ten years and i’d still be tired.  ’
‘  i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me.  ’
‘  me??? tired??? sleepy??? yes, constantly.  ’
‘  i’m pb&j – petty, bitter, and jealous.  ’
‘  the fact that sloths aren’t extinct somehow proves that if you go at your own pace and mind your own fucking business you too can succeed.  ’
‘  i wish i could be the person i want to be, but i’m too tired.  ’
‘  i always look sleep deprived. is that hot?  ’
‘  just because there’s always room for improvement doesn’t mean you’ll never be good enough.  ’
‘  my heart is a soft and sensitive mess.  ’
‘  all i want is a big garden and no responsibilities.  ’
‘  honestly someone not liking beyonce is a deal breaker and not for any political reasons, but just like you’re probably, definitely really boring.  ’
‘  hey guys, i’m a huge fan of genuine love and affection.  ’
‘  now i’m falling asleep and she’s calling a crab and he’s having a smoke and she’s kissing the crab.  ’
‘  i’ve been ever since i heard ‘lonely’ by akon at 9 years-old.  ’
‘  my new years resolution is to stop.  ’
‘  i’m irritated cause i’m not lovable in a romantic soulmate way.  ’
‘  i hate knowing that people that ruined parts of me still live and function like nothing ever happened.  ’
‘  i know i’m cute, but you can remind me.  ’
‘  hey, just wondering, but are you fucking kidding me????  ’
‘  i can’t wait to be in love with someone who is also deepfuck in love with me and we love each other forever n’ ever.  ’
‘  me? clingy? yes. please don’t leave me.  ’
‘  girlfriend application compatibility question: do you keep your depression pile on the bed or on the floor?  ’
‘  anything heart shaped is automatically 200% better. this is a fact.  ’
‘  today’s agenda: screaming into the abyss.  ’
‘  going from ‘today is a good day’ to ‘i hate my life’ takes me approximately 2.6 seconds.  ’
‘  everyone needs to wash their face and go to bed.  ’
‘  i’m worth so much more than the ways i’ve been treated.  ’
‘  hey, can i claim you guys as dependents on my taxes?  ’
‘  i really just ignore phone calls. like leave a message. i don’t check those either but like  ’
‘  i honestly just want to pack my bags and go travel the world and see and explore everything possible.  ’
‘  remember being little and thinking dandelions were fun or a pretty color or something and every adult in an 80 mile radius wouldn’t let you say that without screaming IT’S A WEED.  ’
‘  why did we just accept catdog?  ’
‘  my ‘stay in bed all day’ game’s too strong.  ’
‘  you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.  ’
‘  i always forget that i literally don’t owe anyone anything!  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on.  ’
‘  honestly… us girls? us women? we always out here, knowin.  ’
‘  would an alien think i’m pretty?  ’
‘  i love boys, but only as a concept.  ’
‘  why do parents get mad when you sleep in all day? like i’m staying out of trouble and i’m not spending your money like what’s the issue here????  ’
‘  i identify as an inconvenience to the world.  ’
‘  i seriously regret telling anyone, anything, ever lmao  ’
‘  dating me is like dating a five year-old. i need all of your attention and i’m cranky if i haven’t had a nap.  ’
‘  i’m literally tired of myself.  ’
‘  don’t introduce me to ur parents unless you plan on marrying me because they’re going to love me and ask about me for the rest of your life lol  ’
‘  what the hell is a straight person? only straight thing i know about is the edge of my beloved sword.  ’
‘  i highly recommend never having feelings.  ’
‘  self care is going into a cornfield at night to get abducted by aliens.  ’
‘  staying up late with another human is such a weird thing like you get this special bond and a what-is-this feeling  ’
‘  do u ever feel like ur not even friends with ur friends?  ’
‘  um no offense but whom’st’ve going to loveth me?  ’
‘  date a girl who fucks everything up.  ’
‘  not all who mcfreakin wander are mcfreakin lost.  ’
‘  i may legally be an adult but don’t be fooled. i have no idea what i’m doing.  ’
‘  a fun and interesting fact about me is that i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  you can start again anytime!  ’
‘  all you can do is learn your lesson. there’s no point in wishing you had did differently. the past is the past.  ’
‘  i can’t believe an angel like me has to suffer so much.  ’
‘  you’re all so obsessed with love and being loved. what about just going to sleep?  ’
‘  i’m smart, but i do dumb shit anyway.  ’
‘  tbh i never deal with my emotions. i just let them ravage my body and then go to bed and then i wake up and do it all over again.  ’
‘  first of all: i don’t know shit, so jot that down.  ’
‘  i’ll just ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ my way through life.  ’
‘  i’m tired of things costing money.  ’
‘  don’t you hate it when you’re dead inside and run out of apps to refresh?  ’
‘  who cares? do better, move on.  ’
‘  i don’t need a significant other. just a significant income.  ’
‘  appreciation for everyone who’s ever talked to me bc i’m annoying and dumb.  ’
‘  thnks fr th mntl llnss.  ’
‘  what  hasn’t killed me has just made me overly sensitive and defensive.  ’
‘  i don’t know shit ya’ll!!!!! i’m just out here.  ’
‘  binge-watching is great until you run out of the show and have to start watching it weekly like some sort of medieval peasant.  ’
‘  i’m in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell.  ’
‘  this might come as a shock but I’m Not Feelin too good my dudes.  ’
‘  i’m alive, but only ironically.  ’
‘  there she goes again being over dramatic and by she, i mean me.  ’
‘  do you ever feel like have tried Too Hard to a friend and now you have become That Obnoxious Weirdo?  ’
‘  lgbt: lasagna! garfield’s beloved treat.  ’
‘  my favorite phrase in the english language is ‘i shit you not.’  ’
‘  i’m a real boring bitch! a snoozer!  ’
‘  i honestly look so good lounging in an oversized t-shirt and no pants. when will someone experience the blessing of domestic living w/ me?  ’
‘  you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly.  ’
‘  you son of a mumford!  ’
‘  hi, i’m here to ruin everything.  ’
‘  you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands. for example, if it’s a skeleton hand then they’re dead.  ’
‘  the year is 2020 and i am found guilty of treason against the united states for vague blogging that i hate someone and donald trump thought it was about him.  ’
‘  everybody calm down, we’re going to be fine! :))) we’ve weathered worse than this! :) :) :) :) really all this panic just seems like a huge overreaction imho   ’
‘  no beta readers. we publish our crap writing like men.  ’
‘  i need $$$$$ not feelings.  ’
‘  ‘idk imma see’ = i ain’t coming, never was coming, never considered it, never gave it a single thought, only remembered cause you asked again.  ’
‘  oops, i don’t care lol  ’
‘  why girls always crop the halo out of their selfies? stop being so modest. we know the truth.  ’
‘  maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,  ’
‘  i always get told i look like a bitch bc i’m always glaring while i walk, but i’m not glaring, i’m squinting. i have sensitive eyes. they’re watering.  ’
‘  concept: it’s 3 am. candle lit room. a record is spinning. you’re kissing me. we have no worries in the world. we’re warm and content.  ’
‘  i need to go into the forest and scream for an hour and a half.  ’
‘  pls kill all men who yell at girls from cars.  ’
‘  life really isn’t what i expected it to be. less quicksand. almost no quicksand to be honest. lots of metaphorical quicksand tho.  ’
‘  i have a question for u: like are u done… like is it over?  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive.  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive. for me, it’s myself.  ’
‘  whenever i see police i always try not to act suspicious and fail internally even though i never did anything wrong.  ’
‘  new years resolution: less bitter, more glitter.  ’

Signs in school

Aries: Either damn loud and obnoxious in class or quiet and hard-working. They are usually always impatient and snap in class when people annoy them. They don’t mind helping people but they do get annoyed when people ask too many questions.

Taurus: Their favourite lesson is lunch time. Enough said. They do alright in school. They’re usually patient, quiet and hard-working. They’re not necessarily popular, however they don’t mind speaking in class. The teachers usually like them.

Gemini: Whether they’re shy or the most confident in the damn school, they usually say what they think and talk in class. They doodle when they’re bored and get in trouble for stupid things like forgetting homework or talking over the teacher. When it comes down to it they can do well.

Cancer: Either the sweetest souls or the meanest bitches. The former likes to help people and wouldn’t dream of being mean. They’re shy and adorable, and very smart, but also get angry at the smallest things. The latter, however, gossip all the time, laugh at people and make them feel bad. They talk about people’s friends infront of their faces. They’re horrible and have no true friends.

Leo: They’re fun, outgoing, lovely, smart and popular, or they’re smart and COMPLETE IDIOTS. I love Leos but boi. They have great hair and clear faces, but you either love them to pieces or hate them. They don’t mind speaking in class and are usually quite confident in themselves.

Virgo: Usually smart and quiet. They’re the sort of students the teachers love and they help out after school alot. Extremely smart and almost always gets 100% without even revising. They’re friends can sometimes be jealous of that. However they’re very critical and accidentally put others down. But altogether, they’re good students.

Libra: Usually popular, and have their pedicures and manicures done, their hair on fleek and usually look great. Or, they don’t give a crap and only brush their hair in the mornings and wear the first outfits they see. They go on their phone in class and pout when concentrating. They’re not stupid and quite smart but act it to get their way. They bat their eyelashes too.

Scorpio: Normally very quiet and give of a “speak to me and I’ll murder you” vibe. Actually just loves memes and that’s what they’re looking at when their head is resting on the desks. The teachers don’t care because they generally do well and don’t distrupt the lesson. And they’re scared of them. Alternatively, they’re outgoing and social and very popular.

Sagittarius: Fierce and give of a don’t give a f*ck attitude whether they’re loud or shy. They love adventures so their favourite lessons are pe and geography. They also are f*cking hilarious and joke alot. Have the ability to do well but the teachers don’t have faith. They generally care about having fun and a good time.

Capricorn: Are a model student. Have alot of enemies, but they literally are only about success. They’re not interested in a relationship at the moment. They have friends and they do amazing in class, but they are also quite serious and don’t go out with said friends very often. Or they can be stupid and slaggy and no one respects them lol

Aquarius: Definietly thinkers. They’re the ones that excel in English because they’re deeply intellectual and think outside the box. Have alot of friends but seem to argue with them due to the friends being impatient with the Aquarians bullcrap conspiracies. They are funny though. They’re not popular nor unpopular, they just float in the middle.

Pisces: Pisceans sleep in class alot and don’t care too much about school. They enjoy creative writing and arts and excel in these subjects. They struggle with maths and science because they would rather dream of their future and create intimate thoughts surrounding this. They have an average sized friendship group and are either really good in class or really don’t care.

Bruise [ III ]

Genre [Rating] : Angst [M]

Length: 9.1k

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader

Summary: He wasn’t yours, and you weren’t his, but that couldn’t stop your heart from believing otherwise.

Bruise Masterlist

Originally posted by porkdo-bi

The white cream swirled about in the dark coffee in front of you, your fingers clasped around the warm, pastel orange mug as the steam floated up in hazy waves. There were signs of life all around you, couples sharing intimate lunches and students laughing away their course work. The street outside the window in front of you was busy, bustling with people and lined with fall kissed trees, branches adorned in warm tones, rustling when a breeze blew. Despite the heat of life all around you, you felt cold, like your bones were made of ice, like your heart was encased in snow. The book across the table was pushed aside as Minseok sat back down, coffee in hand and round golden glasses perched on his nose as he exhaled heavily, ready to listen.

“Do you want to start or should I?”

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