this i really heart wrenching ;;

The violin scene at the end of The Final Problem is truly one of the most impactful moments (if not the most) in all of BBC Sherlock. I honestly am still speechless that Moftiss wrote something so profound. Eurus was beyond communication with the outside world after the events of this episode, back to the untouchable genius in her glass cage. But Sherlock. Sherlock, this incredible and kind man, who had lost so much to this woman, understood her and still reached out to help. He wasn’t encouraging her to play her own song, he was initiating a duet–so she wasn’t alone, even in her music. It was a conversation, it was understanding, it was connection. This man went beyond words, where others had failed and stopped trying, and showed her that she wasn’t alone. Sherlock has become- or perhaps he always was- one of the best men I’ve ever seen.

2

appreciation post for that time when wrench could have used girls but decided for the gender of our choice instead

the bitter taste.

Originally posted by berezneva-tw

pairing: derek hale x reader

warnings: swearing, character death, angst. 

AN: i just needed to write something and cry, lol. just a small drabble-like piece which hasn’t been edited and might get deleted eventually. 

a bitter taste rose in your mouth as you turned your head away from jennifer and derek. the sight of her clutching onto him like her life depended on it and the smitten smile on your friends face was enough to make bile threaten to rise in your throat.

Keep reading

I need your help

READ THE DETAILED POST HERE :) 

Hi everyone! (I’m actually really nervous about this.. but.. here goes nothing..)

I am in need of your help. I’m gonna explain why. One of the reasons is actually very sensitive as I would be risking my family and my own safety if I did so say the sensitive reason why I’m asking for your help. Well, I have a few reasons why I’m doing this. I would be fine with sharing it to any of you if you want to know, just message me. I hope that you’ll read til the end. Please bear with me as this might be a long post. But I’ll try to summarize everything as much as I can. I might not share all the details because as I’ve said, it’s really risky and complicated. 

But I can’t take it anymore, I can’t just keep my mouth shut and let life drag me down as the days go by. It’s really heart-wrenching for me everytime I think about my situation, my family’s situation. This mess we’re in is even tearing our family part bit by bit. My mom and I aren’t in good terms because of this. This “mess” is the root of all the disaster that’s happening in my family right now. Ok, so I’m gonna tell you why I’m asking for your help. I have some plans to help my mom because we’re struggling financially, and by struggling, I mean that we’re really having a hard time financially. It’s actually the reason why I think she’s depressed. I noticed how she’s been irritable and sensitive lately, she’s also a lot more aggressive. I honestly don’t know where it started but I have a feeling that it’s due to our endless problems. 

Then, we had an argument. I talked back because I didn’t like the things she said. Take note : I know she didn’t mean any of the words she said, she was just able to tell us such horrible things because she’s stressed. I know because I’m completely aware of what my family is facing. She said things like how me and my siblings are such nuisances in her life, that we’re such a huge “responsibility”, that she wants to leave us, she threatened to poison us so we’d just die. I have two younger siblings and yes, I’m the eldest. My brother’s 12 while my little sister’s 10. So yeah, I know it sounds crazy and complicated, much like straight from a drama film. I cried, of course, I mean, who wouldn’t? I wasn’t able to contain my anger because I was truly hurt by the things she said, that’s why I was able to talk back. I know it’s wrong, very very wrong, but I’ve apologized. I can’t say that she accepted my apology because now she’s being cold to us. Specially to me. She acts as if I’m invisible. She doesn’t call me by my name, refers to me as ‘it/her’ when she talks about me with my younger siblings. I’m doing all the work at home, woke up very early to cook breakfast because she won’t do it. Me and my brother were even late because like I said, I had to do all the work by myself. It’s really taking a toll on me. And the fact that she’s really mad at me hurts me more.

Just this morning, I almost cried when a friend of mine smiled at me. Yes, it is that hard for me. To see someone smile at me, it’s as if someone lessened my pain somehow. I’m feeling really hopeless that’s why I decided to write this, to you. I am in desperate need of your help. Any amount will be very much appreciated. I will use the money to buy a new laptop for my blog because the laptop I’m currently using is broken, it’s actually a gift and it’s kinda old but It’s about to reach its limit. It might just suddenly break again and I don’t have enough money to have it repaired, (I have created a new blog) and a camera (a cheap or second hand mini dslr camera will do.) I’ve signed up to a blog advertising company and once I earn enough money from blogging or any other online job I could find, I want to make a business to help my mom out. Please, I’m not sharing these details with you to act meek so that you would give me money. I can’t ask help from my friends either because they’re all connected to that one “person” who wants to harm us. My boyfriend is trying his best to help me at the meantime but I don’t want to ask any more help from him like money because my mom doesn’t want to accept it. I’m sharing these details with you to let you know why I need your help. :( But all of our problems have one root, and I can’t tell you that root (unless you message me about it, I’d be okay with sharing it with you) because once I expose it, it’s like I’m calling out to the person who wants to .. I’m sorry, I really can’t say it. I actually thought of making a video about this, to explain everything elaborately (verbally) but I can’t either. Because I really cannot expose myself.  My mom doesn’t know I’m asking for your help, and I don’t have any plans of telling her yet.

If you’d like to send any amount of money, please message me via Twitter or here (on Tumblr) for the Paypal link. I can’t share it on here as well because it contains our location. It’s just really risky. We can’t ask help from anyone in my country because 1.) It could make our problem 10x more complicated and worse. 2.) We are all terrified to death if anyone finds us. 

I will be very grateful to any amount that you’re willing to give. And if it won’t be a bother, could you please reblog this? Thank you so much! <3

When things get better in the future, I will make video about this ^-^

Thank you so much and god bless you. <3

anonymous asked:

I came to ask for hartwin fic recs and saw your ask box caption and now I'm laughing while typing coz I finally decided to descend into hartwin hell after sitting in sidelines for years and appreciating artworks, so this will be my first time reading hartwin fics, and your dressing room #1 is free, yea, what are the absolute must read hartwin fics? (fandom classic or not, doesn't matter) Thanks in advance :)

Dressing Room #1 is always free, oh yeaaaah. ;)

And welcome to the wonderful world of Hartwin fanfic! You are in for a treat. I went on a massive Hartwin binge when I first got into fandom and literally failed to bookmark anything I read, so sadly my list will be fairly small.

First, I am going to start by suggesting you read anything and everything by: AnnaofAza, futuredescending, fideliant, and missbecky. I can’t even choose my favourites among them–all are beautifully told renditions and views of Hartwin, ranging from the downright angsty to bittersweet to fluff-filled toe-curling happiness we all want for them. Close your eyes, pick a fic from these four and I promise you will be happy with your choice :)

I don’t know about fandom classics: I know there are a few that have become quite popular but sadly I haven’t read them (mostly because of time–some of those guys are massive) so I can’t vouch for them but their popularity gives them credence :) 

Here are a few of my current faves:

Pin-Up by moonflowers

Rated M. Harry falls in love with a pin-up model from one of those cheesy calendars. He ends up meeting said model and promptly loses the ability to function like a normal human being. Hilarious, sweet and a wonderful slow build that had me giggling and squirming in my seat.

Follow Me Out, Across The Stars by sassafrasx

Rated M. Eggsy has some serious hero worship for astronaut/explorer Harry Hart. This all comes to a head when Eggsy is picked to join Kingsman in their next mission. Copious amounts of flirting, getting caught masturbating and mutual pining galore. Excellent pacing and humour and SPACE!!

Buy Me Something Pretty by Regency

Rated T. Sugar Daddy Harry and Sugar Baby Eggsy but with a twist. I love their dynamic in this, how they approach it as a business opportunity and how they catch feelings in the aftermath. An interesting dynamic and Roxy and Eggsy’s friendship in this is great.

cannon fodder by ViolyntFemme

Rated E. What if Eggsy was sent to Kentucky instead of Harry? What if it was Harry left behind, thinking Eggsy was dead, ruminating with grief and regret on their last fight? An excellent retelling of canon events that sheds light on Harry’s vulnerability, employs excellent use of side characters and traitorous agents, and Harry and Merlin’s dialogue is superb.

Broken Crown by Damned_Writers

Rated M (warning for depictions of war and PTSD). I haven’t yet finished it (it is so dense and really heart wrenching so I am still taking my time with it) but literally one of my favourite fics I have read in a long time. Harry is prince-turned King of England, Eggsy is the gardener. They meet when Harry thinks Eggsy is trespassing on royal property. What follows is a whirlwind romance set agains the backdrop of WW2, misunderstandings and uncertainties, how duty and responsibility and war draw them apart and back together. The writing is masterful, lyrical and the way they write Harry and Eggsy… it has literally made me cry. I adore it so much, even if it kills me. Influences from The King’s Speech and Testament of Youth.

under my skin (tried so not to give in) by venvephe

Rated E. Eggsy uses kissing Harry on missions as a diversion tactic. Then it stops becoming a diversion tactic and just an excuse to Eggsy to snog Harry. 

Okay, so my rec list is hella lame and I apologize. But I am going to tag @thisbirdhadflown for two reasons: so they can give more recs if they so wish and for everyone to check out their blog because they are doing the lord’s work. They rec Kingsman fics a lot. In separate posts and in once-a-month posts. They don’t just focus on Hartwin either so you get a bit of everything. I hope my paltry list gets you started! :)

anonymous asked:

Hey, could you maybe make an imagine to where Josh has been missing for quite sometime (like a few months or so) and everyone is worried sick and stuff. But then Tyler gets a call that he has been found? Also can the reader be his gf please?

JOSH DUN ONE IMAGINE 

Twenty eight hours.  

That’s how long it had been since anyone had heard from Josh.  

Twenty eight hours since you’d seen his name flash across your screen.

Twenty eight hours since you’d heard his voice.

Twenty eight hours since you’d seen his smile.

Twenty eight hours.  

A cancelled show.  

And a bajillion missed calls.

You were sleeping over at Tyler and Jenna’s, too anxious and scared to stay alone.  

It was an understatement to say you were a wreck, constantly alternating between ugly sobbing and vacant staring.  Tonight was a staring night.  Tonight was a night where your mind wandered into all the dark nooks and crannies you spent so much of you life trying to avoid.  

You barely felt Jenna’s arm around you.  And you could barely hear Tyler pacing in the dimly-lit hallway, leaving voicemail after voicemail on Josh’s phone.  All going unanswered.  

You’d shut your own phone off.  You’d become obsessed with checking it.  Constantly hopeful that Josh would return your calls.  Tell you he’s alive.  It was eating you from the inside out.  

Twenty eight hours.

Twenty eight excruciating hours.

It wasn’t a police case.  Josh had taken his wallet, his phone, his charger.  All the essentials.  No fowl play suspected.  No suspicious accidents.  He just vanished.  

“He’ll be back,” Tyler reassured you.  He was crouched on the floor in front of you, lightly touching your knee.  “I know he’ll be back.”  You nod, not believing a single word he said.  

“You need rest,” Jenna whispers, giving your shoulder a light rub.  

She’s probably right.  The bags under your eyes have become something out of a horror flick.  You think your insides are too squirmy to sleep, but you lay down, letting Jenna tuck you in like a child.  

Their guest bed is soft.  Like clouds.  

You find your mind wandering.  You start to think of some of the tweets you’d read through about the cancelled show.  Different theories and assumptions.  That the band actually broke up.  That someone died.

You wonder what Josh would say if he was here.  You imagine him kissing the tip of your nose and playing with your hair.  He’d probably tell you to stop thinking about it.  To think of something good instead.  

So you try.  You think of the purest and brightest thing in your life.  You think of it laughing, how it’s eyes get all crinkly when it smiles too big.  You think of how it smells and the rise and fall of it’s chest when it’s sleeping beside you at night.  You drift off, finally feeling at peace.

You’re being shaken awake in the middle of the night.  Dazed, confused and still half asleep, you sit up.  Tyler’s lanky silhouette is standing above you.  

“I’m gonna flip on the light,” he says.  

His warning doesn’t prepare you for the blinding flash that erupts.  

You immediately cover your eyes with your forearm, trying to adjust while still looking up at Tyler.  He has a large hoodie on, the bags under his eyes just as prominent as yours.

“He called,” he says, voice cracking.

Your arm falls immediately as you forget completely about the light.  

You’re already flinging the covers and swinging out of bed.  

“What?”  you stammer, still unsure if you believe Tyler or not.

“He called about fifteen minutes ago,” he pauses, “he’s safe.”

Your hand covers your heart, a weight being lifted.  “Thank goodness,” you exhale.

When Tyler doesn’t respond, you ask, “Where is he?”

He sighs, shoving his hands in his pocket.  “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? You just talked to him!”

“He didn’t say.  Said he needs some time,” Tyler exhales sharply, “doesn’t want to be found.”

“Doesn’t want to be found?” you repeat, “what the hell does that even mean?”  You’re becoming frantic.  You quickly rush to the dresser drawer in the corner of the room and turn your cellphone on.  Josh didn’t want to be found by Tyler.  

That didn’t mean he hadn’t tried to get in touch with you.  He’d probably been trying to reach you all day.  God, why did you turn your phone off? So, so stupid.  

You cradle your phone, watching as it boots up.  You stare at the home screen, waiting and waiting, but no texts come through.  No voicemails.  Nothing.  Josh hadn’t tried to reach you at all.  

You look up at Tyler, your face barely peaking out from your hair.  

“Did he say anything about me?”

Tyler pierces his lips, his eyes drooping sadly and shakes his head.

You choke out a sloppy sob, putting your hand over your mouth and hunching over.  Everything inside of you hurts.  You’re angry.  You’re terrified.  You’re confused.

Tyler hesitates.  Jenna had been the one comforting you all week so he wasn’t quite sure what you needed.  He awkwardly shuffles over and puts an arm around you.  You gratefully lean into his shoulder and ugly cry, wishing for this all to be over.  

“Why would he do this?” you whisper.  

“I wish I knew,” Tyler says.

Two more days go by and you start to ponder with the idea of Josh leaving you.  As much terror and anguish you felt the first day of Josh’s disappearance was nothing compared to how you felt now.  Josh chose this.  He chose to leave.  He chose to ignore your voicemails and texts.  

You wanted to respect whatever decision Josh made, even if you didn’t understand it.  So you’d stopped calling.  You’d stopped texting.  A small piece inside of you thought that maybe your silence would make him realize how much he missed you.  But it was eating you alive.  

Apparently you needed Josh way more than he needed you.  

Tonight you were back in your apartment for the first night since he left.  The silence was horrible, unsettling.  You sat on the edge of Josh and your bed, feeling the throw blanket underneath your fingertips.  The room was eerily clean, all the pillows perfectly placed on the bed, every dresser drawer shut tight.  It really showed that no one had lived in the space for over a week.  You pinched the fabric between your thumb and pointer finger.

You stood up, suddenly too overcome with emotions to sit still.  You walk to Josh’s side of the room, the side usually masked with chaos and disorder.  You pulled open his drawer.  His T-shirts laying neatly, folded just how you left them.  You sigh, pulling one out.  You wish it was unwashed, just pulled off his body.  You wished it smelled like him.  Instead all you could smell was lavender fabric softener.  

Something in your chest cracks as you fail to remember what Josh smells like.  It takes less than a second for you to break down.  You clutch his shirt in your fist and start to sob uncontrollably.  Your insides feel like they’re being ripped apart.  You can feel each stitch pull apart, as your heart tears further and further.  You wrap your arms around yourself, desperate to hold at least some of it together.  

You wonder what you did to make Josh run away.  You thought back to your last night together, and tried to pinpoint any signs that Josh was so unhappy.  You didn’t notice.  Whatever was going on in his head, you didn’t notice.  What kind of girlfriend did that make you?  

What kind of person did that make you?

You pulled your phone out of your pocket then, desperate and hysteric and unsure of what else to do.  

You briefly contemplated calling Tyler or Jenna.  But you knew only one person could make you feel better when you were frantic like this.  So you dialed the only number you still knew by heart.

The line rang.


And rang.

And rang.

Your throat felt tight when Josh speaks to you.  You must’ve heard his voicemail a thousand times, but nevertheless, hearing his voice soothed you.

“Hey, this is Josh, I’m obviously not around to pick up, but I’ll call ya back.”  Bullshit, you thought.

“But leave a message if you want!”

Beep.

You freeze.  Realizing that you had nothing planned to say.  Nothing remarkable or clever or monumental.  

“Hey,” you whisper, trying to keep your voice as steady as possible.  “Um, it’s me.”

“I know you don’t wanna hear from me,” you begin.

Your nose starts to burn and you feel the tears starting to surface again, you try to hold them back.

“But uh-“ your voice grows thicker, “uh- I-”

You breathe shakily into the line, “I’m just at the apartment and it’s really quiet and I don’t think I’ll really be able to sleep,” you pause.  “And I’m just having a bad night, and I uh- I didn’t really know who else to call,” you wipe your wet cheek before continuing, “Tyler said you’re okay.  Which is good.  I’m glad you’re safe.

I just missed hearing your voice,” you say letting out a shaky sigh.  “And I’m sorry.  If I hurt you- I’m really sorry,” you sob heavily.  An ugly, heart wrenching cry.  “I just wanted to say that the keys under the mat and I’ll leave the light on incase you want to come home.”

You click the end button, letting the line go dead.  You clutch your phone to your chest, hanging your head and continuing to cry.

Sleep evades you for days.  You walk around, a lifeless, empty shell.  You do things.  You make the bed and fold the laundry.  But you don’t really feel any of it.  

Tyler and Jenna stop by one afternoon.  

Tyler looks shitty, too.  He’s skinny and his cheek bones are so prominent, like he hasn’t eaten in days.  Come to think of it, neither had you.  

“This is ridiculous,” Jenna says, all but slamming her fists down on your kitchen counter.  You look up sharply, startled by her sudden outburst.

“We have to go find him,” she says, “he can’t just runaway.  And we can’t just let him.”

“Jenna-“ Tyler interjects.

“No,” she says harshly.  “I can’t sit here and watch you, and you,” she says looking over towards where you were seated, “disappear with him.  You’re both fading away.  He can’t do this to us.”

You look up at Jenna, eyes swollen from so much crying, too tired to register all of what she was saying.  

“How can he do this?” she says in frustration, her voice cracking.  She starts to cry, standing in the middle of your kitchen.  Tyler hurries over, cupping her cheek and cradling her into his arms.  They sway, engulfed in each other’s arms.  

You feel sick.

You quietly push out of your chair and walk upstairs.  This was all becoming too much.  

You stop answering calls.  Jenna texts you constantly, trying to check up.  You don’t even open them.  Tyler calls, leaves messages.  Asks how you’re holding up.

About as good as could be expected.  

You feel utterly pathetic.  But you don’t want to function without Josh around.  Everything looks two shades duller and your chest constantly feels like it’s being compressed.  It’s hard enough just getting the energy to breathe.  You don’t want to talk to Tyler or Jenna.

They come by one afternoon, knocking and yelling your name through the door.  You’re in bed, hugging Josh’s pillow.  You’re biting your lips.  Your teeth sink so hard into the skin, you feel a crack and then taste blood.  

They eventually go away.  And you’re left in silence.  

By the forth day, you gave in and answered the door.

You pretend Tyler and Jenna’s presence is a bother, but you’re relieved to have some distractions  from your thoughts.

You’d been starting to wonder if Josh had runway with someone else.  It made perfect sense.  Josh met a girl at a show, didn’t stop at home, took off.  Didn’t want to be found.  Didn’t want to be bothered.  Called Tyler, not you.

Tyler tells you that he thinks the idea was ridiculous.  But you see Jenna biting her lip in the corner of the room, contemplating your theory.  She obviously doesn’t think it’s so crazy.

Your stomach hurt just thinking about it.  

Tyler and Jenna start sleeping at your place.  You get the feeling that they don’t trust you after ignoring them for three days.  You don’t mind so much though.  You sleep better knowing they’re just two doors down.  

The phone call comes that night.  

And Tyler is (once again) shaking you awake in the wee hours of the morning.

“Come on,” he’s whispering, tugging on your bare shoulder.

You’re grunting, unsure about what’s going on.

“Y/N, let’s go,” is all he says.  You groggily get out of bed, taking the sweatshirt Tyler has out for you.

“What’re you doing Ty?” you ask, disoriented.

“Josh’s mom called,” he says quickly, that catches your attention.  “He’s home.”

You wake up immediately.  Forgetting about being exhausted and half asleep.  

You pile into the car with Tyler and Jenna, nerves and anxiety building up inside of you.

“What’d she say?” you finally ask once the three of you were on the road.  

“Just that he showed up on her doorstep, thought we should come quickly.”

“What if he doesn’t want us there, Ty?” you whisper softly.  You weren’t sure what to expect when you finally saw Josh.  Relief?  Anger?  You were terrified of the unexpected.  He could’ve been anywhere these last few days.  You were afraid he didn’t want you.  You were afraid he’d reject you once he saw you.  

“Too bad for him,” Tyler said through gritted teeth.  

Josh’s childhood house sat back on the grass.  It was the only house with lights on in the entire cul de sac.  Tyler and Jenna got out of the car as soon as it pulled to a stop.  But you remained, staring forward and twisting your thumbs between your fingers.  You couldn’t do this.

Tyler realized you weren’t moving.

He opened your door for you, leaning down so that he was eye level.

“I’m scared too,” Tyler whispered, “but Josh is worth it.” He holds out his hand for you to take.  You look up at him.  His sincere eyes were warm and soothing.  You take his hand and get out of the car.  

Josh is worth it, you say over and over again in your head.  

You don’t even hear Tyler ring the doorbell.

In fact, you don’t snap back into the moment until Josh’s mom is opening the door, staring back at the three of you.

She gasps, holding her hand over her mouth.  “Thank God you’re here,” she says, holding her arms out, embracing Tyler in a giant hug.  

She moves on to you next, squeezing you tightly.

“He’s inside,” she says, leading the way.

You have to fight back the tears when you lay your eyes on a sleeping Josh.  He looks so peaceful, sprawled out on the couch, his head resting on a pillow etched with the words “home is where the heart is”.  

“What did he say?” Tyler asks softly.

“Not much,” Laura said, “I thought he was drunk at first,” she explained.  “I was going to be furious.  But then he just broke down, started to actually cry right on the doorstep.  I didn’t push,” she says, “I just led him to the couch to lay down.”  

Tyler shakes his head then and starts to walk over towards Josh.  No one stops him.  

He kneels in front of the couch, and ever so gently, shakes Josh awake.  You stay back, too terrified to go any closer.

Josh is confused at first, looking at Tyler like he’s a dream.  

But before anyone can say anything, Tyler leans in and hugs Josh.  It takes him a minute before Josh reciprocates the action.  But once he realizes this isn’t a dream, he’s hugging back.

“Tyler-“ he chokes out, “I’m sorry,” his voice is hoarse and filled with anguish.  He’s sobbing into Tyler’s shoulder.  His cried echo throughout the living room, filling the air.

You start to cry.  Hugging yourself around the middle again, fearful of splitting in two.  Seeing Josh in so much pain is worse than you could ever imagine.  You feel utterly helpless.

Tyler is gripping him so tightly.  “Don’t be sorry,” is all he says back.  

It’s all too much for you.  You shake your head anxiously and back away from the scene.  Slow at first, you eventually rush to the bathroom, shutting and latching the door.  That’s when you let out an uncontrollable sob, stemming from all the pain in your chest.  

You weren’t strong enough for any of this, you thought as you stared at your tear-stricken, blotchy face in the mirror.  You were exhausted and confused.  You were relieved and angry.  You were terrified.  You didn’t know how to process any of it.  Josh was unharmed.  Not, in fact, dead in a ditch somewhere.  He was right in front of you, fine in some ways.  So, so broken in others.  

There was nothing you could do.

He didn’t need you right now.  You’d just get in the way.  

You had to get out.  

You unlatched the door.  

As you made your way to the front entrance though, Tyler waited for you.  

“You can’t leave,” he says, standing in your way.

“Tyler,” you choke, “I can’t be here-“

“He needs you,” Tyler says, matter of factly.

“No,” you sigh, “he needs his friend and his mom.  That’s who he reached out to.  That’s who he needs.  He didn’t call me,” you say, the anger flaring up inside you, “he didn’t call me, he didn’t text me.  He didn’t show up at my door.  He doesn’t need me.”

Tyler’s shaking his head.

“Stop,” he says harshly, “don’t make this about you.”

You squint your eyes at Tyler, “Excuse me?”

“This isn’t about you,” he says.  “This is about Josh.  And Josh’s pain.  He is broken and fighting a battle inside his head.  He needs you here.  If you leave now, that’ll be the most selfish thing you’ve ever done.  He is scared and he’s fragile and he needs you here.”

Your face softens and you break eye contact from Tyler, your eyes wondering to the floor instead.  

You sigh.  “Is he sleeping again?”

Tyler nods.  “Yeah, but I think he’d like it if you went and sat with him.”

You bite your lip anxiously.  “Okay,” you agree.

You’re still unsure.  You don’t believe Tyler’s words.  But you try.  

Josh has his mouth open slightly, his head tilted back.  Your heart immediately flutters at the sight.  There’s a chair next to the couch, presumably where Laura had been before you all arrived.  You pull it up close to Josh, as quiet as you can, and you gently take his hand in both of yours.  His skin is calloused and rough, but familiar.  You hold tightly, cupping his skin and bringing it to your lips, softly kissing each knuckle.  

Your heart ached.

You missed Josh so much.  

You never wanted to have to live without him again.  

Eventually you fell asleep hunched over, resting your head on your arms, which were on the edge of the couch.  You weren’t sure how long you sat there, but it was long enough that by the time someone was saying your name to wake you, you had a kink in your neck that just might never go away.

Josh’s voice saying your name had never sounded so good.

You sit up, instantly alert.

“Hm?” you respond, brushing a strand of hair out from your mouth.

Josh’s golden eyes were staring into yours, warm and honest.  You smiled instinctively.  

“Hey,” you whisper.

“Hey,” he says back.  “You’re here.”

“Course, I’m here,” you say.  “I’ll always be here.”

You hope he knows that.  

He nods, his face growing somber.  “I’m sorry,” he whispers softly.

You shake your head sharply, “No, no, Josh,” you aren’t sure how to continue.  You aren’t sure what to say.  Your instinct want to tell him it’s okay.  That everything is fine.  But the bags under Josh’s eyes tell you everything is not okay.  And the dead look in his eye tells you that everything is not fine.  “You can talk to me,” you say instead.

He nods.  “I don’t even know what to say.”

“That’s okay, too,” you say, grabbing his hand in yours.  You squeeze it tightly.  “But when you do know what to say, you can talk to me.  Until then, I’ll still be here.”

“I got your voicemails,” he says.

You nod slowly, remembering the pleads and sobbing over the phone.  

“I can’t really explain why I didn’t call back.  I couldn’t, I guess,” he says, still pondering, “I just couldn’t do it.  I was ready to go on stage Thursday night, I had all my stuff and I was going through the routine and I just had this voice in my mind telling me I couldn’t do it.  That I should just turn and run.  It’s the same voice that’s always saying I’m not good enough.  I don’t know, I guess it just took over.  So I left.  I ran.”

You squeezed his hand harder, wanting to emphasize that you were still there.

“You called.  And Tyler called.  And I just couldn’t face either of you.  I felt embarrassed and ashamed and worthless,” he spits the last part, “It’s so overwhelming,” his voice starts to break, “all of this, I just wake up sometimes and I feel like I can’t handle any of it.  But I don’t want to disappoint you, or Ty.  I just want to be good.”

You cup Josh’s face in your hands.  He has creases in his skin, evidence of agony and pain.  You squeeze your eyes shut and press your forehead to his.

“You’re good,” you say.

He starts shaking his head, but you hold it firmly between your hands.

“You’re good.”

“I wanted to call, but I thought you’d be disgusted by me.  I couldn’t come out of this hole, this dark, dark hole.”

“I love you,” you whisper.  “I love you, all of you.  The good you, the creative, funny, gentle, warm-hearted you.  But I love the insecure you.  The you with all the demons and dark skeletons in the closet.  I love you.”

Josh’s nose squishes up and he squeezes his eyes shut, fighting back tears.

“Please,” you plead, “don’t ever run away like that again.  I was so scared, Josh.  And I know there’s nothing I can say to make the voices go away, but you don’t have to listen to them alone.  I’ll always be here.  I’ll listen to them too.  I’ll remind you how wrong they are.  Just please, don’t leave.”

Josh slowly nods, forehead still touching yours.  

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.  “I’m sorry I scared you.”

The two of you sit like that for a while.  Entranced in each other.

Josh finally pulls back asking, “Can I come home now?”

You smile lightly, “Of course, I told you I’d always leave the light on for you.”

anonymous asked:

that video was so pointless? dan and phil are just grasping for money at this point.

uh well obviously they’re trying to make money from their videos as youtube is a business and dan and phil have to make revenue to thrive, i just don’t think the execution of this video was the best? first of all i was confused as to why they uploaded it to the gaming channel because they weren’t actually playing any games… just licking the cartridges. it doesn’t really fit the format of danandphilgames at all and i think it would’ve sat more comfortably on one of their side channels, maybe even phil’s main. what i found interesting though is that they’re literally self admittedly desperate for views, dan made a point to say that, and he even tweeted about the quality of danandphilgames going downhill. they seem really aware of the shitpost quality of their gaming videos lately and i’m not saying that’s a bad thing, it’s just that their selection of potential games is so massive! i hope they play a really serious and heart wrenching game soon. at the end of the day this was just a dumb 7 minute video that had good aspects and bad aspects and we’re getting a gaming video this weekend so let’s look forward to that

anonymous asked:

i rly thought i could handle seeing seokjin's face when the girl gets hit by the car another time (in the lys vid three) but his acting skills were just like :/ think again bITCH

fck i know right!! his shocked face (like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing) and the purple/dark coloring they had really strengthened the scene even more! WHERE’S HIS ACTING ROLE??!!

My Top Favorite Writers in the ST Fandom and Why

Tori (@themikewheelers) The fics she writes are always so sweet and heart wrenching in the best way. I really love the way she gets into the headset of her characters, and always finds a way to add a touch of humor and kindred spirit to her plots and storylines. Reading what she writes is always bound to put a smile on anyone’s face. ( And don’t worry Tori your angst is amazing too!!)

Val (@elevenknope) She can literally turn any fic with any ship into something you didn’t realized you loved so much. She’s able to produce ideas and headcanons so fast you wonder how someone has so many adorable ideas for fictional characters in their head. Great at multi chapter AUs as well as simple one lined headcanons, there all always something to remember.

Abby (@itcouldbendoritcouldbreak) Abby is quite literally the best at characterization, which no one realizes is a very hard thing to channel. Characters who have difficult complex personalities and headspaces she’s able to have the reader comprehend in a really complex way and it really resonates with you. At any year she sets, any timeline, she’s got you covered on exactly how someone’s feeling.

Ely (@richiehoezier) One time I asked her for what she thought about the premise of a character anonymously and she literally wrote me an entire fic. It wasn’t that it was so fast it that it was so beautiful as well. With her fics it’s sentiments you don’t forget and lines you can’t miss. Her metaphors for how someone is feeling are the best whether it’s angsty or fluffy it’s always gold.

Emma (@ghost-grantaire) If you want someone who can write literally both the teens and the kids so well you don’t really need to look anywhere else. Her love for rare pairs and misunderstood characters is demonstrated in such a lovely way through her writing. She can make you fall in love with a character you’ve never even met literally.

Mars (@gaywillbyers) This girl can make a sunset sound. like. the. most. beautiful. thing. in. the. world. The one thing that always stands out to me with her is her attention to detail it’s insane. She can make something that sounds incredibly mundane into something you’ll never wanna take your eyes off of and it’s amazing. Byeler is forever, and that’s because of Mars.

Ami (@theamiableanachronism) Her fics are always so gushy and blushy and it’s so heartwarming. The way she writes Dustin is like the cutest thing I’ve ever read I can’t stand it. She focuses a lot on emotion in her writing and it really really shows; always puts the perfect image in my head. Every time.

Lara (@stevemossington) You won’t find quality angst like hers. You just can’t. It literally rips your heart from your chest cavity without warning and it’s so refreshing. To explore beyond simple smiles and innocence is a really thing hard to do and to have a talent like this is immeasurable. And an honorable writing quality as well.

Whitney (@haystack-hanscom) I’ve bookmarked so many of her Byeler fics on Ao3 (finnxwheeler is her name there) I have such a soft spot for them. I love the way she writes Will so much in all of his anxious fearful shy glory, and how she paints Mike as someone he looks up to and someone who has always meant so much to him. Young Byeler or Older Byeler is always golden here.

Savannah (@sstrangerthaneleven) If Stranger Things wasn’t horror oriented and focused solely on all of our favorite characters problems she might as well write it. The way she writes everyone is so on point I can literally hear their voices in my head. You’ll end up reading all of her fics without even realizing it.

Kit (@forfutureglory) I know she doesn’t write much ST anymore but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever forget what she used to write. She always put so much care in what she wrote and seeing that care wasn’t ever hard to miss. The detail the imagery were always a joy to read and those fics were unforgettable, always will be so great.

These are all the most amazing writers ever and I’m so glad that they all decide to put in the time to share it with everyone here even though they have absolutely no obligation to. All of them will always be my writing inspirations and I thank them all truly for that.

anonymous asked:

POTENTIALLY ODD QUESTION INCOMING: but uh what songs remind you of chanbaek the most?

Alright now when I list these off, you have to know I think of Chanbaek in different situations when listening to these songs because we DON’T actually know what their relationship IS (apart from good friends of course) so I don’t just listen to happy love songs and go “OH THAT’S SO THEM uwu” I actually have different situations in mind as to what might be there.

1. Emoticons - The Wombats

I’m going to be honest, I really wanted to make a Chanbaek video with this song. However, The Wombats use a lot of odd wording and metaphors so not everyone would understand why the hell I made a Chanbaek video with this song. Anyway, the song is about two people. These two people are in a relationship that is purely friends with sexual acts (so friends with benefits basically) but they feel there’s more between them except they both refuse to acknowledge it and instead just stick to sex. Person A (singer) cares very much for person B and wants to do nothing but be with them and spoil them rotten. However, person A knows that’ll never happen, yet they still stick with being friends with benefits with person B because it’s better than nothing and they just want person B in their life. For me, I imagined what if Chanbaek did have a relationship like this and Chanyeol was person A (since he spoils Baekhyun all the time) and Baekhyun was person B. Now, if you listen to the song, you might not have any idea where tf I’m getting any of this from and just be confused. So yeah I don’t think I could really make a Chanbaek vid with this asdfgh.

2. Lies -  Jane XØ

Basically again, a friends with benefits kinda deal. Person A (singer) and person B argue all the time but still have a strong attraction to each other. However, for person B it is purely sexual while person A is in love with person B but refuses to admit it. Yet person A still calls person B theirs even though they have no romantic relationship. For this I imagined Baekhyun as person A and Chanyeol as person B just because I can see Baekhyun trying suppress those feelings but still see Chanyeol as ‘his’. One line that’s especially powerful for me is “If I think I’m in love I’m the only one who’ll ever know.”

3.  In Your Arms (Nebbra Remix) - Crystal Fighters

This song doesn’t need to be explained it’s just a sweet song that could apply to the perspective of either Chanyeol or Baekhyun, but I like to think Baekhyun because Chanyeol has big arms eheheheh. It’s just a sweet song and the remix makes it super upbeat and sweet so I love it.

4. YDU (Pluto Remix) - Opia

Basically for this, person A (singer) and person B have a fucked up relationship (not abusive I just mean the emotions and the way they show their love to each other can at times seem like they hate each other so hate love). However, person A is just extremely captivated by person B and person B doesn’t quite seem to understand that. For this I see person A as Chanyeol and person B as Baekhyun. One line in particular that made me think “This is definitely Chanyeol” is “Come back, don’t you realise I’ll go wherever you go” because Chanyeol just follows Baekhyun everywhere and there are a few moments where Chanyeol just looks whipped by Baekhyun.

5.  Wrong (Party Pupils Remix featuring Taylor Bennett) - MAX

The song is self explanatory. They fukin, they know they shouldn’t be fukin, but they are anyway cause they’re too obsessed with each other and they don’t give a shit. You can imagine either Chanyeol or Baekhyun’s perspectives for this one.

6. Powerful - Major Lazer

This song is also self explanatory but it’s just THEM you know?? They both have so much power over each other and are each other’s strength and I like this song a lot just because it sings from two of the same perspectives of two people who are just everything to each other.

7. Unfair - EXO

Look just look up the English lyrics for this there is such a massive Chanbaek vibe it makes me wanna punch Chanyeol in the god damn face because it especially makes me think from Chanyeol’s perspective since Chanyeol just sometimes stares at that boy with the most adoring eyes and gOd dAMMIT

8. Her - Eery

This song doesn’t really have any lyrics, I don’t know how to explain it but it just gives me really soft Chanbaek feels. Like it just gives me that whole vibe of Chanyeol and Baekhyun just thinking of each other and being happy mushy messes asdfgh look I don’t know but this song is so sweet to me.

9. Creep - Radiohead

This song is an absolute classic. I see this more from Baekhyun’s perspective because I feel like Baekhyun really looks up to Chanyeol a lot for being so self confident and talented and basically have properties he just really admires and loves, but Baekhyun just sees himself as someone not suited to be with Chanyeol yet he still wants Chanyeol to just notice him and be around him. This song is really gorgeous to me and honestly if you haven’t heard it HOW HAVEN’T YOU HEARD IT it is really so heart wrenching.

10. Mistakes - Prelow

Fuck do I really love this song at the moment like REALLY!! This gives me a really really big Chanbaek vibe and I really want to make a video with this and let me explain WHY! BASICALLY person A (singer) has a kind of influence over person B and person B’s whole being just gets asdfgh when person A is around so they hold it in around person A. However, at first person A doesn’t want to see anything sexual or romantic with person B because they’re just friends but even though person A is constantly thinking about person B they WON’T ADMIT IT!! Person A is Chanyeol and person B is Baekhyun. NOW PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN SOME OF THE LYRICS SO YOU ALL GET WHAT I SEE IN THIS SONG!

“I’m not confused, it’s just you’re making me think of all our conversations missing their link” - This is Chanyeol (look I am just saying Chanyeol not person A at this point) thinking about all the conversations they’ve had that seem to end on really open suggestions or can be taken as something MORE than friends LOOK IT’S HARD TO EXPLAIN but it’s just a strong line to me!

“And my dick takes over, and I’m thinkin’ bout your lips” - Listen I’m only putting this in here because you guys would just chuck a giggle at the dick part BUT the reason it says that is because IT IS CHANYEOL NOT THINKING REASONABLY and he just suddenly starts thinking about Baekhyun and how gorgeous he is and he can’t control his thoughts. THE LINE IS NOT MEANT TO BE LAUGHED AT I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS LINE.

“It seems the key was not to peek through the locks” - Chanyeol knows Baekhyun likes him and it’s because he looked too into things and found things out and he wish he didn’t because now he’s thinking and feeling these things that he shouldn’t be thinking and feeling and it’s made their relationship awkward and fuckign I really love this song.

“But all your makeup’s running and I’m walking you home” + “But all those pretty people are still going home” - THIS IS LIKE okay I love this because it’s basically saying Chanyeol can just get boned by anyone like he can just go out and have a good fuck by some gorgeous person (hence the ‘all those pretty people’ line) but he DOESN’T he stays with BAEKHYUN who may just be crying over something and Chanyeol doesn’t have to deal with that but he still DOES and even if Baekhyun isn’t acting badly drunk he will STILL bring Baekhyun back home with him and let him stay the night (but not for sexual things literally just to sleep because THAT’S THE POINT!!)

“But we’re too damn sober for mistakes like this” - Okay THIS line is THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SONG because what it’s saying is we could get drunk and we could just fuck and both have a good time BUT they know that’s WRONG and Chanyeol ESPECIALLY knows that’s a mistake because Baekhyun loves him. SO the song line is we both know what’s going on here to not just let go and indulge in each other AND IF THAT ISN’T THE MOST ASDGH

Look I don’t know if you guys can see Chanbaek in this but I REALLY love this god damn song and I’ve listened to it so much help  m e.


Okay well that’s all I got for that sorry this was so long but yes my music taste is a bit everywhere but still ENJOY THOSE SONGS!!

(also if you don’t like chanbaek I’m sorry this was probably really cringey for you and I just wanna point out I don’t believe that they are or aren’t real I am very on the fence about a lot of idol relationships simply because we just really can’t know)

Simple is Not Enough

Member: SeungYoon // WINNER

Genre: Smut, Romance, Comedy(?)

Short Summary: Her thinking of him too lightly had turned out to be one of the best blessings in the world.

A/N: Nothing really that smutty, tbh, but it will still categorize as that, you know? Btw. I lost the request for this smut, but it was definitely for an anon, so there you have it~!

Words: 796

Recently, she had noticed the fact that simply having his cock inside of her was not pleasing; not to the point of going over the edge, anyway. After they had done their usual routine she would find herself in the bathroom, twisting her limbs in the most uncomfortable position ever trying to get herself off with her own help. In the end, however, even that extra soon became useless and completely unhelpful.

She was becoming more and more anxious, the itching between her legs not giving her head a moment of rest and quiet, but she said nothing to him- the man she loved and treasured with all of her might. She never wanted him to think weird of her, and she didn’t want to put him into an uncomfortable situation over the fact that his monotone routine was getting on her nerves.

That man was supposed to be protected from all such things.

Keep reading

bitterbiracialbibliophile  asked:

Peter doesn't realise it, but he has a routine and pre-planned patrol is an integral part of it. The couple hours a night he spends running around Queens, apprehending evildoers is the only time he's not staring at a screen or stressed to all heck about school & money & his day job on top of everything else. He can't sleep if he doesn't do it and this headcanon started out cute but got really sad oh gosh ;-;

but those are the best types of hcs!!!! 

  • and just think about it. peter doesn’t really fit in; he’s way too into science, he’s awkward and uncomfortable around most people, he just doesn’t have a real place in his own world. but spidey is different. when peter is patrolling he feel’s like he’s in his element. he knows what he needs to do, he knows what is expected from him. and he’s good at what he does. he makes a real difference
  • so when he can’t patrol for whatever reason, something akin to homesickness settles in his stomach. it’s like there’s something he’s missing or forgetting and it’s this nagging feeling that won’t leave him alone
  • if it’s late and he’s not patrolling, his anxiety acts up. he knows, rationally, that the world isn’t going to end if he spend one night at home, but that doesn’t stop the worry that something bad is happening somewhere and he’s not doing anything to stop it
  • usually this just results in him being cranky. he’ll talk less and he’ll be all pouty but he’s fine the next time he puts on the suit
  • (sometimes, though, it turns into full-on panic attacks. the first time he stayed late at the tower working with tony, he hadn’t missed a patrol in three months. so when 2am rolled around there was this overwhelming feeling of oh god no that he had been trying to squash all night and the dam finally burst and he hid in the bathroom for 30 minutes while he tried to pull himself together)
  • also, even though he tries not to have a predictable route, peter knows his patrol-area like the back of his hand
  • except when it’s daytime. he’ll think he knows where he’s going but then get lost bc everything looks so different at night
  • he’s usually patrolling from like 12-3am. every day, between those hours, the “peter” part of him takes a break from the stress of school and home and work and he just gets to help people as spidey. so there’s this huge personality change that happens between those times that happens even if he’s not in his suit where he’s more confident and carefree and it’s really confusing to everyone else
  • but his body has learned to crash at 4am. no matter what he’s doing. if it’s 4am EST, peter parker is asleep, and it makes no difference if he’s in his own bed or at an avengers meeting in europe
  • (it’s 3:30am EST. they’re gathered at a diplomatic meeting in germany. peter is literally bouncing in his seat. the avengers are speaking to the group about regulating international missions. forty minutes in, tony turns around to ask peter to give his opinion, and they find him slumped in his seat, his chin on his chest, softly snoring)
Harvey Update

Still doing okay in my little island here! My neighborhood is still all right, comparatively dry, and have not lost any utilities. I do not plan on leaving my comfortable little dry cocoon for the foreseeable future. So, I’m doing okay!

This is really surreal and heart wrenching to be watching unfold. Yesterday the emergency alerts on my phone kept going off about every five minutes with a constant string of tornado warnings. There was about twelve that had touched down around various parts of Houston, one not that far from me, but thankfully no one was badly hurt, and the property damage could have been much worse.

I’ve been through several major rain and flood events over the years, and this is honestly unlike anything I have ever seen. Some of the freeways look like they’ve become rivers, I’ve seen footage of roadways being washed away, and amount of people being displaced and needing to be rescued is staggering just from yesterday and today. It’s possible this could go on for a few more days according to forecasts. 

I’m keeping everyone affected by this storm in my thoughts, both here, down south where they got hit by the brunt of the storm. Stay safe guys!

My top 11 after position evaluations

tbh I was randomly putting ppl I recognize after like 8th last time so since more people got screentime (yay), here’s my new list

Again there’s no particular order to this

Lee Daehwi - Incredibly glad that the hate had started to die down and there’re so many positive comments for him. PWF isn’t a great song to showcase vocals, but Daehwi killed it (and so did everyone else). Him trying not be extra and even refusing the center and leader position when it was offered to him is heartbreaking, but at least people are saying he matured. His reactions to the other perf are the most adorable thing ever. Fighting!!

Im Youngmin  - Be Mine team 2 was my favourite performance after sorry sorry and I can’t believe I didn’t notice him and donghyun and sewoon were in the group. Boys and Girls was kind of an average perf their rehearsals were so so so much better all in all but he’s such a nice person I can’t help but take a liking in him.

Hong Eunki  - Dancing is on point and I can’t express how much I loved that sudden collaboration between him and Jung Jung in ep5. Eunki’s dad needs to open his eyes and see the talents his son have. Really love him for pushing hwanwoong to become center because he deserves it so much more than haknyeon did.

Kim Samuel - Please save him. His dancing is good if nothing else. He might not stand out as much as the others did in Get Ugly but I don’t think he should be last? The way he was crying about thinking he doesn’t have enough talent even if he tried his best is sad. Believe in yourself you’re amazing!

Kim Jaehwan - I actually would have put sewoon but I think no offense he is more suited to debut as an individual singer. He’s a great vocal and they need someone who can hit high notes.

Kang Daniel -  He tried really hard to help to fulfill his leader role after their disastrous dance check is really admirable not to mention that he was inspired by Jonghyun which is adorable. Also, have I mention that Daniel basically invented b-boying like wow mate. He’s quite an all rounder too.

Kim Jonghyun (JR) - His crying out of guilt after he was announced first because of the tiniest mistake mnet didn’t even bother to play up is heart-wrenching. I wish Jonghyun was happier. Really the nation’s leader and I swear he’s in a competition with youngmin to see who can be more saintly because their reactions were the same.  More than wanting them to be in the final lineup, I hope they succeed with Nu’est after the show, but if one of them gets in I’m hoping it’s him. 

Noh Taehyun - Did he deserve 1st in dancing? Hell yes. No matter what I still stand by Shape of You being the best dance performance, and he carried the leader/centre position well.

Ong Seungwoo - Another all rounder. His expression in Get Ugly reminds me of Somi’s Bang Bang lipsync. Put him here just because he needs to debut with Daniel or else my heart will legit break.

Yoon Jisung - He was one of the undecided ones last time, and I did say I don’t think he should be 3rd but the hate he got was undeserved. Plus he’s a good moral booster and his singing is quite decent too.

Jung Jung (Zhu Zheng Ting) - he’s a great dancer and I need to see more collabs between him and Eunki. Just saying. And he deserves higher than 50th.

Honourable mentions: Park Woojin (would have put him there but then everyone from bnm will be there and while I love them I feel like’s it’s slightly unfair), Kim Donghyun (pls save him he did really well in Boys and Girls actually and I’m not ready to see the bnm boys be separated), Park Jihoon (he’s talented but doesn’t have much screentime so i cant really judge?), Lee Gunhee (his big ass mouth and amazing vocals are great but I will have to see more first)

slybears  asked:

You're going to make me cry!!! 😭😭 But I still love you!

Dude, I’m sick of the drama I created, really 😁 I feel ill writing these heart-wrenching posts and going through everything I came up with again and again and again 😁 I already deleted a couple of posts from my queue so it could go faster 😊 I have no idea how some of you write drama all the time. You have the nerves of steel and balls of stone, I swear!! 😉

What I loved about The Imitation Game:
  • the a-chronological structure of the plot
  • Joan and Allan’s epic bromance
  • the large amounts of situational comedy largely due to Alan
  • the cinematography, for example the combination of black and white archive footage with diegetic footage
  • how Alan spied a small boy immersed in a puzzle on the train in the very first sequence - great way to highlight character traits
  • that they didn’t bury the audience in technobabble and kept it all pretty basic 
  • how Alan’s backstory was woven into the narration, highlighting certain aspects 
  • also, the Christopher story arc is heart-wrenching 
  • really, I must have gone “awwww” about fifty times
  • how Christopher taking Alan under his wing is contrasted with Alan looked after Joan
  • Keira Knightly’s performance and how she actually managed to impress me and not annoy me despite my inclination to the contrary
  • Benedict’s performance as Alan, respectively Alan’s character in general - I found that the viewer undergoes the same change that Hugh and the others undergo, from laughing at Alan’s peculiar nature to actually caring about him and, if not understanding him, at least accepting him
  • how the film did not shape Alan Turing to be a particularly likable character - in fact they made no secret about how unlikable he could be
  • how after the audience witnessed all that Alan Turing did during the war, the filmmakers emphasized how little his country cared for him afterwards and how insanely daft homophobic laws are and how angry it left me 
  • also, all the actors were amazing, from Benedict and Keira to Mark Strong and Matthew Goode and Charles Dance and …
  • He’s from MI6 - But there are only 5 divisions of Military Intelligence! - Exactly. *chuckles*

And, maybe most of all, how many themes permeated the film from start to finish: 

  • How far should we go for the Greater Good aka ‘The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.’ *hugs-Peter-Hilton*
  • Information is power - as John Cairncross has shown so expertly by blackmailing Alan into keeping quiet
  • Normal does not mean good or better: “It is the people who no one imagines anything of, who do the things that no one can imagine.” - Joan Clarke
  • Being different means you have to adapt, act differently, because the world is unfair: “I’m a woman on a man’s job and I don’t have the luxury of being an arse.” - Joan Clarke

I’m sure there’s a lot more that I could name but I’m still emotionally compromised by this cinematic experience…

I always say that bangtan’s old stuff makes me nostalgic and I do miss those eras, but I really do love their slower songs and their image now. Their slow songs are composed so beautifully, like hold me tight, butterfly, love is not over, autumn leaves, and spring day. They’re such beautiful songs and the lyrics are really heart wrenching like in spring day, 

“Honestly I miss you
But I’ll erase you
Because it hurts less
Than to blame you”

or in Hold me tight,

“the loneliness is filling up again
I wish I’d just lost everything
why did I nitpick so much
even to the trash bags thrown aside on the road
they make a lonely sound in the wind”

those really tug at my heartstrings lmao. I know a lot of people love their more hyped up songs (me included) like not today, baepsae, dope etc, etc, but it’s so nice to take the time to appreciate this side of them.