this i have never known

2

George Cukor and Katharine Hepburn chose Vivien Leigh’s rented home and staff in 1964, when she returned to Hollywood to film Ship of Fools. Upon her arrival, Cukor and Hepburn prepared to already have a cooked dinner waiting for her. “After that first meal Vivien asked who did this and who did that. She tucked it all off and thanked everyone who had done anything for her. I have never known anyone so appreciative if anything was done for her. She was fundamentally kind. To be constantly kind and have constant good manners, that is a very educated soul.”

  • Aaron: He doesn't want you, he doesn't want the... You can't just trap him.
  • Rebecca: You really think that's what this is? I wanted to get on a flight out of here. He should never have known. I'm not trying to take your husband.
  • Aaron: Just... stay away from him. Don't contact him, don't see him.
  • Rebecca: And you think that'll solve it? What do you want? That we all just pretend this isn't happening? You go back to your marriage and just forget about it? I like you, Aaron. I want to help you.
  • Aaron: Yeah, well, you're doin' a great job!
  • Rebecca: He hurt you. Like he hurt you before. Like he's hurt everyone who's ever cared about him.
  • Aaron: No, I'm different. He loves me. He married me!
  • Rebecca: Then slept with me! He told me you were over and I trusted him. Don't make the same mistake. I mean, look at me. I'm pregnant. I'm carrying his child. I'm sorry, Aaron. But there's going to be a baby here. It's going to be born and you're going to see it. You can't just ignore it.
  • Aaron: Just stay away from him! (yells, Rebecca flinches back, grabs her non existent baby bump in a dramatic gesture) I'm... I'm sorry. I... I wouldn't... I wouldn't hurt you. I wouldn't... I wouldn't hurt the... bab...
  • Rebecca: This is what he does to you. This is why we have to protect ourselves. Can you really do this? Can you stand by him, cope, when the baby's here? You came here to save your marriage. Save yourself, Aaron. Leave him.
Um... A selfie and 10 facts about me?

I was tagged by @unknown-saeranchoi… and gah, I hate taking selfies so much.

So, ummmm…. 10 facts about me……

  1. I dropped out of school at the start of my A Levels. I had only just done my GCSEs a few months before, and they were stressful enough for me…
  2. My favourite food is tomato soup! I love eating it with bread or cream crackers.
  3. I have a huge fear of puppets and marionette dolls. Because of my name being Marianne, people used to pick on me by calling me ‘Mariannette’, before putting images of creepy marionette dolls in my locker at school…
  4. I love the smell of pine disinfectant.
  5. I absolutely love watching The Amazing World of Gumball!
  6. I’m part Irish, part Scottish. 
  7. My middle name is the same as my mum’s first name - Niamh (pronounced Neeve)
  8. I have never had any pets…
  9. I’ve known my husband since I dropped out of school. He had just finished his A Levels when I left, and he recognised me from school when he first got his job, and he asked why I wasn’t actually in school. Eventually, I started working at the same place as him, and we were close friends for 5 years until this year, which is when he asked me out and eventually got married ^^
  10. I recently started wearing glasses. The whole ‘Saeran with glasses’ thing prompted me to go and have an eye test and it seems that I have actually needed glasses for a while…

I’m not going to tag anyone, but if you want to do this, go right ahead…

So I just hit 1K followers

And idk what to do. Start an army?

A year ago I started this blog and a month into it I had five followers, one of which is now one of my closest friends.
I’ve gone through a lot during this year, sometimes I’m still in hell and everything is changing. Life. Social circles. Ideas. Wants. But this blog has always been a constant. It has grown, but never become unrecognizable. It is a large piece of my heart and I never thought others would love it too.
On this website I have made friends in countries I can only dream of visiting. I’ve fallen in love books I would never have known existed without this website. I’ve put up my opinions and I’ve learned the difference between so many fine lines. And in all of this madness, I never thought, I only hoped, that 1000 people would agree enough to follow me. I never thought my posts would get hundreds of reblogs and comments when my selfies on facebook barley got ten likes. I never knew the home I would find in this community.

I’ve grown so much in life. Sometimes I grew too quickly. But this past year I haven’t just grown, I’ve flourished. I’ve dragged myself off the floor time after time, even when I thought I couldn’t. My hands are still bleeding. My knees always threaten to buckle. But I stood, because of this blog. Because of the people in my life. Because of the new friends and the old ones. I did it, at the start because five people were following me and I didn’t want to disappoint. I stand now, because those five have multiplied and suddenly the sun was shinning. Not just because of them, but they played a role.

I have never been more grateful to a book series. Because I wished on those starts when I was six years old. For mum to come home, for friends, for love, for joy. The stars gave me all of that. And then, last year, the stars gave me tumblr. The stars gave my voice a microphone. And you listened.

So here’s to more posts, gifs, memes and laughter. And maybe, a give away in the not so distant future.

Mother’s Day is coming up and this is just my small reminder to please not assume everyone still has their mother because going through Mother’s Day without your mom is already hard enough and we don’t need it to be made harder by the people who come up to us asking about what we’re planning for our moms or giving us ideas for how to make our moms happy on that day etc.

Leather Jackets - Bucky Barnes AU

Request: “Can you make a Bucky imagine in which he’s like the bad boy who is really cool and falls for y/n and is super sweet around her?” // I did it as a Greaser AU because I was listening to the Grease soundtrack while writing lol

Word Count: 1167 // My requests are still open!!


The Greasers didn’t like to be messed with. If you’re not at their level, you can’t speak to them. You go near them, you’re dead.

Pacing quickly down the sidewalk, you avoided the glare of the boys in the red Chevrolet parked across the street. A message alert on your phone made you stop, pulling your phone out of your pocket.

Steve: Just overheard that the Greasers are gonna be at the coffee shop. Be careful.

Mentally groaning in fear of anyone hearing you, you slipped into the door of the cafe, walking with your head down.

“Hi, uh, Miss? What would you like?” The barista grinned at you, as you looked up from your phone. “Sorry, can I just have a juice please?”

“What’s your name?” She asked, holding your cup in one hand and a sharpie in the other. “Y/N.” You pronounced, smiling back.

Soon enough, your name was called and you took your drink, walking out of the store.

You looked around before pushing the door open, seeing the Chevrolet had moved. Breathing a sigh of relief, you pushed the door open and began your walk home.

Going to grab your phone from your back pocket, you bumped into someone.

Feeling a hand on your back, you looked up, making direct eye contact with one of the leaders of the greaser gang, Bucky Barnes.

“I am so sorry, I really wasn’t concentrating. I should look where I’m going, sorr-” You mumbled, rambling away, “Hey, don’t worry about it. Y/N, is it?” He smiled warmly at you, “Uh, yeah, that’s me.”

“We have English together, right?” He asked, trying to making eye contact as you looked everywhere but his into his eyes.

“That we do,” you laughed nervously, “See you Monday, I guess.”

“See you Monday, Y/N.” He smiled, brushing past you as you walked back home, texting Steve about your ‘incident’.

Soon enough, Monday rolled around.

School always dragged along on a Monday. Whether it be the non existent enthusiasm from the students, or the bore of lessons from teachers paid less than they’re owed.

Grabbing your bag and heading out of the classroom, you avoided the glare of the same boys from the coffee shop stood outside your classroom.

You felt their eyes leave as you trailed outside to try and find your friends, Steve and Peggy.

Walking past the bleachers, you felt all eyes on you as hands gripped your shoulders.

“If it isn’t Little Miss Y/N.” You span around to be met with the eyes of one of Bucky’s gang, another member of the Greasers.

“H-hi?” You questioned, looking away from where he stared deeply at you, backed by two more Greasers; the rest sat on the bleachers.

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N. May I ask why this pretty little mouth of yours was talking to Barnes outside the coffee shop last night?” You looked up, horrified that anyone had seen yours and Bucky’s conversation.

“I-I didn’t mean anything by it! I bumped into hi-” He pressed a finger over your lips, his minions trailing behind you, as he whistled for more of them to come over.

You were surrounded. You’d seen this happen before, and you prayed every night that they would never do it to you.

Grabbing your bag roughly off your shoulders, you gasped as they pulled your books out one by one, until they reached your sketchbook.

“Well what do we have here? A sketchbook! Let’s have a looky here shall we?” He smirked, picking up the black book from your feet.

Flipping through your doodles and practices, you prayed they wouldn’t find your illustration of the picture Bucky had posted recently.

But they did. Just your luck.

“And it gets better! How 'bout we show this to Buck when he gets here, hey? Is that what you want, Y/N? Attention? Well, sweetheart, that’s what you’re gonna get.”

Tears began to spill down your cheeks as he cascaded the sketchbook to the ground once again, the pencil drawing looking like a watercolour.

“Now, Y/N. How 'bouts we deal with you.” He spat, getting closer to your face. Grinning, he grabbed your hair and pulled your face up to meet his eyes.

Taking a harsh slap to the face, you looked into his eyes as he laughed, “Fuck. You.” you spat.

“What was that, Y/N? Say that again.” He looked shocked, but hid it. “I said fuck you.” He looked at you again, “You’re gonna regret that Y/N.”

Taking another hit, you saw the blood hit the concrete on the other side of the book.

“Hey!” A loud voice echoed from outside their circle, as the rest of the group scattered, you sank to the floor.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doin’?” Bucky asked the boy stood opposite you, as you let more tears flow. “You know what, I don’t wanna hear it. Back off.”

Bucky kneeled in front of you, smiling softly. “Y/N?”

“Y-yeah?” You held your nose in fear of it bleeding further.

“I’m so sorry the did that to you, I promise I would never have let them if I would’ve known. Are you alright?”

“Apart from nursing a headache and this nose bleed, I’ll be okay.” You smiled back up at him, his eyes glistening as he looked at you. “Shit, you need to get to the nurse.” He looked around you at the destruction of your bag, trying to pick up your scattered books.

“Did you draw this?” He asked, awe taking over his features. “Um, yes, I did. I’m sorry, it’s lame. I just saw the picture on my feed and I needed prac-”

“Y/N, babe, this is incredible.” He grinned from ear to ear, holding the book so delicately. “T-thank you, Bucky. It means a lot.” He slung your bag over his shoulder, offering you a hand as he led you to the nurses office.

“I’m still so sorry, Y/N. Can I please take you for coffee or something to make up for it?” He asked, brushing your hair behind your ear as you held tissue to your nose.

“I don’t drink coffee, but I’m definitely always down for pizza.” You laughed, Bucky joining you. “Well, pizza it is. Are you free tonight?”

- 6 months later -

Finishing the final sentence of your last-minute homework, you shoved the books into your bag as a knock at the door snapped you out of the world of your science work.

Opening the door with a smile, you saw Bucky, donned in his leather jacket and all black outfit.

“Mornin’ baby.” He smiled, pressing a kiss to your lips as you grinned into it. “Good morning, Bucky.”

“Did you sleep okay?” He asked, interlocking his fingers with yours. “I’d sleep better if my boyfriend wouldn’t keep messaging me every five minutes!”

“Well forgive me for caring about you!” He laughed, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“You know I love you really.” You nudged him slightly as he grinned. “I love you too, doll.”

how about this:
if someone opens up to you about their mental illness(es), don’t reply with

  • “you don’t look/act like you have (disorder)” 
  • “you look so normal”
  • “I would’ve never known, you seem so happy”

how about you say

  • “I’m happy you’ve told me, if you need any help, let me know”
  • “I’m glad you trust me and told me this, ask me for help anytime you need someone”

or literally just DON’T be so ignorant

I have been the bad guy before,
I kissed a boy so broken
I could taste his heart inbetween his teeth
And took that as an invitation to spit forever down his throat
I held her hand so tight
Our bones shattered
And blamed her for letting go
I traced the scars on his wrist
Just so i could linger there long after i left
I wrote poems about her eyes
And told her i loved her as much as i believed in god
I never believed in god
I let him touch my body and promised it would always be his
And smiled into his bestfriend’s bed
I could never belong to anybody, he should have known that
I told her i’d always be there
But when the phone rang at 2 AM
I turned it off and let her talk to the answering machine instead,
I never meant it
I have scattered my ashes
Around people who claim they love me
Just to prove to them they can’t love someone like me
Just to prove to myself i can’t love anything right

-R.J//LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME//
(via @boypoetic)

A Letter to my Ex Best Friend

Sorry for any grammatical errors. I haven’t edited it yet so I’m sorry in advance lolll. But this is something very personal that I wrote today and hopefully someone else could relate. 

————-

I was going through my memory box today and a lot of stuff that involved you came up.  It brought me back to the good times and I almost texted you but then I remembered that you’re just a stranger now. It’s been a couple months since we last talked. Crazy huh? How in just a year we went from being inseperable to complete strangers. If someone had asked us a year or two ago if we could see our life without each other in it, we would have laughed and said no; Now here we are.

I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought about you or that I didn’t miss you. I do miss you, a lot. So much has happened since we last talked, and I wish I could share it all with you. There has been times where I picked up my phone to text you but then I would remember you’re not that person anymore; And it’s sad because for the longest time it seemed like you’d be that person who stayed in my life for a long while. I miss being close with your family and being able to call your home my home as well. I miss having the privilege of saying I had more than one family. It’s crazy how much can change in a short amount of time.

I hope you don’t hate me for walking away when I did. I hope one day you understand that I had to or else we would have never known just how toxic our friendship had been. There is quite a few things I know I could have done better and shouldn’t have done, same goes for you. We are both to blame for our friendship being as unhealthy as it was. Though it was so unhealthy, we shared a lot of great memories and I’d like to think it was equally good as it was bad.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry we’re not best friends anymore and I’m sorry I had to be the one to walk away. I’m sorry for any pain I caused. I’m sorry I couldn’t be your person anymore. I’m sorry we couldn’t do everything we wanted to. I’m sorry I tried to blame you for our friendship ending. I’m sorry I tried to hate you because damn did I try. I tried so hard and for awhile it worked because hating you and being mad at you was easier than missing you. But I realize that I could never hate you, no matter how mad I am about what happened. I’m sorry this is how it had to end for us, but that’s life for you. Not everything goes the way it should or how you want it to.

But I would like to thank you. Thank you for being my person for as long as you were. Thank you for being patient with me while I learned how to trust another person. Thank you for the memories I will never forget. Thank you for caring enough to break through the walls I had worked so hard to build over the years. Thank you for being the person I could run to for everything and anything. Thank you for being the person I could count on. Thank you for being the person I could confide in without the fear of judgement. Thank you for teaching me how to love and be loved. Thank you for showing me that I can still trust others and be trusted. Thank you for proving to me that people come into our lives for a reason and though they may not stay, the lessons learned are a blessing.

I would like to say I can see us being friends again in the future but I’d only be spitting out false hope. It would never be the same and if I happen to see you one day, I’ll smile and walk away. My heart will break a little and all our memories will hit me like a train but I’ll feel grateful for the time we did have together. Some people aren’t meant to stay in your life forever and unfortunately I learned you are one of those people. They say some people only come into your life to teach you a lesson and leave, but the most important people leave a mark. Well you left a mark and I am thankful for you coming into my life when you did.

I know you may never see this but I needed to get it off my chest. There were a lot of words unsaid and a lot of words I wish I could have said. I guess I’m writing this to get a small sense of closure for myself.

I hope you and your family are doing well. I hope you get everything you want and more in the life you chose for yourself.

You’ll always hold a place in my heart.

Sincerely,

Your Ex Best Friend

Lmao so like, I’m on valium right now, I’m schizophrenic and have borderline personality disorder, and I was put on valium because I had kidney stones surgically removed, now … before I had been put on this for my physical illness, I never would have been given the opportunity to try valium to treat my mental illness.

The psychiatric community fear mongers over it so much, but the valium has vastly improved my life, and if I hadn’t almost died I never would have known that there was a medication out there that could actually help me live my life easier? Isn’t that fucked up? 

They’re more afraid of the evil mentally ills getting “addicted” than fucking treating our symptoms.

Even though like, I’m literally fucking addicted to my antipsychotics, which I have to take for the rest of my life, but apparently that’s ~just not the same~

Because I always insisted on being with you during your darkest hours,
Did you think I was tired and needed sleep during light?
Why is it that you never once greeted me when the sun was shining on your flawless skin and it was time to eat your favourite meal?
I never slept, you should have known that.
The few times I tried, you shook me awake to cry another whole night.
I did not sleep and always kept tissues just for you but I also had a list of fun things we could do.
The tissues weren’t enough and you used the lists like they were just extra tissues.
So we never got around to doing the fun things; we never got around to doing anything but wiping your tears.
8

i never thought that i might actually say this one day, but I LOVE THE FINAL PROBLEM.

(calm down..i’m talking about the acd canon, not the hell that was the bbc sherlock series finale)

if this isn’t one of the most beautiful and purest  love stories ever, i don’t want to hear anything about love ever again.