this house is so freaking cool

cocked & loaded [dwayne johnson/vin diesel]

okay, so if i were to write the academy award-winning and world peace-establishing screenplay where Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson and Vin Diesel slowly fall in love, this is what it would look like:

  • vin and dwayne would be bitter Rival Agents for an intelligence agency. both would be up for a Big Promotion.  they would both be working together (but against each other) on something something black market mafia.  the mafia would be involved.  they would be VERY CLOSE to cracking this case.  
  • whoever cracks the case gets the promotion! because things like this are always very clear-cut in movies.  and whoever gets the promotion is the Better Agent, and it’s settled forever.
  • what they don’t expect is when they finally go in to make the Big Bust on The Family is that the Big Players will still be at large–and there will be a BABY.  
  • the baby will fall into agency custody, and will require surveillance in a remote safehouse.
  • “i need YOU TWO to pretend and be this baby’s GAY DADS to protect the baby and keep The Family off our tail while we close in on them,” says Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o.  
  • dwayne and vin and baby are begrudgingly moved to a suburb of provincetown, massachusetts. cut to shot of a FOR SALE sign being pulled down, a ford fusion hybrid pulling up behind a moving van.  dwayne and vin step out.  they are both wearing muscle shirts and mirror-lensed aviators.  dwayne grabs a baby bag, throws it over his shoulder.  vin grabs the car seat out of the back, and both of them walk-slow motion up the side walk to their new 800k beach house.  
  • here’s what they expect: passive aggressive co-existence for a couple of weeks, where they try to be the Better Dad in a bid for the promotion they both want.  dwayne will go jogging with the baby every morning!! vin will wear her in a sling when he goes to the farmer’s market and smiles at the vendors while feeling up avocados and selecting fresh caught filets of fish!! 
  • here’s what they don’t expect: their next door neighbors are going to be Channing Tatum and Idris Elba and their five beautiful, interracial babies.  they are the perfect Gay Family, but “also,” dwayne says, pushing vin inside from where he’s been grilling steaks and drinking MILLER out of a CAN in broad daylight for the Real Gay Family to see and call over from their patio!!! “these guys are the REAL DEAL.  they’re gonna know something’s up!  i know we’ve had our beef, but we gotta step our game up and work together if we’re gonna make this operation work.”  
  • “you’re right,” vin says.  he’s nodding, looking at a ground, but then up and meeting dwayne’s gaze. “you’re RIGHT.” they’re gonna make this partnership work!!! they are going to be the BEST GAY DADS.
    • CUT TO: vin and dwayne staring at the king sized mattress in the master bedroom.  “i can just–” vin says, but dwayne grabs him by the shoulder and shakes it playfully.  “no man,” he says. “it’s all in or nothing.” 
    • CUT TO: them jogging together with baby playfully squealing from her stroller early in the morning.  
    • CUT TO: vin playfully feeding dwayne grapes at the farmer’s market.  “it’s all or nothing,” he repeats, raising his eyebrows (???? eyebrow folds? idk man). dwayne rolls his eyes and TAKES THE BITE.  
  • CUT TO: channing tatum in monogrammed shorts and pink polo and boat shoes on their front door step with one of his many perfect, precious toddlers on his shoulders, asking them to dinner.  “uh yeah,” dwayne says, cool as a cucumber. he’s not freaking out (he’s totally freaking out!!).  “we’ll bring the wine.”
  • “we’ll bring the wine?” vin repeats, in a hushed voice so the neighbors and baby don’t hear them fighting. “do you know anything about wine? they probably have a second house in france!  i haven’t had anything that didn’t come from a box since–since ever! what were you thinking?” “i panicked!  it seemed like the right thing to say!” 
    • TIRES SCREECH as the ford focus hybrid drifts into the whole foods parking lot.  
  • they show up out of breath, foreheads glistening, with baby in her favorite babybjorn, feet kicking from the day’s excitement of wine shopping.  vin, wheezing, passes a bottle of red and a bottle of white.
    • “oh, a chateau coutet barsac,” idris says with a chuckle, showing the label to channing. “remember that time–?” and oh my GOD, they have inside jokes!! 
    • (”we don’t have any inside jokes!!” dwayne whispers when they immediately excuse themselves halfway through a tour of the house. “that’s because you are the least funny person i know!” vin replies. “god, i hate you!!!” they both probably hiss at each other.)
  • the worst and best part of the night is when they’re serving the roast veg salad, and channing says with the best intentions, “so, how did you two meet?”
    • “uh,” vin says.
    • “the gym,” dwayne says. which, actually turns out to be true.  they look at each other, smile soft and genuine for once at each other, REMEMBERING. before they were BITTER RIVALS, they met at the academy gym and were GYM BUDDIES.  they used to have FUN trying to beat each other’s PR on the treadmill, they used to LOVE shit talking each other when they spotted each other bench pressing, they used to snap towels at each other’s asses in the locker room and totally not check each other out or anything!!! and then they were both accepted to the same position at work and they stopped being friendly for whatever reason.  they stop smiling, they look away from each other.  “anyway.”
    • “we met building houses for habitat for humanity,” idris offers, because of COURSE THEY DID.
  • the second worst part of the night is when channing mentions during the dessert course that two weeks from now is the annual May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, and maybe dwayne and vin would like to host to get to know everyone else in the neighborhood! 
  • vin has had like, three more glasses of wine than everyone else, and with aid of liquid confidence, shrugs his shoulders and leans back in his chair and says, “yeah, man, we’d love to.”
    • “’yeah, man, we’d love to?’” dwayne repeats when they’re walking home, baby asleep in her bjorn. 
    • “sorry, did you want me to give ourselves away? what happened to being the best? we’re trying to be believable!” 
    • “yeah,” dwayne says, watching vin strip off his shirt and pants and toss them over his shoulder into their spare hamper before crawling into their bed.  it’s routine.  they both have their sides of the bed.  “believable.”
    • the bedroom is quiet as they face away from each other at the edges of the mattress.  eventually dwayne asks, “do you remember why we stopped being friends?”
    • for a second he thinks maybe vin’s gone to sleep.  but he turns over.  “no,” he says.  “or yeah, maybe. as soon as i realized we would both be seeing action, it became too much of a risk.  friendship.  it was easier to lose you as a friend on my terms than lose you as a friend because you got your dumbass killed.”
    • they decide to be friends again.  you know, for the baby.  for work. whatever.  
  • they get so caught up in planning the May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, making inside jokes and ignoring the increasing casual physical intimacy between them that they don’t realize they are BEING WATCHED.
  • the mafia is HERE and they want their BABY and they want dwayne and vin DEAD.  
  • the M.D.H.N.B.P.C.C happens and everything is going according to plan, and they are about to have dwayne judge the bisque portion of the competition, but no one has seen dwayne anywhere!!!!
  • are there warehouses in provincetown??? is there a bad part of provincetown??? anyways, that’s probably where the mafia took dwayne.  vin is FREAKING OUT, how does he save dwayne??? how does he protect the baby, who they are using dwayne as ransom for??? who will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookoff???
  • idris puts a hand on his shoulder.  he’s been watching the entire time.  “i’ll take the baby into our panic room–” OF COURSE THEY HAVE A PANIC ROOM, “and channing will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookofff.  you go save your man.”
  • CUT TO: vin getting geared up to go out and kick some mafia ass, entering their walk-in closet and grabbing GUNS and a BULLET PROOF VEST and lacing up his L.L BEAN MEN’S GORETEX LEATHER BOOTS.  
  • vin takes out the entire warehouse-or-whatever of mafia lackeys and comes across dwayne tied up and blindfolded.
  • “who’s there!” dwayne demands, like he’s ready to fight despite himself.  vin takes three strong steps forward and grabs him by the back of the head and pulls him in for a kiss.  “guess who,” he replies.  dwayne smiles.
  • just then the Final Boss shows up as dwayne is being untied and like, something dramatic happens or whatever, but it’s okay.  they die or go to jail or something, it doesn’t really matter, because dwayne and vin are in LOVE and they’re gonna adopt the hell out of that baby.
  • CUT TO: a month later.  Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o is disappointed when vin won’t accept his promotion.  
  • “i would,” he says, heavily decorated for saving dwayne in the field and taking down the mafia family.  “but the code of conduct says that it would be a conflict of interest if i was my husband’s supervisor.” BAM! THE END.  THEY’RE MARRIED.  WORLD PEACE UNLOCKED.   DONALD TRUMP IMPEACHED.  EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

capricorn women are my favorite type of people. goddess, i just love them. they have this majestic air of efficiency, maturity, grace, and composure. it’s like they have just walked from a storm with their heels still in tact and their dignity in one piece. they are warm people who watch over me from atop the midheaven star, smiling down and encouraging others from the 10th house throne. they are cool and kind, and there is not so much of the tyrannical control freak they are associated with. princess kate, michelle obama, debbie allen. gush. behind every successful man is a capricorn woman 

What would a open mic night standup in ML Paris look like? Can you even fathom how hilarious that would be? Just a handful of comics cracking jokes about what traveling abroad is like.

Comedian: “The stereotypes against the french are just out of control now. Everyone expects me to be wearing a beret and eating snails and that’s not fair. But you know, you have to hand it to them, there is a pretty sure fire way to know if someone is french now even from a distance. Because if we see a butterfly we will freaking scream.” 

I love the character specific ones, like Nino gets sorta well known in the comedy circuit when he’s a little older and he’s up there, smiling and interrupts his own jokes half the time with laughing, but his timing is impeccable. 

Nino: “So, super villains.” *the crowd waits for him to say more, but he shrugs as if the sentence needs nothing else, and laughter picks up. He’s grinning before he ‘sobers up’.* “Bad news, obviously. Probably. But, I can’t be the only jaded guy out there right? Like, am I not the only one who hears ‘MONSTER!!!’ and asks without looking up from my phone like, ‘Well, where? Like here?’” *crowds starts laughing and Nino pantomimes texting. “’Cause like, if it’s not on this block man, I was gonna order in probably.’” *laughter continues. Nino waits for a second nodding and smiling. “Have I put a pizzaman through hell by ordering two large pizzas in the middle of a warzone?” *nods* “Yes. Yes i have. Those guys are the real heroes.” *crowd laughs and he chuckles, taking his own queue to get back on topic. He readjusts the mic stand, feigning apprehension.* “So yeah. Super villains, bad news. Some more than others, and like, don’t get me wrong! It’s bad, but, come one. Everyone is a little curious what their super villain is. JUST A LITTLE.” *he calls over the laughter of the crowd, making them laugh even harder. He holds up his free hand that isnt dedicated to the microphone like hes placating them.* “I’m not saying that’s cool! I’m saying that’s the way it is. Paris is a weird freaking place now, gotta take those changes in stride. And for some of us, we already know, right? Got any other akumas in the house? *he waits, listening for the three or four cheers from different parts of the room* “Respect! Alright, so I’ve got something to ask, now that we’ve got that out in the open.” *he pauses, gesturing a little and looking around, building the tension* “Be real with me… But, come on. Was anyone else just a little disappointed?” *the crowd freaking explodes. Nino waits and tries to start again but he starts laughing too, and eventually has to raise his voice to be heard over the crowd.* “I mean, come on! You’re already striping me of my free will, now I don’t even get to pretend in the back of my head that maybe I looked super cool? I mean listen, we’ve all had our moments but, please appreciate the fact that I now have to live with the fact that my ‘dark’ alter ego is a bubble wielding super clown. Really, Hawkmoth? I don’t even get that much?” *Nino lets the laughter ride out, shaking his head and pacing the stage, chuckling to himself. In a slightly quieter voice he says* “Paris is weird man.” *slight laughter* “It is, it really is. But I grew up here you know, I remember the ‘pre-butterfly douchebag days. How weird is it? For the people who move here? Like when they pack their bags, hop on a train, get all moved in then BOOM” *Nino makes a large explosion with his hands* “Huge explosion! Shakes the earth! Fire down the side streets, evil cackling in the air, and they are seized with terror only to realize” *he pauses, turning full circle on the stage before shrugging* “No one cares. Everyone looks up, sure, they’re checking where it’s at but the people of Paris have got the calm and orderly exit thing down, it’s been years we are used to it. We’re just like ‘Oh, wow thats a rather big one isn’t it? Huh, anyways-’ Yeah no one cares. Unless it’s Mister Pigeon.” *huge laugh, a few foreign looking people look confused and Nino chuckles* “For those of you with an intact survival instinct and dont live here, it’s worth explaining. That this city has, twice, been taken over by a mad, pigeon wielding bad guy. TWICE. This is some real shit. People respect pigeons now, I will pay you to find one native citizen who still has the balls to kick at a pigeon. ONE.” 


and so on and so forth, with such famous bits as ‘Cat Noir makes a shitty roommate’ ‘Best Man at a superhero wedding doesnt really make you feel like the best man’ and ‘The Bubbler II: Return of the Super Clown (God Damnit)’

ok no i cracked it… season 6 of house of cards. frank has died in a freak accident and claire is now the president. oh wait i never finished s5 so i just looked up claire on the hoc wiki and apparently frank resigned and claire just is president now? ok cool. starting this post over.

SO claire underwood is the president and frank is dead bc she killed him and made it look like an accident. anyway her approval ratings are in the toilet because everybody thinks she killed frank because she DID kill frank and her advisors are like… we need to soften your image… so she decides to adopt a child… thinking hey if i adopt an older kid i can just send him to boarding school and it’s not THAT much work… so she hits up social services and interviews some kids and meets finn wolfhard who is a fourteen-year-old machiavellian mastermind child genius and they instantly hit it off and instead of shipping him off to andover she keeps him around in the white house as a secret advisor… but little does she know that finn wolfhard is using his new position as the president’s son to uncover the truth behind the underwoods’ nefarious plots and blackmail claire into letting HIM be the de facto president… 

anonymous asked:

ned is such a Soft Boy but dont mess w peter bc everyone knows he will not hesitate to punch a transphobe in the face for His Boy

peter coming out as trans at a young age (around age 7) and it kinda causes an uproar among peter’s friend group and their parents, bc suddenly there are parents accusing may and ben of not being good guardians.

and when they find out that may and ben are putting peter on blockers they say “that child is too young to know what they want” and get furious when may and ben reply with “if a child is old enough to know they’re cisgender then they’re old enough to know they’re transgender”

and some kids at school begin to tease peter a bit, saying shit like “my mom and dad told me that your aunt and uncle are crazy, and that you are too” or they begin to call him trans slurs, and may and ben hate that those kids didn’t know what those slurs were a few weeks ago, and that their parents taught them what they think peter should be called

and one day peter is sitting at lunch alone and flash walks up and begins calling peter names, and peter tries to ignore him. but he’s already having a bad day (he only got an A- on his math test instead of an A+) and he’s just a kid, and he begins to cry. and that only makes flash laugh. peter is hoping that some teachers will come aid him, but they don’t, they never do. so he just sits there as flash and his goons continue to snickers, and he tries to get his tears under control so he doesn’t encourage flash more.

but then suddenly flash is being shoved by ned leeds, that quiet dude in his class who never talks much. peter doesn’t know him very well, but he never thought ned would be the kind of guy to stand up for him. or even try to know him.

and flash swears at ned, but ned just punches flash and tells him in a really low voice to “leave peter alone” and that…. just shakes peter. nobody besides his aunt and uncle have called him peter yet, everyone else deadnames him. it’s almost surreal to be hearing somebody else call him peter, especially someone he’s never really spoken to.

some teachers come over and pull ned away from flash (because of course they’ll defend flash even though peter was just loudly being bullied by him), and ned throws an apologetic glance over his shoulder as he’s escorted to the principals office. flash glares at peter and goes back to his own table in the cafeteria. and peter waits a few moments, picks at his food thoughtfully, before he gets up to go sit outside of the principals office.

he waits outside the office for about twenty minutes, not really caring that he’s missing his history lesson, and then finally the door opens and ned walks out with his head hung low. he’s holding a dark pink letter, something people only get when they’ve gotten a detention.

ned startles when he sees peter and then sheepishly fiddles with the letter, kind of afraid that peter might be mad with him. peter worries ned in turn might be upset too.

“i’m sorry,” they both say, before looking confusedly at each other

“why are you sorry?” peter asks quietly, standing up from the bench he’d been sitting on

“i made a big scene, i’m sorry about that,” ned sighs. his voice is smooth and soft, much different than how it sounded when he was talking to flash.

peter blushes then sighs. “i should be the one saying sorry, i’m the reason you got detention and – ”

“no!” ned says angrily. “you didn’t do anything, flash is the reason i got detention! he needs to stop bullying you!”

peter looks down and kicks at nothing in particular. he needs to retie one of his shoes. “yeah… i dunno, i’m beginning to wonder if they’re right about me. maybe i am just a freak.”

ned walks close to him, and peter flinches, but all ned does is hug him. ned is much bigger and taller than him, everyone kinda is, and they usually use that advantage to be cruel. but all ned does is hug him. and peter just kinda wants to crumble. he gets this kind of affection from may and ben all the time, but he’d missed having it from others. he had felt so alone since he came out that he had started to forget how it felt to have a friend.

“you aren’t a freak,” ned whispers. “you’re so cool! and smart! they’re just stupid, peter, they’re really dumb!!”

peter doesn’t know what to say really, so he doesn’t say anything. he just whispers a shy “thank you” back. ned hugs him for a bit longer and then finally pulls back. peter doesn’t want this to stop, maybe he’s being greedy but he wants ned to be around him always. suddenly he feels addicted to ned’s company, despite only having it for 10 minutes or so.

“school’s almost over,” peter says shyly. “do you wanna come over to my house and play legos? i know they aren’t very – ”

“legos!!” ned says, his eyes going big and a silly smile breaking across his face. his voice cracks lightly, the early stages of puberty beginning to creep over him. “i love legos!!”

“really?” peter says, beginning to bounce on the balls of his feet. he’s so happy.

“yeah!! and model planes too!”

“my uncle builds those!! and those neat ships in bottles!!”

they both begin gabbing about building legos and ships and planes as they walk outside of the school. peter introduces ned to may when she picks peter up from school, and ned calls his mom to say that he’s going over to a friend’s house (making sure to let may speak to his mom first). peter likes where this is going, he likes the way this day has gone and he hopes it’s the first of many days that he will see ned leeds.

Bts reaction to your period being late.

Anonymous said:Can i get a bts reaction to you saying your late on your period (pregnancy scare) thnx.  

FOLLOW, LIKE, REBLOG, REQUEST ARE CLOSED.


Namjoon: He’s angry, scared, and confused. But not at you though. He’s angry because he is scared and confused and have no clue what to do. All he can do is wait and see the outcome of the situation.

Originally posted by slapmon

Yoongi: You didn’t know how to ask to speak with him alone. You didn’t want everyone to think something was up or it to be awkward. So you texted him about the problem you were having. He definitely didn’t know how to respond through text messages.

Originally posted by mygsult

Hoseok: “Okay” is all he has to say……..cause he know exactly why your late. Boy you done fucked up.

Originally posted by yourpinkpill

Jin: He’s chill and cool about it (Lowkey freaking the fuck out but umm). “Well I’m pretty sure it’s nothing, I heard they can be really unsustainable sometimes”

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Jimin: He knew something was up, you’ve been avoiding him all week. He decided to make a trip to your house. Well you weren’t there, so one of your parents let him in and he waited for your return. While there, not to be nosey, he was just casually taking a piss, when he seen pregnancy test sticks in the trashcan.

Originally posted by ciutae

Taehyung: He’s all ears, but honestly trying to remember if he was wrapped up last time.

Originally posted by cutae-hyungie

Jungkook: *Her period has to come, it’s just most likely late, yeah, that’s it. My adult life just started……..Should I say something to them about it?……….nah, they’ll kick my ass*

Originally posted by buy-me-jams

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Okay, but like imagine ten-year old Sam coming home one day in some uniform and being like “Dad, Dean, I joined Boy Scouts at school.” And Dean and John are part amused part bemused like “Why the fuck do you wanna join Boy Scouts, Sammy, you’ve got more survival skills than all of them combined, including the teacher.” And Sam just rolls his eyes and starts packing his bag and is super exasperated like “Duh, that’s exactly why. They’re staying at this camping ground a few miles out and all the older boys are scaring the younger kids and telling them Cabin 13 is haunted n’ that they should go and investigate. Someone’s gotta look out for those dumbass amateurs. Hey, where’s the iron poker?” And John and Dean are this close to telling him the hell he’s going alone and little Sammy marches to the front door and holds up his hand all sassy like “I got this one, guys, I’ll call you when it’s done. Also Dad, I forged your signature on the admissions slip,” and John doesn’t know whether or not to be impressed and Dean’s like “Sammy, you don’t even own a phone!”

And of course they follow him and camp out far enough with binoculars so Sam doesn’t notice them and they’re kinda proud because Sam asks the older kids the serious questions and tries to get as much info about the history of the place and he writes it in a journal just like John’s. Then two nights later Sam follows a bunch of kids to Cabin 13 and Dean and John follow Sam, when the ghost starts attacking the kids and Sam fights it off with the iron poker and tells them to run and John and Dean are freaking out because Sammy’s run inside the cabin with a vengeful spirit. But then five seconds later the doors and this ten-year old hunter is walking out and talking to a ghost kid who’s crying and Sam’s all like “Look, I know you wanna play but kids these days just don’t understand, okay? Also frightening people like that is totally not cool, man. So let’s just get your bones and get you outta that house. No more cabin fever for you. Dean and my dad leave me alone all the time and it drives me crazy so trust me, kid, I know how you feel.”

And then John is mad and afraid like what the fuck, Sammy, don’t talk to it, and Dean has to hold him back and let Sammy finish working the case because he knows how proud of himself Sam is gonna be and that he’ll want to tell them all about it like look, I did this all by myself, so he manages to drag John far away long enough for Sam to salt and burn the bones and wish his new ghost friend goodbye. Then they hightail it back to the motel and pretend like nothing happened and the next day and they’re watching TV and cleaning out their guns when Sam calls Dean using a payphone to tell them “It’s done. Can you pick me up?” and so Dean and John drive all the way back and Sammy hops into the back and they’re both so proud of him when five seconds later he bursts into tears and John nearly swerves off the road when Sam climbs into the front seat and cries because “I was soooo scaaaared! Deeeean!”

And Dean and John just look at each other and smile and Dean just holds Sammy until he passes out and that night they have pizza and soda and pie and celebrate Sam’s first solo hunt.

3

GOT7 Invited To The Cookout

When they arrived, they were automatically lit just like they said they would be. you were surprised, because you thought they that would be scared to show their true colors in front of all these people.

“y/n!” they hopped out of the truck and ran over to you.

they pulled you in the center and group hugged you in front of everyone. “stop embarrassing me!” you shouted.

you backed away from them and fixed your clothes. then, you checked out each of their outfits. they looked good, so you told them which only gassed them up.

a few minutes later, everyone except yugyeom was spread out talking to your people. he was kind of shy so he decided to stick around with you.

“this is my song.” his eyes widened when a Chris brown song started to play.

“then dance. my cousins would love it if you showed their uncoordinated asses how to dance.” you started to call for your cousins to come over.

“no no no no!” he semi whispered to you and when they started to come over, he froze.

“yeah?” they said in unison.

“take him…and dance. he said this is his song and don’t y'all like this song?” you asked them.

“you know we do cuz!” one of them started dancing…off beat.

yugyeom held in his laughter and looked down at you. “you were right.” he said in korean causing the several young kids in front of you to freak.

“what did he just say?”

“he said that you all look cool.” you lied.

“alright tall asian guy, come show us what you got.” they took him away.

“alright…” you said to yourself. you scanned the huge crowd of people in your backyard until you spotted jackson and mark going into your house. you decided to quietly follow behind them and see what they were up to.

once they got to the kitchen, they stopped. “i’m so hungry. you think y/n’s got any snacks?” jackson asked mark.

“you know her fat ass has snacks!” mark nudged him and looked around until he spotted you.

“pstt.” he signaled for jackson to turn around and once he did, his jaw drooped. “you didn’t hear that did you?”

“i did.” you pretended to cry.

“oh noo…! we’re sorry.” mark ran over to you and pulled you into a hug, jackson quickly following.

“fuck off!” you pushed them off of you and covered your laughing face. “and you’re at a cookout! why the hell are y'all looking for snacks?!”

“we haven’t eaten in hours.” jackson pouted.

you shook your head and told them to follow you to your room where you hid your snacks. “don’t tell the others about this or i’ll kill you both.”

“yeah yeah yeah..” mark said with a mouth full of chips.

“i love you y/n. you keep me fed girl.” jackson bit his honey bun and pretended to wipe a fake tear.

“hey i love her to!” mark scoffed at jackson.

“there’s enough of me to go around.” you stuck out your tongue and stood up. “let’s go…the boys must be looking for us by now.”

the three of you exited the house and went back to doing random things with random people in your backyard. that is until, you saw bambam and left them for him. he was being lit with the elder people.

“what’s that? ain’t that thing the dab?” your half drunk uncle asked him.

“yes! can you do it?!” bam asked him, almost falling out of his seat.

he got up just in time to dab when the beat dropped, earning him an audience. mostly everyone except those who were tending to the grills and the women in the kitchen.

“what the hell.” jaebum said while he and jinyoung stood on each side of you.

“i know, now he’s got my whole family dabbing. shit we’re probably gonna take a family picture where everyone has to be dabbing in it now.” you face palmed yourself since what you said wasn’t a joke and most likely a fact.

you walked away from the crowd looked around for youngjae. he had greeted you when he first got here but that was the last time you saw him. you were getting a little worried until you found him.

he was at the cotton candy machine with one of your aunts that went to church everyday of the week even if it wasn’t open, singing along to a gospel song that you had no idea he knew with her.

“y/n why didn’t you tell me you had friends that could sing? his voice…is soulful.” she placed her hand on his shoulder and complimented him a thousand times on his voice. he damn sure needed them, his self esteem was so damn low.

“hello to you to a/n.” you hugged her and took a cotton candy stick from the cart. “i was just checking on you jae.”

“alright thanks for caring about me y/n, i love you.” he hugged you and kissed the top of your head.

“oohh imma tell your momma! you get down like that?” your aunt put her hand on her hip and smirked at youngjae and you.

“it’s not what it looks like..seriously. it’s always like this…with all of them cause i’m like their little sister.” you defended yourself.

“she’s right.” youngjae said while he put his hand on top of your head.

“mhmm.” she said while squinting her eyes, she wasn’t gonna believe you.

then, she pulled her phone out and turned to another gospel song. “you know this one baby?” she put the phone close to youngjae’s ear.

“yes ma'am.” he said right before he started singing the song.

it was your cue to go.

“yugy yummy!” you shouted over at the ‘tall asian guy’ who seemed to be more comfortable around your cousins than he was earlier.

he high fived every single kid which took about two minutes before coming over to you.

“yeah?” he put his hands on his hips and looked down at you.

“you’re having fun?” you asked him.

“yeah, thanks for pushing me out of my comfort zone.” he lifted one side of your hair up and let it fall which made you giggle.

“your comfort zone? what comfort zone did i push you out of?” you asked.

“you know…i like being under you.” he swayed from side to side, something he always did when he got tired of standing.

“the food is ready!” someone yelled.

you grabbed yugyeom’s hand and rushed past people to the food. “you’re that hungry?” he asked.

“no but you’ll thank me for this later.” with as many cookouts that you’ve been to, you knew that when the food was ready, you had to go. if you weren’t quick enough, something good would be gone.

after you fixed both yugyeom’s and your plate, you headed to your room where you told the others to meet you.

“y/n there was no more soda.” bambam frowned.

“yeah, seriously those people know how to drink.” jaebum shook his head.

“i’m thirsty!” jackson exclaimed.

“alright i’ll be back, and don’t touch my food.”

you went to the kitchen and took out a kool-aid packet and sugar. you grabbed a pitcher from the cabinet and did what you usually did. you were the one who made the kool-aid at dinner time cause yours was the best. hopefully, the boys would like it.

“y/n..” yugyeom’s shy voice replaced the silence.

“ye-” you paused when he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled himself closer to you. “yugyeom…what are you doing?”

“shh.” he rested his chin on your shoulder and closed his eyes. “just continue doing what you were doing.”

you were froze, still processing what was going on. it took you about a whole minute to realize that you weren’t dreaming and that this was really happening. he wasn’t moving, the only time he moved was when he tightened his grip on you.

“you’re weird yugyeom.” you continued stirring.

“i’m weird for liking you?” he basically confessed.

“what? you like me? is this a joke? are y'all playing truth or dare or something?” you put the cap on the pitcher and wiggled out of his hold.

“no…why would i joke around and say that i like you y/n? i…really like you.” you grabbed eight plastic cups and handed yugyeom the pitcher.

“alright..since when?” you asked.

“i’m not saying all of that until you tell me how you feel about me.” he bit down on his lip, hoping that you would say that you like him too.

you took in a deep breath. now was your turn to confess. it couldn’t be too weird now…since he feels the same way.

“i like you too.” you finally said it.

yugyeom looked down and attempted to hide his broad smile. he must’ve forgotten that you were shorter than him, so you saw all of his blushing when you looked up.

“did you tell her?” you heard jinyoung ‘quietly’ ask yugyeom which made your jaw drop.

“y'all knew?” you pointed between yugyeom and you.

“i mean..y'all are fucking obvious.” mark said.

“yugyeom was literally staring at your ass the other day and you knew it but you didn’t say anything becau-”

“yeah okay anyways i brought something to drink!” you cut jackson off.

you handed everyone a cup and poured them their drinks, including yourself. you sat between yugyeom and youngjae while they chugged their drinks down..well all of them did.

“y/n tell me what this is so i can buy it and drink it for the rest of my life.” jinyoung said while he moaned into his cup.

“this is so sweet and you know i love my sugar y/n what is this?!” bambam added on to jinyoung’s question.

“it’s called kool-aid and i made it.” you said with pride.

“no you didn’t. you can’t even make a sandwich.” jaebum laughed…by himself.

“why are you like this hyung?” yugyeom asked him.

“hmm this’ll be your last time drinking it jaebum. i was gonna bring some to the dorm faithfully but you fucked it up.” you shrugged.

“fuck!” mark cursed and slammed his hand on the floor. everyone else but jaebum followed.

“okay okay im sorry. y/n please bring your sweet juices to dee dorm faithfully.” he apologized and bowed down before you.

“alright peasant.” you giggled.

the eight of you finished up your food and drinks then, headed back outside to enjoy the last hour of the cookout.

in overall the boys had fun and found their new favorite drink thanks to you. you and yugyeom started dating. and bambam is still dabbing.

Underrated groups as things we can sleep on

yeah.

You knows those ideas you get when you are questioning the existence of the universe while in bed at 3 am… This was one from those times.

I still find this funny af, so I couldn’t help but put this idea on here. I hope it’s original ahah, if not… Don’t sue me. plz.

Another reason why I’m posting this is to make the whole world realise how stupidly dense they are for neglecting all those underrated yet, amazingly talented beings. Enjoy!

_______________________________________________________________________

PENTAGON  -  School desk

- You sleep partially on it (#You say you stan Pentagon but you can only differentiate Hui and E’dawn and you don’t even know the others members name you piece of dense shits)

- You deeply hate sleeping on it, but something you just can’t help it.

- Everyone is silently judging you for sleeping there.

- Stop sleeping and listen, lazyhead

Originally posted by organicdawn

KNK - Tree house (lol)

- IDK honestly, they are so freaking tall

- Tbh, why would you sleep there?

- Everyone tells you it’s stupid sleeping there, but you just don’t listen, do you?

- Lowkey wants to sleep there.

Originally posted by knkbias

stan knk, stan weirdos.

ToppDogg - Tent

- Sleeping on it is considered a life pleasure for some. (Demonic people tbh)

- You don’t sleep in it all the time. (Like when a member is on produce 101 you suddenly become a ToppKlass and when a member mention wanting to harm himself you feel worried and all wow)

- You think sleeping in it is cool (#its not)

Originally posted by sangdoldol

the dualty of me watching ToppDogg and being sad for then not being love enough but still feeling extremely proud of my boys.

B.I.G - Lazy boy


- Even your grandpa slept on it.

- Sleeping on this IS NOT COOL AND TRENDY, NEVER BEEN, NEVER WILL, period.

- Comfiest shit ever, apparently

- You wish you could stop sleeping on this, but it’s just impossible

- “old but gold” (2014)

Originally posted by leegunmingroove

They litteraly are so cool, cute and perfectasdlkflasdfalsdfhaljhdsf

Blanc7 - I tech bed

- You are probably googling this right now

-Sleep on it once, never waking up again

-You know that your life will be brighter if you stop sleeping on it but, you don’t even want to try

-fancy

Originally posted by kwonhohsi

this is 332842340y2341 times cooler than me (BTW they all have an instagram account, so go on and bless you eyes with those beautiful people)

SF9 - The flowery bed everyone has in their attic

- You are soso close to finally wake up from your neglecting sleep

- Cute on the outside, a mess inside

- You just need a bit more money or time to stop (to buy cds or watch their perfomances)

-Everyone slept on it at least once, and the moment they stopped, they never regretted it.

Originally posted by softseong

The S in sf9 stands for Sexy and the F for Fucking extra

Chocolate Pudding and Swear Words

It’s been a year.

It’s finally been a whole, painstaking year, and now Eleven is finally free.

That morning, she darts out of bed at 6:50 on the dot, grabbing the stack of clothes she’d laid out the night before and slamming them down on the bed. She dresses quickly, no need to shower as she’d taken one the night before.

 After she’s haphazardly thrown on her jeans, long sleeve shirt with the little flowers, and a flannel for warmth, she stops at the mirror over her dresser. She huffs at the condition of her hair, grabbing her brush and running it through her brown curls. Grabbing the spray Nancy gave her to help keep it smooth, she puffs a few sprays into her locks, then flattens the particularly unruly strands with her palms.

Keep reading

Luhan Boyfriend Material

Originally posted by lusass


OUT OF BED:

  • so much skinship
  • like hand holding, cuddles, kisses, random makeout sessions, the whole shebang literally all the time
  • sUPER possessive of you
  • becomes jealous very easily
  • “who’s that Y/N”
  • “Literally I have no idea Luhan, he’s just some random guy who passed us in the street.”
  • “He gave us a weird look… he gave you a weird look.”
  • “Luhan….”
  • “I’m pretty sure I saw him wink too”
  • “You know there’s this thing called blinking right?
  • “…….”
  • holding onto your hand tighter or pulling you closer whenever you visited him on set
  • leaving marks on you all the time just to make it known you were taken
  • and for other reasons too… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • he would push you to try new things
  • take you on dates simply to go exploring
  • most of the time you guys would just end up walking around the city lost but…
  • it’d be cool though because he would take the lead… and the blame
  • sometimes you would find some really cool abandoned buildings though
  • and maybe go stargazing
  • lazy dates would be frequent too
  • sometimes he would just randomly show up at your house with movies
  • he might fall asleep on you half way through the movie or if its a sad one tear up a little, but u would be warm from cuddling so it would be ite

Originally posted by ballaydeer

In Bed:

  • ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • sex sex sex sex
  • literally its all he thinks about
  • he may appear calm in public or when he meets your friends or family…. but he is a FREAK in the sheets
  • kinks galore
  • you guys would probs have sex at least once a day usually 2-3 times a day when he didn’t have to travel
  • and boy when he did have to travel…
  • be prepared to not leave the bedroom for a couple days before he leaves and for a couple days after he returns
  • you gotta make up for lost time right?
  • at least 5 out of the 7 days of the week you would be tied up, blindfolded or dressed in an interesting manner or get pounded against the wall or headboard
  • he may seem skinny… but he sure packs a punch
  • when would you neck not be covered in bruises or pink marks
  • you skin around your hip bones would always be covered in scratch marks and bruises
  • he seems like the submissive type right? with his feminine looks and petiteish frame…
  • oh honey… what treat you’ll be in for…


lollllllll so Admin A and I kinda skipped two days posting sorryyyyy. Anyways this is a new thing I’m kinda testing out to see how u guys like it. I’m thinking of possibly doing it for other members and other groups too idk yet tho 

~Admin S

anonymous asked:

hello! what harry potter houses would you place the wanna one members in and what type of students would they be? thanks in advance!

Jisung
House: hufflepuff 
Patronus: mongoose  
Favorite Class: apparition 
Type of Student: is outgoing and silly, which makes people initially assume he’s a gryffindor, but he has such a humble and selfless nature that he’s become the most popular upperclassman in hufflepuff. is so sociable, he has friends in all four houses. likes apparition because he’ll do the thing where he pops up out of nowhere to scare woojin or daehwi. 

Sungwoon 
House: gryffindor 
Patronus: sparrow 
Favorite Class: muggle music 
Type of Student: is hardworking and dedicated, but has a strong will to be the best. likes to spend time doing physical magic that involves your body, not a big charms or potions guy. muggle music is his favorite not because of the instruments, but because of the dancing. was recruited by the professors to help teach others to dance for the yule ball. 

Minhyun
House: ravenclaw 
Patronus: mare  
Favorite Class: potions 
Type of Student: super sweet and reliable, but is also into some weird hobbies like tarot card reading and ancient ruin magic. wants to know everything there is too know about potions, overwhelms the teacher just a bit. is really nice and shows care for underclassman, but he’s also competitive and smiles to himself when he sees he placed first in his class. (but also apologizes to the house ghost like everyday for forgetting to greet them in the morning, what an interesting boy) 

Seongwoo
House: gryffindor 
Patronus:  chimpanzee 
Favorite Class: defense against the dark arts 
Type of Student: the sorting hat wanted to put him into slytherin because seongwoo is greAT at coming up with good plans and schemes, but his personality just yells gryffindor. is a beater for the quidditch team and keeps trying to get the defense against the dark arts teacher to tell him about forbidden curses. which,,,,,,,is not going to happen.

Jaehwan
House: ravenclaw 
Patronus: magpie 
Favorite Class: frog choir 
Type of Student: really intelligent and capable of becoming a great wizard, but he’s much more interested in his musical talent. has learned over 200 different songs, all in different languages, from different wizarding schools and sects from around the world. wants to get the school to fund a band aside from frog choir, keeps trying to bribe seongwoo with food for him to be the bands drummer. 

Daniel
House: hufflepuff 
Patronus: hammer-head shark 
Favorite Class: care of magical creatures 
Type of Student: is the pride and joy of hufflepuff’s quidditch team because they’ve never had such a good seeker in the history of their house. but amazingly, daniel gets super shy when complimented. has love letters from people in all four houses. people think his favorite subject is flying or dark arts, but he loves animals a lot and owns like three copies of fantastic beasts and where to find them. 

Jihoon
House: slytherin 
Patronus: salamander 
Favorite Class: astronomy 
Type of Student: relatively day-dreamy in class, always has something cute pinned to his robes, and is a pretty big deal with the local press that visit hogwarts because,,,,,,visual? visual. he likes astronomy because he thinks the stars and outer space is fascinating and probably reads horoscopes at breakfast even though everyone tells him that stuffs fake. people jokingly say he really doesn’t give off a slytherin vibe but he’s the best kept person on campus, with a resourcefulness that sometimes beats daehwi’s. 

Woojin
House: gryffindor 
Patronus: brown hare 
Favorite Class: transfiguration 
Type of Student: is actually rather talented at dueling with a wand, he can easily catch on to charms and spells, but for some reason he likes to be a class clown along with jisung. he does have a really high interest in human transfiguration, since he isn’t a metamorphmagus, he studies and practices really hard to get the spell down. jisung asked him once why he wanted to learn it so bad and woojin was like so i can transform into minhyun and see what its like to look like that for a day LOL. 

Jinyoung
House: slytherin 
Patronus: boomslang snake 
Favorite Class: alchemy 
Type of Student: likes to read and spend time in the library, but his choice of material is always quite odd. he thinks slytherin has the most interesting background and therefore has read almost EVERYTHING there is on its history, his personal favorite wizard is Merlin who was also a slytherin so jinyoung was actually super stocked about being sorted into the same house. he likes alchemy because it’s a close study of the elements of nature which is fundamentally where magic comes from. someone once teased him for it, but ever since it got out that his patronus was a literal venomous snake, people have backed off. 

Daehwi
House: slytherin 
Patronus: jaguar 
Favorite Class: charms 
Type of Student: even at such a young age, he’s already become a registered animagus, able to turn into a jaguar which is also his patronus. his love of charms comes from the infinite amounts of ones to learn and perfect, and he dabbles in creating ones of his own. is highly praised by the teachers and people believe he’s going to be on his way to becoming a member of the ministry of magic soon enough. does a lot of flashy charms in the courtyard just because he can. 

Guan Lin
House: slytherin 
Patronus: orca 
Favorite Class: divination 
Type of Student: is a big fan of non-verbal magic and so you’ll never see him actually taking notes. he’ll just wave his wand around and put his head down for a nap while his quill does the rest. is from a pure-blood family who has been a staple of the slytherin house for years but he doesn’t show it off in the least. everyone thinks his patronus is freaking awesome like an orca??? how cool and guan lin is just like “it’s gigantic. i wish it was a gold fish or something.” 

9 Dylan O'Brien quotes that made me love him

  1. I didn’t have that many friends my first few years of high school. It was very cliquey and I’m super shy, so it was hard to make friends.
  2. I’d like to get into some sort of workout regimen so I can properly be healthy and exercise like a normal human being. I seem to not do that… ever.
  3. A girl in my Spanish class found my YouTube videos and showed them to my teacher. At the end of class one day my teacher said, “pack up, movie time,” and she dropped down this screen and put on my videos. I started freaking out. Everyone was laughing and I just ran out.
  4. I just really like fun, cool, interesting, quirky girls. And sometimes you find that in 6’2 model bodies and sometimes they’re short and brunette. All shapes and sizes – it’s really about the personality. That sounds cliche, but it’s so freaking true!
  5. Oh my god, so many geeky things about me. Generally geeky, I mean I geek out about baseball. My two favorite things are baseball and The X-Factor. I don’t know. I’m a huge Star Wars geek, I’m a huge everything geek.
  6. One time I stood outside of a girl’s house with a rose in my mouth, like between my teeth. It was obviously a joke and was supposed to look stupid, and it really did. I definitely looked stupid. She just rolled her eyes and laughed.
  7. [On Teen Wolf fans approaching him] I just think that’s so cool and it does genuinely make me feel nice. And it blows me away because I remember being a kid and feeling that way about actors. Just loving them and thinking they’re great. Having them inspires me. I think it’s really awesome.
  8. [On his guilty film pleasures] I have three and I don’t feel guilty! Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, and Galaxy Quest.
  9. Part of growing up is realizing you learn to love so many people. It’s about forming those relationships and finding what will last forever.
What Are The Odds? - Part 4 (Final)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,308

Summary: Before the reader left for college, she had a one night stand with Dean. Eight years later, Dean learns that he has a daughter in an interesting way.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3


“I didn’t realize you felt that way. I mean…I knew you liked me because I’m awesome but…” You ramble on.

“I know. I kept it to myself.” Dean chuckles making you blush.  

“Weird how things turn out.” You say quietly.

Dean nods his head and watches you sitting at his kitchen table.

Keep reading

theactualmedusa  asked:

Can you pretty please write a PJO Hogwarts AU? And can I choose the houses? I'm going to list my house choices but you of course do not have to stick with them. Nico: Slytherin Percy: Gryffindor Jason: Gryffindor Reyna: Slytherin Hazel: Hufflepuff Frank: Hufflepuff Will: Hufflepuff Annabeth: Ravenclaw Piper: (I honestly don't know. You choose) Leo: Gryffindor And solangelo of course. Please? *puppy dog eyes*

Your wish has been granted in the middle of me studying for my exams.

(This will also be posted on my AO3)


“Ugh, this tie sucks,” Nico groaned, looking over at his two roommates, Reyna and Piper. They had, after talking to the headmaster, been allowed to share a room. Nico felt very uncomfortable with the other boys (mainly because they thought he was a freak) and his only friends from the house were Reyna and Piper. So, now, in their fifth year, they got the permission to share a dorm.

Reyna looked up. “It looks good on you, Nico. You’re way better than me at tying them, that’s for sure.”

“You guys, if we don’t get going soon, there’s no chance we’ll be able to eat breakfast before our first class,” Piper said from the door, eyeing her two roommates, one of which was straightening out their tie and the other one looking for their shoes. Her expression changed from a serious one to a wide grin. “And besides, there’s always something you can look at in the Great Hall, isn’t there?”

Nico scoffed, but couldn’t stop the faintest blush to spread over his pale cheeks. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Reyna adopted the same grin as Piper as she pulled on her shoes, having finally found them under her dresser. “Suuure, so there isn’t a certain Hufflepuff you have your eyes on?”

“No. Leave me alone.” And with that, Nico marched out of their room, past Piper and out of the Slytherin Common Room.

As he made his way towards the Great Hall alone, he let his thoughts wander. How dare they assume that he liked anyone in Hufflepuff? Well, of course he liked someone there - his sister Hazel and her boyfriend Frank - but that wasn’t important right now. He did not have a crush on anyone. Not since the admire-crush thing he had on one of his friends in second grade. He was done with romance already. No one would want a freak who happened to think that necromancy was cool. Especially not perfect blond guys with the bluest eyes in the world that helped out in the hosp- no, he was not going there with his thoughts. Not now.

He walked into the Great Hall and started to look for his friends. After each Welcome-back-to-school party, the house tables got switched out with smaller tables so that the students could sit with whoever they wanted to. Nico, with his ‘friend’ group being spread across all the houses, this was definitely an advantage for them.

At one of the tables close to the left wall, he saw Percy sitting with Annabeth and Leo and he started to walk towards them, also minding the tables around them to see who sat there.

“Hey, Nico,” Percy greeted him as he sat down and got a glass of apple juice, not really having much of an appetite like usual.

“Hey,” Nico mumbled. Then he noticed the faint bags under his friend’s eyes. “Wait, you actually stayed up last night and got your homework done? Since when?”

“Since Annabeth forced me to. We stayed in the library until it closed and then we went to her common room. I fell asleep after 11:30.” He ended his explanation with a big yawn. “And I’m not happy about it.”

Reyna and Piper joined them, followed by Hazel, Frank and Jason. “Of course you’re not. You don’t like homework,” Reyna said before focusing his attention on Nico. “You have to eat. Remember the last time you ‘forgot’ to eat both dinner and breakfast in a row?”

Nico grimaced. He had passed out in the hallway and been brought to the hospital wing where he woke up to find a student looking after him rather than Madam Pomfrey. That was an experience he would rather not repeat again, so he helped himself to a small bowl of cereal. “Happy?”

“Very,” a familiar voice said behind him. Nico turned around and almost knocked his goblet over, glaring at the person standing behind him. Of course it was him. Will Solace. The boy who had taken care of him in the hospital wing more times that he liked to admit.

“You really have to eat breakfast Nico, or else you’ll pass out again. You’re already almost too skinny and you really don’t need to drop any more weight,” Will said, looking down at him.

Nico sent a death glare back in return. “I didn’t ask for you to stick your nose into my friend’s conversation.”

Will crossed his arms. “Well, I didn’t ask for you to be such an idiot about your health either, but funnily you are one anyways.”

The Seven and Reyna watched as Will and Nico continued to bicker, eventually drawing the attention of the people sitting at nearby tables as well. They all could feel the thick sexual tension between the boys and a couple girls sitting at almost the other end of the hall yelled, “Can you two just kiss and get over it?”

Nico’s head whipped up to glare at the yeller before stomping out of the Great Hall with a dark blush covering his face and shadows making a small trail behind him.

Will looked after him with an equally dark blush before joining his friends at some other table.

Later, when the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins had Herbology together, Nico avoided Will at all costs. He couldn’t have a crush on the stupid blond. Not after Percy. No. Nope. Nix. Nada. He was done with romance and Will probably couldn’t stand him. He was just a creepy freak that had always been able to manipulate shadows, bones and ghosts to some degree. It was connected to dark magic in people’s minds and many stayed away from him. Not that he minded, people just wasn’t his thing. Period.

Problem was, Will didn’t seem to want to avoid Nico. No, that idiot walked up to where Nico was working with Hazel and asked if they could talk privately after the class was over. Nico reluctantly agreed, even if he knew Will was just going to make fun of him and his sexuality. But deep inside, Nico knew that Will wasn’t the type of person to do that. So why the heck did he want to talk to Nico then?