this hat is giant on my head

SORRY I HAVE TO JUST GET MY SQUEE OUT FOR THE COSTUME DESIGNERS OF WONDER WOMAN

LOOK AT THIS. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS.

THEY GAVE BOTH MAIN CHARACTERS A HAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOBODY EVER GIVES HATS TO MAIN CHARACTERS!!!

DISCLAIMER: I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND BC IT CAN BE HARD TO SHOOT CONVERSATIONS WITH A GIANT FEATHERED MONSTROSITY ON YOUR HEAD LIKE AN EDWARDIAN GIBSON GIRL HAT. BUT LISTEN, UNTIL THE 1960S YOU DID NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT A HAT. THAT WAS AS ESSENTIAL AS SAYING PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

AND DIANA’S OUTFIT. I MEAN IT’S NICE. IT PROBABLY COSTS MORE THAN MY ENTIRE WARDROBE AND RENT FOR MY APARTMENT. AND DIANA IS STILL GORGEOUS. BUT IT’S NOT DESIGNED TO MAKE HER LOOK SEXY AT ALL. IT IS DESIGNED TO BE PRACTICAL AND TRUE TO THE TIME PERIOD.

IT’S FUCKING COLD-ASS LONDON IN WW1… AND DIANA IS ACTUALLY DRESSED LIKE IT INSTEAD OF LIKE A FUCKBOY FANTASY?!?!?!

SHE’S WEARING A THICK WOOL COAT!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT SHE IS WEARING A HIGH-COLLARED SHIRT WITH LONG SLEEVES BECAUSE MORE WARMTH. AND IT’S GRAY?!??!?! BECAUSE WHY USE FANCY COLORS ON SOMETHING THAT’S JUST GOING TO GET RAINED ON FIVE MINUTES OUT OF THE STORE?!?!?

AND HER LONG HAIR IS NOT LEFT LOOSE TO FRAME HER FACE IN ATTRACTIVE CURLS, IT’S PUT UP IN A BUN BC THAT IS FASHIONABLE AND PRACTICAL

AND CAN WE ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW MINUS THE SKIRT, DIANA’S BASICALLY WEARING THE SAME THING AS STEVE DOWN TO THE COLOR SCHEME.

AND WHEN STEVE PUTS GLASSES ON DIANA TO TRY AND MAKE HER LESS GORGEOUS, ETTA MAKES FUN OF HIM LIKE MOST OF THE FEMALE AUDIENCE PROBABLY DID LMFAO.

ANYWAY I LOVE THIS MOVIE I WILL SQUEE ABOUT IT MORE LATER

A Plethora of Dates With Peter Parker...

The Movie Theater 

  • Peter always taking you out to see the newest Sci-Fi films and definitely the newest Star Wars (but it’s his second time seeing it, since he promised Ned he would always see it with him first)
  • “Peter, can I please see Star Wars again in the theaters with you and [Y/N]?
  • “No, Ned! It’s a date… between two people only!”
  • “But it’s my favorite!”
  • “Ned, you say that about every Star Wars movie!”
  • Always finishing the popcorn before or during the previews
  • Peter constantly making sure you are comfortable and have the best seat in the house (this means getting to Star Wars showings at least an hour early)
  • “Are you cold? Do you want my jacket? Can you see the screen okay?”
  • “The man in front of us has a giant hat on, and I can’t see over it!”
  • “Excuse me, sir. Do you mind taking your hat off? My girlfr- NED! What are you doing here?”
  • “Hi, guys! How’s your dateeee?”
  • Finally giving in and letting Ned sit next to you during Star Wars (Peter and Ned regularly looking over at you for your reaction to their favorite scenes)
  • NEVER doing anything naughty in the theaters because you both want to respect the actors, directors, and all the hard work put into the film PLUS you wouldn’t want to miss anything important!
  • However, you often hold Peter’s hand or lay your head on his shoulder (or vice versa)
  • Peter shout-whispering to you when something awesome happens in the film
  • “Aw, man! Did you see that? That was so cool!”
  • Occasionally watching Peter instead of the movie. The look of pure amusement and enlightenment on his face. Adorable.
  • After the movie, you set aside a half an hour (or an hour for Star Wars) to have long discussions about your favorite parts, the science, the filming, the music, or how the film made you question the meaning of life
  • “Babe, that movie was amazing! My mind is officially blown. We should go to my apartment right now and try to creat-”
  • Always Every once in awhile you have to kiss him to prevent him from rambling on about the movie too much

Art Museum

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On Maggie Sawyer and snapbacks

It always struck me how Maggie says she lived with “an aunt” for three years rather than “my aunt”. Maggie’s aunt took her in because yes, kicking her out was a harsh move on her parents’ part, and yes, no child should have to live on the street, and Maggie’s always been a good girl even if she is…that way. But will she put up with that nonsense in her house? Hell no.

So their relationship is very conditional. Her aunt takes care of her, cooks her favourite meals when she misses home, tends to her grazes when she gets beat up at school. She loves her. But she doesn’t accept her. Every night she prays for her, every other week she asks if Maggie’s met any nice boys at soccer, and when Maggie wears baseball caps at the table, she tugs them off her head and groans, “Ay, mija, te ves como un chico”.

But Maggie’s desperate, and she’s grateful, so she toes the line, studying every night until she falls asleep at the kitchen table. She gets a partial scholarship to college, gets in early at 17, and it’s there that she meets the first openly queer people she’s ever seen in her life. The first time a girl kisses her, in the dark at a movie, she cries because this is wrong, I’m wrong, yet she’s never felt anything come so naturally to her, and her heart flutters without permission, and when Holly’s thumb grazes her cheek, something inside her finally unclenches its fists.

She starts sleeping over in Holly’s dorm and, naturally, starts borrowing her clothes. She’s never had the freedom to experiment with her style, living on cousins’ hand me downs and already walking Blue Springs with a target on her back. At first she only wears Holly’s red flannel to bed - never out - because what if somebody hurts her again, what if this time she doesn’t make it out alive. And while Maggie thinks Holly looks cute as hell with that shirt tied around her waist, a lifetime of racism tells her only pretty blonde white girls can pull off that look anyway, that she could never rock it even if she tried.

But eventually, Maggie gets the courage to wear it to thanksgiving dinner at the campus LGBT centre, clenching Holly’s hand the whole way there. Soon after, Holly catches her toying with an old hat in her room and buys Maggie her first snapback for Christmas, complete with a National City Giants logo in honour of the city she wants to work in someday. It takes a while for Maggie to get used to wearing it, but once she does, slipping it over her head feels as warm and empowering and terrifying as Holly holding her hand.

Years later, Alex comes across an old hiking photo of Maggie and another friend, and laughs “Oh my God.”

Maggie groans, blushes. “Give me a break, it was college.”

“No, it’s adorable. You were such a cute baby gay.”

And Maggie can’t help but smile a little. Because yeah, she’s outgrown the snapbacks and found better fitting flannels, but she’ll never forget those years experimenting with how she presented herself, figuring out who she was. How throwing on a snapback made her feel brave on days she felt she didn’t have the strength to be brave. How she’d notice a girl in similar clothes on campus and give her a knowing smile that said ‘I see you’.

“Yeah,” she chuckles, smiling down on the photo in Alex’s hands, feeling a swell of pride for her younger self as intense as pain. “Yeah, I guess I was.”


@sanvershcs @onefootone  @all-the-gay-feels @queercapwriting @avidreaderffn @maggiesxwyr @blakebat @smolsawyer

One of my favorite things about Fallen London’s writing is how everybody just goes with the flow. Body swapping immortal serial killer? Of course there’s one. Giant men made of clay? They make excellent hired muscle. Hats that eat your head? Just be polite and nothing should go wrong. Got murdered? Oh, just wait it out, you’ll be sore for a bit but soon you’ll be right as rain. Twelve foot tall bats that speak in shrieking voices? Well the market isn’t going to run itself, is it?

I don’t have time to write it all out right now, but I have to get this idea out before I lose inspiration–

WHAT IF DR FLUG IS COVERED IN SCARS?

I’ve seen some theories floating around that suggest Flug was bullied as a kid, and maybe he has some scars from that, but I mean experiment gone horribly wrong type scars.

Adding on to this, what if the reason Black Hat is the way he is now is from the same experiment that went horribly wrong?

I just have this scene in my head where Black Hat and Dr. Flug are in the lab, and there’s this giant machine–probably a portal to smoother universe or something–and probably-human BH is so excited because it’s taken them so long to get to this point and they’re finally here! Flug pulls the switch, alarms start blaring, the machine crackles with electricity, BH rushes forward to see what’s wrong–
BOOM! Some otherworldly creature emerges from the machine and catches BH. Flug can’t get close through all the chaos. Meanwhile, eldritch horror demon starts baby talking BH about how cute it is that he’s trying to play god or something along those lines, then it decides to give BH a taste of what being a god is really like. Cue tortured screaming from human BH as his entire being is rewritten from the inside out–
Flug, finally figures out how to send the horrorterror back to its home dimension without BH and punches in the code, but by the time he’s done, it’s too late. BH is writhing on the floor, coughing up blood and ichor and screaming. The lab is on fire and the building is probably going to collapse soon. Flug braves the danger and goes to BH’s side, but he’s out of it, and lashes out at Flug, thinking it was the demon. Flug takes the hit, but he’s determined to get BH out. He drags BH out of the building, taking hits from fire, electricity, and BH himself all the way. They make it out just in time to avoid getting crushed by the rubble. Only after Flug knows BH is safe does he pass out from his injuries.

Some time later, Flug wakes up in a hospital bed covered in bandages. BH is by his bedside, no visible injuries but almost completely unrecognizable now that the demon’s magic has corrupted him. He yells at Flug for nearly dying on him and for being so stupid and reckless, but Flug can tell that BH cares. BH hands Flug a paper bag with built-in goggles, telling Flug it’s because of the scars (in a more cold, aggressive way,) but really it’s because he can’t stand to see what he’d done to Flug. BH then demands Flug rest and leaves the room a-la tsundere Black Hat style. Flug puts on the bag out of respect.

i mean come on you can’t tell me that tfp wheeljack doesn’t get introduced to old western movies and secretly gets addicted to them

and one day he walks into the base and goes ‘howdy partner’ to ratchet and ratchet goes ‘???? i’m not your partner, wheeljack”

“this town ain’t big enough for the two of us,” wheeljack agrees

“…wheeljack we’re not in a town. this is a base. it’s a little cramped but it IS big enough for the two of us. there’s nine of us here. what are you even talking about.”

meanwhile miko and raf are laughing behind him and fowler’s thinking he doesn’t get paid enough to babysit giant alien robots.

and so begins the search for a cowboy hat big enough for wheeljack’s head. they WILL find it. miko’s determined.

[6]

MOKONA NO THIS WAS IMPORTANT. 

MOKONA PLEASE. I WANT TO EXPLORE THE FLOATY BUBBLES SOME MORE. 

It is very possible that I was reading too much into the floaty bubbles and it is not actual. 

BUT ALSO WHO THE HELL KNOWS AT THIS POINT. I AM SUSPICIOUS OF TOO MANY THINGS. I JUST DON’T KNOW.

I have also been staring at those suits for long minutes now. I feel like I should say something beyond “wow”, and yet that’s all I can think of. 

So. Like. 

Wow. 

So I did a thing and drew another picture of ‘Unsteady’ Yuri with a giant hat and black on black clothes (worst decision ever omg). His head is a bit messed up but ah well, still looks okay-ish, hopefully. And yeah, again, sunglasses so I wouldn’t have to draw eyes, I admit to that. The app and stylus I’m using are not made for precision stuff like eyes so…Even drawing those bracelets and rings was already a big pain in the ass but I tried my best.

18 ~ I live with two children (short)

Based off Dan’s recent Instagram video

Quiet, too quiet. A virtually silent atmosphere was a rare thing in this household so it was easy to be concerned. The silence was broken by heavy footsteps walking towards the lounge followed by Dan suddenly yelling, “What in darnation!” 

The sound of something hitting the wall caused me to get up and find out what the hell was going on. “Almost” He followed up. The scene before me would be odd in someone else’s house but here totally normal. 

The cowboy hat, i presume was thrown by Dan, was on the floor behind phil, of who was hold a sombrero. 

“I almost got it on your head but you moved!” Dan laughed hysterically clutching his phone. 

“I moved cause it came flying at my head!” Phil retorted. 

I sighed and walked away, “I live with to giant man-childs!” I yelled as i went back to what i was doing. 

“Hey!” 


A/n: so sorry this is short, i’m really struggling at the moment to write. But i didn’t want to keep not posting so i quickly wrote this short blurb.

Heroes and Legends (pt. 1)

Next

(Heroes always get remembered, but you know legends never die. –Panic! at the Disco “Emperor’s New Clothes.”)

Light filters through the shades over the window and falls across his face, stirring him from sleep. With a crick in his neck, he sits up, rubbing his face. Outside a bird sings and announces that the morning is upon him. He reaches over, grabs a gun, and fires out the window.

There is no more birdsong.

Wilford Warfstache rolls out of bed and hits the floor. It takes him a few minutes to pull on clothes, socks, his top hat, and he wanders into the kitchen of the crappy house he is forced to live in. Two minutes and a string of colorful curses later and he finally gets the coffeemaker working as his roommate wanders in and chunks a red and white striped blazer at his head.

“I think this is yours.” Dark pulls the box of Poptarts out of the pantry, finds it empty, and throws it away with a growl of dissatisfaction. “You’ve got to quit throwing your stuff all over the place. How did that even end up in the tree in the backyard?”

Wilford shrugs on the coat and watches the coffee brew. “I had a shoot-out on the roof of a warehouse with two cops and a baby. How else would my coat end up in a tree?”

Dark squints at him, opens his mouth to object that what he’s said makes absolutely no sense, and then thinks better of it. Because nothing that Wilford does actually makes any sense. “Whatever, but if you keep drawing the attention of the neighbors, we’re going to have to move again. And I just talked the landlord into letting us skip another month’s payment.”

“Fine, fine.” Wilford waves Dark off and fills up a mug with coffee before adding enough sugar to properly rot his teeth out and starts sipping at it, waiting for the caffeine to kick his butt into gear. Dark continues rummaging for food. “I could go to the grocery store.”

“I’m not letting you out of my sight for at least a month. We’ll go together,” Dark informs Wilford as he finds a half-empty box of Cheezits and decides it will suffice for breakfast. “How did you get into a shoot-out with the police?”

Wilford continues sipping his coffee loudly and raises both eyebrows at Dark in a way that asks, “Do you really want to know?”

“You know what? Forget it,” Dark carries the box of Cheezits back to his room. “I’d much rather go bash my head in. We’ll leave in half an hour, so try to make yourself look presentable.”

“I am presentable!” But Dark has already slammed his door shut. “Drama queen,” Wilford mutters to his coffee and wiggles his mustache.

It’s always a headache trying to take Wilford anywhere in public, especially since he and Dark technically look alike. They tend to turn a lot of heads, in other words. So Dark insists that Wilford not wear his red and white blazer or the giant top hat, which Warfstache considers cruel and unusual punishment, but as long as it means that they can get the groceries and get home without murdering anyone or getting chased by the police, Dark doesn’t honestly care what Wilford thinks.

“Quit throwing cotton candy into the basket!” Dark shoves the bag back on the shelf and swats at Wilford’s hands as he reaches for it again. “I told you already! We get the essentials, and that’s it!”

“Your eyeliner doesn’t count as an essential,” Warfstache whines, and Dark is about to deck him right here and now in front of everyone when he sees something, or rather someone, that catches his eye as they walk past the aisle he and Wilford are currently on.

Dark leaves their cart behind, and Wilford is forced to run to keep up with him as Dark peeks around the end of the aisle, black eyes following the other man closely. “That’s him, Warfstache, the other Ego.”

Wilford stands on his tip toes to peer over Dark’s shoulder, but he doesn’t see who Dark is looking at. “Who?”

Dark blinks several times and shakes his head. “I don’t know. He was there just a minute ago, and now he’s gone.”

“Well, aren’t you two quite the pair?” a deep voice asks from behind them.

Wilford and Dark jump, Dark’s head smacking into Wilford’s chin painfully, and the two of them spin around to see the man standing before them. He wears a simple flannel shirt and jeans with his short, brown hair kept out of his face. Dark tries to smile warmly, but it comes across as a snarl as he says, “Wilford, meet the Author. Author, meet Wilford Warfstache.”

The Author raises an eyebrow at the two of them but takes Wilford’s hand when the other Ego offers it along with a dopey, puzzled stare. “Nice to meet you, Warfstache. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Wilford finally works his mouth loose from his dumbfounded expression as he says, “Likewise. Tell me, Author, have you ever considered giving a TV interview?”

To Catch Your Eyes

The day Jack 110% Zimmermann vaulted a snowbank to show Bitty his photos and spilled coffee all over him instead. Read on AO3

Title is from “Jealous Guy” by John Lennon

“I might just steal this from you, mister!”

Bitty swings his arms wide around him and looks at the Samwell hoodie hanging down to his thighs, bunched under his coat. “And it’s all warmed up too! You sure you’re not cold?”

Jack laughs outright.

“It’s not even that cold today, I don’t know why I put that on over this shirt.” He plucks at the thick Henley his mom had bought last Christmas. “Not like I can let you go without a layer, not when it’s my fault anyway.”

Bitty looks up with the same fond expression he wore when he’d stood covered in his and Jack’s coffees, but is interrupted by Nursey rushing past and calling out to them.

“’Sup you two?  Out for a constitutional on this beautiful wintry day?”

He turns and starts to walk backwards as he passes them.

“Jack got me all soaked in coffee a minute ago, so now he’s buying me one to say sorry!”

Nursey smiles and winks at them, not waiting to hear more. He runs smack into a group of girls who all scramble to help him up.

Jack and Bitty laugh and start walking again. Jack is only aware of Bitty’s hand curled into his elbow when it’s hastily tugged away again. Where even months ago Jack might have not understood the aborted gesture, now he slings an arm around Bitty’s neck and rocks him into his side.

They’re coming right up to the door of Annie’s anyway but it’s nice to feel Bitty relax into him. After holding the door open for him, Jack doesn’t put his arm back but tries to keep the comfortable closeness between them.

“It’s kinda crowded today. Go grab us that table in the corner under the heating vent, eh?”

Jack is glad Bitty’s stopped trying to pay for himself most of the time, especially since none of the other guys mind Mr. Moneybags picking up the tab.

He thinks about how easy things have become with Bittle this year; what a warm part of the Haus family he’s become.

He carries his black coffee and a giant minty sweet drink to where Bittle is sitting with his hat and mittens still on, hands together on the table and eyes on his drink as it’s set down in front of him.

“What?” he asks with jokey trepidation when he catches Jack smiling at him. It comes out more like ‘whu-ut’ and Jack smiles even wider.

“Nothing. I just realised if I used pictures of you in oversized winter clothes as my entire photography project this year, I’d pass without any critique at all.”

Bitty ducks his head and giggles, fluffing his hair as he pulls the hat off and throwing each of his mittens at Jack’s chest as he removes them.

“Shush! You know it’s those sunlit geese that’re gonna get the class excited, just you watch! Now, let’s finally look at those pictures you wanted to show me before you drowned me.”

Jack scoots closer so their chair legs are touching and turns on his camera, settling in for a good while. The photography class is worth it just for how much fun Bitty has commenting on each photo Jack takes, even the ones where he got the exposure or focus wildly wrong.

“No, it’s interesting! Nice artistic choice for you to focus on the angry old guy pickin’ up dog doodoo in the background rather than the actual dog running over to you!”

“I just love the way you managed to make me look as pale as you using this oh-so-fascinating lighting technique!”

They’re having such a good time that the sight of a handsome stranger at the pick-up counter staring in their direction makes Jack automatically frown. It makes the guy look away for a moment but Jack catches him looking back twice. Back at Bitty.

No. Keep moving.

Jack almost jumps when Bitty flops against his shoulder laughing at all the pictures of geese. Jack slips an arm around him to hold him tight. When he looks up, the guy is smiling shyly and walking out the door.

Immediately Jack feels guilty. He knows he can be a jealous friend. It’s just that none of the people in his life ever let him get away with it.

Here is Bitty though, cheerfully wherever Jack wants him to be, whenever Jack wants him. Hell, he’d even been like that back when Jack was being the prize asshole he was when the kid was a frog.

He can’t actually think of a time Bittle had ever said no to anything Jack asked. Including squaring up to a defensemen twice his size with disastrous results.

Jack jumps when he looks down at Bitty staring up at him, sat upright on his own chair again.

“Where do you go when you do that, Mr. Zimmermann?”

A look of sadness must pass over his face then because it’s mirrored on Bitty’s just as quickly.

“Eh, Bittle…”

Bitty waits patiently, big brown eyes full of emotion and hope.

“I’m not, uh… I’m not compromising your time, am I?”

At Bittle’s confused expression, he clarifies. “You know you don’t have to join me whenever I ask you to go somewhere or hang out, right? I know you’ve got a thing for taking care of people but you don’t really seem to make any time outside all of us—“

He’s stopped by a surprisingly frantic Bitty, clutching Jack’s forearm and looking… close to tears?

“Jack,” he finally gets out. “Do not ever think that. I don’t… you have no idea. You just. Oh lord!”

He ducks back down onto Jack’s shoulder again, this time shaking his head.

“Aw c’mon don’t smile at me like that! I’m tryin’ to say… humph… that I wouldn’t wanna spend my days in college with anyone else but y’all.”

Bitty sits up straight again and snuffles ruefully. “If you’da told me two years ago I’d be hangin’ out every day with someone like you, I’d think it was too good to be true.”

“Bits…”

“No, no, don’t worry like that. I know you boys love me too, even if you don’t cry every time you mention it.”

Jack makes a ridiculous pouty face just to see Bittle laugh and his eyes clear again.

“Okay, bud. Just wanted to make sure.”

He hasn’t done his duty and he knows it, but the out Bitty gives him feels way too easy.

Bitty wipes at his cheeks with the sleeve of Jack’s hoodie.

“Mmmm so sooooft!” Bits coos, now petting his own face against it.

Jack has to hide his ridiculous smile inside his coffee cup. There’s no point pretending anymore: Bitty is that brand of unbearably cute that websites make lists about.

“You know you should just keep that,” he marks the way Bitty’s whole face lights up in a glow. “It’s gotten kinda small on me and I’ve got two more at home I haven’t worn yet. I know you like those sort of soft, worn-in type clothes.”

“Really! Jack, that’s so sweet!”

He actually hugs the hoodie around himself with both arms. “I do love some well-loved clothes, they feel like I’m gettin’ a cuddle all day long.”

Jack is absolutely dying to squeeze him. He can see now why Holster and Shitty love kissing Bitty on the cheeks. He looks like a bunny. It almost hurts.

Instead, he binks Bitty’s nose on the side with one finger and just like clockwork, Bitty sneezes and gets “mad” at him until Jack buys him a candy cane bar.

Check Please HP AU

ALRIGHT, so I’ve been meaning to write this one for a while but I have accepted that it not going to happen in full-fic format. So, here, the old “this isn’t a fic but oh wait it’s turned into a bit of a fic” format (a petals classic):

So, the key of a CP HP AU is that, in general, you have to get everyone in the same House because that’s how the quidditch teams work. And a quick glance (I haven’t read them bc I try not to read aus im going to write for fear of transference) tells me that others have done Hufflepuff and Gryffindor but if you know anything about me, you know there is nothing I love more than dismantling the last vestiges of anti-Slytherin prejudice that still lingers in everyone’s subconscious. (*cough* Untamed *cough*)

Basically, I’m going to put everyone into Slytherin. Cuz I can. So here you go, you have:

Jack Zimmermann, son of Bad Bob Zimmermann, a quidditch legend. He played Beater for the Montrose Magpies and is known for creating and coining the term “Scoring Beater” due to his skill at using his beater’s bat not only to control the bludger, but to hit the quaffle through the posts at incredible distances. It starts out as a trick play but turned into a legitimate scoring strategy. Most importantly for our story, Bob Zimmermann was the Captain of the team for his final two years of Hogwarts, won the House Cup for 4/6 years he was on the team, and is generally regarded as one of the finest flyers ever to come out of Gryfindor.

Yes, Gryffindor. Bad Bob Zimmermann was a Gryffindor. In fact, all of the Zimmermanns in the history of Magic have been Gryffindors. 

Until Jack Zimmermann. Already dealing with the pressure of dominating in quidditch little leagues, Jack Zimmermann came to Hogwarts and then in a moment that didn’t quite seem real, the Sorting Hat was put onto his head and screamed SLYTHERIN before it had even finished it’s downward descent. The Gryffinders started clapping before they realized what had happened. The Slytherins didn’t start clapping because they assumed there was some mistake. Some claimed that the Hat must just be a bit tired (it was the end of the alphabet after all) and it made a mistake. It is said that this might be the only time Headmaster McGonagall broke her calm exterior during a Sorting Ceremony and tried to put the hat back on a student’s head.

But, eventually (when the Hat just turned and huffed at McGonagall and the Slytherins finally started cheering), there was nothing left for Jack Zimmermann to do but walk over to the Slytherin side of the Great Hall and plop next to B. Knight, already wondering how on earth he was going to explain this to his parents. Even his mother, who was a Muggle, knew enough about Hogwarts to know that Slytherins were the worst

Of course, in the weeks/months/years that follow, Jack Zimmermann realizes that he is, in fact, a Slytherin. Goal-oriented? Ambitious? He is all of those things. And, actually, he is a lot of things from the other Houses as well because, really, what person can be reduced to just three or four traits and isn’t it a bit ridiculous that eleven year olds are just sorted into Houses and then basically conditioned to view themselves in a certain light throughout their formative years and–

Well, wait. We’re getting into Shitty.

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EXO (OT12) - Reaction to You Buying Couple’s Stuff

Minseok:
When you walked in and showed Min the matching his & hers phone cases he was surprised. Then he starting thinking about how cute the idea was and put it on his phone immediately. You even suggested having matching backgrounds. He happily agreed and you took a cute photo together for the fun of it.

Luhan:
You knew how much Lu liked collecting watches so when you were at the mall with friends and saw a super nice matching pair for men and women you just had to get them. When he saw them as he settled down at home after work he got super adorable. “Baobei, this is really nice.” He would put his on, you would put yours on, and then he would snap a picture and post it on Instagram about how great “His Y/N” is.

Kris (Yifan):
Your cool guy was always known for rocking a pair of shades. So, you couldn’t pass up the opportunity when you saw matching pairs of Ray Bans. After you greeted Kris when he walked through the door you grabbed the glasses off the kitchen table and brought them over. He gave a shy grin as he placed them on. Then he offered to put yours on for you. “We are looking good Babe.” He pulled you into his arms and kissed the top of your head.

Junmyeon:
Jun was actually the one that brought up getting something couple related. This dork was all for going all out. So, when you came home from the mall with matching shirts for you both he became super excited. “Awe, Jagi. You really listened to me.” This man would give you a super affectionate hug and then immediately try it on. He would then make you put yours on too. Not that you cared, you loved seeing him be super cute.  

Yixing:
Since Yixing was always travelling back and forth you wanted to get him something that would remind him of you when you were apart. You really wanted to engrave something with your initials so you bought two necklaces that were sort of like dog tags and did exactly that. When you showed them to Yixing he thought they were sweet. “Now you will always be close to my heart,” he said as he placed it over his head. You wrapped your arms around him as he gave you a kiss.

Baekhyun:
“What do you think of couple’s bracelets?” You asked as you and Baek were spending some quality time together watching a movie on the couch. “I think they are nice, why?” You giggled and jumped up to grab the bag that you had placed in your bedroom. “Ta da!” You pulled out the bracelets and gave him a smile. He laughed and responded with a goofy grin as he gestured for you to put his on for him. You also put yours on. He looked at the bracelets as he intertwined his fingers with yours, “I really like them Jagi.”

Jongdae:
When you saw a pair of matching couple’s hoodies you just could not resist. When Dae came home you told him to wait as you changed into something. Dae being the naughty boy he is thought it was something scandalous, so when you waltzed out in a giant hoodie holding another one for him he started giggling. After laughing he pulled you in for a hug and then he put his hoodie on as well. “Wae! Why are you so cute?!” You both cuddled nice and warm in your new hoodies as well as each other’s arms.

Chanyeol:
“Jagi, are these ours?” Chanyeol walked out of your bedroom with the matching hats you had just purchased. You gave him a sheepish grin, “Do you like them?” The dork put on a giant grin and placed the hat on top of his head. “Are you kidding, I love them!” He ran over to place yours on top of your head and engulfed you into a tight bear hug. “Gosh my girl is too cute!” he said squeezing you tighter.

Kyungsoo:
You and Kyungsoo liked to go out and do things a lot. You thought it would be cute to buy matching backpacks for when you two were out and about. Also since Soo was always traveling to promote his group and to film you thought it would be a nice little gift he could use a lot. Neither of you were in to goofy looking his and hers clothing so this was a great compromise. When he came home after rehearsal you greeted him and then went to get the bags. “I thought you could get a lot of use out of it. Plus we could match out in public.” He just broke out into one of his cute smiles and brought you into his chest with a hug. “Thanks Jagi, I will take it everywhere.”

Tao:
You had noticed Tao looking at a pair of shoes when you were out shopping a few weeks ago. You decided you surprise him by buying them for him and another pair for yourself. When he came home from a day at the studio and you gave them to him and told him about your pair he got super cute. “Baobei we are going to be the swaggest couple out there.” You giggled and he gave you a kiss. “Swaggest, really babe?” You joked as he pulled you back in for a hug.

Jongin:
You had noticed a nice pair of matching couple’s rings when you were out and about with your friends one day. Since you and Jongin had been dating for quite some time you wanted something to signify your relationship. So, you ultimately decided to buy them. After you and Jongin ate dinner you told him that you got a surprise. You pulled out the rings and he got the biggest smile on his face. “I will wear it so that everyone knows that I am yours.” He put it on and gave you a sweet kiss.

Sehun:
Being the fashionista that he is, you knew Sehun would never turn down clothes. You decided to get matching leather jackets to celebrate your anniversary. When you walked into your bedroom to find him relaxing on the bed you pulled the jackets out. “Happy Anniversary babe,” you said as he got up to try it on. “It looks great,” he said looking in the mirror. “Of course, you always look great.” You responded with a sly smile. “Yeah, but you look better.” You gave a shy laugh as he came over to hug you tightly. “Thanks Jagi, they are really nice.”


Masterlist

9

AMBER.

Long + Short
211 Parnell Rd, Auckland, NZ


What made you fall in love with coffee?
A whole list of things. The flavour, the nostalgia associated with my childhood and my dad’s love for coffee, the vibe of being in a cafe, and the process of grabbing a coffee on the way to an 8am lecture. Ultimately it’s the excitement of making coffee that has really drawn me in. I still find it so fun.

What’s your go-to coffee preparation method?
At home it’s a V60 because it’s easy and tastes delicious (also I’m the biggest fan of soft brews). At work it’s my Moccamaster - it makes a large batch of filter coffee and you can’t argue with refills of a damn good batch brew.

Who’s the most fascinating person coffee has connected you with?
I once met an Australian theatre star - he was on tour with his show in Auckland and was wearing a giant fur hat. I can’t remember his name but he was the most flamboyant, interesting and theatrical man I’ve ever met.

Outside of making coffee, what are you passionate about?
Music, the ocean, art, adventure, film - pretty much anything and everything, I am endlessly fascinated by the world.

Where do you get your caffeine fix on your days off?
It depends on who I’m with and where I am. One of my flatmates works at Ceremony in Grafton so my friends and I often head there on a Saturday. My favourite place of all time was Good One but it’s closed now, so I can’t wait for Coffee Supreme to do something new in Auckland. I’m a big fan of Camper too.

How has being a barista impacted your work as an artist/musician?
My cafe is pretty chill so it has definitely created a place for my mind to wander and be inspired, particularly by the music we play. I’ve gotten to meet so many cool musicians and on a practical level, being a barista is my source of income to fund my own music-making.

What’s next for you?
I have no idea. Hopefully travel, more coffee and a lot more music-making - something that I can share with the rest of the world.

If you could have coffee with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be and why?
Damn, this is hard. Probably Wes Anderson. Or Prince. Or both at the same time. And maybe Audrey Hepburn as well. Oh, and John Hughes who directed Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, which is my favourite film.

A Touch of Magic

Yooran Week Day Five - Vacation // Strawberry Festival

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Yoosung x Saeran

Word count: 1604

Disclaimer: Characters are owned by Cheritz co. I do not own Mystic Messenger or any of the characters.

A/N: I’m a bit late due to life being hell but this is for @yooranweek

I’d like to thank Mod Andi (@11daysofhell) and Mod Amy (@dragonpigeons) for being my betas for me. Also, Andi again for helping me brainstorm a title. You guys are the best.

You can also read on my AO3


The sun was unbearable. It was hot. Humid. And loud. Why did they come here? Saeran looked around at the people everywhere. Tons of children all of who were laughing, crying, or yelling. It was all really annoying. What was so good about this place? He glanced about the area as he sat on a bench in the shade. Maybe he shouldn’t have worn black.

Noticing the rails on the ground, his eyes followed them and he peered into the stores lined up along the street. His nose caught quite a few different smells, one of which was definitely a nearby bakery. He spotted a sweets shop down the line of stores and wanted to head over there but he knew he’d get lost if he went.

He wasn’t sure how big this place was but according to MC there were four different parks and they had to visit them all and do everything in order to experience ‘the magic’, whatever that meant. He rolled his eyes and they landed on Yoosung running over to him. He sat up slightly trying to smile as best as he could.

“Hey!” Yoosung slowed down as he reached where Saeran was sitting. He must have noticed the forced smile as he took a seat next to him. “Doing alright?” He laid his hand on top of Saeran’s.

Keep reading

A quick check-in on space cowboys Lance and Keith, the Two McClains

Lance ducks beneath a barrage of gunfire, and Keith jumps the fence into the corral, ready to defend him from the swiftly approaching goons that Hesfer employs. The animals in the corral are not best pleased by the fighting, making low, threatening hums that Keith would probably call “moos” if they were Earth cows.

Lance definitely calls them the cows with far too much delight, and Keith, dreading the horrific jokes, has consistently cut him off by stating, “They’re called munssen, Lance. No one here knows what a cow is other than me.”

Keith stabs towards a thug who’s trying to get at Lance, and he parries a blow from another as Lance attempts to take the boss down with his pistols. Hesfer fires at the giant munssen that Lance is using for cover, and said peaceful grazing herbivore decides that it has had enough of this crap and proceeds to lower its head and charge at the mercenary boss, skewering her on three of its five horns.

The battle ends abruptly.

Lance and Keith and Hesfer’s thugs all look at each other. The alien woman who had been Hesfer’s righthand takes a moment to evaluate the bloody, unmoving body of her employer and says, “Well, McClains, I think we’ve had enough for today.”

“Right,” Lance says, sounding strangled, tipping his cowboy hat at her. “But considering the hole in my favourite jacket, maybe it’s a moot point.”

Keith groans and buries his face in hands that are still clutching his twin blades.

Lance just grins wildly, high on adrenaline. And stupidity. But the latter was his default state. “C’mon, we just about wrangled ourselves a win here.” He twirls his pistols back into their holsters and shoots Keith with finger guns.

“No. Stop,” Keith says, pointing at him with one of his swords. “Lance, I’m dead serious.”

“Oh Keith, that’s just bull,” Lance crows.

Keith can feel himself dying inside. “You can’t even pun properly half the time, let alone make good ones when you do,” he insists, trying to end his suffering while sheathing his blades.

“Right, we’ll be taking our boss’s body now,” the woman says, looking like she sincerely doubts their sanity and wishes to be far away. Keith does not blame her. He ignores the retreating mercenaries as Lance holds a hand to his heart.

“Yeah, she was such a prize that heifer, I mean Hesfer.”

“Lance, if you don’t stop, you are sleeping on the damn floor, see if I won’t kick your ass straight out of bed tonight.”

“Sorry, buddy, I don’t think I herd you right?” And then he runs away, weaving between the munssen (all right, damn it, they definitely looked like cows, albeit green with five horns), as Keith gives chase.

Keith tackles him into the dust, to the background chorus of more space cows mooing and going about their business.

Lance grins up at him, shameless. “Howdy are you today, McClain?”

Keith drops his head to Lance’s chest, breathing heavily, and says, “Even though I’ve been stuck with you for months, half the time I still don’t know what in starnation you’re on about.”

The silence that follows is charged. When Keith lifts his head up, he sees that Lance’s blue eyes are wider — and darker. 

“Keith, did you just break out your Texas for me? Did you just make a space cowboy pun for me?”

“No. You’re hearing things, maybe being a cowboy has limited your range.” Apparently, Keith could not pun properly either, nor did he have any dignity left, thanks to Lance.

“Keith. Keith,” Lance says, breathless and writhing beneath him, and Keith would be answering that call to nudity if they weren’t currently in a corral full of space cows, and if Lance wasn’t about to say the exact thing he said next.

“We should probably catch a ride home, right?” Lance asks, teasing Keith with a swift roll of his hips. “Or …” And then he leans up and whispers in his ear. “Say it, Keith, c’mon. Please? Pretty please?”

“No. Also, the fact that bad jokes turn you on explains so much.”

“Keith, we should save the horse, and —”

Keith covers Lance’s mouth with his hand. “You’ve said it once, and that was more times than it should ever have been said. Now, let’s get the hell out of here before we get stampeded over.”

Lance sighs heavily, allowing Keith to pull him up to a standing position. Just as they’ve left the corral, walking over to the ikuril they rode in on, Lance pounces onto Keith’s back. Keith is forced to tightly grip the lanky legs that have wrapped around his waist, stumbling to keep his balance and prevent them both from crashing to the ground. 

With all joy and ridiculousness, Lance announces, “Okay, Keith, I won’t say it since you’re the hoss.”

See, @thidwicktails see what you made me do? ;D (For everyone else’s reference, that “starnation” pun was brought to my attention in this post. I am not nearly that clever. I might have googled a bit to get ideas for the other ones. I cannot pun naturally!)

This is a little too cheerful to fit in my mercenary space cowboy world. But even so, let’s pretend it takes place a few months after they’ve established themselves as The Two McClains. *nods*

Edit: Edited and posted this one-shot over on AO3 under the title Save a Horse (But Also Spare the Cowboy), just ‘cause I wanted to keep most of my writings in one spot :)

I Hate Rollercoasters. (Gothamites x Reader)

Originally posted by cnet

Headcanon: Can you imagine what the Gothamites were be while on a rollercoaster? Late night thoughts 😂 Jerome would be laughing, Jim would be screaming his head off somewhere, anyone else I have no idea ?? 

Based off this post

For: @jeromefuckyeah


“Is it too late to back out now? I heard the drop tower is better!” Bruce stutters while Selina playfully pushes him to go farther in the line up.

Jerome crosses his arms. “You can confront the person who killed your parents but you’re scared to ride a rollercoaster?” Bruce got that. But he would give anything to face his fear. The only option was to do nothing but ride it.

“Of course you’re not afraid,” Oswald rolled his eyes.

Tabitha and Barbara stood beside each other while Theo was behind them, hands folded and his hair non-gelled. He looked calm but deep down, it was like lining up to enter the gates of Hell.

“I hope my fedora doesn’t fly off,” Harvey mutters.

“Then don’t wear it,” Jim said, taking the accessory off his friend’s head. He throws it inside the giant container of items and belongings from passengers to keep while they go on the ride.

“My hat!” He shouted.

Keep reading

8

monday, june 19, 2017

today’s outfit: old patched jeans #2, dyed band t-shirt with sleeves cut off, japanese novelty socks bought off the internet, docs, red lipstick, assorted jewelry, my friend’s giant hat that my friend walked over and stuck on my head apropos of nothing

today’s song: “pictures of success” by rilo kiley. wistful depression and not wanting to do stuff!

Request- Birthday

Requested by anon-‘hi, can you do an imagine where its the reader’s birthday and she isn’t expecting anything from mr j cause lately he has been busy but he surprises her ? PLEASE’

It was a typical Saturday. I was at home drinking coffee mixed with Jack Daniels in the living room on the coach while J was out giving Gotham hell. Today was different though, it was my 22nd birthday. I tried not to take J’s absence to personally because recently he had been gone a lot, sometimes not coming home for days. Something must have gone wrong, like a business “partner” must have screwed up a job and J and Frost were frantically trying to fix the situation. When I did see J it was at 4:30 in the morning. I would skip into the kitchen greeting him with a big smile. In return he would grunt and kiss my cheek leaving me in the room alone. 

I shook the sadness those memories often brought with them. Tenaciously I set my coffee down on the coffee table in front of me. Small shivers crawled over my body, there had been barely anybody in the house, no bodies to keep the rooms warm. I sighed heavily resting my head on my hand as my eyes wandered out of the window. It was fall time, the leaves on the tree had either turned orange or fallen to the ground and turned a brown color. The sky was a dark grey, darker grey clouds accompanying it. I hummed a song that was playing on the radio earlier. Loneliness settling on my mind.What if J had found another black haired beauty to waste his time on and that’s why he never came home. I bit my nail feeling nauseous. He wouldn’t do that.. would he? He was often unpredictable and sometimes blatantly mean… I laid down resisting the urge to smash everything in the god damn room. “Shhh” I said rubbing my temples. “Where is my doll huh?” I heard a loud voice boom. I sat up first only seeing his green hair and then the silver grill. I smiled blushing slightly at his seeming happiness to see me. I raised my hand waving as he walked towards the coach. 

He took a big swing of my coffee cringing. “Hmm” he said looking down into the glass. “A little spicy for this time of day don’t ya think pretty?” I laughed getting up to hug him. He returned it immediately. “Whatcha been up too maniac?” I said gentle running my hand through his hair. He purred smiling lazily.”I got something I want to talk to ya about” My smile faded but his stayed put my hands dropped to their sides “Well what’s wrong is it about business? I can help out. Really I can” I became frantic and grabbed the sides of his face hoping this isn’t when he tells me about a girl named Jessica who rocks his world. He held my hands in his clicking his tongue and rolling his neck. “Oh no no no doll nothing like that. Follow me.” He stuck out his hand waiting for me to grab it a honest look in his eyes, one I had never seen. Hesitantly I grabbed his hand and he led me to the buisness wing of the mansion we shared. I was never allowed in this part of the house. J always told me while holding my chin lightly with one finger “I don’t want my pretty thing seeing all the ugly things we do here” then he would kiss my cheek and walk away. “Hey are you sure this is  good idea” I pipped in becoming weary of the situation. He chuckled nodding his head.

We came to the big wooden door that lead to his office. He looked at me with a devilish smile and pushed open the door. I closed my eyes expecting to see a hlf naked girl with a machine gun strapped a crossed her chest. “Open your eyes maniac” I heard him say softly. Finally I worked up the nerve planning my reaction. I would kill her obviously, by taking the scissors off of the desk and jamming them in her throat before she even had time to pull the trigger. My blue eyes opened and I was met with a different sight. There were pink streamers coating his office along side balloons and a giant cake. Presents littered the floor around the cake like a Christmas tree. I squealed jumping on J throwing my arms around him. “Thank you Thank you Thank you!” He stroked my back smiling. “Anything for you” I stepped inside of the room and was met by Frost who was wearing a pink birthday hat on his head. He handed my a gold card and slightly smiled. “Happy birthday Mrs. Y/n” I took the card graciously making sure not to hug him. It would have been a shame for Frosty to be shot on my birthday. J snaked around me “Open your presents Doll” I looked t all of them my hands itching to rip them all open. “Yes daddy” I said obediently. 

Originally posted by melaniesdollhouse