this has been sitting in my drafts for about a month

The first year was absolutely unbearable. Every time I saw or heard your name, I fell apart. I couldn’t listen to music without my throat swelling up. The aching pain in my heart was constant. Everything reminded me of you. I thought drinking heavily with my anti-anxiety medication would help me cope. It didn’t. I don’t remember much. It was all a blur of careless laughter followed by intense moments of sobbing and self-harm.


The second year, it started getting slightly better. I taught myself how to play our favorite song even though I knew you’d never hear me play it. I quit using anti-anxiety meds and hard liquor. I still had days when I refused to believe I would never see or touch you again, but I was starting to grow accustomed to letting go. I had a lot of dreams about you. They began turning into nightmares as my brain finally allowed itself to process and accept how toxic we were for each other in the end.


The third year, I still have dreams about you. I forget most of them, but the ones I remember make me think and dream about you for a week straight. I’ll think of an inside joke sometimes and just laugh while shaking my head. I don’t feel like dying anymore when I hear your name, our songs, or when I see our favorite movies on TV. I still wish you a happy birthday even though you’ll never hear it or realize I even remembered or cared.
 
I’m finally accepting you’ll always be a part of me, so I’d better stop hurting myself over it and move on.

—  My healing process
Name Games

Pairing: Reader x Jeonghan
Genre: fluff??? friends-to-lovers
Summary: You and Jeonghan use nicknames for each other all the time. But recently, he’s been using one that you makes you feel a certain type of way. 
Word count: 1,971
A/N: This is just nonsense. Also sorry for the terrible title again I think I’m just doomed to shitty titles for the rest of my life

Jeonghan and you were very fond of nicknames. It had very quickly become a staple of your friendship. Light playfulness and excessive teasing just came in the package. There seemed to be a new one every month; sometimes they were witty observations about the other, or they were just dumb. Usually, it was the latter. More often than not, you were the one firing off at him; Fabio, Lucifer, and Sleeping Beauty had been a few of your favourites. Usually, he just called you his fool, or Pabo, or his muffinhead. They were always harmless.

This month, however, he had a new one for you. ‘Babe, can you come over today? I’m lonely.’ That’d be the first time. 'Babe, I’m bored, can we go to the park?’ You’d tried not to think about it too much. 'Babe, can you buy me an ice cream? I left my wallet at home'… 'Ah, babe, that’s not fair!'… 'Thank you, babe!'… You could’ve ignored it, if it didn’t happen so often. You didn’t exactly how why it bothered you so much. It shouldn’t. It was just another nickname. Right? It had started as a joke, after all. A mutual acquaintance had said that the two of you looked good together, and Jeonghan had never stopped teasing you for it. Hence, he’d started using that cursed nickname.It was just a stupid word, but it bothered you so much. That in itself annoyed you more than anything else.

“Jeonghan,” you moaned, snatching your phone off him. “You’re going to clog my camera roll.”
“Yes, but they’re pictures of me,” he drawled. “That’s far better than anything else that you could take a photo of.”
You snorted, swiping through the dozens of identical selfies of Jeonghan. “Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that.”
“Oh, you wound me,” he grasped at his heart dramatically, giving you a pitiful look.
“Oh, shut up,” you laughed, knocking him with your shoulder. “You’ll survive.”
“You should be kinder to me,” he smirked. “I know too much.”
“Well, I guess that’s true,” you chuckled, pressing the ‘bin’ icon on your screen.
“Hey!” Jeonghan whined, trying to grab your phone.  
“They’re all the same!” You laughed, trying to push him away with your free hand.
“No they’re not! They’re all subtly different.”
“Jeonghan.”
“Yes?”
“Do I look like I care?”
“You truly are heartless.”
You smiled, leaning to rest your head on his shoulder. “That’s rich, coming from you.”
“You are on the offensive today,” he teased, wriggling the phone out of your hands. You let him have it. “Come now, let’s take a photo together.” He said, holding your phone up to get his ‘Best Angle’.  
“Why?”
“Because I enjoy indulging my vanity.”
“I don’t.”
“Shh, just take the photo.”
“I don’t look good today.”
“You look pretty, babe, don’t worry about it.”

You felt your cheeks heat up. There was that word again. You didn’t have much time to think before smiling for the photo.

Jeonghan looked down at the photo with a smile on his face. “Ah, you’re so cute, babe.”

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anonymous asked:

can you rec some poetry about girls who love girls?

sorry this is took me so long to get to ya! i’ve had a busy month. this is real quick & dirty bc this has been sitting in my drafts 4 ever & if i don’t post it now i never will. love u xoxo!

i also invite u guys to check out glitter tongue which is an online collection of love poems by lgbt poets

Uncomfortable

Characters: Andy Biersack/You

Band: Black Veil Brides

telarnidaniela suggested: y/n confides in ashley when a secruity guard from the tour has been making her feel uncomfterble and getting too touchy feely and she doesn’t know what to do and andy finds out

A/N: WOW, this has been sitting in my drafts for a while. I apologize for the lack of imagines recently; I’ve been super busy studying for finals and everything :/ Butttt, school ends this Friday, so after that, I’ll have a lot more time to write for you guys! Thanks for sticking with me :)

Black Veil Brides had been touring for about 3 months now, and you were tagging along with them. You had started to date Andy a little over a year ago, so of course he asked you to come along with him on tour.

After a concert one night, you and the band were just sitting around in the tour bus chatting. Andy had left to go to the bathroom, so you took this opportunity to talk to someone about something that had been bothering you for a while.

“Hey, Ash, can we talk outside for a sec?” you asked, standing up.

“Oh, uh, yeah of course,” he nodded, following you out of the bus. “What’s going on?” he wondered when the door had closed, turning around to face you.

“Um, well, you know Steve, right?” you questioned, wanting to make sure he knew who you were talking about before you complained.

“The security guard? Yeah, I know him. What about him?” he replied.

“He’s just, uh, been making me feel kinda…uncomfortable,” you muttered, looking anywhere but at Ashley. Now that you were saying this out loud, you realized how stupid you must sound.

Ashley didn’t seem to think it sounded stupid, though. He tilted his head and said, “In what way?”

“I dunno, it just seems like he’s been taking every opportunity to touch me…like, yesterday, I was walking backstage before the show to meet up with Andy, and he bumped into me in the hallway and grabbed my ass. Like, actually grabbed it, not just brushed it. And it’s happened more than once,” you explained, sighing heavily. You didn’t want to be making a big deal out of nothing, but you were beginning to grow tired of being harassed.

Ashley frowned. “Really? I wish I knew…do you want me to say something to him?”

“I don’t really see what that will do. He’s not going to listen to you; I’ve already asked him to stop, but he hasn’t,” you groaned, rolling your eyes. “I just want it to stop,” you whispered the last part, pressing your lips together.

“Hey, it’ll be okay,” Ashley assured you, coming over to you and hugging you. .You hugged back, glad for his support. “I’ll tell Andy, and he can-”

“No,” you interrupted, pulling away and looking into Ashley’s eyes. “You can’t tell him. I don’t want him to know.”

“Don’t want who to know what?” you heard a voice say. You jumped in surprise and turned to see Andy standing there, crossing his arms. He looked accusingly at you and Ashley, and you suddenly realized what he thought must be going on.

“Nothing,” Ashley said, shaking his head.

“Really?” Andy asked. “Cuz if you don’t tell me, I’m pretty sure I can connect the dots on my own.”

“Ash, it’s okay. I’ll just tell him,” you sighed, not wanting Andy to think that you were cheating on him.

“Okay, I’ll let you guys talk things out,” Ashley muttered, going back into the bus and leaving you and Andy alone.

“What’s going on, y/n?” Andy wondered, moving closer to you.

You took a deep breath before explaining everything that you had just told Ashley. Throughout your explanation, Andy’s facial expression depicted rage.

“How come you didn’t tell me that you were feeling uncomfortable?” he asked. “I could have done something to prevent you from feeling like that.”

“I didn’t want you to do anything you might regret later,” you explained, shrugging.

“C’mon, y/n. I’m never gonna regret keeping you safe.”

You blushed and nodded, realizing that there was no reason for you to worry in the first place about Andy knowing.

“First thing tomorrow morning, I’ll go up to Steve and ask him to stop. If he doesn’t agree, he’s gone. How does that sound?” Andy offered.

“Great,” you smiled, hugging him. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course,” he chuckled, hugging you back and squeezing you lightly.

I didn’t really know how to end this?? I hope this is sufficient…


Request here

Headcanon: Taiyang understands Yang’s want to shut down after all that’s happened to her (he did the same thing after Summer’s death). So he gives Yang her space. But soon after Ruby leaves he realizes that it is time that his eldest daughter starts to heal (not fade into the background and watch friends leave like he did).

So he starts coming in to talk to her more(”how are you feeling today, kiddo? Want pie?”). Tries to get her out of bed to do something other than go to the bathroom (”you can’t just lay here, firecracker”). He gets her to take Zwei out on walks (sometimes he’ll find her softly smiling at the corgi’s antics). They start having meals at the table. One night Tai makes a pretty good dad joke and Yang actually laughs for the first time in months (”that was terrible!”).

He offers to start up her training again(“only if you feel up to it”). And continues to do so until one day she agrees to just watch him practice (”just for a bit”). Eventually they work up to having daily runs and workouts together. Yang joins in with his practices after realizing he can’t improve just by training with himself (after all, they only have each other right now). A week of this passes before they restart her own training.

There’s a day where she can’t lay a single hit on him and she keeps swinging a punch with the arm that’s not there. She gets frustrated, embarrassed and angry and goes in for the charge when she stops herself (she remembers what charging in with a blind rage did last time). She takes a step back and calms herself, then attacks. She is able to land a few good hits after that and Tai gives her two thumbs up and a wide grin despite his bloody nose.

Yang begins to contribute to conversations with Tai more. They talk a lot. About Ruby (who often sends letters). Qrow(who rarely sends anything). Mom (both of them). Weiss. Blake (”she must have had a reason, Yang.” ”…I know.”). The school. Penny. Pyrrha. Her arm.

Yang decides not to get a mechanical arm just yet. She wants to be able to accept and live with what has happened to her and fully heal (”before patching it up with a metal bandaid”). Taiyang agrees (and thinks she’s gonna be alright).

After a couple months of grueling practices and heart pouring discussions, Yang feels safe to say that she is getting better and even tells Tai that. He smiles proudly and hugs her (”dad, i can’t breathe!”) before letting her go to take Zwei out for his daily walk.

He begins the countdown for when she will also have to leave (because in the end, she didn’t need him anymore).

(and the world needed her more than he did).

so i’ve been writing a story about a group of people struggling with acceptance in a world that does not approve of their lifestyle. Initially, I wrote the main characters as vampires, but decided early on that I wanted to write something more relatable. 

However, now I’m not so sure about that decision. I think having the main characters as vampires would add an interesting element to the story, which lends itself well to the legendarium of vampires specifically.

In conclusion, this is what I’ve decided:

I’m revamping my manuscript

Writing a Novel: Chapter 1

If you’ve been following my blog awhile, you know that this summer I am writing a novel. I intend to have a draft done by the end of summer. I don’t have a plan. It might not be great, but after a year of writing only short stories, I need a few months of writing something different. Be sure to check out the rest of my “Writing a Novel” series

Starting such a huge project can often feel daunting. It can feel like no opening line is going to be good enough to start this off well. There are a few things to take comfort in. Like how your opening line will probably change while you’re editing. Your first chapter might change too. A lot will probably change. So that takes some of the pressure off. It doesn’t have to be absolutely amazing the first time sit down to start writing. It just might feel like it has to. 

  • Start by establishing the character. Who is this story about? If it’s not about the character telling the story, try at least to get the character it is about into the story pretty quickly. Like in The Great Gatsby, Nick Carraway explains within the first few sentences that this story is about Gatsby and not himself. If you’ve just started, you probably don’t know the character all that well. Get to know them.
  • Lay seeds for plot. Even if you don’t know where the story is going, if you have something of a premise, drop hints that there are things to come. If not all hints pan out into something you want to use, you can edit them later. Give yourself room to explore this story. 
  • Decide the setting. The whole story doesn’t have to be set there, but in chapter one, it’s going to show the reader how to approach this story. Like in Harry Potter, it starts in Little Whinging, a Muggle town that is by all means normal and ordinary. If Harry Potter started at Hogwarts, the reader would start the book already in the realm of fantasy. By starting in Little Whinging, Harry Potter is not a portal world book, but a book that shows magic in that is hidden in our very real world. 

You Were the Song Stuck in my Head

Description: SugarDaddy!Phil loves to shower his baby boy, Dan in gifts and pleasures.

Tags: Fingering; Anal Sex; Prostate Massager; D/S Dynamics (which are my initials fml); Daddy Kink

A/N: Wrote half of this with a bloody nose fml. I saw this and I swear to god the first thing I thought was sugar daddy and I screamed because this has been in my drafts for months. You finally gave me the boost to finish so thanks bae. Enjoy. ಥ⌣ಥ

I - II

expert: Phil only smirked and placed his hand in Dan’s. “So, I was thinking long and hard about this.” Dan rolled his eyes at the pun and Phil pushed the bedroom door open.

“I like you Dan. A lot. You’re sexy and adorable and all that stuff and I need someone. Essentially, in my life.”

“Where is this going Phil?”

Phil huffs and pushes Dan to his back on the bed. He straddles Dan’s tights and sits.“I want to be your sugar daddy.” Phil admits, his cheeks growing red.

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When The Day Met The Night

Summary: Dan Howell is what every high school student aspires to be. A player on the football team and invited to every party within a 10 mile radius, Dan doesn’t have much to complain about. Everyone knows who Dan Howell is. Until someone doesn’t. Phil, an artist with dark hair and a paint-stained leather jacket. He’s alternative, he’s different. But maybe Dan needs something a little different.

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Warnings: Swearing (warnings/triggers will vary from chapter to chapter)

Word Count: 1861

A/N: So basically this is my first chaptered fic. *celebratory music* This is something I’ve been wanting to write for awhile and I’m finally doing it. The updates will probably be a bit slow do to me currently being in school but I’ll try to post as much as possible. Also I know they don’t have American Football in the UK but for this just pretend they do. Anyway, thanks so much for reading. Enjoy!! xx

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anonymous asked:

unpopular opinion on Fenris?

Been sitting in my drafts for months. I find it very annoying how fandom either depicts Fenris as a pure cinnamon roll or as a swearing yelling asshole who is obsessed with fighting with anders.

Don’t get me wrong, Fenris is absolutely an asshole. He’s just completely different kind of asshole than people portray him as.

For starters, he doesn’t yell. He raises his voice like couple of times at most, when dealing with emotional subjects from his past, like Hadriana. He doesn’t yell at  Anders. Or at anyone in the party, for that matter. He doesn’t swear in common language. His entire big *thing* is that he keeps a calm appearance no matter how angry he is. He has a separate perk in his ability tree about that, for fuck’s sake: “Fenris maintains an appearance of calm, but it is only a facade. Every wound he takes stirs at his deeply buried resentment, increasing his attack damage.”

He’s not the yelling\swearing kind of asshole. He’s a sarcastically dismissive kind of asshole, who will disregard your feelings and harp on the worst consequences of your actions. He’s distantly judgemental in a pretty specific way, where he judges your actions, but rarely with anger, as if he never expected anything good from you anyway.

It’s actually Anders, while namecalling Fenris behind his back with maniac and wild dog and whatnot, who keeps trying to change Fenris’ opinion, to *prove* he’s not weak.

  • Anders: By now, you must see what an injustice the templars are.
  • Fenris: Must I? I see templars trying to control what they have good reason to fear.
  • Anders: But they go too far.
  • Fenris: Talk to Hawke about his/her mother. Ask him/her who went “too far.”
  • Anders: You can’t hold all mages responsible for that!
  • Fenris: It doesn’t take all mages to cause this. Only the weak ones.

───────

  • Anders: Not all mages are weak.

(If Hawke is a mage)

  • Fenris: True. Hawke, for instance, is not weak.

(Otherwise)

  • Fenris: Bethany, for instance, was not weak.
  • Anders: You specifically don’t mention me.
  • Fenris: That’s also true.
  • Anders: I’ll prove to you that I’m not weak
  • Fenris: Prove it to yourself. You’re convincing no one else.

I mean, Fenris is all “lmao, by all means, drag yourself.” He literally has no fucks to give about Anders. No, the person he’s really being a top-tier jerk to is Merrill. And he doesn’t hate her because she’s a mage, oh no.

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ladyvehk  asked:

Prompt: Ellana and Solas during Inquisition, taking a happy moment to dance goofily with each other :) or any other instance of them just being silly and enjoying each other's company.

The ball at the Winter Palace approaches, and there isn’t a soul in the keep who feels it as keenly the Inquisitor – it’s clear to Solas from the nervous wringing of her hands, and how she can’t seem to focus on the conversation in front of her, her answers brief and her attention fleeting.At first he thinks it’s the impending assassination that’s got her so consumed – the thought of Corypheus’ ever-tightening grip around the South, and the future their failure will herald.

But then – “It’s the dancing,” Ellana admits, slender fingers interlaced and knuckles pressed to the small of her back, a familiar gesture of nervousness, and her expression is endearingly woeful. “I might be a little…rusty. Josie was joking about arranging for a tutor.” But then she pauses, expression contorting with something akin to horror. “On second thought, I think she might have been serious.”

The idea is impulsive, lightly teasing, but he’s damned by the sight of her – the nervous purse of her lips, and the way she keeps shifting her weight, as though digging through her memories for old steps and older songs – and, “There is no need for that,” Solas hears himself saying, hearing tunes older still, and a hundred steps to a hundred different dances sitting like an itch in his legs.

He’s offering his hand before he’s had time to question the desire, and for a split second he’s afraid she’ll see all the years implied in the gesture – the slight bend of his shoulders and the question that sits in the very tips of his fingers, his palm open and held before her.

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8

“18″ - ziam university/parallel universe AU!meme
(story grossly inspired from Orange by Takano Ichigo) - by jaesama

*Trigger Warning* Deals with serious issues like depression and thoughts of suicide/death.

September 21st 2011:
To the 18-year-old me, if you’re reading this letter then it means he was right all along. I’m writing to you from ten years in the future. If you’re thinking this is some stupid joke (and because I know myself very well, I know you will).. it’s not. Whether you choose to believe me is up to you…but what I’m about to ask of you is very important, so please listen
. The 28-year old me walked away with many, many regrets. The reason I’m writing this is because I don’t want the 18-year old me to live a lifetime with those regrets. It’s already too late for me, but maybe outside of this hellish reality, there is second chance for you.. and for him. Please don’t let the precious things slip away so easily.

Because ten years from now, he is no longer here.

..To the 18-year-old me,
 I leave Liam to you.”

Zayn Malik is a first year university student just trying to make it through school. His life suddenly turns around when he receives a letter written from himself, but 10 years in the future. At first he believes that it’s some kind of sick joke, but when the contents of the letter start to come true, he realizes it’s anything but. The letter is centered around a name he’d soon never forget; Liam, a transfer student who gets seated in front of Zayn. To his surprise, Liam is nothing like what he expected. He’s childish, nosy, and not very bright in the slightest so he wonders why he should care at all? Maybe this was just a waste of time. Maybe in this parallel universe, they were meant to be strangers…or maybe something much more.

Playlist: 01.“(Un)Lost” by The Maine // 02. “Compass” by Zella Day // 03. “I Will Follow You Into the Dark” by Death Cab for Cutie // 04. “Stolen” by Dashboard Confessional // 05. “Don’t Deserve You” by Plumb // 06. “All Those Friendly People” by Funeral Suits // 07. “Latch (cover)” by Natalie Taylor// 08. “Love Like This (acoustic)” by Kodaline// 09. “The Devil Within” by Digital Daggers// 10. “Fresh Pair of Eyes” by Brooke Waggoner// 11. “Awake My Soul” by Mumford & Sons// 12. “Kids” by Mikky Ekko//

so my gf and i were in the middle of the university campus and this lady walked by and led us to this great dialogue

my girlfriend: this lady that just passed us looks alot like your girlfriend

me: ?????? why are you talking about yourself in the 3rd person???

my gf in a very neutral chill tone: oh no, not me. your other girlfriend, maggie sawyer