this has been in my drafts for god knows how long

shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.

EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.

So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.  

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/Montco_principal_apologizes_for_having_swinger_entrepreneur_speak_to_kids.html

AU MASTER LIST

So here is a bunch of AU’s that I’ve collected over…. a long time. Enjoy

Awkward Meetings

  • I broke your nose in a mosh pit, sorry
  • I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital, this is sort of awkward, are you okay?
  • You’re getting chased by the police and you just jumped in my car and yelled drive, wtf man
  • You just punched me in the face while gesturing wildly to a friend, your friend can’t stop laughing and im too shocked to respond to your apologies
  • You laughed in a restaurant, but your laugh is really weird and I thought you were choking so I’m awkwardly humping you while attempting to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre and why isn’t this working, you’re just choking harder now this is aweful
  • We met on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame
  • I get really sick on roller-coasters and you are sitting in front of me, im so sorry
  • You’re the bastard who keeps parking in front of my house and you just caught me drawing a dick on your window with a permanent marker… ugh, oops.
  • I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold another fucking shirt and just leave it, I’m going to fucking shove it down your throat
  • You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friends place and I should call the cops by my cat likes you so????
  • You’re my new dealer and you just friended me on Facebook and idk how to react to that
  • You saw me reading the same book you are and now we are arguing about the motives of the antagonist
  • This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and  you’re deathly afraid of flying. 
  • I got into a cab to find someone already inside
  • You thought I was your friend/sister
  • Holy shit, im in the wrong car.
  • I was walking by a roller coaster and your shoe flew off and hit me in the head and now I’m on the floor trying not to fall unconscious.
  • It’s 2am and I’m drunk and I need some salt for my fries and I know your awake so OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR
  • You fell asleep on me in the subway and I should probably wake you up and its my stop next stop but it’s okay, I can always just catch the subway back…
  • I know nothing about camping and all my friends left me at the site. Please, help me, I think I just heard a bear
  • This has been a shitty week and you just grabbed the last box of my favourite comfort food from the shelf, do you really want to fight me rn?
  • We met in a movie theatre and now you’re clinging to me because your terrified and I’m okay with that because it means I get your popcorn.
  • You had a party and I got really drunk and stole your microwave, so now I’m at your place and your super hungover so here, I made breakfast?

Neighbour/Roomate

  • The guy living below me has a really loud alarm clock that always wakes me up at the crack of dawn
  • I went to investigate a scream and found my neighbour standing on a chair to avoid a rat/mouse/cricket (etc.)
  • My neighbour has a really squeaky bed and my bedroom is below theirs
  • You keep stealing my doormat and HAH, I’ve got you this time thief!
  • The apartment above me has left their tap on or something and water is leaking through my ceiling
  • My neighbour’s sibling got the wrong house number and barged into my apartment on accident.
  • My roommate keeps stealing my coffee so now I make extra 
  • You’re my new neighbour and wow man, you have some really weird habits.
  • You’re my neighbour and you are stealing my wifi to watch porn and can you not?
  • You locked yourself outside of your apartment and there’s a storm rolling in and I pity you so please come into my apartment I’ll make you hot chocolate?
  • I heard you singing at 3 am and joined in and now you’re at my door and wtf mate I think your drunk but your voice is really nice so?
  • I just set the fire alarm in our building off again… sorry. I know its like the fourth time this week…
  • You keep mowing your lawn when I’m trying to sleep and seriously FUCK YOU
  • My new neighbour is really hot and wow I didn’t even like women until now? And now she is in the garden planting flowers in her bikini wow… im in too deep
  • It’s 3 am and you’re blasting off classic rock at full volume and your music taste might be awesome but soME PEOPLE are trying to sLEEP
  • We’ve never met but we shower at the same time and our showers are on opposite sides of the same apartment wall so sometimes we start duets?

Pets

  • I’m out walking and my dog started chasing your dog. 
  • My cat/dog ran away and you just found it but refuse to accept the reward. 
  • We are neighbours and your cat got my cat pregnant… so, wanna raise this little kitty family?
  • My pet tarantula/snake (etc) escaped and I forgot to warn the guy below me who is terrified of snakes/spiders
  • I need you to pet sit my pet for a while and I forgot to mention it’s a snake, the mice are in the freezer. Thanks, bye
  • My cat really hates you cat and that’s the third time this week I’ve had to pry them apart.
  • My cat keeps breaking into your apartment and it ate all your plants… dinner to make up for it?
  • My cat sneaked out on the balcony and into your open window and he has this habit of destroying furniture and pissing everywhere so I followed him inside and you cam home earlier than I expected and found me in the middle of your living room and honestly I’m not a burglar
  • Your dog likes me a thousand times better than she likes your partner and sorry not sorry I love this dog
  • You were walking your dog when you found me passed out on a park bench and thank you for waking me up and buying coffee instead of stealing my wallet

Music

  • I’m on a bus and wow, you’re singing really loudly and everyone is giving you weird looks, hey bud, tone it down, also great choice in music
  • You play Double Bass/Cello and I play 1st chair Violin and we keep making eye contact and damn your super cute.
  • You play in an orchestra and I love these songs so much, plus you’re really cute. Shit man, you’ll never notice me in the huge crowd…
  • Music is kinda illegal and my friend just died and apparently he wrote music and wow I want to know what it sounds like and to play it at his funeral but I don’t know how to. You’re a well-known music dealer, do you happen to understand these notes? Can you help me?
  • I tried to act cool at this concert and I thought I was leaning on a wall but apparently it was a speaker and now it’s on the ground in pieces and everyone’s glaring at me… sorry?

Supernatural

  • I’m a wizard and I just accidently apparated into your house. Oops.
  • I died over 2000 years ago and you’ve been dead for like 2 hours, man, damn it now I have to explain this shit to you. Great.
  • I’m immortal and you’re mortal and I don’t know how to explain this to you and soon enough you’re going to realise that I’m not aging… shiiittt
  • You’re a greek god and I’m the roman counterpart. 
  • I’m a ghost and your alive and I think I’m in love with you…. Fuck. 
  • You’re a faun and I’m a Satry
  • I’m half demon and people often judge me based on my looks, but your blind and wow you actually like me? 
  • I’m a time traveller and I went back in time and wow I think I’m in love with you, fuck this isn’t good, I just faked being George Washington… wait what? George Washington doesn’t exist here? Shit… I actually am George Washington.
  • I’m a writer and your my character and wtf how the heck did you just literally climb out of my first draft? 
  • I’m a werewolf but I don’t want to tell you because my wolf form might be that really small chihuahua you keep mentioning you see when I go out…
  • I’m an android and you’re a human and wow what is that warmth I feel when I see you?
  • I’m a homesick telepath and you’re the poor soul who is receiving all these emotions, sorry
  • Somehow I’m in your body and you’re in mine and shit man being this close to the ground is fucked up.
  • I’m a genie an d you rubbed my lamp so congrats you get three wishes but you can’t seem to think of shit and why the fuck do I have to be stuck with you? Hurry up and think of some wishes okay?
  • I was an awful angel and as punishment I have to be your guardian angel and wow your super cute and nice but I still hate you
  • You keep having strange dreams that turn out to be us in a past life and you’re determined to fine me again but in this life I’m already dead.
  • We live in the year 3090, you’re a scientist and I’m your assistant. Unfortunately and experiment goes wrong and I die. Now you’re trying to put my brain into a robot but its not the same
  • I’m a vampire and I have a moment of weakness, you’re nearby and lets just say it doesn’t end well
  • I’m a dragon and you’re a really hot prince, that’s right, they locked up the wrong royalty.
  • You’re a pirate and I’m a siren and woah… are you asexual? That’s so cool, hey wait, don’t go I just want to talk
  • Your mirror is a doorway into my dimension and I can see everything…. 
  • Listen I am genetically modified and you WILL let me hide in your house
  • Ok, so I panicked and kissed this human so he wouldn’t drown. And I know you don’t want me to keep him, and we can’t let him leave if he knows about us mere people so what do you want to do?

School/College

  • I just got partnered with you in dance class and I can’t dance for shit
  • You’re my science lab partner and how the fuck did you just explode that beaker?
  • I’m an art student and you just found my sketchbook and you’re going through it. Shit man can you give that back, I don’t care how good you think they are just don’t turn that page…
  • You’re the school dork and I’m the school jock and fuck you can see where this is going
  • We are the only two kids who ride this school bus, maybe we should carpool?
  • I thought you were my roomies new boyfriend so I invited you in but your actually the RA of the dorm and now you think I want to have sex with you
  • I accidently flooded the laundry room and you really need to do laundry
  • You’re sitting in my seat in this lecture and who even are you? I’ve never seen you before… wait what, stop checking me out!
  • We argued so much during a class discussion that we both got kicked out and we’re still arguing outside the class
  • You left your USB in the library computer and I had to go through your files to figure out who you are and in the end I read the entirety of this book you’re working on and wow you’re really good?
  • I’m a traditional painter who has to take a basic Photoshop class, you’re a graphic design major sitting next to me and getting sucked into helping me out because Im so shitty at this
  • My pottery bowl exploded in the kiln and I feel like a failure, you found me crying about it in the hallway and are now trying to comfort me and your sweater is really soft wow sorry
  • You and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and fuck it I’m trying to study over her so fuck you I’m going to put an end to this game by winning 
  • We are both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from student and you’ve won for the past three years
  • Romeo and Juliet of the math and English departments 
  • I want to get along with you roomie… but I like star wars… and you like star trek… this isn’t going to work.
  • I usually talk to my friends through morse code in class but… apparently you know morse too… and now you know I think your butt is cute
  • I got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and now I’m being adopted by someone who is really hot OH FUCKING NO

Near Death Experiences

  • Wow I was just in a fatal accident and who the hell are you? What is this I’m I dying? Wait no, I don’t want this, how do I get out of it? A deal you say, I’ll take it.
  • You’re an executioner and I’m about to be executed but you can’t seem to run the guillotine, wait what, why are we running away, man you’re my favourite executioner
  • Our plane/boat crashed and now it’s just us on this island. 
  • I just took a super dangerous job and your trying to talk me out of it, but we really need the money
  • It’s the middle of a war and I’m on a ship that you’re ship just torpedoed. Now I’m a prisoner and wow why can’t I feel my legs. I’m not cooperating until I can feel them again. What the fuck do you mean I’m paralysed?
  • I’m addicted to ____ (drugs/alcohol etc) and you found me in an alleyway due to after effects of my addiction (beat up, overdose etc) and decide to take me in.
  • I sold my soul to bring you back to life and I don’t have long left please make this time count

Mistaken and Secret Identities

  • I’m  a thief/hacker/murder and you’ve found out my identity and have been bugging me for days to take you on as your partner
  • I’m a superhero and you want to be like me but in doing so become a supervillain, what do you mean you don’t understand why I’m punching you?
  • I’m a superhero, you’re a supervillain, but we don’t know each other’s identities and we are actually best friends
  • I’m runaway royalty and you’re a commoner, fuck I’m so screwed I need your help, I’ll explain later
  • You think I’m a celebrity and you’re talking too much for me to explain I am defintely not… that dude. What was his name again?
  • You’re a superhero and I’m your best friend and what the fuck man? Why the hell didn’t you tell me? If you had maybe I would be fucking caught with this stupid ass monologue-ing villain
  • I have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err… your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour's…
  • I’m a superhero and you’re a supervillain and I saw you visiting kids at the children’s hospital and letting them act like they defeated you and now it’s really hard to punch you in the face

Profession Based

  • Your my mailman and I can’t help but notice that you linger at my door slightly longer than you need to ever since you saw me that one time. Do you want to come inside?
  • I’m a private detective and your my client and fuck man you’re in some deep shit
  • You’re a protester and I’m a police officer. Seriously can you please calm down a little bit, this is my job not my  beliefs.
  • I’m a make-up artist/hair stylist and I you’re an actor/model and are you flirting or???
  • You’re a celebrity and sorry mate, I have to take pictures to pay rent, I know its invasive seriously, sorry
  • You’re a store clerk and fuck, is that my ex? Can I please hide behind this counter?
  • You’re a lifeguard at my kid’s swimming competition and I fell in the pool with all my clothes on and you awkwardly tried to save me even though I didn’t need it.
  • You work at a pet store and I came in to look at tarantulas but somehow we lost the biggest one and its loose somewhere in the store and it really doesn’t help that you’re terrified of spiders
  • I’m a firefighter and you started a fire in your kitchen but you’re still flirting with me even though you’re not wearing pants and I’m carrying you down a ladder. Stop complimenting my muscles for fucks sake
  • We work at the same company and I kind of had a crush on you until I noticed that you’re the asshole stealing my lunch from the office fridge.
  • I’m a firefighter and you live near the station I work at and we talk/flirt with each other a lot. One day me and my team get called to put out a fire and it’s your home ablaze. You don’t make it.
  • I work at a fruit store and you come in almost every day and rearrange stuff on the shelves and then leave. Today you made the apples spell ‘call me’
  • It’s 2am and I was just trying to get home but I left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and I drove into a pole - stop laughing! You’re a cop, aren’t you supposed to be helping?
  • You’re drunk and want my name tattooed on your ass.
  • You always bring your dates to the restaurant I wait at and now you’re here alone… you okay mate?

Winter Times

  • It’s snowing and I usually walk to work but that’s not happening, hey roomie, can you please drive me? Yes I know its 4am
  • I accidently gave all my winter clothes to charity over the summer and not its not so much summer, but I’m broke and hey… could you give me your old winter clothes… maybe?
  • I love the cold, but I promised to visit you for a good 4 months and wow, why did I do this? There isn’t snow here?
  • I don’t know you, but you just threw a snowball at my face, mate, its on.
  • I don’t know who the hell you are, but my roommate has someone over and It’s really cold outside…. Can I come in? Or like, have a blanket, or even a towel?

Old Friends

  • I knew you in high school and I ran into you at a renaissance fair wearing full knight regalia
  • I met you once when I was 12, we started a pen-pal relationship across the world and haven’t stopped even though we are a lot older now. 
  • You were my best friend when we were younger but your family moved to the other side of the world, and we haven’t talked in years. But now your back and wow how did you recognise me when I can’t even remember your name?

Fake Dating

  • I hired you to be my date for a wedding but your super cute, maybe we cannot fake-date? 
  • I’m fake dating you to have someone to vent to on family gatherings while also pissing off my conservative uncle that I never liked and wow… have your eyes always been this nice?
  • We’re both cosplayers and we somehow always manage to meet each other at cons dressed as a popular ship and people always want photos of us in compromising positions and so we always end up fake-dating the entire day but you’re actually really hot and I’m head over heels for you
  • My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex, quick make out with me, I’ll pay you.

Miscellaneous

  • I’m blind and wow your voice is absolutely beautiful can you just keep talking? Forever? Please?
  • My younger sibling is besties with your sibling and even though we hate each other I guess we’ve got to start hanging out a little
  • We are both at a grocery store at am and you offered to arm wrestle me for the last box of cereal, its on!
  • You’re sleeping on my best friend’s couch while your house is being renovated and you have really weird habits like attempting to sing opera in the shower and you keep eating all my Nutigrain 
  • We bump into each other every Friday at the supermarket to buy the same ice-cream and maybe we should eat it together?
  • Our parents are dating and thank god I’m not the only one pissed off about this
  • I went to museum to get some inspiration and then I saw you staring at one of the paintings in awe and wow you just noticed me drawing you and this is awkward
  • I decide to take a shortcut home that involves crawling through a really tight hole in a fence and I end up getting stuck and you just happened to pass by and now you’re laughing at me
  • I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because I could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly
  • We are trapped in a bank during a robbery
  • Your country is trying to take over mine and I might be a little attracted to you and stop this it’s really hard to retaliate okay?
  • I was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me

anonymous asked:

What do you think about an “i picked up your bag at the airport but i can’t find your number so i’m about to embark on the largest scavenger hunt of all time by using your strange belongings to track you down” au with charmer or nurseydex or zimbits or something??

Well, I don’t know if you expected three mini fics, and I didn’t fully follow the prompt, but here we are.

1. Charmer

Look, Chris knew it was dumb. He knew that everyone on earth had a plain black suitcase, he knew he should have double-checked the luggage tag, he knew it was important to be sure abut these things. But knowing what he should have done couldn’t help him when he finally got his suitcase home and opened it up to find mostly yoga pants and sundresses. 

Fuck.

He zipped the bag back up and flipped open the luggage tag. It was cute, pink with some metallic lettering saying “I’m outta here!” in a handwritten font. Chris blamed jetlag and the redeye flight for making him miss the fact that it wasn’t his Sharks tag. He blamed the bag’s owner for not filling out any of the information on the tag.

Dammit.

Well, sorry random girl, he thought. He opened the suitcase up again to try to see if he could find anything that would give him a clue as to who the suitcase owner was. He moved a makeup bag aside, and hit gold immediately. Well, Samwell red. A Women’s Volleyball tshirt– mystery suitcase girl had to be on the volleyball team.

“Hey Ransom!” he yelled. “You’re facebook friends with all the volleyball team right?”

“He’s friends with everyone on campus!” Holster yelled back.

“Ask their captain if anyone flew in from the Bay Area and lost their luggage!”

_X_

“Is Justin here? My captain said he’s got my suitcase.” Chris overheard her at the door. He grabbed the bag and started hauling it downstairs. As he set it down at the bottom and caught sight of the girl in the doorway, he froze. She was pretty. Like, really pretty. 

“Um, hi,” he said.

“So you’re Justin? Oh my god, I’m so glad it wasn’t some total rando who got my bag.” 

“I’m actually Chris, Justin was just the one who was friends with your captain. Um, I’m sorry, but I kind of had to look through your stuff? Your luggage tag wasn’t filled out.” The girl laughed.

“Yours wasn’t either! Me and my teammates were like one minute away from googling the record holder for most San Jose Sharks merch, but it totally makes sense that you’re on the hockey team.” 

“Since we both forgot to write our numbers down, maybe we should do that now?” Chris suggested. The girl grinned, grabbed his phone out of his hand, and opened up a new contact. She punched in a number, and when she handed it back he saw a text of several random emojis addressed to the new contact of “Caitlin Farmer” with a girl farmer emoji and a volleyball emoji.

“Text me sometime, and maybe we can get dinner?” she said, and she was gone with her suitcase. 

Chris collapsed on the couch, a dreamy look in his eyes.

“Chowder? You get your suitcase back?” Bitty called out from the kitchen.

“Yeah! and I think I’m in love now!”

2. Nurseydex

“Cheryl, I’m telling you, I had a ton of inspiration on the plane and I wrote some great stuff for act three. No. No, it wasn’t just me thinking it’s great because I popped some melatonin and got really sleepy. It’s like, legit. Yeah, I’ll send it over as soon as I get home and–”

Derek slammed into something. If he’d been holding his phone in his hand (bluetooth is a blessing when you drop stuff easily) it would have launched across the airport. As it was, his post-flight latte was soaking through the nice white shirt of the handsome stranger in front of him.

“Shit,” the stranger said, looking down to survey the damage.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have trusted myself to make a phone call and not be clumsy after such a long flight,” Derek said. He set his briefcase down and pulled a wad of napkins out of the outside pocket. The guy took a deep breath, going from murderous to calm in a few seconds. 

“I wasn’t looking where I was going either, it’s not your fault,” the guy said, setting down his own briefcase and accepting the napkins. He blotted at his shirt.

“Let me pay for the dry cleaning. Or a replacement,” Derek offered. The man shook his head.

“It’s fine, it probably needed to go to the cleaners anyways.” He checked his watch. “If I run, I can probably get a new one before my meeting.” He wadded the napkins into one big ball, picked up his briefcase, and walked towards the exit with a terse nod. Derek, feeling terrible about the whole thing, picked up his own briefcase and walked to baggage claim.

By the time he was reunited with his home office, a cozy bookshelf-lined room in his brownstone, he had almost forgotten about the coffee incident. He was focused on sending the manuscript to Cheryl. Unfortunately, that was going to be difficult, considering he pulled a PC laptop out of the bag instead of his Mac.

Derek stared at the computer for a full minute. He almost couldn’t believe that this was happening to him. Hesitantly, he opened the laptop. On one side of the keyboard there was a weird thing that a few seconds of phone googling told him was a fingerprint scanner. Shit. He hit the space bar experimentally. Something flashed on the screen, and then was replaced with just a plain black screen with red text: ACCESS DENIED

Derek swore. He started to look through the rest of what was in the briefcase, but was disappointed to find it empty except for the laptop’s charger, three packs of gum, and receipts from a lobster shack in Maine. Shit. Nothing in here would tell him anything about the redhead he’d launched a latte at. 

He closed the laptop dejectedly, ignored his editor’s text messages, and went into the kitchen to make himself lunch and feel sorry for himself. This was the universe punishing him for covering a cute guy with coffee. If he had just kept his focus and waited to call his editor later, he could have sent the draft along and saved it and not be desperately trying to remember his inspiration.

Just as the self-pity spiral was really taking off, the doorbell rang. Derek sighed, put down his tea, and walked to the door. When he opened it, it wasn’t Girl Scouts or Jehovah’s Witnesses, but the guy from the airport.

“Cancel whatever you’re doing today, I need to teach you the most basic principles of digital security,” the guy said, pushing past Derek into the dining room. He shoved a stack of papers onto a chair and pulled Derek’s laptop out.

“I’m Will, by the way, I make software that’s hopefully a step ahead of viruses.”

“Is the draft still there?”

“The draft of what?” The guy looked confused.

“My third act breakthrough. I’m a novelist, I need to get it to my editor and I couldn’t remember if I saved it,” Derek explained.

“You know you can set up an auto-save every five minutes or so, right?” Will asked.

“This might be surprising to you, but I’ve never had a cute guy storm into my house and yell at me about computers before.” Will looked up from Derek’s computer, blushing.

“I haven’t had a cute guy dump a gallon of coffee all over me and steal my laptop before, either, but here we are.”

“Maybe you can yell about computers over lunch with me?”

3. Zimbits

Button downs. Tank tops. Slacks. Shorts. Three rolling pins. A pie tin. A half-emptied multipack of sharpies.

No lucky puck. No clothes in his size. No jerseys.

Jack sighed. It would just be too much to ask for anything to go well today. He picked up his phone to call someone with the Falconers, in the hope that they could talk to the airline and sort all this out. At the same time, his phone lit up with Tater’s face.

“Zimmboni! Look on twitter. Small internet baker has your suitcase!” Tater hung up before he could reply, so Jack just opened twitter instead. 

omgcheckplease: A bunch of pucks, some dirty jerseys, and a history textbook. Either I’m back in college or this isn’t my suitcase.

omgcheckplease: .@falcsofficial please tell your #1 player to DM me and come get his shit

omgcheckplease: and @falcsofficial tell him to give me my shit back. my hockey days are in the past, I need rolling pins, not a mouthguard

Jack smiled and laughed in the way a person laughs when they’re alone, just blowing more air than normal out of his nose. He looked through the twitter for a minute– the guy, Eric Bittle, was a Providence-based chef, whose latest tweets were mostly greetings to the various cities he’d been visiting on tour. Jack clicked the media tab on the account, and looked through the pictures. Bittle was cute. He wrote a reply.

zimmboni: .@omgcheckplease how do I send u a DM

omgcheckplease: .@zimmboni you don’t deserve to be verified, oh my god #verifybittle2k17

A few seconds later another notification popped up, and he tapped it to be brought to a DM window.

omgcheckplease: hey! sorry about the mixup. I can only imagine how confused you were to find all my book tour stuff.

zimmboni: Probably as confused as you were finding hockey stuff?

omgcheckplease: I wasn’t joking in my tweets, I did play hockey before I got into the whole cookbook/food show thing

zimmboni: Exactly, I did a book tour last year in the off-season :-)

omgcheckplease: oh my gosh, isn’t it the best and the worst?

zimmboni: I know. It’s great to meet people and talk about your work, but it’s exhausting.

omgcheckplease: that’s why I’m so excited to be back in Providence! at least until the next cookbook.

zimmboni: Well we should probably meet up to trade suitcases. Want to meet somewhere for dinner?

omgcheckplease: don’t trust me to learn where your house is?

zimmboni: I mean, if dinner goes well enough…

omgcheckplease: OH. okay, then, Mr. Zimmermann, it’s a date.

Jack smiled to himself, and got ready for his date.

Okay, so after reading @sir-scandalous ‘s Abuse AU (or something like that, I believe?) I have feelings and thought god dammit, so lets get down to it. I’ve mixed it with an AU I’ve been drafting for a fic as well, which is Mute!Lance/Highschooler!Lance and Cafe owner!Shiro. (Lance is 17, Shiro is 19)

Lance has an abusive father with anger issues, and at the age of 9, Lance suffered severe damage to his vocal chords after a bad bout with his father strangling him. So he is no longer able to talk, which makes it even worse for him because he can no longer voice for help when he needs to, which his father fully knows and abuses this fact. 

Lance is taking the long way hope one day, wanting as much alone time to himself before facing whats at home, and he discovers a new cafe opened just several blocks away from his neighborhood. The big banner over it reading The Noir Lion, and the smell of freshly baked blueberry muffins made his stomach growl painfully.So, he decides to head in and take a seat at a semi closed off booth area. 

Because his other employees are busy cooking and tending to others, Shiro himself dusts himself off and grabs a black waiter apron to wrap around his waist to go and get Lance’s order. He asks the usual way and waits for an answer, to which Lance starts to get nervous and anxious over because damn, it was too crowded today and this handsome gentleman was expecting an answer and oh damn, his phone almost slipped from his fingers. Good job. Shiro notices the boys growing anxiety and holds out a hand, telling him to take it easy and go slow, with whatever he was doing. Lance nodded, smiling small, and took a deep breath, before typing out his reply on his phones notepad. 

Shiro wondered why the boy couldn’t talk, but he wouldn’t pry, instead giving him a nod and gentle smile before going to get Lance  a muffin and a cup of coco on the house because the boy looked so sad and stressed. So when Lance is about to leave he tries to pay for the coco too, but Shiro refuses it and tells him to come back anytime. Later on when Shiro goes to clean the table, he sees ten dollars, to which he simply pockets to save and give back. 

This continues on for a whole month, Shiro learning of Lance’s inability to speak, and always saving Lance’s money he leaves behind rather then putting it in the register. Lance starts developing a crush on Shiro after two months and starting to actually flirt with gestures, brush of finger tips and cheesy as hell pick up lines on his phone. Shiro always makes time to sit with Lances on each of his visits now, and even invites him to a private back room where the employees go for lunch, when Lances come in overly stressed, breathing hard or crying. Lances never outright admits his abusive household, but Shiro already has strong suspicions, but doesn’t force anything yet. 

Just imagine Lance, instead of going home right away, he goes to Shiro’s cafe and shows him his progress in grades and trophies in swimming and track competitions, and Shiro always smiling brightly and occasionally giving Lance a hug when the boy was ready for such contact. 

Then imagine Lance’s father finding out where Lance has been going and getting upset at not knowing, so he goes over one time and publicly humiliates Lance in front of a half filled cafe and Shiro, but Shiro is having none of that and despite Lance’s dad being somewhat bigger than him, Shiro is still hella strong enough to grab the man by the arm and manhandle him out of there and away from Lance, defending his dignity all the while. Lance is in tears for both Shiro defending him and because he was now scared to go home. Shiro invites Lance to stay the night at his place, and until closing time teaches Lance how to make buttercream roses on cakes and how to make his favorite blueberry muffin as distraction.

samwiseofficial  asked:

Hey Alan! I just saw a post about different types of allistics on my dash... one of them was "The 'Ally'™". I'm allistic and I want to know how I can be a good ally, so I thought I'd ask about certain things mentioned in the post so i can avoid doing them! What are person first language and functioning labels and what can I do as an allistic to be an actual ally (not an “Ally"™)? Thanks so much!

okay, first of all, I’m going to assume that you meant [this post]. If not, sorry. Second, I’m not going to get this perfect. I’m viewing this as a bit of a first draft, which (note to self) I will edit at some point.

definitions: person-first language is “person with autism” as opposed to “autistic person”. Please use “autistic person”. I dealt with functioning labels later in this disorganized hell-post. 

So here’s my stab at allistic ally 101

1) You follow the same rules as if you were an ally for any other group: [Here’s a pretty good ally 101 article], but it’s not the end-all-be-all. Keep listening to autistic voices, and if we contradict the rules hold our voices higher. 

Also, above all, rule #1 of allyship is don’t be a shithead–come to conversations with the intention to listen and learn first and treat us like human beings (this is particularly critical with disability rights)

2) Our voices are the important ones: this is important with being an ally to any group, but autistic people often struggle to communicate or express ourselves. Be patient. Ask people how they’d like to communicate and be prepared to be a bit flexible.

Some autistic people use AAC (Alternative or Assistive Communication), and their voices matter just as much as verbal people’s. You don’t have to learn ASL or anything, but don’t assume that because someone’s not communicating verbally they’re less intelligent or competent. And, even if someone can’t communicate using language (or communicate at all) don’t assume that they don’t have thoughts, feelings, and needs.

3) Nothing about us without us: knowing an autistic person doesn’t make you an expert on autism. BEING an autistic person makes you an expert on autism. If you see anything claiming to help autistic people that doesn’t prominently feature Actual Autistic People, don’t support it (unless Actual Autistic People are telling you to support it, see #2)

This goes double for any charitable organization focused on autism which leads me into point number 4 (also from here on out things are a bit smaller-scope, that doesn’t make them less important):

4) Autism Speaks is trash: [and] [here] [are] [some] [sources

If you want to support charities try ASAN and The Autism Women’s Network

5) Please don’t try to “cure” us: I’m dealing with some internalized ableism with this one, so let me turn you over to  Anya Ustaszewski who in [this article] writes:

My autism is part of who I am. It is not something “extra” that can be taken away from me to suit the agenda of an intolerant society. My abilities, challenges and perception of the world all go hand in hand. If I were to be “cured” of my autism, the person that I am would cease to exist.

so yeah cure = bad, acceptance and accommodation = good

6) Celebrate the things that make autistics unique: lately, tumblr has gotten a lot more stim-positive, but stimming isn’t solely a pretty, paint-mixing or slime video (in fact, stimboards are rarely tagged and can overstimulate the SHIT out of me). 

A lot of time, stimming is viewed as ugly, distracting, loud, disgusting, or socially unacceptable. Support your local autistics, don’t expect people to stop stimming and try not to stare or comment (many autistic people have to work very hard to reclaim stimming after childhoods of expecting to suppress it entirely).

Also, try your best to support different cognitive styles and processing issues. Try to keep your websites accessible, provide image transcripts, try not to make posts that are entirely text in images (like screenshots of twitter posts), and help to subtitle videos if you can. <- these things also help d/Deaf people and anyone who accesses the internet via a screenreader

7) steer clear of stereotypes: I’m not rain man or that dude on the big bang theory or your cousin’s dentist’s sister’s younger brother’s son. The ‘idiot savant’ stereotype is almost never true and puts unreasonable expectations on autistic people. Also, not all of us are good at math or science, have incredible memories, etc. Fitting or not fitting stereotypes don’t change the fact that every autistic person is human and deserves rights and respect.

8) functioning labels are fake: never listen to anyone who describes autism as “high” or “low functioning”. Every autistic person has struggles, and putting labels on functioning basically sorts people into “can be ignored” and “subhuman”. [here’s about a million posts about why they suck because if I put it all here this post would be five times as long]

9) ABA is trash: this is trigger territory for a huge number of autistic people, so [here] and I’m not going to say anything else just take my word on this one

10) If it has puzzle pieces on it, run: if you’re looking to see if a group is okay, look for the rainbow infinity sign. The puzzle piece is a huge red flag. Please don’t support anything with puzzle pieces on it. Please. I’m begging you.


Okay that was WAAY longer than I meant it to get, sorry. Also, I’ve missed a bunch of things, but I’ve been working on this for an hour and I don’t have the energy to add more. I’ll throw this in #actuallyautistic and hopefully someone else can add anything important I missed.

Dog Days Are Over

Summary: You were already having a bad day, and then in walks Mr. Perfect and his best friend’s puppy. Oh, and he needs you to hurry because he’s got a blind date tonight, and he’s really nervous.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2,993

Author’s Note: Do you know how long this has been in my drafts? Anyways, here’s more fluff. Sorry I’ve been the Ebeneezer Scrooge of fluff, but I can’t help it that I’m a cynical, angsty bitch who likes to make people suffer.

Originally posted by thespoilerwitchblog

There were certain rules to being a veterinary technician.

Number one, waterproof mascara and eyeliner always! When the customer cries, you cry. Number two, carry a lint roller on you at all times; it’s best to get the pocket-sized one, because Mr. Twinkles sheds a lot! Number three, iron your scrubs! And it’s probably best to keep an extra pair in your car, because Mrs. Comier’s Jack Russell likes to pee on people.

Even though you knew these rules by heart, and you followed them every single day of your work-life, today was an exception. It was just one of those days that absolutely nothing- no matter how hard you tried- was going right. You were covered in fluffy cat hairs, Mrs. Comier’s Jack Russell peed on your leg twice, and you had run out of waterproof mascara; so when Mr. Langley brought in his thirteen year old Labrador to put her down, he cried, and so you cried, and in the end you looked like the raccoon that liked to sneak into the office dumpsters at closing.

Today just wasn’t your day.

Keep reading

There’s no need to size up Mitch Marner

SAN JOSE—Paul Marner has been hearing it almost from the moment his son began dominating minor hockey games around the GTA.

“We’d stand there and listen to people constantly talk about Mitch’s size. ‘Oh my God, he’s way too small.’ ‘Oh my God, he’s going to get killed,’ ” Paul Marner was saying recently. “But as a parent, maybe you’re too close to it. At the time we never thought he was that small.”

Upon more recent review — looking back at video of Mitch’s rise through the ranks of the Greater Toronto Hockey League en route to starring for the Maple Leafs during a remarkable rookie year — a father has come to see things differently.

“I pulled out a game tape the other day from peewee and I thought to myself, ‘Oh my God, he looks like someone’s little brother on the ice.’ ”

Little Mitch, at the time, was playing peewee against boys a year older. At the time Michael Dal Colle, a longtime minor-hockey teammate of Marner’s who went on to be taken fifth overall by the New York Islanders in the 2014 NHL draft, was about 13 years old, standing five-foot-eight and 160 pounds, Paul Marner said. Mitch, at the same time, was four-foot-seven and about 85 pounds. Body-checking was permitted.

“Every coach we played against was sending guys out to kill him. So his whole life, Mitch has dealt with that,” Paul Marner said. “And right now, even though there’s some huge guys in the NHL, I think he’s at the least size disadvantage he’s probably ever had his whole life.”

“It was eating him up inside to be out of the lineup — it’s been hard on him,” said Matt Martin, the Leafs forward. “But for a guy like that, you just want to make sure he’s taking care of himself.”

Paul Marner said questions about Mitch’s long-term durability have always gone hand in hand with concerns about his skimpy frame. A couple of years back, when Marner was a draft-eligible 17-year-old racking up a nightly average of two points a game for the OHL’s London Knights, scouts flocked to see him play against the hard-hitting Oshawa Generals, then coached by Leafs assistant D.J. Smith. The fact that Marner suffered a fracture in his elbow that night — this on a hit from behind that earned Oshawa’s Will Petschenig an eight-game suspension — didn’t exactly end the conversation about his chances of weathering the professional grind.

“It’s almost a stigma that won’t go away,” Paul Marner said of concerns about the implications of Marner’s size. “But it doesn’t make a lot of sense.”

The hockey father, to that point, said he can count on one hand the instances in which his son has been hurt on a rink. There was a dirty slash that broke Mitch’s arm around age 10. There was a hip flexor issue that kept him out a few weeks when he was about 15. And then there was a case of whiplash suffered as a Knight in 2015, this after Erie’s Mason Marchment cuffed Marner with a stick to the jaw. Marchment was suspended 10 games.

Cheap shots happen, and anyone can get injured. But it’s worth noting the injury that kept Marner out of the lineup these past couple of weeks wasn’t a matter of a bigger player preying on the small-framed Maple Leaf. It was Marner who initiated the contact with Columbus’s Boone Jenner that ended with the Maple Leaf crashing awkwardly into the boards.

“Durability-wise, I’ve never been worried about it. He’s always got his head up,” Paul Marner said. “You look at the amount of time he’s played — how much he was on the ice in minor hockey and in the OHL, and how much he has the puck in the NHL — I think he’s pretty durable.”

It’s a compelling enough case. Mitch, for his part, has long been blase about concerns about his size.

“You can’t do anything about your body,” Marner said. “I’ve always been in this situation.”

The situation, mind you, is improving. While Mitch weighed in at about 160 pounds when the Leafs drafted him fourth overall in 2015, he has since put on weight. Exactly how much weight? Well, Mitch can be coy about this subject.

“It’s whatever it says on the sheet. 170? That’s what it says on the sheet,” he said.

Toronto’s No. 16, in contrast, is downright forceful about his height.

“I’m six feet,” he recently said in a declaration that drew guffaws around the dressing room. “Nobody believes that.”

Mitch, who doesn’t turn 20 until May, said he’s of the belief that he’s still growing. He said his older brother, Chris, had a late spurt around age 20 or 21 and now stands about six-foot-two. And there’s height on mother Bonnie’s side of the family. She’s five-foot-10. Paul Marner, who’s also about five-foot-10, said lately he finds himself looking up at his youngest son, whom he figures can easily add another 20 pounds of muscle to his frame before he’s fully formed.

Said Mitch: “It’s a thing in our family — stuff happens late.”

This is another claim that doesn’t go over well in the Maple Leafs room.

“He tells me he’s still growing all the time,” Martin said, rolling his eyes. “Good luck with that one. He thinks he’s going to be 6-3. I know he’s young. But he’s not that young.”

Mitch Marner shrugged and smiled: “If I grow or not, I’m happy how I am now.”

If how he is now is healthy and back in the lineup as Toronto’s push for the playoffs continues, there’s a fan base that likes him just fine, too.

anonymous asked:

I just had all the feels about baby Stiles, maybe two or three years old, meeting full-shifted eight-year-old Derek. And Stiles is just absolutely mesmerized by the shiny black pup with soft yellow eyes. They make friends. Stiles even sometimes naps with his head on that wolf's fuzzy belly. (cont)

And of course, as they grow up, he sometimes talks to the dog - as most pet owners do - about his day, or what he’s worried about, or how he has a huge crush on that boy Derek from across the street who’s WAY TOO COOL and would never notice him in a million years because Stiles is young and awkward and Derek is awesome and sportsy and older and did I mention awesome?

THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR FAR TOO LONG. 

I originally planned to write a fic based on it but my brain is dead writing wise at the moment and going through my old drafts, this made me smile too much not to post. 

adore fics where Stiles doesn’t realise his friendly neighbourhood dog is actually one Derek Hale and I love even more when Stiles either hates Derek but Derek has a major crush on him or Stiles is pining hard after the cool boy at school/his hot neighbour and Derek is actually too awkward/emotionally constipated to try and snuggle with Stiles in any other way but in his wolf form. Seriously, I’d read this trope 1000 times over and never get bored. 

“He smiled at me today, Sparky.”

Oh god, why did he have to name me Sparky? Who names their dogs Sparky? It’s not even a cool loser name. 

I think I was cool?? At least, I was trying to be but then he did this thing where he tipped his sunglasses down his face and grinned and I kind of face planted the sidewalk. Fuck, I hope he didn’t see.”

I did.

And then, he came to History wearing a leather jacket. Can you believe it? It’s like he knows what leather does to me…I swear, it’s like he can read my mind sometimes.”

Shit.

Kind of like last week, when I discovered I had a serious thing for guys in glasses after seeing Tyler Hoechlin in Supergirl. And then boom! He showed up to school, wearing glasses, Sparky. Oh my god, what if I have, like, mind control powers?”

How do I have a crush on you?

What if every time I develop a new fantasy, Derek feels compelled to do it? Shit. What if I end up into kinky stuff? What if he shows up to prom in handcuffs and a blindfold??

Very unlikely. Unless I work up the courage to ask you out by then and handcuffs and blindfolds are something you want to try out on prom night.

Maybe I should write him some kind of apology card. Would that be creepy?”

Probably not creepier than pretending to be a stray dog because every time I’ve tried to ask you out I forget how to talk.

Do you think I could ask him out in the card too? Like, P.S. I also think you’re really hot. Except for your bunny teeth. Which are adorable. Please consider dating me. This is Stiles, by the way.” 

Yes. Wait – adorable?

“I’m going to do it, Sparky.”

Finally.

I’m going to do the deed.”

Okay.

“I’ll start on the ten year plan tonight.”

Ten year WHAT? 

Shance Yoga Teacher au

Yes, friends, this au is 100% what you’re thinking. FLEXIBLE AF LANCE AND THIRSTY AF SHIRO

  • Starting with a bit of angst. Shiro is an ex marine (I will NEVER let go of this hc in my modern aus deal with it), who lost his hand (hand. not entire arm. just the hand) in battle. This au isn’t far in the future, so there are no fancy advanced prosthetics. The healing process was long and painful, not to mention extremely emotionally and mentally taxing.
  • Once he he’s actually healthy enough, both mentally and physically, to have enough energy for things other than treatment, the first thing he wants to do is to try and build more muscle mass, like he used to have. He liked being buff, and he still is, but less than he used to be. Both he and his therapist think it’ll be good for strengthening his positive body image, too.
  • Shiro asks his doctor (Allura) what form of exercise can she recommend at this stage, and she says Yoga. He’s skeptical at first, but what can he already lose if he goes to one session, right?
  • The hospital actually holds a class for patients, and Allura said the instructor is well experienced with amputees (amongst other conditions).
  • Shiro’s brain for the entire first minute upon meeting Lance: OH NO HE’S HOT THIS WAS A MISTAKE
  • No backing out tho he’s already been spotted and Lance is questioning him about his exact conditions so he can know best what he can safely instruct him to do and what he can’t.
  • Shiro’s brain continues to die the entire time, but he manages some answers anyway. Finally, Lance has enough, plus the rest of the group arrives and the session starts.
  • First, there’s breathing exercises. Easy enough, right?
  • WRONG
  • Lance tells them to close their eyes, but whenever Shiro does, he the only thing he has left to focus on is Lance’s voice (which is the point) and he gets super flustered because it’s so smooth? and pleasant? and kinda sexy?? and he can’t help but want that voice to whisper to him sensually and- NOPE, gotta open his eyes.
  • The rest of the class is a little harder, for two major reasons.
  • For once, the exercises are actually more demanding than he expected. He always thought he was pretty stretchy, but heavens, is a human body even supposed to bend this far?
  • Which brings us to the next difficulty. Lance’s body is more than capable of bending that far, and it’s driving him insane.
  • Despite how stressful it was trying not to stare at his ass too much and generally not turn into a tomato, the session was actually… really great. Shiro feels better when he walks out, more relaxed somehow, even though his heart still speeds up when he remembers Lance doing that one pose.
  • Lance asks him to hang back for a moment to talk to him and Shiro is all Oh No He Noticed Me Staring but nope. Lance just wanted to ask how he feels and if anything made his arm hurt really bad etc. He also excessively complimented his natural flexibility, saying he’ll be able to do “all sorts of things” soon enough. Shiro is really unsure, but it almost seems like Lance smirked while saying that? Nah, he must be just imagining things because of his developing crush.
  • The next few sessions aren’t very different. Supposedly, anyway. After basing his level and current capabilities, Lance decided that Shiro could use more personal guidance, including LOTS of touching to correct his pose. Lance, being a professional, always asks for permission to touch him first, which somehow only makes it that much worse, because Shiro wants Lance to touch him. So so bad. Shiro is literally dying. These pants are tight and they will not hide a boner. He’s suffering. Someone help him.
  • There’s no help, and Poor Shiro has to constantly deal with gentle touches and low purrs because god forbid anyone makes a loud noise in the middle of yoga class. It goes on for a couple of weeks until one day he gets a most peculiar text from Lance.
  • (They exchanged numbers because Shiro wanted to add a third yoga session to his weekly schedule but the hospital only held the classes twice a week, and Lance gives him his number in case he has any questions. Of course, barely any Yoga advice was exchanged. )
  • Lance’s text: Uggghhh I can’t do this anymore! Allura, I know he’s your patient and all and he’s “”“"healing”“”“ and stuff but I can’t hold back anymore I just can’t. He’s too hot. I know I promised to hold back BUT THIS IS IT I’M ASKING HIM OUT
  • Shaking, Shiro texts back, asking who Lance is talking about.
  • Lance doesn’t text back for like half an hour and Shiro starts seriously freaking out when he gets a long ass text from Lance, where he apologizes for being so unprofessional and confessing his crush etc.
  • Shiro could almost cry from relief, because a few minutes ago he thought he might’ve lost all chances with Lance but now… He has more than a slight chance. He calls Lance and confesses his own crush and they both laugh and maybe it’s a little awkward because what do you even say in a situation like this but eventually they manage to schedule a date.
  • They take it slow, let things develop naturally. Lance gives Shiro all the time and space he needs, since it’s the first time he’s tried dating since he lost his hand. Takes a little trial and error, but one day, a few months later, Shiro finds out just how far Lance can bend.
I'm Not Here

Pairing: Eventual Steve x Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of violence, language, fear, uuhhh.. I can’t think of any other ones?

A/N: Hey, guys. This has been sitting in my drafts for about…. 4 months, so I figured I’d try and finish it up and post it. If you like it so far, let me know and I’ll see about writing a second part.



Cold.

That’s all you knew.

Time was irrelevant, who you were had been washed away, all you knew was darkness and a bitter chill that had set deep into your bones.

Keep reading

sacchariwrites  asked:

Are you going to tell us now how you changed the story after you saw episode 10? You said you had to go back and re-outline the whole thing. I am interested in knowing how it differs.

i’m sorry if someone has already asked you this but can you share with us the original plan you had for umfb before episode 10? or can you not tell us until after the companion fic?


How Episode 10 Changed Everything (and other fun stories):

So as I’ve said a couple of times before, episode 10 was an absolute game changer for Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches and now that the fic is finally done I’ll try and explain how although this may get a bit long and I wont go into too much detail about Viktor for companion fic reasons.

So the main three things that episode 10 changed in the fic was Viktor’s entire character, Yuuri as an unreliable narrator and the program music.

The most significant by far was Viktor’s character. Because pre episode 10 we really still didn’t know that much about Viktor and we had no idea about the banquet. So before episode 10 I assumed that Yuuri fell in love first and Viktor came to coach Yuuri out of curiosity because he likes surprises and doing something different and eventually and unexpectedly found himself falling in love. In a draft for another fic I was tossing ideas around for it actually centred on Viktor only realising he was in love with Yuuri just before the kiss in episode 7. Viktor was always very mysterious and I’m sure people who were in the fandom pre ep10 will remember all the theories that he was just using Yuuri and all that and while I didn’t believe that, I did assume that Viktor’s character trope was the ‘workaholic slowly learns how to love by being loved’ one.

But then episode 10 comes and completely knocks that out of the water because we find that Viktor is actually this adorable sappy romantic who calls Yuuri sleeping beauty and adores him and fell in love with him when he was wasted and dancing and brought life and love back into Viktor’s world. And that completely changed Viktor in the fic because after an episode from his pov I had a much better handle on his character and realised he absolutely wouldn’t act like he had been planned to act in the fic.

In the original plan he wasn’t ever a bad person or anything but he was actually a rival for Yuuri and he didn’t fall in love until much much later. But with episode 10 we also found out that Chris and Viktor are best buddies and Viktor likes skating with Chris and can’t imagine a season without him which means that in the fic there’s no way that Viktor would feel threatened by Yuuri as a rival because in canon he’s besties with his competitor and he’s way too much of a sweetheart for that. So in the fic it changed from Viktor reciprocating the rivalry to Viktor actually enjoying the challenge and excitement it brought into his life.

As for him falling in love, in chapter 10 the singing thing was always planned but that was originally the first sign that Viktor was starting to feel affection for Yuuri and was just the very beginning of him falling in love. It chapter 10! But after ep10 I realised that Viktor ‘love at first drunken dance’ Nikiforov would definitely not be having a solid two years of a ‘relationship’ and just be starting to fall because that would be seriously ooc and we finally saw just how much he adores Yuuri through his own eyes. And so in the fic I reworked the whole thing to fit with Viktor as a character as I now understood him and that included him falling first, falling hard and falling early.

Episode 10 also showed us just how much of an unreliable narrator Yuuri is, with the banquet and also how different everything seemed from Viktor’s eyes. And so that meant that I started to play with the idea of Yuuri being a seriously unreliable narrator and trying to tell a story where his version is very different to the version the audience see, which is obvious now pretty crucial to umfb&mha.

I also went back and reworked all the program music for the fic once episode 10 came out. Before it was all important and did have significance but after I knew that Viktor was going to fall early I decided to play around with the idea of showing the audience how he was feeling through his music. So I went back and completely changed the program music to tell a proper story (funny story, originally Yuuri was going to be the one skating to Sun and Moon. And then episode 10 happened and I looked at the new outline of the fic like ‘this is such a Viktor song oh my god).

Another thing that episode 10 changed was originally Chris wasn’t involved in the fic at all until we found out about his and Viktor’s friendship and that he’s actually such a bro not just a weird guy who gropes Yuuri and comes on the ice. As well as that, in episode 10 we also found out that Yuuri was actually the unknowing playboy in the Eros story not Viktor, coming into Viktor’s life, stealing his heart and then leaving without a word, which lead me adapting the fic to umfb!Yuuri becoming a perceived playboy by others through certain things that will be explored fully in the companion fic as a reference to that. There were also some smaller changes like the inclusion of the drunken Olympics and Yuuri knowing how to pole dance as a shout out to the episode.

Episode 12 also changed a lot. One of the things was Yurio and his role in the fic and how he feels about Yuuri which will be explored more in the companion fic. Also the original end of the fic was that Yuuri was going to try and fail to do the quad flip which ruins an otherwise perfect skate and potentially loses him the gold but he was willing to sacrifice it to tell Viktor. But in episode 12 we see that Yuuri can do a quad flip with his love for Viktor as motivation so it changed to Yuuri still potentially ruining his skate because he isn’t sure if he can land the jump but doing it anyway and actually succeeding because every time he tried and failed before it was because he was doing it out of bitterness trying to beat Viktor and this time he was doing it out of love.

The fic also changed a lot over the course of writing it just because characters take on a life of their own and my first draft was very rough and done before I’d written anything so I’ll try and do a chapter by chapter run down of the big changes from the rough plan I wrote before starting the fic to the end result.

Chapter 4:

·       Phichit originally wasn’t a big part of the fic but that very quickly changed because it’s Phichit and he’s so damn important to Yuuri and such an amazing character so I added him in early and made his part much bigger

·       There was originally going to be a discussion between Viktor and Yuuri that went badly and they both ended up annoyed and offended which sparked Viktor’s side of the rivalry but there was no way to do that without making them both dicks and ooc and after episode 10 it changed to Viktor trying to be helpful but unreliable narrator Yuuri taking it wrong and cutting the conversation short

Chapter 6:

·       Yuuri was originally going to be watching interviews and stuff of Viktor and thinking how arrogant and self-assured he was but this changed with Viktor’s character change because that’s just not him

·       Viktor was going to make a comment about Yuuri’s quads but this one was actually going to be an insult and again changed when Viktor’s character changed

·       The idea for the dream sequence only came later

Chapter 7:

·       Pole dancing only became a thing after episode 10

·       Viktor was going to only miss the GPS and come back for Worlds but lose because he wasn’t fully recovered but I decided I didn’t want the first time Yuuri won against Viktor to be so unsatisfying

·       The watching Yuuri skate at the rink didn’t originally happen at this point in the fic until after I saw ep 10

Chapter 8:

·       Yuuri never lost motivation originally but I decided at that point it was important in his character to almost give up but then come back with a vengeance

·       The drunken Olympics never originally happened

·       They were both originally going to be drunk when they first slept together but that got thrown out almost immediately because consent is very important and there was no way I was going to write a scene where both of them were drunk and therefore couldn’t give proper consent.  Also it was important it wasn’t a drunken mistake but a deliberate choice.

·       Viktor getting drinks never happened, instead he was going to be treating Yuuri in a similar way to how Yuuri was treating him

Chapter 9:

·       Yuuri was originally still going to be very hostile before I realised it was ooc and a dick move after Viktor was being nice to him so it changed to him congratulating Viktor after Viktor won. That then changed the sex scene from the mutual hatefuck it was going to be pre ep10 to Yuuri and the comments thing that sent him spiralling. The not-talking thing was also added as a plot device because Viktor as he became acted very differently to him as he was originally planned to be and it would have been too easy if he had been allowed to talk.

·       Viktor was originally going to take Yuuri out to dinner at the WC purely out of guilt

·       There was originally going to be another sex scene after the WC and dinner where Yuuri was angry at Viktor for ruining his skate but it would be ooc for both of them and got changed early on

Chapter 10:

·       Number swap was supposed to be just for hooking up but changed after ep10

·       Yuuri’s theme was originally going to be something related to hatred but it changed as his character developed and I realised how he was being affected by the events of the fic was different to the plan and that would be doing him a disservice as a character

·       Viktor was still kind of being a bit of a dick and making snide comments during sex when Yuuri won which was changed when I rewrote Viktor as a character after ep10

·       Conversation with Phichit was very short and didn’t involve a lot of the stuff it did in the final chapter

·       Viktor was again going to be acting very different in the second sex scene with none of the need or desperation that happened which all came about during his character change

·       Conversation with Chris never happened until the third of four re-writes of ep10 when I realised Viktor’s actions needed some more context for people who were ignoring the music

Chapter 11:

·       Lots of sex was supposed to happen in this chapter before I changed it for plot reasons and also companion fic reasons

·       Sex scene was supposed to be all about Yuuri acting like Eros Yuuri but those two idiots in love were very sappy and sentimental instead and it became a crucial relationship shift point instead

·       All domesticness from that chapter was planned out later in the fic as the fic was being written not in the first plan, including the borscht scene

Chapter 12:

·       Meal with the other skaters never happened

·       The revel about Yuuri’s virginity never happened in the first plan. Then in the rough draft of the chapter it happened at the same time as the second reveal but I split them because it worked better that way

·       This was when Viktor was supposed to secretly watch Yuuri skating his routine

·       Yurio wasn’t originally involved at all and Yuuri left after getting jealous. The love revelation never happened

Chapter 13:

·       Yurio appeared in this chapter instead although the conversation was very different in the rough plan because everything he talks about in the final version came about after episode 10 changed everything

·       Yuuri was originally going to be much more angry at the scandal and used his anger to win while Viktor still fucked up his skate but this changed early when I realised it was ooc and Yuuri would actually react very differently and that emotional devastation and heartbreak would ruin his skate instead

Chapter 14:

·       None of the conversations with Yuuri’s family were planned in detail in the first rough plan, I just knew he needed to go back to Hasetsu and have some revelations

·       Yuuri was supposed to convince himself that Viktor never loved him and never could and only realised Viktor’s feelings after seeing stammi vicino. This changed because it was very important for Yuuri to go and get some distance and time and then decided to come back and decided to try again with Viktor before he saw stammi vicino. It also changed because with Viktor as he became after ep10 and how he reacted there was no way that Yuuri would convince himself that Viktor never cared for him. He’s a bit emotionally dense sometimes but not an idiot

·       Yuuri was going to fall on the quad flip

So yeah, all this is from the very rough draft before I wrote any of it and the story adapted and changed along the way as I got more into the characters and got a better handle on how they would act until it became what you see today. It definitely became a much better story and I’m very happy with all the changes that I made! Having a plan is great for a framework but letting the characters grow and change naturally during the writing process is much more fun and I think makes for a better story

catatonicparasomnia  asked:

what's your list of fav bellarke fan fiction????

im currently bitter bc i basically had this finished but tumblr decided to have a glitch and delete it all. anyway, here’s round 2 

cause i got you, and now that’s all that matters by @marauders-groupie

lana is beautiful and so is this fic. i think my tag for it was just a bunch of exclamation points which basically means that i’ll be in love with it forever and never be able to properly use words when talking about it. 

Clarke gets dirt stuck under her nails, Bellamy always keeps books at hand, they are both a mess but somewhere between throwing tomatoes at each other and hiding, they fall in love.

Or: Bellarke in the countryside.

Prompt: Imagine Bellarke in Modern AU. With Sunday brunches on the back porch and whispered I love yous when no one else is listening.

aphelion by @kindclaws

with the possibility of coming across as too much, let me just say that there are few people who have stolen my heart in the degree that Sara has. That being said, even if I didn’t love her to the moon and back, I would still be able to see beautiful talent, and that is definitely something that my dear friend has. So here’s the short summary of my latest obsession of hers: 

It’s been two years since the spaceship Aphelion mysteriously disappeared, its crew branded by the ARK as traitors to be shot on sight. Jake Griffin was on that ship, and with him, a dangerous secret that could change civilized space forever.

Now, Clarke wants some answers - and revenge, if she can get it. Bellamy wants a bigger ship - specifically, Clarke’s. Wells wants to fix the system his father broke. Octavia wants a little fun. Miller wants everyone to stop making poor life choices. Harper wants to kiss the new girl. And Raven? Well, Raven just wants to blow shit up.

The universe won’t know what’s hit it. (Space pirates AU!)

Sent and Delivered by @clarkescrusade

Listen. I love social media aus, nerdy!Bellamy and thirsty!Clarke. Thankfully this fic has a little of all that. It also has adorable fanboy Jas and that’s also a plus for me. This one has stayed with me since the night i read it, so it’s def up there on my faves list. 

Clarke is pretty sure Bellamy is the hottest lyft driver she’s ever had, and it certainly doesn’t hurt that he’s a pretty great conversationalist, too. When she finds out him and Raven used to work together, it feels natural to become friends. She just never thought they’d get along quite so well, or that their lives would come together so easily, or that she’d fall madly in love with him. But that’s life.

aka: a social media au incorporating text messages, snapchats, tweets, and instagrams that definitely no one asked for.

You’re Cool On The Internet, At Least by @prosciuttoe

Once again, SOCIAL MEDIA AU. They meet on facebook and yeah. this is hella cute. I love it. Also, anything Em writes is magic, so please read this and give her the love and adoration she deserves. 

Look, Clarke will not dwell on this. She will not get flustered just because a possibly cute guy on Facebook apparently shares her views on what constitutes a terrible person.

Ten minutes later, her phone gives a short, irritated buzz; startling her enough that she jumps.

Biting at the inside of her cheek, she allows herself a quick peek.

Friend request from Bellamy Blake.

Clarke has no idea how she manages to develop a crush on a guy who won’t stop fighting everyone on Facebook, but here they are.

(Or: Clarke meets Bellamy on Facebook. They hit it off.)

neither lost nor found by awildthing 

other than social media au, my weakness is modern magic users au. AND THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. 

Bellamy Blake arrives on campus and Clarke’s magic suddenly starts going haywire.

Or, Clarke meets another magic user and teaches him to control his gift–and learns some things along the way.

I Don’t Want To Be Your Friend (i wanna kiss your neck) by @spacexualkids

i love tierney more than i love most people on this god forsaken site. her writing is always like coming home which is way too cheesy even for me. so here. read this summary so i dont become a blubbering mess. 

She finds Bellamy back on that floral couch. They’d moved it into the screened room for the winter, and then back out again once the days grew long and warm. It was becoming another tradition, apparently.

And so was this; him smoking on the sofa, her head on his shoulder, voices low in the early morning while everyone else was asleep and the world felt like it belonged to them, just for the moment.

“Someone had fun,” he teases, flicking at a spot on her neck. Clarke reaches up to feel the tender skin; Glass must have given her a hickey while they were getting carried away.

She flushes, but he’s looking back at the sunrise. “I always have fun,” she reminds him, and he groans.

“Yeah, I remember.”

“This is my favorite part, though,” Clarke says, curling up a little more against him so he’ll put his arm around her for warmth. She’s still kind of drunk, so she’s not sure if she’s making sense, but she trusts that he’ll get it. Bellamy always seems to understand what she means. “Just–us. It’s my favorite.”

Bellamy stubs out his cigarette and leans back against her. “Mine too.”

That’s all I have time for tonight, but I do have a longer one in my drafts that I plan on finishing and publishing soon. 

I will also use this to shamelessly self promo - I’m taking requests for the next two weeks bc HOLIDAYS! no more teaching for me for two weeks and that is glorious. 

so pls send in any and all prompts you want filled by yours truly

“Y/N, I bought you a coffee and a croissant from that fancy little French café down the block!” Your eyes shot open at the sound of Y/F/N’s voice, the slam of the front door and the jingle of the house keys following soon afterwards. “You better wake up!” 

“Oh god. Oh my god.” You whispered harshly, your voice still scratchy with sleep. “Harry, wake up!” You hissed, shaking him awake as you scrambled out of bed, picking your clothes up off the floor. No one knew about your relationship with Harry. Could you even call it a relationship? No, no. It wasn’t a relationship. It was like, a negotiation kind of thing. Whenever he was back in town, he’d come over, you two would.. catch up, and when he had to leave, he had to leave. You couldn’t complain, you couldn’t be sad.. No feelings could be involved. 

Both you and Harry had come up with the terms, but lately, he had been feeling a little different. Lately, he had been wanting you to snuggle up to him after sex. Lately, he wanted to wake up with you tucked in his side or wake up to the sound of you tinkering in the kitchen making breakfast. He could never tell you that, though. He couldn’t! He was the one who had harped about how you couldn’t catch feelings for him because he was never in one place for a long time, but now he was the one who was catching feelings. 

“Mm, wha- Wha’s happenin’?” Harry mumbled, sitting up straight with droopy eyes as he tugged at his tangled curls. 

“You need to get outta her-” 

Are you getting up or what? Expensive coffee doesn’t taste good when it’s gone cold! Do you need me to come up?” 

“No, no! I’m up! Gimme a second!” You called back, ripping the sheets off of Harry and pushing him off. 

“Why can’t yeh wake me up with kisses instead? It’s a much gentler way.” Harry teased, hopping on one foot as he shimmied into his jeans. 

“Here’s your shirt.” You tossed the shirt towards Harry, rushing to clean your room up a little and try to make it look like Harry didn’t fuck you against every corner of the place. 

“Here’s your kiss.” Harry pressed his lips against yours in a loving kiss after pulling you into his chest, smiling when you melted into him with a hand cupping his cheek. 

“Y/N, if you don’t get outta bed soon I won’t hesitate to-” 

“One minute, one minute!” You pulled away from Harry, rushing over to push the windows open. 

“Feel like a teenager again, sneakin’ out through the window.” Harry snorted, hooking a leg over the ledge, but not before pulling you in for another sweet kiss. 

“You’re not leaving for a couple more days, right?” You whispered, reaching up to fix the collar of his coat. Harry shook his head, nuzzling into your cheek gently before pressing a chaste kiss against it. 

“I can sneak over t’night. Y/F/N will never know.” Harry grinned, wiggling his eyebrows slightly. 

“I knew something fishy was going on!” You jumped in shock, nearly pushing Harry out the window when you heard Y/F/N from behind you. 

“Y/F/N, I can explai-” 

“No need for the explanation. And Harry - There’s this thing called the front door. Maybe you can use that instead.” 

+

gif isn’t mine!

Wrapped Around

Jimin x Reader // college!AU // 9694 words

Summary: Freshman year was a mess and sophomore year doesn’t seem to be looking too good either. You know boys like them are no good for you but maybe they’re just your kind of type

Originally posted by bwipsul

Genre: Fluff, warning: groping(?)

TA refers to teaching assistant

Part 2 | Part 2.5 | Part 3 | Part 3.5 | Part 4

A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for a while now sigh and I feel bad for not putting out anything this winter break! This is a somewhat exaggerated version of what is a combination of my friends’ freshman year haha. Man I love college.


College had been a lot harder than you expected and you struggled, barely able to crawl past the finish line that was the end of freshman year. As sophomore year came around, new year, new me, you had declared. You were on a mission to bring your GPA back up. No more spending your nights at some random house, celebrating a birthday of a person whom you did not know but rather more nights spent hunched over your computer in some well-lit corner in the library.

Even though you felt invigorated to start the new semester, all that disappeared by the time Wednesday came around. You’re not sure why they call the first week, syllabus week when you had homework and quizzes assigned to you already. By the time it was Thursday, you could only thank god that you were so close to the weekend.

Sat in your final class for the day, your physics discussion section, you could only dream of the long shower you were going to take once you got back to your dorm. The bell rings, and the TA gets up to begin writing on the board but the distant noises of a person running down the hallway makes it difficult for you to concentrate. Within seconds, a rather sweaty boy reaches the doorway, panting as he bows apologetically at the TA before taking a seat right next to you. The TA waves at him dismissively as he continues to drone on about the material you learnt in class this week.

“Alright, now you can work in pairs or groups to solve the worksheet. In 15 minutes, we’ll come back to solve questions 1-3,” your TA declares.

You turn to your right to see that the person next to you had already formed a group with a few other students and you were too shy to ask if you could join. You turn to your left to find the sweaty boy silently working on the problem set. Letting out a light sigh, you begin attempting to solve the worksheet on your own.

There’s a long overdue silence before the boy seated next to you turns eagerly towards you and introduces himself. “Hi, I’m Jimin and you are?”

“Y/N,” You smile politely before turning to your worksheet.

He glances over at your worksheet and scoffs. “That’s wrong,”

“What?”

“That’s wrong,” He points. “You have to use the first equation that’s written down on the board.”

Keep reading

Fanfiction Recs - KuroKen <3

Originally posted by itomorimachi

Hello friends! I promised I’d be back with more Fic Rec posts and here I am! :D

I read through a bunch of KuroKen fics this week, so here are some of my faves! <3


1. How Kuroo Found Kenma by suggestivescribe (37641 words)

“Oh my God,” Kuroo said, eyes growing wide. He slowly turned to fully face Oikawa, “I’m in love with Kenma.”

Oikawa brought his tea to his mouth. “Yeah,” he said, smiling through the steam rising in front of his face, “I know.”

2. Principles of Chemistry by freckleder (32419 words)

In which Kenma ends up being sorted into the wrong group and has to endure his new, exhausting lab partner for the next month.

3. Curiosity Kills by newamsterdam (41426 words) 

Kenma rescues a cat.

Later on, the cat saves him in return.

4. Saltwater Room by hipster-yams (60640 words)

Kenma had been perfectly happy just attending class half-asleep, secretly practicing cello, and occasionally getting his hand stuck in the vending machine but certain people refuse to let his quiet bliss go on and force him to think about everything he’s been trying to hide away in the depths of his mind for years.

5. Dial 119 by nimbus_cloud (13923 words)

Based on faiyuuhi’s HQ fireman!AU

The very kind and talented faiyuuhi commissioned me to write a Kuroo/Kenma get-together fic for her fireman!AU and how on earth could I possibly say no?

6. Cat Slippers at Midnight by jojotxt (5509 words)

Kuroo wears comfy slippers and makeup and Kenma is just a disgruntled librarian. Let him live.

7. There’s No Tutorial For This by sinata (21500 words)

“I think maybe Kuroo-senpai likes him, and that’s why it was hard for him to tell us.”
“On the fucking nose, Lev.”

Kuroo likes Kenma, but he can’t figure that out for himself. Kenma likes Kuroo, except he’s never had a crush on anyone before and has no idea how to cope. Hopefully they can both figure it out by the time their summer vacation ends.

“…I swear to god I’m going to die Bokuto, he’s so cute and I’m so fucked.”

8. Color In The Rain by esmaewrites (11865 words)

Kuroo is leaving for college. Surely that’s why Kenma furiously sketches him to the point of obsession. Why Kuroo catches himself staring at Kenma for perhaps too long. Or why both of them can’t shake the feeling that somewhere along the lines of their long friendship something got tangled along the way.
But that’s because Kuroo is leaving.
Right?

9. The Wedding Hall Shuffle by icespyders (17604 words)

Box steps for a waltz are easy, even if you’ve never done them before, even if you learned at a strangers’ wedding from another stranger, even if you’re not quite sure what you’re doing. But love? Love is something else, something without regimented one-two-three-four patterns, without rules.

Maybe it’s silly, but Kenma thinks he might be figuring it out.

10. Rough Draft by shions_heart (16186 words)

Kozume Kenma’s a novelist tasked to write a romance into his action-adventure stories in order to attract more readers, something he has no idea how to do. At a loss, he recruits his attractive next-door neighbor Kuroo Tetsurou to assist him in experiencing what a relationship feels like.

He should have anticipated the way things grow more complicated.


I hope that you like these as much as I did, and I’ll hopefully have more Fic Rec lists coming out soon!

1 New Message (Part One)

pairing: connor murphy x reader

word count: 2800

genre: angst

warnings: suicide talk, swearing

summary: you are a poet on an online forum and connor murphy has been a big fan of your work for… well, for a long time. one day, he finally gets to the courage to send you a message about it - except it turns into more conversations about more than just the art.

a/n: ahh!!! this one is a bit more abnormal and all dialogue, with no actions or feelings or explanations etc!! if this isnt your thing then dont feel obligated to read it. but it is rlly natural and kind of fun to read at points and i feel like its very connor-esque. this will be split into 2 parts for your easy reading because text talk format might get annoying after a while (and ignore any mistakes i make in the format set up its a lot of work) but… enjoy ?? <3 btw all poetry is mine dont steal xoxo


July 31st

1 new message.

From monnorcurphy: Hey

From you: hey!!!

From monnorcurphy: This probably sounds creepy but I just wanted to tell you that Ive been following your poetry for a really long fucking time

From monnorcurphy: And I think that your newest poem is the best fucking thing ever

From monnorcurphy: Like it is actually perfect

From you: oh my gosh!!! thank u so much i didn’t really think anyone saw that

From monnorcurphy: I did and I thought it was really good

From you: well thank u so much!!!

From monnorcurphy: I really like the line about

From monnorcurphy: Hang on let me go find it

From you: haha ok

From monnorcurphy: “Every breath is a bell sounding loud in her head”

From monnorcurphy: I feel that so hard

From you: oh god, tell me about it

From monnorcurphy: I wish I could write poetry as good as u can

From monnorcurphy: Mines such garbage

From you: im sure its not omg

From you: can i read some???

Keep reading