“Oh look, Jeongguk posted a new cover. He’s really good, huh?” Bogum told Tae as they deplaned from Jeju. Taehyung looked at him, confused, as Jeongguk has not mentioned anything about a cover before he left.
Bogum showed him a video posted in the BTS YouTube Channel, the usual black screen with just Jeongguk’s vocals. A melodic ballad tune played and after a few bars, that signature voice came in.
Why can’t you hold me in the street
Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor
I wish that we could be like that
‘cause I’ m yours
Taehyung scrolled the video to look at the title just to be sure but the first lines are a dead giveaway anyway.
Secret Love Song by the Little Mix was a song they both chanced upon by accident. They heard a Korean cover of the song uploaded a few months back and Taehyung swore it was stuck in his head for quite a while. The song is bittersweet and catchy but most of all, it’s a sort of anthem for Taehyung and Jeongguk’s current life.
A secret love affair of stolen kisses, hidden intertwined hands, smitten glances, all mostly done in borrowed time.
Fans are quick to realize, fast on the uptake in every fancam video of them whispering, holding hands, getting lost in the small intimate world that they created that the management reminded them to be careful. They even resorted to directing them to stay away in videos, sit far apart in fan signs so as not taint their good bulletproof boys images. As if loving someone regardless of gender is a sin or smear that should be wiped away clean.
Taehyung remembered that Jeongguk asked him if he can come home with him to Busan for a few days during their break.
“Sorry Kookie, I promised Bogum I’ll meet him when I get back to give him the items he asked me to buy. I need to come home to Daegu soon after to visit Grandma and the kids are waiting for me. How about after the last leg of the tour, yes? We’ll have another break then. ”
Jeongguk cannot win at poker with his lack of facial filter to hide his emotions. His face is too expressive. He tried to hold back this time, but his jaw clenching and his usual tongue-in-cheek quirk is showing.
“It’s okay Tae, I’m pretty sure you’re fed up with my face by now. Have fun in Jeju.” His phone started ringing and he nodded to excuse himself out curtly. It’s probably Yugyeom calling him out again to play.
“Gummy, I think I need to go.” Bogum nodded and clapped Taehyung in the back. He knows Taehyung’s relationship with Jeongguk and the song clearly says it all.
“I know. Let’s meet again sometime, ok? Have fun in the next leg!”
Taehyung walked fast and half ran as he saw Sejin-hyung waiting for him in the arrivals area.
“Hyung, is Jeongguk still at the dorm?” He asked as Sejin took his bag. They were walking towards the exit when sasaeng fans started screaming for Taehyung.
So they ran, fast, towards the van.
“Kookie was with Yoongi in his studio this morning. I know he asked for the 2nd to the last train sched to Busan for today. Brave kid, taking the train. I hope there are no sasaengs there.”
“Sejin-hyung! Let’s go to the studio! Hurry!”
Nodding, Sejin instructed the driver to go to the HQ and all Taehyung can think about is how much he hurt Jeongguk unintentionally.
“Kid’s not here anymore Taehyung. He left for Busan an hour ago.”
As expected, Yoongi is the only one left in the studio and no trace Jeongguk anywhere.
“I messed up hyung! I really hurt Kookie right?”
Yoongi’s head bounced up and down like he’s playing a tune in his head.
“Yep kid, big time. Jeon was crying when we finished and of course I kicked him.” Taehyung eyes grew wide in disbelief. “Kidding, i told him to suck it up and go home. Thing is, Taehyung, he’s enamored with you and I cannot blame you for being the social butterfly that you are but you do tend to leave him out. I know it’s a secret love affair and the world need not know what the truth is but be mindful of his feelings too. No one wants to be in a secret alone.”
Taehyung buried his face into his hands. Ah Taehyung how can you be so insensitive, he said to himself. Jeongukk deserves an apology and no phone call can cut it.
“Hyung can you..?”
Before he can even finish, Yoongi slid a piece of paper to him without even peeling his eyes off the screen of his computer.
Taehyung smiled and prepared to haul himself to Yoongi when the older male shot him an icy death stare, daring him to continue his plan of glomping him.
“Bring me Daegu food when you come back. I’m not going home. Now shoo, go away. Leave me be.”
“Thank you Hyung! I love youuu!”
“Urgh, c'mon, save that for Jeongguk. It’s just a train ticket, no need to profess your love me. Urgh, the shivers.”
Taehyung bowed at Yoongi and charged for the exit.
“Go get him tiger!”
It’s around 2am when Jeongguk arrived in his neighborhood in Busan. It’s late but somehow going straight to the park nearby his house sounded better to him that going home. He perched himself on a patch of grass, placed his bags and guitar beside him. Going home to Busan reminds Jeongguk that he’s just a kid with humble beginnings, with a simple house and cute dogs. Busan is childhood, his adolescent dream while Seoul is work, adulthood, music, fans and of course…
Seoul is connected to Taehyung.
Jeongguk shook his head at the idea of him crying in front of Yoongi after finishing the cover a while ago. He was just so jealous of Bogum and frustrated with Taehyung and their relationship. Why can the two of them go out while Jeongguk waits at home? How can they look so fucking perfect together that the management allows them to post it in Twitter while he can’t even post selcas with Taehyung without causing an uproar?
Why can’t they express love same way other people in love do?
Sighing again, he took out his guitar and looked around if here are anyone around. When the coast was clear, he strummed the chords of the song away.
We keep behind closed doors
Every time I see you, I die a little more
Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls
It’ll never be enough
He laughed at how this song fits him so much right now, it literally hurts. He was taken a back though when he heard a familiar baritone singing the next few bars.
Why can’t you hold me in the street?
Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor?
I wish that it could be like that
Why can’t we be like that?
'Cause I’m yours
Taehyung sat beside him on the grass, their knees touching. They both look the same, hoodie, cap, black mask but underneathe faint night light, Jeongguk can see Taehyung’s eyes.
Pleading. Apologetic. Sincere.
“I’m so sorry Kookie… I shouldn’t have chosen Bogum over you. I’m really sorry.”
Jeongukk placed his guitar down and looked at Tae directly. He cannot get angry with those eyes on that face. He just can’t. Just like LANY said in ILYSB, I’m hella obsessed with your face and yeah, Taehyung’s face gives him that feeling. Somehow, the all that jealousy and frustration dissipated when Taehyung started peeling the mask off Jeongguk’s face. He cupped his hand on his cheek and Jeongguk sighed into it. Taehyung is Taehyung. Nothing else feels right when Taehyung is right there, smiling at him.
Everthing else, poof! Gone.
Out of the window.
“Kiss me then, if you’re so sorry.” Jeongguk haughtily said as he pulled the strings of Taehyung’s mask off his eyes, revealing his boxy grin. Oh lord, he is such a delight. Why was he angry again?
Taehyung kissed him slowly at first then fervently soon after. Kissing him felt the same as snuggling against him every night, holding his palm against his with their fingers intertwined.
Busan is Jeongguk’s childhood, Seoul is his work.
Taehyung is home.
“We’ll work this out, babe. We’ll get through this one day. Let’s keep this secret safe for now, okay? Don’t let go Kookie, I never will.”
With their foreheads touching, Jeongguk smiled and kissed Taehyung lightly once more.
“You have all my cards, Tae. I’m not going anywhere.”
Why can’t I say that I’m in love?
I wanna shout it from the rooftop
I wish that it could be like that
Why can’t we be like that?
'Cause I’m yours
They both know it will take a long time for them to be able to tell the whole world of their secret. They also know that some secrets are better kept unsaid. But they’ve built their own little world around each other, no secrets, no lies.
That, for now, should be enough.
Fuck i have a 9am meeting.
Idgaf I’ve been hurting for Taekook for the past few days, fite me. I need to let this shit out.
Not beta read, done in 2 hours.
Oh sleep cmon. Let’s go!