Snarky Recap - Thunderbirds Are Go - “Skyhook”
Also known as The One Where Things Get Really Windy.
48 hours is a new record? Jeez I guess the Tracy Brothers don’t get to see much of the world except when they’re on duty. (Which still sounds better than my current perspective ahahaha)
Looks like the new diet on Tracy Island is plain bagels - made by EOS, no doubt. How these guys manage to look that well-defined and healthy remains a mystery. Maybe Brains found a way to make those astronaut type all-in-one foods. *shrugs* Anyway, I’m not sure if I can deal with Alan’s puppy eyed look of utter admiration. He just loves being around his big brothers, like they’re his entire world and ugh stop it you’re far too adorable and precious. *muffled screeching*
John: “It’s hard to think with all this gravity. I’m going to the office.” Translation: BYE, LOSERS. I’M GOING TO GET SHIT DONE.
Also, +1 to Max for trying to do something about those awful trousers. -1 for making John trip and not even getting a tiny tear in said trousers.
EOS: “I’m amazed every time you trust your life to that tiny cable. The slightest failure and SPLAT, you’re a tiny dark spot on Tracy Island.”
EOS being her supportive snarky self. EOS IS BACK, GUYS. I AM SO EXCITED I CAN’T NOT USE CAPSLOCK.
Fischler: “We’ve determined it is indeed a storm down there. *pause* A big one.” Oh wow you must have been top of your meteorology class, mate.
John: “Well, that’s sure to rock the scientific community.” Not sure if sarcasm or just being polite. *squints*
Fischler, after finding out his vessel is rising out of control: “Who employed you lot? *pause* Oh it was me. Must have had a day off that day.” Oh wow, we have a comedy genius, ladies and gentlemen. *slow clap*
John: “…once they reach critical altitude, the balloons will rupture and the station will drop like a rock.”
Fischler: “Uh, we will experience a marked change of direction.” YOU DON’T SAY. Is this guy for real though. I mean, seriously, what is he even.
Virgil plotting a course to stay well above the hurricane. Cue Gordon the Punmeister’s finest/worst (scrap whichever is most applicable) moments: “Don’t worry, I’ll… *wink* keep an eye on it. *wink, dramatic pause* You know, because hurricanes have an eye at the centre.”
GORDON. GORDON, NO.
Meanwhile, Virgil looks like he’s desperately trying to think about fluffy things instead of violence towards his pun prone brother.
Brains listing all of the safety regulations that the weather station ought to have, only to be told they were superfluous or slow or just not worth installing. This guy is worse than Bruce Ismay. At least the Titanic had lifeboats.
Virgil: “Doctor Gordon, your patient is ready.”
Gordon: “Doors please, Doctor Virgil.”
Virgil: “Don’t let them hit you on the way out.”
JUST HOW PRECIOUS ARE THESE TWO THOUGH.
I may have screamed unladylike words at this point. Because Virgil and Thunderbird 2 falling like a brick.
Doctor Gordon saving the other patient that desperately needed saving and being a fucking badass at it. *fans self* Also, Virgil looking all useless and sad when he realizes his younger brother has full control of his ‘Bird. Excuse me while I go and cuddle Virgil now.
Scott: “Can you give us a status report?”
Fischler: “Well, so far your rescue attempts appear to be unsuccessful. International Rescue? HA. International Slow Coach, more like.” YOU DO NOT INSULT INTERNATIONAL RESCUE AND GET AWAY WITH IT, YOU DICK.
Brains: *mentions escape pods and launch strategy, then realizes mid sentence that this is yet another missing feature* SEE? SEE? This flying weather station should’ve been named after Bruce Ismay.
Fischler: “…we do however have these jumpsuits with rather nifty Fischler Industries logos.” Yes because that totally was worth the extra cost. Totally.
Brains: “You’ll look very stylish as the gale force winds tear you to pieces.” Brains, remember that talk we had about keeping certain facts to yourself or at least rephrasing them to sound a bit less graphic?
Thunderbird 2 failed, Thunderbird 1 has to retreat… Now it’s up to Space Pup aka Rocket Boy to save the day. Look at his face when he realizes it’s his turn to go out and be a hero. *muffled sobbing*
Alan fist pumping his way down to Thunderbird 3′s launching bay. I just lost the ability to can .___________.
Aaaaand there goes Thunderbird 3. Seriously, this Fischler guy sure has racked up one hell of a repair bill…
Thunderbirds brainstorming council is go.
Alan: “Maybe we can create a slow leak.”
Gordon: “Yeah, use a smart projectile. Hit those balloons with a scattershot of needles.”
Virgil: “Great idea. The slightest perforation and they explode.” SNAAAARK.
Gordon: “Do you have to shoot down every idea?” Gordon, please.
Virgil: “I’m not the one shooting things down.” Virgil, please.
More sibling arguing ensues until Brains interrupts: “Actually there may be someone who can save them.”
*dramatic cut to Thunderbird 5*
I knew it. I KNEW IT. SPACE TRASH TO THE RESCUE.
John, explaining his rescue strategy: “Physics, couldn’t be simpler.” John, please.
John bragging about his arcade claw machine skills. I am now having a head canon idea that involves John’s room being stuffed with claw machine loot and big cuddly plushies. *chinhands*
The space elevator and gravity ring combo pulling the weather station in: Thunderbird 5 is more than just a pretty communications hub. Please mind your step, my John feels appear to be all over the place.
Look at what you’re doing to our precious cinnamon roll, Fischler. He’s in pain and so is Thunderbird 5.
And then it’s over. Thunderbird 5 saved the weather station. I’m so happy for the poor people on board and because Fischler gets to see another day in which he will surely get what he deserves. Petition to punch Fischler in the face, who wants to sign?
EOS: “Ouch, my subroutines are killing me.”
John: LOL I’m just gonna drift because physics y’know.
Space trash gonna space trash, I guess.
Fischler rambling about replacing his staff with monkeys. Your new employees will still be more intelligent than you, sir.
John: “Please get this man off of my station before I have a sudden unexplained airlock failure.” Well that worked for Ellen Ripley. Except that having a guy like Fischler on your space station might just be worse than dealing with a Xenomorph. At least the latter will make it a quick death.
So. That has to be one of the most amazing episodes since EOS and Fireflash. Damn. I can’t believe we’re nearing the mid season finale/hiatus. I AM NOT READY.